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Subject: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Feb 04 - 05:34 PM I thought we needed somewhere a bit more private to show off our scars and compare nurses. Hang a bag of gin up on the old IV there and have a look at this beaut - got it in the Mile End road a few years back..... lovely bit of stitching! Now then, who else has been poorly and wants a bit of TLC? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Gareth Date: 03 Feb 04 - 06:40 PM I take it Liz, you will survive ? Gareth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Joybell Date: 03 Feb 04 - 06:52 PM Not poorly but willing to listen because I might be some day. Hope it goes on improving for you Liz. Joy |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: open mike Date: 03 Feb 04 - 07:12 PM liz-i am glad you are feeling well enough to construct a whole ward! I hope Kendall will be up to joining you here soon! Perahps Allan has some flowers he can share? {[(OFFICIAL HUG THERAPY SESSION IN PROGRESS!!)]} |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 03 Feb 04 - 07:20 PM I'm feeling better now - the sceptemia (mild case fortunately!) from the infected tooth now seems ok - just the creaky joints, and that's not fatal - so I look like the one best able to get up and make the tea... Robin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Sttaw Legend Date: 03 Feb 04 - 07:32 PM I've got a bone in my foot and a pain in the neck. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Leadfingers Date: 03 Feb 04 - 07:47 PM I AM a pain in the neck! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: SINSULL Date: 03 Feb 04 - 10:35 PM Well I am still nursing a faulty boob. No scars but some interesting lumps and ropes. Looks a bit like a topological map. Hot compresses help. Still haven't acquired a cabbage leaf. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 03 Feb 04 - 11:27 PM We're a bunch of old crocks in here! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 03 Feb 04 - 11:41 PM All this time and no cabbage? It is a wonder drug--any time I had to use it it worked within a few hours. And you've waited days! Get on the internet and have Albertson's deliver you a head! :) Take care, all! I'm not limping enough any more to claim a place in the ward. My bunionectomy (what a silly sounding surgery, eh?) is almost completely healed, just a little stiff. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rustic Rebel Date: 04 Feb 04 - 01:33 AM Stilly, I'm glad you said that. Come on Sin get yourself a head of cabbage, 29cents a pound, place leaf on boob and feel relief. You into pain or what? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Sorcha Date: 04 Feb 04 - 01:33 AM Right hip sciatica kicking up here, and they want me to fiddle on the roof! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rustic Rebel Date: 04 Feb 04 - 02:04 AM I've heard that fiddling on the roof is good therapy for sciatica. Unless you fall off. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Teresa Date: 04 Feb 04 - 02:53 AM What Joybell said. :) Ah, need to gain access to some of those handy herb books. And music, music music! That is a healer for sure! And friends who also enjoy music. :D Teresa |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Micca Date: 04 Feb 04 - 02:55 AM Wheres MudGuard?? He managed to disable one of his fingers and most of a Hand at Belfast airport in an accident that did NOT involve the "vile black stuff" and you can tell which of his fingers by the outbreak of UmLauts (in fact, I think he is an Um Lout!!) and the Munich8s as well. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Feb 04 - 03:03 AM Has the drug trolley been round yet? Those little white ones are very good when combined with the IV of gin..... Best painkiller though, is good company. Roll those trolleys over here and share my IV..... Nurse, the screens! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Geoff the Duck Date: 04 Feb 04 - 04:48 AM Hey Liz - pass me an IV of gin as well. I only came to bring flowers, but it sounds too good to miss..... Hey Nurse, why are you looking at me ilke that? and just WHERE do you think you are going to put that cocktail umbrella and slice of lemon??? QUAAAACKKK!!!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 04 Feb 04 - 05:16 AM Can I book a place for myself...preferably near the drugs trolley on the recovery ward in 4 weeks time?!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Fibula Mattock Date: 04 Feb 04 - 05:49 AM Can I join you guys? I'm undergoing tests to find out what's wrong with my kidneys - I got to pee radioactive last week! When does the drinks trolley come round? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Micca Date: 04 Feb 04 - 06:33 AM Fibs It is Cat (Moggy type)pee thats supposed to glow under UV Not yours!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Fibula Mattock Date: 04 Feb 04 - 06:47 AM Really? Cat pee glows? I never knew that! Micca, you are a source of wonderous trivia. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Geoff the Duck Date: 04 Feb 04 - 06:50 AM That he is - now all we need to do is stop him drinking it... Quack!} GtD. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:03 AM Does this ward supply hangover cures - or the means of aquiring one ? Are Friends of Mudcat going to set up a tea trolley and supply grapes ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:03 AM Micca, it is not a big difference between "cat" and "Kate" anyway, so let Fibula have her own glowing pee! Fibula, you should stop drinking if you at your youthful age have managed to destroy your liver and are working on the kidney already... ;-) ;-) ;-) Btw, I think I get thrown out of this here ward soon, I can use my finger almost completely again, no splint on it any longer (except when cycling) - and therefore no problem any longer with hitting l and o and p keys on the keyboard (it was the splint that actually hit the ö, not me!). The only liquid involved in my accident was rain water on polished stone... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Fibula Mattock Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:07 AM Andy, last year a Loughstock attendee was carted off in an ambulance, so I think you got off lightly! I hope the injury doesn't harm your jam making skills. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:09 AM So you like the jam, Fib/Kate? No, the finger is almost ok again, no permanent damage! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Geoff the Duck Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:39 AM Friends of Mudcat only supply grapes after they have been trodden, fermented and bottled... Quack! GtD. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: JudeL Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:52 AM who got carted off from portaferry by ambulance last year? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: SINSULL Date: 04 Feb 04 - 09:05 AM Some grapes are peeled by request by Dani. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 04 Feb 04 - 09:22 AM 1. Left shoulder: bad tendinitis, for which I do exercise and take little green capsules. 2. Yesterday I was diagnosed as "insulin resistant" (i.e., a bit of Type II diabetes). I will be starting little white pills called "glucophage" (only the generic equivalent). Gee -- this is since the first of the year! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 04 Feb 04 - 09:30 AM Speaking of Portaferry - in Belfast Airport catsPHiddle, Micca, Leadfingers and me were waiting for the plane when Micca said we are a bunch of handicapped: cats on crutches, Micca with a bad knee, me with a swollen finger - and Leadfingers a Banjo player ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 04 Feb 04 - 09:38 AM May I claim a bed......migraine came back last night....that's a total of 6 weeks, on and off but mostly on.....is this a record? Pixie also failed her recent blood tests.....apparently she didn't study hard enough, we are hoping she is only aneamic and nothing more sinister. Sod the IV, just pass me the gin bottle and an ice bag ( for the gin, not my headache, the headache just sniggers at an ice pack). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 Feb 04 - 10:07 AM I tried to send you all a message via the "Mudcat Recovery Ward Greeting Site" - but they said no personal, obscene or confidential information should be included - which left me with nothing to say... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 04 Feb 04 - 10:33 AM The rest of us will recover,Andreas, but there is no hope for Leadfingers..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 04 Feb 04 - 10:36 AM Had a hysterectomy December 11 and have the scar to prove it. Three weeks later developed an allergy to cashew nuts of all things and looked like I had a nasty case of sunburn for a while. Then got a cold whichwent to the throat and stopped me talking and singing (some would say that's a mercy!) and on February 24 I go in for a bunionectomy - if they've got a bed for me! Does this qualify me for the recovery ward? I'd rather have white wine than gin and one of those lovely male nurses to tuck me in at night. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Feb 04 - 12:08 PM Jacqui, when I returned home from my bunionectomy the doctor sent a stupid plastic little bedpan and recommended using it. Hell, no! He told me I could put my foot on the floor exactly six times a day for no more than five minutes at a time. That was enough trips to the bathroom to ban the bedpan from the house! SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 04 Feb 04 - 12:27 PM Rapaire, I've been on glucophage for some time. It does help with the insulin resistance. My Doc added cozaar to "protect my kidneys," even though there's nothing wrong with them. I hope you have been forewarned about the main side effect ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Fibula Mattock Date: 04 Feb 04 - 01:10 PM Jude - the ambulance last year was for my uncle with his very bad back. Great jam, Andy! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 04 Feb 04 - 01:12 PM Glad you like it, Fib! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 04 Feb 04 - 02:31 PM Yeah, MAG, I have. I'm only to take the stuff with food. And only one per day for the first week, and then two per day, alla time with food. If that side effect shows up I'm supposed to stop taking them. I haven't started yet, mostly 'cause I'm chicken. Come to Idaho, fall apart.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:34 PM Well, seems like we're all a bunch of crips! I just hope that daffodil is going into a vase and isn't for taking a temperature (you have to have seen 'Carry on Nurse' for that joke to have any effect)! I escaped to work today.... shan't do that again for a while. Oi, Morty, it's my turn with the ice pack - this gin's gone warm. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 04 Feb 04 - 07:50 PM It wouldn't go warm if you weren't holding it on your bruises.....no, it's okay thanks...I don't want it back. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: pixieofdoom Date: 04 Feb 04 - 08:04 PM Can I just have a gin pack? I'd be as happy with a six pack too though |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Feb 04 - 08:05 PM Who needs a six pack when you can have a whole barrel..... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 04 Feb 04 - 11:53 PM OK, as long as this is a legitimate pity pot party, I've had this stupid cold (throat, cough, pflegm) since Tuesday last week. I'm wanked out on the OTC stuff and will finally break down tomorrow and call the doc to see if a throat culture is advisable. we have open mike Saturday; argh! I have to be able to sing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Grim Reaper Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:10 AM Better the Mudcat Recovery Ward than the Mudcat Morgue. "May ye be half way ta heaven afore the devil knows yer dead" Get Well Soon mites, you are the cream of the crop (though a bit aged). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Sorcha Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:49 AM i saw my Chiropractor today, back and neck feel MUCH better. Thank you. I'll take the Drinks trolley now....bear, please. My right leg says it might just survive with enough bear. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Micca Date: 05 Feb 04 - 04:55 AM MAG did you REALLY mean to say this???? "I'm wanked out on the OTC stuff "or did you mean Whacked out ?? cf UK to US translator, It made I laugh it did |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 05 Feb 04 - 08:53 AM 'oo are you callin' a bit aged? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 05 Feb 04 - 09:04 AM Well my feet smell and my nose runs, which must mean I'm upside down. So if you can hook the IV up to an enema tube I'll join you. I don't want the bed nearest the door, as this is where they put all the old men who were dying when I was in hospital last. Some days I could kill for a large dose of Largactyl, just think of the rest it would give me. Move over nurse!! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Tinker Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:03 AM Ohhh, if I promise to help can I stay long enough to look for a little quiet. Nothing really bad my way, just an unending stream of minor issues divided amonst four kids.... Yesterday we added a fracured growth plate in the 15 year old's wrist when he fell on the ice. We've had six cases of bronchitis, four ear infections, a badly sprained ankle, two sinus infections, the usual asthma/allergies and now this since December 1st. So can the nurse just sit for a while and unprofessionally sip a few too ????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:09 AM spit on the mat and call the cat a bastard! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Grim Reaper Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:33 AM Morticia, Now young lady, I would not call you aged, but with a name like yours are you sure you are a'workin' in the right ward!? (Recovery vs. Morgue) *BG* You are a GEM in anybodies (now body hear don't mean dead) book! You have one of my favorite Mudcat nicknames, and there are many. Grim |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 05 Feb 04 - 11:08 AM Right then, Largactyl and Gin all round with a side order of amytriptiline, not so much a Boiler Maker as a Meet your Maker. Grim, you are entirely forgiven for calling me aged although when I thought about it "Gem" just means I'm sharp and shiny and expensive......hmmm, not a bad description at that *G*. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 05 Feb 04 - 11:11 AM I urgently need a breast transplantation! Can someone please transplant a bit of Redbreast Irish Whiskey into my mouth? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:03 PM German measlies eh? Right. Here goes. Bubonic Plague? I dream of having Bubonic Plague. Last New Yrs Eve had gall bladder out, home within two days. 25 days later went in again as emergency case. Had appendix + bits of superating bowel whipped out. Last month had awful pains in gut. Things were moving in there, reminiscent of "Aliens". Diagnosed as Post Operative Hernia. Put on six month waiting list for another op to correct it. Pains still bad. Saw Consultant Surgeon. Now on waiting list for remedial appliance (thats "corset" to you) I smoke too much & therefore have shortness of breath, compounded by injury received to spleen stopping lung from fully expanding. I can't bend far enough to cut my toe nails, so they hurt, too. My knees are shot from self abuse when younger and even more foolish, while going all out doing Karate. I also have a cold. You tell that to the kids of today, they just don't know they're born! (I dont even come from Yorkshire!)(Python sketch) O.K. I'll have the bloody bed near the door. It wont be so far to nip out for a quick one. (fag, that is, scotching any untoward comments) (Removes huge sign over bed saying "NIL BY MOUTH" and replaces with "ANY DAMN THING HE LIKES") ....................................Gin? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:07 PM N.H.S. That's pronounced "Nuuuuuuhhhhhhhhhhrrrrrrrrssse!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 05 Feb 04 - 12:21 PM Enters carrying large (and I do mean LARGE) hypodermic. "Which one was complaining about the food, nurse?" (Be afraid. Be very afraid, heh heh.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Feb 04 - 05:49 PM Grim Reaper - I've told you, I won't go out with you, you only want me for my body. Tinker - that child must be really fed up by now.... hope all settles down soon, and yes, this is a genuine whinge-fest, so don't worry. We will take the p*ss but some of us do actually care. Morty - sorry love, but not all gems are shiny and expensive. But all are pretty (tries hastily to redeem self...) Mudguard - Never pictured you as a breast man, but having a breast transplanted into your mouth will at least give people something to talk about. I'm a rather fetching shade of yellow and purple today. Sort of aubergine really.... it's been a real rainbow trip, watching my bruises! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:02 PM Liz, just in case you don't know it, here is a picture of the breast I am talking about |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:17 PM Mudguard - it's alcholic, how could I possibly NOT know about it! ; ] LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:23 PM Because it is a not very widely known brand of Whiskey? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:38 PM Mudguard, I have TWO of those breasts! At home, on the counter.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 05 Feb 04 - 06:41 PM I only have one and a half... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Leadfingers Date: 05 Feb 04 - 09:11 PM And all I have to worry about is the stack of banjo cases (all full) in the corner of the lounge. And any of that Redbreast can be piped this way ANY time you like. Not having been Overnight in Hospital since 1970 ( Oh Gawd - Thats pushing my luck) All I can do is sympathise. And Morty , You can shine in my pallid existence any time you like you sweet young thing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,.gargoyle Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:09 PM Ass-Up That's the way we like to FUCK Jo-Mamma, Jo-Mamma, Jo Mamma says you are ugly!!!
Sincerely,
Sincrely sorry all those ...who cannot hold your own within the circle.......but delighted that thee little belly-stability" will now discarde and let the rest share a keg of our own!
Sincerely, |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jimmyt Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:14 PM You folks are a sorry bunch but I will fake an illness just to hang out with you here in thie godforsaken ward................nurse GIN????????????????????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,.garoyleq Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:25 PM Nurse....please may mine be the same as "jimmy t's" order
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Tinker Date: 05 Feb 04 - 10:29 PM Hey look ladies, we can have our own fun. And Morti, scroll down to the scond item, my favorite now comes in chocolates What more could a woman ask for??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 05 Feb 04 - 11:12 PM Sorry, Micca; I guess I misunderstood that slang from across the pond. Strep test was negative; my doc gave me this lovely robitussinC cough syrup -- C for codeine, in case you don't know. Cough is gone, and I will be able to sing Saturday night. Between the vioxx for my arthritis, the trazodone for insomnia, and now this, I am truly feeling little pain at the moment. Since it's virtual booze, I'll have a snifter of my fave cognac, and I have never sipped from the bottle so you may share. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:39 AM Sean Connery or Hugh Jackman to come round with the bed baths? Failing that, the chocolate will do! Jimmy - you have a medical qualification don't you? That gives you every right to come and help with the bedbaths. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:45 AM I did the Australian Sports Medicine Federation Sports Trainer Level II Certification many years ago, but I'm not qualified to hold a candle to you... But I did do the Advanced Resusatation Certificate on the RM head and OxyViva... A little oxygen will clear that headache, but extinguish all cigarettes first please! Robin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:50 AM Ah but Fooles, you haven't seen Jimmy's "qualifications" have you?! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:54 AM I'm glad I'm not walking round in a hospital gown! Robin |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:55 AM ...and I'll be very careful to drop nothing then.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 04:57 AM OOh, St Barts have a new design gown that does up at the back of the neck and the left hip, so now there is very little risk of a southern exposure! And it's much easier to tie up alone or one handed. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 06 Feb 04 - 05:03 AM Tinker, send me your address, I just have to get you some of those chocolates! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 06 Feb 04 - 07:47 AM I had the pleasure of wearing one of those lovely gowns this morning as I was rushed into hospital after falling down the stairs (sober before anyone implies I may have been drunk!) and dislocating my knee again. I have spent 4 hours having my leg manipulated to get it back into place and am now sporting a rather fetching full leg splint! They wanted to keep me in over night but as my operation is so close they decided not to! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 06 Feb 04 - 08:02 AM Oh dear, cat! I imply that the problem might have been that you were not drunk at the time of the accident?! ;-) I hope there is no pain involved! Is the full leg splint by the same (color blind) designer as the tights you wore at Portaferry? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 09:35 AM Hook up the IV gin again, that'll take the pain away! Which was worst, the pain or the embarassment? I find it's usually about equal! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Allan C. Date: 06 Feb 04 - 10:18 AM I am disgustingly healthy; but as a member of the USO, (Unorganized Salubrious Obnoxiousness,) it is my duty to pop in to wards like these and to be revoltingly cheerful. I will bubble my way through the ward, repeating my mantra over and over: "Hi. What's your name?" "Have you been here long?" "Oh, that's too bad!" "Is there anyone back in Mudcatland you'd like me to say 'Hi' to? "Well, so long." I am not sure how the mantra does its magic; but all of the patients seem to be happy when I leave. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Mooh Date: 06 Feb 04 - 10:50 AM "I think I'm loosing my marbles, The doctor tells me I ain't got too much time. I think I'm loosing my marbles, He gives me pills to ease my worried mind." (Mainline) The friendly neighbourhood chiropractor has kept me able for almost 20 years, even my GP thinks so. Put my back out while trying to pick up my marbles. I know I never retrieved them all 'cause I often confuse chiropractor with choir practice on my calendar and go to the wrong place. Also gots me a wonky knee and a Frankenstein toe which gives me phantom pains. Otherwise I'm fat and happy. Peace, Mooh. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST Date: 06 Feb 04 - 10:52 AM all of the patients seem to be happy when I leave I strongly suspect that the Mudcat Recovey Ward would be an exception to this circumstance Allan - they would NOT be happy to see you leave, though I am VERY sure they would all be happy to see you show up! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 06 Feb 04 - 12:08 PM Anybody ever read "Gabriel comes to 24" by Russel Braddon? I would describe a required reading for the inmates of this particular Mudcat ward for the terminally decrepit. John |
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Subject: A Backdoor to the Mudcat Tavern From: Stilly River Sage Date: 06 Feb 04 - 03:11 PM Over there in the corner of the ward, is that a door leading into the Mudcat Tavern? Is that where all of this booze came from? I wonder if there are any frozen leftovers from the holiday bash. . . ugg! It's the Tavern all right, but it ends up in the hall coat closet. Careful, don't trip on the shoes and boots (left behind by forgetful hot tub users?) as you pass through. I wonder if the hot tub is on? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: lady penelope Date: 06 Feb 04 - 07:23 PM Any minute now Stilly will be on about a wardrobe and walking into a winter landscape etc. if you get me drift. I'm crawling in here with a chest infection. But have forsaken the Gin for Vodka martinis. Hey Liz & Cat,they sound like groovey gowns.... TTFN Lady P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Amos Date: 06 Feb 04 - 07:25 PM Alan C; Just remember that good health is just a guarantee you'll end up dying of nothing at all! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 Feb 04 - 07:37 PM Living healthily just means dying in better condition! Yes, the recovery ward is an offshoot (sort of East Wing, where the cousin with the extra toes is walled up) of the Tavern, but with beds instead of benches, hydrotherapy pools instead of hot tubs and hot and cold running bed pans. Nurse, the screens again! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: JennyO Date: 06 Feb 04 - 09:08 PM .....or as Les Barker said, good health is just a slower way to die... Can I come in? I have neuralgia pains on the side of my face from wearing new glasses that don't fit properly. I could do with an adjustment - that gin there will do nicely. Good for the mouth ulcers too, and my sore back. I expect Kendall might be in soon, now that he's out of that hospital. Jenny |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 06 Feb 04 - 11:12 PM Lady Penelope, can I offer you some Turkish Delight? Liz, it's easier to stay put than keep crawling through the closet. And the delivery of liquid refreshments is reliable. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 07 Feb 04 - 06:56 AM Why do those nurses always wake me up to give me a sleeping pill? This being a mixed ward, and purely because bed space is limited, I have magnanimously agreed to share with Liz. I have also tucked Jimmyt in & kissed him goodnight. That way he will be watching me all night and won't get a wink of sleep. Has Giok (I won't bother to spell out his new full name because otherwise it would take up too much room and space IS limited) come in for a Bagpipectomy? If he has, may I suggest that keyhole surgery is not the way to go. Far better to remove it the way it came in. No exit wounds or scars to worry about, tho he may walk funny for a few weeks! Chins up, tongues out. Here comes the gin dispencer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 07 Feb 04 - 07:06 AM No, DH. Space is NOT limited. The reason so many patients are in the corridor is because the bloody doors are made by the same firm that built the Chatroom. So your kind offer to share is rejected on sanitary grounds. Who would want to share with a purple clad, smelly footed, nose pickin' shantyman like YOU? How the delectable Kay puts up with you is totally beyond me. Liz, do not get all excited when jimmyt asks you to "open wide". He is a dentist, for petes sake! That will be a further 600 dollars. NEXT! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 07 Feb 04 - 07:16 AM It has been unanimously agreed by my team that Gioks bagpipectomy will not be performed in the manner that DH suggested. He has unfortunately got genetically inherited restrictions of his anal passage, somewhat common amongst his race. He is, in other words, a tight arse!!! The guy that came in with the shakey egg will be subject to that proceedure, and, may I add, without anesthetic! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 07 Feb 04 - 08:24 AM I prefer the Cauld Wind pipes, and thought that Doctor Will did too. Why else would his elbow be going up and down in that manner?? Perhaps he's having a Pibroch! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 07 Feb 04 - 08:38 AM I dinna hae Cauld Wind pipes. I haed 'em lagged fae the winter. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MMario Date: 07 Feb 04 - 09:30 AM Is this ward part of NYCFTTS? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 07 Feb 04 - 10:42 AM Oh, dear God, the pain! The pain! And the diarrhea! The diarrhea! I must be recovering, 'cause before I was flat-out dead. Someone gave me "the kiss of life". Who? I think I'm in lust with them. No, wait, they had a beard, so I'd only like to shake their hand. Oh, the pain! That beard burn! And the diarrhea! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Amos Date: 07 Feb 04 - 11:23 AM I am recovering from an overdose of Shiraz -- Eastern Australian Yellowtail, to be precise -- it seemed endlessly helpful, but it appears I misestimated. How many aspirin can you take before your blood turns to water? Oh, dear, I hope I didn't say anything too foolish! Not bloody likely though. A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Geoff the Duck Date: 07 Feb 04 - 12:08 PM Eastern Australian Yellowtail - I think they developed a vaccine for that last Octember or Septober. Look up the special edition of The Lance-It for details. Quack! GtD. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 07 Feb 04 - 07:09 PM Sorry Rap, thought it was a bed pan. But I agree about the beard burn.. this stubble rash is the last straw! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: dianavan Date: 07 Feb 04 - 08:54 PM I feel a bit foolish asking for sympathy when I haven't given any of you the least little expression of concern. Ow, ow, ow - I feel a bit nauseous. What do I do? Was out moving the rhubarb to a new spot in the garden. It was too heavy so I decided to drag it, turn it and lift it at the same time. When I gave it the last heave-ho, I heard something pop (a rib?) on my left side. It only hurts when I breathe. Should I go to the doctor or is their a home remedy? d |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 07 Feb 04 - 09:26 PM Rapaire, I warned you ... Dianavan, when I ruptured a disc 30+ years ago, the only thing that helped was a good chiropractor. Do not construe this as medical advice; just what worked for me. Getting it worked on sooner rather than later will prevent more damage to your frame. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 Feb 04 - 11:08 PM That's about the worst combination you can come up with, dianavan. Twisting and lifting is dangerous. For me, lifting while reaching pretty much guarantees something is going to hurt for a few days. Since you heard something "pop" you might want to go in to the dr. before it gets worse. SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 08 Feb 04 - 04:27 AM Go to the Docs Dianavan, and then sidle on over here to a bed where we can hook you up with IV alcohol of your choice and then you can select who gets to give you a bedbath. Take care of it now, don't wait till it's worse. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 08 Feb 04 - 05:43 AM Well if it only hurts when you breathe, the answer is obvious;-) John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 08 Feb 04 - 10:26 AM Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. Go to the doctor. The pop might be nothing, but I'll bet you broke a rib. (Gee, I wish I could work in the garden. Only right now I'd need a snowplow.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 08 Feb 04 - 06:37 PM Lifting and twisting to move a box, a heavy box, that was overhead led to a problem with my left shoulder. In November I aggravated it and now I'm on Feldene and exercise for a badly inflamed rotator cuff (I thought it was torn). That, plus the insulin resistance, plus the two surgeries I had while living in Kentucky...leave Indiana and fall apart. MAG, that side effect isn't really here yet. I await it with bated breath. That and lactosis. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 08 Feb 04 - 06:56 PM I know the feeling Rap... I'd never spent a night in hospital til I moved to London.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 09 Feb 04 - 06:52 AM Do not trust Geoff the Duck's medical qualifications - he's a QUACK. I got my First Aid badge in the scouts - does that qualify me to give bed-baths to the ladies ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 09 Feb 04 - 07:13 AM as long as the water and your hands are warm Dave! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 09 Feb 04 - 11:15 AM I'm nice and warm all over Khat - Just ask Linda. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Geoff the Duck Date: 09 Feb 04 - 11:40 AM QUACK? Moi? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 09 Feb 04 - 12:10 PM I had merit badges in both First Aid AND Soil & Water Conservation. Also Firemanship. Am I qualified too? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Grim Reaper Date: 09 Feb 04 - 12:37 PM Rapaire, you caint bath the ladies cuz of that fireman designashion. doncha remember the George straight song the Fireman. He starts flames then puts em out, I think. We canit hav no flamin' horsepital beds, now kan we's? Leave the flamin to me after I takes um down below after theys leave the morgue... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 Feb 04 - 01:28 PM I've got an Orienteering Badge. Does that mean I qualify for the large ladies? "He had to make a chalk mark, to show where he'd left off" John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Fibula Mattock Date: 09 Feb 04 - 03:52 PM Well folks, looks like I'm in a bit longer - my kidney x-rays were clear, but I'm still pissing blood (yeah... thanks for sharing...) so I'm being shunted off onto another waiting list to see another consultant. Still, the kidneys need to be kept working, and I expect that peeing is good for them, and beer makes you pee, so I'll have a glass of Leffe and a packet of peanuts please. What? No Leffe on the NHS? Ah, make it a Guinness then, I've heard it's good for you. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 09 Feb 04 - 05:26 PM Oh Fib, take care and drink lots of cranberry juice. I'm sticking to the Cropmaster myself, organic you know, so it has to be good for you. Sling another IV up and we'll mix cocktails in the specimen bottles! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 09 Feb 04 - 05:31 PM Or eat cranberry jam ;-) Ok, at least they found kidneys... Maybe you could become a blood donator? Much easier to do it without putting a needle in your arm ;-) I hope the cause for the blood in the pee will be found soon - and can be removed! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 Feb 04 - 05:58 PM Fibs dear, I'm so sorry to hear about your travails. If it's any comfort, I had a urine test that detected blood, but when they'd done shoving a camera up the old fella, they found bugger all. So fear not fair maiden, quote O'Carolan at them, just mention Mudguard's friend Fanny power. Slainthe....John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 09 Feb 04 - 06:12 PM "...organic you know, so it has to be good for you." LtS, heroin is too. So's, ahem, manure. So's pond scum. So're slugs. I ain't gonna ingest any of them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: dianavan Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:31 AM Oh, oh. Went to the dr. about the pop in my rib cage. No broken bones but...ick...a sprain. Apparently the lower rib connects to the muscle. The joint is of cartilage like material. I sprained the joint! He gave me a big long name for it. Of course I do not remember. No cure. Just 6-8 weeks of pain. Should I see another physician or just have another glass of wine? Since I can only sleep on my back, I think I should be admitted to the ward. Blood in the kidneys? I had a stone once that caused the same thing. Drink lots of water. I mean lots. As much as you can possible drink as often as possible. It might pass in your urine and then you will be fine. Good luck! The hyacinth and bluebells are poking out of the ground. The Forsythia is budding. Yes, I actually got that rhubarb lifted! Don't rush it though and remember to do your stretches before gardening! d d |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 10 Feb 04 - 10:09 AM Fib. Peanuts in bed? So long as you are careful, and NO flickin' 'em round the ward, hear! Giok. I aint in the least surprised that they found nowt up the ol' pecker. Same result with the brain scan? Can of Tartan on its way, via the nurse with the short skirt & long black nylon covered legs. For those of you with notepads under the covers, I took this piccy of jOhn from Ull's workstation while he was down the curry ship. http://www.pianoladynancy.com/funnypics_toons/addict.htm |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 10 Feb 04 - 12:53 PM Bet I know how the hamster disappeared! Dr, that is a very naughty pic. Rapaire - you've eaten my mother's cooking then! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 10 Feb 04 - 01:14 PM If we collect all the hamsters and sort them according to size/squeak, we could have a hamster jam session. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 10 Feb 04 - 03:43 PM Tulips from Hamster Jam! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Allan C. Date: 10 Feb 04 - 04:36 PM They tell me that Hamster Jam is very much like Marmite. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,MMario Date: 10 Feb 04 - 04:38 PM only hairyer! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 10 Feb 04 - 06:23 PM I'd thought it would've been nuttier in flavour..... all those sunflower seeds you know. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 10 Feb 04 - 07:32 PM Mudcat - the ultimate nutty flavour.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 11 Feb 04 - 06:05 AM I have taken off the enormous padded bandage from my knee and the swelling has started to subside although my knee is a varied array of colours!...Dave if you warm your hands up you can come and rub my legs!!! Hey Nurse!!!! I need my IV topping up with the Gin.....its nearly empty!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 11 Feb 04 - 06:15 AM Still no sign of Kendall yet ? I reckon you've scared him off, Jacqui C. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 11 Feb 04 - 07:14 AM (enter old weather beaten, gin sodden wretch, pushing trolley) Cocktails! Cocktails! Git 'em while they're cold! Cocktails! Wassat madam? Bloody Mary? No, she's gone 'ome & I'm takin' 'er place. Cocktails! Yus sir, I got gin. I see yer broke yer arm. Wanna gin-sling, then. Heh Heh! Olives? 'Course I got bleedin' olives. Wot kinda Ward Steward would I be wivout olives? Ward Steward, misses. Ex bar-steward of the SS Viagra, wot finally went down in '66. All hands. Cocktails! Cocktails! Cocktails! No! Yer can't 'ave ice, bloody stuff sank the Titanic! Cocktails! Cocktails! (slowly departs into next ward, persued by a whole gaggle of folks with crutches, zimmer frames, and pronounced limps) (L. I. M. P. S. pronounced "limps") |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 11 Feb 04 - 07:24 AM That was Albert Ross, the one-time Monty Python sketch. My, how he's changed. Where's my gin? Nurse! Another straw. This one's gone all soggy from playing "Blow Football" with JennyO's contraceptive pills! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 11 Feb 04 - 07:36 AM DH - when you've finished practicing with those contaceptive pills, get a new straw and dispense this supply of suppositories to all the patients who need them. You can have yet another straw to perform the enemas on beds 3, 6, and 11 - but do make sure that you take bigger mouthfuls of the soapy water this time ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 11 Feb 04 - 08:37 AM Dave - would I do a thing like that! I told him that if he behaved he might be allowed into the recovery ward but it looks like he's still being a naughty boy. Anyway, from what has been posted do you really want him wandering up and down saying Quack every so often. That would turn everyone to drink - oh, I forgot - they've already got there! Have you got those hands nice and warm yet? Then sort out Linda's back for her, there's a good boy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 11 Feb 04 - 09:30 AM Geoff the Duck wanders around saying "Quack", so why shouldn't Kendall ? I've been massaging Linda's back for her upon demand - I even did it on the train coming into work this morning. I must admit that after a while, I lose my accuracy of position and find that I'm massaging other bits - which can cause problems on the train ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Feb 04 - 09:37 AM Three cats wander in through the coat closet and into the ward. They're a little pudgy looking because of their full winter coats. They amble up and down the ward, each eventually hopping up onto a bed and curling up around the knees or feet of the lucky patient. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 11 Feb 04 - 09:48 AM Yes, Dave, you should not massage the emergency brakes ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 11 Feb 04 - 10:16 AM It was more like the buffers (Linda's) that I felt my hand drawn towards, Andreas. SRS - The patient leaps up and grabs the cats - "Protein at last !" he cries "I've been 'Nil by Mouth' for nearly four weeks and I'm starving !". He disappears under the sheets with the felines, there is a sound of munching . . . . . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 11 Feb 04 - 10:28 AM And Linda did not pull the emergency brake then? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Feb 04 - 11:20 AM After a considerable struggle, the large lump under the sheet relaxes, as if from blood loss. The three smaller lumps crawl out from under the covers, revealing themselves to be fat and sassy and healthy cats. They move down the center aisle, tails held high, looking for more comfortable nap spots. Someone yells "Medic! Transfusion needed in bed 13!" A gurney is rolled into the room and Nurse Mildred Ratched supervises the bandaging and straight-jacketing of the moribund figure. He may never be seen again, if he doesn't play his cards right. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 11 Feb 04 - 11:24 AM I didn't know J9hn had got in!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 11 Feb 04 - 12:35 PM Dr Will, wants someone to prick his boil! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 11 Feb 04 - 03:03 PM The bait dangles. Should I? Nah! Too easy. The doc ambles down the ward, stopping only to feed a few tid-bits to the cats (he always carries a few cat nibbles for our furry friends). Then he comes to Liz's bed. He stops again and examines her chart. Looking over the rim of his spectacles at the oxygen masked figure before him, he moves to examine the gas bottles. No. They are oxygen bottles. He thought they must be nitrous oxide, as Liz is having uncontrolable fits of laughter. He notes that she is wearing earphones. "Listening to that bugger, Les Barker, no doubt", he muses. He hurries on toward the canteen, eager to consume lunch before his scheduled theatre appearance. A rather exacting eyebrow-ectomy on Micca awaits.......and it's the anaesthetists day off! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Feb 04 - 07:36 PM Dr, I know it was a scheduled theatre appearance, but are the doublet and hose really necessary? It's an eyebrowectomy, not Richard III.... just make sure the table is the right way round, or you could be removing something else! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 12 Feb 04 - 05:33 AM Just as I was settling in to another day of some real hard "not working", the postman delivered Sir Les's latest book, The Mabidogion. Sir Les always sends me his books for approval, just after they come out, and I send him money. An arrangement that seems to suit us both. It seems Mr Barker has re-located to the welsh foothills (how can anything only a foot high be called a hill?) He now wishes to be known as "Two sheds" in tribute to one of his favourite politicians! Do not read this book if you have just undergone surgery, or are of a nervous disposition. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 12 Feb 04 - 05:42 AM Just found this ode, one of the ODD JOB series by Jack Warner THE MAN WHO FANS THE FEMALES by Jack Warner Another chap was very keen to learn about first aid They taught him to roll bandages, and just how splints were made But all his bandages rolled off, his splints they splintered too, But now at last they've found a job that he can really do: He's the man who fans the females when they've fainted He's the fainting females fanner is friend Fred. And he makes such gentle breezes, Like a sparrow when it sneezes, That his fame at fanning females far has spread. Now our Fred has found he's got a female fan-mail And a fan called Freckled Fran he's made his bride He picked her for her figure Cause she's twenty stone or bigger, For to fan his fat fan Fran fills Fred with pride. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 Feb 04 - 05:44 AM I shall await mine with trepidation then.. I've now been moved to isolation, due to a small touch of plague. Dr's this morning and both blood pressure & temp were up, so I'm filed for reference for a few days. I hear Les had to move because the model railway had expanded throughout the house, achieved sentient life and was threatening to take over Manchester. Expect to see a rival to Ivor the Engine pretty soon! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 12 Feb 04 - 09:29 AM Low blood sugar...that means I won't ferment. Damn! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 13 Feb 04 - 04:29 AM My Mabidogion was awaiting me when I went downstairs! It's certainly reflecting the change of location that Les has made - some truly beautiful poetry there! Plague has progressed to stage 2 where I'm hugging the radiator, wearing 2 jumpers and a fleecy jacket and still shivering. I'm also coughing like a seal now.... Unclean! Unclean!! Pass the sloe gin over, it will help me to sleep and I can throw the bottle at the cat if he starts crepuscing like a mad thing at 5.00am again. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:20 AM When you look at anatomical drawings and even dissected bodies, notice how convoluted the innards are ("guts" in medical language), all twisting and turning like the worm of a still. And the body produces heat. So, why is it hat we can't drink wine and pee brandy? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Amos Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:28 AM Wot -- an' waste perfickly good brandy? Give the Lord SOME credit for brains, after all!! A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 13 Feb 04 - 11:36 AM Who said we were going to waste it??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 13 Feb 04 - 05:40 PM I do believe it has something to do with the other internal processes, which are, on the whole, remarkably like the brewing processes for lager........... Need I say more? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 13 Feb 04 - 06:25 PM That's why the Aussies call it XXXX - they aren't allowed to write PISS on the tin. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 14 Feb 04 - 08:17 AM That reminds me. Will all patients please remember to flush the loos TWICE, as it has to be pumped all the way to the kitchens. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 14 Feb 04 - 08:46 AM yeuuuch......who do I have to sleep with to get out of here? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 14 Feb 04 - 11:24 AM I will be coming round the ward once a week. I will bring my prod, my stick and my handcuffs for those difficult patients. anyone found with a red breast or peeing brandy will be sent to my room for special attention. Nurse Ratched |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 14 Feb 04 - 04:21 PM I don't want to sleep with the female patients. I want to stay awake with them, it's much more fun!! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 14 Feb 04 - 08:38 PM Nurse, the screens, he's doing it again!!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: lady penelope Date: 14 Feb 04 - 09:50 PM There'll be a charge for it, you know........... TTFN Lady P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 15 Feb 04 - 12:05 AM I went in to get him but he doesn't have a photo or profile. so I looked for someone wearing a name tag Giok - with no success. I have polished the hypodermic and have plenty of bandages ready - hang on - I'm off to ward 13 - think I just saw him! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Feb 04 - 05:50 AM The profile has been exorcised to protect the innocent denizens of Mudcat. Mummy Mummy, why can't I see my face in the mirror? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 15 Feb 04 - 06:19 AM there's a few Dorian Grays in here... but John G Mac.. looking in the mirror and seeing nothing.. do you have transylvanian forebears? what is your secret? and are they giving you Johnny Walker intravenously? fred |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Morticia Date: 15 Feb 04 - 06:37 AM Why is Giok allowed four bears? I was only allowed one and even then Liz made fun of it cos it only has one eye and that's crossed... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 15 Feb 04 - 07:37 AM Once upon a time, there were three bears.. Hair bear, Can't bear, and Fore bear. Hair bear was so hairy that people found him scary. Can't bear was so intolerant that he became a radio jock ..and fore bear decided to become a professional golfer.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 15 Feb 04 - 11:15 AM Sorry, nix on the Johnny Walker. it's not real whisky. Now a nice drop of Highland Park, that's another matter. Nurse, where's the cannula? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 15 Feb 04 - 07:00 PM Argh... still suffering from plague and now... HALF TERM!! I've got a touch of the limpits coming on, I can tell.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 16 Feb 04 - 03:59 AM Sorry Liz, no sympathy on the impending Limpit invasion, it is after all a self inflicted woe. John. [Coat time again methinks!] |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 16 Feb 04 - 04:18 AM Self inflicted? Manitas inflicted ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 16 Feb 04 - 04:38 AM Well, I hope all our convalesants (SP) are doing well and are not too bored! Take is easy, mind the limpits and I hope Cat is not going too crazy in hosp! Be good whilst your under the doctor ;-) Regards Ella |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 16 Feb 04 - 03:41 PM Right you lot. The treatment room is free, so who's first for the lager enema? I have a crate of Fosters just waiting for some asshole to enjoy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 16 Feb 04 - 05:04 PM Andy, I believe that Liz was involved too! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 16 Feb 04 - 05:09 PM John, are you sure? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 16 Feb 04 - 05:21 PM where is that man? i have my little black bag, my restraints... and i hear a strange laughing from across the hall.. this time I'm going to get him and modify his behaviour.... by the time I've finished he'll be barking for mercy.. Nurse Ratched |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Feb 04 - 04:56 AM MudGuard - I distinctly remember being there at the time.... and I've got the scar to prove it! Next time you're over.....? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 17 Feb 04 - 09:48 AM Let's have a competition to see who has the longest, most gruesome. (a la *Jaws*) Scar! You bunch of preeverts. Scar! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:07 AM serious? I've got one from abdominal surgery at age 2. It grew with me. not that gruesome, but pretty wide at this point. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Rapparee Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:20 AM I've got three: one is on my right leg, where a fellow Boy Scout tried to cut it off with a corn knife (a sort of bolo or short, heavy machete) quite a few years ago, one in the middle of my tummy from when I was born, and one over my right eyebrow from when my mummy dropped me on my head when I was little. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:22 AM I have 3 little one on my knee which will soon be accompanied by about a 12inch scar from the surgery I am having in 3 weeks. I have a 6and a half inch scar on my arm from a previous surgery..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 17 Feb 04 - 11:54 AM cats, are there still any original parts in you? ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Chief Chaos Date: 17 Feb 04 - 12:51 PM I should have visited the ward when I had a chance! The HMO short changed the doc on my sinus medication so they switched to a generic which spiked my blood pressure by about 45 pts. along about the same time I had a severe sinus infection (Lord knows I'd have rather been dead). So anyhoo, the doc puts me on a second med which immediately causes constipation and other side effects (let's just say the misses wasn't happy with my performance and leave it at that). By about the fifth day the body says sod this! and things progress the way they normally ought. Needless to say I'd have rather been elsewhere when the breakthrough occurred! (I Know, I know, I know....too much information!) So I'll just toast your continuing recovery and check in once in a while to see how Ya'll are doing. By the by...anybody know where I can get some Mental Floss? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Feb 04 - 07:00 PM You need more than mental floss Chief..... try a full bottleinfrontofme. It's a day in therapy tomorrow - Limpit and I are building Castle Aaargh in Lego. I'm sure there's a law against cruelty to parents.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 18 Feb 04 - 12:51 AM I'm back, after a week away. I haven't read the posts, just gone straight to the end. Just hook me up to the Chardonay, I'll rest a little, read up, and send some witty ripost to the ongoing conversation. It's good to be back! SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MudGuard Date: 18 Feb 04 - 03:18 AM Limpit is cruel to you? Is she trying to steal YOUR Legos? ;-) How is your limp, btw? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 18 Feb 04 - 03:51 AM Limpit can't get anywhere near the Lego....have you seen Liz when she is in full building mode??!!! Nurse...I need more Gin in my IV!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 18 Feb 04 - 03:59 AM Lots of people like to be left alone when they're erecting something! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 18 Feb 04 - 04:15 AM rapaire re scars "one over my right eyebrow from when my mummy dropped me on my head when I was little." Hmmmmmm....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 18 Feb 04 - 05:24 AM I have a 10" vertical scar down my tummy more or less centred on my navel - I'm glad it didn't go any further south ! This was the result of having a long chunk of colon removed (because of diverticulitis) about 10 years ago. They also removed my appendix because they had to move all my internal plumbing around so much that the place which it would have ended up would have meant that no doctor would have made a correct diagnosis of appendicitis. One of my friends told me "You shouldn't have much of a scar - it's all keyhole surgery nowdays". It's just a pity that the keyhole would fit that ceremonial key they use to to give people "The Freedom of the City of London". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 18 Feb 04 - 11:39 AM Well, I gotta have a chest x-ray today because I'm still sick (three weeks now). I wouldn't have even bothered calling the doc except I worry about my voice. Can I have Hennessey in my virtual IV? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Chief Chaos Date: 18 Feb 04 - 01:56 PM Hello, hello, hello Doctor Chaos is making his rounds in his motorized pillcart with the goose horn and noddy dog on the back. In his Doctors smock over scrubs, huge cigar, bushy eyebrows, bushy mustache and circle glasses bent over and chasing the nurse out of the ward. I've got to make rounds to pay for my malpractice suit. A lady came to see me and said "Doctor I seem to have gained a little weight". I sent her home with some horse pills. She came back and said they gave her the trots. Another woman came to see me and said "Doctor I seem to be gaining a lot of weight." I sent her home with some diet pills. She came back a month later and said that she'd gone to a bank to open a new account and came back with twin baby boys, doctor what do you think of that? I said what a great bank, I usually only get a toaster. At the trial the judge looked at me and said "do you know anything about medicine?" I said no, but if you hum a few bars I'll fake it. He looked back and said "What must your parents think about you?" I said Judge I'm just a Doctor if you want to know what they're thinking you should ask a psychiatrist. If this trial goes on any longer I'm just going to have to take the fifth, and speaking of fifths, don't mind if I do! If you need me I'll be in the babery checking on the nurses, I mean in the nursery checking on the babies of course. Just squeeze the duck and I'll know its for me! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: kendall Date: 18 Feb 04 - 02:12 PM Well, Jeez, considering all these ailments, I probably wont qualify for a bed. All I have is a rebuilt heart. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 18 Feb 04 - 03:56 PM I will pass on enumerating my various and sundry scars. Being a pasty-white Scandinavian none of them shows up now anyway. Liz, if any of those Legos are left on the hard cold floor in the dark this ward is going to light up with the curses of any poor Mudcatter who steps on them! Kendall, it took you long enough to wander over here. I agree, you're probably too healthy to join this group of malingerers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 18 Feb 04 - 05:54 PM I guess I'm one a' them mal things too; my doc said I had a persistent virus and sent me home with this little inhaler that makes me cough stuff up. I don't want to cough on anybody, though I'm probably way past contagious, so I'll trot on -- er, stroll on -- to another thread. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 18 Feb 04 - 07:10 PM Well I got some new glasses today. Instant result, my headache has gone! Stupid thing is, the prescription is weaker than my previous one, so I guess I was just getting lazy. Hook up the champers in the ol' IV there, I feel an infarction coming on! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Walking Eagle Date: 19 Feb 04 - 12:32 AM Does chemo nausea count? The worst thing is, the stuff they give me to keep me from getting sick MAKES ME SICK! Gives me one huge headache! Nuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrsssssssssssssseeeeeeeeee! I'll take some cranberry juice in my IV and some Chevas Regal. OOHHH and a back rub while you are at it! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 19 Feb 04 - 07:18 AM There's a great song that Sic Transit sing about a guy who's got every ailment - except that "Hypochondr-i-ay I sure ain't got". It's written by Clive Lever so I'll see if I can get him or Don Thomson (Wyziwyg - with a z) to post the lyrics. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Hypomaniac Date: 19 Feb 04 - 07:32 AM i'm lying on these sweaty sheets my lymph glands are a drainin the morphine drip is in my mind and angels are a rainin my torso has been sliced in two and stitched back up a little i want to sleep but here comes nurse with instruments down her middle her bony finger prods my arm she straps a cord around and when i wheeze a little gasp she says shut up don't moan Nurse Ratched through this bleary daze i while away my weary days and long to be upright and tall and never feel your evil maul but then i squeeze that morphine drip my god i think she's had a sip...... aaaagh.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,bleary and weary... Date: 19 Feb 04 - 08:05 AM who is this damned nurse ratched i thought? a figment of Ken Kesey's imagination? I see her coming towards me.. is she real or is this the morphine? An authoritative voice spoke in my head. It said that the screenwriter Bo Goldman who created her for 1 Flew Over Cuckoo's Hernia said his first encounter with nursing was with a labor and delivery nurse who attended his newborn brother. "She was terrifying. She was huge and scary. ... She was obsessive about sanitation. The baby was always clean. The blanket was always clean and everything had to be clean." Some images are hard to shake. Nurse Ratched in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest," said the voice, has become almost synonymous with the disciplinarian medical professional—a nurse whose unyielding worldview and sadism, when unchecked, could provoke a homicidal meltdown in her emotionally regressed patients. To bring the character from Ken Kesey's novel to the screen, Goldman based Nurse Ratched in part on his imperious mother-in-law. "I always thought of [Nurse Ratched] as a nurse second and a control freak first," Goldman said. "She was a terrifying woman, an emasculating and castrating creature." "I think that every lawyer is a criminal and in any doctor there is a sadist," he said. "In every nurse—never mind Florence Nightingale or Mother Teresa—is a sadist's accomplice." ...this bed is uncomfortable - my limbs are aching.... where is my teddy bear? dreary and teary.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 19 Feb 04 - 08:26 AM I am looking for Giok, with my cranial saw in hand. I find in this hospital some ignorant patients who do not understand that I am good for them. there is no use resisting, you must comply. I provide the following reference from Professor Hernia Hesse, of Harvard: "History will show that women who procured stature and power in society have always struggled to keep their position, and those who tried to topple these women from their lofty perch were, more than likely, always men. It is the same in Ken Kesey's novel, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, in which the character, Nurse Ratched, struggles to keep her self-constructed domain together after an opposing enemy, named McMurphy, fights to pull power from her by causing a revolt. In the end, Nurse Ratched wins the battle between her and McMurphy by having him lobotomized, but does she really win the age-old battle of male versus female by suppressing him? Another question is: Why do readers see Nurse Ratched as an evil and conniving woman for trying to save her own self-constructed domain? Feminist critics point out that Kesey's portrayal of Nurse Ratched is degrading because they truly believe she represents the negative personification of the female struggle for power. However, there is a need to look at Nurse Ratched from a different point of view and reveal the positive qualities that Kesey is trying to portray in women through Nurse Ratched. If we analyze the sexist language used to describe Nurse Ratched from a positive female perspective, we would notice that the control and power she uses is to maintain order in a chaotic environment that the men have created in her self-constructed domain. Though the men on the ward see her as a dominating dictator, as readers, we need to take a leap of faith in order to understand that her dominating attitude is a calculated move to maintain order, which in turn, can be considered a positive character trait. Nurse Ratched is battling the males in order to gain respect, keep her control over the ward, and to show readers that a woman must defend and fight in order to succeed, which in turn, should be viewed as a positive character trait and not a negative one. " Professor Hesse is mistaken in only one point.. he seems to think I am a character of fiction, not a real person, aah, but then he was my patient in 1972... now he thinks ecerything is a work of fiction.... ha ha ha ha HA HA HAAAAA......................... N.R. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 19 Feb 04 - 08:35 AM Nurse Ratched, I am a sceptic. I'm telling you, not only are you a figment of someone's imagination, you're a delusion. I'm turning the video off. now everyone roll over and get some sleep. fred |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 19 Feb 04 - 10:44 AM Nurse Rached I'm not sure that Giok's brain is actually in his cranium, it's probably in the object that he wanted to be left alone to errect. I'm also sure that if you go about things in the right manner, he will comply and offer no resistance. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 19 Feb 04 - 12:38 PM Nurse Ratched had some partners in crime in the form of male psychiatrists who were competing with her and with some of the patients. While she stands out, there was a culture of domination that had little to do with good mental health care in that facility. Great thing about literature is the games you can play with the language. Kesey created a classic type when he dreamed up a twisted nurse by the name of "Ratched." Chewing gum or salmon, anyone? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: kendall Date: 19 Feb 04 - 01:04 PM All my nurses were lovely young women who really cared about my comfort. One was downright affectionate. (Wish I had had a private room) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 19 Feb 04 - 01:08 PM no wonder you'r recovering so well, kendall... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: kendall Date: 19 Feb 04 - 03:22 PM hehehe |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 19 Feb 04 - 06:16 PM Private Room! These ARE available, of course. But only for folk with double-barrelled names and large bank accounts. The rest must suffer. Hence Nurse Ratched. I, on the other hand, am available to all. A professional of the highest motives. A servant of mankind. "Tis easier for a rich man to pass through the eye of a camel, than it is to find a needle in a sewed up patient" That will be $600. NEXT! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 19 Feb 04 - 08:51 PM and how many of you think Kesey was justified in having McMurphy rape Nurse R. at the end in order to win the control battle???? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 19 Feb 04 - 10:03 PM Did you read that attack as a rape? It was more along the lines of attempted murder. It has been a long time since I read the book, but I think I'd have noticed a rape. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Chief Chaos Date: 20 Feb 04 - 01:10 PM Let's see shall we? A patient who is certifiably insane (otherwise he wouldn't have been there in the first place) and being antagonized by (insert anyone here, male, female, color, religion, national origin, sexual preference)in the name of supposed control (when really what they were on was a sadistic power trip)ends up attempting to kill said antagonist and we are all supposed to mourn the antagonist? The patient was insane and under what I would consider tortuous conditions does exactly what any sane person would. We were all jumping up and down and screaming Bundalo right along with him. Just like when any bad guy gets their come uppance! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 21 Feb 04 - 01:14 AM McMurphy was the most sane person in the book. Dysfunctional is not the same as insanity. He signed on to go to the hospital thinking it was a warm place to spend the winter and a way to beat jail time for something he had done (can't remember what, but I think it was fairly minor). SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 21 Feb 04 - 07:10 AM you are in the mudcat recovery ward... reading this thread, trying to feel better.. and there's all this talk of asylums, attempted murder, sadistic nurses, power struggles, rape and lobotomy.. is this relaxing? try this..... you are completely relaxed. at the end of your bed stands a tall,beautiful angel (choose whichever gender you need), playing a harp. you watch this beautiful being, and quietly the harp music picks up pace, sounding remarkably up beat, banjo like. you feel life and happiness throb through you, and strangely the music continues, altho the angel has come close, and you feel two huge beautiful soft white wings surrounding you, comforting you. as you lie peacefully, you can feel yourselflooking about and enjoying everything you can see. after a while you realise that the wings have gone, the music is now a memory, playing about your room, and maybe you feel hungry.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 21 Feb 04 - 08:40 AM Banjo like?? I thought you were trying to cheer us up! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 21 Feb 04 - 09:03 AM no john, i was trying to wake you up.... ps.. i wondered how long b4 there'd be a banjo comment!! if theres a heaven, i hope there's some banjos there.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: kendall Date: 21 Feb 04 - 09:53 AM Say what you will about banjos, it is impossible to be pissed off while playing a banjo. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Amos Date: 21 Feb 04 - 10:53 AM Oh,. I dunno, kendall. I get pretty irritated while TRYING to... :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 21 Feb 04 - 10:55 AM Pissed on, yes. Pissed off - well, I'll take your word for it. Pass the bedpans nurse, I feel a squabble coming on! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui c Date: 21 Feb 04 - 05:47 PM Well, I'm in for the next op on Tuesday (if they've got a bed for me!). I wish that the hospital I'm going to was home to the Mudcat Recovery Ward 'cause I could really do with a white wine IV and a nice male nurse to tuck me in! Should be able to get back into the ward next weekend - I'll miss you all until then. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: kendall Date: 21 Feb 04 - 06:44 PM And we will mis you too. xxx |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 22 Feb 04 - 01:53 AM Jacqui, good luck with the bunionectomy! You won't need many reminders to keep your foot up, it will ache if you put it down on the floor. We'll keep a Chardonay iv drip waiting for your return. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 22 Feb 04 - 06:42 AM Limpit wants a bed here now... anything to avoid tidying her room. IV of blackcurrant juice and a snuggly blankie for her please, whilst I get to grips with the hellhole that is her bedroom. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 22 Feb 04 - 07:12 AM well I've managed to come down with a bad cold and aches and pains....2 and half weeks before I go to have my legs fixed. Plug in another IV with extra Gin for the aches and extra vitamin C for the cold!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: rock chick Date: 22 Feb 04 - 02:05 PM Can i book a bed now pleaseee, as i have to periodically go into hospital as an emergency, would be nice to be with friends ranther than people telling you THEY know best even thou you have lived with the problem for 20 odd years. promise i will be a good patient...well most of the time once you give me the pain killers! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 22 Feb 04 - 06:22 PM That really bugs me too, when other people tell you how you are feeling, and you know perfectly well that you aren't. Grrr... hook me up with the Prozac, I feel another 'chasing child around with a hammer and explaining infanticide' episode coming on.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 23 Feb 04 - 06:34 AM Sorting out Limpit and her bedroom sounds like the sort of job for Nurse Ratched, Liz. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 23 Feb 04 - 06:48 AM Dave Bryant, I have no interest in pursuing menial domestic chores. You will regret this misunderstanding. When I have finished with Giok - you, young man, will be necksed. just a minute.. i saw him running off to the visiting room - BRB N.R. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Alfred Annoyes Date: 23 Feb 04 - 07:13 AM it was a dark and muddy night as i lay in my hospital cell the sign on my bed said Dave Bryant there was a grim, malodorous smell.. the ward was a ribbon of flurolight shedding on lousy floors and the men in white coats came riding, riding riding the men in white coats came riding up to my bedroom door they'd a stethoscope bright at their jacket Nurse Ratched was standing on by they watched while i coughed up n hacked it she fixed me with her malevolent eye they ticked a few forms and they muttered and mumbled, as they walked right on by but Nurse Ratched replied, listen Bryant I'll be back with the metho soon Bryant back with the metho and needle and she laughed as she swaggered on by... She'd a white starched hat on her forehead A bunch of old keys at her side A dowdy and spotless white uniform and a chuckle like Frankenstein's bride And she strode with a bottle of metho, and sponged that bottle of metho, sponged that burning metho Onto Dave Bryant's backside while Dave screamed and grabbed at his morphine Nurse Ratched leant over and said Behave now, Bryant or I'll get you And your bedsores will soon be bright red She slapped our young Dave to submission And beat the young man to a pulp Over the lino she clattered Like a medical Incredible Hulk …And still of a winter's night, they say, when Dave Bryant is clutching his knees, When the ward is a Mudcat asylum full of unrest & disease, When the ward is a ribbon of flurolight over the sanitised floor, Nurse Ratched comes a striding, striding, striding Nurse Ratched comes a striding, along the linoleum floor.. Alfred Annoyes |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 23 Feb 04 - 07:17 AM Thank you, Mr Annoyes, for that short poetic expectoration. now I must continue my search for Giok...... N.R. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 23 Feb 04 - 07:22 AM I'm beginning to feel stalked, good job I'm wearing this leopard skin disguise. No chance of my being spotted now! Grrrrr.....John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 23 Feb 04 - 02:05 PM Nurse! This floor needs more polish. For when that Radchet person comes striding by. It'll help those with zimmer frames to get a move on, too. Who wants leopard skin coats? $600 a piece. NEXT! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 23 Feb 04 - 02:07 PM I think a few of you ward folks ought to cool it with Nurse Ratched and make good the exit through that coat closet over there--hang out in the tavern for a while. But DON'T TAKE YOUR BEDSORES INTO THE HOT TUB!!! Ick. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 23 Feb 04 - 04:21 PM I had just got out of hospital the last time, when I found out that my wife did truly love me. She was so excited that I had returned to the bosom of my family. So excited, in fact, that she couldn't resist shouting out to the milkman, the mailman & the insurance man as they came walking up the drive "MY HUSBAND IS HOME, MY HUSBAND IS HOME". Sure did make me feel loved. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 23 Feb 04 - 04:45 PM Oh Kay!! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 23 Feb 04 - 05:05 PM Can't decide if it's lack of prozac or PMT or chocolate deprivation which is making me want to kill things...... Will have to eat chocolate rugby ball tomorrow to find out. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 23 Feb 04 - 05:16 PM What's the difference between PMT and BSE? Ones called Mad Cow Disease, and the other has something to do with beef. Oh dear, it's coat time again....John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,nurse ratched Date: 23 Feb 04 - 08:22 PM is that the strait jacket you're calling for, john? n.r |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 23 Feb 04 - 11:57 PM Oh John, come over here and say that.... Why does it take 4 women with PMT to change alight bulb? BECAUSE IT JUST DOES, ALRIGHT A%£"$£"HOLE?!!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,nurse ratched Date: 24 Feb 04 - 12:07 AM doubt in the power of women is a psychiatric condition which can be assisted with shock therapy. this I am adept in applying - and the smell of burnt leopardskin is not appealing. I'm coming. n.r. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 24 Feb 04 - 04:39 AM Time to enlist in the guards, and don my bearskin I think. Old Goon show joke. Neddy Seagoon is being buried alive. 'You can't bury me, I want to join the guards! Moriarity. 'Nonsense Neddy, nobody under 6 feet can join the guards' Ah the old jokes! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 24 Feb 04 - 06:15 AM Did somebody mention the Goons? (Mudcat Recovery Ward, somewhere at sea) Nurse Ratched: "Three of the patients drowned last night, Matron" Matron: "How did that happen?" Nurse Ratched: "Poor fools tried to tunnel their way out!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 24 Feb 04 - 08:48 AM Eccles can you see ahead? Yes a dirty great bald one. Ah doomp a doomp a doomp a doomp a doo. Shut-up Eccles. Ying tong yiddle i po! He's fallen in the water! You filthy rotten swine, I don't want to be deaded! etc......John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 24 Feb 04 - 11:51 AM Nurse Ratched - "- and the smell of burnt leopardskin is not appealing. I'm coming." - so you do get turned on now and again. I don't think that you'd find getting Limpit to clear up her room a mere domestic chore - in fact you might find you'd met your match in aforesaid female infant. Alfred Annoyes - Do you really think that she'd do those things to me ? Up in Soho those sort of services would cost a fortune. . . . . Dou you think that she'd dress up in black PVC while she was at it ? Nurse - bring some tissues quickly ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 24 Feb 04 - 07:07 PM Hope someone's saved a bed for CatsPhiddle, she's having her leg pulled tomorrow. Hook up the IV gin and warm the bed up Nurse! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 25 Feb 04 - 04:16 AM Does that mean she'll be even taller? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 25 Feb 04 - 04:16 AM I'd warm up Khatt's bed any day - it'll have to be an extra long one. Good luck Khatt - I hope it all goes well. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,nurse ratched Date: 25 Feb 04 - 05:37 PM .....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz............................... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 26 Feb 04 - 06:22 PM Dave - have you seen how far she can reach with those crutches? I'd be getting a head start if I were you! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 27 Feb 04 - 07:05 AM Yes Dave, don't make Khatt go all crutchety. Remember the Incredible Hulk, 'you wouldn't like me when I'm mad'. I don't suppose Khatt goes green though. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 27 Feb 04 - 11:26 AM catsPHiddle should be out of surgery now. Any news? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Gillie Date: 03 Mar 04 - 05:03 AM Khatts back home and being well looked after. Im recovering in Maderia (dont rate Portugese hospitals at all.) Flying back Monday 8th March. Diagnosis Hertious hernia - possible little ulcers. Gillie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 03 Mar 04 - 10:31 AM Gillie--I didn't ask because I didn't want to subvert the thunder over on the catsPHiddle thread--what brought you to such a pass in Portugal? Something you ate? Something that just finally caught up with you at the most inconvenient place imaginable? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Jacqui.c @ Newark Date: 03 Mar 04 - 12:19 PM Well, I'm back from the hospital having had the toes suitably mauled and in the care of my family's version of Nurse Ratched. Recovery Ward definitely needed with that Chardonnay IV!!! Did you know how boring it can be to have to spend so much time off your feet (particularly when there aren't any noce male nurses or even nice males to distract the attention)? I'm almost getting to the point where I'd be happy to go back to work - nurse, bring me that IV QUICK!!!!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 03 Mar 04 - 12:27 PM Hiatus Herna is an ongoing situation, and they can operate laparoscopically [sp] and relieve the reflux that is characteristic of this condition. It is perfectly controllable with acid reduction pills like Losec or Zantac, and a bit of dietary caution. Ulcers are a different thing, and these days most ulcers are cured by massive doses of antibiotics. They used to cut lumps out of people's stomach for years, then discovered that in most cases they can cure it with pills. So all in all nothing too much to worry about, sorry that it had to catch up with you in Madeira, and hope it's not an ill omen, as I'm going there myself in May for a short break. Get better soon. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 03 Mar 04 - 03:03 PM Im here!!!.....link me up to the Gin IV and pass the chocolates!!....Move over Dave so I can get in the bed!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 03 Mar 04 - 03:12 PM Jacqui, how did it go? Are you keeping your foot up like a good girl? SRS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 03 Mar 04 - 08:24 PM It seems as if the Alcoholics wing is full to capacity, so I may have to bed down here for a while. Nurse Gordons will be coming by any minute with the gin. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 04 Mar 04 - 03:28 AM Nah DH, you want to check into the Nig Snodrog ward, mayb'e they'll put you in a bed near my old Scots alchoholic mate Rab Noolas. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Gillie Date: 04 Mar 04 - 05:55 AM Giok, Thankyou for that info. The ulcers did not show on the test so when I get back to England I have to arrange to have a scan. Yes I have suffered from reflux for some time now. The medication seems to be working, but Im not allowed any alchahol!! :-( The thing that happened was that I brough up lots of bright red blood and smothered the bedding in it. A doctor was called who admitted me into hospital. (Not a pleasant experience!) Maderia is a beautiful island, be prepared for lots of hills, in May it will be very hot! Gillie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Mar 04 - 05:58 AM Sorry, the Nig Snodrog is not available, but there is room in Yrd Syrubnias Paehc if you want. Welsh language lessons available after the 5th IV. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: kendall Date: 04 Mar 04 - 07:55 AM Man, I'd hate to sail for the Spanish Main with this lot as crew! You are all on the binnacle list. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 04 Mar 04 - 08:05 AM Aye aye Boatswine. Anyway what you doing here Kendall, I heard you'd been discharged? Or was it that you were suffering from a nasty discharge? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 04 Mar 04 - 05:39 PM Ye gods, do I have to swallow a DJ & ekoc? Have some Madeira m'dear? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,The Doctor Date: 04 Mar 04 - 08:28 PM How long did you stay in the hospital to say that you do not rate it. They diagnosed your condition and started the correct treatment,I would rate that as very good. Oh dear you could not understand the language,that does not really matter when you are ill and being correctly treated. I hope that when you get home that you get as good treatment from the NHS as you got in Portugal/Madeira. How long will you wait to be seen for your scan,several days I would think. Not only should you stop drinking with the condition you have named, smoking is also to be avoided at all costs, have you stopped that yet? I hope that you eventually get well and realise how ungrateful you have been to one of the best Health services in Europe,the Potuguese one I mean. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 05 Mar 04 - 08:37 AM Pot-ugese? Is that legal? Put me down for about $50 worth! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Gillie Date: 05 Mar 04 - 08:48 AM We will see guest doctoria!!! I have had plenty of hospital experience over the years. Communication is a wonderfull thing. All will be well. Gillie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Mar 04 - 11:48 PM Several days wait for a scan, oh bliss! Here with my local hospital authority, even though there are 5 or more hospitals to choose from, it's still several weeks, if not months before a referral comes through! That's why I started this ward up in the first place! Party in Ward 10 tonight chaps, bring your own bedpan. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: kendall Date: 06 Mar 04 - 04:05 AM I got some great news yesterday, check out the thread titled "Great prognosis" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,jacquic@Newark Date: 06 Mar 04 - 08:55 AM Hi Stilly I'm trying to be good but it's so BORING. I'm with the daughter at the moment and being bossed around 'for my own good', she says. i think it's because she just likes being the boss! Problem is I feel fine and have very little pain now so have really to concentrate on NOT using the foot. mind you, with a plaster backslab and the most fashionable blue sandal there isn't too much opportunity to forget the thing. Roll on plaster removal in about four weeks time (I hope). I think I'll feel better when I go home next week as I'll see more of my friends and will be taken out to sessions which has got to be a good thing. In the meantime where's that IV and even a bed bath from Dave is beginning to look good! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 07 Mar 04 - 05:09 AM Well folks, went for an ultrasound scan the other day, and no I'm not pregnant, but what I have is a small stone in one kidney, and a cyst on the other. So can you please send out to the off licence/liqour store for another case or two of single malt IV serum. Move over kids here's Johnny! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 07 Mar 04 - 06:15 AM Giok: Drink plenty of liquids. That will be $600. NEXT! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Gillie Date: 07 Mar 04 - 06:28 AM Liz - I will probably have to wait up to six months for my scan, that is the way things work here. As an emergency case they would do it right away. I think that here in Maderia things would probably happen sooner. Ah well back to the cold wintery weather tomorrow. The extra week has given us a chance to recover from the first week!! Gillie |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 07 Mar 04 - 06:33 AM I've finished the Gin IV....need a refill....and if the physio-terrorists pass this way...I not here....!!!..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 07 Mar 04 - 12:28 PM A rattling sound is heard, and heads turn toward a sunny window in the ward. One of the kitties is batting at the glass, and the internal spring is triggered and the sash flies up, startling all with a gust of warm fresh spring air, the sound of birds, the distant knocking of a yellow-bellied sapsucker, and several small butterflies drift into the room. The cat gives chase. . . My discomfort on the ward this morning is of my own making--I mowed the lawn (the weeds got tall, the grass is still dormant!) and trimmed and raked and such. Spring is here! SRS P.S. Keep that foot up as long as is possible, Jacqui. The more time you keep it up the quicker and the better the healing. Mine is a little achy after yesterday's work, but overall, is much much better that I'm 8 months past the surgery. I give it a year before all of the aches are gone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 07 Mar 04 - 05:28 PM So explain why I woke up this morning feeling like I'd been in a steam roller accident? ARgh... bring on the drugs trolley!!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 07 Mar 04 - 06:18 PM You're probably just feeling a bit flat Liz, asphalt a bit like that myself. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Tig Date: 08 Mar 04 - 02:26 PM Magician and Gillie have been spotted by Col K and are being returned! Please get me a bed ready for Wednesday when I shall have acute withdrawal syndrome having handed the pub back. Gin IV will be an essential part of the treatment! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 08 Mar 04 - 03:15 PM Tig...there's a spare bed next to me!....we can catch up over a few Gin IV's! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 08 Mar 04 - 03:23 PM You people treat this place as though it were a hotel! Which reminds me: Will all those nice folks who checked out last week please return the towels and bathrobes, thank you! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 08 Mar 04 - 03:27 PM Can I keep the shower cap, and the scented soap? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dr Will C U Now Date: 08 Mar 04 - 07:15 PM That wasnt a shower cap, you fool! Now I suppose Nurse Ratched is pregnant again, dammit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 08 Mar 04 - 10:38 PM John of course you may keep the soap and shower cap. That will be $129.95, please. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 09 Mar 04 - 10:54 AM Can we have piccies of you in the shower cap Giok? Just want to see if it's tartan and has a wee bobble on the top! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 Mar 04 - 11:45 AM No it isn't, but I once had a tartan bed. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 09 Mar 04 - 12:44 PM Call that a bath robe? The damn thing isn't fluffy, doesn't have any pockets and the fastenings are at the back..... Talk about bare cheek! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 09 Mar 04 - 04:13 PM And those pink pyjamas, need ironing; I don't when I last saw anything so wrinkled! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,nurse ratched Date: 10 Mar 04 - 08:55 AM just briefly calling in from the Maldives.. Giok, if I find you in a state of indecent undress, I will place you under decent duress.. pregnant? no, but happily expecting a grandnurse ratched.... don't give me any lip, now giok... n.r. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 10 Mar 04 - 09:23 AM Too far away for that nursie! Can someone please change my Highland Park IV for an Islay malt, possibly Bowmore. Doctor Will says I need a bit of peat in me, [I think that's what he said!] John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,MMario Date: 10 Mar 04 - 09:29 AM is there a bed available for a case of mental and emotional exhaustion? Not seveer - I can still socialize - just need a bit of R&R - and a Kalua iv. (caffiene, sugar and alcohol - the elixir of the gods) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 10 Mar 04 - 05:52 PM I think you've got Finger Lakes Fever Mario, it's what happens when your Seneca Falls. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 11 Mar 04 - 10:12 AM I haven't looked in on this thread for a bit, but I think quite a few of us could answer the question that LtS asked last Sunday: So explain why I woke up this morning feeling like I'd been in a steam roller accident? Perhaps you'd forgotten your house party the evening before ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,MMario Date: 11 Mar 04 - 10:24 AM giok - why do I suddenly feel nausous? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 11 Mar 04 - 12:16 PM Well I've just seen my consultant/surgeon and Im healing well although he says I will probably need more operations in the future. He showed me pictures taken of the inside of my knee done with the little camera they put inside and it wasn't pretty. He said my knees were very bad but hopefully this operation will hold it for a while and if they deteriorate more in the future then they will think of some more options. My next appointment is in 4 weeks time and the consultant will decide then when I can return to work. I start physio next Thursday........ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 11 Mar 04 - 12:43 PM Mario, I'm glad you brought that up!! John [Feel any better now?] |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 11 Mar 04 - 02:27 PM Ah yes, I remembered, but only drank 2 pints of that stuff throughout the evening - if you recall, at several points I was wandering around with a huge cup of herbal tea! Well, not only have they upped the dried frog pills but they've given me sleepers too. That has a lot to do with why I feel like I've been run over by a steam roller. It's bad when you go to your doctors' office and he says, as you walk in the door 'you don't look well at all, are you sure you should be up and about?' Nurse, the screens! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Tig Date: 11 Mar 04 - 06:31 PM Soorry I'm a day late getting to the ward - I do hope my bed is still available. I've brought my new big tedddy bear I won from the Buffalo's with me for cuddling if anyone wants to share. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,freda Date: 11 Mar 04 - 06:53 PM hi catsph - sounds like you have been through quite a bit. glad to hear you're on the mend - hopefully you'll be waltzing with bears soon!(come to think of it, that photo of micca does look a little teddy bear ish..) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 11 Mar 04 - 07:43 PM Tig, I have to inform you that a macho old sea dog such as myself would definately not want to share your Teddy Bear, no matter how big. I shall just sit up in bed whittling model ships to put inside my ever growing collection of empty gin bottles. Now, where did I leave my Little Pony? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 12 Mar 04 - 04:02 AM Less of the cockney rhyming slang please DH John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 Mar 04 - 05:21 AM Hey Dead - what about playing with MY teddy...... the one with the purple lace..... And you know what the Dr said about playing with your pony... wash your hands afterwards! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: el ted Date: 12 Mar 04 - 05:38 AM Post number 300. it is mine! eat my shorts! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 12 Mar 04 - 10:35 AM Has anyone noticed a badly damaged steam-roller in the Plaistow area ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 12 Mar 04 - 10:46 AM Liz - can I play with the two puppies (the ones with the pink noses) which you keep in the top of your "teddy with the purple lace". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 Mar 04 - 12:11 PM No. Still trying to get the jelly off the left one. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 12 Mar 04 - 12:38 PM It could be worse Liz; it could be Blancmange. I think thats how you spell it, not sure if the second syllable is spelt with an 'i' or not. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 Mar 04 - 12:43 PM True - I hate milk puddings. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 18 Apr 04 - 07:46 AM As InOBU and Jennyo are both dealing with broken hands/arms, I thought i'd refresh this one, in case... enjoy the recovery ward, there's lots of fluffy toys and comforters in here! fred |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:04 AM Welcome back to the mudhouse, is Nurse Rached still with us, I could use more of her tender ministrations, and I'd like to check out her Indian Ocean suntan! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: alanabit Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:13 AM Can I come in? I have an arm in a cast thanks to a crocked finger. I dislocated it at Pentjak Silat training, put it back in myself and carried on. It swoll up. The good news at the x-ray was that it was not broken. The bad news is that ligaments take at least twice as long to mend. My family is at least relieved to be spared the sound of my guitar practice for several weeks - possibly months to come! Can I claim a free pint at the Mudcat Tavern for the dumbest injury so far this year, or is Larry going to come up with a better claim? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,Nurse Ratched Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:21 AM No fluffy toys for you, Giok. You will see that I have published some research in the Lancet on our previous encouncters ( the skepticaemia thread). That impertinant query about sun tan indicates you may be ready for some further re-education. n.r. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:31 AM Oh goody! I hear they're looking for candidates to do bed baths, can I nominate myself, or do I have to stand for election? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:41 AM alanabit - you sure can come in. jennyo has had something similar which has damaged the ligaments of her arm, you could go to the canteen together and compare wounds. and John MacKenzie.. missing nursie I see? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:50 AM 16 degrees, and nearly 1 am in Sydney, have you not turned into a pumpkin yet? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 18 Apr 04 - 10:18 AM it's 12.12 am..and all's well.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 18 Apr 04 - 10:33 AM Web Wombat haven't turned their clock back to winter time then, I'll have to write and complain. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 18 Apr 04 - 10:36 AM I saw a wombat on the weekend at our national folk festival in Canberra - a baby one, domesticated, lives on site. People were cuddling it, its very sweet natured. (get a little tougher as they get older, like many of us!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 18 Apr 04 - 11:33 AM You'll have to make room for Curmudgeon pretty soon. Kendall seems to have up and escaped the ward altogether, and even fled the continent! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: JennyO Date: 18 Apr 04 - 11:38 AM I need a few weeks to rest up. I've been slowly recovering from a smashed left wrist from two years ago. I've had two lots of surgery, a metal plate followed by another one last year, and bone substitute in the spaces, and it is only now about 95% healed. In the last couple of weeks, the metal plate has started to get in the way of things, causing swelling and sudden severe cramping of the fingers, and it appears it is fraying the tendons, so it has to come out before it does any more damage. I'm wearing a brace most of the time to prevent flare-ups, and lots of rest has been recommended, so here I am. Just hook me up to the Drambuie IV over there and give me lots of nice fluffy pillows. Oh, and I hope that Nurse Ratched doesn't come in. I don't think I trust her! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Stilly River Sage Date: 18 Apr 04 - 02:52 PM Oh, Jenny, that sounds so painful and complicated! Good luck with the treatments they come up with next! Okay, back to the Drambuie. . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: open mike Date: 18 Apr 04 - 03:07 PM what is " Pentjak Silat training" ? and recently while looking up images of wombats to send to this organization Womens Mountain Bike and Tea Society i found this but, i recommend it be restricted from entering the WARD-not house broken |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: alanabit Date: 18 Apr 04 - 04:20 PM Open Mike, it's a form of Indonesian martial arts in which aging buskers can crock their own fingers! Here's wishing a speedy recovery to Jenny and Larry, whom I am sure both have better excuses for being injured than I have! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 18 Apr 04 - 09:03 PM Sorry Alanabit - I think I still hold the record for stupidest injury - bruised bones, tendons & ligaments by dropping a full bottle of wine on my bare foot.... a month on crutches that got me, and 3 weeks with a stick after that. It still twinges when I've walked a long way, but as the dicky ticker is curtailing my excercise, it's not too bad. Glad to see the Recovery Ward is still doing some good, and I hope to see Curmudgeon in here soon. We're saving him the bed by the door and the IV gin with the fresh lemon in it. I can confirm that Kendall has upped and left - I saw him in his UK incarnation this evening and he looked positively bouncy - mind you, he was with JacquiC so that might account for it! I think she's been fixing his medication! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: alanabit Date: 19 Apr 04 - 02:04 AM That sounds like a beauty Liz - Buggering your foot and a potential painkiller in one hit. I'm feeling better already. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 19 Apr 04 - 04:29 AM Liz - whatever can you mean? All I've been doing is making sure that Kendall gets back to the States in about the same condition, or better, than he arrived - otherwise, as Sinsull says, we won't get our deposit back! Anyway - Kendall hasn't complained - so far! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 19 Apr 04 - 04:32 AM A cheeky little Beaujolais, with gravity, and a hint of verucca, doesn't travel very well. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 19 Apr 04 - 08:09 AM alanabit - how did you do your arm in? nosily, freda |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 19 Apr 04 - 09:20 AM "Kendall hasn't complained - so far!" - I bet he hasn't ! You both seemed to have big grins on your faces last night. Now that he's left the recovery ward, he doesn't need bed-baths all the time. ;-)) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: alanabit Date: 19 Apr 04 - 03:50 PM I mentioned it earlier Freda. I muffed a kick at Pentjak Silat training. (It's an Indonesian fighting sport). I fell badly on a hand and dislocated a finger. I put it straight back in but it turned out that the ligament had been well pranged. It's now in a cast and it will be some time before I either hold a guitar or whack a punchbag again. I'm feeling a bit sheepish! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 19 Apr 04 - 04:13 PM But Dave - Kendall says that because of the arthritis he MUST have bed-baths 'cause there are certain parts he can't reach - anything to oblige! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,MMario Date: 19 Apr 04 - 04:15 PM but why does he insist on the warmed, scented oils? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Apr 04 - 11:39 PM Why not? Some of those sponges are positively rough and there is nothing worse than cold water on the parts (except possibly embrocation, but I can't comment on that). The warm oils keep the skin in perfect condition and prevent infestation by termites. I'm back in again, but don't bother with a bed... insomnia is a bitch but at least it means I'll be early for work! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 20 Apr 04 - 02:41 AM The Easter Bunny can wield some wonderful healing magic - get well soon, all of you - (even those needing/craving bed baths..)! whhhoooooshhh! (easter bunny waves magic wand.....) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 20 Apr 04 - 03:28 AM alanabit - what a dill I am, should have read the thread properly. feeling sheepish? if it was an Indonesian martial art you were practising, you could be feeling like an Indonesian sheep - thats not so bad - and they get into martial arts too! There are three native sheep breeds in Java: the local Javanese thin-tailed; the Priangan of West Java; the fat-tailed sheep of East Java. The Priangan sheep are bred primarily for ram fighting (Ketangkasan Seni Domba). The competitions are held regularly in Bandung and at smaller local centres. Competing rams are given intensive training which includes exercise, practice fighting, swimming and massage. The fight takes place on a grass surface within a circle of spectators. A band plays and the rams are encouraged by the dancing and singing of their attendants. The competitors are placed facing each other and a few metres apart in the centre of the ring. They back away from each other up to a distance of 5–10 metres and then charge each other with their heads down to collide head on. The base of the horn takes the major impact. They then back away and charge again. This may be repeated up to 50 times in the case of the largest class but up to only 25 times for the smallest class. After 10–12 encounters there is a pause during which the animals are petted and groomed. If one ram is a clear winner by knocking the other down or forcing him backwards or if one is a clear loser by walking away or losing interest, the fight is stopped. Usually the two adversaries are very closely matched and the winner is decided by a group of six judges who award points on the basis of agressiveness, style, dexterity, alertness and stamina. If there is any gambling on the result, it is not conducted openly. Animals are rarely hurt and blood is rarely drawn. The sheep of Java form an invaluable genetic resource, they have a reputation for high fertility, an average annual lamb production of 200–220 lambs per 100. best wishes freda |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 20 Apr 04 - 03:33 AM Freda, do you have "Loco weed" in Oz? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 20 Apr 04 - 03:50 AM what's loco weed? don't think so! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 20 Apr 04 - 03:56 AM They've got Toohey's, it's the next best thing. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 21 Apr 04 - 01:06 AM Ah, I think we've found Gioks' soul mate!! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 21 Apr 04 - 04:39 AM The sheep, the weed, or the Toohey's ?? John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 21 Apr 04 - 04:58 AM Hi freda - Kendall says that loco weed is something that grows in the South Western part of the USA - cows eat it and 'go nuts'. I'll leave you to make what you will of that! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 21 Apr 04 - 07:22 AM BTW Jacqui - are you still requiring bed-baths - from Kendall ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: InOBU Date: 21 Apr 04 - 07:46 AM ah alanabit! when i can type the a few fingers on the rght i will tell the tale... needs both hands to tell the story in a ballenced way truth one hand typing hurts like hell... twice the effort get well mate. larry |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 21 Apr 04 - 02:56 PM Just think what problems a useless right hand would cause a 14 year old boy. Why it could ruin his sex life! John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 21 Apr 04 - 03:12 PM Dave - yes, and he does them very nicely too! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dave Bryant Date: 22 Apr 04 - 06:14 AM Jacqui - Will you need someone to take over, when Kendall goes walk-about ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: SINSULL Date: 03 May 04 - 06:43 PM Great! Bed baths and hot oil rubs. He'll be unbearable when he gets back here,. I thought I told you that I wanted him returned in the same condition he arrived in. Somebody fix a bed for me. I had my non-mastitis lump removed last week and a breast biopsy done. leaving a rather long and lumpy gash, a huge bruise, and a weary Mary. Results tomorrow but expect good news and no surprises. Meantime, my brother and his wife just left for home. They spent the last few days cooking and cleaning and fussing over me. House is a bit empty but Seamus came back to keep me company. Feeling like "Poor Little Me". Somebody pour me a drink. The painkillers make me dull headed and depressed. I hate feeling depressed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: JennyO Date: 04 May 04 - 01:23 PM I am going into hospital this Thursday to get the metal plate taken out of my wrist. It did a good job during the slow healing process, but lately it has been causing major problems (see my post on 18/4 at 11.38am). It's only a day stay, and they will probably only do a block, not a general anaesthetic. In fact, I should be out in time to be at my folk club that night (with others helping me run it). I will be a bit sore for a while though, so could you top up my Drambuie IV please? And I will need LOTS of nice fluffy pillows (I'm notorious for the number of pillows and cushions I take with me when sleeping away from home - some would call me the pillow queen!) I hate hospitals with a passion - I find them very scary. I've known too many people who went in for something relatively minor, who suffered all sorts of complications, and in some cases never came out alive, so I will be glad when that is behind me. The Mudcat Recovery Ward on the other hand, seems like a friendly comforting place, so I think I will spend a few days here. Jenny |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,nurse ratched Date: 05 May 04 - 03:25 AM You will be checking in in the morning, Jennyo. Don't forget to bring that poema about the whips, and some Eno salts. Be warned, there are some unsavoury types in the hospital - I will protect you. Nurs Ratched M.A.I.M. at your services |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Bat Goddess Date: 05 May 04 - 09:43 AM The good news, JennyO, is that hospitals (and staff!!!) have become very aware of exactly how many bugs set up housekeeping in hospitals -- and can no longer be taken care of with antibiotics cuz they're resistant. I drilled "Don't let anyone touch you without seeing them wash their hands" into Tom from the git-go. But, like I said, hospitals seem to be very aware of the problem. There are antibacterial foams at every door and every elevator. I immediately got into the habit of foaming my hands coming TO the hospital and especially the ICU and on my way OUT of the hospital. Ya don't want to bring anything in or take anything home. All the computer screens I saw had screensavers about washing hands. All the nursing staff, etc. either washed their hands on entering the room or used the foam or gel -- AND put on gloves. (In the case of Portsmouth Regional, seriously cool purple non-latex gloves which were on the wall at every room door and they left them mostly unguarded so I have a collection.) It's a good thing to be aware of, but I don't think we need to worry as much as in the bad old days when the medicos were arrogant enough to figure they could zap anything that turned up with antibiotics and get rid of it. Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: JennyO Date: 05 May 04 - 09:47 AM Eno salts? I don't think I want to know! The poem I can manage. I'll be in very early in the morning - 7.30 am to be exact. I shudder to think about those unsavoury types - Nurse Ratched M.A.I.M. indeed - not exactly very reassuring :-( |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Bat Goddess Date: 05 May 04 - 10:30 AM By the way, may I please be admitted here? I'm only recovering from Tom's surgery (and his recovery), but it's left me limp (and run me ragged). Oh, am I'm getting writer's cramp and a hoarse throat. Could someone please prescribe either Tirconnel or Laphroaig for my IV? Or maybe one of each? Sudden thought -- Does anyone remember the military hospital joke about "wire brush and Dettol"? -- Heard David Jones tell it years ago, and I have the gist but I'm missing enough details that I can't tell it. (Maybe that's a good thing.) Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui c Date: 05 May 04 - 01:50 PM I need re-entry for a while please - my foot's been playing up and Kendall's gone home so I need lots of sympathy!!!! No Dave - I do not accept substitutes - I'm off out to the Getaway in October if time and money allow, just so I can get the side benefits again! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 May 04 - 02:57 PM The joke: You asked for it..... A General was visiting a field hospital one day and saw three soldiers in their beds. He went over to chat to them and jolly them along. Gen: "Morning Soldier, what's the trouble with you?" Sol 1: "Crabs Sir!" Gen: "What are they treating you with?" Sol 1: "Sir, Wire brush and Detol Sir!" Gen: "And what's your biggest wish Soldier?" Sol 1: Sir, To get out and go serve my Unit, Sir!" The General walked over to the next bed. Gen: "Morning Soldier, what's the trouble with you?" Sol 1: "Piles, Sir!" Gen: "What are they treating you with?" Sol 1: "Sir, Wire brush and Detol Sir!" Gen: "And what's your biggest wish Soldier?" Sol 1: Sir, To get out and go serve my Unit, Sir!" The General walked to the third bed. Gen: "Morning Soldier, what's the trouble with you?" Sol 1: "Gingivitus Sir!" Gen: "What are they treating you with?" Sol 1: "Sir, Wire brush and Detol Sir!" Gen: "And what's your biggest wish Soldier?" Sol 1: Sir, To get the wire brush and Detol first, Sir!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Nemesis Date: 05 May 04 - 02:57 PM Day 14 .. flying over the handlebars bike accident - deep cut over eye requiring stitches, but nothing broken .. like heck: Just out out hospital after facial reconstruction surgery .. Yours in wooziness .. Nemesis xx (PS .. don't make me laugh please!!!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Bat Goddess Date: 05 May 04 - 03:11 PM Liz -- heaps of thanks! That's the very one! And now I've got it straight enough in my head to unleash it amongst an innocent world. Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Bassic Date: 05 May 04 - 09:40 PM Hey Nemesis......this is a music site not a sight for sore eyes!! ;-) Sorry to hear of your recent woes, speedy recovery kiddo. X |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 06 May 04 - 04:00 AM Sorry, cut and paste went mad - it should have course have been soldier 1, soldier 2 and soldier 3 respectively.... Nurse, another Gin IV over here! Incidentally, what do people think of ginseng and ginko for short term memory improvement? Does it help? My short term memory is shot to pieces and it's really making life awkward. Anyone have an opinion or suggestions? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 06 May 04 - 04:04 AM If you put less tonic in your gin the problem will go away, as you then won't remember anything. Sometime it's better that way. John |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Bat Goddess Date: 06 May 04 - 08:44 AM A couple years ago I was talking on the phone with a friend. I happened to mention that my recent vitamin & supplement order had just arrived and that I had ordered a bottle of ginko, but I couldn't remember why I ordered it. She broke up laughing and I couldn't figure out why . . . Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 06 May 04 - 09:45 AM I use the stuff regularly and the memories not too bad. It's also supposed to help the circulation but the gin does that anyway. Mind you, it may make up for all the brain cells destroyed by the regular intake of alcohol....... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: JennyO Date: 06 May 04 - 11:38 PM Well the real hospital visit is over, thank goodness, and I'm happy to be in this much friendlier place. The worst thing about it is that I got a different anaesthetist than the one I had been talking to, and he was not keen to do a block. He said the odds of permanent nerve damage with a block was 5000 to 1, as opposed to the odds of complications from a general anaesthetic in a normal healthy person being 100,000 to 1. So he talked me into having a general anaesthetic. He also said enough about legal implications for me to realise that what he was really concerned about was being sued! I warned him I get really sick from almost any anaesthetic or strong pain killer, and anti-nausea drugs don't work well on me either, and of course that's what happened again. I felt awful for the rest of the day, and wasn't feeling too bright at my folk club last night either. I was having weird dreams and flashbacks falling asleep last night, too. So I'm rather annoyed about that, especially since I seem to remember my doc saying after the operation that they did a block, TOO!!! I want to check that one out with the doc - maybe I misunderstood. My SO was there at the time, so I'll ask him if he remembers hearing that. If it is true, then I don't see how the GA was necessary at all, and I suffered for nothing. But on to happier things - the bone is healed, the tendons are damaged, but with time to grow back, the damage will probably not be permanent. My thumb may be a problem - the top joint will not bend very far, but with exercise all that may come good, and mandolin playing will help the fingers. Actually it's surprising how well I can type. My fingers won't quite straighten, but I can use them quite well, and pain is minimal. So top up the Drambuie IV, fluff up my pillows, and keep those unsavoury characters away ;-) The worst is over! Jenny |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 07 May 04 - 03:40 AM Just watch out for Nurse Ratched - one scary lady - she'll put your recovery well back - mind you, that means more time on the IV so maybe it's not too bad. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Catherine Jayne Date: 07 May 04 - 05:50 AM Glad you are ok Jenny I hope the rest of the recovery is quick and relatively painless. I am ready to check out of here. My leg has healed well although there are some movement issues but they should resolve themselves. I still have alot of numbness in the muscles but thats becuase they had to cut through the nerves causing damage which is more than likely permanent. I have an apppointment with my consultant on the 20th May and hopefully he will give me the all clear and I won't have to go back for a while!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 07 May 04 - 06:38 AM Glad to hear that the Recovery Ward is working! I'll look into the ginko.... maybe that's why the dinosaurs died out, they forgot to eat it! My short term memory is nothing to do with too much gin (like there is such a thing!), but more to do with a chemical imbalance and a dicky ticker. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 07 May 04 - 12:42 PM Well Liz my dicky ticker started acting up this AM, I suffer from SVT, and usually it is under control with tablets. Anyway this morning it went off on one of it's overtime jaunts, running at 180 bpm, which makes your blood pressure drop and leaves you feeling dizzy. Usually it doesn't last too long but it went on for ages, and I called the Doc, he said "Come on down" so I went. Well he tried everything to slow it down but nothing was working so after 90mins he rang his friend the consultant cardiologist who said give him an injection of xxx [can't remember the name] followed by an injection of saline, that should give the mitral valve the required shock. Well the Doc then fitted me with a tap in a different vein nearer the heart, filled the syringe, went to get a student to see the procedure, and when he came back my heart had returned to normal. I was overjoyed as he'd previously warned me that the injection would make me feel terrible. PHEW!!! So I just bought a bottle of Bushmills 10 YO malt, can you plug it into the IV please, JGM |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,noddy Date: 11 May 04 - 11:51 AM See told you ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Dead Horse Date: 11 May 04 - 04:47 PM For all you transvestite fans, I just got fitted with my very own corset today. Unfortunately it has a tendency to push my pants down over my now non-existant hips. Mebbe I should get some suspenders attached? It does hold all my unsightly bulges in, and has the added advantage of providing near bullet-proof protection to areas that were previously extremely vulnerable. I will have to sew some pockets onto the contraption, large enough to accomodate a bottle or two, purely for medicinal purposes, you understand........ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Bat Goddess Date: 11 May 04 - 06:08 PM 'Mudge TRIED to check in here -- landed in York Hospital in the wilds of Maine for an overnight stay today instead. Observation and an antibiotic drip -- he'd really prefer Guinness. (Actually, when the nurse asked if she could get anything, he DID suggest a martini, which he hasn't had for awhile. It's acting like spring; maybe he's craving juniper.) Heart rate was a bit elevated too. (Martini would take care of THAT right fast!) I'll get a chance to recover sometime myself, I suppose. I'm no longer on the verge of being over-extended -- I'm actually there. Started screaming at the cats whose whining demands have pushed me over the edge. (Good thing I don't have kids!) Close to losing it over little things. Fortunately I have a doctor's appointment tomorrow morning; Tom suggested I ask for something to relax me a bit. Not too much, though, I've got waaaay too much still to do and have to keep a reasonably clear head. Spent too much time in traffic jams today, too. Is EVERY road in New England under construction?!? And the rush hour traffic coming out of Portsmouth started before 4 p.m. They even had Rte. 4 blocked off and detoured (right down the road I turn on to get home) when I got there -- I think there was a fire a bit further up the line. Phone machine beeping when I got home, cats screaming at me, phone ringing before I had all the stuff in my hands put down, trying to make a list of people I had to call first thing tomorrow morning . . . I really need that Tirconnel IV! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 11 May 04 - 08:13 PM Giok glad to hear you're plugged into that malt IV - I'll send my good friend the nurse around, for fun! best wishes freda |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 May 04 - 04:28 AM Oh Bat, pull up a bed and take it easy for an hour at least.... you need to take care of you too, before you end up in here on an extended stay. Tell your Dr everything... I found bursting into tears over him or fainting in the waiting room gets results! Just remember, left foot forward, right foot forward, breathe in, breathe out. Take care Batty. Dead Horse - a quote from my favourite film this year - 'You like pain? Try wearing a corset!' Suspenders (garter belts) are useful but put them UNDER your pants, it's easier in the long run. Giok - I hear where you're coming from!!! My dicky ticker refused to act up whilst under observation - yesterday it felt like a hamster in a wheel! Glad yours sorted itself. Right now, all IVs restocked, hospital corners tucked and hopefully brows soothed.... any more for any more? There's at least an hour before Nurse Ratched makes her rounds. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 12 May 04 - 05:06 AM Nurse Ratched has dropped in to my Mudcat photo site, and left a photo there, strangely. peculair looking woman, I must say. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 May 04 - 05:08 AM Maybe she's really this furry Dane everyone's been talking about.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 12 May 04 - 10:01 AM what is this, der.. refrain everyone's talking about? what is dis Dane? and fur what reason do we deign to refrain from disdain? has it gone down the furry drain? or has de Dane in Maine fallen mainly in de drain? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: MAG Date: 12 May 04 - 01:02 PM My kitty went blind, I have a bad cold, the vioxx isn't working as well on my arthritis. Can I drop in for some TLC? The boss from hell is going to be - well - hellish because I took a couple of days off. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 12 May 04 - 08:34 PM Kitties are made specially welcome, my own tortie is in the corner under the printer because she's not well. Funny how bosses never get ill isn't it? Hook your IV up to whatever tipple you prefer, lay back and relax.... breathe in, breathe out.... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 13 May 04 - 03:52 AM In out, in out, shake it all about. JGM |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: jacqui.c Date: 13 May 04 - 04:41 AM I'm on antibiotics as I've developed an infection in the foot they operated on. The antibiotics are giving me the most hellish headaches..... I know one shouldn't with antibiotics but PLEASE conect me to a nice dry white wine IV. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 02 Jun 04 - 05:36 AM Well I'm back in here again, after spending a jolly 24 hours in hospital hooked up to the mother of all tit tamper alarms - everytime my heartrate dipped below 60 an alarm went off. Every time it went below 45 a louder alarm went off.. I didn't get much sleep but the nurses got a lot of excercise running to see if I was dead yet. In the meantime, the poorly pussycat is also in hospital, eating chicken and annoying the vet. Consequently, I'm at home again, resting, bored witless and need cheering up because I haven't got my favourite pussy to stroke. Anyone for another IV of gin? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 02 Jun 04 - 06:15 AM I think you and I should work out some sort of heart-share programme Liz, mine gooes too fast, and yours goes too slow, surely the powers that be could work something out! Glad you're home though, and if you're feeling bored then you must be better. I trust Manitas is dancing attention on you, and indulging your every whim. While Limpit/Phoebe is being exceptionally well-behaved and angelic, just to help Mummy. Giok 'Gin; so much more than just a breakfast drink!' |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Bat Goddess Date: 02 Jun 04 - 09:20 AM I hesitated to post this here -- actually, I want to send the info to Cosy Sheridan; it's right up her alley for a song. (She's written songs about yeast infections, etc.) Anywho, I've spent the past month ferrying Tom to all his appointments with doctors, etc. He went back to work yesterday, but was home at noon -- the server was down and there was no work until it was fixed. So I let him make all the phone calls (on his behalf) that I thought I'd have to make yesterday. As it is, I still have to try to get in the queue again for some of them. (sigh.) Right after he got out of the hospital and visited the office of his primary care physician, I spotted a poster for a program for free pap tests and mammograms and asked how I got into the program (since it's been about 5 years for both because of no money and no insurance). Got an appointment right away (well, the next week) for a pap. Now THAT was an experience, an experience such as I'd never had before. The doctor kept jabbing me with the speculum, bruising delicate portions of my anatomy. She kept apologising, saying, "I'm not doing it on purpose." I told her I knew that -- if she was doing it on purpose, she'd have put the speculum in the freezer. Anyway, she finally gave up, saying she'd hurt me enough (I'll say!). She said she couldn't find my cervix. Now, I know I had one last time I checked. And, although I've spent a lot of time lately in hospitals, they usually ask before removing body parts. (You know, like maybe collateral for some of Tom's surgery.) I've never had a cervix go missing before. Anyway, she made another appointment for me the next week (and passed me off to another doctor, by the way). Next week, no major problem. She had to locate it manually before aiming the speculum in the right direction, but the test went off without a hitch. (Reassuring.) Then they made an appointment for a mammogram, which turned out to be sandwiched (excuse the term) between two appointments (in different towns, as was my mammogram) for Tom. So, Tom saw one of his cardiac guys in Portsmouth at 8:30, I had the mammogram in Somersworth (way north) at 10:40, and then back down to Dover for Tom to see his primary care guy. And I'd like to report that I had the most pleasant mammogram experience of my LIFE! It was at the Women's Life Imaging Center. Nice decor and ambience, very helpful clerical staff, not a lot of waiting, johnnies that actually FIT and overlapped so you weren't sitting around with your tits hanging out. The room itself was low lighted, the radiologist friendly, and the equipment must be new or something because it adjusted to MY body rather than the other way around. I didn't have to stand on tiptoe trying to twist my body into impossible contortions or anything. And the plates were body temperature, not cold. And it was quick. Then, on top of everything else, since it was the first time I'd been there, they gave me a "goodie" bag (expensive bag with logo stamped in gold) -- a couple heart-shaped chocolates in foil, an emery board with logo, a very nice pen (right, logo, too), a mirror compact with a logo, plus a bunch of informational booklets and a survey to fill out about the experience. Oh, now I was here on a free program, but there were also plenty of brochures about financial assistance for insurance-less women in plain view in every room and on the front desk What a difference from the last few mammograms I've had! (Albeit, they were over 5 years ago.) Is this a new trend or did I just luck out? Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 02 Jun 04 - 11:33 AM Maybe you've just got nice tits, and people treat them well. Or maybe you were just lucky. Either way I'm glad it was a nice experience, my other half hates going as she says it hurts. Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Bat Goddess Date: 02 Jun 04 - 01:03 PM This whole thing about mammograms started while several friends were waiting with me in the ICU waiting room while Tom was having his heart put back together. HE's having major heart surgery and we're discussing mammograms . . . One friend was at the hospital to have a mammogram and had come early to sit with me for awhile, and then she came back after the mammogram. Another friend with me had had a mammogram before going to El Salvador with the Peace Corps and then another one after she came home after two years. She said the most recent one was a lot more painful than the previous one. She and my other friend (who is a nurse) discussed current technology and whether the more recent ones are more painful or not. So, of course, after mine last Thursday I had to make a full report to both of them. When I reported to my friend the nurse, it was at a party this weekend, so we got a few other "reviews" from some of the other women there. With the current information in, I think I just lucked out as to WHERE the mammogram took place. The Women's Life Imaging Center not only has equipment that adjusts, etc. and is easier on women's bodies, but also has caring radiologists and great ambiance. Sure, when they took the films from the side, the machine squished my tit (and, remember, I'm "goddess shaped") a bit more, but it was mildly uncomfortable, not painful. If I have my druthers, that's the place I'll go back to, even if I have to pay for it! Linn |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 02 Jun 04 - 01:11 PM Do you know of any women who would pay me to squish their tits? Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 02 Jun 04 - 01:20 PM Thinking about that idea again, and I've decided I'd probably do it for free. *BG* Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: Liz the Squeak Date: 02 Jun 04 - 06:45 PM Giok, any fool boy can squish tits, it's learning how to squish them properly without hurting, pinching, squashing or bruising them..... Oh, and warming your hands properly first. I'll mention the 'heartshare' idea but I'm not sure how well it will go down... my arrhythmia is unusual in that it goes both fast and slow, so neither specific medication is going to do me much good! LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: open mike Date: 28 Aug 04 - 02:33 PM let the ward be re-opened, fresh flowers, full bottles for the IV (with liquid of your choice) live music, insence, pillows fluffed, massages, e-mail access, cake and ice cream (if not against doctor's orders) and finger food buffet on each tray table! welcome and be well, all!@ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:02 PM Has that Nurse Ratched gone? she frightens me! Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: freda underhill Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:36 PM no, she's still about! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: John MacKenzie Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:51 PM Quiver quiver!! Giok |
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Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Recovery Ward From: GUEST,nurse ratched Date: 28 Aug 04 - 03:57 PM ..Be afraid, Giok, be very afraid... n.r. |
