Subject: Lyr Add: THE BALLAD OF ANUCH SMITH
From:
GUEST,Andy Casserley
Date: 15 Nov 02 - 08:29 AM
Steve
I remember the writer of this parody, Jim Stevens, singing it at the Jug of Punch Folk Club in Birmingham in 1973.
He wrote it as a parody of the version that Lorna Campbell used to sing. The first time he performed, it was immediately after the original version. I sing it myself very rarely, only if someone has just sung Matty Groves.
Coincidentally I am performing at the Brewers Droop folk club on 21/11/02 and have already had a request to sing "The Ballad of Anuch Smith".
Here are the lyrics.
Enjoy
'Twas Easter time up Dudley town, a time to sing and shout.
The people all gathered in the Two Bulls' Yeds to push the jug about.
In the corner sat a lot of young wenches. they was on a spree.
On her own sat Molly Wilkins. as quiet as a mouse was she.
But when her'd had a couple of drinks, her started to look around.
Then her seen young Anuch Smith drinking old and brown.
"Come wum with me, young Anuch Smith. come wum with me," her said.
"Come wum with me to me council flat and we can go to bed."
"I won't come wum. I shor come wum. I won't come wum today,
Cos yo belong to Albert Wilkins and he's a right old tearaway."
"Yo'm right. I belong to Albert Wilkins, and he's a rotten sod.
He's gone to Cradley dog track and left me on me tod."
One of Albert's mates was by the door, a shifty little mon.
He says, "I'll goo and find Albert, let him know what's gooin on."
In his hurry to get to Albert, he belted down the street
And he jumped on a number 244 bus to get to Cradley Heath.
When he found Albert leaning on the bar,
He said, "Aynuch Smith's with your young Molly and I'm sure they'll goo to far."
"Now, if what yo'm teeling me is right, our kid, I'll mek it worth your while,
But if yo'm tellin a pack of lies I'll mark your bleedin dial."
So Albert pulled on his helmet and jumped on his motor bike
And belted back to Dudley to put this matter right.
Aynuch said, "Hear Albert's bike with the engine running free!"
"Lie down, you fool," says Molly. "It's only next door's lavatory.
So Aynuch Smith he lay down to rest his weary yed.
When he awoke, Albert Wilkins was standing by the bed.
Saying, "Get up, get up, Ayuch Smith, and get your trousers on,
Cos I won't have it said round Dudley Town that I bashed a naked mon."
"I won't get up and I shan't get up. I won't get up for yo tosh,
Cos you've got two long cycle chains and I ain't got me cosh.
"Yo'm right I got two cycle chains. I got them off me mate,
But yo can have the half-inch and I'll tek the three-eighths."
So Aynuck swung his half-inch chain, gave Albert such a jolt,
But Albert's helmet saved him. Aynuch had shot his bolt.
When Albert swung his chain, the blood begun to pour.
Aynuch Smith rolled on his back and he could tek no more.
Then he turns to Molly, "Come here, yo little squirt.
Who do yo love th best now? Anuch Smith or Bert?"
Then up spoke young Molly as her begun to weep:
"I'd rather have my Aynuch than yo, yo bloody creep."
This upset old Albert. It was more than he could tek,
So he took his great long cycle chain and wrapped it round her neck.
A police car was passing by. They heard young Molly squail.
The cops rushed into that council flat. Now Albert Wilkins he's in jail.
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