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What did you sing as a kid?

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GUEST,ScooterHenry 15 Oct 01 - 11:30 AM
KingBrilliant 15 Oct 01 - 12:11 PM
pattyClink 15 Oct 01 - 12:11 PM
Gervase 15 Oct 01 - 12:16 PM
Trevor 15 Oct 01 - 12:20 PM
marymarymary 15 Oct 01 - 12:24 PM
marymarymary 15 Oct 01 - 12:31 PM
KingBrilliant 15 Oct 01 - 12:32 PM
AllisonA(Animaterra) 15 Oct 01 - 12:32 PM
Melani 15 Oct 01 - 12:38 PM
marymarymary 15 Oct 01 - 12:38 PM
weepiper 15 Oct 01 - 01:30 PM
Jerry Rasmussen 15 Oct 01 - 01:31 PM
Mrrzy 15 Oct 01 - 01:39 PM
marymarymary 15 Oct 01 - 01:51 PM
GUEST,Russ 15 Oct 01 - 01:54 PM
JenEllen 15 Oct 01 - 02:01 PM
GUEST 15 Oct 01 - 03:13 PM
John MacKenzie 15 Oct 01 - 03:35 PM
GUEST 15 Oct 01 - 04:06 PM
CapriUni 15 Oct 01 - 05:58 PM
Ebbie 15 Oct 01 - 08:38 PM
marymarymary 15 Oct 01 - 08:39 PM
GUEST,Adrienne 15 Oct 01 - 11:28 PM
Haruo 15 Oct 01 - 11:40 PM
musicmick 16 Oct 01 - 01:04 AM
Bert 16 Oct 01 - 02:16 AM
Amergin 16 Oct 01 - 03:00 AM
Steve Parkes 16 Oct 01 - 03:31 AM
GUEST,Boab 16 Oct 01 - 03:49 AM
sian, west wales 16 Oct 01 - 04:54 AM
sian, west wales 16 Oct 01 - 04:55 AM
Ed. 16 Oct 01 - 05:20 AM
Scabby Douglas 16 Oct 01 - 06:57 AM
Scabby Douglas 16 Oct 01 - 07:11 AM
GUEST,Adrienne 16 Oct 01 - 08:02 AM
marymarymary 16 Oct 01 - 10:28 AM
Walking Eagle 16 Oct 01 - 10:48 AM
Mrrzy 16 Oct 01 - 11:16 AM
guinnesschik 16 Oct 01 - 11:38 AM
John MacKenzie 16 Oct 01 - 11:42 AM
M.Ted 16 Oct 01 - 11:45 AM
marymarymary 16 Oct 01 - 12:06 PM
Deda 16 Oct 01 - 03:28 PM
GUEST,Souter 16 Oct 01 - 04:54 PM
GUEST,Melani 16 Oct 01 - 05:16 PM
GUEST,anonymous 16 Oct 01 - 05:57 PM
M.Ted 16 Oct 01 - 06:16 PM
AliUK 16 Oct 01 - 07:08 PM
Lin in Kansas 16 Oct 01 - 07:23 PM
Joe Offer 16 Oct 01 - 09:49 PM
Steve Parkes 17 Oct 01 - 03:48 AM
Dunc 17 Oct 01 - 04:12 AM
musicmick 17 Oct 01 - 04:21 AM
Crazy Eddie 17 Oct 01 - 06:33 AM
GUEST,Marc B 17 Oct 01 - 07:02 AM
GUEST,Alison in Florida 17 Oct 01 - 11:37 PM
Whitedog 18 Oct 01 - 12:25 AM
Bat Goddess 18 Oct 01 - 03:20 PM
red flag 18 Oct 01 - 05:59 PM
GUEST,Steven G. 18 Oct 01 - 06:12 PM
Bat Goddess 18 Oct 01 - 07:49 PM
GUEST,Boab 19 Oct 01 - 02:53 AM
GUEST,Adrienne 19 Oct 01 - 07:25 AM
Trevor 19 Oct 01 - 08:41 AM
The Walrus at work 19 Oct 01 - 01:27 PM
vindelis 20 Oct 01 - 01:02 PM
Haruo 20 Oct 01 - 03:20 PM
GUEST,Sage 20 Oct 01 - 04:04 PM
AliUK 20 Oct 01 - 08:44 PM
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Subject: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,ScooterHenry
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 11:30 AM

I was looking through the songs in the "Mudcat for kids" area, and I recognized barely anything there. Those songs look like things adults WISH kids would sing ("Robin Cam' to the Wren's Door", "We Are Called the Girl Scouts") rather than anything any natural kids would sing together unless a music teacher or scout leader was making them do it. Real kids like songs about vomit and underpants, not wrens and ponies. So, 'fess up the songs you ACTUALLY sang as a kid, WITH other kids, and maybe we can get some songs there that kids would actually come and look at... then, you can kind of sneak in your wrens and fairies in at the same time, like a vitamin pill hidden in taffy.

See Naughty Kids' Greatest Hits


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:11 PM

Build a bonfire, build a bonfire
Put the teachers on the top
Put Miss Manning (substitute yr own headteacher) in the middle
And burn the whole lot

Kris


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: pattyClink
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:11 PM

Thy point is well taken, however judge ye not too swiftly, soul. Verily the compendium includeth the immortal "Great green gobs" #88.('tis not the childe number but the searchery number)


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Gervase
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:16 PM

My mother used to sing the Burl Ives standards when I was a child, and they were the first songs I learned.
I loved "Big Rock Candy Mountain" and "When I First Came To This Land" and, to my shame, I also enjoyed "Kumbaya" (though these days it always sounds like a Geordie shepherd losing his rag with a sheepdog to me!).
She also used to sing one to me in dog-Latin, with a refrain along the lines of "Peri-merry dixie domine..." but I can't for the life of me remember the rest of it.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Trevor
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:20 PM

School dinners, school dinners Concrete chips, concrete chips, Soggy semolina, soggy semolina Toilet quick, I feel sick Too late I done it on me mate

(To the tune of Frere Jacques)


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: marymarymary
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:24 PM

This one was a favorite, because we felt like we were really cool, saying words like "ass" (giggle, giggle) and "behind".


Miss Lucy had a steamboat,
The steamboat had a bell.
Miss Lucy went to heaven and
The steamboat went to --

HELL-o, operator.
Give me number 9.
ANd if you disconnect me,
I'll powder your --

BEHIND the 'fridgerator
There was a piece of glass.
Miss Lucy sat upon it
And cut her little --

ASk me no more questions,
I'll tell you no more lies.
The boys are in the bathroom
Zipping up their --

FLIES are in the meadow,
Bees are in the grass.
Miss Lucy sat upon one and
It stung her little ASS!


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: marymarymary
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:31 PM



Comet -- it makes your mouth turn green!
Comet -- it tastes like gasoline!
Comet -- it makes you vomit!
So get your comet, and vomit, today!


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:32 PM

I chased a bug around a tree
I'll have his blood
He knows I will
-
then sing it faster & faster til it comes out rude...

Kris


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:32 PM

...Miss Lucy sat upon one
And stung her little Ask
Me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the boys' room,
Pulling down their Flies
Are in the breadbox
(Last line sung slowly and solemnly...)


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Melani
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:38 PM


I hate Bosco! It's awful bad for me!

Mommy puts it in my milk to try to poison me!

I fooled Mommy! I put some in her tea,

And now there's no more Mommy to try to poison me!

Americans of appropriate age will remember the original Bosco jingle.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: marymarymary
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 12:38 PM


Tah-rah-rah-boom-si-ay
We have no school today
Our teacher passed away
We shot her yesterday
We threw her in the bay
She scared the sharks away
Tah-rah-rah-boom-si-ay
We have no school today


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: weepiper
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 01:30 PM

On top of old Smokey
All covered in sand,
I shot my poor teacher
With a red rubber band.

I shot her with glory,
I shot her with pride...
and I cannae mind the last 2 lines...


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 01:31 PM

A round we repeated endlessly

Politically incorrect... my appologies...

Two Irish men. two irish men, sitting in a ditch One called the other A dirty son of a Peter Murphy, Peter Murphy Sitting in the grass along came a bumble bee and stung him in the Ask me no questions, I'll tell you know lies If you ever get hit with a bucket of .... Be sure to close your Ice cold lemonade, five cents a glass If you don't like it, you can stick it up your Ask me no questions.... keep repeating until you drop from exhaustion...

My nephews made up a great song for Davy Crocket:

Borned on a mountain top in Tennessee Tore my pants on a Christmas tree Patched 'em up with some bubble gum Bear came along and he asked for some Davy, Davy Crockett, King of the Wild Frontier

Slept on a table top in Joe's Cafe Greasiest joint in the U.S.A. Ordered a griddly and that ain't all Next thing I knew I was in City Hall

I added this verse

Went to see the Mayor just to set him straight I found him swinging on the Pearly Gate Asked his pardon, and he let me go So I wandered down to the Alamo

When I asked my nephews what a griddly was, they said they didn't know... it just sounded good..


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 01:39 PM

(I'm sorry to say, I used to sing all those songs that aren't on the believable list!)

But this just in, from my twins, does that count?

The coach is dead
We barbecue his head
Don't worry about the body
We flush it down the potty
And round and round it goes...


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: marymarymary
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 01:51 PM


Jack and Jill went up the hill
to fetch a pail of water
stupid Jill forgot her pill
and now they have a daughter!
My mom caught me swinging on the closeline singing this one day, and made me hold a bar of Fels Naphtha in my mouth for ten minutes -- and I didn't even know what "forgot her pill" meant...

Also...
See, see my playmate
Come out and play with me
And bring your dollies three
Climb up my cherry tree
Slide down my rainbow
Into my cellar door
And we'll be jolly friends
Forevermore
One, two, three, four....
See, see my enemy
Come out and fight with me
My dolly has the flu
I'll make you cry, boo-hoo
Slide down my razor blade
Into my dungeon door
And we'll be enemies
Forevermore

and, don't forget the immortal Miss Mary Mack, and the Lady with the Alligator Purse -- do those count as songs?


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Russ
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 01:54 PM

99 bottles of beer on the wall, found a peanut


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: JenEllen
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 02:01 PM

oh Mary3, I remember that one....but my punishment was a bar of 'safety yellow' Dial soap. I still can't stand to even look at the stuff anymore.

We also sang:
'Shaving Creme'
'On Top of Spaghetti'
'Washin' Clothes'

~J


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 03:13 PM

Miss Lucy had a baby
She named it Tiny Tim
She threw it in the bathtub
To see if it would swim
It drank up all the water
It ate up all the soap
It tried to eat the bathtub
But it wouldn't go down its throat
Miss Lucy called the doctor
The doctor called the nurse
The nurse called the lady
With the alligator purse
A penny for the doctor
A nickel for the nurse
A dime for the lady
With the alligator purse


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 03:35 PM

The Salvation Army free from sin, went to heaven in a corned beef tin. The corned beef tin began to smell, and the Salvation Army went to....Helensburgh Castle stands upon a rock, if you want to pass it you've got to show your.........Cocktail ginger ale half a pint of water, stick it up your... ask no questions tell no lies shut your mouth and you'll catch no flies.

In reality I was standing on a stage in the Cragburn Theatre in Gourock, singing "Put another nickel in" and " A man without a woman" in a childrens talent contest, which if nothing else certainly gives my age away.

Jock


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 04:06 PM


Little baby ate a chocolate cake
Went to the bathroom and pooped out a snake
The snake climbed out and bit him on the head
Little baby was dead, dead, dead
They buried him down in a deep dark hole
Winter came and they dug him up for coal
They burned him in the furnace, hot, hot, hot
Buried the ashes and they began to rot
Rain came down, and they began to smell
Little baby went straight to hell
Devils poked him with a big fat stick
A devil came and chopped off his dick
Little baby lay down and cried
And then he finally died, died, died


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: CapriUni
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 05:58 PM

Chorus:
Mable Ka-dabel,
fee-fi-fo fable
Okin-kabokin was her name!

She had two hairs on her head,
One was black and the other was red, oh:

(chorus)

She had two eyes in her face
One wasn't there, so the other took its place, oh:

(chorus)

She had two pimples on her nose
One wore socks, and the other panty hose, oh:

(Chorus)

She had two teeth in her mouth
One pointed north and the other pointed south, oh:

(chorus)

(continue with other body parts as long as you can, coming up with outrageous mismatched pairs)

(But I also liked to sing the "nice" songs too -- I really did!)


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 08:38 PM

Oh, what a tame childhood had I! We sang cowboy type songs, mainly, learned from my dad and mom. Like Give My Love to Nellie, Jack and Letter Edged in Black and Little Joe, the Wrangler and When the Work's All Done this Fall, Got No Use for the Women, Cowboy Jack, and lots more as well as songs of the Prohibition era like Little Blossom.

From my earliest years I remember my dad walking around outdoors on the farm singing, always singing.

Ebbie


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: marymarymary
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 08:39 PM

...these days it always sounds like a Geordie shepherd losing his rag with a sheepdog to me!...

I've probably read that sentence five or six times, and I still have no clue...
What, exactly, does "losing one's rag with a sheepdog" mean???


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Adrienne
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 11:28 PM

Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho, I bit my teacher's toe, That dirty rat She bit me back Hi-Ho, Hi-Ho...


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Haruo
Date: 15 Oct 01 - 11:40 PM

On top of Old Smoky and/or spaghetti, mainly the verses about shooting Castro and Khrushchev with polychromatic rubber bands.

Rolling home (I've got sixpence)

PP&M/Pete Seeger civil rights era standards

Tom Lehrer standards

The Burning of the School (it's somewhere on my website)

Bill Grogan's goat

My name is Macnamara, I'm the leader of the band

The Deitsch Company

There was a goat named William

Seresponda - O Nicodemo

The Fox went out on a chilly night

Hymns

Pretty much the same sort of stuff I still sing, though until I was 16 none of it was in Esperanto.

Liland


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: musicmick
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 01:04 AM

My aunt, who had been a "Bohemian" in Greenwich Village was my hero. She sang to me whenever I stayed over at my bubbe and zayde's house. She sang "Riding on the Dummy, on the Dummy Dummy Line", "Constantinople, C-O-N-S-T, A-N-T, I-N-O-P-L-E" and my favorite, to the tune of "Harrigan", L-O-double L-I, P-O-P spells lollipop. Its a wonderful piece of candy, The guy who invented it was a dandy. L-O-double L-I, P-O-P you see, Its a lick on a stick, guarenteed to make you sick, Lollipop for me.

My father sang while he drove the car on Sundays. He favored novelty songs from the 1930s like "Did You Ever Hear Pete Go Tweet, Tweet, Tweet on his Piccalo?" and, sometimes he segued into "Big City Blues".


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Bert
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 02:16 AM

A kid huh! well it depends how far back you wanna go.

How about "His name was Nobby Hall, Nobby Hall, Nobby Hall..."


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Amergin
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 03:00 AM

Besides the ones I would make up on the spot?

well...on top of spaghetti...oh my darling clementine..only with clementine i would sing it slow and mournfully....and a few others that escape my memory...


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 03:31 AM

This smacks of Max Miller, but it had a brief vogue roiund my way in about 1958:

Jack and Jill went up the hill
For a bit of hanky-panky.
Jill came down with half-a-crown--
Jack must have been a Yankee!


(Explanations available on request for puzzled Americans!)

There was one interminable ryhme from my early days in infant school (age 5-7), which I could never remember in its entirity. I have a feeling it was in a thread a couple of years back. I don't think I can recall more than the odd line now ... it starts off with someone's baby being ill, and goes through a long list of substitutes: "... couldn't come, So they sent for ...". Just grasped this from below the surface of consciousess: "... wasn't in, So they sent for Rin-Tin-Tin". (R-T-T was just giving way to Lassie in those days.) If you know the whole thing, you could make an old man very happy (or just very old!).

Steve


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 03:49 AM

Ah, kingBrilliant---somethin' like "Polish it behind the door"

One of our standards--- "Roond aboot the maypole danced oor Nell Oot cam'her faither an' kicked up Helensburgh castle staunds upon a rock Every body passin' by Has got tae show their Cockiebendie had a wife she was very cantie She went in ablow the bed an' tumml't ow'r the chantie."

Long before that--I was 4 years old or thereabouts---auld Grannie taught me "the Lost Child".


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 04:54 AM

Musicmic ... and the second verse to Harrigan,

C-A-S-T-O-R-O-I-L spells Castor Oil, Castor Oil
That's the only decently kind o' medicine, medicine
Guy who made it must o' been an Edison, Edison
C-A-S-T-O-R-O-I-L you'll see
It's a lick on a spoon guaranteed to kill (cure) you soon
Castor Oil for me!

sian


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: sian, west wales
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 04:55 AM

Sorry, "decent" that should be!

sian


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Ed.
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 05:20 AM

Fight the good fight with all your might
Sit on a box of dynamite
Light the fuse and you will see
The quickest way to eternity

Ed


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 06:57 AM

marymarymary asked : ...these days it always sounds like a Geordie shepherd losing his rag with a sheepdog to me!...

I've probably read that sentence five or six times, and I still have no clue... What, exactly, does "losing one's rag with a sheepdog" mean???
losing one's rag : losing your temper, getting angry What he meant was that "Kumbaya" sounds like "Coom bah yah" - which if you really mangled it, might sound like a Geordie shepherd apparently using the words "Come by!" to call a sheepdog .

If you are wondering why anyone who wasn't a shepherd migh have that info.. one of the top-rated shows on BBC TV a few years back was "One Man and his Dog" which featured sheep-herding trials.
... it was simpler, more innocent world back then ...

Cheers

Steven


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 07:11 AM

We sang: Three craws sat upon a wa'
Sat upon a wa'
Sat upon a wa-a-a'
Three craws sat upon a wa'
On a cauld an' frosty mornin'

and..
Ye canny shove yer granny aff a bus
Oh, Ye canny shove yer granny aff a bus
Ye canny shove yer granny, for she's your mammy's Mammy
Ye canny shove yer granny aff a bus



and Nobody likes me everbody hates me, I think I'll go and eat worms
Big fat juicy ones, wee skinny scooshy ones, see how they wriggle and squirm
You bite aff their heads and sook oot the juice, then throw the skins away
Nobody knows how I survive on worms three times a day


The wee skinny scooshy ones slide down easy, but the big fat juicy ones stick
Ha- ha- ha, it's all very funny, but I think I'm going to be sick, - Bleeuuck!(vomiting noise)

Cheers

Steven


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Adrienne
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 08:02 AM

Another "Harrigan" verse my mother(!) taught me as a kid--

D-A-V-E-N-P, O-R-T spells davenport, davenport.

It's the only decent place to wait on, wait on

Even better place to have a date on, date on.

D-A-V-E-N-P, O-R-T you see

It's a hug and a squeeze and an "Oh Johnny! Please!"

Davenport for me.

(For those of you who don't know, a davenport is a sofa or couch.)


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: marymarymary
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 10:28 AM


In the land of Oz
Where the ladies smoke cigars
Every puff they take
Is enough to kill a snake
When the snake is dead
They put roses on its head
When the roses fade
They put rubies in their place
When the rubies crack
Then they put the roses back

I think there's more, but I can't remember this morning... need more coffee....


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 10:48 AM

The infamous My Eyes have seen the Burning of the Schools, Camptown Races, I've been Working on the Railroad, Greasy, grimy, Gopher guts, Peanut, There was an old lady who swallowed a fly, and many others.

My dad used to sing me to sleep with Goodnight Irene ( chorus only, I believe ).


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Mrrzy
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 11:16 AM

We had... miss Lucy called the doctor, miss lucy called the nurse, miss lucy called the lady with the alligator purse / In walked the dr, in walked the nurse, in walked the lady with the alligator purse / measles said the dr, mumps said the nurse, chickenpox said the lady with the alligator purse / out walked the dr, out walked the nurse, out walked the lady with the alligator purse!


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: guinnesschik
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 11:38 AM

Actually, I sang all the "yukky" songs kids sing; I've even taught 'em to my girls. But, my favorite to sing at the top of my lungs, especially if my parents had company, was "Blood On The Saddle." I listened to Marty Robbin's Gunfighter Ballads, and another LP of Cowboy songs 'til my mom had to hide 'em from me.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 11:42 AM

<> <> <> <>

<< My Maw,s a Millionaire>> <> <> <> <>

There's more

Jock


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: M.Ted
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 11:45 AM

To the tune of, well, you know the tune--

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord,
He was rambling round the corner in a Ninteen Fifty Ford
With one hand on the throttle, and the other on a bottle
Of Mogen-David Wine!

Glory, Glory, What's it to ya?
Teacher hit me with a ruler
So I cracked her on the bean
With a rotten tangerine
And that teacher don't teach no more!

Glory, Glory, What's it to ya?
Teacher hit me with a ruler
So I met her at the door
With a loaded forty-four
And that teacher don't teach no more!


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: marymarymary
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 12:06 PM

On NPR a few months ago, they had an interview with a man who had, after extensively surveying the public about what they most liked and disliked about music, "scientifically" composed what were allegedly the world's most and least appealing songs. Oddly, I remember nothing about the "good" song, but (perversely) I *loved* the "bad" song which was some 20 minutes long ("people hate long songs") and included a children's chorus ("95% of people don't like them") and a screechy-voiced opera singer ("most people hate opera") doing a rap song ("76% of people dislike rap music intensely") about Labor Day ("no one sings Labor Day carols") to a bagpipe accompaniment.

Any road, after reading the above messages, it occurred to me that, based on the songs people remember singing as children, someone could write a sure-fire all-time-hit kid's song, if they would only remember to include the following statistically favored elements:
  • Gory death, preferably of a teacher
  • A vague, snicker-y reference to sex
  • Bodily fluids
  • A lady with an alligator purse
  • Worms, snakes, or eels
  • A strong rhyme scheme
  • A baby
  • Disgusting, tainted, or poisoned food
So, if anyone is bored today and wants to write the world's most appealing kids' song today, here's their chance...

:-)


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Deda
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 03:28 PM

Has anyone mentioned this classic?

Great big gobs of greasy, grimey gopher guts....

Damn, it's fallen off the memory table, crowded out. Sorry.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Souter
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 04:54 PM

Some of these songs I rememger differently.like:
Miss Mary had a steamboat, The steamboat had a bell
The steamboat weant to heaven and Miss Mary went to
Hello operator, Give me number nine
And if you disconnect me, I'll kick you're big
Behind the yellow curtain, There is a piece of glass
And if you sit upon it, it will go up you're
As' me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies
The boys are in the bedroom, Pulling down their
Flies are in the meadow, Snakes are in the grass

Here's where it got into the really dirty words, but only my sister can remember the whole verses. Also, that one about Baby, baby, stick you're head in gravy, wash it off with apple sauce and show it to the navy. But I don't know if that counts, it's more of an insult than a song.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Melani
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 05:16 PM


On top of Old Smoky

Where nobody goes,

I saw Annie Oakley

Without any clothes.

Along came Gene Autry

And took off his vest,

And when he saw Annie,

He took off the rest.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,anonymous
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 05:57 PM

Hi ho cherrios


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: M.Ted
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 06:16 PM

Souter, those are called variants--people get Phd's in Folklore by collecting all the different ones that they can find--I remember something like : Kindergarten baby,
Born in the gravy
Wipe your ass
With applesauce
And sell it to the Navy

(For UK readers, "ass" was the Midwestern equivalent of "arse")


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: AliUK
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 07:08 PM


Red and yellow custard
snot and bogey pie
all mixed together
with a dead dog's eye
take a lump of bread
and slap it on thick
then gobble it down
with a cup of cold sick

at least that's what I remember singing at school.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 07:23 PM

A lot of the ones mentioned were chants we used to jump rope by...with lots of giggling, of course.

Played and sang "Highway 101" (flip side was "The Creep") so many times as a kid that my dad broke the 78 record in the driveway. Grew up on 30s and 40s show tunes, learned from my next door neighbor's cache in her piano bench. And of course lots of country/cowboy songs, since that was literally the only kind of music played by any radio station we could hear (except KOMA in Oklahoma City, which played the likes of Bobby Vinton, Ricky Nelson, and Fabian, for none of whom I could figure out the appeal. Still can't).

Lin


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 16 Oct 01 - 09:49 PM

We had a classic thread that started in 1997 and went on for years -

Naughty Kids' Greatest Hits


-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 17 Oct 01 - 03:48 AM

AliUk, the version we sang stated "Scab and matter custard ...". Revolting enough?!

Steve


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Dunc
Date: 17 Oct 01 - 04:12 AM

Sung to the tune of "Pop Goes The Weasel"...
Half a pound for tuppeny Rice
Half a pound for Keilour
That's the way your money goes...
Ten bob to feel her

I had no idea about the refrences to Mandy Rice Davies and Christine Keilour but I liked the idea of being able to "feel her" whoever she was.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: musicmick
Date: 17 Oct 01 - 04:21 AM

My thanks to sian for the castor oil verse, and to adrienne for the davenport version which I had never heard before.

I was at Shriners Hospital for twelve years on a grant from the Phila. Folk Festival. My job was to sing with the kids every week. We made up lots of songs. Here's one.

There is just one odor, there's just one whiff/ It's a great big skunk who is scratch and sniff/ It's like livivg in a sewer/ On a pile of manure/ It's a smell world after all.

It's like my pet cat's kitty litter box/ It's an old gym bag full of dirty socks/ It's the sweat that you get/ When your armpits are wet/ It's a smell world after all.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Crazy Eddie
Date: 17 Oct 01 - 06:33 AM

Scabby Doug's song
Three craws sat upon a wa' Sat upon a wa' Sat upon a wa-a-a' Three craws sat upon a wa' On a cauld an' frosty mornin'. continues

The first crow,
fell & broke his jaw,
fell & broke his jaw,
fell & broke his jaw-aw-aw-aw.
The first crow,
fell & broke his jaw,
On a cold & frosty Morning.

The next crow,
Was cryin' for his maw

Repeat as per previous verse

The third crow, Wasn't there at all


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Marc B
Date: 17 Oct 01 - 07:02 AM

Marijuana Marijuana L.S.D. L.S.D. Richard Nixon makes it All the Hippies take it Why can't we Why can't we


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Alison in Florida
Date: 17 Oct 01 - 11:37 PM

I liked Janis Joplins roller skate song " I've got a brand new pair of roller skates, you've got a brand new key" and "Oh Lord won't you buy me a Mercedes benz".

My mother is scottish and there was One two three o leary I saw Wallace Beary sitting on his bum-bo -leeree kissing Shirley Temple

From the schoolyard ... great green gobs of greasy grimy gopher guts.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Whitedog
Date: 18 Oct 01 - 12:25 AM

Bunches of us elementary kids (talking 1950's) sang this song: On top of old Smokey Where Nobody goes, There stood Marilyn Monroe, Without any clothes.

Along came Roy Rogers, Clippity Clop. He pulled down his zipper, And out with a flop.

I don't remember the verses after that, and most of us kids really had no idea of WHAT the song was even (snicker, giggle) implying. Oh, for those days of innocence again! Judy


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Oct 01 - 03:20 PM

I was cruising down the highway going ninety miles an hour
When the chain on my bicycle broke.
I was thrown in the ditch while listening to Mitch [this WAS the '50s!]
While my teeth played "Dixie" on the spoke.

Early in the morning, late one night
Two dead boys began to fight.
Back to back they faced each other
Drew their swords and shot each other.
Two deaf policemen heard the noise
Came and shot the two dead boys.
If you don't believe this tale
Ask the blind man who saw it all.

Now, what was the one about drinking Lysol? A lot of the stuff had brand references in them.

Linn -- who grew up in Milwaukee in the '50s


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: red flag
Date: 18 Oct 01 - 05:59 PM

When I was a young boy my Mum and Dad taught me 'Nobody's child'. This was the first song that I sang.

I wondering what kind of Parents I have, I think they were trying to tell me something here.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Steven G.
Date: 18 Oct 01 - 06:12 PM

As kid, I learned the classic country tunes, like Gentle on My mind, and Country Roads are examples.

I was also taught some Eastern Canada or "Maritimes" tunes like Out on a Mira, Sonny's Dream, Four Marys.

Wide variety of songs by listening to the radio and watching TV.

Steven


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Oct 01 - 07:49 PM

Wonder where the missing lines went? I KNOW I posted them!

Should be:
I was cruising down the highway going ninety miles an hour
When the chain on my bicycle broke.
I was thrown in the ditch while listening to Mitch [this WAS the 1950s!]
While my teeth played "Dixie" on the spoke.

It WAS there -- even the addendum about it being the '50s!

Bat Goddess


You typed <br. instead of <br>. Everything after it disappeared until the next >. --JoeClone


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 02:53 AM

My old man used to drive Ma nuts trying to teach us kids something that begins-- "Auld Missus Hunt had a huddy punt ---not a huddy punt, but a hunt punt----" and something about a "cuddy" followed that.I'm cutting it short, cuz I don't want wives/girlfriends/hubbies accusing me of getting their nearest and dearest to recite rude tongue-twisters-----


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Adrienne
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 07:25 AM

Two songs I sang as a kid, both to the tune of Turkey in the Straw:

Oh I went around the corner and I went around the block

And I went right in to a doughnut shop

I picked up a doughnut and I wiped off the grease

And handed the lady there a five cent piece.

Well she looked at the nickel and she looked at me

And she said "Kind sir, you can plainly see

There's a hole in the nickel and it goes right through."

Said I,"There's a hole in the doughnut, too!"

Do your ears hang low,

Do they wobble to and fro?

Can you tie em in a knot,

Can you tie em in a bow?

Can you throw em over your shoulder

Like a Continental soldier?

Do your ears...hang...low?

(This song was even funnier when we'd substitute "boobs" or "balls" for "ears".)


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Trevor
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 08:41 AM

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin flew away, Batmobile has lost a wheel on the M1 motorway....

My kids used to like a song they heard in a film (it might have been 'Uncle Buck' I think).. 'When you're standing in a queue and you want to have a pooh, it's diaorrhea, diaorrhea...etc.


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: The Walrus at work
Date: 19 Oct 01 - 01:27 PM

To the theme from the "Anglia TV2 programmme "Out of Town" (circa 1960s)

"Say what you will
School dinners make you ill,
Davy Crockett died of Shepherd's Pie
All school din-dins
Come from pig-bins
Out of town".

Walrus


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: vindelis
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 01:02 PM

Oh Sabrina, Sabrina
The boys all like Sabrina
Hands up there! Skirts up there!
Sabrina, Sabrina
She's got hair like Ginger Rogers,
She's got a figure like Marilyn MonroeSabrina, Sabrina!
My question is just who was Sabrina? this would have been sung in the playground at Junior School aged about 8 or 9. (Mid 60's).


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: Haruo
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 03:20 PM

Ragtime Cowboy Joe
The Desperado
The Alphabet Song
I Don't Want No More of Boy Scout Camp
I Was Born About a Thousand Years Ago (medleyed with Great Historical Bum, and note for us it was definitely a thousand, not ten thousand, the Edenic referent notwithstanding)


Liland


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: GUEST,Sage
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 04:04 PM

The very first song that I remember "performing" at about 3 yrs. old was "Daisy,Daisy, give me your answer do. I'm half crazy over the love of you.......


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Subject: RE: BS: What did you sing as a kid?
From: AliUK
Date: 20 Oct 01 - 08:44 PM

a variant of Daisy Daisy that we used to sing in Southfield Junior School playground was...
Daisy, Daisy
give me a tit to chew
I m half crazy
me bollocks are turning blue
It wont be a stylish marriage
cos I can t afford the carriage
but you ll look sweet
on a toilet seat
with me on top of you

of course we had no idea what we were on about at the time.


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