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Excellent Mudcat parody

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Cllr 28 Mar 09 - 10:06 AM
John MacKenzie 28 Mar 09 - 02:43 PM
Rifleman (inactive) 28 Mar 09 - 02:54 PM
John MacKenzie 28 Mar 09 - 02:59 PM
evansakes 28 Mar 09 - 03:08 PM
greg stephens 28 Mar 09 - 04:28 PM
The Borchester Echo 28 Mar 09 - 04:40 PM
Doug Chadwick 28 Mar 09 - 05:39 PM
Old Vermin 28 Mar 09 - 05:42 PM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 03:30 AM
evansakes 29 Mar 09 - 03:51 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 04:04 AM
GUEST,Ralphie 29 Mar 09 - 05:29 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 05:35 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 05:49 AM
GUEST 29 Mar 09 - 05:54 AM
Megan L 29 Mar 09 - 05:57 AM
treewind 29 Mar 09 - 06:08 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 06:21 AM
GUEST,A ragman 29 Mar 09 - 06:28 AM
John MacKenzie 29 Mar 09 - 06:34 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 08:27 AM
Gedi 29 Mar 09 - 08:40 AM
kendall 29 Mar 09 - 08:48 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 08:49 AM
NormanD 29 Mar 09 - 08:55 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 08:58 AM
Megan L 29 Mar 09 - 08:59 AM
evansakes 29 Mar 09 - 08:59 AM
manitas_at_work 29 Mar 09 - 09:01 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 09:01 AM
Megan L 29 Mar 09 - 09:08 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 09:13 AM
TheSnail 29 Mar 09 - 09:29 AM
Leadfingers 29 Mar 09 - 09:31 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 09:42 AM
John MacKenzie 29 Mar 09 - 09:51 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 09:54 AM
GUEST,Don Arsinane 29 Mar 09 - 10:09 AM
John MacKenzie 29 Mar 09 - 10:14 AM
GUEST,Ralphie 29 Mar 09 - 10:16 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 10:27 AM
NormanD 29 Mar 09 - 10:53 AM
GUEST,baz parkes 29 Mar 09 - 11:10 AM
TheSnail 29 Mar 09 - 11:10 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 11:14 AM
GUEST,Ralphie 29 Mar 09 - 11:35 AM
Folknacious 29 Mar 09 - 11:41 AM
The Sandman 29 Mar 09 - 11:42 AM
The Borchester Echo 29 Mar 09 - 11:42 AM
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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Cllr
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 10:06 AM

yes but look how meeting you effected them
rllc


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 02:43 PM

Jeer Posh Off


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Rifleman (inactive)
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 02:54 PM

"Clearly a wicked conspiracy between Diane and F.Ingnobody"

And what makes you think they're not the same person? *LOL*


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 02:59 PM

So GEFF means, Good Enough For Frank, then?


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: evansakes
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 03:08 PM

"And what makes you think they're not the same person?"

Simply because F. Ingnobody LIKES folk music


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: greg stephens
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 04:28 PM

Ever been sitting with a few mates having a quiet chat in a pub and some loud mouth comes in, sits at the table, monopolises the conversation and destroys the conviviality, so one by one you have slink away and go home?


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 04:40 PM

Frank likes folk music

Nah, course he doesn't or at least he hasn't time to decide whether he does or not because he has to do everything else himself.

Vermin's got the right idea though. Introduced to Lola Farjunk, local collector and archivist, he says: "Ah, you're one of those bodies who find the lives of us old ones so fascinating you jot it all down while your own life passes you by. Do you rate me as a bloke 'oos company you enjoy or as a rare sighting of an endangered species, a butterfly in need of pinning?"

Ms Farjun coughs and asks: "Could you tell me how your generation used to entertain yourselves of an evening?"

Vermin: "Bloody worries me the way you use the past tense. Well for a start we have a right good time spendin' the whole night down the pub dancing and singing without ever feeling the urge to bloomin' well talk about folk music".

(ex SR 15 Spring 1983)


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 05:39 PM

Well for a start we have a right good time spendin' the whole night down the pub dancing and singing ......

but, surely, you wouldn't approve Diane? He wasn't a professional and shouldn't have been allowed to enjoy himself singing and dancing. His amateurish attempts to sing in public would have given a bad name to traditional music.

DC


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Old Vermin
Date: 28 Mar 09 - 05:42 PM

Well, I shall take no notice of tha-at. I shall do what I damn' well want to. None of this arty-farty nonsense.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 03:30 AM

Mr Chadwick hasn't the faintest idea of that which I may or may not "approve", though had he actually read my previous contributions he might have had a slightly less muddled idea.

"Vermin" is representative of the old-style country singer or perhaps a traveller, an entirely separate concept to the lazy, incompetent "floor singer" who's learned (or hasn't) his/her material off a recording. It's only by sheer accident that Vermin has been dragged into a revivalist "f*lk club". Like my grandfather, his music was an essential part of his life, not an add-on hobby.

It's a slur to describe him as not a "professional" or "amateurish". He may or may not have been an "amateur", though, as he was clearly modelled on Fred Jordan, he would probably have been paid sometimes. And have you ever witnessed travellers (because that's about all that's left who still do this) performing their handed-down repertoires? I think not, or you wouldn't have the temerity to look down on them with such bourgeois sneering. They don't label their music "traditional", it's simply what they do because it's theirs. Nor would they ever dream of referring to themselves by the poncy term "source singer", beloved of the faux cognoscenti.

The entirely artificial environment of a revivalist venue is a wholly different matter. It is a public place of entertainment in which representations of what used to be is re-enacted, or better still, reinterpreted and rearranged, for a paying audience. It is (or should be) a showcase where the uninitiated can get a glimpse into a bygone culture (because that world no longer exists and in many instances never did).

The all-too-common practice of allowing incapable (or not yet proficient) people onstage in public to perform really badly serves to reinforce the perception out there among the "normals" that "f*lk" is a joke. That is what Borfolk lampoons again and again. Frank was trying (and lamentably failing) to do it better.

It's been said over and over again (and not just by me) that the experience of bringing new people along to a club night has been a dreadful mistake of toe-curling embarrassment which has resulted only in turning them off the genre for life, having had all their prejudices confirmed. It's not (and never really has been) the way to go. Borfolk illustrates this and what's scary (and no longer all that funny) is that things are not changing - or at least not nearly quickly enough.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: evansakes
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 03:51 AM

blah blah blah faux cognoscenti blah blah blah.

Oh, DO give it a rest, Frank. This gross caricature alter ego of yours parodying a neo-fundamentalist folkie has now been sussed by pretty much all and sundry.

It will get to the point soon where it won't even be funny anymore...


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 04:04 AM

Those who know Lawrence Heath and who also know me are more than fully aware that we are not one and the same. For a start, he does infinitely more than I do in practical terms to try and redress the balance of ignorance in "f*lky never-never land". He's tireless and infinitely more patient than I am.

I merely observe and comment. Because I can. For a start, I advise that twicky person to get back to hoeing his cabbages.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 05:29 AM

Well. I know Mr Heath very well.
And I am sure that his opinion would be diametrically opposite to that espoused by Diane.
It's a joke......Either appreciate it or let it go.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 05:35 AM

That depends on whether you are equating L Heath's outlook with that of "Frank".
If anyone is they must be terminally bonkers.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 05:49 AM

. . . f'rinstance: the twickyperson is associated with a venue way out on London's western fringes (known somewhat improbably as The Cabbage Field or something) where I went a few times several years ago when I really, really wanted to see an artist. I moved to the other side of the capital and have never been since. Twicky puts about a rumour that I'm boycotting the place. I actually never think back on it, though I do recall it wasn't much worse than many another, though I qlearned rapidly to behave like a Borfolk audience and stick to the bar except when the guest was on. To put it ever more clearly and bluntly, venues shouldn't be like this. It shows disrespect to the music, to the artists who care about it, and to the audience.

I've known Lawrence Heath (quite vaguely) for over 30 years. But I know very well what he does and I admire his patience and tenacity. I fear his Borfolk pisstaking has been far too gentle though as the dire scenario depicted is still all too prevalent and his cringeworthy characters still abound.

Comes, presumably, of a literacy deficiency.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 05:54 AM

Now, now, children!

(for the record I know Lawrence Heath, Ralphie and Diane and can assure any interested parties that they are all different people. I've even seen the latter two together. We're all friends really, I hope)

I can't say if I've met Frank....

Love and peace to you all!
Anahata


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Megan L
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 05:57 AM

Thoroughly enjoyed the parody but then I am a poor mortal who doesnt pretend to be more than they are and can take pleasure in gentle humour


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: treewind
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 06:08 AM

Oops! lost my cookie!
Found my cookie!
A.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 06:21 AM

Ooh, is this a new game? It's much better than anagrams.
I've seen Anahata and Ralph in the same frame together. Likewise A and I have exchanged a word (and beer) or three on occasion. R might have been there too, though he might deny it. Many people might have spied me and L. Heath consorting quite openly in a public place.

I've re-read my post of 0330 feline time and, though not monosyllabic, it is oh so very explanatory and (I think) rather good. Do try and get through it. Dictionaries are available.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: GUEST,A ragman
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 06:28 AM

I am new to mudcat and am finding this all very interesting.

As I say, I am new here and do not understand all of the conventions. For example – on the forum home page where it shows the number of postings to a thread some of the numbers have a "d" next to them. Does this mean that Diane Easby has contributed and are therefore to be avoided?

;-)


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 06:34 AM

Oooh


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 08:27 AM

While I have decided that there's really not a pressing need to intrude telephonically on the good Mr Heath's Sunday merely to check on just how exactly his assessment of the current state of musbiz coincides with mine, it will surely be raised next time we're in contact.

Sadly, the day when this ceases to be an issue is still far from dawning, though I hope not to experience too many Borfolk moments when Leon Rosselson comes to Walthamstow tonight.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Gedi
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 08:40 AM

I'm new to this anagram thing.

Ms Easby, If your not F.Ingnobody they surely you must be Linda Snell?

I just love guessing games....


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: kendall
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 08:48 AM

Old Maine saying, "Brevity is the soul of wit."


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 08:49 AM

Ruth Archer, who has wisely kept out of this moronic thread, woud be able (since she is acquainted) to advise you that I am not LYNDA SNELL (for that is how she is spelled).

[Which information has nothing whatsoever to do with the topic. Had you dragged in the Grundys or the departed Tom Forrest, there might have been a teensy smidgeon of a point].


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: NormanD
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 08:55 AM

Diane E: "I hope not to experience too many Borfolk moments when Leon Rosselson comes to Walthamstow tonight."

Walthamstow tonight? he must be a fast traveller. I'm sitting looking at a leaflet advertising him at The Tricycle Theatre (Kilburn) tonight at 7.30, along with Robb Johnson, Frankie Armstrong, etc.
By the way, has anyone seen this? It's a funny parody of Mudcat although I think this thread is much more hilarious.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 08:58 AM

Norman, you're quite right. I just have his name on the calendar. You've reminded me to turn West rather than East when I set off later on. Thanks.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Megan L
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 08:59 AM

Do keep up dear boy its that parody that has her twistin her frillies. :)


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: evansakes
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 08:59 AM

"Twicky puts about a rumour that I'm boycotting the place"

Cough! Splutter! Eh?

I might've said at one point that we'd need to make special arrangements to tie up your high horse in the yard (and take the doors off their hinges to ensure easy access for the uppermost part of your body). Beyond that your money is as good as anyone else's as far as we're concerned. It's the Askews tonight.

ps How's the weather today up there in cloud cuckoo land?


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: manitas_at_work
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:01 AM

Full circle already? The mind boggles! Perhaps we should spend some time discussing this and try to identify which of us are being lampooned (in particular that is).


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:01 AM

Keep up yerself.

I was reading Borfolk 30 years ago and didn't just come across it yesterday.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Megan L
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:08 AM

What are you wittering about you foolish woman my comment was to Norman (a mans name) hence the dear boy but if the jock strap fits hen then you wear it. Noo awa an pit on yer make up or somethin ahm sure there must be some bags o Portland blue cirle still tae be found.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:13 AM

In reply (I think) to the post above written in a previously undiscovered primitive language) I know very well who Norman is.
You, however, are clearly unaware that Southern Rag commenced publication in 1979.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: TheSnail
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:29 AM

I'd just like to say that Old Vermin is an old friend of mine and that we have exchanged poached pheasants, snared rabbits, dynamited salmon, beer, songs and fleas for many years. His day job is Professor of Biomusicology at Borchester University.

I'd like to say that but....


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Leadfingers
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:31 AM

Funny Idea I just had ! We havent had so much repetitive twaddle since the good old days of S******s .




(Or some OTHER street in York)


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:42 AM

Borchester University

Professor Valiant has asked me to point out that his seat of learning is Borcestershire University and that he is not a character in a radio soap which other contributors have persisted in referring to erroneously.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:51 AM

Reality is an illusion, brought on by lack of alcohol.


Diane,as you are certainly well aware. Megan is posting in her native Scots tongue. For you to wilfully misunderstand her, and to respond with the remarks you did, is dangerously close to racism.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 09:54 AM

Yes, you're right.
Time for a pint of Old Vermin.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: GUEST,Don Arsinane
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 10:09 AM

What's happened to Mick Slide? He's gone very quiet. Maybe the drugs finally kicked in?


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 10:14 AM

This might explain why Don.




"Subject: RE: BS: Fred Goodwin's home attacked - hahaha!
From: Captain Birdseye - PM
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 07:17 AM

I am the Quiet Man .


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 10:16 AM

Well. this is all jolly good pointless fun.
Ridiculous rants from Diane. (thats ridiculous with a capital R)
Interesting ripostes from all and sundry.
And all about a gentle comic website, that never set out to be anyhing other than that!
Coudn't make it up, could you?
I'm off to get my sense of humour bypass renewed...
Bye Bye
Ralphie


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 10:27 AM

Meanwhile, down at the Swiggin' Pig . . .

Oi landlord, don't let that Ralph have any more Old Vermin.
It screws up his medication y'know.
He's supposed to be on next . . . Frank, stop him . . .


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: NormanD
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 10:53 AM

I wrote earlier:
"By the way, has anyone seen this? It's a funny parody of Mudcat although I think this thread is much more hilarious."

To which Megan L speedily replied:
"Do keep up dear boy its that parody that has her twistin her frillies. :)"

Perhaps I should have put a little face at the end of my posting to denote that I was taking the piss.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: GUEST,baz parkes
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:10 AM

It's been a fantastic spectator sport, but I'm just a little disappointed that nobody from E-coli has joined in the scrap here.

We're here...don'tyou worry...just biding our time...

Isn't it about time somebody mentioned the BBC board...

Baz

Who can't be arsed to do an anagram...


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: TheSnail
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:10 AM

Diane Easby

Professor Valiant has asked me to point out that his seat of learning is Borcestershire University

Ha! Exposed yourself as a fraud there, Diane. The revered professor would never be associated with the upstart Borcestershire University (previosly Borcestershire Polytechnic) which has the temerity to compare itself with that ancient seat of learning Borchester University.

Hilarious thread. Haven't laughed so much since I heard Fred Jordan sing The Fields of Athenry.

Must away to the new session at The Royal Oak, Lewes.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:14 AM

Perhaps you should, Norman, but I doubt if it would have helped in the face of terminal dimness.



Meanwhile, especially for ralph (with a small r), here's a real rant from Borfolk in 1982:

After a guest night, Frank is confronted by his fellow organisers.

F: But don't we want to encourage new singers?

The Committee: Yes but folk singers, Frank, not people who sing meaningless drivel about being out of work or performing pop songs you can hear normal people singing every day. What's more, some of these kids can't sing. Goodness knows, the club's becoming too popular, there are too many floor singers already. Sometimes we have so many the guest can't be fitted in. Some of the audience go so far as to ask for their money back. Just shows they're not here for the music, just the name. The trouble is that your policy of booking professionals has got people coming along every week expecting to be entertained. I ask you, really. We realise that you're only booking these big names to ingratiate yourself with the famous. The fact that they attract big crowds holds no sway with us. In fact these new faces in the audience put our residents off. The club's not the private gathering of friends it used to be. Talking of which, one of your guests suggested that the residents could stand down. But we are the club! The members expect our half hour slot to start the night. We have to run late 'cos the audience always roll up exactly half an hour late. I don't know why.

F: But I reckon you should stand down occasionally.

The Committee: I see, getting personal, eh. Well Mr F Ingnobody, you can take yourself and your megastars elsewhere and never darken Borfolk's door again.



Is this the end of Frank? Is this the last of Borfolk? Who knows? Who cares?


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:35 AM

Diane
Life A Get
You sort out the anangram.


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: Folknacious
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:41 AM

Borfolk always did have the world's biggest speech bubbles. So that's where Diane Easby did her apprenticeship. ;-)


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Sandman
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:42 AM

299


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Subject: RE: Excellent Mudcat parody
From: The Borchester Echo
Date: 29 Mar 09 - 11:42 AM

Well, well, I thought it was you that found Borfolk funny (as opposed to tragically still true today), and my retelling of the demise of Frank was purely to amuse you.

Oh dear . . .

(And I can spell 'anagram', even if I don't waste time doing them).


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