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BS: Devil's advoCats
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 28 Feb 03 - 01:02 PM I have a couple of odd memories similar to that, just barely hanging by their fingers to a cliff in my brain. My brother and I wanted to ride a bus to Sunday school, and were allowed. He ran off and I got lost in the hallways, scared to open any doors. So a minister found me, asked if I was lost, and when I said yes, he had a great idea of taking me out in front of the whole congregation, so they could all pray for this "lost" child. I hate that clever bastard, whoever he was. And I had a babysitter who ironed and watched soap operas continuously. To this day the smell of ironing depresses me utterly, smells like a never-ending day of captivity and boredom. I remember how she complained about her soap being cancelled because of the first moonwalk. * It's hard to talk about personal style, maybe because so much of it is about what you don't do, or won't do. It's hard to consciously notice the omissions. I guess one frustration I have with mudcat, artists, and life in general, is it's hard to talk about what and how stuff comes across. Since I started a thread I can't live up to, maybe I can throw this in too. I've been reading some older threads about criticism, useful criticism, annoying criticism, smart-assed guy-in-a-bar criticism. But there are scattered bits and pieces of what I'm looking for. And any attempt to characterize somebody's stuff starts to come across as a slight, or a put-down, even if it isn't meant that way. Did you ever make a good comment that the player seemed to really get, and appreciate? It's hard to do. What's something you can't do well, that is a weakness and maybe also a strength? Or do you see it only one way or another? I can't sing that effortless-sounding, floating sort of singing, much. On the other hand, I can sing some stuff okay, and don't often sound facile or disengaged. Sometimes it quells my envy of better singers, and I'm okay with my own voice, for the most part. Virtuosos make a lot of bad records, I think, because they try to show themselves being Good, instead of simply being Good. I find some virtuoso-driven music depressing, and maybe not entirely out of envy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 27 Feb 03 - 08:02 PM Couldnt'cha have knocked it over into her lap by accident? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 27 Feb 03 - 07:31 PM Les B, my cousin still resents the farmwife too! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: GUEST,Les B. Date: 27 Feb 03 - 05:02 PM Fred - your friend with the dupled girlfriend must have found new meaning in the old song "In The Sweet Bi and Bi"! Ebbie - the farm boy and the peas made me flash on a memory I'd almost totally suppressed. When I was about 13 my dad took me on spring round-up at the main ranch. I was excited to be going out on circle with the real cowboys. The foreman was a blustery bag of wind and his wife was a pushy old biddy cut from the same cloth. They laid on a huge ranch breakfast. I asked for milk and when it arrived it obviously tasted rancid. I just put it aside and didn't say much. Sure enough the wife comes along and asks why I'm not drinking it. I try to quietly tell her, but she ends up verbally embarassing me into drinking the whole damn tumbler. Writing this now, some 45 years later, it still pisses me off!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bill D Date: 27 Feb 03 - 04:57 PM Jean Redpath used to say, "Did you ever notice that when you have a stong accent, people YELL AT YOU SLOWLY?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 27 Feb 03 - 02:42 PM This is a pretty funny absurd mix of interesting observations! I guess I'm a cowardly lion about stirring up trouble though. I always thought being bi would help one's odds, and it was exactly that remark that prompted my co-worker to launch into an attack. A friend of mine was seeing a bisexual bipolar person, and coined the terms a "Bi-bi", or "bi and bi", for the combination. Is that mean? Aw shucks. Speaking of both perversity and French, after awhile I learned to run the few French phrases I knew all blurrily together, with the result that when I said I couldn't speak French, people kept speaking it to me, in disbelief. So I went back to overpronouncing everything. Young people all knew English from songs, so if you were fluent in old Beatle lyrics you could communicate. Oddly, Beatle's songs seemed to cover every situation I encountered. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 26 Feb 03 - 02:11 PM Speaking of "Rocky Top", in addition to being the world's most overplayed bluegrass song, it is, as many of you are doubtlessly aware, the "fight song" for the athletic teams of the University of Tennessee. As such, it played a major role in one of the most outrageous practical jokes I have ever had the pleasure of being a party to. I guess this thread is as good a place as any to tell the story. For several years, I worked for a fellow who had graduated from Florida State University and was a serious football supporter and season-ticket holder. For those of you who live outside the US (or just don't give a shit), FSU is a perennial contender for the national championship of US college football. A few years ago, FSU played Tennessee for the national championship and lost. My boss had attended the game which was played at, I believe, the Fiesta Bowl in Arizona. Anyway, the office staff decided that the humiliation of having his team lose was not quite enough. So, our office alpha-geek went online, found a really obnoxious MIDI of "Rocky Top", downloaded it onto the boss's computer and set it to play when a new window was opened. Boss arrived back home, took the requisite number of jibes for being a supporter of a losing team and sat down to get some work done on his computer only to have it play the other team's fight song as soon as he opened a window. How sweet it was. After about a dozen plays we were told to remove it or find other jobs. So it goes. Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Doug_Remley Date: 26 Feb 03 - 02:01 PM I always thought going "bi" might make finding dates easier by a substantial parcentage. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 26 Feb 03 - 01:22 PM Fred, Freud was much too afreud of women to be able to build a decent psyche model for them. Hell, no-one's been able to -- the darn critturs are afraid of themselves and more intimidating than anything else in the language-using Earth. Somebody should have told him, "Look, Sigmund, there's nothing to be afreud of except being a Freud itself!". Would have cured him of that nasty cigar habit, for shoah! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 26 Feb 03 - 01:16 PM Fred M, you mention the perplexities of human nature- mostly typified by women who don't take one's word for something. But men do the same thing. I was at a music party where one man said, I like just about any kind of music. There are only two songs I don't like, songs that I just can't stand: The Lion Sleeps Tonight and something, something (I've forgotten). Another musician said, Hey, that's a good song- let's sing Lion Sleeps Tonight. And they did. Then dang! if they didn't sing the other one too. The first man and I looked at each other stupefied then burst out laughing. I have no idea if the group had simply not heard the caveat of the first man or what. Maybe we can just put it down to the perversity of the human bean. A cousin of mine told me of when he was a shy 16-year-old hired out as a farm hand. The first time he was offered sweet peas at dinner, he tried to tell the farmwife that he didn't care for peas. It came out wrong evidently, for after that she made sure that whatever else she was serving, my cousin got his side dish of peas. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: GUEST,Les B. Date: 26 Feb 03 - 11:16 AM Jeez - I thought "Lesbian Butt" was going to be somehow related to "Plumber's Crack" - which, by the by, they're now making T-shirts with an extra four inches of tail (no pun intended) to eliminate that oft seen sight. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 26 Feb 03 - 10:46 AM "Anyone ever heard any good French rock n roll?" I once heard an explanation of why French music is distinctly French sounding. The music of a culture is, to some extent, a reflection of its language. We hear our spoken language day in and day out and carry some of its characteristics over into the metrical component of our music. French is a relatively unemphatic language. It doesn't have the hard consonants and distinct accents that, say, German has. The French run all of their words together into a flowing stream of words. The Germans pronounce each word distinctly. This characteristic carries over into their music. (Try to imagine Debussy having written "Die Gotterdammerung" or Wagner having written "La Mer".) Rock 'n roll is a very beat-driven form of music. The French language just lacks the strong emphasized beat that rock 'n roll must have to work. Now, Cajun French is a different matter entirely. It is many generations removed from Continental French and has developed much more distinct accents, probably as a result of many speakers being bi-lingual with English. Cajun music is extremely beat-driven. Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 26 Feb 03 - 09:27 AM You're probably both right. My doings is foolish. Hi ho. Freud sucks. Freudian readings of art are an excellent way to misunderstand everything in grotesque and comical ways. Analysis is a great way to prey on people's narcissism and depression, and turn it into a business. Does it work? Yes, often it does, but no particular theories work any better than others. Having sex with a prostitute probably works too, but one might be better off developing an amateur sort of relationship. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 25 Feb 03 - 10:22 PM Fred, are you sure we don't remember? Maybe we're just being perverse and jerking your chain! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 25 Feb 03 - 05:24 PM I knew a guy that tried that one a few times, Fred. It didn't get him laid though. He just had to listen to a lot of bitching. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 25 Feb 03 - 09:31 AM Uncle DaveO, that's the spirit! But you've never heard any good rock? And some people say it's too loud.... I have a little documentary about Bluegrass which keeps cutting to two anonymous farmers in a field for comments, and my favorite is about Elvis and the popularity of rock n roll. "Well I don't like to say it, but to me his doings was foolish." The tuning zapper might work with the same technology as my car alarm device, which delivers a searing shock to the car owner when the alarm goes off, and keeps it up til the car is silenced. Then delivers a whopping hair-extending shock shortly afterward, for good measure. Hi ho, I can't think of nuthing. But why is it if you tell a guy you don't like something, they'll usually remember it. But if you tell a woman you don't like something, she'll go out of her way to keep offering it to you on a platter for the rest of your life? If you are a vegetarian, a woman will suddenly start fixing you chicken sandwiches while her husband keeps saying He won't eat it, he will not eat that, he's a whadyacallit, one of those, um, he won't eat it. Tell a woman you read a book and hated it, she'll give it to you on your next birthday. I've encountered this thousands of times, and only wish I'd known about it sooner, when I was younger, so I could've told everyone I was gay. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 24 Feb 03 - 03:57 PM Fracoise Hardy did first rate doowop, native Parisienne style -- I can still remember A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 24 Feb 03 - 01:40 PM Joni Mitchell had an electronic guitar built for her that does indeed digitally transpose the strings to her different tunings without her having to retune. I remember reading about it a couple of years ago in Acoustic Guitar (of all places). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 24 Feb 03 - 01:04 PM I think there are little gadgets to transpose tunings digitally, maybe instead of a beeping light just a standard tuning zapper. Fred, you have inspired me to think outside the box- Since the instruments cannot be taught in the same way as humans, why not a digital gadget that gives the human a slight electric shock whenever a string goes 'off'? (If there's more than one string at fault, the shock could be made stronger.) A beep could be sounded at the same time so that other players in the group know that something is being done about the problem. Motivation- that's the key. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 24 Feb 03 - 09:56 AM Fred Miller asked: "Anyone ever heard any good French rock n roll?" No, but then I've never heard any good American, Canadian, or English rock and roll, either. Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 24 Feb 03 - 09:24 AM Barbie gets no reaction at all--sure, maybe if she had lesbian butt, people would care. Cluin I'll try to find the article about the bed, but it made no mention of whether he'd tried to market it. Although he had many hi-tech inventions his biggest market success was simply imbedding a t.v. remote in a football. I guess so one doesn't lose it. I think there are little gadgets to transpose tunings digitally, maybe instead of a beeping light just a standard tuning zapper. With a mute button. Or we could make everyone play harmonica also, to keep them in line. BWL, and what about Brits singing in American, and vice-versa? What about McCartney speaking fake French between songs? Can I use a couple of German phrases from Die Gedanken Sind Frie in this one song I do? I'm not sure about it. A woman tried for thirty minutes to teach me to pronounce nachtlichte--or whatever--then never spoke to me again. My theory, French painters shouldn't try to do abstract expressionism. Anyone ever heard any good French rock n roll? There's something about umph that is lost in translation, comes out poodle-groomed, or wearing a tasteful scarf. I will try to say something more offensive later, to stir up trouble. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 08:24 PM a one, a two, a ding, a one, a two, a dong, a one, a two... Can you tell I have a cold and am sitting here deprived of makin' music for the last four days? 'Course I could get out the guitar and work on some stuff but I'm napping instead. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 23 Feb 03 - 06:58 PM Say, that'd be alright as long as we could get all of the ding-dongs to ding in tune and dong on time! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 23 Feb 03 - 06:42 PM Yeah -- it only hertz when I play.... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 06:41 PM Amos's clamp-on solar-powered electronic tuner would be appreciably quieter in the evening. I could live with that. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bill D Date: 23 Feb 03 - 05:12 PM ohhhhhh.....Amos...go to yer room! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 23 Feb 03 - 04:56 PM They solved that problem with the clamp-on solar-powered electronic tuner. Presumably it makes "A" while the sun shines. Hertz, dunnit? :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:47 PM Would the beeps be in tune at least? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bill D Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:34 PM "Bill D, do you visualize a beep/red light for each string? " Will Rogers was once asked during WWII. "What shoud we do about the German submarines?"..."Easy", he said, "boil the oceans!" "Oh, Will, that's silly...how are we going to do that?" "That's not my department...I leave the details to the experts, I'm just the idea man!" sure...have a beep for each string! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:03 PM Fred, I'd like to know more about that bed... I always have a problem figuring out what to do with that "lower" arm while spooning. Always falls asleep on me in whatever position I put it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:32 PM Bill D, do you visualize a beep/red light for each string? Just picture 10 people sitting around trying to make music and these plaintive beeps keep resounding all around the room. Probably come to fist fights. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bill D Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:21 PM well *I* think guitars and banjos ought to have a little micro chip embedded in the neck that emits a pulse of energy and beeps or flashes a red light when the instrument varies from standard tuning! Guys who play at home all week show up at gatherings, having re-tuned to themselves until they are WAY off, and then they tune to each other, and poor, long suffering autoharpists are left sitting. Ya' know, I'm beginning to think it's a plot! Bluegrass bands are behind it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:14 PM Amen, Amos! DEATH TO THE MOUSE! Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 23 Feb 03 - 11:42 AM I think Walt Disney founded the Axis of Evil. If we could only subtract the influence of Mickey Mouse from world history, we would find much less hatred toward the U.S. Exporting Mickey and Goofy was a colossal strategic blunder. Talk about weapons of mass destruction!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 23 Feb 03 - 10:50 AM My grandmother has a radio that only plays Rocky Top and news that changes without getting up to date. After Castaway I got a contract with my wife that if I'm ever lost at sea for four years with a volleyball and I come back and she's remarried I still get a "greeting/severance package" including something more than a tearful hug. I read about an inventor once who designed a bed with a lateral channel in it so he could sleep with his arm around someone without cutting off his circulation. Actually, the Howell's only brought one trunk full of cash, mere change, as was discussed in the Mr. Howell-imposter episode. I don't know about Ginger, never noticed if she changed or not, I was fixated on Mary-Ann. I think Ginger had a dress made from the sail, though. It is strange that after the Skipper died, the Professor turned into a striking twin of him. What foul thing can I say or defend today? Barbie. I like Barbie, and all the bad press she gets is mean-spirited scapegoating. People blame her for their own erotic fetish of her. She's really very shy, and not too bright, but tries hard, and feels freakish, and cries herself to sleep at night in her little box, or more often, left laying out on the floor. American Girl dolls are smug pretentious over-priced crap, not worth a Bag O' Barbie Heads. They can kiss Barbie's MATEL tm. I think high school kids should do nude life-drawing as a required curiculum, at 7:00 am, to develop visual skills, learn to participate in seeing, so they aren't so easily led by advertising and pop-culture imagery to screw themselves up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:42 AM On the outside, darlin', on the outside.:-) Even my own hair makes me break out and itch if a loose strand falls on bare skin! Talk about touchy, eh?! Actually, live cats do not make me itch, so maybe, nah...they'd have to be alive, there's not way I'd sleep in it otherwise! I did read an ad once for a fur-lined bra for those who lived in the northern climes like yerself.:-) But, somehow, I don't think they meant this! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 02:29 AM It appeared that the journalist had slept in his clothes, kat, or at least they gave no hint of disrobing... But what happened to your fantasy of having a furry coat? :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:56 AM It sounds lovely, Ebbie, but I think it'd make me itch like crazy! At least there'd be no drafts to freeze my bum.:-) Ontario here I come!**bg** |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:51 AM I used to spend some time in my younger days wondering why we don't have a tent-like cavity in/on our beds into which we can insert ourselves and be toasty, sans nightclothes and with no covers touching, maybe with a kayak-like skirting around one's neck... You suppose it could work? On a documentary I watched recently a journalist in Siberia was given a 'bed' that was like a hairy womb. The outer shell was a tent apparently made of gut or some other translucent material. Inside it was a small tent that was lined with reindeer hides, hair side in. On the 'floor' were piled more hides. There were a couple of fat candles that warmed the air but he was given no covers. He stretched out- and reported in the morning that he had been toasty. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:51 AM Whoops, I should have clarified that's it's legal here in Ontario for females to go topless in public. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:46 AM So maybe we'd all just toughen up, eh? (It's too cold here, too, right now.:-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:40 AM It's too eff-ff-ff-ff-ffing cold for that around here, kat. However, it is legal for the past couple of years now for women to go topless in public if they want. Contrary to a lot of tight-assed people's fears, not very many women have availed themselves of this new "freedom". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: katlaughing Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:33 AM Of course cats have no frelling* idea of how to spot a hetero, since they always have their nose up each other's butts no matter the equipment. While we are at it, why did we have to be the only animals who have to wear clothes? I mean isn't it time that we liberate ourselves as much as the animals are free to prance around in their b-day suits? At the very least we wemoon shouldn't be arrested for baring tops any more than the men! kat *Farscape's version of fucking |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 23 Feb 03 - 01:31 AM LOL, Cluin. Tom Hanks talked about that once when he was a guest on Charlie Rose's show- talking about 'Castaway', he said they could have had him build a bicycle out of bamboo. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Cluin Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:49 AM Hey, and what about that "Gilligan's Island"? Why did the Howells take all that money along? And why did Ginger have all those different clothes? It was a three hour tour, a THREE HOUR TOUR!!! And why didn't Gilligan and the Skipper have a change of clothes? They LIVED on the frickin' boat!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Amos Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:39 AM And as for Danny Boy, begorrah, may he go off to plough the rocks o' Bawn alongside the Maid of the Sweet Brown Knowe in the Garden Where the Praties Grow, wearing a Black Velvet Band and driving a lovliest of all Unicorn!! LOL! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:18 AM Hey! I like this idea! I can say something and you can't tell whether I'm serious or just pulling your leg and I don't have to tell you which it is and even if I did tell you I could lie about it! Cool! Okee-dokee! I hate it when people sing in a foreign language. I don't mean "foreign" as in "non-English". I mean foreign as in a language that the singer does not normally speak. French singers should sing in French. Paul McCartney should not. Irish singers who speak Irish should be the only ones allowed to sing in Irish. As they are probably bilingual and speak English as well as they do Irish, they are allowed to sing in either language. Dumb-ass Americans who learn Irish songs phonetically without even knowing what the words mean should be banned from sessions everywhere. They are nothing but pretentious. If I never hear some dip sing "Shule Aroon" again it'll be okay with me. While we're at it, could we please never hear "Roddy McCorley" again? I know it's in English, but I'm damned well sick of it! It's gotta be the Irish equivalent of "Rocky Top". Now, that was fun! All you have to do is figure out whether I was serious. And if you accuse me of being a jerk, I'll tell you I was only kidding. Hey, Fred made up the rules, not me! Bruce |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Troll Date: 23 Feb 03 - 12:13 AM The dog says, "They feed me, they groom me, they pet me, they take care of me. They must be Gods." The cat says, "They feed me, they groom me, they pet me, they take care of me. I must be a God." troll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Ebbie Date: 22 Feb 03 - 11:50 PM "I believe that if people had a fraction of an inkling of the misadventures they have already survived getting to this turn in the road, their current adventures would seem relatively delightfully easy to them." Amos, I love that! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Devil's advoCats From: Sam L Date: 22 Feb 03 - 11:00 PM Well, Amos, Thanks! I believe that cats have a Jungian collective unconscious, but dogs don't. Cats remember somehow that humans worshipped them as divine, and still bloody well expect it, and nothing less, whereas dogs will take whatever they can get. Prove me wrong, anybody. |