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BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark
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Subject: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Amos Date: 31 Jul 00 - 10:31 AM I proposed in an earlier thread on this topic, too long to bring forward here, that a religion based on the contemplation of pulchritudinous curvature should be founded. I am happy to report that my perfervid intuition has once again been validated by "hard" science. The following is relayed by an office mate from the NE Journal of Medicine: "Would you believe this actually came from the New England Journal of Medicine?"
Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.
According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out" declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.
the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so. the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates, and
fewer instances of coronary artery disease.
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte Date: 31 Jul 00 - 11:06 AM I once saw a voluptuous woman in a tight T-shirt with huge breasts walking down the street. You could not help but turn around to get a complete viewing of her body. On the back to her T-shirt was written 'Grow Your Own!' I thought that was pretty funny. Bonnie (who now feels she is a volunteer for community health services as she walks down the street in a tank top) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Irish sergeant Date: 31 Jul 00 - 11:39 AM Trust me I look but when I saw the title of this thread, all I could think of was the movie Gettysburg where buster (Kevin Conway) and Joshua Chamberlain (Jeff Daniels) are having a discussion abou mankind being blessed with a divine spark. Sick yes, but hey I am a Civil War reenactor. Of course, I do admire seeing young ladies in hoop skirts.. Neil |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Pete peterson at work Date: 31 Jul 00 - 12:26 PM Yes, and remember Mark Twain, some years later: "The average American would rather see Lillian Russell naked than General Grant in full uniform." also remember Hood's remark to the Yankee lady wearing an American flag pin, pinned over her chest. I think this is alluded to in Killer Angels (the book0 but didn't make it into the movie. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Date: 31 Jul 00 - 12:47 PM I'd rather look into her soul. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C Date: 31 Jul 00 - 12:49 PM Neil, you ought to know that corsets tend to smush the bust curvature down a little bit... unless you're Jane Russell, in which case you'll get an entirely different effect. (Let me say in defense of the corset that it is NOT a torture device as many have been led to believe.) I think all that medical hoohaw was fabricated by Some Dirty Old Man who just wants to ogle breasts. Same goes for beauty pageants... if it's for a college scholarship, why do you have to walk around in a swimsuit? But now, my question is, what about us ladies who are not "well-endowed"? Does it have to be at least a C cup to have any health benefits? If so, that leaves me out. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: SINSULL Date: 31 Jul 00 - 01:37 PM And what about the health benefits to us ladies who have been known to notice curvature on the opposite sex? Or has nature once again given us the short end of the stick (no pun intended) and inflicted early heart failure on female oglers? Nothing wrong with dying with a smile on one's face... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Date: 31 Jul 00 - 02:04 PM Now HOW did I know this HAD to be an Amos thread??? How elegant, BTW, is God's creation! *G* ~S~
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen Date: 31 Jul 00 - 02:15 PM LOL...reminds me of a professor I had in college: "Men would pay more attention to a woman's mind if it bounced gently when she walked" ~Elle (look all you want, you touch and I breaka you face) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Date: 31 Jul 00 - 02:18 PM And it's always hard to nail down causative factors... did the study discuss other activities that may have occurred concomitantly with the ogling, to see if other attributables existed? Attributes, yeah, attributes, that's what that means, uh huh... ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Amergin Date: 31 Jul 00 - 02:30 PM Great this means I don't have to participate in any activities to get my exercise....just sit there and watch.... Amerginwhohashishandinhispocket..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Date: 31 Jul 00 - 02:37 PM And what about the 100 "non-lookers"..... snork! Yeah! I am sure they were entirely compliant! Did they keel over? Jen, I think we owe it to the men among us to provide some sort of worship opportunity in the resource pages. How does that song go.... "BOOBS! I'm gonna live foh-reh-vah!" ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen Date: 31 Jul 00 - 02:45 PM IMHO there is no such thing as a Non-Looker!! Sorry Praise, I only flash truckers....Besides, there needs to be a bit of mystery to the Divine. What about the guys who got to smell, nuzzle and taste? Are they now invincible? ~Elle |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Date: 31 Jul 00 - 03:52 PM Ow! Ow!! Oh ooh owwww! LOLSHIH!!!! (So Hard It Hurts) JenEllen! I did not mean to imply flashing! You is a married womon now, girl! (Glad to see it ain't affected yer MIND!) I had in mind... a fully clothed and yet somehow worthwhile experience! I know. We need a new thread. Or we can hijack this one. Total inches, running count, of Mudcat female bustline. To be sure there is enough of the divine here to qualify Amos' plan for a new church. 52 and counting! Let's go, girls! ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen Date: 31 Jul 00 - 03:57 PM Yeah, my mind gently bounces too!!! LOL ~The Divine Miss "L" |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Naemanson Date: 31 Jul 00 - 04:14 PM So let me get this straight.(!) If I watch a woman's chest I will be getting as much exercise as a 30 minute aerobic workout. Does this count outrunning her SO? Actually I prefer the hours of exercise that could occur if she smiles at me when I look. And what about the women I see while I am working out? Does this double the effect of the workout? Can I do a thirty minute aerobic workout at the gym and chalk it up as an hour? There is only one way to find out. We will have to conduct our own experiment to confirm the report. Half of us will have to go on looking and the other half has to quit. Being as how I am proposing the experiment I get to be a looker. Now we need volunteers for lookers and non lookers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C Date: 31 Jul 00 - 04:15 PM Praise, add 35 to that. (Okay, so I'm odd. Makes shopping for foundations a never-ending adventure. What I'd like to know is, when did bras get to be so damn expensive! And why is it so hard to find one that FITS!) If women ogling men is of any health benefit, I will probably live forever. Yes, I'm married, but I ain't DEAD! Already told Mister if Mel Gibson's wife dies (because he probably will never divorce her), he'll be in big trouble. Mister, that is. I may have been ogled once or twice. Mister freely admits to ogling me on an ongoing basis, but of course, that's his job. He admits to admiring shapely women; although, one evening we went to a restaurant and a woman in his line of view was VERY well-endowed and falling out of her blouse (which was actually a swimsuit, it turned out). He switched places at the table so his back was toward her. "I can't look at that while I'm eating," he said. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Date: 31 Jul 00 - 04:23 PM That's right! Those other girls don't even get so much as a quick glance from me! Cuz I don't need them! I got a girl and don't care about any others! BTW read this. --Matt |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C Date: 31 Jul 00 - 04:39 PM Nice job, Mbo. Very sweet. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Date: 31 Jul 00 - 05:36 PM OK, 52 + 35 + 87, who's next, add as you go.... ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen Date: 31 Jul 00 - 06:43 PM Gawd, if that's true, the dairy farmers around here are healthy as all get-out....I don't imagine many of you girls ever pull calves, but put a tank top, get on your knees and fish around under the couch for a bit...things tend to show. Mary in Kentucky can coroborate...at the clinic, one of the little cartridges for 'bloodwork' is about the size of a matchbook. It has to be refridgerated to keep, but heated to body temp to use. I shocked the hell out of our drug rep. by grabbing one out of the fridge and tucking it in my cleavage before running into the exam room (WHAT could bring up temp faster, I ask you???) Naemanson; I'll be suprised if you find ANY here for control group....you'll have to come up with an adequate placebo...LOL
~Elle |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Date: 31 Jul 00 - 07:04 PM Jen! You ARE my sister! I have heated baby bottles that way! (When I was babysitting, you sillies!) Ladies... 'fess up. Do you carry your car keys in there too? We had a funny thread, awhile back, about what-all people keep in their instrument cases. I think I won a prize for how much I could stuff in an autoharp case. But brazzers-- personal instrument storage case.... keys, money, pager, business cards, yeah! Pager!! hahaaa! Mine BEEP! *G* Or vibrate! ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: SINSULL Date: 31 Jul 00 - 07:12 PM And while the ladies are running around searching for measuring tapes, can we expect the gentlemen to make use of their 12" rulers? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Date: 31 Jul 00 - 07:18 PM Oh dear...that's TOO funny! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Date: 31 Jul 00 - 07:24 PM Sinsull, I try never to confuse equality with e-quality. I think it will be better if we girls just rave on. Notice how we ladies add ours up instead of comparing and competing. Unfortunately, I fear your "suggestion" might simply cause a Mudcat Testosterone Alert. Besides, what if they forgot to actually measure? That would be a shame. Oh, I enjoy being a girl! (Preen, preen!) *G*
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Naemanson Date: 31 Jul 00 - 07:27 PM I'd offer a measurement but nobody would believe it. Besides, it isn't how much you have but how you use it. I don't usually talk this way. You people are a bad influence!*BG* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Date: 31 Jul 00 - 07:39 PM Tell me about it Naemason! But then like Bert says... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Homeless Date: 31 Jul 00 - 08:04 PM I'll volunteer to be in the control group. I've seen enough in my day that I can live without for a while. Besides, I just started a diet and riding a bicycle 5 miles a day - I could do without the extra strain caused by scheduled ogling. It's a clean job, but someone's gotta do it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen Date: 31 Jul 00 - 08:21 PM Sinsull, I thought for guys it was the platitude of "It's not what you have, it's how you use it..."???? I consider it a benefit of patriarchal oppression to NOT have to compare the "gals" to others like a bunch of Holsteins at the state fair!! The fact that they exhist is enough to stop traffic. Kudos Homeless....you are a brave man! Mbo, what does Bert say? (cringing girl) ~Elle (goddess in training)
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Date: 31 Jul 00 - 08:41 PM Bert says (in my best Bert voice): "Size doesn't matter, size doesn't matter..."
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Amos Date: 31 Jul 00 - 09:20 PM Ok, guys...we'll take them up on the cumulative figures. I offer the square root of 50 for starters. I leave the units up to you.
A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Homeless Date: 31 Jul 00 - 09:25 PM 2pi |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Date: 31 Jul 00 - 09:27 PM But Amos, I don't remember how to do square roots anymore! What if I run mine through the quadratic formula instead? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte Date: 31 Jul 00 - 09:41 PM Maybe I'll just dunk my breast in water and do a displacement test to see how much space they take up. BB |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Homeless Date: 31 Jul 00 - 09:44 PM Bonnie - the old displacement trick is for weight, not volume. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Date: 31 Jul 00 - 09:45 PM What about atomic weight? How many Jovian units are they? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte Date: 31 Jul 00 - 09:49 PM Homeless, as a breast owner I must say when there is weight, there is volume. BB |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Homeless Date: 31 Jul 00 - 09:57 PM I defer to your superior expirience. (and with that he once again fades silently into the background) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Joerg Date: 31 Jul 00 - 10:08 PM Mbo - regarding looking into her soul (far above, sorry for being so late): Yes, me too, but that doesn't seem to be one of the achievable things, so... *sigh* :-D Joerg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Date: 31 Jul 00 - 10:14 PM It's better to at least try instead of sitting around ogling parts! Cause that's where the good stuff REALLY is, in the place that's maybe not so easy to see. --Matt ("Tell me every little thing that makes you happy...") |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Joerg Date: 31 Jul 00 - 10:26 PM Yes, you're right, Mbo. You can always get a little (that's a VERY poor attempt to translate a charming new saying recently introduced in german). Applies to souls as well as to other things... ;-) Joerg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Jeri Date: 01 Aug 00 - 12:11 AM This is a a plot. Honestly! I'd think ogling would, in many cases, shorten one's life expectancy... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: PoohBear Date: 01 Aug 00 - 03:21 AM only if one's SO objects to said ogling |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 01 Aug 00 - 05:18 AM Bonnie, re: the tank top. The management of the NYCFTTS urgently requests you forward photos, (better yet, videos), to 'Spaw so he can prescribe them to suitable inmates strictly for therapeutic purposes, you understand. Strangely, although Herself has commented when I expose my hairy flab to the sunshine that I might lke to consider wearing a Wonderbra (TM), I never get admiring glances from passers-by of either sex, though some have been known to vomit once they've gone past. RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Naemanson Date: 01 Aug 00 - 06:23 AM [Sarcasm Alert] This is a disgusting thread. I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you. I've read it FIVE times now just to make sure there was no redeeming qualities and I am sure that there are none! All this talk of body parts, especially those of the female persuasion, leaves me exhausted and... I guess I've said enough. I'll wait (on tenterhooks) for the next installment in this story. *BG* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte Date: 01 Aug 00 - 08:38 AM Roger, I sent Catspaw an entire photo album after we settled on a financial agreement. From what I understand, Catspaw has a lucrative business going. Did he ever send you his list of medicinal websites to visit. I think he keeps a tight lid of his business adventures. If I were you, I would send him a personal message inquiring but from what I understand, his membership fees are extremely high. BB |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 01 Aug 00 - 08:50 AM Thanks, Bonnie, as I'm a mere bedpan operative at the NYCFTTS he doesn't always keep me fully informed, though he does let me have damaged goods at a reasonable price. Anyone know where you can get a puncture repair kit for a blow-up doll (Monica Mark 2)? Actually, some of the inmates here say never mind you in the tank top, pictures of the banjo would get them even more excited, but they are in our intensive care ward. RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C Date: 01 Aug 00 - 09:27 AM I told this to Mister last night when I got home. He got this dreamy look on his face, smiled REAL big, and said, "I'm gonna live a LOOOONG time." Then we saw a news report saying that a beer a day is beneficial. So we figure that between ogling and drinking, we may have found the secret to eternal life. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: SINSULL Date: 01 Aug 00 - 10:20 AM Mbo, Careful about running anything through a quadratic formula. We don't want you doing any permanent damage. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Joerg Date: 01 Aug 00 - 09:52 PM Mbo - (sorry, SINSULL, although you're also right) - It's true, be careful with things like 'quadratic formulae' but don't simply throw them away. The results you get are at least EXACT which doesn't mean that they are also ACCURATE - there's an important difference in between, and we need BOTH kinds of results, so it's a catastrophy to confuse these concepts thus thinking it's only one. You are EXACTLY right. I'm talking of souls now: It's impossible to strip her naked, but it is always possible to ogle the parts you can see if you are just looking (trying). And I also think that if there really is something like fairness every human being has some right of at least experiencing one case of another human being at least TRYING to ogle his/her soul, i.e. the visible parts. You can't get all of it, but trying to at least get a little is THAT much more than simply not trying... Love Joerg |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Date: 01 Aug 00 - 10:13 PM I agree heartily, Joerg! Well said! --Matt |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 01 Aug 00 - 10:21 PM I think what the study actually proves is that it's harmful to a man's health to lie to researchers about what he's been looking at. Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: bbelle Date: 01 Aug 00 - 10:31 PM Ok ... I told myself I wasn't going to post to this thread because it REALLY has nothing to do with music ... now you've forced me to relate my best breast/brazzer story ... I had decided I wanted to try contacts and chose some that were tinted green. They looked great with my hair and skin but I was having a hell of a time getting used to them. Farther along in the day, they were bothering me so much I started to take them out and put them in their little case, and I lost one. I literally crawled around the floor, at my office, looking for this little green piece of round plastic. I didn't find it ... plopped my glasses back on my nose ... and didn't think about it too much the rest of the day. That evening, when I arrived home, I puttered around a bit and decided to take a tubby. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, sans glasses, taking off my brazzer. I looked down and there was this horrible green slimy sore covering my left nipple. I panicked and put my glasses back on ... it was my missing green contact. moonchild |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: A Wandering Minstrel Date: 02 Aug 00 - 10:38 AM The correct unit for measurement is of course the BSH (British Standard Handful). This is great, means I'm going to get a lot older! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte Date: 02 Aug 00 - 11:32 AM That's pretty funny Moonchild. It reminds me of the time I put on a pair of tights (leotards/leggings). I looked down at my knee and saw it was all swollen. I thought to myself.....this is odd, I don't remember injuring my knee? I actually got kind of scared thinking maybe I had a serious tumour or something until I realized it was a pair of rolled up socks that got caught in there while I was pulling my tights on. BB |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C Date: 02 Aug 00 - 11:40 AM Lone Star Beer, and Boob Wills Music.............. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: bbelle Date: 02 Aug 00 - 12:15 PM Bonnie ... that's funny! I like to wear shoulder pads with some clothes and I a couple pairs of the foam pads that are supposed to "stay-put." I had donned a pair one day for work and was sitting at my desk working away, when I looked down and noticed my left breast was quite swollen. I looked at the right one and it was normal size. I panicked and was about to call my doctor, when I felt it to see if it was sore and realized it was my shoulder pad, which had slipped off my shoulder and wended it's way downward. moonchild |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Date: 02 Aug 00 - 12:44 PM You too can jump up and down and appear to spit quarters, ladies. Just put spare change in yer brazzer, and at the end of the day the quarter which has stuck itself on will pop right off most surprisingly. Always entertaining. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,person at work Date: 02 Aug 00 - 01:30 PM Am replying from work so no-one knows me........ What i thread!!! What a bunch of funny people. I am enjoying the topic and you people very much.... Hello to all the "hearme" people. Bonnie, drop by and pick us a banjo tune sometime. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Joerg Date: 02 Aug 00 - 08:53 PM To the males (close your eyes, ladies) ... Doesn't give you the topic of this thread (i.e. the choice of words) the idea of combining Michelangelo's painting of God and Adam with the 'Naked Maya' by - er - Goya(?) Joerg |