Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Aidan Crossey Date: 29 Aug 01 - 06:51 AM Since the story occurred in Canada, I've parodied that classic, Canadee-i-o.
It's of a gallant lady, renowned for cutting hair |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Jack the Sailor Date: 22 Aug 01 - 04:23 PM Jingle
We clip, We strip, no lip Song I've Been Everywhere Recorded by Hank Snow Written by Geoff Mack
I was workin on a contract
Can you cut my hair ma'am?
I see rude girls, lewd girls, crude girls, nude girls
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Áine Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:03 PM OK Challenge!rs -- Here we go. Congratulations and thanks to all submitters and everyone else who just had a good laugh with us. The custard throwing seals are up next in a few minutes -- get your pens and sponges ready! And don't forget to let me know if you now qualify for the Whole Bag O' Chips award now. -- Áine
Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award: |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Hyperabid Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:08 PM Hyper <~~~~ LOL Hyp ;-P |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Amos Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:53 AM I'm glad to see, MM, that someone is keeping one eye on reality around here. I'm just trying to figure out who it is....:>),p>I love you guys! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: MMario Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:40 AM I refuse to believe there are custard throwing seals. Custard throwing sea lions perhaps, but seals? Some things are just a bit too far fetched to believe in. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Áine Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:28 AM Gawd, but I love your twisted little mind, Hyp!! - Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Hyperabid Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:11 AM Naked custard-throwing lesbian seals on unicycles? Hyp |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Áine Date: 21 Mar 00 - 09:28 AM I knew it, I knew it!!! I knew y'all had a couple more songs in ya! Mbo - I have to agree with Amos, you've been 'outed' as a REAL MAN by that song; so, no more whinging about how you're a 'prude' anymore. We have the goods on ya now, young man (hee hee hee). Well done, I'm so proud of you. Homeless - you're shameless as well, aren't ya? Just what we need around here -- join the family! And no, that little shave and a . . . business does NOT qualify as an entry; besides, I doubt seriously that it hasn't been thought of before. Good job on both of your songs! Thanks for the late entries -- I think we've 'been there, done that' on this one (well, except for Barky and Mbo, perhaps), so I'll be posting awards this morning and starting the next Challenge!. The next one is a doozy, so don't miss it -- Just to tease y'all a little bit -- We've written songs about ferrets, panties, double entendre haircuts, marital infidelity, 'hooded' weddings, munchkins, online bovines, breakfast cereal, whacked chickens, enraged moose, nude shoppers, food, and bees with antennae on their bottoms; but, what subject have we NOT touched on in the SONG CHALLENGE! series yet????? Stay Tuned . . . , Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Homeless Date: 21 Mar 00 - 07:49 AM To the tune of The Beatles' "Come Together" Up in Quebec, in a town called Laval, There's a beauty salon, that's the stuff of fable, All the girls who work there dress exotic, and they do the dances of the type so erotic. If no one touches, then its very legal, but the men of Laval, like to get their feels, And the girl working here just offered me more Now I'm gettin' my hair cut by a good looking whore Come together, right now, with me Tickle my nose, with your short and curlies, just like Bob DeNiro, s'the scent of you girlies, that makes me smile and drool so much The hell with that old rule that states that I can't touch Can we come together, right now, just for me? Well it seems my girlfriend, thinks my trust needs tested, so she called the police, and I got arrested, They closed down the nicest salon today. Since we got interuptted do I still have to pay? Come together, right now, just for free. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Homeless Date: 21 Mar 00 - 07:07 AM I surprised no one has thought of this one yet... It's simplicity itself. Or maybe they've thought of it but had the good taste not to post it... Shave and a haircut... and two tits. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Hyperabid Date: 21 Mar 00 - 04:54 AM Well you have all been busy little beavers (no pun intended) over the pond whilst we poor Europeans have been asleep. Well done all! Hyp |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:16 AM FEVER! Barky, you just gotta hear MacCavity from Cats...it'll blow you away! --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:09 AM Chicago has some pretty darn good brass, tho. ~Barky |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Amos Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:06 AM Man, Mbo! I just knew you had it in you!!! So glad to see that you're not hiding your light under a bushel any longer!!! Mister REAL LIFE MBO!!! TADAAAAAAAAA!! What a day .... what a beautiful day.... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:12 AM Ah....doesn't Andrew Lloyd Webber just plain RULE!? Barky, you just gotta listen to Cats! That has the best brass and woodwinds music of any musical! Well, except for THE music, Les Miserables..."Bring Him Home" on Cor Anglais....ahh..bliss.. --Mbo
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:03 AM Hey! We played that in the same field show! We also did King Herod's song from Jesus Christ Superstar, A melody of Phantom of the Opera songs, and something else which I don't remember. ~Barky |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:59 PM DON'T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA! THE TRUTH IS I NEVER LEFT YOU!! THROUGH ALL MY WILD DAYS, MY MAD EXISTENCE I KEPT MY PROMISE, DON'T KEEP YOUR DISTANCE... --Mbo (have I said too much, that's all I can think of to say to you...but all you have to do is look at me to know that EVERY WORD IS TRUE!) |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:55 PM Hey look! Baby's first double posting! Oh, how cute! ~Barky |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:53 PM I feel I must admit it to you dad... You know that job I had? Well, *sniff* every day, *sob*, I would fly down to Argentina instead of *ack!* going to school, and, well... *Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!** *Sniff* I worked there.. *sniff* and now... I'M OUT OF A JOB!!!!!!! *waaaaaahh!!!!!!!!!!!* ~A very very sad Barky. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:53 PM I feel I must admit it to you dad... You know that job I had? Well, *sniff* every day, *sob*, I would fly down to Argentina instead of *ack!* going to school, and, well... *Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!** *Sniff* I worked there.. *sniff* and now... I'M OUT OF A JOB!!!!!!! *waaaaaahh!!!!!!!!!!!* ~A very very sad Barky. |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: wysiwyg Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:43 PM ....no never mind, much too smutty a reaction to post..... |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:24 PM Ok....I know I'm never going to live this one down but... (Tune Get a Haircut by George Thorogood) You say your hair's too long, you look like a fool You stare at girls all day, and you start to drool But they ignore whatever you've got to say Why not come and get some at our Salon today? Le Salon Sex Symbol, yes that is our name Just one stop at our place and you'll be glad you came So if you need a little buzz on your knob Come get a haircut and get a blow job CHORUS Come get a haircut and get a blow job Come join our club, we make all members throb So if you're looking for a trim or a bob Come get a haircut and get a blowjob If you want a crew cut, well that's ok But five girls is the maximum, so our policies say And if you've got something exotic in mind Well to make our razors sharp, first we have to grind! If you want the "the wet look" that's our specialty You want witch hazel? We can get it on for a fee It all ends up in a thick goopy blob So come get a haircut and get a blow job! CHORUS All of our girls are very skilled with the hand The best blow dryers in all of the land Our favorite tune is "The Pipe on the Hob" Come get a haircut and get a blow job! CHORUS Ugh....I feel so ashamed...so, so, dirty... --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Homeless Date: 20 Mar 00 - 10:30 PM The Closed-Down Beauty Salon Blues I've always look spiffy My clothes all on straight My hair was so fancy I always looked great. But those days are over I'll look smooth no more Cause the ladies in town have locked up the doors I've got them ... Closed-down Beauty Salon blues. I loved all them gals They put a smile on my face every time I went down to that hair cutting place I'd just get a hair cut and some eye candy And then when I left there I'uz happy and looked dandy. I've got them ... Closed-down Beauty Salon blues. Them girls like to talk Say my favorite thangs Their words went real well with them swivels and swangs I ne'er even noticed my hair being cut My 'tention was focused on somebody's I've got them ... Closed-down Beauty Salon blues. (bridge, solo, whatever) I've got them ... Closed-down Beauty Salon blues. I was always told just to look and not touch Them local polices said that'd be too much But it seems that some fellas got carried away They started to touchin' So long as they paid Now all of their wives Said, "These antics must stop." So they went down town and they closed down my beauty shop. I've got them ... Closed-down Beauty Salon blues. (spoken, as song fades out) and my hair's getting shaggy and I miss those girls I guess I'll find a barber to cut off my curls. Why'd those ladies have to go and do that? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 20 Mar 00 - 10:25 PM ARGHH!!!! I just lost the song! Now let me see if I can remember it! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: GUEST,Caitrin Date: 20 Mar 00 - 09:45 PM Man...I send my computer to get fixed, and look what I miss! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 20 Mar 00 - 09:30 PM Mbo: You have an incredible voice! Dad: OK: Thimble.. well, when people sew, they typically have thimbles on their fingers... and if that has anything sexual to it, well then.... TELL ME! *BG* And put out, well..... *ahem*... (Never thought I'd have to explain THIS to you!........ Well, when a man and a woman REALLY love each other..... ~Barky |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:47 PM Aww...you'll sound great, Barky, don't worry. Rule for Life #1--don't let ANYONE tell you that you are bad at something, and almost never believe it if you think it of yourself. Look at me! For years I had convinced myself that I couldn't sing, after years people telling me I couldn't. You've heard me...what do YOU think? I once said one thing I could NEVER do was write a tune by myself. Now look, I'm writing my own songs and tunes like it's nothing. Our minds and bodies are capable of so much moret than we give them credit for. Believe in YOURSELF and you'll always come out a winner. Ah yes...the song. Should be done in about 20 minutes or so... --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:43 PM I love that Lulu takeoff Bradypus! Even did the tag ends beautifully! Way to go...
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Áine Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:36 PM Dear Homeless -- The Offical Mudcat Songbook Policy On Late Submissions For Any Challenge! is . . . "We'll take anything, anytime! And don't worry about missing out on an award, either -- Some of our best entries have been the post-award ones (just ask Hyp and Bradypus)! And as for the 'trim' thing -- I meant as in the trimming of hair on the head, and I really have no idea in the world what you could possibly have meant! . . . (yea, right!) -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:30 PM Barky: Just explain the part about the thimble would you? And "put out"...means what to you, exactly? Aside from these little questions I enjoyed your song very much. But I am worried about this new turn for the earthen....I fear I have brought you to a place of Bad Influence...sigh.... Dad |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Homeless Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM Áine - is that supposed to be "for a trim" or "for some trim"? Seriously tho, this morning on my way into work some blues lyrics on this topic attacked me. Don't know if I can get them all worked out and put down tonight tho. Are post-award entries allowed? |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM Oooh... I hope so! =) Actually, I was feeling REALLY bad about the way it sounded and I was saying things like, "Oh, they wouldn't want to hear me." etc., and my daddy said, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to!", and I, being the stoic type, kept on doin' it till it wuz dun! ~Barky |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Áine Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:21 PM Attagirl, Barky!! I'm so glad you didn't wimp out on us -- although I didn't think your dad would let you (hee hee). I'll be sure to be listening Wednesday night, and I hope you're ready for the all the fan mail you'll be getting! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:15 PM Aw shucks, Mbo! Oh, you guys'll like my choice for Wednesday night! It's "The Rose", and, although I go REALLY flat at some parts, and I just can't sing period, it's nice! I also did a second track with trumpet improv in the backround! I think you'll like it. =) (The instrument that sounds like a flute in the beginning is the trumpet) ~Barky |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Áine Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:54 PM That's my boys and girls! Come on down for a trim, y'all! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:43 PM Well, I'll try my best FOR YOU, after all, it was your idea in the first place! --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:41 PM Nothing could be too evil, Mbo! *Big Evil Grin* ~Barky |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:27 PM Hmmm...I'm still not too comfortable with the subject...so I'm a prude, what can I say? I have been thinking on one MAYBE, but I think it would be TOO evil to do up. --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Barky Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:09 PM *Cetchy liddle jingle*
If you need a haircut,
For here, we are your friends,
Soooooooooooooo,
*V.O.* La Salon Sex Symbol, the place to be! (On the corner of fifth and main, ask for Candy and you'll be let right in!)
~Barky |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Bradypus Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:08 PM I don't know if I dare - this is a new genre for me! The tune is 'Lulu had a Baby'. If you don't know the original, I hope this still works. I checked Digitrad for Lulu, and the best it came up with was another song described as having a similar tune to 'Lulu had a Baby'. Make of that what you will.
The song takes the advertising jingle approach - but perhaps takes it a bit too far ???
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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Áine Date: 20 Mar 00 - 06:31 PM Well, it looks as if we've gotten all the entries for this Challenge! that we're going to get. Just in case you haven't submitted your song yet, I'm letting all you Challenge!rs know that I'll be posting a new challenge in the morning. The Golden Cow Chip Awards will also be posted in the morning. Thanks to those who have taken up the gauntlet on this one, and here's hoping that we've a couple more that do before tomorrow. -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Áine Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:56 AM That's great, Hyp! Oh, the images that your song conjured up - ROTFLMAO!! Well done! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Hyperabid Date: 20 Mar 00 - 10:30 AM Now there's a morality tale for ya! Hyp |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Amos Date: 20 Mar 00 - 09:35 AM LOL! A |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Hyperabid Date: 20 Mar 00 - 05:07 AM Yet again another opportunity to wallow around in gutter humour. Far be it from me to avoid the temptation... So Needy To the tune of So Lonely – The Police V
They tell me if you have a snip C
So horny, so horny, so horny V
So I just save my cash away C
So needy, so needy, so needy
Well dancing Rita said to me C
Please help me, please help me, please help me Hyp |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 20 Mar 00 - 12:08 AM Yes, YOU'RE NOT A GUEST ANYMORE!!!! YAAAAY!!! --Mbo |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: ceitagh Date: 20 Mar 00 - 12:04 AM Meebs, i'm amazed you find time to talk to us poor mudcatters at all, what with the tolkien-esque translating pursuits and mattress parasites and all. Do you have the time to notice anything new about my post? Ceit |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Amos Date: 19 Mar 00 - 11:53 PM Gotta hand it to you, Kara -- I never would have come up with a couplet with "Salon Sex Symbol", and never would have thought of rhyming it with "David Trimble". That's inspired! |
Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17 From: Mbo Date: 19 Mar 00 - 11:49 PM I'm trying to catch up, Amos, but the Sad Eyed Young Poet/Junior Official Whiner can't! I reinterpreted Virgil's Aeneid into Quenya Elvish today. Right after I picked the dust mites out of my mattress with chopsticks, so I'm ALL TAPPED OUT tonight! --Mbo |
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