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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 04 Mar 10 - 04:25 PM LOL Is that a pun? Or a typo? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: gnu Date: 04 Mar 10 - 04:11 PM SnowjobÉ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 04 Mar 10 - 03:32 PM Hey, Sev. InterVenus DeMilo made the big time. Immortalized in ice! http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/35709463/ns/today-today_people/ I see a cooling bath in your future. SINS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: VirginiaTam Date: 04 Mar 10 - 03:21 PM ger orf me ya big wassname. I don't want the legs. Looky here! I got this prosthetic tail I'd be most obliged if you could just tip me into the therapy pool. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 04 Mar 10 - 03:05 PM Listerine here, gnu. And don't breathe on me. yuch! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: gnu Date: 04 Mar 10 - 02:50 PM SOB!!! I thought she said she was here with the decaffeinated! I said, "No thanks as I am having a hard time urinating." She said, "This will help." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Severn Date: 04 Mar 10 - 02:17 PM Orderly Running Sore to VT, "We tried to stop and grab on the run Ms. DeMilo, but she shed them and got away and is still running down the corridor, so we thought we'd return them to you. Din't worry, I DID wash them first...... OOOPS!!! Wrong side and backwards you say?!?!? Sorry 'bout dat! I'll fix it! Nurse Wretched over in Physical Therapy showed me how. HOLD STILL, dern ya! And stop screaming!....." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: VirginiaTam Date: 04 Mar 10 - 01:59 PM OOOOUUUUCCCCHHHH!!! Who stuck my legs back on? I don't want them, I tell you. Take the away. sniffle.... hurts |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Severn Date: 04 Mar 10 - 01:51 PM Poor gnu. He thought the somewhat stunned Native American orderly Running Sore had been muttering something about Hospice rather than "Hoss-Piss". Sadder-Budweiser he'll come around again aftter developing a bit of an immunity/tolerance over the years. And Amos, as was his habit, had unconsciously mixed some in with his coffee.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Severn Date: 04 Mar 10 - 01:35 PM The beautiful and lovely (but now quadruped) InterVenus DeMilo has apparently become somewhat temoprarily enamored, as well as somewhat temporarily attatched, to VT's legs. She seems to be at least an approximate version of her old state of mind as she apoligizes to me as we shake hand and right forefoot. I have become somewhat enamored of Burn Unit Nurse Mary Ellen Cauterize in Ms.DeMilo's abscence and I seem to be making some slow progress on that front, even if it isn't quite slow-burning love at this point, and she was running right behind me in the procession, so I'd better be careful. I don't have long to ponder, as right about the same time that I asked which toe would her engagement ring go on, she looks upward and sees the directional sigh pointing down the hall towards the Radiology Lab and proceeds to jump up and gallop down the hallway on all fours with a look of fury on her face. I'd rather stay and let Mary Ellen pleasurably hold me up and hand feed me my meds while I play needy, but I realize that the reason that this all hadn't been broken up by Nurse Ratched a while ago, is that she might be trysting again (like she did last summer?) with InterVenus's former fiancee, The Weird Guy From Radiology, who must have pocketed the engagement ring for good and thought he'd moved on in his life. I tell the others what's happening and tell them we'll catch up later, but the mood with Mary Ellen has been broken and we get up, shrug and hurry along with the crowd. Is wincingdevil still around with his camera?..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 04 Mar 10 - 11:41 AM gnu??? Are you OK? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 03 Mar 10 - 01:30 PM I read that as a "merkin" of Kent's best and fetched you all some toothpicks and dental floss. No need to thank me. gnu - I wouldn't drink that stuff. Those are urine samples. the patient had fasting samples and non-fasting samples submitted - with or without food. SOmeone get him a whoopie pail. Damn fool has been drinking Canadian beer and couldn't tell the difference. Whose samples were those? We'll need new ones... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: gnu Date: 02 Mar 10 - 07:31 PM I raise a jar to that, Sev.... hmmmm... both of these say "take with or without food"... so, with, I guess. Salut. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Severn Date: 02 Mar 10 - 07:16 PM Ale for what goods us? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: VirginiaTam Date: 02 Mar 10 - 03:06 PM should say this is not my song... Titled the Merry Hostess on Graham and Eillen Pratt LP we have. There are more verses. Nurse DeMilo can keep my damned legs. They hurt too much. I am going to get those springy bouncy prosthetic legs paralympic runners use. You guys won't see me for dust! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: gnu Date: 02 Mar 10 - 02:58 PM VT... well done. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: VirginiaTam Date: 02 Mar 10 - 02:15 PM Oooohhh! What's this? On the bottom tray of tea trolley. A firkin of Kent's Best and a schload of plastic cups... Wooohooooo! Screeching to a halt at the end of the corridor, and making ready to play pub landlady. ♬ Come all that love good company And hearken to my song Tis of a lovely hostess fine That lives in London town Who sells good ale both nappy and stale And always thus sings she My ale was tunnn,d when I was young A little above my knee The gayest lady with her fan Doth love such snappy ale Both city maids and country girls That carry the milking pail Will take a touch and not think much To sing so merrily My ale was tunn'd when I was young A little above my knee You're welcome all brave gentlemen, If you please to come in, To take a cup I do intend, And a health for to begin: To all the merry jovial blades, That will sing for company, My ale was tunn'd when I was young, A little above my knee. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Severn Date: 02 Mar 10 - 12:08 PM Gnu and Amos cling fearfully to the corridor walls and both of their minds simultaneously flash to visions of Dr. Seuss' "And To Think That I Saw It On Mulberry Street".... Once again the humor goes from deadpan to bedpan. The bedpans and that bumbling incompetent Native American orderly Running Sore fly up in the air and when he lands, the old-style porcelain enamel bedpans fall back down on him one by one. That's not to say, though, that the whole parade itself didn't get rained on a bit. Still the mad procession continues to barrel down the hall towards the Radiology Department with VT in the lead.... Drs. Howard, Fine and Howard, on their way to do brain surgery, are forced to scramble out of the way, making their usual noises in the process. VT, the way I was told how to get "legless" was to go into a UK cider pub and drink the stuff down fast like beer.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 02 Mar 10 - 08:32 AM Chaos. Pure chaos. TAM! Watch out for those bedpans. They're full!!!!! CRASHH! BANG! SPLAT! SPLOSH! nevermind |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Severn Date: 02 Mar 10 - 07:27 AM The question of Nurse Mary Ellen's ability to fold does not realy bother us. It's the rest of the staff's propensity to spindle and mutilate that tends to scare the living daylights out of us!...... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: freda underhill Date: 02 Mar 10 - 06:17 AM Nurse Cauterize may be available and ready, but can she do hospital folds? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Severn Date: 02 Mar 10 - 05:23 AM An armless InterVenus DeMilo, who must be back hat-in-teeth to re-apply for her old job again, just couldn't resist the fun and, upon stumbling upon VT's legs, which had gotten loose and were stumbling on their own, puts them both on and starts galloping after on all- fours, whinnying like a mare. Now THAT'S more in the spirit of the Nurse DeMilo that I remembered! Severn, hitching up Seamus to a rolling gurney and yelling, "On, Yukon King!" like that TV Mountie of his youth, Sgt. Preston, used to do, goes chasing after InterVenus. Nurse Cauterize, with a tray of pain pills that Severn obviously doesn't need at the moment chases after on foot. Up ahead, VT is drag racing a legless frog on a skateboard with a Col. Harlan Sanders goatee and wearing a "Tastes Kinda Like Chicken" T-shirt, who materialized out of God knows where--most likely the kitchen. Wincingdevil, dressed up like Cecil B. DeMille, is getting it all down on film. (As always, Vince will take pictures of ANYTHING!) Who needs the Olympics or Ben Hur, anyway?..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: VirginiaTam Date: 01 Mar 10 - 05:53 PM whoooooshhhhh........ WHHEEEEEEEE....... GET OUT THE WAY! mop head wallops Gnu and Amos around the legs... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: gnu Date: 01 Mar 10 - 04:22 PM B-complex... ain`ch complex enough alreadyÉ Arrrggghhhh... keyboard is messed up againÉÉÉ Ahyup. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Amos Date: 01 Mar 10 - 04:12 PM Aside from seeing a chiro for various random aches, I am not in need of therapeutic aid in the bones andmeat department. However I have NOT yet recovered from the Mudcat, and am of the opinion it is having a cumulative deleterious effect on my relative coherence and alleged sanity. Maybe a B-complex drip would help.... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: VirginiaTam Date: 01 Mar 10 - 04:06 PM Damn! I was gonna put em in the freezer, cuz cold usually helps numb the pain. Hmmmm! I'll just put them in prosthetics closet. Oh Look! A tea trolley and a string mop. WHEEEEEEEE! Punting down the corridor is fun. LOOK OUT.... Legless lady coming though! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 01 Mar 10 - 04:00 PM mine aren't quite so band, but I do have an appointment with my physio in 40 mins, arranged late yesterday. Life's difficult when even sitting & laying down hurt more than normal! sandra |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 01 Mar 10 - 03:58 PM Drop them off at Receiving and help yourself to a wheelchair or crutches - your choice. WAIT! That's the door to the kitchen. DO NOT LEAVE YOUR LEGS IN THE KITCHEN!!!!! Dharmabum, Take the Teal Room. A candy striper will be in momentarily with coffee and tea cakes as well as a thorazine drip. ring that little buzzer if you require anything else. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: VirginiaTam Date: 01 Mar 10 - 03:40 PM Can I just leave my legs in here? The rest of me is OK apart from being a bit tired. But the legs are in screaming agony. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 01 Mar 10 - 02:43 PM Ratched to Sev: Are you regular? Sev: Yup. Every morning at 7AM like clockwork. Ratched: Good! Sev: Not really. I wake up at 8... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Severn Date: 01 Mar 10 - 12:45 PM Hey! Someone we haven't seen for a while has come back to be head nurse of the Burn Ward. We have Mary Ellen Cauterize again! There's someone who's been lost to our knowledge for some time! She certainly caught MY eye again, but I'll have to see what frame of mind she's in these days. Too bad I don't have the Benz anymore..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 27 Feb 10 - 09:06 PM funny 'bout that Sev. I have a birthday this week, as it happens. but no soup, thanks. N.R. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Severn Date: 27 Feb 10 - 08:31 PM Dat's definitely a no-no, nein-nein! Plastic sheets for 999, the kind that buzz in case of emergency that they trained kids with. Or at the very least, a plastic bottle. Nurse Ratched gets pissed off when things get pissed on, this side of a Golden Shower, and I don't think anybody's throwing her a 50th An-adversity Party any time soon. With NR, urine trouble means you're in trouble, if you get my incontinental drift. She's one of those who feels that when fate deals you leaks, you make soup..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: GUEST,999 Date: 27 Feb 10 - 06:17 PM I have to pee about seven times per night and I count myself fortunate when I get out of bed for six of them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 27 Feb 10 - 05:47 PM Like, WAAAAYYY too much info!!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Dharmabum Date: 27 Feb 10 - 09:16 AM Hey Sins, I don't know about my kid,but I could sure use a little T.L.C. and thorazine! Mind if I come in? Oh,and don't worry about those bedpans,I'll be needing them soon enough. DB. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 26 Feb 10 - 03:22 PM Heads up all. Dharmabum's daughter Shalisa may be paying us a visit and I don't want this place looking like a dump. Who's on bedpans today? Empty Kendall's room. He's home now so we can free it up for Shalisa. Close the door to the Tavern. I don't want any drunken sots wandering in here singing Danny Boy. OK - gnu, fresh towels and linens, mop the floor, reset the dingle-dangles and keep an eye out for ratched. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: gnu Date: 25 Feb 10 - 03:17 PM I hear ya Liz. Life sucks and then ya die. Recover? Sometimes, I don't wanna. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 24 Feb 10 - 04:12 PM Oh look! She dropped a $50 bill right next to Liz's IV. Must be your lucky day, Liz. Don't spend it all in one place. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 24 Feb 10 - 03:49 PM SINSULL raises her magic wand and WHIIIISH!m All gone, Liz. Now rest while i adjust your prescription - three shots gin to one part tonic. There! That should do it. Nurse ratched, The Radiology Man just went down to the basement to pick up a cathode tube. If you hurry, you can catch him. QUICK! Shut the door and lock it! Silly old cow. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 24 Feb 10 - 03:40 PM Buggerit... IV G&T and not too much of the bloody T.... Crap day from hell, am dog tired but can't sleep. I want it all to go away now. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: gnu Date: 23 Feb 10 - 04:09 PM Is NR an RN? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Donuel Date: 23 Feb 10 - 08:55 AM This thread really puts distress in perspective. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 23 Feb 10 - 07:13 AM Sinsull, Underhill, wimps, both of you. These low-down, pyjama-wearing, pillpopping pseuds need some pulling into line. Let me teach you a thing or severn about hospital ways. Where's my man from Radiology when I need him? He can see through the smartest charades, right through to the bones, apart from racking off with that InterVenus DeMilo - who looks suspiciously like LtS. Let me get my hands on that burnt piece of seafood and take him to the dissection room. Whether its a message or massage, there'll be messes. I do them both the Chinese way - whispers, and chops. A little pummeling'll bring these wimps, all of them, back to reality. .... MY reality.... heh heh heh ......... N.R. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: freda underhill Date: 23 Feb 10 - 06:58 AM yep. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: SINSULL Date: 22 Feb 10 - 11:27 AM Great info/horrible stuff. Sev, Are you amazed at how strong you are? Not everyone would come through all that crap and still be able to joke. You are an inspiration to people who really need a role model and for those of us who only sit and wait. SINS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: gnu Date: 21 Feb 10 - 05:26 PM My post is gone? And another post from someone else? Sev... thanks for the info. Great stuff. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 21 Feb 10 - 04:54 PM Been away, for therapy and a good time... it was very theraputic but it nearly did for me last night... it really is possible to die, laughing! Finally got a consultation with a cardiac specialist next Thursday. I'm officially back at work as of Tuesday, so it could be an interesting week. Watch this space and hand me something tall, dark and cool. Hugh Jackman should do it. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: Desert Dancer Date: 21 Feb 10 - 02:07 PM Just lying here plastered. Went to bed plastered for the past three nights. Feeling much better as a result. (the reason) ~ Becky in Long Beach |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward 2010 From: freda underhill Date: 21 Feb 10 - 05:37 AM I read your post yestarday Severn and felt how lucky we are you're still around, and what a hell of a time you've been through. It's such a tough road, and only someone who's been through it can tell it like it is. Lilyfestre - good luck in your journey, chemo is so heavy but a wise choice. I popped in again tonight - no further comments. Is everyone out partying? or has that ratched wiped out the ward? hope you're all ok. freda |
