BS: What does FSGW stand for?

Subject: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 10:45 AM

I know it is a get together....but what does it stand for? Just curious : ) : )

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Fortunato
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 10:54 AM

The Folklore Society of Greater Washington

Click here

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Allan C.
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 10:56 AM

Click here.

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:00 AM

Thank you Alan and Fortunato!

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:03 AM

It's an acronym for the "Farts, Shit, and Gas Warehouse" of Greater Washington which stockpiles various forms of hot air and odiferous theories until needed by Congree, the President, the Supreme Court, or any of the thousands of bureaucrats operating inside or outside the beltway.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:07 AM

Catspaw, I have long suspected, but now it is completely obvious, you are completely deranged!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:09 AM

Icks, I have never claimed otherwise.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:17 AM

Well Spaw, I guess flatulence is somewhat musical! Just don't ask us to "name that tune". -Rory-

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Fortunato
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:20 AM

Rory, pay no attention to the man in the gorilla suit.

We have no patent on gaseous emmissions here in DC, or manure. Just like Old time music, it's all around.

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:25 AM

Fortunato LOL @ Gorilla suit....does he "go ape" often hahaha. -Rory-

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:37 AM

Sorry, but I only have half a gorilla suit. Dave Swan, The great El Swanno, uses the other half in his act.

Dave's most recent act, as you may be aware, was to ascend a 90 foot tower, garbed in half a gorilla suit and fishnet tights. He would leap from his perch, performing his "Swan Dive" while playing the "Garry Owen" on Bagpipes, ignite a fart, and rocket into a Fire Helmet filled with lime jello 90 foot below. After several audience members suffered heart attacks and 47 were sent to the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed, area promoters blackballed the "Great El Swanno High Dive."

Dave is currently feeling as useless as possum pellets and since his own level of creativity is on par with that of a dwarf tulip bulb, can we all band together and come up with something for the continuance of his solo career?

Cleigh O'Possum is in deep despair over Dave's joblessness and hopes that a good suggestion will be forthcoming from a fellow 'Catter. On the other hand, maybe I can get the other half of the gorilla suit back.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: GUEST,Den
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:44 AM

Spaw, don't be too quick to give up on the bottom half of the Gorilla suit. I believe it could assist you in realizing one of your life-long ambitions, to star in a ladies phillishave commercial. Den

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 11:55 AM

Spaw! ( you forgot the "don't try this at home disclaimer") -Rory_ P.S. Can I have your autograph?

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:07 PM

'Spaw only gives autographs when there is snow on the ground....and you DON'T want one....trust me...

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:10 PM

Those ones in the snow are never in my own handwriting anyway.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: mousethief
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:14 PM

I resent the appellation "Greater Washington."

D.C. may have more people, but I think the more westerly of the two Washingtons is far greater. Much larger in size for instance, as well as more diverse (and beautiful) in natural scenery. And we have far fewer politicians.

Clearly the wrong Washington got the "greater."

Je manifeste!

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Morticia
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:24 PM

Dave's given up on the idea of renovating rats then?Probably just as well...I couldn't see that much money in it and he always smelled odd after he'd been 'acquiring stock'.How about gigolo to the desperate? I could see him making a go of that *BG*.

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:24 PM

Definitely. Washington the state makes Washington the city look like an old pair of Spaw's underwear. Need I say more?

Yes I do...

Spaw will probably claim that he doesn't wear underwear, but his veracity, to say nothing of his lucidity, is always questionable.

Spaw - The WSSBA would be willing to offer Dave Swan a bursary, and a position here as an instructor, provisionally for one year, and we'll see how it works out. He sounds quite talented, so I have high hopes that this will prove to be beneficial for all concerned.

Have him come to Orillia, go to Rombos Restaurant, and ask for "Vinnie". Anytime.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:31 PM

Rory, I'm not completely crazed, it's just that I live in this small village and am constantly having to deal with some of these fellas that hang out at my house. Paw, Cletus, and Buford are locals, but they have three canadians they hang with living here too. They're Rick Fieldings half brothers, all named Reg. They keep me kinda' loony just trying to keep them the hell out of trouble. I remember when the Reg boys first showed up. It was back while Clinton was President and the elections were still a few years off...............

Following the institutionalization of Cletus at the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed, 'Paw was so overcome that he spent days wandering the waste water plant mumbling about pants pressers. During this time, Cletus was being de-toxed from his "Hamsterdance" addiction by playing tapes of Enya interspersed with a collection of witty remarks by Strom Thurmond. Knowing thru Katlaughing that the Young Center is a CIA front and training center for CIA world takeover through the use of crazed tiple bands instead of killing squads, you would expect the treatment to be effective and state of the art. Indeed it was, as Cletus was rehearsing with his own tiple band within a week. They were sent to Washington DC to embarass and discredit Libby Dole by making Bob Dole an embarassment to her. The idea was for this crazed tiple band to play the Oscar Mayer Wiener ditty within earshot of Bob and it would cure his Erectile Dysfunction but leave him screaming through Rock Creek Park, in his flapping boxers, shouting,"I got WOOD! It's a WOODY!!" This plan did not come to fruition as at the last moment, fate reared it's head.

Cletus found a place for the band to rehearse for a last time before making a tiple assault on Bob Dole. It was a gardenlike setting in the midst of hundreds of rosebushes which, even dormant, Cletus had always loved. They reminded him of his 5 former wives, all of whom had died in exactly the same way. It seems there lungs had been filled with Sevin dust while using the same defective sprayer. Oddly enough, all of them had recently taken out life insurance with Cletus as the sole beneficiary. After the death of the first, the local sheriff immediately suspected Cletus, but when it came to light that the insurance was for only $500.00, he decided that even ol' Clete wasn't that stupid. Of course, he was new in town then and didn't really KNOW Cletus. With each wife's death, he became more suspicious, but in every case the cheapo life insurance turned him away from Clete. Yeah, it's true, the sheriff ain't exactly J.Edgar Hoover...'course he doesn't cross dress either. But to continue our story, the band began rehearsing the Oscar Mayer tune. They didn't know they were in the Rose Garden of the White House. Even worse, with a mildness to the weather, several windows had been left open a crack to let in the spring breeze.

Inside the Oval office, Bill Clinton, now without both Hilary and Monica was meeting with a few top advisors and close friends and discussing world affairs. Maybe it was the springtime air or maybe the nerve jangling sound of a crazed tiple band...maybe it was both. Suddenly Wild Bill began to hold himself and revert to his Arkansas dialect. Pacing about he shouted, "Shee-yet! Suhbitch I jes' gotta' far offn' a biggun'." An aide trying to restore the conversation said something about Yugoslavia to which Bill responded, "Not only Yes, but Hail Yes!!! I gotta' shooter 'ats 'bout to EX-plode. Yugoslavia, Schmugoslavia, I got some blastin' tuh do!! Fuckin'-A right Bubba!" Hence once again a bungled CIA operation led to changes in history that may not have occured otherwise. The band was immediately sent back to the Young Center in Montana. For most of the way they were secreted away in the trunk of a car belonging to a Joe somebody who left the DC area last weekend heading west.

Meanwhile, Paw's pacing had been halted by the appearance of three strangers, somewhat goofy looking guys who had stopped here to inquire about Paw's whereabouts. I sent them on down to the wastewater plant and they immediately struck some kind of chord within Paw. This was unusual since they were what Paw always refers to as "Furriners." They introduced themselves as Rick Fielding's brothers...Reg, Reg, and Reg. Turns out that they'd been hoping to strike a deal with Paw and Cletus to combine for a North and South operation to fleece the unsuspecting of their goods. Paw and Cletus through deer hunting "accidents" and Reg, Reg and Reg through ice fishing "slips." Paw must have thought this was what their previously failed business needed and off they went to retrieve Cletus from the Young Center. It was my fear then that these dimbulbs would become CIA recruits for a crazed tiple band and I put out an alert for all points west to watch out for them. Now here I shoulda' known better. I hesitate to call them a band of half-wits since between them they have less than half a wit. Anyway, this half-wit band left town without a word to anyone. You'd think the sun or the roadsigns would have clued them in, but they were actually heading east. I guess they were just walking along and planning how to spend their future riches. They were passing through Wheaton, Maryland, just outside of Washington, DC, when they asked for directions at the home of a guy named Bill carrying an autoharp. This guy seemed to be appalled at the sight of these four and not only told them that Montana was 2000 miles the other way, but what usually happened to assholes like them 300 years ago...and to get the hell off his property NOW!!!

So west they headed and of course they were tryin to lay blame on each other. Reg said it was Paw at fault, but Reg said it wasn't and then Reg said just to leave Paw out of it, but Paw says to Reg that he didn't know either and Reg says that Reg is an idiot and Reg says that Reg is an idiot and Paw says that Reg is right but Reg says Paw is full of it and Reg says that Reg............Well I guess this kinda' thing went on to about Frederick. At that point they all suggested that the others didn't have the sense to pour piss out of a boot with the instructions written on the heel. Whereupon they all sat down on a railroad track and took their boots off only to discover that NONE of them had instructions. This lightened things up and they began to talk about the best way to pour piss out of a boot. So they decided to try out their ideas and they all stood up and began whizzing into their boots. Their aim was helped by the illumination from the headlight of a Norfolk-Southern freight bearing down upon them. It was then that a local TV news van happened upon this scene of four guys pissing in their boots with a fast freight coming at them and began filming the spectacle. Also a police car arrived and the officer screamed for them to move, which thankfully they did...but their boots were carried off by the diesel. They were placed under arrest for indecent exposure and criminal stupidity. I got a call from the police and figured since they had no money and no boots I could go pick them up before they did anymore harm to themselves. But the TV station paid their bail and bought them each a new pair of boots and sent them on their way. The TV people figured they were in for several major awards with the footage they'd shot so money for bail and boots was a pittance.

A lot has happened to them since and I also hear the NYCFTTS is gearing up more crazed tiple bands for an attack on bin Laden. Paw, Cletus, Buford, and the Reg Boys are in and out of the place a lot so I can only hope that things don't reach a point where they get recruited.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:34 PM

Um, I always thought it stood for FolkSingers' GetAway.

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:35 PM

Ahem...FolkSingers' GetAway.

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:44 PM

AW fer chrissake, how much of this shit do we have to put up with!

I'm surprised GUEST hasn't shown up to chide us about posting to a BS thread...this one being a spectacular example of utter and absolute BS if I've ever seen one.

Spaw...correction..."fate reared ITS head"...not "it's head". "It's" means "it is". Okay? Please try not to make this mistake again. Pedants are watching.

You made some other egregious errors too...(dontcha love that word?)...but I'm too kind to point them out at this time.

Reg, in fact, is an idiot. Reg, however, could better be characterized as eccentric, but not truly idiotic. As for REG, well, he's just a complete goof!

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:50 PM

Spaw....who is cletus? Is he also related to the reg brothers? Do they need a visa to play in the states? Does rick know where they are? Are you wearing one of those jackets with the really long arms that does up at the back? -Rory-

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 12:57 PM

Yeah, I was going through my "let's apply new rules to the apostrophe" period, but I couldn't sell anyone on it. I notice I also had a there for a their too and some other dumb mistakes too, but the quick and simple answer for pedants is, "If you had made 14,000 posts here, you'd have some errors too, so bite me." Perhaps I would be better off to go back to my favorite line for trolls and flamers and include the pedantic types in it too........"Have a Coke and a smile, and shut the fuck up."

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 01:05 PM

Precisely. Couldn't have said it better myself. Do you actually have 14,000 postings here? I just checked mine, and I've got 3,280...no, wait, with this one it'll be 3,281...

This explains why I've gotten bugger-all done in the past year, and my life is in a shambles.

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 01:08 PM

shhhh...or you'll 'Shambles' in your "life"

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 01:19 PM

What?????

- LH

p.s. That's 3,282.

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Fortunato
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 01:23 PM

Rory, as you can see not all of us here at the home are housebroken. Please don't be taken aback. That is, never turn your back us! Or be affronted. It is best to look them straight in the eye, however,(the good eye). And if we appear to have too much time on our hands, at least we don't appear in person with anything in our hands. Welcome to the home. Have you had your virtual shots? Fortunato...

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: M.Ted
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 01:26 PM

The really sad thing is that this is about the best Discussion Forum on the Internet--

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 01:52 PM

ok-ok...the joke was arcane and convoluted...meant ONLY for members of the 'inner clique' *grin*

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Allan C.
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 02:00 PM

This all proves, once again, that there is no simple answer to a simple question - at least, not here!

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 02:10 PM

Ain't that the truth? And Hawkster, whatever you do, don't get "shambled".......although for me it has worked itself out over the past year and it's OK!

BTW.....I lied. This is post #13751 for me so I haven't made the 14000 yet.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: MMario
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 02:22 PM

well - we'll give you credit for the time(s) you were out sick, 'spaw; that should bring you up to 14000

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Fortunato
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 03:15 PM

Now if he was out every time he was 'sick', ... well would we hear from him at all?

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Oct 01 - 10:20 PM

Tell ya' Fort, I don't think mental illness counts......especially around here.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Fortunato
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 08:26 AM

"You don't have to be crazy to post here, but it helps?"

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Grab
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 09:01 AM

Fortunato, that's plainly untrue - everyone knows it's compulsory. The ones that don't just haven't been diagnosed yet...

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Ferrara
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 12:17 PM

mousethief and Little Hawk, in case you were serious ... ? ... the "Greater" in "Greater Washington" refers to the "Greater Washington Area," which is a longstanding term to refer to Washington, DC, and its many large suburban areas such as Silver Spring, Hyattsville, Bethesda and Potomac, etc, in Maryland; Anacostia, Arlington, Alexandria, Falls Church, Fairfax, Vienna, etc in Virginia.

If we only had members from D.C., we sure wouldn't be one of the biggest (and best!!!) folk clubs in the country.... :-)

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: mousethief
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 12:42 PM

We know, Ferrara. We realize "greater" means "and surrounding area." We was just havin' some fun. But that doesn't mean that what we said warn't true. It's a damned sight truer than anything Spaw posts, and it's easier to stand downwind of.

Myself, I live for the chance, someday, to blow up Cletus' bum. I have no reason right now to go to Ohio (Calvinist soteriology notwithstanding) but someday, somehow, I'm gonna visit that sumbitch at his home.

And if any of y'all ever make it out to Ecotopia, please don't hesitate to stop and knock on my door. And if you're really obnoxious, I might sing at you.

With libertine just us feral,
Alex

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: MMario
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 12:43 PM

just like in "Greater Boston", "Greater Rochester". etc.

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 12:58 PM

Now look MT, I think if you are interested in blowing up Cletus' bum as you mention, then you're even sicker than I am. Cletus only changes his underwear with the change of seasons and if you have a late Spring there's a real foul odor surrounding him that has been known to sterilize buzzards. This is certainly not something you'd want to do if you're even halfways normal......not saying you are, but just in case.

I would be happy to have you give Cleigh O'Possum a toot though and I know he'd like it as well.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: mousethief
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 01:04 PM

Ooops. I picked the wrong name. You have to admit, they do start with the same first three letters, and let's face it, who has time to read more than the first 3 letters of any word? If I could just sit around all day in my underwear like some Ohioans I might mention, I might take the time to read each word a little more deeply. To drink, as it were, from the alphabetarian delight that the written word affords. But usually I'm in a hurry for some reason or other, and I do what I can.

You are correct. It is Cleigh O'Possum's bum which I wish to inject with wind.

You know, Spaw, your "let's apply new rules to the apostrophe" effort has been far too successful. Now people all over the country are misusing apostrophes for fun and pleasure. I rather wish you never had; who could have known you would be such a trend-setter?

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 02:04 PM

The apostrophe thing dates back 35 years to a Dr, Jerome Hughes, an English professor, who had a thing against the "its" business. The story is too long to tell and since it's truth rather than one of my usual tales, I'll skip it and move on to the subject of my underwear which has seems to be of some interest.

As I have said repeatedly, I don't wear 'em. I gave up on u-trou a long time ago for reasons that are now unclear to me. Since then the habit has become ingrained and I can't stand the thought of wearing them. The only time I do is when I go to the doctor. This, of course, makes no sense at all.

I have also given up on socks. Since I am no longer required to wear suits and the like, I can't see the point. If it's really cold or I'm wearing boots, yes I do wear them, but most times I'm wearing boat shoes or tennie-pumps. Karen bitches about the sneakers because they tend to go south if you don't keep your feet powdered and washed, so I try to appease her better sensibilities........my own too. Fortunately, having two active sons makes anything my shoes might smell like a walk in the park. What is it with kid-feet? They shower daily and put on clean socks and even NEW tennies stink in a day!

Anywho.....just wanted to air things out........so to speak.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 03:17 PM

I do hope Cleigh is making the trip with you next week, 'spaw....I would love to say I had tootled his little patoot...(and I CAN play them things!)

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: mousethief
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 04:05 PM

I'd love to be ABLE to say "I tootled his little patoot."

Alex

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 04:17 PM

How many patoots could a little patoot tootler tootle if a little patoot tooter tootled patoots?

- LH

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 07:12 PM

patoot tootling needs a patootie tutor...Preferably NOT a Teutonic patoot tootling tutor.

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 07:21 PM

What is a patoot?

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: GUEST,CLETUS
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 07:38 PM

Hey thair Rory. I doan no fer sertin whut a patoot iz but itz wunna them thangs thet Catspaw callz me evry now an agin wen thairz cumpny er out in publik. He sez Ima horses patoot an sinz he genroly callz me a jackass an a lot uv other thangs I figger it mus be an ass ur a butt ur sumpin uv thet sort.

Me an Paw an the Reg boyz ar awful glad ta wellcum yall ta tha Mudcat. Nun uv ussenz ar members cuz Catspaw woant allow uz ta git no cookie cuz he sez thettid be sorta like givin the Pope a condom so I jest log on az a gest. Weer still rite proud ta hav ya amongst uz.

CLETUS

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 07:38 PM

patoot search

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 08:14 PM

Hahahahaha oh gosh Thank you Cletus and Bill. Now get your patooties into Paltalk and sing for me. Huugggsss -Rory-

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 08:20 PM

if I could, I would! I used to sing regularly on HearMe, the precursor to PalTalk...but PalTalk has some arcane think in its installation process that has my PC flummoxed!...I can't get it to work!

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 08:22 PM

Are you using a firewall Bill?

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: GUEST,CLETUS
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 08:39 PM

Now Rory, Ol Bill iz reel smartlike wen it comes ta them computer thangz an heez rite gud atta gittin all kines uv stuff ta work. Heez bin roun the block a hole bunch on thet Paltalk gizmo an he aint had no luck. Catspaw iz inna same shape but he aint az gud with the puters az Bill, but hiz doan work on Paltalk neethur.

CLETUS

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Rory B
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 09:32 PM

cletus....that is just awful...I suppose they have emailed paltalk to ask for help darn darn darn darn darn double darn

Subject: RE: BS: What does FSGW stand for?
From: Bill D
Date: 12 Oct 01 - 10:27 PM

PalTalk has an automated email response system which simply send you to online FAQs which finally end up saying that if 'X' don't work, "you may not be able to use PalTalk from this location & PC"...*grin*..(means THEY ain't got it figgered out, either), and I'm not sure ANYONE can get a personal response...and I have shut off all firewalls etc..etc...there is something in the registry I have not found that keeps me from starting over, I think.