what's the worst song you ever heard?3

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: The Sandman
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 09:52 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C0zAr1t6nTE

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: olddude
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 09:49 AM

Pretty much any song that I have written myself

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Chorusgirl
Date: 10 Aug 08 - 08:23 AM

Sex Bomb - Sex Bomb. Tom Jones. YUK. Less of a sex bomb I've yet to see.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Joe G
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 06:06 PM

'Young banker' is always one that makes me shudder but for sheer awfulness the first track on 'And Did Those Feet' 'Best of 1997 - 2007' - which I had the misfortune to review, takes some beating - anyone who reads Tykes News in Yorkshire can look forward to squirming to the first verse in said review

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Peace
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 06:00 PM

"Horse With No Name"

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Dave MacKenzie
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 05:59 PM

Don't anyone tell Mr Happy! I shudder to think what that'll sound like to the tune of "Ellen Vannin".

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Ambrt
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 07:44 AM

Oh I like tha. I will never hear that song again (if I ever do) without hearing that!

Amber

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: eddie1
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 06:06 AM

Someone chose a Ken Dodd song as their worst. There was a time when I would have agreed until someone explained that the spelling was wrong. It's actually;

A Penis, a Penis
The greatest gift that I possess
I thank the lord that I've been blessed
With more than my share of a Penis.

Now it all makes sense.

Eddie

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Amber
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 05:01 AM

Well, I just HATE 'Stand by Your Man'!

It is gruesome! Both words and tune.

Amber

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Genie
Date: 09 Aug 08 - 03:17 AM

I'm prob'ly gonna get skewered for this, but IMO "Give Yourself To Love" is by far the worst song Kate Wolf ever wrote -- at least in terms of the chorus. Kate was an incredible lyricist, displaying vivid and distinctive, memorable imagery in nearly every song she wrote. But the chorus of GYTL is, IMO, on a par with "Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream" and The Beatles' "So This Is Christmas" when it comes to Hallmark-card level trite lyrics.

You must give yourself to love
If love is what you're after.
Open up your heart to the tears and laughter
And give yourself to love,
Give yourself to love.

It's far, far from the worst song I've ever heard. (I think Paul Anka's "Having My Baby" and Cool & The Gang's "Joanna" have that 'honor' sewn up.) But it stands out in my mind, muchas "Last Night I Had the Strangest Dream" does, precisely because it's done way too often -- instead of many much better songs.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Joe_F
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 09:23 PM

In _1984_ music is not used for torture, altho there is mention of a Hate Song, an anthem (Oceania, 'Tis for Thee), and sentimental love songs written by machinery for the proles.

In the real world, however, I have read that subsequent developments in popular music, which Orwell was spared, were used by the FBI & BATF to deprive the inhabitants of that commune in Waco of their sleep & sanity, and subsequently by the U.S. Army for the same purpose in prisons in Iraq (I had not heard about Noriega). I am gratified to know that three agencies of my government agree with me about what recent popular music is good for, but I do wonder about one delicate legal point. Does such a use count as a public performance? And if so, were the copyright owners duly paid?

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 02:10 PM

Yes, Severn and Neil D. I agree.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 12:52 PM

Anything in rap and most of hip-hop. I don't know how many share this view, but I don't see either category as music, per se. They have words and rhythm, but no melodic line and no discernable musical form. I don't personally care for either category at all, but I can respect those who are fans. I simply think they ought to be taken out of the field of music and placed into a category called "word play" or "performance art."

I also don't find much to like about disco music. As one musician friend labelled it, "Rhythm and blues for people who have neither."

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 03 Jul 08 - 10:06 AM

When the U.S. Army had Manuel Noriega of Panama surrounded in his Presidential compound they brought in concert P.A. systems and blasted Heavy Metal music at him in an attempt to make him surrender.
I think Country music would have been more effective. He might have become suicidal.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Severn
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 12:33 PM

leenia,

In the movie "1-2-3" with James Cagney, Horst Bucholtz as an East German prisoner was tortured by repeated playings of "Itsy-Bitsy Teeny-Weeny Yellw Polka-Dot Bikini" in an attempt to make him talk. Is that what you had in mind?

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 12:10 PM

Songs don't exist in a vacuum. They can be bad because they're all wrong for the time and place.

A couple years ago I was standing on a sidewalk of hot, white concrete, watching our luggage while my husband got the car. I was forced to listen to some guy belt out

tum tum tum tum ti tum aftTER the lovin'

over and over. Every time he got to the 'TER' he blasted it out, grining the 'r' nearly to death. Like there was a danger he would be mistaken for an upper-class twit, and he wanted to make that wouldn't happen.

Standing on the hot, white concrete, I was in no mood for the picture he brought to my mind - a big naked guy sitting on the edge of a bed with his floppy #^&^^& half upright and a glistening drop of *%^$#@ on the tip of it.

One final thing - belting has two parts. Part one is belting out a syllable. Part two is stopping. A lot of people, like this guy, have not figured out stopping, which is the harder part. He belted out 'TER' and then his control failed each time, producing a sick swoop. This effect was played again and again, as repetitiously as a cuckoo clock going 'cuckoo.' (No doubt a sound engineer had simply recorded the same bit over and over.)

Was there anything in the book '1984' about Big Brother making people listen to music they didn't want to hear?

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Neil D
Date: 02 Jul 08 - 11:10 AM

"Please Come To Boston"

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 01:34 PM

Hadn't thought of Mrs. Miller in most of a lifetime. She was one of the living proofs of one great truth:

    Songs don't kill people; people kill songs.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 12:55 PM

Do any of the elder statespersons aboard remember that old chart-buster, Mrs. Miller? Virtually every song she ever "performed?" would qualify, hands-down!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Blue
Date: 01 Jul 08 - 08:49 AM

When and if i ever hear a decent version, i'll let you know. Maybe it was me youth that was the fault.
P.S. I love McArthur Park, Jimmy Webb is a pretty amazing if slightly strange guy

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 07:49 PM

Three words: "Donk-a-shayne, daahling, donk-a-shayne...."

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Midchuck
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:54 PM

My wife favors "Towser Jenkins" (on the one album Jim Ringer did for the Patons, 'way back) as the worst. But I rather enjoy it.

Great minds don't always think alike.

Peter.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 12:22 PM

Guesty, Blue, that is "Close the Coalhouse door" and it is a really great song, adn teh recording by teh Elliott Family is truly excellent.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Mr Happy
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 08:43 AM

'.........someone left the cake out in the rain!'


http://www.geocities.com/bjaes.geo/lyrics/mcarthur.htm

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Severn
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 01:29 AM

"Transfusion" was a better song than Nervous Norvous' other hit "Ape Call" (My oldest sister had 45's of both), for what that's worth. However I've heard a lot worse. Think of it as anticipating both Dave Edmunds' "Crawling From The Wreckage" and Paul Simon's "50 Ways To Lose Your Lover" by quite a few years.

"I Like Ike" was probably the worst of a sorry lot since the days of Herbert Hoover's campaign song "If he's Good Enough For Lindy, He's Good Enough For Me" which said nothing much about its candidate or his politics other than the fact he had Charles Lindbergh's endorsement.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: fumblefingers
Date: 30 Jun 08 - 12:37 AM

Old Hippie

Yes, "Transfusion" is my pick for the worst. But I was mainly thinking of the 50s. "Teen Angel", "Tell Laura I Love Her" and similar syrupy 60s songs make me grab for the volume knob as well.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Songster Bob
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 09:16 PM

Off-subject somewhat, but someone up there a ways mentioned Radio Luxembourg, and it brought back a memory of a tape I heard many's the year ago, of a program called, "Land of a thousand [sound of breaking glass]." It was from some Scandinavian country, Sweden, I think, and it was the Goon show on steroids (which they didn't have then, but what the hey?).

Can anyone point me to a source of info on this phenomenon? Thanks.

Now, back to the subject. I have heard many bad songs, over the years, most of them not popular enough to be recorded, thank God (the tendency of people to sing their own songs at open stages is not a new one).

That said, "I Like Ike" was pretty bad, even for its genre. In fact, most political songs -- campaign songs -- are terrible. Luckily, politicians eschew them these days.

Bob Clayton

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: oldhippie
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 08:51 PM

fumblefingers, you really think "Transfusion" is worse than say "Angel Baby" or "First Name Initial" , "Alley Oop", or many other similar songs?

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 07:26 PM

For Harold Shipman;
Hey ho, hey ho, it's off to work I go,
With me stethoscope and me bag of dope,
Hey ho, hey ho, hey ho.........

And that's just the chorus: can't possibly post the rest

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 29 Jun 08 - 07:20 PM

200

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: fumblefingers
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 09:11 PM

Del Reeves had a bit hit with "Girl on the Billboard." While not a particularly good song, there are thousands worse.

"Transfusion," by Nervous Norvus, is about the worst rock and roll song of the 50s--maybe of all time.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: frogprince
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 09:04 PM

Lyrics don't come much better than this:

Cha Cha Slide

Clap your hands everybody
Slide to the left
take it back now yal
One hop this time
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
Cha Cha now yal
To the left
Take it back now yal
Two hops this time
Two on the left
Two on the right
Cha Cha now yal
Slide to the right
Slide to the left
Take it back now yal
One hop this time
Right foot lets stomp
Left foot lets stomp
Charlie Brown
Cha Cha now yal
Five hops this time
Touch your knees
how low can you go
can go down low
All the way to floor
Can you bring it the top
like you never never stop
One hop this time
Right foot lets stomp
Left lets stomp
Reverse Reverse
Reverse Reverse
Cha Cha now y'all

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Dave MacKenzie
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 07:48 PM

I've been trying to erase them all from memory, however "Delila" has surfaced. (Apart from the versions by Alex Harvey and the Leningrad Cowboys - everybody else just does a jolly old sing-a-long; when they do it you know this guy's really lost it!)

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Def Shepard
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 12:38 PM

Anything, and I do mean ANYTHING recorded by Celine Dion * runs off to the bathroom*

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: dwditty
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 12:07 PM

Peace & Ranger Steve, I quite agree with Horse with No Name and just about everyother song they did - AIn;t it foggy outside, indeed. But my all time favorite song to hate is Neil Dialnd's I Am, I Said in which he becomes even more depressed when his chair won't even talk to him. Mr. Diamond, your Barcalounger is on line 1.

dw

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Geoff Wallis
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 11:40 AM

Bobby McFerrin's 'Don't Worry, Be Happy' - when we drove across the US it was on the radio (no matter which station) virtually all the time. The only exception was a station called something like 'The Voice of God in Las Vegas' which was all we could get in a desert region.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Seaking
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 06:01 AM

If you play along with it in a dropped D tuning it's still better than 'Lovely day'...

Chris

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,extremely norman
Date: 28 Jun 08 - 04:34 AM

The suggestions so far are tunes that would be liked by *somebody*

This is appalling.
Nobody will like it.
It's so bad, it's funny.

Jeg kan en sang der kan drive dig til vanvid

It's even a little kind of....folkie..... sort of...... maybe...

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: olddude
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:47 PM

For me, Harper Valley PTA ranks right up there

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Blue
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:55 AM

Some woman singing in a pub in Worcestershire about Bairns dying the coal shed,
'there's Bairns there
'there's bairns there
Oh my god she went on and on and on
Put me off folk for 20 years

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:11 AM

'Germany, Germany,Germany...'

http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=2DnUxLISFcA

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Mr Happy
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 10:08 AM

Bill Withers - Lovely day

Always sounds like he's singing 'Germany, Germany,Germany...'

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Seaking
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 06:14 AM

Easy !   Bill Withers - Lovely day.

Radio 2 play the thing repeatedly, it drives me to distraction.

Its a lovely dayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

luvly day, luvly day....



(repeat endlessly)

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Golightly
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 05:23 AM

Wonderful Tonight! I agree. The poor woman gets to look wonderful while she carts her p**s artist bloke off home and puts him to bed. Yuk.

And what about Are You Lonesome Tonight's "do you gaze at your doorstep and picture me there?"

Do I gaze at my doorstep??

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Critic In The Attic
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 03:08 AM

Wonderful Tonight
Leaving On A Jet Plane
Ride On
Streets Of London
Oh and I mustn't forget that pile of crap where a finger is inserted in one ear and the singer croaks "I flew too close to the candle"

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: glueman
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 03:03 AM

A difficult one. Country songs don't count because sentimentality is their whole reason to exist. Novelty records are aimed at children so a mature appreciation is missing the point. Lounge/swing/easy is nothing if not ironic so that's Sinatra, Manilow, Monroe and Mathis out the reckoning.

It may well be a folk record but I'll have to ponder.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Mick Woods
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 03:02 AM

Some awful crap by the beatles that found it's way onto my IPod that went something like "I'd rather see you dead, little girl, than see you with another man" vomit!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Kiki
Date: 27 Jun 08 - 12:56 AM

Honey. Of course Honey. The first time I heard it I was seriously convinced that it would end with her leaving him because he was always mocking her and laughing at her. Might have made a better song. But probably nothing would have made it better.

But even worse was a song called, "What Do You Do When Your Girl Says No?" by some Bobby something or other several years ago. A local radio station used to play it occasionally because it was so bad. The lyrics went something like:

What do you do when your girl says no
Whoa-ho whoa-ho
I'd like to know.

You go to your room and start to cry
Then you ask yourself why oh why
Why did she do it?
Why did she do it?
Why oh why?

And so on.   The delivery was every bit as stirring as the lyrics themselves.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Joe_F
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 08:12 PM

I am happy to say that I have escaped almost all of the songs mentioned in this thread. However, in response to an early posting, I should confess that I actually like some of the Singing Nun (Soeur Sourire) songs, especially Tous les Chemins, Resurrection, and Entre les Etoiles. I am also pro-Christmas-carol.

Among songs that turn up in folkie circles, I think I would give the prize to "Harriet Tubman". One long incoherent mixed metaphor containing no information about its nominal subject. Another such song, whose insipidity makes me cringe, is "Bridges".

Of course, if the stuff that comes out of the loudspeakers these days counts as songs, then they all belong in one big lump at the bottom.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Dave MacKenzie
Date: 26 Jun 08 - 08:09 PM

Glad someone mentioned "Caledonia", my wife and I used to sing together until she asked me to accompany her singing it - now we only do tunes. And I once didn't walk out when it was being sung, but only because I was waiting to sing the singer's least favourite song!

Apart from that, "Mack the Knife", apart from the Armstrong and Fitzgerald versions - I really love "Mackie Messer".

Anything sung to Crimond - the 1947 Royal Wedding's got a lot to answer for - Psalm 23 is great to Wiltshire or Martyrdom as recommended in the 1929 Scottish Psalter.