 sj |
||
|
||
12 reasons camels are better than llamas
|
|
|
Subject: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:31 PM With a camel you always get at least one hump. :-) - LH p.s. I figure with only 12 reasons, this should turn out to be a mercifully short thread. Go to it. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:34 PM But camels spit at you......... |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:34 PM P.S - yuk!!!!! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: MMario Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:34 PM technically - Llamas are camels - though not all camels are llamas |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Murray MacLeod Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:38 PM And llamas don't have any humps .......
"The one-lled lama he's a priest Ogden Nash. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:38 PM I think that llamas spit too. You have hit upon an interesting point there, Mario. By golly! Okay, here's another reason: Nine out of ten doctors prefer camels! (perverts!!!) - LH |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Bert Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:40 PM What do you call a camel with three humps? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Humphrey - Ta da!!!! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:41 PM Ur just sick little hawk, in a humerous way of course!! Speaking of llamas, my friend has one as a pet.....we had to take care of it the other summer when she went on holiday.....they're buggers to catch....quite fast when they want to be. Took 7 of us to bring it in!! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Metchosin Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:43 PM ......well I don't know about that, Little Hawk, I've heard rumours of llama humps too........and also llama wool is nicer and cosier, while camels scare horses and pack mules on steep mountain trails and caused all kinds of calamities during the Barkerville goldrush. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: MMario Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:44 PM llamas are smarter then camels, too. did you know you cannot overload a pack llama? they won't move if you do. In school they taught us that llamas are the ONLY pack animal that do this. Which of course makes llamas smarter then donkeys, dogs, goats, horses, people, elephants, ... |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:46 PM Fascinating! I envy you your llama chase, JeZeBel...that must have been quite memorable. Llamas are rather friendly looking creatures, I think, while camels look much more sarcastic. This thread may last longer than I had expected. - LH |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: MMario Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:49 PM speaking of lasting longer - the mating of llamas takes a bit longer then with many animals - for interesting anotomical reasons. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Bert Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:53 PM Elucidate MMario!!! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Metchosin Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:54 PM don't leave it at that MMario, enquiring minds want to know....... |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 04:59 PM Yes please go on.....we're all sitting comfortably........... Little Hawk, I agree, camels just look at you as if to say "yeah right, you're having a laugh mate. If you think I'm gonna kneel down for someone to sit on my back, and I assure you it is most uncomfortable for me, AND then proceed to walk miles across the desert, when I can stand ere with me mates and have a natter.......(camel spits at you)......" hmmm, maybe I'm going a little too far..... |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: MMario Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:02 PM well - how can I say this and still get it through the content filter.... Shall we say - certain portions of a male llama normally face about 180 degrees in the wrong direction for mating - and it can take upwards of an hour to reposition? |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Metchosin Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:07 PM gee no wonder llamas spit...I would too! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Murray MacLeod Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:07 PM I believe that the reason llamas take longer is that in the mountainous regions of Peru which is their normal habitat, the method of copulation involves the male jumping off a high precipice onto the female below. If he misses first time then he has to repeat the exercise. Any lady who has had an Australian lover will understand this ........... Murray |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:29 PM "I'd walk a mile for a hump." Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:40 PM only a mile...................................? |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 05:46 PM shin splints. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:08 PM wot do you mean shin splints?????? |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:16 PM That's why he won't walk more than a mile -- he gets shin splints. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: gnu Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:19 PM shin splits ? |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: katlaughing Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:20 PM Llamas are very curious animals and will nibble at hair barrettes, rings, and things. One try to remove my daughter's barrette, from her hair, when she was little and we visited a special farm for kids. We have a fellow up the road who started out with just a few, as weedeaters, over about 180 acres. Now he has a head of about 50, with new younguns' every year, so they can't have that much of a problem! I saw or read a special on a woman who has one which rides in the back of her minivan, to wherever they are hiking/packing or visiting, as it visits schools, too. They are very smart and quite docile if handled right from birth. I also have a friend who raises them. I love llamas, can you tell? kat |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: mousethief Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:25 PM Sorry; it's one word, not two. This from www.m-w.com:
Main Entry: shin·splints Alex |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Mrs.Duck Date: 09 Apr 01 - 06:34 PM I've never ridden a llama! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Apr 01 - 07:43 PM The camels are beginning to look like losers here. I should have launched a thread on why llamas are better, I suppose. Live and learn... - LH |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: paddymac Date: 09 Apr 01 - 08:23 PM Ranchers in Florida often use llamas as "guard dogs". The beasts are said to be quick to attack marauding coyotes and dog packs. They (llamas) are especially useful in calving season when mama cows are more vulnerable. Yes, even darling little Fido reverts to primitive behavious when he's running loose in a pack. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Apr 01 - 08:27 PM Damn right. There are packs of dogs running wild in the back country around here. I know a guy who hunts them, because they kill his livestock. He puts out bait and waits all night for them. He says they are very cunning, and downright dangerous if you don't have a gun with you. They normally send one of the smaller (less valuable) dogs in to check the bait and see if the coast is clear. Pretty clever. - LH |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Geoff the Duck Date: 09 Apr 01 - 08:31 PM Being a pedant ( or at least I think that's what they called me! ), I must interject that technically the Llama is just one of two domesticated varieties of the Guanaco. The Guanaco is (I believe - according to books I have perused) one of two South American species of camel, the other being the Vicuna. That said, I think it has a much better ring to be A LLama FFarmer. p.s. When a camel driver was asked how he made his camels run fast, hesaid "take two half bricks and smash them together on it's ggoolies". When people asked "Isn't it painful" the camel driver replied "Only if you get your thumbs caught between the bricks!" Quack!!!!!!! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Apr 01 - 08:37 PM Gee Geoff...I was just about to tell that! I copied it from a post I had in the "Classic Jokes Thread"....so...what the hell...here's my rendition....and still one of my favorite jokes!!! ********************************************************* A guy is planning a trip across the desert and he goes to the Hertz Rent-A-Came joint and tells them he wants to rent one. The Hertz guy asks if he wants a 7 day or a 14 day camel. Well, the trip is for 16 days and the fellow can't figure out a way to shorten it. After much cajoling, the Hertz guy says, "I'll see what I can do." He walks over and selects a large 14 day camel and sticks its head in the water trough. As the camel is drinking, he goes into the Hertz Kiosk and returns with two bricks. The camel is almost full and ready to take its last slurp when the Hertz guy walks behind it. Then, with a powerful swing, he claps the 2 bricks together, smashing the camel's nuts in between. The camel goes 'SSLLLLLUUUOOOORRRRPPPSSSSHHH', and sucks up a ton more water. The Hertz guy walks around to the front and says, "There ya' go pal. That oughta' do it." The traveller is appalled. "JESUS CHRIST MAN!!!!!! Doesn't that HURT???"...to which the Hertz guy replies, "Nah........Not if you keep your thumbs out of the way." Spaw |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Apr 01 - 08:52 PM Camels will nearly always loan you their last buck, while llamas are notoriously tight-fisted. Camels are always ready with an entertaining story around the old Oasis campfire, while llamas tend to mope and complain about the accomodations. Camels are often moved to tears by Folk music, while llamas guffaw at them and listen to the Dixie Chicks. Camels are fastidious, their infamous spitting behavior a result of having to deal with unwashed Bedouins all of the time. You are constantly having to pick up after llamas. Camels are well-educated, learning English at an early age. Llamas refuse to converse in any language other than Spanish. On long, lonely caravan trips, if you sleep with a camel, the camel will rise early to prepare breakfast for you. Llamas will sleep all day, then leave wet towels and cigarette butts all over the bathroom. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: hesperis Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:00 PM What is that from, leej, one of those "What Animal Are You?" books? |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: catspaw49 Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:04 PM No hesp.....You don't know Leej........Sounds like his stuff to me!!! Spaw (ROTFLMAO) |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:07 PM Hesp, take it from a guy who has crossed both the Sahara and the Andes more times than he cares to remember...these things are true. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Geoff the Duck Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:17 PM If you keep such close company with camels I can't see why you would call yourself "Lonesome" Quack!!! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Lonesome EJ Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:20 PM I don't. That's what everybody else calls me. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Geoff the Duck Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:29 PM Touche!;~>@-:< ps. - must learn how to do these "Smiley" things!!! Quack!!!!!!! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Bill D Date: 09 Apr 01 - 09:48 PM a new commandant in the Foreign Legion..in a desert outpost...He has been there for several weeks, and he is feeling 'lonely'. So he quietly asks his top sergant, "Tell me, don't you all get pretty...ummm..lonely out here with no wives, no girlfriends..etc.? How do you handle the ummm...'pressure'?" "Oh, no sir," says the sergant, "not as long as we've old Bessie there!" and he points to a camel tied behind the barrack...with a stepladder leaning on the fence beside her. "Sergant! I am shocked!", says the Commandant! "That's disgusting!" "But, sir...", says the sergant.. "Never mind" says the huffy officer,"I don't want to hear any more of this! I will just endure!" So...a few more weeks go by, and he is biting his nails and pacing, and as he looks out, old Bessie doesn't look nearly as bad.....and one dark night he decides he can't stand it any longer, so he goes out, gets the stepladder and places it where he thinks is convenient and climbs up.........and in a minute or so, there is a WILD commotion and the sergant comes running to see what has old Bessie so upset...and there is his commandant, flagrante delecto.... "Sir...you can't...that's dangerous!" "Well, YOU told me that when the men are lonely, old Bessie was the answer!" "Yes, sir....but the men use her to ride to TOWN!" |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Apr 01 - 10:59 PM LOL! My God, I am learning new things all the time here. LEJ - very funny! You are definitely nuts. - LH |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: rangeroger Date: 09 Apr 01 - 11:10 PM Murray MacLeod, Ogdan Nash was wrong! There is a three lled llama. It is the three l lllama fire. rr |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Bill D Date: 09 Apr 01 - 11:24 PM Ogden Nash said *approximately)..."the author's attention has been called that type of conflagration known as a 'three-alarmer'...pooh!" |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia Date: 09 Apr 01 - 11:41 PM Australia has quite a large wild camel population. In the middle of the 1800's Afghan cameleers were encouraged to come here, complete with camels, to carry stores across our vast, dry, outback regions. Naturally some escaped and started breeding - our outback was like home away from home. Anyway, in the interim, in the camel regions of the Middle East, managed breeding took place to produce better camels. Don't ask me what for - maybe to produce more milk or have bigger humps or something. Anyway, the upshot of this is that we have the only decent herds of purebred camels. When the sheiks want fair dinkum camels for some special hoedown or tent warming party they buy them from us. There are people here seriously looking to farm camels for meat. The next generation of McDonalds may begin right here with Oz camel-burgers. And a feed of ribs would certainly top you up. JG / F.M.E. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: GUEST,Crazy Eddie Date: 10 Apr 01 - 03:21 AM I cannot believe no one said this already: A pack of 20 llamas won't fit in your shirt pocket, and have you ever tried to LIGHT a llama? |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: katlaughing Date: 10 Apr 01 - 03:39 AM LOL...I do love camels, too...they are just so fun to look at and watch, with thier huge feet, long slobbery, soft lips, gorgeous eyelashes and laconic who-gives-a-shit attitude and I LOVE the way they TALK, grumble, complain, etc. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: mousethief Date: 10 Apr 01 - 03:41 AM In the middle of the 1800's Afghan cameleers were encouraged to come here, complete with camels, to carry stores across our vast, dry, outback regions. Naturally some escaped and started breeding Damn those Afghans. Always escaping and breeding. Alex |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: gnu Date: 10 Apr 01 - 08:19 AM Don't know if this applies to llamas, but I have heard that donkeys are also good at defending sheep herds except for one small "bug". Apparently, they will defend the herd against any intruder. This includes strays which try to rejoin the herd. A fellow in southern NB had to get rid of his guard donkey as it had poor eyesight and was killing sheep left and right which had wandered only a short distance from the herd. Anyone know if llamas kill stray sheep which try to rejoin the herd ? BTW, years ago, I was working in northern Nova Scotia and a local town hall meeting about the coyote/sheep ( called Eastern Brush Wolves by some ) problem was being aired on radio. Sounded like a young female biologist from the government who described a plan to use bait laced with knockout pills so that the Yotes could be humanely sterilized and released. She entertained a question and you could hear an elderly gentleman state, in a rather austere English accent, "Miss, the coyotes are eating our sheep, not f***ing them." |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Chicken Charlie Date: 10 Apr 01 - 08:56 PM I never heard anyone say he would walk a mile for a llama. Or sing, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust; If llamas don't get you, Fatimas must." Just doesn't have that lilt. C.C. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Metchosin Date: 10 Apr 01 - 09:19 PM gnu, ROTFLMAO! You've been of great help today more than once once, thanks! |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: flattop Date: 11 Apr 01 - 07:08 AM It's guys like you who give maritimers a bad name, gnu. I trust that you're feeling a bit sheepish this morning. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: gnu Date: 11 Apr 01 - 07:19 AM I don't make them up, I just report them. |
|
Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: gnu Date: 11 Apr 01 - 08:59 AM Metchosin.... if you need more relief, and I hope with all my heart that you don't, I just remembered a couple of more such incidents. They don't have anything to do with this thread, but what the heck, sue me ! I hired a guy on an airport construction job in Wabush, Labrador by the name of John Malakoff. He was a very interesting character who had worked all over Canada. One job he had was as a radio announcer in northern Alberta. He was reading the news early one morning and stated that the pilot of an RCAF jet out of Cold Lake had "ejaculated to safety" and his radio career ended. He couldn't say another word, even when he tried several times over the next couple of days. One more and I gotta go.... I was listening to the radio while travelling to Lewisporte, NF and there was a talk show on with a nurse answering health questions. One lady phoned in and said that condoms should be provided free of charge because some of the outport ( outports are isolated communities along the coastal areas ) stores were charging a lot of money and in such small communities, purchases could be the source of gossip. The nurse said that, if one was careful, condoms could be washed with warm water and mild soap and reused. ( Note here that "townies" are people living in St. John's where the radio show originated, or also people living in larger communities. ) The reply was, "That's well and fine for you townies what got hot water heaters and all, but if you think I'm gettin up three and four times a night to boil a kettle, your gone solid maid." Apologies for the poor Newfie "accent".
|
| Share Thread: |
