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BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town
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Subject: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Apr 09 - 04:19 PM Police reports are mostly serious incidents, but in our small town, the local paper prints police reports that are often the funniest thing in the newspaper. From the weekend, we have this police report: "A man at Greenbelt Drive heard his stolen antlers had been located and wanted them back." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Apr 09 - 04:20 PM and this one... "An intoxicated woman called to report that she was locked out of her house. She was instructed to stay with a friend and call a locksmith in the morning." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Melissa Date: 27 Apr 09 - 04:46 PM One of my favorites was a Raid/Bust where they confiscated marijuana. The marijuana was growing along fencerows and they pulled it up, put it in the trunk of a police car..took a picture. Front page headline: "Street Value, $10,000" Ditchweed is not exactly a big discovery in this area. I guess it isn't a very funny story..but I sure do laugh about it and have for a long time. Ten thousand dollar value on a trunk full of headache.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Rapparee Date: 27 Apr 09 - 04:52 PM I got an email a couple years ago from the local PD: "Thanks to all who helped get the dead cow out of the river." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: frogprince Date: 27 Apr 09 - 04:54 PM It's several years since the paper in our itty-bitty "city" reported that the police were looking for a male who entered a local store and exposed the bra and panties he was wearing. I always wondered what they intended to charge him with; there was no apparent implication that he exposed any "naughty bits". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Wesley S Date: 27 Apr 09 - 05:03 PM My old hometown of Largo Florida had a story that made the national news. It seems like a very drunk man called 911 to report that he was surrounded by the police and could they please send some help? The 911 operator said she could hear the officers laughing in the background. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Apr 09 - 05:07 PM Today at lunch I heard the conversation at the next table. It's what made me think of our funny police reports: Someone called 911 and asked, "When is it going to stop snowing?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 27 Apr 09 - 05:18 PM A few weeks ago, police here in Pensacola were pursuing a fleeing thief who had robbed a convenience store. They received an unexpected assist in the capture when the fleeing felon's pants fell down during the chase, causing him to fall flat on his face in the street. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Sorcha Date: 27 Apr 09 - 05:24 PM Dang! I can't REMEMBER any...you'd think I could, I hear enough of them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Apr 09 - 06:08 PM An accidental 911 call was received and upon follow up, the man who had called said "his butt dialed." -A woman called about a stuffed Easter bunny in the middle of 19th Avenue. She was concerned someone would try to get the bunny and be hit by a car. A man who appeared to be passed out in a vehicle on North Seventh Avenue was just taking a nap between making deliveries. - Two cows in a driveway on Norris Road were headed for the road around 9:30 a.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Apr 09 - 06:10 PM Thursday February 26, 2009 - A resident of South Third Avenue wanted to speak with an officer regarding a mouse she had found in her kitchen. --- (I wonder what the mouse was doing.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: frogprince Date: 27 Apr 09 - 06:22 PM The same summer as the undies incident, several customers who bought clothing at another local store reported finding dirty polaroid photos in the pockets. Never heard just how dirty, nor any indication of whodunit. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Jack Campin Date: 27 Apr 09 - 06:39 PM Metro, Dec 18, 2007 I won't gravel, but I just couldn't kerb my feelings =================================== A teenager who tried to have sex with a pavement claimed yesterday it was a drunken prank. Motorists looked on in amazement as Steven Marshall took down his trousers before starting to simulate sexual intercourse. The 18-year-old also exposed himself and carried out a sex act in view of a female taxi driver in his home town of Galashiels in the Borders. Marshall admitted a charge of public indecency yesterday at Selkirk Sheriff Court wand was put on probation for 12 months. But his lawyer argued there was not a significant sexual aspect to the case. As a result, Sheriff Kevin Drummond decided not to place Marshall's name on the Sex Offenders Register, although he described his behavious as "bizarre". Mark Harrower, defending, told the court: "He is a perfectly normal 18-year-old but he does have this arthritis condition which troubles him and requires medication, while he was drinking alcohol to excess". He said the offence was more of a prank in front of his friends after drinking half a litre of vodka and there was not a "significant sexual aspect" to the case which would result in registration. "He does appear to be very ashamed about it and very shocked at his behaviour". But Sheriff Drummond said: "This is bizarre. "Anyone who lies on the road in the daylight, is significantly intoxicated and is partially undressed has a problem." However, he added, "This was plainly a drunken episode in which caused distress to members of the public but I acceot that your behaviour was not primarily sexually motivated." Describing the offence, procurator fiscal Graham Fraser said the incident came to light as two people drove past Marshall. He said: "They could see his trousers were down to his knees. "When the woman looked back, he had turned on to his front and was in the press-up position on the pavement simulating sexual intercourse." Mr Fraser said there was no evidence of children being around at the time of the offence and there was concern for his safety when he was lying on the road. Marshall pleaded guilty to committing an offence of public indecency in Galashiels on June 17. [Not much point in making it a Song Challenge since the Beatles already got there. However, Selkirk was the court where Walter Scott presided as a justice, so maybe something in the style of the Minstrelsy of the Scottish Border or the Lay of the Last Minstrel? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Ebbie Date: 27 Apr 09 - 06:49 PM About 10 years ago a Juneau woman picked up a totally naked man who was walking along the roadway and brought him downtown to his clothes. When she was asked how she had dared pick him up she replied that she could see he was unarmed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: ClaireBear Date: 27 Apr 09 - 07:11 PM In general, the local paper's "Cops and Courts" column is depressingly free of diverting crime reports. there are, however, occasional departures from the norm...like this one: "The Sheriff's Office reported today that there's nothing new in the search for the naked man seen posing like Superman near Aptos High School." Here's another from the paper's online blog: "Two guys who live up in the Soquel hills near the Summit got into it last night — while one piloted a backhoe and the other drove the "ranch car," a 1985 yellow Cadillac DeVille. They banged the vehicles into each other for a bit, then got into a fist fight, according to the Sheriff's Office. The guy in the Caddy managed to get away, hopped on a four-wheeler and rode it down to Soquel San Jose Road, where he called 911. They took the other guy to jail for assault with a deadly weapon — the backhoe. Believe it or not, deputies say alcohol was involved." Claire |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 27 Apr 09 - 07:41 PM From the Rochester (NH) Times: Rochester police log - 3/29/09 to 4/5/09 Thursday, April 16, 2009 ROCHESTER — The following items, based on entries in the Rochester Police Log, were selected from 1,206 calls for service from March 29 to April 5: Sunday, March 29 12:26 a.m. — There's five people fighting on Little Falls Bridge Road, there's wrestling and yelling and smashing of glass, the police race round quickly despite a big workload, but no one will talk — what a pain in the neck. 12:41 a.m. — Vehicles have been freshly egged in the Winkley Farm Lane area. 12:56 a.m. — As a motorist drives near the airport, a gentleman in a ball cap and baggy pants runs out into the road, causing her to swerve. 1:54 a.m. — Near Shoreyville Plaza a 16-year-old is taken into protective custody; Timothy R. Balch, 19, of 154 Meaderboro Road, is charged with drug possession. 2:05 a.m. — Teens party too loudly in a Wakefield Street apartment. 3:29 a.m. — Ashley Razillard, 19, of 60 Young St., Barrington, is charged with driving after suspension and suspended registration. 8:35 a.m. — A Moose Lane resident has been stuck with a fraudulent check for $3,800 by an acquaintance. 8:36 a.m. — A Strafford Road boxer named Bauer's been missing for hours and hours. When the owner calls May Day, it's caught by the lady who controls all the city's bow-wowwers. 9:25 a.m. — A spate of shot-out windows are reported. 2:47 p.m. — On Franklin Street dogs fight, and owners get into a spat. 7:07 p.m. — A bike has been stolen from Roseberry Lane. 7:53 p.m. — At the station, a woman reports that she went home "to find a condom with fluid on the door handle of her residence." She lacks rubber gloves and doesn't want to touch it. Police remove the item and throw it away. These reports are compiled by former Mudcatter, John Nolan, and are worth reading on a bi-weekly basis - Tom |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 27 Apr 09 - 07:43 PM The URL for the Rochester Times is: http://www.fosters.com/apps/pbcs.dll/section?category=ROCTIMES Scroll down for "Police Logs." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Ed T Date: 27 Apr 09 - 08:24 PM Halifax police hunt serial bum-grabber Charles Mandel, CanWest News Service Published: Friday, August 10, 2007 Experts are warning that a butt-grabbing bike rider who has sexually assaulted at least eight women in Halifax in recent months might become even more aggressive. Because the individual has repeatedly struck despite attention from police and the media, it is likely he will "up the ante,'' said Brad Kelln, a clinical and forensic psychologist and professor at Dalhousie University in Halifax. "That suggests to me the person is really having great difficulty controlling the behaviour,'' Kelln said. The suspect -- who has struck throughout central Halifax at night -- rides up behind his victims and gropes them in the buttocks. In two instances, he has also assaulted women and in several cases he tried to strike up conversations with them. Kelln said such offenders often first work up their courage to commit their crime even though they're aware it's wrong and could carry consequences. But as they get away with their deviance each successive time, they become bolder and may well "up the ante so that other behaviours will follow." William Pitt, a criminologist at the University of Alberta in Edmonton, agreed the bike rider could become more extreme in his behaviour. "Is there a concern? Yes. Is it possible it will accelerate? Yes." Halifax police seized a bicycle early Wednesday from a man matching the description of the rider, but the individual bolted through neighbouring backyards. The suspect is described as a white male in his mid-20s with short hair and an average build. Losing his bike may not necessarily stop the man, Pitt said. "The sexual drive is very strong. He'll use whatever means it takes to satisfy his deviancy." © The Calgary Herald 2007 |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Rapparee Date: 27 Apr 09 - 09:36 PM January 3, 1916: a man is arrested for stealing coal; he is also cnk. Sentence: $10. May 3, 1916: A man is arrested for exceeding the speed limit on Main Street on his horse. Fined $25. July 1, 1916: three boys are arrested for breaking light globes with rocks. Sentence: Pay for the globes and be turned over to their parents. August 15, 1918. Six people are arrested for fornication at the St. Marie's Hotel. Dismissed for "shortage of evidence." October 3, 1918. A unidentified man is arrested for "dementia." To leave town by 6 p.m. October 4, 1918. A man is arrested for using foul language in front of a woman. Sentence: $5 fine. November 10, 1918. A man is arrested for desertion from the Army. Turned over to the Army. November 11, 1918. Several people are arrested for discharging firearms into the air, drunkeness, disturbing the peace and "rowdiness." Cases are dismissed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Apr 09 - 09:46 PM A caller reported seeing a vehicle driving westbound on West Garfield Street with a hand sticking out of the trunk. A Montana Highway Patrol officer said he'd seen the same vehicle with a rubber arm hanging out of it last week. - A sleepy-sounding man told a dispatcher that he had rolled over onto his phone in his sleep and inadvertently dialed 911. There was no emergency. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Apr 09 - 10:04 PM - A kid wanted to know how to handle his little brother bothering him without resorting to violence. * A resident of Ravalli Street said her upstairs neighbors were "jumping up and down and causing her pictures on her wall to move." The upstairs neighbors were playing a board game and were warned by police. - A resident of South Third Avenue reported that someone had driven through her yard and drove over a 10-foot tree sometime during the night. She thought the culprit might have been trying to hit a snowman in the yard. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 28 Apr 09 - 10:56 AM from Sunday reports, * Officers, responding to a report of a group of suspicious men in front of a bar on East Main Street, found they were having a rap competition. * A man called 911 because he and his roommate's girlfriend were arguing about toilet paper. The two were given a warning. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Riginslinger Date: 28 Apr 09 - 10:45 PM Mudcatters need to compile a book. This is amazing material. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 28 Apr 09 - 10:50 PM Looking back at these reports, it makes me smile, having my home town be so non-violent that the police reports are about snowmen, board games, and toilet paper. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 28 Apr 09 - 11:06 PM Disorderly conduct at the Greentree Apartments reported Sunday when a man kept "pleading for his girlfriend to come back". Officers told the man to go home. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: katlaughing Date: 28 Apr 09 - 11:17 PM This one was rather cheeky: Yard-sale trio ticketed It's expected that people will have yard sales this time of year — but not in someone else's yard. Mesa County Sheriff's Department deputies responded to a report from the 300 block of Rosevale Drive that three people were camping in a woman's yard and holding a sale there Thursday. The three were issued trespass notices and told by police not to return, according to the Mesa County Sheriff's Department |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 28 Apr 09 - 11:18 PM • A woman called from Whitehall to say her husband had left from Pipestone without her early Saturday morning. She was riding in the back of his semi cab when they stopped in Pipestone, and he apparently didn't realize she had got out of the vehicle. She asked deputies to watch the truck stops around Bozeman and alert him of her absence. • A "concerned citizen" reported late Saturday that the coffee pot in Columbia Paint Store was on, but no one from the store could be located. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 28 Apr 09 - 11:22 PM • A woman reported Tuesday a man who continually calls her, sends flowers, writes letters and gives her meat. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 29 Apr 09 - 10:33 AM from today's paper.... * Someone sealed all the drains of the washers and dryers in the laundry room of a building on South Black Avenue with spray foam insulation. * * A pedestrian on West Main Street reported that a pigeon appeared to be stuck between a shade and window on the second floor above Cactus Records. * A woman who was asking residents of an apartment building on South 15th Avenue strange questions turned out to be working for the U.S. Census Bureau. * A deputy interviewed three people, including two girls who were "stoned," on Happy Lane around 11:30 a.m. The deputy found three pipes and a bag of "what appeared to be marijuana" in the girls' vehicle. (so that's why they call it Happy Lane) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 28 May 09 - 08:32 PM from today's paper.... A farmer was injured after a bull sat on him around 2:30 p.m. -- A man tried to pay his bill with a "ridiculously fake $100 bill" at an establishment on East Main Street. The bill was later determined to be genuine. -- A woman received a movie in the mail from a man she didn't know. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 29 May 09 - 12:00 AM From Tuesday this week.... - A woman reported that while she was on the phone with her boyfriend, who was celebrating his 21st birthday, he said he needed to vomit, stepped away from the phone and never came back. Officers went to the man's home to check on him, but could not locate him. From last Saturday.... - An individual contacted police with questions about transporting a rifle while riding a bicycle. From last Monday.... - An intoxicated man drinking a can of chicken noodle soup walked into a residence he thought was his on Olive Street and politely left when asked. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 29 May 09 - 09:32 AM * A man was yelling "Rosie" for at least 10 minutes just before midnight in Kountz Trailer Park on Huffine Lane. (there's a song in there somewhere) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: GUEST,melinda Date: 29 May 09 - 01:49 PM In my town at different times, police responded to a "possible untimely" and a complaint about a "funny smell," were on the lookout for "two white men and a caucasian," and when someone tried to hold up the Chinese restaurant, there were four cops having dinner there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 29 May 09 - 03:44 PM "two white men and a caucasian".... oh.. my... gawd |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 31 May 09 - 12:53 PM * Six young men were walking down Meagher Avenue yelling profanities around 11 p.m. They were playing "Dragnet." * Officers responded to a report of "a million people" outside a residence on Koch Street causing a lot of noise around 12:30 a.m. They found three people outside "chatting quietly." * A woman complained that buffalo were being hazed onto her property on Lakeside Road around 10 a.m. * A resident of Horse Butte also said buffalo were being hazed onto his property. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: wysiwyg Date: 31 May 09 - 01:17 PM A lot of the ones here seem funny until you realize they are part of a culture that takes them quite seriously. It's easy to mock a culture one does not understand. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies) Date: 31 May 09 - 01:30 PM Which cultures? Don't understand that comment. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: GUEST,Ted Date: 31 May 09 - 01:36 PM Last year a local Irish newspaper had a featured article headlined 'Last Chance to Enter Miss Leitrim'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: wysiwyg Date: 31 May 09 - 01:43 PM I reacted poorly to a police report item I saw as coming from what some folks call "Hillbilly" or "White Trash" or "Rural" culture. Some of the police reports referenced, tho not using those terms, clearly reflect that culture. I live in that culture. I work in that culture, in many ways that require respect for that culture. Sometimes my advocacy can be "mother bear" type. It's a continuing pattern at Mudcat, but because it does not feature color-racism, it usually passes without comment. I have written extensively about this culture, but I still react poorly when I see how poorly it is understood. It's largely a matter of unexamined class stereotypes. BTW we have other members steeped in those cultures, who I (and many others) admire. Older, wiser, and a lot nicer than I am. With apologies, ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 31 May 09 - 05:12 PM - A 911 call from a home on Eustis Road at 6:31 p.m. was made by a 6-year-old girl, who told deputies she was "just practicing." - Just after midnight, multiple people came very close to fighting over multiple things on Highland Boulevard. And a call from around Christmas time last year: - A caller on North Fourth Avenue complained that a car was parked in front of her home for 45 minutes with its lights on. The couple inside were exchanging gifts in the car because the woman was allergic to the man's house cat. (Wow! That's my street! It's only 2 blocks long... I wonder who that was). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 01 Jun 09 - 05:05 PM - A resident of Finnegan Lane reported that his neighbor's dog was chasing his llamas. - A man entered a bank on North 19th Avenue at 10:12 a.m. and asked to see money. He looked at the bills, holding them up to the light and then left. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Bainbo Date: 01 Jun 09 - 08:47 PM We had a guy who lifted a manhole cover so he could throw it through Woolworths' window. He lifted it over his head, overbalanced, and fell back into the uncovered manhole. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Leadfingers Date: 01 Jun 09 - 09:15 PM Sadly neither the police nor the local paper here seem to have any ability to produce anything of a similar standard . Thats in Hayes West London UK |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 01 Jun 09 - 10:30 PM - A caller wanted to know how he could evict his live-in girlfriend from his house. Deputies advised him to ask her to leave. - A deputy responded to a report of a naked person lying on the interstate near Manhattan. The deputy discovered that it was not a person. It was a blowup doll. - A man on West Babcock Street complained to police about a person accusing him of pointing his finger at a person. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 01 Jun 09 - 10:31 PM (That's Manhattan, Montana, by the way). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 01 Jun 09 - 10:34 PM All on the same day shortly before 4th of July: A golf cart on McIlhattan Road was damaged with a sparkler bomb. A sparkler bomb was detonated in a concession stand at a park on Cottonwood Road. The explosive destroyed kitchen appliances and damaged the building. A portable toilet on Ellis Street was destroyed with a fireworks bomb. A garbage can on Third Avenue was burned with a sparkler bomb. A deputy picked up a pistol found on Jackrabbit Lane. A stuffed animal with a fuse coming out of it was found along the frontage road. It was a sparkler bomb. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 01 Jun 09 - 10:44 PM Two people on Gallatin Road were arguing about whose kid could beat up the other's kid. A man from Italy was trying to make a U-turn on North Seventh Avenue. He had no experience driving larger American vehicles. He was given some lessons. A couple got in an argument and started to push each other. The people were intoxicated and couldn't remember who started the fight. The couple agreed to go to sleep because nobody was sober enough to drive and finish their argument the next day when they're sober. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 03 Jun 09 - 02:37 PM From this morning: * Two men tried to come into a house on Cottonwood Road with laundry detergent and were acting very strange. * A couple that appeared to be fighting when the man threw the woman's purse out of a vehicle on Meagher Avenue were "apparently playing around." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 04 Jun 09 - 01:56 PM - A suspicious man with a backpack was reported at Grotto Falls, acting strangely and wearing numerous watches and bracelets. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Mr Red Date: 05 Jun 09 - 08:09 AM on the subject of culture - As an electronic engineer I hear all sorts of jokes that connect things like silicon and silicone with "silly" this or that. They are not funny to me but I see where they are coming from. It is a fine line between odd = funny and sensibilities. If humour cannot highlight the ideosynchracies of our world there is something impoverished about it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 05 Jun 09 - 09:23 AM At 8:11 a.m., a man was given a verbal warming for using profanities on checks issued to the city. A caller said a kid dressed in black was ringing a doorbell and shooting fireworks at the caller's house. The caller's daughter chased him down. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 05 Jun 09 - 10:26 AM A few from The Rochester (NH) Times: 12:31 a.m. — A cow is reported in the middle of Old Dover Road. A motorist steers clear. 11:48 a.m. — A shirtless man on the Square appears to have a rifle. The rights to bare arms and bear arms? 12:26 p.m. — On North Main Street, motorists have to dodge the darting ducklings. 5:35 p.m. — A "rapid" fox is spotted near Allen School. It quickly disappears. 10:16 p.m. — A man with a goatee and a bandage on his knee is still prowling around Capital Circle, despite the gift of a ham sandwich and an entreaty to go away. 11:11 p.m. — There is a Peeping Tom at Amazon Campground. Friday, May 22 2:28 a.m. — At Willowbrook Apartments, yelling and rock-throwing is just a misunderstanding. 9:20 a.m. — At Stonewall Kitchen there's a large black bear. It has already charged at one of Lambert's Salvage employees. It pads off ere police arrive. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 05 Jun 09 - 10:29 AM "It pads off ere police arrive." LOL Love that! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 06 Jun 09 - 12:21 PM * An officer responded to a report of an injured baby crow in a man's backyard. The crow was examined by a vet, got a clean bill of health and was returned to the nest. * Three people were reported jumping on and damaging a car along West College Street. Officers found that the car was a junk vehicle that belonged to one of the people and the group was filming the destruction. * A deputy stopped along West Main Street for what looked like a citizen flagging him down. It turned out to be a student waving at random motorists. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 12 Jun 09 - 12:10 AM - A boy's bicycle was stolen from a home on Michael Grove Avenue and a girl's bike was left in its place. - A man reported that his wife was spending his money around town. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 12 Jun 09 - 12:12 AM - A woman was unhappy with her husband's comments about her after she started a grease fire in a pan while "trying to fry chicken livers in a moderate state of inebriation" around 2 a.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 12 Jun 09 - 09:49 AM Saturday, May 23 9:42 a.m. — At the station, a lady reports that a gentleman against whom she has a no contact order, yelled oxymoronically, "Don't worry, I won't say anything," as they passed in Walmart. 2:00 p.m. — Police track down a suspected DWI, swerving all over Ten Rod Road. There was indeed a drink problem. A kid had dropped a milkshake in the vehicle. 6:35 p.m. — A six-foot tall bald man is running on Ten Rod Road with his pants undone. Police are there in a flash but see nothing. 8:17 p.m. — A lady is refusing to let a gentleman leave a room at Hi-Vu Motor Inn and has reportedly shoved him. During a second call, during which the man gains his freedom, dispatch hears "Bring me the money you owe me," yelled, while a door slams. Liberated, the man no longer cares about the shove. 9:21 p.m. — A man, possibly from the Lone Star State, calls to report a message he received from Rochester in which someone threatens to shoot him in the head and (redundantly) push his wheelchair off a cliff. He is advised to contact police in Victoria, Texas, whereupon he says he will ask the FBI to get involved. Sunday, May 24 9:49 a.m. — In the lobby, a man reports that a friend punched him in the face, threw him downstairs and kicked him out of his own apartment. Fortunately, enemies were not involved. 11:37 p.m. — On Cove Court, a man registers his distress at a breakup with his girlfriend by smashing her windows out with his fist. Monday, May 25. 6:28 p.m. — A Brock Street woman wants her husband's friend removed, but says her husband wants his friend to stay, Drink's involved and possibly is disapproved, No prob., says friend, I'm leaving anyway. Tuesday, May 26 12:40 p.m. — Near Walmart, a young man bedecked in jeans is holding up a sign begging for change. It is unclear if he is in poverty or a disappointed Obama supporter. Wednesday, May 27 8:19 p.m. — On Jackson Street, a man who lent a friend money says he was given a 4-wheeler as collateral. No money has been repaid so he is trying to sell the vehicle, and is being accused by the original owner of stealing it. Police tell him to take the matter to civil court. Thursday, May 28 3:34 p.m. — There's a sickly-looking llama in a cage down on Old Dover Road. Animal control will check on its welfare. 3:49 p.m. — There's a dead deer in the river, and it won't float off again, says an East Rochester resident. Does she have to pray for rain? Friday, May 29 6:04 p.m. — A car is "all over the Spaulding Turnpike," and is equally erratic on Route 11. A driver emerges and "stumbles" into Walmart. Police find he is the victim of excruciating toothache. Saturday, May 30 11:45 p.m. — A bicyclist, who says he has "a badge," quizzes citizens on Common Street. Police quiz him. He is wearing a junior officer plastic badge, and says the original complainants were giving him a hard time, asking if he was an officer. Sunday, May 31 2:45 p.m. — A Partridge Green man says he was cleaning his gun at his living room table went it went off. Ooops! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: John P Date: 12 Jun 09 - 01:12 PM My ex used to write the police blotter report for a local newspaper. Some of my favorites: An armless man was drunk and violent in a tavern. When the police arrive he starts hitting them with his stumps. They have a hard time restraining him because he doesn't have any hands for the handcuffs. The headline, of course: "Police are Stumped" Two people steal several bags of groceries from a store. They get caught because, as they leave the parking lot, they get in an argument, get out of the car in the middle of a busy four lane road, and start hitting each other with slabs of stolen meat. Someone tries to steal a cash machine by chaining it to their truck's bumper and hitting the gas. The bumper comes off, and the would-be thief drives away in fear, leaving his bumper -- and his license plate -- behind. One from California: A man gets convicted of a crime and talks his brother into serving his time for him. Being a good brother, he goes to visit his sibling in jail, carrying not only his ID but a gun. It seems that many people turn to a life of crime because they are too stupid to do anything else. On the other hand, the fact that my wife was reading police reports from both the city and the county allowed her to alert the police to a violent rapist who was picking up prostitutes and doing things like burning them with his cigarette lighter. There were two police reports, with the incidences a couple of blocks apart from each other, but in different jurisdictions. The police were able to catch him sooner than they would have otherwise. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 13 Jun 09 - 10:39 AM * A deputy checked Headwaters State Park and had "nothing to report but people enjoying the nice day." * Officers were unable to locate some people who were reported "to be doing illegal things" on a trail near Goldenstein Lane around 12:30 a.m. * An officer thanked a man from Civilian Air Patrol who was sitting in the middle of a parking lot with a lantern on Davis Lane around 2 a.m. providing security for the new dinosaur park. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Gurney Date: 14 Jun 09 - 12:40 AM A local identity called 111 (our emergency #)because he'd disturbed a thief stealing "all the heads off his dope" plantation. He recognised the thief, who was arrested green-handed by grinning officers. The thief remarked the he "thought nobody would be daft enough to report him for stealing dope." Both charged. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 20 Jun 09 - 10:29 AM * A resident of Boylan Road asked to speak with an officer "about noise associated with tee time at the golf course." * Around 11 p.m., a woman reported that her neighbor was outside "shooting off his loud mouth" and she wanted him to stop. * A couple in a "purplish Pontiac" was taking pictures of it around 8 p.m. Wednesday at Hyalite Dam and the caller thought they were acting suspiciously. * A sheep escaped from a field on Frontage Road. * Teenage boys were trying to destroy playground equipment at Ridgeview Elementary School in River Rock around 1:30 p.m. and "got mouthy" when the caller asked them to stop. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 21 Jun 09 - 09:41 AM From today's report: Someone on Michael Grove Avenue informed police that the neighbor's dog was in the process of befouling their lawn shortly after 10 a.m. Bags of "poo" were left on a Highland Blvd. resident's doorstep several times before he called it in. He also advised officers that one bag came with a note asking him to pick up his dog's "poo." Officers were advised to keep a lookout for a "husky male" caught peeing on a man's lawn on Granite Avenue. (I wonder if that is a husky breed dog or a man whose build is husky). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 21 Jun 09 - 10:05 AM Monday, June 1 7:41 a.m. — A suspiciously scruffy man is spotted near the Northeast Credit Union ATM. He is described as "sketchy," which could mean he looks drawn. 1:28 p.m. — Video is available showing theft of clothes from a washing machine on Signal Street. It is the thief who should now come clean. 6:24 p.m. — At the Common, a man in his 60s asked an 8-year-old for a bite of his doughnut, and then put his arm around the child and said, "Oh, you're a sweet boy," which disturbed his mother. 7:15 p.m. — At the station, a man reports being threatened by an ex-girlfriend's new boyfriend — who is texting him ominously even as he relates his fears to dispatch. 11:49 p.m. — On Ledgeview Drive, yelling and screaming is judged to be verbal in nature. Police come, police go and it erupts all over again. One lady, distraught by a boyfriend breakup, walks into a field to be alone. Police return to give everyone a final warning. Tuesday, June 2 12:53 a.m. — Men are thought to be bawling at each other on Pine Street, but they are both yelling for a dog. 8:01 a.m. — A lady whose brown hair is tied with a yellow ribbon is knocking on doors on Ledgeview Drive. Police find she has a state permit to do so, and is linked to education, somehow. 11:04 p.m. — On Columbus avenue, a highly intoxicated man is alternatively asking ladies for a kiss and yelling at joggers. The dilemma created by female joggers is not addressed. Wednesday, June 3 7:42 a.m. — On Old Milton Road, business flyers flit around. Police remind a businessman it is not allowed. If it happens again, other paperwork could be triggered. 5:30 p.m. — A litter complaint is made concerning an area adjacent to Route 125. It involves paper, not puppies. 6:47 p.m. — On Pine Street, a lady says that her friend Eddie has just been punched by a kid. 10:23 p.m. — An officer bags a dead cat on North Main Street. The owner arrives and grieves full sore for her pet. 10:59 p.m. — Yelling and banging is elevated to a disturbance on Harvard Street. Thursday, June 4 3:58 a.m. — On Heaton Street, folks yell and swear, some window glass is broken, a blood trail leads to who knows where, while neighbors are all woken. 12:55 p.m. — Graffiti is found on the rear of the library building. It is regarded as criminal mischief rather than a sign of literacy. 5:47 p.m. — On Moores Court, a daughter being kicked out of the house says her mother is throwing some of her stuff in the street, but not the right stuff. 6:19 p.m. — At Wyandotte Falls, a man says he bought a rocking chair from a women in another apartment but changed his mind because it didn't look right. The woman took the chair back but didn't return the $50. Police then get a call from a woman asking them to settle a dispute about a chair. A man, perhaps he who went off his rocker, has allegedly threatened to hit her and now she fears for her life. 6:31 p.m. — The Burger King manager has a beef with a man who has a gun tucked in his waistband. Police find the pistol is properly permitted. The citizen agrees to "carry the gun properly," Burger King lets him back in and everyone is happy. 8:16 p.m. — An ongoing neighbor dispute on Eastern Avenue kicks back into life with an outbreak of swearing by a man at a woman. Friday, June 5 12:40 a.m. — An inebriated soul in Union Street parking lot is relocated to the county farm. 8:02 p.m. — Trees are being cut down at Gonic Mill, possibly to fuel a party. 10:59 p.m. — On Pine Street, people are drinking noisily. Slurping or worse? Saturday, June 6 12:29 a.m. — On Pine Street, Ryan Reason, 23, of 23 Pinecrest Drive, Somersworth is charged with being a suspicious subject and arrested on a bench warrant. This comes in the wake of a report about a man urinating on a truck. 2:02 a.m. — In the station lobby, a man reports that someone who threatened him in Slim's has followed up with a sinister message on MySpace. 10:21 a.m. — A blue Volvo comes into a Washington Street driveway, a man yells at the house, and then takes off. 10:38 a.m. — On Strafford Road, a ride-on mower has been ridden off. 1:21 p.m. — Someone is stuck in the police station elevator. Her name is kept secret. 2:51 p.m. — On Heaton, some folks yell and swear, when throats get parched they chug some beer. 10:54 p.m. — Fireworks are fired on Lafayette. Sunday, June 7 12:23 p.m. — Ladies fight on Margaret Street. One is punched in the face. The other is shoved to the ground and stays down for the count. 10:26 a.m. — A Myrtle Street man reports a woman "acting crazy" has broken his window. 12:40 p.m. — Fifteen fellows fight on Charles. The instigator is described as (no surprises) shirtless. 5:02 p.m. — A Dry Hill Road man, locked out of his home by a mortgage company, obtains official access to discover it has been ransacked and his gun collection has been stolen. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Jeri Date: 21 Jun 09 - 10:25 AM I love John's police reports and playing 'find the rhyme'. Not the only one from the above, but (stanzafied): [Thursday, June 4, 3:58 a.m. — ] On Heaton Street, folks yell and swear, Some window glass is broken, A blood trail leads to who knows where, While neighbors are all woken. Then there's the alliteration, the snark, the 'grieves full sore', and the rest. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 24 Jun 09 - 06:43 PM After locking himself in a pair of handcuffs, a man called police to borrow a key after 11:30 p.m. The man requested to meet with police on the porch in the alley of North Black Avenue, but the officer did not have the right key and advised him to go to the hospital. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 24 Jun 09 - 07:02 PM A noise complaint brought deputies to a house on Erik Drive where the resident was playing his bass guitar after 10:30 p.m. He was arrested on two bench warrants and taken to the Gallatin County Detention Center. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 25 Jun 09 - 04:44 PM A few from this week's Rochester (NH) Times: Monday, June 8 12:02 a.m. — On Lafayette Street, a woman has been "screaming for to get out of her vehicle" for three-quarters of an hour. The caller declines to look out the window to get a description. 9:06 a.m. — A caller says a dead puppy, perhaps a Chihuahua, is lying in Salmon Falls Road. Police say it is a porcupine. (A Chihuahua is spineless.) 3:31 p.m. — A man got a check for lottery winnings that turned out to be fake. (That's odd!) Now he has to report it to get his money back from the bank. 10:05 p.m. — On Congress Street, police check out a drinking party with wild music, a huge bonfire and a scanner. When they arrive, everyone is quietly playing darts. Hmm. 10:38 p.m. — At Cold Spring Manor, juveniles with sticks are chasing a skunk. The caller is afraid for the children. 11:25 p.m. — On Lafayette Street, a shirtless man and his pard, are loud and drunk. Tuesday, June 9 7:59 a.m. — Fireworks splutter on Springfield Court. 3:49 p.m. — A wallet is found near the Getty on Hancock. 4:35 p.m. — An Edgerly Way woman says she has received a call from a "company" asking probing questions about her credit cards. 5:15 p.m. — A grandmother reports that her daughter may be chasing her granddaughter (that's the grandmother's granddaughter) around the house with a metal bat. 6:48 p.m. — A worker at the 306 Restaurant complains of fliers on parked cars that discriminate against the business. 9:55 p.m. — People on Roseberry Lane have their power turned off and are now running a generator night and day to the chagrin of some on North Cranberry Lane. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 25 Jun 09 - 10:44 PM From today's report: * Employees at a business on Tschache Lane employed fishing nets to try and catch a magpie that was flying around the store about 11:30 a.m. * A man broke into a woman's home on West Beall Street through a bedroom window to retrieve a toolbox that he claimed was stolen from him several months ago. The woman said she was not aware that the toolbox had been in her bedroom closet. * * A basketball coach in Ennis was threatened by a disgruntled parent. * A dog chased a man around a neighborhood near John Deere Street running after the man's car. * A hay bale was on fire in a field in front of a church on South 19th Avenue around 10:30 a.m. * A repo man was told to follow his company's policy on returning personal property in vehicles they were repossessing after a deputy determined that a gun found in a car the man was taking was not stolen. The man also found a syringe needle in the console. He was told to destroy it. * A woman couldn't stain her deck because three dogs were running loose in the area. She described them as a "beagle, a little white hairy thing and a medium white hairy thing." * A woman said her neighbors were keeping an alligator, birds and a couple of dogs but were not taking care of them. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 28 Jun 09 - 11:12 AM * Someone on East Griffen Drive reported "a huge cat problem." Deputies responded to Summer Ridge Road, where an unknown individual was ringing doorbells at 1 a.m. Several horses were loose on Kelly Canyon Road. A bear was spotted digging through trash on Ousel Falls Road. A woman called reporting a pig was injured during a "Pig Wrestling Event" at the Headwaters Country Jam. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 28 Jun 09 - 11:27 AM Pig wresting is not really funny for the pig. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies) Date: 28 Jun 09 - 11:46 AM Quite possibly the funniest 'local news item' I read, was a report of a firework planted in a dog poo bin. The explosion rattled the windows of nearby homes... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Irene M Date: 28 Jun 09 - 04:23 PM In Wales, a man dialled 999 one night to report a strange bright light in the sky above the houses opposite. The police went out in response, and reported back afterwards "It was the moon". |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Georgiansilver Date: 28 Jun 09 - 05:05 PM A hole appeared in the road outside the Police Station... the Police are looking into it! The Police dog section building was burgled... The Police have no leads! A burglar fell into a cement drive whilst making an exit from a local house... Police are looking for a 'hardened' criminal. A toilet was stolen from a local Police Station... The Police have nothing to go on!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 16 Jul 09 - 04:21 PM Thursday, July 16, 2009 From the Rochester (NH) Times Monday, June 29 1:06 a.m. -- Yelling on Willow Brook Drive wakes a slumbering citizen. Drink is at the bottom of it. 11:01 a.m. -- A Portland Street landlord, cleaning out after a tenant, discovers his place has gone to pot. Literally. 12:10 p.m. -- On King Street a gentleman makes quite a splash by urinating out of a third-story window. 2:34 p.m. -- A Cornerstone Court landlord would like the removal of an ex-tenant, who is described as "very irate. 4:01 p.m. -- An East Rochester man reports that his ex-wife, her boyfriend, and her sister have broken into his house, smashed windows, destroyed contents and made off with several items awarded to him in the divorce settlement. In a twist of the blade, they continually drive by in a green SUV also awarded to him. Tuesday, June 30 12:04 a.m. -- On Knight Street at Cumberland Farms, a man with tattooed neck and arms, steals a sandwich. 8:17 p.m. -- After a disturbance on Chestnut Street, a man is taken into protective custody for alcoholism. 8:29 p.m. -- In Gonic, a bar patron parks his truck on someone's property and reportedly threatens to beat up the property owner when asked to move. The victim calls back later to cancel the call, explaining that he had not realized the parker was a family member. Wednesday, July 1 12:32 a.m. -- Police encounter three juveniles near the radio station on Rochester Hill. One mother says she has been drinking and cannot pick her son up, but adds she is fine with him being out as he is with a cousin, seeking a bike. 2:14 a.m. -- Malcolm Dwight Young, 24, of 17 Glenwood Ave., 7, is charged with driving after suspension and disobeying an officer, after a traffic stop on Pine Street. 10:38 a.m. -- A Salmon Falls Road resident is spitting in a neighbor's driveway again. 12:41 p.m. -- A man with a hat and a long beard sits on a North Main Street porch that is not his, sipping on a beer. He has gone, pushing a cart, when police check the area. 4:08 p.m. -- On Punch Brook Way, a son with a knife, hits his mother with a shoe, instead. Thursday, July 2 12:53 a.m. -- A cruiser driving Lowell at night, has passed a bike without a light; a U-turn's made to catch the blade, but he has vanished out of sight. 1:00 a.m. -- There's yelling and swearing in Union Street parking lot... it is just the bars emptying. 2:32 a.m. -- A group of knaves mill on Knight Street. 2:36 a.m. -- Two vehicles pause on Eastern Avenue to let occupants yell and scream at each other. 7:06 p.m. -- Police are called to Lafayette Street to deal with an unwanted person who "won't shut up, won't go to sleep and won't leave." Mr. Unpopular chooses Option 3. 7:37 p.m. -- Two men stagger down Summer Street. A passing car gets punched. One gent is not supposed to be drinking and is taken to the county jail. 8:51 p.m. -- A woman reports that her husband has taken all the vehicles and the car seats. She is referred to her divorce attorney. 11:10 p.m. -- Half a dozen teens are creating a din in Linscott Apartments' parking lot. Several people have yelled out of the windows to keep quiet, but the racket continues. Friday, July 3 1:54 a.m. -- On Glen Street, yelling and screaming is officially deemed to be verbal. 8:58 a.m. -- An English sheepdog is rounding the S curves on Salmon Falls Road. 9:26 a.m. -- At the station a man has paperwork from the sheriff saying he can remove his things within 28 days, but the property owner has locked him out. 11:15 p.m. -- A number of calls come in from Kim Lane reporting a slam... and another slam... and another slam. It may be fireworks. 11:20 p.m. -- Dirt bikes with no lights speed up and down Chestnut Street. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: ClaireBear Date: 16 Jul 09 - 04:43 PM Couple cited for having sex on front lawn of Santa Cruz City Hall May 6, 2009 Police cited a man and arrested a woman who allegedly were having sex on the front lawn of City Hall late Wednesday morning. City employees called 911 around 11:25 a.m. after seeing the couple under a white blanket on the grass near the Human Resources Department, police said. The couple was still going at it when officers arrived. Police reported they were nude from the waist down. Zachary Clow, 32, was cited for lewd conduct on public property. Shannon Baltzell, 29, was arrested and taken to County Jail after she refused to sign a ticket for the same offense, police said. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Jeri Date: 16 Jul 09 - 05:38 PM Tom, I love John's police reports, but I'm not so sure about the limerick. (A cruiser driving Lowell at night...) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 16 Jul 09 - 08:00 PM Thanks for alerting me Jeri. Too many eighth grade takes on millefoil and weevils have buggered my brain. A better scan might be: A cruiser on Lowell at night, Has passed a bike with no light; A U-turn was made To catch the bold blade, But the miscreant vanished from sight. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 16 Jul 09 - 10:28 PM * A driver on Frontage Road was concerned that a young woman pulling a piece of luggage along the road was trying to walk to Bozeman and did not know how far it was. * Someone left a freezer at the dump after hours. * It could not be determined if a chip in a woman's kitchen window was put there intentionally with a rock or BB pellet or if a bird flew into it. * Four cows were missing from a herd for over a month. * A young black bear climbed on the deck of a home on Hackamore Road. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: fat B****rd Date: 17 Jul 09 - 03:04 PM An item in the Grimsby Evening Telegraph in the early 1960s said that "a very ugly man was seen running from the sheep pen at the local abattoir" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: gnu Date: 17 Jul 09 - 03:32 PM Police were called to a farm on Pine Glen Road. Officers found an inebriated young man engaged in a lewd act with a pumpkin. When questioned, he asked, "Is it midnight already?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 18 Jul 09 - 02:59 PM * Two men and "an unfriendly dog" were spinning around in a vehicle in a field off Harper Puckett Road around 2 a.m. They were on their own property and the men were working on the vehicle trying to get running. * A plane was "flying low and spraying stuff" near a subdivision off U.S. Highway 191 around 8:30 a.m. * * Farmers flagged down a deputy saying they were concerned about tall grass at the intersection of Baxter and Love lanes causing sightline issues for traffic. * Deputies spoke with a small child after a 911 hang up call was received from her home and a dispatcher said she was "very evasive" when he spoke with her. The deputies explained why they came to her house and how they respond to 911 hang up calls. * A caller said a person driving a 26-foot box truck told him at a Huffine Lane gas station that they had 15 undocumented workers in the back of it. * A woman received several strange telephone calls from a man who said her "boss told him to call her about hair modeling" and that he wanted to hire her to wash his wife's hair three times a week for the next two months. * A man almost struck a construction worker on Interstate 90 when he swerved off the road to avoid hitting another vehicle that had slammed on the brakes and kicked up gravel in a construction zone around 5 p.m. The driver who had slammed on the brakes passed the caller at about 100 mph. The erratic driver was cited and released. * A woman said her neighbors stole "hundreds of dollars of wood" from her property. * Around 9 p.m., a man asked authorities to contact his wife who was waiting for him at Swan Creek Campground after he determined that he and his 15-year-old son were not going to make it back to the vehicle that night. They were at the top of Hyalite Peak on bicycles and did not need help but just wanted his wife, who did not have a cell phone, to know they were OK and would make their way out in the morning. * A woman and some men were screaming somewhere near Stucky Road around 11:30 p.m. The woman was screaming, "Get it out of here," the caller said. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: banjoman Date: 19 Jul 09 - 08:53 AM From a so called "Real News as it happens " paper in England some years ago " Police investigating the theft of the Eddistone Lighthouse say they are currently looking for a suspicious character last seen at Waterloo Station carrying a large brown paper parcel under his arm" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 19 Jul 09 - 09:23 AM * Driving down 19th Avenue, a minor racked up citations for DUI, disorderly conduct, driving while his license was suspended, obstruction, criminal mischief and theft. He was arrested and released to his parents. * Medical care was called for a man who claimed he had walked from Butte to Bozeman in two days. * A motorist spotted a bear on the highway near town. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Midchuck Date: 19 Jul 09 - 11:11 AM Around 9 p.m., a man asked authorities to contact his wife who was waiting for him at Swan Creek Campground after he determined that he and his 15-year-old son were not going to make it back to the vehicle that night. They were at the top of Hyalite Peak on bicycles and did not need help but just wanted his wife, who did not have a cell phone, to know they were OK and would make their way out in the morning. Having been up in there, I'd say it was a fairly logical thing to do in the circumstances, although he should have planned ahead better. P. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 21 Jul 09 - 10:34 PM * Two neighbors in an apartment building were arguing because one's dog defecated in the other's apartment. The neighbor retaliated by wiping her own dog's feces on the other neighbor's door. "Both neighbors cleaned up their own dogs' feces and were warned." * A man turned in a knife he found in front of a hotel on North Seventh Avenue after he realized it had dried blood on it. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following: * Central Valley firefighters extinguished a fire that started in a dumpster on North Fawn Place that "smelled heavily of flammable liquids" and was filled with paint cans and rags. * A tailgate was stolen off a pickup truck. * A deputy assisted two people by providing light for them after they lost inner tubes out of their vehicle on Norris Road. Once they retied the tubes, the deputy gave them a warning for driving with an unsecured load. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Date: 22 Jul 09 - 07:17 PM Police in the south east of England received a call from a man who said there were prowlers in his garden, and could they help? The officer told him they had nobody in the area. Ten minutes later he rang again, and said "It's alright, you needn't bother. I've shot 'em!" Two minutes later two armed response vehicles and three police cars arrived, just in time to capture the two chaps who were busy removing all the caller's plants. An irate police Inspector hammered on his door, and when he answered, shouted "I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU SHOT'EM!" "I thought YOU said you had nobody in the area", was the calm reply. Don T. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 22 Jul 09 - 09:18 PM * An employee at a senior care facility said a man thinks the mafia owns the center and that the man wants to go have a drink. * A man broke out all the windows and a door of a bar on East Main Street with a hammer around 3:30 a.m. A 49-year-old Bozeman man, accused of doing the damage, was arrested for criminal mischief. * Someone left a backpack at the backdoor of a home on North Rouse Avenue. * A man got up in the morning and found another man sleeping in his vehicle in his garage on North Eighth Avenue. The caller said the man came back twice saying he was looking for a backpack. * Cash, bear spray, two pairs of binoculars and an emergency car kit were stolen on two separate occasions from an unlocked vehicle parked on Secor Avenue. * Decorative tree stumps set up along Graf Street were taken. * A man had questions about laws on stun guns after his roommate threatened him with one. He did not want to press charges. * A convicted felon wanted to know if he could legally own a compound bow. * Two young men "wearing whatever 20-year-old males wear" were using a coat hanger to break into a vehicle on Breeze Lane around 3 p.m. They were gone when an officer arrived. * A man who drove off from a gas station on College Street around 5:30 p.m. was later found and brought back to the station, where he paid for the fuel. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Monday included the following: * A county office reported that a man left an odd message on its answering service. * A woman's dog scared a man away after he came to her door selling baking soda and stuck his elbow in the door when the woman said, "No, thank you." * A man thought his 18-year-old son was being irresponsible because he had not reported that his truck had not been returned by some friends who had borrowed it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 23 Jul 09 - 09:32 AM A caller needed to pick up a dress for a wedding and the seamstress wouldn't answer her door. The woman needed the dress right away and wanted police to help her get it because she was on her way to the wedding, which was out of state. Around 5 a.m., a man reported that his wife went out to have a cigarette around 2:30 a.m. and hadn't come back. He called back a couple of hours later and said she had returned. A person reported vulgar words written in dust on a vehicle parked on East Main Street. The caller thought it was "unsightly for people going to work to have to look at." * An animal control officer thanked a dog owner for having his dog on a leash. A woman said music being played near her home on Pioneer Drive was so loud it was shaking her walls. The responding officer did not hear any noise. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following: A black bear getting into trash on Little Coyote Road did not seem fearful of humans. A permitted burn got out of control and burned down a shed with a hot tub in it around 6 p.m. on U.S. Highway 191. A driver was cited for reckless driving after he sped down Coulee Drive and drove over a garbage can around 11 p.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: katlaughing Date: 23 Jul 09 - 12:19 PM Sort of funny: Light annoys neighbor Two feuding residents in the (address removed) have brought the spotlight of law enforcement upon themselves. John XXXXXX told deputies early Sunday that before sunrise his neighbor "had set up a light with the intent to harass him," according to a report from the County Sheriff's Department. "The light was a large yard light which was aimed at (XXXXXX's) home." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Sadly, it seems our area is too urban to have much humour in the police blotters. I found, in the past two months, most of the reports involve drugs and the crimes folks commit to buy them or under the influence of...arrgghh. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 25 Jul 09 - 11:33 AM * A man in a uniform tried to sell a security system to an 80-year-old woman. The man did not leave a name or a number, but the woman's daughter called police requesting extra patrol in the area around her mother's residence. (This "security" sales guy came to my door about a week ago!! alice) * Officers warned a male for running around naked outside. * A man who turned in a marijuana pipe he had found the night before expressed concerns that the car it came from was an ex-patrol vehicle. * A caller reported a suspicious phone call involving a $1,000 charge for $500 worth of pizza. The call is being treated as an identity theft scenario. * A woman reported her neighbor was lying out on the lawn in his underwear. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Wednesday include the following: * A 7-year-old boy was warned for wandering into other people's homes without permission. He was apparently just looking for someone to play with. * A caller was concerned about a satellite TV service man who came back to her home to pick up some tools he supposedly left behind. She did not think he had left anything behind. An airplane flying erratically and emitting smoke near Davis Lane around 6 p.m. turned out to a man flying a model plane with an attached smoke machine. One-ton round hay bales fell off a truck near the East Main Street Interchange around 8 p.m. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following: The owner of a business was afraid a recently fired disgruntled employee and his brother were going to come to the business and take a desk. Kids were going on boats and "fiddling with stuff" at the Rainbow Point Campground. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 25 Jul 09 - 01:26 PM Again, from the Rochester (NH) Times: ROCHESTER — The following items, based on entries in the Rochester Police Log, were selected from 787 calls for service from July 4 to July 7: Saturday, July 4 12:45 a.m. — On Charles Street, a teenage girl is jumped and assaulted by a large, masked lady. 8:28 a.m. — On King Street, a stray dog is described by a single word — scruffy. 12:08 p.m. — The pastor of the Journey Church reports that one member of the congregation has broken off a relationship with another. The latter has threatened to attend a Sunday service "and kill everyone." This church sponsored the fireworks on July 3. 8:54 p.m. — Bottle rockets woosh on Estes Road. 9:30 p.m. — At Royal Crest MHP, a lady is crawling on the road, accompanied by someone who seems to be crippled. A resident asks after their welfare and they explain they are pie-eyed with drink 10:06 p.m. — Fireworks spark fear and loathing on East Rochester's Main Street. 10:22 p.m. — A Rochester Hill Road resident reports two ladies barged into her house and searched closets for items belonging to her ex-boyfriend. 11:49 p.m. — Music drifting through woods, reaches irritated ears on Kinsale Drive. A Nottingham Lane resident is spoken to. Sunday, July 5 1:09 a.m. — From Congress, comes the report of a loud party in the white house. Settle down, Obama. 5:29 a.m. — On Juniper Street, a man near a mailbox yells to the homeowner that it is a good thing he doesn't have his baseball bat. 6:59 a.m. — Near Staples, a slender, curly blonde, dressed in a black skirt and matching jacket, is panhandling. 3:03 p.m. — At Walmart, a pickup hauling a boat is blocking the main entrance to the food side, and the driver is refusing to move and let other cars enter. 3:12 p.m. — A homeless man is not wanted on a North Main Street porch. 3:49 p.m. — The manager of Dollar Tree on Milton Road reports he has a woman irked by a return policy. A woman calls to allege Dollar Tree would not take her food stamps and that she was called a bitch and had items thrown at her. 5:16 p.m. — On North Main Street, the homeless person has returned to his perch on the porch. 8:56 p.m. — On Copper Lane dogs bark all day, when coppers come, they've gone away. 9:07 p.m. — On Lafayette Street, a "house is shooting off fireworks." 9:21 p.m. — At Northgate Apartments, males yell at females. There is reciprocity. Monday, July 6 1:13 a.m. — The homeless person is asleep on the North Main Street porch. He is woken up and "moved along. " 2:56 a.m. — At the Route 125 Motel, disciples of Bacchus are hushed up. One is taken into protective custody for alcoholism. 5:11 a.m. — On Copper Lane, the dogs are back, howling, woofing, yack, yack, yack. 8:35 p.m. — At the construction site on Route 125, a lady dressed in a yellow tank top and shorts is "freaking out on something." Second and third callers assert she can barely stand. 8:57 p.m. — Fireworks snap, crackle and pop at Cold Spring Manor in defiance of management policy. 10:10 p.m. — On Wilson Street, a man in the middle of the road is either having a medical emergency or is drunk. 11:10 p.m. — Folks yell and scream on Quaker Lane. Tuesday, July 7 10:14 a.m. — The art shoe in front of City Hall, the one purchased by VFW Post 1772, has been vandalized. AMVETS Post 1 members are in the clear. 11:26 a.m. — A mother reports her young daughter was threatened by a man during the Salvation Army lunch program.. 9:04 p.m. — A large tattooed man — a 300-pounder — is hitching on Portland Street and "when you don't stop he jumps out at you." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 26 Jul 09 - 09:03 AM Five people were seen fighting on Maple with sticks. After being found lying face down in the grass along North 11th Avenue, a male was given a ride home. * After a flower pot was set on fire, two male juveniles found nearby had their lighter and cigarettes confiscated, but were not cited. A business on North 19th Avenue reported receiving a counterfeit $5 bill from a customer, but an officer determined the money was real. An employee at a Durston Road gas station called to report two juveniles he thought were smoking pot in a car in the parking lot. They were smoking tobacco, but because they were underage, they were cited for minors in possession. The driver was also cited for driving with no insurance. Police received a report of suspicious activity when a stretch limo pulled into a parking lot on East Main Street and stayed there for a half hour with the driver standing outside. After a male puked on a patrol car, police determined that the girl he was with had an outstanding warrant. She was arrested. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following: Deputies talked to a woman who reported she had been followed home by a guy in a silver car, who tailgated, repeatedly flashed his bright lights and nudged the back of her car several times. When he pulled in behind her at her residence, he went to her window and told her he was an undercover officer. He backed into a ditch when pulling out of the driveway. An eBay search led a woman to believe that a man in Oregon was trying to sell her car online. Speeders were caught spinning doughnuts in the Anderson School parking lot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Ebbie Date: 26 Jul 09 - 12:36 PM Here's one that made me laugh: IMPERFECT CRIME . . . Here's an excerpt from Ear's favorite police blotter, documenting life in Unalaska/Dutch Harbor: "07/18/09--Sat--0207--Trespass -- An agitated, drunken patron who had groped a cocktail waitress was asked to leave the bar but did not wish to do so. (M.M.), 24 yoa, of Washington, was arrested for Criminal Trespass II after he cursed at an officer and refused to leave the area. (MM) was uncooperative at the jail and, among other things, attempted to drown himself, twice, by placing his head in a toilet in his cell but was unsuccessful due to the fact that he had to keep coming up for air." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge Date: 27 Jul 09 - 11:17 AM I `ad the "Old Bill" in my cab the other day. `e was in mufti but I knew `e was a copper by `is `aircut and boots. `e said, "Evening all, could you take me to my police station, a bit sharpish, like?. I`m `alf `our late for duty" I said, " `ere. Whadya know about that report of a man`ole cover being nicked, leaving a ruddy great `ole in the road?" `e said, quite `aughtilly like, " We`re looking into it!!" Whaddam I Like?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 31 Jul 09 - 10:17 AM Officers escorted a bartender back to her car after a male patron creeped her out. Two males were given MIP's after they were seen fighting on the front lawn of a house. Someone at an apartment complex on 22nd Avenue called police about garbage that was being illegally left in the dumpsters there. * A caller asked police about a church he heard about called "The THC Ministry," wondering if they were legally allowed to grow pot. A skunk was trapped in a dumpster behind the old Humane Society. A ramp was created with boards to help the skunk climb out. Police advised a woman with a rockchuck living under the hood of her car that turning the hose on it would get the critter to move along. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge Date: 31 Jul 09 - 11:51 AM Would you Adam and Eve it? I `ad that copper again in my cab the other night looking well glum and rather uncomfortable, as if `e thought `e `ad but `e wasn`t sure. `e said ," `ere Jim, could you get me down the public loos, a bit sharpish like, please?" I said, " Sure. I `eard someone `as `alf-inched all the lavatory pans in your nick. is that right?" `e said, "yeah. We dunno `who dunnit. We`ve got nothing to go on!!" Whaddam I like?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 01 Aug 09 - 10:09 AM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Thursday included the following: * A woman asked officers to remove a stray cat that refused leave her home and was trying to attack her. * An officer gave a ride to an intoxicated man after he woke him up. The man was sleeping on the sidewalk near East College Street around 1:30 a.m. * * A man reported that someone took his longboard and ran it over on West Babcock Street. * A man reported that his neighbor was "leaving dog droppings in his yard." * A caller told police that his ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend were in his house smoking marijuana. The woman was cited for endangering the welfare of a child for smoking marijuana while caring for her daughter and was reported to the Department of Public Health and Human Services. * Two iPods and other items were found beneath a bush near the entrance to a business on North 15th Avenue. The caller believed they had been stolen. * Several guests at a hotel near Commerce Way were complaining about loud music from a party at the Bozeman Area Chamber of Commerce around 6:30 p.m. * Someone took a lawn ornament from a store on North 19th Avenue around 8 p.m. without paying for it. * There was no damage to a wheelchair at the hospital after an elderly driver ran it over at the hospital. The caller said the driver and another person were unhappy when they left the emergency room. * Someone let a stray dog into a hotel on Wheat Drive and employees wanted help removing it. * A man said he was sliced on the arm by someone with a piece of glass but he was too intoxicated to be able to give any information to police about his assailant. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following: * A deputy assisted Belgrade police when they received a call about a grenade in a vehicle on Jeanette Place around 12:30 p.m. It turned out to be an inert military training device and was removed. * The owner of a cabin said it had been removed from property on Pole Gulch Road after rent had been paid to keep it there. * Someone broke into a home on Jackrabbit Lane and stole a drum set. * A woman inadvertently dialed 911 when she sat on her phone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 02 Aug 09 - 01:37 PM I'll be watching the police reports this week to see if a report I called in will be published. Last night we found a unicycle abandoned half under the trees/bushes in our front yard. I just got back from the police station where I filed a "found" report and gave the unicycle to the officers. Alice |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 02 Aug 09 - 01:51 PM * When police tried to respond to a noise complaint at a house, the people hid inside and refused to come to the door. Officers then left parking citations on the cars outside for blocking the fire lane. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 03 Aug 09 - 06:11 AM "Folks yell and scream on Quaker Lane" That's Larry Otway's band practicing! (Sorry, Larry, couldn't resist it!) RtS "Face made for radio, voice made for mime" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:01 AM * A caller on Bushnell Road reported that someone had left two strange dogs in her garage. Moreover, someone had broken into her house, and taken some water bowls out to the garage for the dogs. She called back later to say that the dogs were put there by a friend, and she requested that the deputies cancel their response. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 03 Aug 09 - 10:59 AM It was a quiet week in Rochester NH... Wednesday, July 8 8:52 a.m. — The Department of Health & Human Services has a "loud and disruptive" client. 10:23 a.m. — A no trespass order is issued to a loud and disruptive patron at the library. 12:28 p.m. — The dark void of Chaos looms closer and closer — there's a rumpus in front of the station ... 12:28 p.m. — ... while at Adrien Circle a window's shot out, bringing old folks both grief and vexation. 2:52 p.m. — In a case of road rage and then some, a motorist reports someone followed him to the Washington Shell station, and smashed his windshield, before driving back onto the turnpike. 8:56 p.m. — Fireworks woosh and splutter on Lowell Street. 10:11 p.m. — Fireworks on Congress Street are complemented by yelling and screaming. 10:33 p.m. — On Heaton Street, a man and a woman push each other, as police log friends do when they have a disagreement. Thursday, July 9 7:34 a.m. — On Twombley Street a driver is approached by a lady in a gray hoodie and asked for money. She is no nun. 1:30 p.m. — The intermittent sounds of screaming and fighting waft along Ledgeview Drive. 2:18 p.m. — There is a screaming encore on Ledgeview Drive 9:04 p.m. — A red go-cart has been zooming around Kodiak Court for awhile. 9:26 p.m. — A man with a white bandanna over his face takes off with a 12-pack of Bud from Cumby's on Milton Road. 9:58 p.m. — Jacob D. King, 26, of 12 Maple St. is charged with unauthorized use of a propelled vehicle. Friday, July 10 4:35 p.m. — The go-cart is baaack at Kodiak Court. 6:05 p.m. — A Portland Street resident says pictures are being vibrated off her wall by a neighbor's loud music. 9:22 p.m. — Fireworks pop on Soapstone Lane. 9:45 p.m. — A damned inferno of a party penetrates half a mile of woods to annoy folks on Salmon Falls Road. Police warn the revelers. Saturday, July 11 9:48 a.m. — In the Walmart parking lot, on the food side, there is a report of a pooch that is "possibly in distress" in a car. Police make contact with the owner and find it is not a hotdog. 10:59 a.m. — A Franklin Street woman reports an ex has taken her tools from her car. Fifteen minutes later he brings them back. 11:31 a.m. — At the station, a man reports that a neighbor may "possibly be threatening his life." Police provide an escort, suspicion dissolves, and the neighbors become friends. 5:40 p.m. — Blinded by road rage, someone follows a Ten Rod Road resident home, and hurls names at the man in his driveway. 8:43 p.m. — Music is pounding from a house on Winter Street. Even the dispatcher can hear it. 9:38 p.m. — There is a brouhaha on Chestnut Street involving 20 people, which features yelling and an older man bleeding from the head. Police warn all parties involved. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 04 Aug 09 - 10:14 AM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Sunday included the following: * A man said his neighbors were smoking something on their back porch and it was not tobacco. He believed it was marijuana. * Two women were warned for fighting in the parking lot of a bar in the Barmuda Triangle at around 2:30 a.m. * * A unicycle was found in an aspen grove on North Fourth Avenue and turned into police. [Well, there it is, the unicycle I turned in... I hope the owner gets it back.] * There was a chicken in front of a building on East Main Street around 8 p.m. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following: * Around 1:30 a.m., a caller said a wedding across from her home on Norris Road was too loud and "she just wants sleep." * A man said someone was shooting at him from a residence near Dry Creek School Road around noon. * A tire rim was stolen off a horse trailer while it was parked on Tag Along Road. * A caller said he was "tired of dealing with his neighbor's loud remote-control car" and wanted to know what his options were. * A man was walking along Interstate 90 around 10:30 p.m. with his hands in the air. The Montana State University Police reports for Sunday included the following: * A woman reported that a group of women took her towel while she was in the shower in Johnstone Hall. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Amos Date: 04 Aug 09 - 11:40 AM What could possess a unicycle to make it turn into police? Surely that is not a karmic upgrade? To fall so far, when so close to circular perfection? A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: gnu Date: 04 Aug 09 - 02:59 PM One finger salute. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Amos Date: 04 Aug 09 - 03:23 PM He should have known better than to mess with a female officer that way. Improper hand signal, indeed!! LOL |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: gnu Date: 04 Aug 09 - 05:43 PM You mean, maybe he was making a pass, A? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 05 Aug 09 - 10:02 AM * A cyclist was warned for not using his headlight, which was on his head. * A store on South 23rd Avenue received a counterfeit $10 bill from some kids who said they got it from a fast food restaurant. * A ladder was causing a traffic hazard in the middle of Interstate 90. * Deputies responding to a 911 hang up call found a couple upset about the health of their pet. The woman said she had misdialed when she was trying to call Montana State University. * A bird was stuck in the chimney of a home on Little Coyote Road. * A bear was feeding off a dead deer, causing a traffic jam on Gallatin Road around 8:30 p.m. * A man was warned for tailgating a deputy on Interstate 90. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 06 Aug 09 - 10:19 AM * There were "a lot of people walking around ... tapping on windows" in the area of South Sixth Avenue and West Hayes Street around 2 a.m. * Two men were arrested for criminal mischief and public nuisance after they were reported taking things out of people's yards and throwing them into the street. * A very intoxicated man was in the driveway of a business on North Seventh Avenue with "his pants down around his knees" around 10 a.m. * A man was making harassing calls to employees at a store on South 23rd Avenue telling them they needed to wear bullet-proof vests. * Potted plants were stolen off a porch on Cascade Street. * A driver who was reportedly ramming a woman's vehicle with his and honking at her in a fast-food drive through fled when police confronted him. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following: * A deputy stopped a vehicle at the intersection of West Main Street and 19th Avenue when the driver made an illegal turn. The occupants were from out of town and were trying to find the hospital because one of their daughters was sick. The deputy led the family to the hospital and alerted the emergency room they were on their way. * Two women in bikinis were cited for disorderly conduct after they admitted that they mooned a driver passing by the Erwin Bridge Fishing Access. * A man told a deputy that the owner of a tattoo shop hit him when he confronted him about sending the man's girlfriend images of his "body parts." The case is under investigation. * A caller said neighbors had a really big party at their home last week and now there is a "really bad dead animal smell" coming from the house. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 07 Aug 09 - 10:17 AM * What was reported as threats on East Mendenhall Street around 2 a.m., were "little more than people yelling at each other on their way home from the bar," an officer said. * A woman was concerned about a man who was taking pictures of her and her vehicle while she was in a store around 12:30 p.m. The man was doing a site evaluation. * * A man paid $11 to use the Bogert Park Pool around 3 p.m., and when the pool was closed shortly thereafter, employees would not refund his money. * A 19-year-old and a juvenile were cited for shoplifting after a store employee reported that they were sitting outside at a table with the stolen items. * A 2-year-old locked her mother out of the car and a wrecker driver helped the mother get back in. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Wednesday included the following: * Residents of Cougar Drive apologized to a deputy who went to their home because of a loud party complaint around 1 a.m. They also agreed to quiet down. * A deputy unsuccessfully tried to help a driver get his overheated car going again on Interstate 90 but instead gave the man a ride to work around 7 a.m. * A hitchhiker was "going crazy yelling at cars" traveling on Interstate 90 around 2 p.m. * A boy claimed that a woman flipped him off as he drove a riding mower by her. The woman denied the accusation and threatened to file a harassment lawsuit against the boy's parents. * Searchers found a 3-year-old boy sleeping underneath a pile of large pillows in his parents' bedroom after his mother called 911 saying he'd been missing for about a half hour. Gallatin County deputies, members of the county search and rescue team, Sourdough Fire Department, AMR and volunteers had searched the home three or four times before finding the boy who was "well-rested and OK," according to a press statement. (All's well that ends well). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 08 Aug 09 - 06:45 PM * A young woman was knocking over garbage cans downtown and was arrested for disorderly conduct as well as resisting arrest and assaulting a police officer. After she was detained, police also found pot in her purse. * A skateboarder was warned for riding at night with no front or rear lights. * Police came across a lost and drunk man with no shirt. * Bullet holes were found in the garage behind a church. The reporting party believed the shots may have come from a nearby field where someone was shooting at gophers. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following: * A woman received a call from somebody saying she had won a sweepstakes and needed her date of birth and credit card number to claim the prize. The woman questioned the caller who became angry and hung up. * Deputies spoke to a driver about flipping off the man he was riding with. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 09 Aug 09 - 09:53 AM * Apparently too drunk to walk home, a man was given a ride by police. * Two people stranded in the rain were given a ride to a bar. (Our police seem to taxi a lot of drinkers around town). * A duck appeared to have a hook and fishing bobby stuck to its body in the Bozeman duck pond. They were both removed and the duck seemed be fine. * A man was warned for fighting with a bouncer on East Main Street. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 09 Aug 09 - 12:34 PM Rochester (NH) Times Sunday, July 12 1:27 a.m. — On Gagne Street, a lady and gentleman are screaming at each other in the roadway. They tell police they were arguing over their relationship. 9:17 a.m. — A churchgoer notices that the giant sneaker sculpture at GMC Financial has been stolen. Monday, July 13 12:16 a.m. — Half a dozen people are blasting music on Lafayette Street near Blair Park. That's not Blare Park, folks. 10:43 a.m. — A D'Amours Avenue lady reports someone has been posting things about her on the Internet. 12:33 p.m. — A man peering through binoculars at the Common arouses suspicion, but he is just killing time waiting on a prescription. 4:22 p.m. — At the station, a woman reports that she fears the person to whom she lent a log splitter has sold it. 8:20 p.m. — A Lafayette Street man says his brother is drunk and making a fool of himself. 10:16 p.m. — Men from Congress and from Myrtle into noisy battle hurtle; lance and mace and sword they tether, and clash by bashing chests together. Tuesday, July 14 1:37 a.m. — A man sings at the top of his voice in Care Pharmacy parking lot. 8:14 a.m. — A lawn ornament in the form of a black, white and red jockey has galloped away from Trade Wind Lane Wednesday, July 15 7:08 p.m. — Two ladies on Lafayette Street are missing their cats and think they see them in an apartment window. They would like help to get them back. 9:12 p.m. — After a co-ed fight on Academy Street a tattooed, shirtless man in shorts heads out. Thursday, July 16 6:58 p.m. — Back at the Babe Ruth field, two 4-wheelers are roaring around at great speed and causing disruption. Friday, July 17 1:25 a.m. — A man, allegedly drunk, bicycles down River Street. 5:40 a.m. — Noisemakers, possibly honing chest bashing skills, are warned on Congress Street. 9:15 p.m. — An East Rochester man makes a flurry of 911 calls, peppered with swear words, about punks milling outside. 11:19 p.m. — On Lafayette, two ladies fight, one is black and one is white; and while the air is turning blue, a little boy gets caught up, too. Saturday, July 18 2:57 p.m. — On North Main Street a neighbor blasting a TV reacts to stomping by stomping back. Police give him a warning Sunday, July 19 6:12 p.m. — A man at the Bank of America ATM says the man behind him was honking and waving a pipe — and not a peace pipe. Monday, July 20 12:06 a.m. — A man who borrowed a bike to go to Cumby's on Knight Street emerges to find it gone. 3:48 p.m. — On Walnut Street, a man with the obligatory no shirt talks to himself and then beats up on a Foster's machine. Hey! 8:56 p.m. — It is reported that a man is driving very slowly and stopping at green lights. Now he is driving in circles in the Lilac Mall parking lot. Police find he is neither drunk, nor geographically challenged — just very elderly. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: gnu Date: 11 Aug 09 - 06:26 AM Body Found Today the Police found an unidentified man's body in a park nearby. They describe him as having a Beer Belly, Saggy Balls, Wrinkly Ass and a Small Dick. Are You Okay?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 11 Aug 09 - 09:42 AM * A Lindley Place resident came home around 8 p.m. and found a 51-year-old woman sleeping in her bed and wearing her pajamas. The woman was cited for trespassing. * A woman reported her cell phone was stolen. She had asked that the phone be shipped to her, and when it didn't arrive, she called the number. A man texted her back and said he stole it from the post office. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: GUEST,MikeK Date: 11 Aug 09 - 07:33 PM From The Hamilton (Ontario, Canada) Spectator "Police Blotter" article of August 11, 2009: "Aug. 7, 2009 – Patrol officers approached three men on the corner of Ferguson [Avenue] and Barton [Street] at 3 p.m. One man was smoking a marijuana cigarette. The man was searched and found to be in possession of a stolen bicycle, numerous bike locks, burglary tools and a small amount of marijuana. The 53-year-old man from Hamilton is charged with possession of marijuana, possession of burglary tools and possession of stolen property." Just what was he wearing??? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: LilyFestre Date: 11 Aug 09 - 07:45 PM Recently a guy in a nearby village decided he was going to rob the bank. He went to the bank with his gun and had a ski mask on at noon. He reached to open the door and found it locked. The bank was closed during the lunch hour. The folks inside, however, got a look at his vehicle and plate number and now the man is going to jail for (I believe) 6 years. Six years for TRYING to rob a bank and never even got his foot in the door. ROFL. True story! Michelle |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 12 Aug 09 - 09:45 AM Police showed up to break up a fight but found that everybody had left. Two beer bottles were found at the scene as well as a heavy duty staple gun, which was entered into evidence. After engaging in a short chase with deputies, a man was found to be driving with a suspended license and had marijuana in his pockets. He was arrested but released due to jail capacity. A parent requested a deputy to talk to her kids about sneaking out of the house late at night. Another parent came to the Sherriff's office asking what to do about his son smoking marijuana. When an apparently confused, disheveled looking woman showed up in a man's yard she became frightened, claimed she must have been at the wrong house and ran away after climbing over an 8-foot-tall fence. (That's sad, not funny). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 13 Aug 09 - 10:18 AM A large dog was on top of a very steep roof on South Black Avenue. A caller was worried it would fall off. Someone dropped off a package of marijuana to be shipped, and the shipping company called police to retrieve it. Five juvenile males were warned for attempting to climb up a wall of a school on West Main Street just before midnight. A report of gunshots at a fishing access turned out to likely be a blown tire on nearby Interstate 90. A landlord wanted to know what to do with a couple of frying pans and other items left behind by a former tenant. The driver of a tractor pulling a bailer was warned and told to consider taking a back road at 5 p.m. after he had about 50 vehicles backed up behind him on Jackrabbit Lane. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 16 Aug 09 - 11:24 AM An officer noticed a mysterious smoke plume coming from the center of a building that turned out to be coffee roasting. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 18 Aug 09 - 10:59 AM * Four people were soaking in the hot tub of an apartment complex where they did not live around 2 a.m. and the caller wanted them cited for trespassing. * * A man was warned for hanging onto the back of a Streamline bus on East Main Street around 2 a.m. * A "young man" was sleeping in his vehicle after work because Montana State University won't let him in his dorm until Aug. 26. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following: * The driver of a pickup that had pulled into a driveway on Emerald Lane several times around 1 a.m., was found playing poker with friends at another residence nearby. The man said he was looking for the party. * A 22-year-old man, who had been drinking heavily at a wedding and was not familiar with the area, got lost after he left the Moonlight Basin lodge area around 12:30 a.m. and tried to walk to a residence about 10 miles away. Four area search and rescue teams were fielded including dog teams and helicopters. The man was found in a residence in a steep, wooded area near the ski resort around 7:30 a.m. He had broken into the home to get out of the cold - temperatures had dipped into the 30s overnight. * A man spotted on the catwalk of the Belgrade city water tower was gone when a deputy arrived. * A woman, who had trapped a weasel after it bit her, opted not to get law enforcement involved when she learned they would shoot it. She decided to keep the weasel for a couple of weeks to ensure it wasn't rabid. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 19 Aug 09 - 10:23 AM * Police received several calls from people concerned about recorded political messages they received on their telephones. * A caller reported seeing people leaving a residence with "snack-size and jewelry-size baggies" and believed there may be drug deals happening there. * Kids were seen "burning security devices" off football jerseys the caller believed were stolen. Police found one of the juveniles and are investigating. * A woman's name and phone number were written on the bathroom door of a business. * A man struck a parked car on North Church Avenue "because he did not pay attention to his driving." * A deputy spoke with a 15-year-old Belgrade boy who had been involved in mischief at the request of his mother after the boy had been with a friend who stole a car recently. She hoped the deputy "would make her son realize that he is likely to end up in more serious trouble if he does not change his ways." * A woman was receiving calls from a restricted number with a person breathing heavily on the other end. * A woman said her husband was "hacking into her e-mail and Facebook account" and posting false information on her Facebook page. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 20 Aug 09 - 10:27 AM * A woman was issued a citation at about 1:30 a.m. for camping out on a couch at North 5th Avenue and Hemlock Street. * A man with an off-leash dog on North 19th Avenue was warned after the ball he was throwing for the dog went out into the street causing the dog to follow after. * While a parking officer was issuing a person a ticket, the person drove off and struck the officer. The officer was not injured and the person was cited for reckless driving. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following: * A man and a woman in an SUV hit two barrels and almost struck flaggers in a construction area near Big Sky Spur and Gallatin roads. When stopped by a person in the area, the SUV driver swore and said he "could do whatever he wanted." (That's one of the roads to Yellowstone Park). * A man provided information on a scam in which he was told a person would meet him to hand over a large sum of money. The man never showed. * A man reported an abandoned car behind his residence on Andrea Drive. He asked if the car was stolen and whether he could drive it. * Loud noises were reported near Penwell Bridge around 10 p.m. The person reporting the noise said it sounded like someone might be blowing up beaver dams. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 21 Aug 09 - 11:11 AM Two men practicing their golf swings hit a ball through a neighbor's garage window. A "renegade golf cart" was running cars off the road on West Babcock Street around 9:30 p.m. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Wednesday included the following: A deputy, checking on a suspicious cooler left by the side of the road, found a bag of rotten meat and several maggots inside. An elderly woman was throwing wood onto the road on Jackrabbit Lane around 5:30 p.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 22 Aug 09 - 01:37 PM The manager of a bar called 911 because "college kids" got upset when he refused to serve them alcohol "due to their level of intoxication." A girl who reported her car stolen after leaving a party found it just down the block from the house where she had been. She was cited for minor in possession of alcohol and told not to move her car. A man found a wallet that did not belong to him in the back seat of his vehicle that appeared there while he was attending a concert a few days ago. A man was irate over a used car and wanted a refund. A woman reported some juveniles stole beer from her store but it turned out they had legally bought a bottle of soda. Police stopped a cyclist after he was seen riding on the sidewalk and nearly rode into a police car. The man also attempted to flee. He was cited for traffic violations. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following: Residents of Covered Wagon Trailer Court reported hearing an explosion around 4:30 a.m. Northwestern Energy said they were doing some work and the loud noise was caused by a blown fuse. A woman discovered a man "digging through her refrigerator" when she arrived home on Juniper Drive around 10:30 a.m. He took off and the woman thought he may have stolen her Patriots hat. A man, honking at a woman in a parking lot on West Main Street, yelled obscenities at her when she rolled down her vehicle window. A man said he mistakenly sent a photo message of a man's genitalia to a 10-year-old boy's emergency cell phone. He "apologized profusely" saying he had sent it to some friends as a joke and had apparently programmed the wrong number into his phone. He promised to correct the number in his phone. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 24 Aug 09 - 10:55 AM • Remote-control car races were reported Saturday morning in a parking lot on North Seventh Avenue. The cars were loud and were waking up guests of a nearby hotel. • A man was reportedly sitting on a lawn chair at the Bozeman Beach, acting strange for the second day in a row. • Three underage kids were reportedly smoking at the Skate Park. Officers found several kids, but no cigarettes. The kids were warned about the dangers of smoking. • A man, pulled over for suspicion of driving under the influence of alcohol, could not walk and was in possession of a gallon of vodka. • A woman reported that her boyfriend came to her house and had been drinking and making rude comments. She said he would not leave. He eventually left with no clothes on. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 25 Aug 09 - 10:30 AM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Sunday included the following: * A man tried to kick a vehicle that was parked on North Seventh Avenue around 12:30 a.m. He failed to do so. * Two intoxicated men told an officer that they lost their friend somewhere between The Scoop bar and her residence. * Two women, who were arguing about a man -- one's son, the other's husband -- were separated after the man's mother reported her daughter-in-law came into the room yelling and then threw tea on her. * A small puppy running loose in a building set off a burglar alarm around 6 p.m. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following: * A woman asked for assistance turning off a fan in her house that had been on for several days. She said she'd called dozens of people and no one could help her and she was freezing. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Arnie Date: 26 Aug 09 - 10:37 AM Slight thread drift but I was wondering why you dial 911 in the States? In the UK it's 999 which seems a bit easier, as you can do it without moving your finger from one number to another. Does 999 clash with some other service in the US? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:05 AM Remember old rotary phone dials? One is the shortest number to DIAL on a phone... it should have been 111 instead of 911 to dial the fastest. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 26 Aug 09 - 11:08 AM From the History of 911 Emergency... The new emergency number had to be three numbers that were not in use in the United States or Canada as the first three numbers of any phone number or area code, and the numbers had to be easy to use. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Arnie Date: 26 Aug 09 - 12:18 PM Thanks Alice -I'd completely forgotten about the old dial-up phones! As you say, in that case the no. should be 111 and if that was once an area code then the emergency services should have had taken over the code - bit late now I suppose. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Aug 09 - 09:56 AM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following: An angry man was stomping around a store on North 19th Avenue. He was walking in circles and "tore something up" there. A report of toddlers playing perilously close to an irrigation ditch turned out to be boys ranging in age from 5 to 10. They were not in danger. A caller complained that city workers were damaging gravestones while mowing in Sunset Hills Cemetery. A woman came home to find her neighbor's children in her house. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following: A man jumped out in front of a vehicle and began yelling on Amsterdam Road around 1:30 a.m. Gravel was stolen from a homeowners' association pit. Firefighters arrived at a home to find lots of smoke but no substantial fire after the homeowners put a chicken in the oven, left the residence and the chicken burned. A caller said there were some people staying at a campground who were "spooky." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 30 Aug 09 - 10:18 AM The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following: A 4-year-old girl called 911, reported that her stuffed cat Garfield had died and hung up. A deputy responded to the girl's home and, with her parents, explained proper 911 usage. A man hired to clean a foreclosed home on Huffine Lane reported a foul smell inside the home. Deputies found a dead cat under the couch. A deputy responded to a report of a large, angry badger outside a man's home on Buffalo Orchard Trail. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 03 Sep 09 - 09:27 PM A caller wanted to know what could be done about some confiscated chickens. A man accused another man of having his coat, which had been stolen a year ago from a house in Louisiana. An officer explained to the accuser that the manufacturer had made more than one of that particular coat. A woman wanted to know what she could do about a garage band playing loudly most of the day. A man hunting doves misread a map and accidentally ended up on private land where he did not have permission to be. He apologized and left immediately. A bear was spotted in a motor home on Juniper Drive around 10 p.m. No one was inside the camper. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 04 Sep 09 - 10:45 AM * A note was left on a parked car and "some kind of dressing, possibly ranch." * A shaggy dog wandering around South Church Avenue around 10 a.m. looked lost, according to a caller. * Police found a man, who came to another man's house trying to sell magazines, passed out in a neighbor's yard. The caller, who dispatchers said was "very upset (and) belligerent himself - yelling and cussing," said the magazine salesman was highly intoxicated and was rude and aggressive when asked to leave. * Another magazine salesman also got belligerent when a woman told him she was closing the door. The man had handed the woman a note that said something about smoking pot and asking for a beer. * A man accidently hit the emergency button in an elevator with a grocery bag. * Neighbors were talking loudly on their front porch around 11 p.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 05 Sep 09 - 10:13 AM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Thursday included the following: * A woman thought a man in a blue pickup with a guitar on Annie Street was strange. * A female driver wanted police to speak with a male driver about his "gestures" and almost cutting her off a couple of times on North 19th Avenue. * A seemingly intoxicated man, who was having difficulty spelling his last name, wanted to speak with a sergeant regarding some stolen guns. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following: * A deputy stopped to check on a man who had fallen asleep in his car at the Cameron Bridge Fishing Access and was too intoxicated to drive around midnight. A family member picked him up. * A deputy answered questions from a caller about a mountain lion spotted near Manhattan [town near Bozeman]. * A caller reported that a neighbor's 10 puppies had been constantly whining for three days. * A man said he was hit in the mouth by his boss while in a vehicle. * A caller said that a transient had "overstayed her welcome" and would like her "moved along." * A man reported hearing his neighbor using the vacuum that he recently reported stolen. * Deputies received several reports of noisy fireworks in the River Rock area around 10 p.m. but "the fireworks show was over before deputies located the source." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 06 Sep 09 - 09:49 AM A hound dog, which officers had previously attempted to capture, was baying around 2 a.m. on a hill near Bozeman Deaconess Hospital. A very intoxicated man was taken home by officers around 2 a.m. after he was found passed out in shrubbery on North Fifth Avenue. After arriving at his home, the man then yelled obscenities at officers "for unknown reasons." A male driver was cited for several traffic offenses after he missed the turn at Oak Street and Ferguson Avenue and landed his car in a small pond around 6 a.m. A man who was yelling and cursing at his German shepherd was weaving and walking into traffic on Huffine Lane. The dog "was trying to get away from him" and "trying to get into vehicles," forcing cars to slam on their brakes to avoid both man and dog. A vinyl sign was stolen from the Campus Ministry building. A woman who advertised for a roommate on Craigslist said she is receiving "strange" e-mails. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following: A woman said two men in a red Durango were driving slowly through the neighborhood, as if "casing" the houses, around noon. Deputies responded to a "heated roadside exchange" between an elderly male driver and a female driver on U.S. Highway 191. Deputies received a call from the airport about a "heated argument" between a customer and an employee. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 07 Sep 09 - 01:06 PM * A cab driver reported at 2 a.m. that a passenger jumped out of his cab on W. Cameron Bridge Road and ran after refusing to pay his fare. The runner's flip-flops were later found in a nearby field. * A movie theater clerk reported receiving a counterfeit $20 bill. The man who paid with the bill was located inside the theater. Officers questioned him and found two outstanding warrants; he was arrested and taken to the Gallatin County Detention Center. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Saturday included the following: * A caller reported hearing loud noises and yelling near Frontage Road at around midnight. Officers found neighbors playing a late-night volleyball game. The players were asked to quiet down. * A man in a white truck reportedly drove up to a house on Dooley Lane and asked the resident if he'd like "any of his fresh vegetables." The resident said the man got back in his truck and drove away, but that "it was very strange." * A 20-pound pig was reportedly running loose on Thorpe Road. The caller was concerned the pig might cause a traffic hazard. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Jim Carroll Date: 07 Sep 09 - 01:24 PM In the Halcyon days before parking meters and attendants it was the job of the police to attend to badly parked cars. One bobby got fed up with issuing tickets to a persistant offender who left his Roller parked in the same place every day with his dog in it, but, as he was a Freemason friend of the Station commander, got away with it each time. One day, instead of issuing the ticket, the bobby pushed several pieces of laxative chewing gum (EXLAX??) through the partially open window of the car, which apeared to solve the problem! Jim Carroll |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 09 Sep 09 - 11:00 AM A man, who said he was punched, decided not to press charges against his assailant "after he realized he might have started it." Police stopped a vehicle after seeing a man riding in back of it on a boat trailer. The driver was unaware of the rider. A bear and her cubs were spotted in a tree in Hauser Park off Kagy Boulevard around 2:30 p.m. A person was warned for shooting a bow and arrow within city limits. A report of a fire in an apartment building on Durston Road turned out to be someone who had burned their dinner. A resident of Yellowtail Road found a golf cart high-centered in their backyard and thought it might be stolen. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 10 Sep 09 - 12:31 PM Deputies responded to a residence near Three Forks for the second time in a few weeks for a report of gunshots in the area around 2:30 a.m. The man initially denied any wrongdoing but later admitted to "having come home and wanting to impress his possible future girlfriend with his marksmanship skills at night." The officers warned the man about his behavior and told him he'd be cited if it happened again. A man who had had an argument with his wife earlier in the evening was found sleeping in his car in the driveway of his home around 2:30 a.m. A deputy arrived at a residence "to find a very upset male who dialed the wrong number" after dispatchers received a 911 hang-up call from him. A caller reported receiving some "weird" mail from California. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 17 Sep 09 - 02:10 PM A black bear was seen on North 22nd Avenue around 8:30 a.m. Bears were also seen on Hunters Way and Oliver Street a short while later. A man was told to put on more appropriate clothing after he was seen outside his home wearing only his boxer shorts. An elderly woman was having difficulty getting her escaped llama back in its pen around 8 p.m. A woman who runs a daycare center was concerned after seeing an obviously sick fox in the yard. A man who had hung up on a 911 dispatcher was shouting when a deputy arrived. He said he had misdialed the phone and was yelling for his dog. A deputy was unable to track down two horses reportedly trotting down the eastbound lane of South 19th Avenue around 11 p.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 17 Sep 09 - 03:24 PM Rochester Times (NH) 4:05 p.m. — In East Rochester, a lady is out in front of her house yelling at a neighbor in front of "a ton of kids." A fight is expected at any moment. In just a few minutes, the event boasts 10 kids, two women still in each other's faces, and several gawkers. 7:07 p.m. — On Rochester Hill Road, a man in plaid shorts is being chased by a Jeep. Yelling breaks out. 9:08 p.m. — At the station a man would like to talk about a very serious matter. Some minutes later he calls 911 from the lobby to say that police are not taking the matter seriously, and notes that he cannot be out after 8:30 p.m. 6:36 a.m. — On South Main Street, a woman in the Dunkin' Donuts parking lot wants to fight with a man. 11:05 a.m. — Two gentlemen slug it out on Summer Street. 11:05 a.m. — A pot pipe pops up in a playground at Cold Spring Manor. 11:17 a.m. — On Church Street, a woman is banging on a door after threatening to come over in the belief the caller stole her clothes. 1:17 p.m. — At the station, a woman reports her sister stole her pills and is selling them. Plus, she is offering to pay people in drugs for stealing clothes. 3:30 p.m. — — A lady has urinated on Lafayette Street, more in urgency than as a public statement. She is taken into protective custody and later released to a neighbor. 8:41 p.m.— A lady enters the lobby to report an assault by a gentleman. When pried for information, she says she is going to find and kill him. 11:52 p.m. — At the Knights of Columbus, a man wearing all black is investigated. He is not the Black Knight. 9:12 a.m. — Highland Street Dunkin' Donuts have a theft on video. No, 20 officers don't rush to respond. 2:35 p.m. — A property owner says a black dog from Jackson Street is leaving brown deposits. 3:33 p.m. — A 16-year-old seeking to turn himself in on a bench warrant obligingly hangs around for an hour until an officer is available. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 18 Sep 09 - 12:57 PM A disturbance during which someone was reportedly heard saying he was going to kill someone turned out to be a group of people playing capture the flag in a park. Four dogs running loose hampered a worker's efforts to get fresh concrete poured on Sitting Bull Road around 2:30 p.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 20 Sep 09 - 02:02 PM An 18-year-old man was arrested for minor in possession after running down the street with a case of beer in his hand at about 1 a.m. A man in a vehicle was warned for making employees at a coffee stand uncomfortable by "continually staring at them." Someone called about neighbors who "continually use a buzz saw every day." A man and woman stole produce from a community garden. Officers responded to a report of gunshots on Annie Street, but found that residents had been lighting off fireworks. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following: A black cow on Jackrabbit Lane crossed the road in front of traffic several times. A Park County deputy reported a black bear roaming around by Frontage Road. A car was driving through yards and "spinning brodies" on Big Hole Street. A man trying to sell magazines on Redwood Street was asking for food and money and didn't leave the neighborhood for a long time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 21 Sep 09 - 11:38 AM * Two teenage boys were reportedly sneaking around vehicles parked on North 27th Avenue around midnight. The boys were driving a tan-colored sedan and had left by the time officers arrived. * A "huge, out of control," party was reported around 1 a.m. at the Hawks Ridge Condos. Officers warned the residents and arrested one partygoer for obstructing an officer. * * A bear was reported early Saturday morning on the Linear Trail near East Garfield Street. By mid-morning the bear had made its way to South Grand Avenue and West Harrison Street, across from the Story Mansion. When the bear climbed into a tree, Fish and Game wardens were called. * A resident on Anne Street reported that her neighbor's smoke alarm had been going off and no one was answering the door. Eventually an intoxicated man opened the door, explaining that he had been cooking and had forgotten that the stove was on. * A woman called and asked if her sons were required to clean-up paintball remains on their neighbor's fence on 16th Avenue. The boys had been shooting paintball guns earlier in the day. (Why would you have to call police to ask that question?) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 23 Sep 09 - 10:42 AM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Monday included the following: A 32-year-old Bozeman man was arrested on a warrant after he was seen hiding behind a tree near West College Street while police were investigating a fireworks complaint around 12:30 a.m. He was held on $535 bond. Graffiti was painted on the back door of a business on North Seventh Avenue and several pallets were smashed. A lit cigarette was dropped in a business' drop box on Stoneridge Drive and ignited a bandana. This was the second incident of its kind at the business. [I come from Montana, I wear a bandana...] * A restaurant received a strange package in the mail. A business's company vehicle was wrapped in duct tape while parked on North Tracy Avenue. A 22-year-old woman was cited for shoplifting after attempting to steal lip balm from a business on North 19th Avenue. A black bear was seen ambling down Bridger Drive around noon. A llama was running on the Sourdough Trail and around the nearby neighborhood around 1:30 p.m. An American flag was stolen from a residence on South Black Avenue. A boy on juvenile probation was given a citation for stealing deli food from a store on North 19th Avenue. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Monday included the following: Someone at the National Guard Readiness Center in Belgrade "fat fingered" a keypad, mistakenly setting off a duress alarm there. A black bear and her cub were seen in a tree near Sundance Drive around 10 a.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 26 Sep 09 - 01:17 PM A woman reported a man walked up to her, handed her a picture of "the sex offender" and stated he was John Wayne. The woman told police she thought the male looked like the sex offender suspect. A man on East Valley Center Road said another man called him, told him he was the manager of another Outback Steakhouse, and said dirty things. A horse was in Dry Creek Road at 2:17 p.m. Two columns of smoke were seen from Sixteen Mile Road in northern Gallatin County. The fire was found to be in Meagher County. Neighbors on Hitching Post Road reported people who recently moved into a nearby house and were holding parties there nightly. Deputies found people fighting, and two males fled the scene when they arrived. The two males were apprehended and cited. Three others were also cited with minor in possession. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: curmudgeon Date: 30 Sep 09 - 01:36 PM From Rochester NH Thursday, Sept. 3 3:02 a.m. — On Charles Street, four folks yell and scream, for those in bed, fat chance to dream. 7:29 a.m. — A dead skunk raises a stink on Washington Street. 1:45 p.m. — A lady being very disruptive at the library is served with a no-trespass order. 9:21 p.m. — A drunk in a Lafayette Street apartment disturbs everyone else in the building. 10:10 p.m. — At Cold Spring Manor skateboard park, teens yell and smoke and curse and lark. Friday, Sept. 4 3:30 a.m. — A Chestnut Hill Road resident finds a man in his yard, next to his vehicles. The intruder mutters something about looking for a dog, and then takes off. 6:09 p.m. — There are four bunnies, enough for a pie, in a yard near the fairground. However, they are very well cared for and look like family pets, so the caller will look out for them until contacted by the owner. 10:40 p.m. — Citizens parked in Rochester Cemetery are "being romantic." They are told not to stop there again. 11:08 p.m. — Citizens in a vehicle near KFC are somewhat less than romantic. They fire an egg at another driver and splat him in the face 9:57 a.m. — A Governors Road mailbox has been mashed, with others possibly sharing the same fate. 1:23 p.m. — A woman who left her phone on the counter of a Hannaford pharmacy says that a young man told an employee he would run after her and give her it. Instead, he steals the phone. 1:28 p.m. — On Chestnut Street, one woman thumps another woman's door and yells in at her boyfriend.. 10:39 p.m. — A shirtless man (here we go) and his girlfriend stand in the middle of Quaker Lane and scream. Someone has taken their keys. 11:10 p.m. — On Academy, there are eight noisy people with bottles in their hands. Sunday, Sept. 6 8:44 a.m. — On Jackson Street, two dogs pick on one dog. 9:43 a.m. — A cyclist on Farmington Road receives an official warning for dropping a napkin. 10:39 a.m. — At Market Basket, a woman steals health and beauty aids. 5:53 p.m. — Teens yell and swear at a woman on Old Milton Road. 9:12 p.m. — Fireworks annoy residents on Nicole Street. 10:31 p.m. — Fireworks, music and people create a cacophony on Charles Street. Monday, Sept. 7 1:08 a.m. — On Evergreen Lane a van drives over a lawn and clunks into an inflatable swimming pool which is now leaking. 8:48 a.m. — At Salmon Falls Estates a man going to pick up his child reports his ex "throwing things at him." 8:57 a.m. — At the Lilac Mall Hannaford's, tensions rise when a suspicious man, wearing headphones and a white shirt walks into the store "with some sort of device strapped to his chest." Police make contact and find it is an infant wrapped in a blanket. 5:15 p.m. — A George & Ed's Store, a lady is hitting a gentleman and screaming in his face. 6:06 p.m. — Music blasts on Moores Court. A woman gets a final warning. Tuesday, Sept. 8 12:37 a.m. — On Knight Street a man rides a bike with no lights. On the plus side he does not drop a napkin. 1:09 p.m. — Graffiti blights a wall up at the Lilac Mall. 3:43 p.m. — A Cedarbrook Village woman wants to see an officer after her pet was injured in a dog fight. 6:03 p.m. — Fisticuffs break out near a pizza shop on North Main Street. 8:54 p.m. — Four men (probably napkin droppers) in the new Factory Court plaza keep harassing people as they walk by. Wednesday, Sept. 9 7:03 a.m. — On Lafayette Street, half a dozen people (not yet in bed, perhaps, rather than early risers) yell and start to fight. 8:46 a.m. — A truck driver is concerned about a hawk he struck accidentally near the Country Club. It is injured and trying to fly. Soon after, a woman brings the wrapped up bird to the station, and the animal control officer passes it along to someone who can nurse it back to health. 12:40 p.m. — At the station a woman reports her dog was attacked by a neighbor's dog.. 6:07 p.m. — A lady punches a gentleman right in the face on Joshua Street. Thursday, Sept. 10 11:11 a.m. — On Periwinkle Drive, a man says a neighbor stole his cat. The neighbor then phones to assert the first caller has threatened to shoot him. Police say the cat spat should be settled in civil court. 11:45 a.m. — In the lobby, someone "wants to speak to an officer about the neighbor's children and balls coming over the fence." 1:36 p.m. — At the station, a man says he thinks his soon-to-be-ex-wife is loosening his brakes. 1:47 p.m. — At the station, a citizen says they would like to see a newspaper article on bike safety and cyclists' rules of the road, pertaining to traffic lights, one-way road signs, stop signs, riding on the sidewalk, pulling out into traffic and cutting off vehicles. Plus napkin dropping. 3:23 p.m. — Graffiti has appeared on the door of the fire station museum in East Rochester. 5:03 p.m. — In a possible identity theft/scam, a "creditor" keeps calling a very elderly lady to say she owes Barclay's Bank $989. The scamsters have her social security number. 8:09 p.m. — There is a dead fox on Cross Road. 8:16 p.m. — Loud gunplay scares Hansonville Road children trying to sleep. It is the SWAT team practicing night shooting Friday, Sept. 11 7:52 a.m. — A homeless man is still using the facilities in the Professional Arts Building and scaring tenants. 8:40 a.m. — A dog yaps round the clock at Wellsweep Acres. 9:40 a.m. — A man is thought to be casing vehicles near Bank of America. He says he was waiting on a friend in the bank, and looking for loose change in a grassy area. 2:39 p.m. — A mother and teenage son slug it out at Cold Spring Manor. 5:02 p.m. — From Rochester Terrace MHP there is a report, via 911, of a teenage girl stripping for two older men. A second call is placed 10 minutes later which says, "Forget it. Forget it. They left. You missed it. The men put their clothes on and they left. " 6:34 p.m. — A woman on Chestnut Street yells at kids and then bawls obscenities at their remonstrating mother. 7:07 p.m. — A Soapstone Lane man is missing his wages and his medication. 10:32 p.m. — Fifteen kids at McClelland School try to lure a boy there to fight with them. 10:55 p.m. — A car is egged on Lowell and also on Old Dover Road, Double-yolked, so to speak. Police call on several purveyors of eggs in an effort to find the perpetrators. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 30 Sep 09 - 05:16 PM dropping napkins that's funny |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 01 Oct 09 - 10:01 AM Neighbors on Buffalo Jump Road were in a dispute over a ditch. One said he wanted tear down his neighbor's dyke with his tractor. A deputy was able to get the neighbors to resolve the issue "without any damage to the property." Three highly intoxicated men were chasing each other around outside, then inside a bar on North Rouse Avenue. All three gave police different accounts of what had taken place. All three were warned. A man on Mandeville Lane and Wheat Drive reported a porcupine was getting close to a day care in the area. A man on East Peach Street said his keys had been thrown into the bushes and his wife had locked him out of the house. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 03 Oct 09 - 10:53 AM People thought a man boiling water in a parking lot on North Seventh Avenue looked suspicious. Loud music was causing vibrations in a building on Blackbird Drive around 11:30 p.m. Big horn sheep were in the road near a curve on Gallatin Road, causing a hazard. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 04 Oct 09 - 12:05 PM Some men were heard singing together on an unintentional 911 call. A dog outside of a business was growling at employees trying to enter the business. A man dumped his trash in a business's dumpster after being warned that he wasn't allowed to use it. An officer assisted someone in getting his identification back from a bouncer. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following: Three horses without brands that were loose on Cottonwood Road were corralled. A man accidentally sent a fax with personal information to the wrong number, then sent another fax asking the recipients to destroy the previous communication. A deputy informed the man that since no crime was committed, he couldn't subpoena the information. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 05 Oct 09 - 12:17 PM * A caller reported that a man had broken into his home on North 5th Avenue through a sliding glass door and the fell asleep in the house. * A resident on South Black Avenue reported that his home was broken into by someone cutting through a screen window. Nothing was taken, but the thermostat had been lowered. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Saturday included the following: * A man called to request that deputies arrest his son on suspicion of theft. The caller said his son may have stolen a wallet from a family friend and that his son is either very tired or on drugs. * While a deputy was buying lunch at Albertsons, he witnessed an uncooperative shoplifter. Upon seeing the deputy, the offender ran and was subsequently tackled to the ground and placed under arrest. The deputy returned to recover his lunch. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 13 Oct 09 - 09:59 PM * A man pulled out a butcher knife to cut his meal after being served at a restaurant on North Seventh Avenue. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following: * A man whose vehicle got stuck in the snow around 1:30 a.m. wandered lost for about an hour before a deputy was able to find him in the Big Sky area. A bellman gave the man a ride to the resort where he had reservations. * Parts of a drum set were stolen from a garage. * A person, who appeared to be doing CPR on the side of Interstate 90 around 6:30 p.m., was cutting up a dead bear. * A man burying a dead horse hit a natural gas line. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 19 Oct 09 - 11:23 AM * A driver who was reported to be possibly intoxicated turned out to be delivering newspapers and not drunk. * A group of kids who were reportedly destroying playground equipment in Kirk Park were merely playing. A man called from a restaurant to report that he had been behaving bizarrely earlier in the day, yelling at neighbors. He was told that no one had called to report it and he went back to the Chinese restaurant where he had been eating. * Police spoke with some men near Crabapple Drive about their flying activity. They told the men they had to operate their paraglider at or over 500 feet when flying over a populated area. * A woman inadvertently dialed 911 while trying to take a picture with her cell phone. * A man reported that his vehicle was damaged by a pumpkin. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Saturday included the following: * A 14-year-old told a deputy that he "got bored and took (his parents') car for a drive." The boy did not have a license. He was cited and his parents were called to pick up the car. * A man filled his backpack with wine and left a store in Big Sky around 10:30 a.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Oct 09 - 11:01 AM * A neighbor complained that a garage band was playing loudly. He said it was an ongoing situation and was "getting old." The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Sunday included the following: * Montana Fish, Wildlife and Parks was notified after someone reporting finding an elk that was shot on a golf course. * Hunters had questions about who gets to tag an elk after two hunters shot and followed it when it didn't die and a third hunter shot it dead. * A grizzly bear had two hunters up a tree after one of them shot an elk. The bear eventually left the hunters to eat the dead elk. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: 3refs Date: 27 Oct 09 - 11:14 AM DEA officer stops at a ranch in Texas , and talks with an old rancher. He tells the rancher, "I need to inspect your ranch for illegally grown drugs." Gault says, "Okay , but do not go in that field over there," as he points out the location. The DEA officer verbally explodes saying, " Mister, I have the authority of the Federal Government with me." Reaching into his rear pants pocket, he removes his badge and proudly displays it to Gault. "See this badge? This badge means I am allowed to go wherever I wish.... On any land. No questions asked or answers given. Have I made myself clear? Do you understand? " Gault nods politely, apologizes, and goes about his chores. A short time later, the old rancher hears loud screams and sees the DEA officer running for his life chased close behind by the rancher's prize bull. With every step the bull is gaining ground on the officer, and it seems likely that he'll get " Horned " before he reaches safety. The officer is clearly terrified. Gault throws down his tools, runs to the fence and yells at the top of his lungs..... " Your badge. Show him your BADGE!!!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 26 Nov 09 - 07:36 PM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following: A student reported that a hard drive was stolen from a locker at the high school. A black bear was spotted in a park near Cherry Drive around 1 p.m. Police returned a backpack that had been left in front of a home on East Griffin Drive to an elementary school student. A woman reported that "things were amiss" in her home. Someone turned an outside faucet to a home on, flooding the basement. A woman heard noises outside her window. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following: An inmate was taken back into custody after he broke a sprinkler head in the jail while he was being bonded out around 6:30 a.m. A caller said neighbor children were being excessively loud -- so loud the caller "could not eat dinner nor watch television" around 7 p.m. A driver that appeared to be driving while under the influence was having mechanical problems. A deputy gave him a ride to his home in Belgrade. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 12 Dec 09 - 01:42 PM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Thursday included the following: * Two intoxicated MSU students were cited for being minors in possession of alcohol after threatening a pizza delivery man over being shorted a sandwich around midnight. * Two juveniles were charged with burglary after a man saw them leave his house and go into his backyard. The boys had marijuana pipes on them. The two were also cited for theft and possession of drug paraphernalia among other charges. They were released to their parents. * A woman with "a hat pulled down over her face" didn't even slow down at a stop sign and almost hit another driver. * A person said a neighbor's German shepherd mix uses their yard for a bathroom daily. The dog's owner was warned. * A man said he accidently sat on his phone inadvertently dialing 911. * A man said several people called in to a radio show saying they wanted to beat him up after he called in and expressed his opinion. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Thursday included the following: * Someone rifled through a man's vehicle over the weekend. * A laptop and a wetsuit were stolen from a locked vehicle parked in an employee lot at the Yellowstone Club. * A driver on Interstate 90 saw a flare go off in the cliffs near Frog Rock near the Trail Creek interchange around 4:30 p.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 22 Dec 09 - 06:12 PM There seem to be a lot of issues concerning Christmas decorations. -- * A woman was outside having a cigarette on South 12th Avenue around 2:30 a.m. when she heard "someone running and breathing heavily and banging things around. It was so heavy, it sounded like a bear," she told a dispatcher. * Bones unearthed by workers digging for a new city complex on East Griffin Drive turned out to be those of a cow. * Christmas lights were taken from a home on Michael Grove Avenue overnight. * Other Christmas lights were stolen in the middle of the day from a residence on Cover Street. * Christmas decorations were also taken from residences on Meriwether and North Seventh avenues. * A Belgrade resident reported that neighbors were hanging Christmas lights and fighting around 10 p.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 24 Dec 09 - 11:52 AM Garbage is a recurring theme in reports published today: Someone put garbage on a man's truck. A man took an item off a shelf in a 19th Avenue store and tried to return it for cash. A woman said someone came into her house and moved her pictures. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following: A woman said someone hit her neighbor's trash can, spewing garbage all over her driveway. A suspect got off with a warning after agreeing to clean up the wall of the house the suspect previously pelted with paintballs. A garbage can was stolen from a residence on Gallatin Road. People were riding around on ATVs on private property and chasing elk. A large herd of elk were creating a traffic hazard at the intersection of Bridger Canyon and Jackson Creek roads. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Midchuck Date: 24 Dec 09 - 02:19 PM People were riding around on ATVs on private property and chasing elk. Isn't that what living in Montana is all about? (Nyuck, nyuck) Peter |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: gnu Date: 24 Dec 09 - 05:30 PM People were riding around on ATVs on private property and chasing elk. A large herd of elk were creating a traffic hazard at the intersection of Bridger Canyon and Jackson Creek roads. Hmmmmm.... tit for tat? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 25 Dec 09 - 08:38 PM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Wednesday included the following: A dispatcher heard "the Peanuts Theme" in the background during a 911 hang up call. An officer found a stolen vehicle and returned it to the owner. An employee stole a gift card from a store. A 26-year-old Bozeman man, a store employee, was arrested after he was caught on video stealing money from the till. No one was seriously injured when a driver rear-ended a police officer while the officer was waiting to make a left turn at North Church Avenue and East Main Street. Police warned two people after they were reported "arguing, pushing and flipping each other off." Four teen boys were skiing on church steps and the railing around 10 p.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 27 Dec 09 - 03:07 PM An officer spoke with a driver who had stopped at a nativity scene on North 19th Avenue at 11:23 p.m. and was blocking a lane of traffic. A man complained that fireworks going off somewhere downtown were bothering his dog. A 17-year-old girl was reported to be throwing plates at her father after he tried to take away her computer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Bobert Date: 27 Dec 09 - 04:32 PM True Story: Arrested: Danny Presgraves Occupation: Page Co., Va. Sheriff Charges: 22 Felonies included several for sexual harassment of subordinates, taking bribes, Obstruction of justice, racketeering and money laundering But here's the kicker: Even though Danny was facing over 200 years he copped a plea to one charge, the other 21 were dropped and he will begin servin' a 19 month sentence in January... Talk about some pissed off women who he forced to, ahhhhhhh, nevermind... Welcome to rural Virginia, folks... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 29 Dec 09 - 03:46 PM * A dispatcher heard people speaking about making peanut butter balls during a 9-1-1 hang up call. * A "convention" of dozens of snowmobiles were parked on "everyone's property" near Mule Deer Road around 4:30 p.m. * A deputy checked on a man "wandering in the meadow drunk" around midnight. * A caller wanted to know what to do with a grocery cart left on a neighbor's lawn on South 10th Avenue. * Teenage siblings who were fighting with each other were separated. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 31 Jan 10 - 10:45 AM The manager of a downtown bar found a wallet containing a fake ID on the dance floor and asked officers to come pick it up. A driver was stopped for trailing an extension cord plugged into the engine block heater behind the vehicle, creating a potential hazard. A man who had been pulled over by officers several days ago said that his machete was missing after officers searched his car. A wrecked Chevy Suburban was stolen from a local car lot. A driver was stopped after chasing a herd of elk from the roadway into a field. In addition to DUI, the man was cited for "Harassing Big Game Animals with a Vehicle." Big Sky Ski Patrol transported a man off the mountain who had been skiing without a lift ticket. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 14 Feb 10 - 11:44 AM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Friday included the following: - A green Subaru almost hit a man carrying a tuba in a crosswalk on Babcock Street around 1 p.m. - The owner of a black Labrador was cited around 1 p.m. for having an unlicensed dog after her dog was reportedly growling and "pooping in yards." - A woman asked for assistance in moving her vehicle around 8 p.m., because she believed the vehicle parked behind her was too close for her to move without "ripping the license plate off." There was no damage when she eventually moved. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Friday included the following: - Eight people refused to leave the third floor of a county business and began "tearing signs off of the walls" around 4:30 p.m. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 11 Mar 10 - 02:30 PM * A reportedly large, loud group of people were gathered around a bonfire in a condominium complex parking lot in Big Sky around 1:30 a.m. A deputy found it was only a "handful" of people who were "sacrificing to the snow god." They were told to quiet down. * A driver reported that a truck in front of him had trash flying out of the back of his tarp-covered truck bed. The truck's driver was warned. * A dispatcher heard only a toilet flushing when calling back a 911 hang up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 11 Jun 10 - 11:58 AM # A man found passed out on a church lawn downtown was taken home and the stolen cue ball in his pocket was returned to the bar it came from. # Two men were warned for sleeping in a department store. One of them was only partially clothed. # A homeowner was warned about a loud party after a neighbor reported hearing loud singing coming from the home around 4:30 a.m. # A bear was seen in the backyard of a home on Graf Street around 11 a.m. "minding his own business, just wandering around." |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: LadyJean Date: 12 Jun 10 - 01:02 AM I've lived most of my life in the city, where the police are called for shootings and robberies. Now I live in a suburb, where the guy next door called the cops about a bees nest on my back porch, and they came. The old gent next door has lived his entire adult life in the borough. He knows the mayor, and most of the council. He also has trouble backing up his minivan. I have learned to keep at least four feet between my car and his van. A friend stopped by one evening, and parked his car right behind the gent next door's minivan. He complained to me. I assured him my friend would move the car, then we went back to well...what we'd been doing. Half an hour later a cop banged on my front door. My friend and I dressed hastily. The cop informed my friend that he would have to move his car. He did, with the neighbor looking on. Afterwards I said to my friend, formerly of U.S. Special Forces, "Mr.... was in Korea, that's something you should know about." "Korea," says my friend brightly, "Really! What regiment were you in?" I went inside, poured myself a Coke and found my knitting, knowing I had achieved peace in our time. But I do miss the city, where the police are called for robberies and shootings, not cars that are in somebody's way. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 12 Jun 10 - 11:37 AM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Monday included the following: * An apartment dweller said someone was "bumping" around 12:30 a.m. and that the noise is an ongoing problem. * An officer checked on a man seen standing in the rain for "an abnormally long time." * Windows of several vehicles parked on South 12th, 13th, 15th and 16th avenues were broken and items stolen from them. * A naked man was reportedly hiding in trees near the trail to Peets Hill behind the library around 4:30 p.m. Police did not find the man. * Police warned people for having a skateboard ramp in the middle of South Ninth Avenue, blocking traffic around 5:45 p.m. * A moose was on the loose near the hospital on Haggerty Lane around 8 p.m. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Monday included the following: * A man turned in a gun he found in the Absarokee Mountains. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Ebbie Date: 13 Jun 10 - 01:52 PM LAW AND ORDER. . . From Ear's favorite police blotter, in Dutch Harbor: "05/18/10 Tue. 2227 Domestic Disturbance ... Officers mediated a dispute between two men in a boarding house after one man, who had failed to clean his rice pot this morning, found it in his bed when he returned from work. The petty squabble continued, with the second man repeatedly pulling the plug on the microwave as the first man tried to heat his dinner. Officers asked the two men to make an attempt to behave like adults." Read more: http://www.adn.com/2010/06/12/1320659/alaska-ear.html#ixzz0qkvC1DyK "06/05/10 Sat. 2133 ...Husband was concerned that his wife might be a danger to herself due to the amount of alcohol she had consumed this evening. Midway through this report, the wife took the phone from him and reported that her dumb husband was cheating on her and sending her hard-earned money to his foreign girlfriend. Officers determined that the couple's marital difficulties had not escalated to a point where further police intervention was required." Read more: http://www.adn.com/2010/06/12/1320659/alaska-ear.html#ixzz0qkvLKEHe |
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Subject: RE: BS: Funny Police Reports in your home town From: Alice Date: 13 Jun 10 - 02:13 PM The Bozeman Police Department reports for Tuesday included the following: * A man wanted officers to be aware of his disgruntled views toward a bar. * A moose was wandering around North Church Avenue around 7:30 a.m. and later became "kind of trapped" in a man's backyard on Fridley Street. Police were unable to find the moose. * A moose was spotted in the wetlands near the end of East Main Street around 2:30 p.m. The Gallatin County Sheriff's Office reports for Tuesday included the following: * A barefoot man was sitting alongside Gallatin Road around 9 a.m. and was hitchhiking. He was playing the harmonica and either waving at or flipping off drivers passing by. He eventually got a ride. |
