Songs about lingerie

Subject: LINGERIE
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 12:37 PM

Please. This IS serious.

I am seeking phrases, quips, songs, puns, in regard to Lingerie. You know - corsets, bustiers, teddies, garter-belts. This is for a writing assignment which is due in ten days.

Thank you all.

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: DMcG
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 12:43 PM

They didn't give writing assignments like that in my day!

Try here, here and here for a few songs with links to such fripperies

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: catspaw49
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 01:39 PM

My favorite....from Dorothy Parker......

"Brevity is the soul of lingerie."

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Sorcha
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 01:42 PM

SuperSearch results for knickers

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST,Skipjack
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 01:47 PM

Brassieres, in the DT, is a great lyric

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Sorcha
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 01:47 PM

And, results for Clothing Not all have to do with underwear, but some will.

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Don Firth
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 01:50 PM

I'm afraid I can't be much help with the original question, but the song about the chastity belt (DMcG's third link) reminds me. . . .

The Lord of the Castle was leaving for the crusades, and in the manner of many of that "beknighted" age, he locked his beautiful young wife in a chastity belt. It did occur to him, however, that he might fall to the blow of a Saracen's sword while on his holy mission, and it would certainly not be fair to his young wife to leave her thus constrained for the rest of her life should he never return. He racked his brain, trying to decide who he could trust to leave the key with. At length, he decided to leave it with an Old Family Retainer, an eighty-year-old servant, old, weak, and doddering, a trusted menial who had been with the family for as long as he could remember.

The Lord of the Castle and his troops set out upon the road. They had not gone for more that a few miles when they saw a cloud of dust behind them. They stopped to see who or what it was. Soon the Old Family Retainer hove into view, running as fast as his spindly legs could carry him.

"Milord! Milord!" shouted the Old Family Retainer, "you left the wrong key!!"

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 02:06 PM

"My Gal's a corker, she's a New Yorker
I buy her everything to keep her in style
She wears my bvd's, I wear her pink chemise
Say boys, that's where my money goes

or for the last two verses:

"She's got a pair of hips, just like two battleships
Say boys, that's where my money goes

Jerry

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 02:10 PM

There was a young man who, gingerly,
Tore a hole in his sister's best lingerie
As he ripped off her vest,
He thought 'twould be best;
To add incest to insult to injury

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 02:11 PM

What do you call a Spaniard who rips ladies underwear ?

A Basque seperatist!

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 02:11 PM

Or,

"There ain't no flies on Annie, on Annie, on Annie
There ain't no flies on Annie, I'll tell you the reason why
When she sits down all you can she, are her red flannel bvds
There ain't no flies on Annie, and that' the reason why

second verse:

"There ain't no flies on Annie, on Annie, on Annie There ain't no flies on Annie, I'll tell you the reason why
Why she's so hot I do declare, she wears asbestos underwear
There ain't no flies on Annie, and that's the reason why

Jerry again

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Ebbie
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 03:21 PM

Nigel, evidently limerick composers are not too into underwear: rhyming 'lingerie' with 'gingerly'?

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 03:22 PM

"And for her suspenders a motorboats fenders and fifty two fathoms of rope" (Jenny Wren Bride in the DT)

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 06:09 PM

Lady P wrote a wonderful one called 'all around my fat' which mentions Janet Raeger underwear..... it's a hoot too! Not sure if it's in the DT or the songbook though.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 06:11 PM

Joke that only wortks (if at all!) in a Black Country accent:

Enoch says to Eli, "I've gorra new job, I'm a corsetier."

Says Eli "Don't be daft, that's a woman's job, measurin' ladies up for undergarments."

"No, I work down at the local cinema. I look at peoples tickets, and if they'm in the wrong seat, I say 'Yo corsetier'!"

LFF

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 08:42 PM

Thank you - I am picking up some material. But could never use the joke above.

I like your translation service. This is that joke, translated into German and Italian and back to English.

Joke, that it is only this, wortks (to the occurrence!) in a black accent of the earth:

Enoch says to Heliums, "has new job of gorra, I is more corsetier."

Heliums do not say "are daft, that one are the job of one woman, measurin ' getlteman here over for the underwear."

"Not, job down on the local cinematografo. I consider the programs of people and if they' the m in the wrong center, I say ' Yo more corsetier '!"

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Suffet
Date: 12 Aug 02 - 09:37 PM

To the tune of "Old Time Religion":

We'll pray to Aphrodite,
Though she's kind of flighty,
She wears that see-through nightie,
And that's good enough for me.



--- Steve

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST,Fantum
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 07:52 AM

Try the Sid Kipper threads for a song about rhubarb Possible title "The stick of rhubarb" Contains a line "Her suspenders shone like silver"

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Micca
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 09:34 AM

The link to "all around my fat" in the song book is CLICK HERE

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST,Fantum
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 10:55 AM

No its not "The stick of rhubarb". Its still the Kippers but not that title

Regards

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: EBarnacle1
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 11:44 AM

Suffet, I believe Rick Nestler is guilty of that verse of OTR.

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Raggytash
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 02:42 PM

To the tune of Winter Wonderland

Lacy things the wife is missing, didnt ask permission, I'm wearing her clothes, her silk pantyhose, walking round in womens underwear.

In the store there's a teddy. little straps like spaghetti, that hold me so tight, like handcuffs at night, walking round in womens underwear,

In the office theres a guy named Melvin, he pretends that I am Murphy Brown, he'll say are you ready, I'll say no man, just wait until our wives are out of town,

Later on if you wanna, we can dress like Madonna, put on some eye shades, join the parade, walking round in wmoens underwear,

Repeat fisrt verse.

Murphy Brown was the alleged prostitute in the Hugh Grant "scandal"

---

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST,Ravenpoet
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 04:19 PM

What about "over shoulder boulder holder" for a bra?

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST,Ravenpoet
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 04:21 PM

What about "over shoulder boulder holder" for a bra?

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 04:27 PM

Glass bra - smash and grab...

Rawhide bra - rounds 'em up and heads 'em out....

Ah, memories of my childhood.

Here's an observation: Why do shops that sell clothes up to size 22 (42+ bust) only sell bras up to 38C?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Schantieman
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 04:28 PM

A verse of 'Bile them Cabbage Down':

It was on the bridge at midnight
My heart was all a-twitter
I undid her suspender belt
And her leg fell in the river

Steve

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST,A statistician
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 04:36 PM

"Bootstrapping" is a very tricky statistical technique of analysing distributions by re-sampling a body of data. "Brastrappinging" is a technique of re-sampling bi-modal distributions. For non-statisticians: a bi-modal distributions id one with 2 "humpps"

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Yorkshire Tony
Date: 13 Aug 02 - 07:53 PM

Garters feature in a number of folk songs:

As I was going to Aylesbury; Bonny Green Garters and its contemporty version:

Here's to the ladies, we love then right well, though some they are regular tarters, off with their knickers and off with their bras and off with their bonny green garters.

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Charley Noble
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 01:59 PM

Sigh- it's a pity I missed this one so there's little point in reposting Jon Campbell's "Fredricks of Galilee" with all its wonderful nautical but naughty apparel:

When it comes to underwire, underwater, underwear,
Just send a check to Freddy's, and get your gal a pair!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Peg
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 03:34 PM

Murphy Brown is the name of a Tv show starring Candace Bergen...

Divine Brown was the prostitute caught with Hugh Grant...

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 04:00 PM

Following Liz(ts);
The 'Liberty Bra' (circa WW II):
One Yank and it's off!

Books: 'The Glass Brassiere' by I Seymour Tit

Nigel

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: The Walrus
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 05:15 PM

TUNE: Brighton Camp:

Oh Little Flo
I love you so, Especially in your nightie.
When the moonlight flits
Across your t*ts
Gawd Jesus Christ Almighty!

(First heard from Peter Cook, but may well be older)

I seem to remember a 1970s parody by (I think) Judge Dred (or Dredd, or Dread etc.)
"Y Viva Suspenders", to the tune "Y Viva Espana"

Any use?

Walrus

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 06:16 PM

If love is blind, how do you explain the popularity of lingerie?"

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Amos
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 06:33 PM

Dave:

It's the delicate sound and smell of the stuff. The rustle and perfume. Surely you haven't forgotten already?

A

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST,pdc
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 07:27 PM

Another tiny bit from Dorothy Parker: she once did a lingerie ad featuring a Freudian slip.

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: open mike
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 07:37 PM

so i wonder what grade this guest
got on his "writing assignment" and
did he submit the final copy here?

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: artbrooks
Date: 18 Apr 03 - 07:47 PM

Around her leg she wore a bright red garter,
She wore it in the Springtime and in the month of May.
And if you ask her why the hell she wore it,
She'll say its for her lover in the Field Artillery.

The hell with those wimps in the cavalry and their yellow ribbons!

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Allan C.
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 08:09 AM

Two women I know went shopping for lingerie. One was especially interested in a certain negligee. After eyeing it for a while she said, "That would make a nice pile," The other woman looked at her quizzically, but before she could phrase her question the first woman continued, "on the floor by the bed."

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Bill D
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 12:51 PM

The best lingerie lasts a long time, as it isn't worn for very long at a time...(well, unless it is ripped in wild abandon)

of course, tastes vary WIDELY in what constitutes 'best'...I personally do not care much for elaborate stuff with lots of black lace borders and purple satin panels...I think "guilding the lily" is an apt phrase.

YMMV

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Allan C.
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 02:53 PM

I totally agree with your final note, Bill. I never saw the point of negligees, myself.

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Amos
Date: 19 Apr 03 - 03:03 PM

Some folks think the journey is more important than the final destination, fellas. That's the point! Can you say, "sennn-suuu-ouuuuus"???? SURE you can -- now, you try it!! "SENNNN-suuuu-ousssss" -- see?? I knew ya could do it!!"


A

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 20 Apr 03 - 05:29 AM

I prefer upper decker flopper stopper, to over the shoulder boulder holder.

Sweetest little fellow, wears his sister's clothes.
Don't know what to call him, but we think he's one of those.

Ist Man :- When I get home tonight I'm going to rip the wife's knickers off!
2nd Man :- Sounds good to me.
1st Man :- Good!! it'll be a bloody relief, the elastic is hurting my legs.

I'll get me coat....Giok

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 05:22 AM

I was enjoying this thread. Refresh

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: gnu
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 06:42 AM

You can wear anything you want if it includes a sincere smile. Then it's all lingerie.

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Charley Noble
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 08:52 AM

And from Joel Mabus comes the ultimate recommendation:

I tell ya', Duct Tape, it's the answer,
        In a little silver roll;
It will mend the widest crack;
        It will patch the deepest hole;
I put Duct Tape on my jeans,
        When they start to fall apart;
And since my baby's left me,
        I've got Duct Tape on my heart.

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 09:31 AM

I say, I say, I say´.
My pal Jim got a job in a ladies underwear factory as a diesel fitter, he lifts ladies garment off the line and shouts "Desel fit ér"

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Pooby
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 10:10 AM

I knew a guy who worked in a ladies underwear factory -- he pulled down 200 a week.

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 10:57 AM

What do newlyweds keep under the pillows in case of fire?









Pajamas. (Or pyjamas if they're English).

Subject: RE: BS: LINGERIE
From: Cluin
Date: 21 Apr 03 - 11:49 PM

I was going to type out the lyrics to Biddy McGraw (who "strangled two sailors with the straps of her bra") but I found them already in this thread. Although one of my groups sings slightly different lyrics, they are pretty close.