what's the worst song you ever heard?3

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: LilyFestre
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 04:55 PM

LOL Janice....was that heard at the Womyn's Music Festival in Michigan? I heard some truly horrible songs there....along with some absolutely FANTASTIC songs/music!!!

Michelle

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Hobbitwoman
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 04:46 PM

Butterfly Kisses.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 04:35 PM

Yes, Bilbo Baggins is really astounding. It's the only thing Leonard Nimoy succeeded in recording that rivals the best of Shatner for sheer shock value.

Got to agree on "Last Night I Had The Strangest Dream" too, and for the same reasons. It's embarrassing.

MacArthur Park, on the other hand, is very neat both lyrically and musically. Anyone who can't figure out that the melting cake in the rain is a metaphor for the heartbreak of a failed romance should go back and take songwriting 101 all over again. :-)

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Chief Chaos
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 02:44 PM

Bilbo Baggins as sung by Leonard Nimoy

I love ya Spock but this ain't your greatest work.
From contrived lyrics, terrible backing, very odd instrumentation, and Nimoys singing voice this has got to be the worst song ever!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,dd
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 12:34 PM

Anyone for BRAND NEW KEY.....recorded by Melanie. Truly obnoxious

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 28 Dec 03 - 07:08 AM

My Ding-A-Ling takes on a whole new dimension when performed by a woman, particularly at a women's music ferstival. Once again proving that there is no accounting for taste.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Ely
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 11:32 PM

(In addition to agreeing with much of what has already been posted) The "My Ding-A-Ling" one is pretty awful, and I've never heard a version of that song about the orphan girl freezing to death on the rich man's steps that I could tolerate. I also hate "Last Night I had the Strangest Dream" because it's simplistic, un-helpful drivel.

The best version I ever heard of "Achy-Breaky Heart" was converted to zydeco--not only did it have that rockin' Cajun rhythm but it was in Cajun French and I couldn't understand a word . . .

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 10:49 PM

"Watching Scotty Grow"? That would be another Star Trek inspired song, right? James Doohan (Scotty) did grow very noticeably as the years went by until he finally became heavier than the entire warp drive of the starship Enterprise, necessitating his retirement from the service.

Kirk, on the other hand, remained trim, athletic and inexpressibly sexy right up until his final appearance in "Generations", where the character (but not the actor) died heroically, saving the Galaxy. True, he did belong to Corset-Wearers Anonymous for a few years, but it was only a temporary lapse when the Loblaws commercials got cancelled and T.J.Hooker was earing very poor reviews. He soon bounced back, as heros must when duty calls.

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Janice in NJ
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:55 PM

There really is no accounting for taste. Is there?

Frank, for example, put Run, Nigger, Run on his list, I suspect because it had evolved into a terribly racist song among white old-time string bands. But I've heard Peggy Seeger perform Run, Nigger, Run as an empathetic song warning an escaped slave that the patrolmen ("paddy rollers") were out and about. Nevertheless, I think Jerry was onto something when he mentioned Watching Scotty Grow. It must be the combination of inauthenticity and schmaltz that make a song unbearable. I will therefore submit a nomination: The Blue Water Line, sung by the Brothers Four.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 08:28 PM

My lord...that *does* sound bad. But don't tell me that so prolific a vocal stylist as William Shatner has actually neglected to record it?!

D.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 06:23 PM

"Stairway to Heaven" - the CD (a copy of which I do not own!) of the collected versions as done by everybody (including Rolf Harris) - except William Shatner.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 05:08 PM

LH--I do believe it may have been the inimitable Sex Pistols that recorded "My Way", although I'd have to check to be certain!

D.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Joybell
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:44 PM

I always wanted more colours in that one, Jim. Great possibilities. Like a verse about murder - colour it blood-red. Purple for rage. The whole song is colour it green though, for nausea.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Frank
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:40 PM

There are a few that would qualify in my book. But the worst would be those that are used to demean others and dehumanize.

Some racist songs from the South would qualify such as Run N----------Run, the Pateroll Will Get You, or I've Got A Bimbo Down in the Bamboo Isle. Some Minstrel shows would qualify. Songs demeaning to women would also qualify in my book such as many "dirty" songs
that are not funny but ugly such as Barnicle Bill the Sailor.
Songs that were employed for negative political purposes would
have to qualify such as Dixie even though as a song, it has a great tune but has been debased by some psuedo-Confederates such as the Klan. The Horst Wessel song might qualify. Jovenetse Primavera from facist Italy might be another.

As to the inane aspects of some popular songs such as "Feelings"
or other bits of treacle, I think that if they don't do damage
and someone likes them then I can't consider them the worst I've heard. This thread is a set-up in that it's a subjective opinion that's asked for, not a critique of the mechanics of songwriting.

But the sexist, racist, inhumane songs for me would qualify.

Frank

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Jerry Rasmussen
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:34 PM

Really, there is no contest:

Watching Scotty Grow by Bobby Goldsboro.

A definite finger down the throat song.

Jerry

And c'mon Kendall... you obviously hate Frank Sinatra (who was one of my greatest influences) but he sang more great SONGS than anyone in the history of the planet..

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,navigator
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:19 PM

Hut sut ralston on the rillara and the bralla bralla suet
or something like that

Subject: Lyr Add: MY COLORING BOOK
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:05 PM

Has everyone forgotten this one?

MY COLORING BOOK
(Words, Fred Ebb. Music, John Kander. 1962.)

If you admire coloring books,
And lots of people do,
I've a new one for you!
A most unusual coloring book,
The kind you never see,
Crayons ready, crayons set,
Begin to color me!

These are the eyes that watched her,
As she walked away,
Color them gray!

This is the heart,
That thought she would always be true,
Color it blue!

These are the arms that held her,
And touched her,
Then lost her somehow,
Color them empty now!

This is the tie, I wore,
Until you came between,
Color it green!

This is the room I sleep in, and walk in, and weep in,
And hide in, that nobody sees,
Color it lonely please!

This is the girl that once I depended upon,
Color her gone!

[As sung by Perry Como. Also famously sung by Barbra Streisand, mutatis mutandis.]

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,sorefingers
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:01 PM

Yellow Submarine ...

If I lived in a submarine I would not be singing about it!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: kendall
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 02:32 PM

Any song that Frank Sinatra sang. And, tell me, Why are there Mel Torme records?

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Joybell
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 07:09 PM

But about McArthur Park - It did contain such useful advice. I've never left a cake out in the rain since I heard that song. Why did he lose the recipe anyway? Did someone leave that out in the rain too?

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 07:00 PM

any Fart Brooks song - all of em are crap!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Joybell
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:46 PM

I thought I knew which songs to list here, but I just had to listen to "Baby's First Christmas" while shopping for my 2 year old grandson. That's by far and away the very worst. I don't even have to give the words. Just guess. Joy-the-fastest-shopper-in-the-store.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:18 PM

Well, on their next album let's hope they do "I've Never Been To Me", "Billy, Don't Be A Hero", and "Endless Love", cos we really need a whole new slant on those three.

I heard a marvelous punk version of "My Way" once, but I don't know which band it was that recorded it.

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Desdemona
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:50 PM

Amongst my Xmas gifts was a CD by a band called Me First & the Gimme Gimmes, on which they perform punk arrangements of a plethora of truly crap songs from the '60s & '70s, including "Sweet Caroline", "Seasons in the Sun", and "Danny's Song"...it is hilarious, and highly recommended, if only to wipe the original versions out of your head!

D.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: PoppaGator
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:12 PM

"McArthur's Park" was/is unforgettably awful, perhaps the worst top-selling pop song of all time.

"Never Been to Me," on the other hand, is something I had mercifully forgotten -- until you reminded me! Thanks a heap!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Peter Woodruff
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 08:37 PM

McArthur's Park..."Someone left the cake out in the rain." Yuck!

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 05:02 PM

There was one polluting the airwaves back in the summer, with some guy singing..."We'll wake up, we'll make up, and do it for the last time, then we'll break up, and shake up, and do it for the last time..." or something like that.

Really, really annoying. And they were playing it everywhere. Mercifully, they seem to have finally stopped doing so.

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Tom Hamilton
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 02:43 PM

A song by Ferlon Husky called 'the drunken driver'

it is just a typical country 'talking' song 'rubbish' it tells the story of a driver how is drunk whilst driven his car and he ends up killing his son and daughter.

a really lovely song.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: mg
Date: 25 Dec 03 - 01:29 PM

Boy, Kilkelly Ireland is sure up there in my book. Not as high as Barrett's Privateers or Bright Morning Stars..maybe on a par with Caledonia..and Wode which is a travesty of a beautiful tune....but I do like the Drummer Boy..mg

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:47 PM

Well, no, I don't think so, Ebbie. Are you suggesting it should have been "I've Never Been To Myself"? :-) That wouldn't have scanned nearly as easily.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:29 PM

"I'm Never Been To Me", Little Hawk? Is there something seriously wrong with the title? :^)

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:21 PM

Just took a look at a site where they totally love Charlene. Here is the lyric in question:

Soundtrack : the adventure of priscilla : queen of the desert (1994)

title: I've Never Been To Me

Hey lady, you lady cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But I wish some one had talked to me like I wanna talk to you…

Ooh I've been to georgia and california and, anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun but I ran out of places and friendly faces
Because I had to be free
I've been to paradise
But I've never been to me…

Please lady, please, lady
Don't just walk away
Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me
Still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart
That has lived a million lies…..

Oh I've been to Niece and the isle of greece
While I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like harlow in Monte Carlo
And showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that woman ain't supposed to see…
I've been to paradise,
But I've never been to me….

(Spoken part...)
Hey, you know what paraddise is? it's a lie
A fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding
It's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love……

(singing resumes...)
Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I…I took the sweet life
I never knew
I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring
That costs too much to be free… hey lady…

I've been to paradise…
But I've never been to me…

I've been to paradise
Never been to me
I've been to Georgia and California
And anywhere I could run
I've been to paradise never been to me been to Niece and the isle of greece
While I've sipped champange on a yacht
I've been to paradise never been to to me…(fade)


This is the kind of record that either reduces you to tears or makes you want to shoot the radio...

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 10:03 PM

Two Little Boys

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 09:45 PM

I actually think "As Time Goes By" is a very good song of its particular type. Classic, in fact. So does Mr Chongo (Chongo Chimp, Primate Eye), and he says any chump that doesn't like that song needs a good smack on the beezer or a shlug from a forty-five....

But here's another really dreadful song from the 70's: "I'm Never Been To Me"

It's grotesquely awful in its mundane earnestness and melodrama. I think the artist who recorded it was named "Charlene" or something like that. It may have been her only hit.

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Charley Noble
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 02:02 PM

THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY***** THE LITTLE DRUMMER BOY*****

i can't take it anymore...
charley noble

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Martin Gibson
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 12:48 PM

I've loved a lot of country music, but I have a problem with anything Kenny Chesney does.

I am also sick of Xmas music

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST,Jim Knowledge
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 08:34 AM

I `ad that Louis Armstrong in my cab once. `is trumpet sounded
bleeding awful. I said did you get that mended at Boosey and `awkes?
`e said nah, I did it my way.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 07:36 AM

1. Agadoo-doo-doo (wave a chicken in the air)
2. Sugar - honey-honey
3. Sir Cliff Richard's "Lord's Prayer" (what a liberty)
4. The Deck Of Cards
5. Boom-bang-a-bang (and most of the Eurovision winners)
6. Congratulations by Sir Cliff again
7. Anything sung by rugby teams on the coach on the way back

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Dave Hanson
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 06:40 AM

1. There Were Roses.
2. Killkelly Ireland.
3. The Lightning Express.
4. Okie From Muskogie
5. All country and western songs.
All these should be put into room 101 immediately and forever.
eric

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: harvey andrews
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 06:38 AM

It has to be that travesty by Neil Diamond with the immortal line;
"And no one said a word, not even the chair."

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 06:21 AM

"...we have moved on." (Little Hawk) For some things that applies, but not for songs - by which I mean, if a song is good at one time it stays good for all time, regardless of changes in customs and tastes that might make it harder to appreciate.

And I think "As Time Goes By" is a very good song. Wryly humorous as well as sentimental. I believe they nearly took it out of Casablanca, the same way they tried to take Over the Rainbow out of the Wizard of Oz. I wonder how many times the song that would have made a movie ended on the cutting-room floor?

..................

Of all songs that make me cringe the no-question winner is "I did it My Way" - no doubt someone's going to say it's their favourite song in the world...

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 05:46 AM

Last night I heard my mamma singing a song ..............
Oo - Ee chirpy chirpy cheep cheep
What is this all about ??

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Ethereal Purple
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 05:21 AM

I think I love 'As Time Goes By' only because of Casablanca :-).

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Dec 03 - 04:57 AM

"As Time Goes By." was the title of a brillant BBC TV series.
Starred Judi Dench & the guy from Yes Minster I think...
That slow subtle hysterically funny British sense of humour - about the guy and the girl who met in England in WWII, then drift apart, until they bump into each other years later.
The song fitted that very well as the theme song.

'The Mountains of Mourne' is actually a very funny song - subtle british humout again - combined with a wistfulness. that's why it was so damn popular for so long.. Pretty tune too - heard a wonderful song about using it about the REAL Molly Malone Statue... :-)

Robin

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Melani
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 09:29 PM

How can anyone forget the classic, "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose It's Flavor on the Bedpost Overnight"?

I actually like "The Ramblin' Rover," though I do tend to leave out the verse about colitis.

And I write much worse songs than any of you--that's why I don't.

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: kendall
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 09:17 PM

1. Feelings.

2 Achy brakey heart
3 I love a rainy night

Subject: RE: What is the worst song you ever heard?2
From: GUEST,Christ_Monkey
Date: 23 Dec 03 - 09:01 PM

Definitly Glenn Mediros, nothings gonna change my love for you...

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 02 - 08:20 PM

A homosexual dwarf wrote a show that bombed, but launched an eventual hit tune at the same time? Boy, truth really IS stranger than fiction... :-)

I wasn't under the impression that it was written about WWII, but it sure was popular at that time. Thanks for the update.

- LH

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: JJ
Date: 17 Sep 02 - 07:39 PM

"As Time Goes By" was written in 1931 for a bomb of a show called EVERYBODY'S WELCOME by Herman Hupfeld, a homosexual dwarf. I like the song, but it wasn't written about WWII.

Subject: RE: what's the worst song you ever heard?3
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 02 - 04:21 PM

"As Time Goes By" fit the time it was written in, which was a very different time indeed. Look at the bombastic and simplistic war movies and cowboy movies from the same era, and you will see that. It had its good points and its bad points, that era, but we have moved on. If people like "As Time Goes By" they probably do because it evokes the memory of that time very strongly.

- LH