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BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dave Bryant Date: 20 Dec 02 - 08:07 AM Don't forget the 28lb box of Bailey's Chocolate Liqueurs - I wonder who's name's on that..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: My guru always said Date: 20 Dec 02 - 07:20 AM The Stray watched while LTS rummaged through the large pile of pressies under the tree. Some were labelled but most of them weren't, so it looked like there was going to be a huge guessing game going on later. Most everyone knew each other anyway so most Catters would get something appropriate & others had hinted anyway. Both cats had had a good scratch at the wrapping paper earlier, boy was that Tortoishell a confusing Feline? The obvious presents were: A clever belt containing '007' tools for getting out of bondage An Acorn GPS handheld tracking system for use when lost Portable photo-copier A set of Jesses with little tinkly bells A Dictio9arey Bicycle repair kit for punctured nuts Fingerless gloves for fiddling with in the cold Fartanackle Choir CD (glowing gently) Small bag of red Leb Tin of Ducks Custard Powder Praire Oysters A coconut with a Lime & some Salt A set of extremely White Handkerchiefs Whoopie Cushion A Soft Bread Roll with an Orange A Large Block of Ice A bathtub of Sheep Dip It didn't take long for these presents to be chosen.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: GUEST,Big,tough, hairy RSPCA inspector Date: 20 Dec 02 - 07:00 AM Right then you lot...I am stopping this thread right now.Never in all my years have I seen such blatant abuse of our poor, helpless, dumb friends.Release that duck, I say, let go that shivering monkey,sober up those cats,put that lemming DOWN, madam,stop cooking up prehistoric creatures and for Gods Sake, will someone please retire that sheep? Disgraceful.......shouldn't be allowed in any supposedly humane forum, just you wait, you lot will up to your arses in writs in no time flat, I can tell you......don't deserve to be allowed a thread you don't......... muttering and cursing the RSPCA inspector trudges off to police the other threads and if possible, find out who killed Cock Robin. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 20 Dec 02 - 03:00 AM a stuffed duck and a coffee flavoured monkey trying to hit on the Christmas tree fairy..... I have GOT to stop smoking other peoples' Baileys.... Hey, pusscat, shift over and let me have a go at those presents under the tree... mind the ducks arse though, I think it's still loaded.... I'm sure there's a package under here with my name on it... if it doesn't have chocolate in it, there will be tears (and possibly a few dismembered limbs) before bedtime. Cheer up chaps, after tomorrow the days start getting longer again. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 19 Dec 02 - 10:11 PM The Norwegian/Irish woman thanks Yorkshire Tony for the offer of lutefisk, declining, but adds "What I really want to eat is some lefse. Do you think that guy cooking could whip some up after they finish with the duck?" The commotion surrounding the duck grows louder with every handful of bread shoved into the bird. Sage shouts over the bar at MMario to ask if he has any boiled potatoes and can he make lefse? He seems distracted, pulling small frozen game hens from an institutional freezer behind the bar and tucking them into his pockets and under his armpits in an attempt to thaw them fast. The shouting continues, amid many shrieks of indignation at the treatment of the duck. "Well fuck a duck," Sage mutters to herself, and looks around for a way to get the cook's attention. A tipsy cat seated at the edge of the beautiful tree winks. Winks! Looking more closely at the animal, Sage sees that the cat is seated on the end of a long slim plank lying across the floor. Picking up one end and gently sliding the inebriated cat to the floor under the tree, she holds the board aloft and stretches it out to prod MMario in the shoulder. One of his game hens has escaped the pouch of his tunic and suddenly slipped to the floor, smashing a couple of toes as it bounces off of his left foot. The board reaches his shoulder just as he bends to retrieve the little bird, and receives a resounding "thunk!" on the head as he rises. Turning his sweaty gaze on the duo standing on the other side of the noisy bar, MMario finally understands that these two would like him to add potetlefse to his list of stuff to cook. "Okay, but put the *%&$##ing board down!" he hollers back. His voice is all but lost as the crowd roars. A wag approaches from behind the bar with an onion and hands it to Cluin. "I wouldn't do that if I were you," advises the overworked cook, but too late. Cluin cuts into the onion, releasing the eye-smarting scent, which promptly revives the duck, who with one mighty push blasts out the biggest wettest greenest wad of guano anyone in this room has ever seen emerge from one small bird. The cappucine monkey steps up to the duck, wraps his spindly arm around it's non-shoulders, and suggests they adjourn to the top of the tree. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 19 Dec 02 - 08:49 PM (Wow! You must be psychic) *SNAP* The barkeep smacks himself on the forehead. "Damn! What was I thinking? We have bread!" He hauls a loaf of sliced bread out from below, slaps it down on the bar and rips the bag open. "YES! Yes! Yes, we have bread! I got your fornicating bread, right here. C'mere, duck!" With that, he reaches out and grabs the stubborn duck and shoves its head under his armpit. One hand pulls the duck's legs aside and the other begins shoving handfuls of bread up the duck's ass. *stuff* *stuff* *stuff* "We got bread. Sure, we got lotsa bread. GREAT bread! Best bread in the world!" *stuff* *stuff* *stuff* "Here Ducky, have s'more. Oh yeah! Bread! Yummy yummy bread!" *stuff* *stuff* *stuff* "Atsagooooood Ducky. Take yer ##$%%^$$% bread. It's good for ya! Sure it is!" *stuff* *stuff* *stuff* "Hey MMario! Bring me an onion. And set the oven to 450!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 08:08 PM Is there a doctor in the house? Or the lovely Avocado Kween hersailf? There's a little anthropomorphic avian from the wilds of West licquorice-ridden Yorkshire who desires your presence, your madgestiness... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 19 Dec 02 - 07:45 PM Barkeep flips the duck a coin. "Hit the road!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 07:42 PM I've suffered enough for this, got to finish it..."Got'ny bread?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 19 Dec 02 - 07:22 PM ... returns to the bar asking: "Where'd you get the nail?" "We already had some here," the barkeep shrugs. "There's one old bugger comes in here who insists on a real rusty nail in his Rusty Nail. I'd suggest you bugger off now and get a tetanus jab." |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Gareth Date: 19 Dec 02 - 07:05 PM The inflatable sheep, now fully errect after the , Ahem, Blow job bounces up to the bar :- " A pint of Olde Sheep Dip for myself, and 15 gallons of Brains S.A. for my butties in the Aberflyhalf RFC, oh yes and a sprinkling of of termites for my friend the duck, yes the one wot is imitating the hedgehog on the motorway. " Mmario points out that pressed duck is supposed to be a delicacy. "Only 15 gallons 'Ewe", exclaim the RFC, "We brought along the linesman and Moira the Rugby Groupy as well !". "OK then", bleats the inflatable Sheep, " make it 17 gallons, and be sure they are imperial measure not American !" The bar goes quiet, 17 imp' gallons, well thats 136 imperial pints, it takes a long time to pull, even in a virtual Tavern. "Now lads !", the sheep explains, "Lets have a good old South Welsh Song, and I'll bleat the time !!" And Moira, the Rugby Groupy {She likes men who play with odd shaped balls} leads off with that old classic (Moira)If I, Sir, was the marrying kind, (Omnes) And thank the Lord your not Ma'am ! (M)The type of man that I would wed, Would be a Mudcat poster ! (Omnes) For he'd log in, and he'd log out, And we would both log in together, We'd be alright in the middle of the night, Logging in together !!" This continues for several hundred more verses - No wonder they need 8 pints of S.A. a head to continue singing. Surprisingly the Morris men are silent, possibly contemplating the sheep surrounding the Brown Jug at Upchurch, and the Ship Ashore at Hollow Shore. And the fact that the Sea Wall at Hollow Shore don't allow the woolleybacks any roon to run away!!. Gareth |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: SINSULL Date: 19 Dec 02 - 06:56 PM Aflac...Aflac!!! AFLACCCCCCC!!!!!!! And with this the duck dislodges the nails, files a workman's comp claim and returns to the bar asking... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 19 Dec 02 - 06:56 PM ACK! I was going to use them to garnish the glogg! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Rustic Rebel Date: 19 Dec 02 - 06:48 PM Yeah,if your getting it on with the lemon. I don't think you could cross-breed. If we could Tony would that make you a lemon pop? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Yorkshire Tony Date: 19 Dec 02 - 06:38 PM Having tested the lutefisk, Camo pulls a disgusted face and returns to the Aurochs and Baileys. She will try most things once but now undestands why Norwegians only eat it once a year. Tony is still trying to attract a Swedish maiden by holding his nose and washing the lutfisk down with aquavit. He generously offers to share with Silly River Sage, then tries forcefeeding the stuff to the immobilised duck. Liz's merkin comes to rest behind the bar on a lemon where a short sighted lemming attempts to mate with it. What was it I read about lemon juice as a contraceptive? Is a whole lemon even more effective? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 06:06 PM ....but .... the nails were all used to mend the hole in the roof!! mmmmmf |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Dec 02 - 05:55 PM Damn... that's where the merkin went.... Unless lemons are supposed to squeak??? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Morticia Date: 19 Dec 02 - 05:50 PM no wonder there's fur in my gin and tonic.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 05:22 PM mmmmf |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Dec 02 - 05:08 PM Hey ducky, was there something you wanted? LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Catherine Jayne Date: 19 Dec 02 - 05:01 PM "Stoopid question, me duck, asking if we have any nails" says the bartender who is getting increasingly more pissed off with the ducks persistant questions asking for bread as he nails the ducks little webbed feet to the bar floor!!! "Na watch us get the 'duck liberation and duckish rights movement' protesting abart this......" Says the scruffy stranger in the corner. Micca seems to have been downing the ciders tonight and decides it's about time he gave us all a song. He stands on the chair and starts. At first he starts and almost everyone looks up because the song seems to be a serious one......then.......Micca turns it into a parody!!!!!......People give a sigh of relief just to know that he is not ill! The Tavern has celebrated Noreen's birthday and now it seems we have something else to celebrate. We all raise our glasses and toast Max on the impending new arrival to his household.....we keep the champagne on ice to wet the baby's head when it arrives....the new mudkitten..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 04:57 PM Of course! There's always a lemming or two behind the bar, for the gin & tonics. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 04:55 PM A lemming???????? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 19 Dec 02 - 04:36 PM To the little duck's surprise - at least 2 cats, a lemming, three shrews and a saggy-assed tortoise display claws - abundant sharp claws. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 04:10 PM "Got'ny nails?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 19 Dec 02 - 04:07 PM "Tusk, tusk," said the tall blonde woman as the walrus jammed his girth through the doorway, cracking the load-bearing support opposite the hinges of the door. "I won't choose THAT doorway if there's an earthquake in here!" She walks over to the tree, past the cats, gently nudging chameleons out of the way with the tip of her shoe, and reaches down to gently dislodge one of the duck's knees from a large crack in what used to be the bar. "There you go, get along, little duckie." She pulls several objects out of her pocket, examines them closely, looks around the room, back at her hand, then carefully pulls out the perfect miniature representation of a lumber 2x4 on a small gold hook and places it in the tree. She bends over to the wet spot where the walrus passed close to the tree and picks up the discarded metal lid to the wine snack jar. This she props on the branch between two small twigs, near the 2x4. Next, she pulls some bread from her pocket and drops it gently on the duck's head. In the spirit of the season, she has cast bread upon the wattles.
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 19 Dec 02 - 03:58 PM To which every person in the Tavern replies in unison: "No, you little shit! There's no frikkin' bread in the place! Now shuddup or we'll nail your little webbed feet to the Bar!" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 03:16 PM QU...ACK! indignant ruffle of displaced feathers, bar splinters scattering "Got'ny ...bread?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Gareth Date: 19 Dec 02 - 01:45 PM Herring Smacks ??? " Out of Yarmouth we were sailing ??" Gareth |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dead Horse Date: 19 Dec 02 - 01:44 PM The walrus opens the door, and in march the Cerne Abbas Mummers. "In comes I,.................(looks furtively around, and heaves a sigh of relief - no PEL inspectors) but before we begin, I'm off to the bar, for a double of gin." "Not very traditional, but they've always done it" says DH, with a grin. "Chalk one up for the Long Men" Hearing this, Morti & Liz come over all hot 'n funny. "So why are you called Long Men?" they enquire, in unison. (Together, at once, simultaneously, with each other, at one and the same time, harmonised). |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 19 Dec 02 - 01:02 PM
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 19 Dec 02 - 12:48 PM ohmygawd. whatever shall we tell Geoff and Mrs. Duck? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 19 Dec 02 - 12:43 PM Suddenly there is a huge *THUD* on the roof, followed by a splintering/crashing sound and a new hole in the roof has been formed. Right over the bar and the hapless duck. Through the hole plummets (in a controlled way) a large purple bespectacled walrus, landing squarely on the duck, mashing it flat. "GOO GOO GOO JOOB!" roars the walrus, which heaves it self off the duck-stained, splintered remains of that section of the bar. It starts walrussing (what else would you call it?) towards the North door. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 10:55 AM Yellow duck licks the last of the Baileys from his webs, sniffs diparagingly (as only Pontefract ducks can) at the roast aurochs and singed mashed with bacon, and dodges a sly side-swipe form a not-very-interested tortoiseshell. "Got'ny bread?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 19 Dec 02 - 10:43 AM uh-oh don' let the rain, come down, uh-oh don' let the rain come down! uh-oh don' let the rain come down - the roof had a hole in it but it's all fixed... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Noreen Date: 19 Dec 02 - 10:37 AM "Got'ny bread?" (Glad to see those nails have all been used to mend the roof- thanks for that, Rustic Rebel!) |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Rustic Rebel Date: 19 Dec 02 - 09:29 AM a long haired, foul smelling, dirtier than dirt man dressed in a loin cloth and tool belt, equipt with hammer, walks into the tavern from the eastern door. Barkeep, please tend to my thirst with a Johney Walker Red and a Guiness shooter, for I have been walking the desert for fourty years when suddenly, my father from an alien ship beamed down and told me, "there is a little tavern to the west that has a hole in the roof and the rain is coming in." I have a hammer, but I have no nails. I'll just sit here and get wasted, if all else fails. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 19 Dec 02 - 09:21 AM Cats on the rooftops, cats on the tiles! Cats with the clap, and the crabs and the piles! Cats with their butts all wreathed in smiles; As they revel in the joys of YEeeee-OUCH! How'd that thing get so hot! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dave Bryant Date: 19 Dec 02 - 09:12 AM Liz, still laughing, turns to look at the plate which MMario is proffering. The plate seems to be getting hotter and MMario jumps back and drops it as sparks start arcing from the decorative gold rim. Up to that point no one had realised that the most powerful part of Liz's notorious laugh was in the Microwave part of the spectrum ! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dead Horse Date: 19 Dec 02 - 09:08 AM Big Boy! Jeez. I ain't bin called that since I tried to sneak on a kids ride at Disney World. I got a tankard that holds 7.5pints (why aint there no fractions keys) and before that damn mangey cat with the kung-fu claws got at it, it had a lid. Hinged. Right! Where's that feline Rabbi? Come and see what ya can do with a gall-bladder, and save the National Health time & money. If it's got to go, then it might as well end up in a Yorkshire cat. Hope the stones choke the varmint. If Cheshire cats have smiles, what do Yorky cats have? Maybe their anal sphincters enlarge to a point where they completely vanish in a cloud of feline fart! Mustn't get too regionalist: I once knew a gal who gave a whole new meaning to Flamborough Head! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 19 Dec 02 - 08:44 AM Good thing too - they were out of their jurisdiction. Who wanted the mashed with bacon? ORDER UP! BTW folks - the dessert buffet is in the biliard room. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Dave Bryant Date: 19 Dec 02 - 08:39 AM Dead Horse looks cautiously round the room - there's no sign of Kay - and he doesn't get offers like that from ladies (let alone LTS) every day. He staggers over to her, "OK - GET EM OFF" he shouts seductively. He strikes what he thinks is a manly pose and removes the last tatters of the basque. It is only at this point that he realises what the ravages of the Bearmat Demon and Camo the tortoiseshell cat have done to him. He is quite unable to raise a stuttered monologue - let alone anything else. Liz takes one look and a high-pitched squeaking sound of incredible volume fills the room. All the animals rush out of their nearest doors, several patrons fall to the ground unconscious, and the Klein bottle hanging on the Christmas Tree explodes releasing the two PEL inspectors. "Christ" says one "What was it that Mr Howells said about the racket that one unamplified performer can make ? - we better get the environmental people down here as well". They rush out of the southern hemisphere door straight into a christmas convention of funnel-web spiders. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: MMario Date: 19 Dec 02 - 08:27 AM In Unison the inhabitants of the bar rise up and throw things at the spammer. Sharp pointy things. Heavy blunt things. ERASERS! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Rapparee Date: 19 Dec 02 - 07:17 AM Then he heard it, off in the distance at first, a muffled sort of sound which seemed all the world like a thud-thud, thud-thud, getting louder and louder and louder as it came closer and closer and closer. Just as it reached its crescendo, the northernwestern door was torn from its hinges and a balog stomped in, its meter-long tusks dripping black venom, its evil red eyes...no, wait, it was Amos, who'd gotten lost on his way to the men's room...chanting his mantra... FLOOD DICK! FLOOD DICK! FLOOD DICK! (sorry, I can't do the html well or this would get larger and larger) FLOOD DICK! FLOOD DICK! FLOOD DICK! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 19 Dec 02 - 03:12 AM The tall Irish/Norwegian woman opens the door a crack and moves in from the cold. She quietly slips into the welcoming warmth of the room and walks toward a corner, until she notices the rocket-propelled darts, and moves toward the southern hemisphere door instead. It's warm there, and as she is wrapped in many layers of clothing, quickly gets too hot. She removes her woolen hat, outer Gortex parka, a down vest, and a flannel shirt, then steps out of her boots and flannel lined snow pants to reveal a jeans and a soft fuzzy sweater. "I thought I smelled some lutefisk, but there's also some boeuf here, I think," she says softly to herself. A quiet dyslexic, she sets her pile of discarded clothing against the wall and glances around to see if there was a monitor where she can catch up with the conversation before saying anything. Several tree ornaments rest quietly in her pocket until she's up to speed and is sure they will be welcome. She pulls a small jar of herring wine snacks out of the pocket of her parka and approaches the barkeep. She twists the jar open and places it on the bar. "A red beer, please" The bartender pulls out a can of tomato juice, pours two ounces into the bottom of the schooner, then fills it with beer on tap. "Thanks," she mumbles, and steps back to the wall to watch the crowd and smell the wonderful aroma of food cooking. She thinks maybe she should go schmooze with the cook for a few minutes, and find out just what all is cooking back there and out front. In the time it took her to decide to enter the building so MUCH had happened. . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 19 Dec 02 - 02:10 AM Oh Dead Horse, if only you could see it properly.... It holds half a gallon and I've never been able to find anyone rich enough to fill it copmletely with Baileys..... but it has been filled with many another liquid in it's time...... but maybe here isn't the place for that. Hey big boy, come and fill me up with that wonderful creamy stuff.... if I can get the bloody cat out .... something seems to have frightened her. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Yorkshire Tony Date: 19 Dec 02 - 01:00 AM Tony and Camo wander after the Swedish maidens - although for slightly different reasons. If I have to eat lutefisk and drink aquavit to get a grope with something other than an inflatable sheep - well you only live once. I wonder if this place has a Sauna or if the Swedish maidens would settle for a bit of jelly wrestling instead. Hey MMario - have you got some mashed potato and bacon to go with this lutefisk? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: mg Date: 19 Dec 02 - 12:19 AM Swedish maidens despair of humans eating the lutefisk so they are prancing all around the bar saying here kitty kitty.. mg |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Cluin Date: 18 Dec 02 - 11:57 PM Barkeep replies, while putting away the box of nails under the bar, "I just serve drinks. No I don't have any bread. Go ask MMario." |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT CHRISTMAS TAVERN '02 From: Yorkshire Tony Date: 18 Dec 02 - 10:16 PM For crying out loud - I am not mangey - I am a tortoiseshell cat and all tortoiseshell cats are FEMALE!! (Although in my case not as noticeably as I once was before a trip to the vet). Now you come near me with that and I'll show you that although old my claws are still sharp. OK, you asked for it - rip, hack, slash. Camo returns to her Baileys with her tail proclaiming her victory, while a passer-by turns to the sea dog and says "I didn't know you were jewish". |