The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Joseph P
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 11:18 AM

In 88 (well 87 now) messages time, will all the text change colour depending on who is talking, and only appear at the bottom of the screen?

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 12:50 PM

Used to live near them there places, Paul - so "Worsley Village" (above or here) is literally a walkabout-poem.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 03:35 PM

By Jove, we're getting down to some real poetry now. Jolly good!

I think it worthwhile to mention just in passing that I have seen no evidence of specism yet in any of WAV's postings or poetry. This is good. He gets the Chongo Chimp stamp of approval for avoiding specist remarks and behaviour.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 03:52 PM

Did you know that the clock that called the Bridgewater boat yard workers, at Worsley, back to work after lunch used to strike 13 insead of 1? To make sure the workers heard it! The boat yard is still there but mainly for pleasure craft and the clock has been rehoused in St Marks church.

The Gnome gnows trivia, I see
About history local, you'll agree
The canal there is yellow
Because some rude fellow
Couldn't wait whilst bursting for a pee

D.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: GUEST,His Brother's Brother
Date: 13 Oct 08 - 05:24 PM

#5 The Pecking Order

Bovines are nice,
Zebras are jollier,
But not so chimps,
Judging by their holler.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 05:51 AM

Thanks David - but I still say it's the "deep-mine earth", above.

And to Brother and LH, re: "specism"...

Poem 95 of 230: A GOOD LIFE

To fauna,
    Home-flora.
Sheep for wool -
    Fed till full.
Chooks for eggs -
    Free-range legs.
Milk from cows -
    Should well house:
Better grade
    Can be made.
Fish for game -
    Cut the pain.
Dogs for pets -
    No regrets.
And question
    Castration.

This does say
    Buddha's way,
And Blake's way:
    A good life -
For all life.

From walkaboutsverse.741.com

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 07:01 AM

I have ants
In my pants.
But they'll stay;
It's nature's way.
Sheep can forage
Mongst my borage
Cause it grows
Between my toes
On English soil
Where we toil
Over pottage boil
And don't despoil
The natural scene
Little chooks
And and cows and sheep
Are all my friends
Must make amends
For nasty slaughter
It boils my water
Makes me cross
Such a loss!
Who is boss?
Who gives a toss?
Not the hoggett
In his stall;
You've took his balls.



(I wrote that while the kettle was boiling, Wavey - I dearly hope you haven't expended any more time and energy on your own efforts.)

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: GUEST,Volgadon
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 08:43 AM

He won't be very happy with me for sharing it, but His Brother's Brother spends no more than 5 minutes per verse.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Joseph P
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 10:04 AM

Running cat
chasing rat
Wearing hat
Catch the rat
Chewing fat
Fancy that

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Joseph P
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 11:30 AM

And cos its nearly home time

Going home
In a bit
Time for rugby
To get fit

Stress relief
It is for me
Then lots of meat
for my tea

Cos meat is yummy
Especially steak
And maybe lamb
For tea I'll make

Sometimes Bacon
At breakfast time
You eat yours
And I'll eat mine

Sausages
They are the best
though one thing
I must confess

British ones
Are the main type
of sausages
That I do like

So segregate
these foreign nationals
for providing
poor sausage rationals!

That last bit
is really poor
But its home time
so there'll be no more

-...-...-...-...-...-...-

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: GUEST,His Brother's Brother
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 12:02 PM

#6 The Merry Muse

I turn on the TV,
   There is time until the pottage boils,
To see what I can see,
    More namby-pamby multi-wulti-culturalism,
A shame that gone are the ways of the toil of the soil,
   No chords or fourty-two and-a-half parts, singing while they work,
Immigrants make us forget,
Our own good culture loyal.

Encyclopedias say this should not be,
The world wishes culture English for to see,
Our roast is our boast, not foreign-curree,
   Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, dear me.

I turn to sing-a-ling, a merry old tune,
Which globalism has gone and sold away,
No accompaniment, ancient as woad lovely,
FROM NOW ON, that motto like gold is,
Gone be foreign influences as fol-de-ree.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 12:34 PM

...I, myself, have retired from versification, but nice to see you all in the WAV rhythm - whilst watching the pot boil, watering the English ivy, donning your tennis shoes or clogs, or merely a-waiting the next Weekly Walkabout.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 01:58 PM

at least you acknowledge that with this collection of deliberately piss-poor doggerel we're "in your rhythm", Waveydavey...

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 02:03 PM

I'm delighted to see the burst of poetic creativity on this thread. We are finally realizing the full potential of the concept in hand here... ;-)

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Gervase
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 02:03 PM

I'd rather wait for a fistula or gonorrhoea.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: GUEST,JosephP at home
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 03:50 PM

Ruth my work is not deliberately piss-poor, I think Mudcat actually displays all of my poetic outpourings writtten within the last 5 years or so.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: GUEST,JosephP at home
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 03:59 PM

And in honour of that I have come over all poetic again -

TUESDAY NIGHT IN BEVERLEY

Back from rugby
Muddy and wet
Now listening to
An Eliza set

Great Grey Back
The name of the song
It is about
1 min 12 long

Couldnt find
any suitable meat
for my tea
so potatoes I'll eat

Baked for flavour
and crispy skin
Then cut open
And butter put in

One for my girlfriend
If she's in luck
By that I mean potato
And not a .... rubber duck

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 14 Oct 08 - 07:57 PM

easy, cowboy - you don't want to be just publishing these pearls of your "life's work" on Mudcat without serious consideration regarding effective distribution and appropriate marketing...

There are loads of libraries that might be interested in chucking it away, for a start...

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Stu
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 03:44 AM

WAV's retired from verse,
thank God; it's quite grim.
But I honestly think
verse retired from him.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: GUEST,Ralphie
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:43 AM

To Qoute from WAV...

"or merely a-waiting the next Weekly Walkabout."

Oh Dear God, Spare us. We've had enough.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Joseph P
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 04:58 AM

Well Ruth, with your contacts I thought I could print everyone a copy, and make you give it to them. For you I wrote this:

WHITSUN 08

Rain rain rain rain rain rain rain
then it gets worse and rains again
We dance a set, get soaking wet
then go out and do the same (again)

No fiddles in sight cos its too damp
God bless those that chose to camp
The crowds are small, they aint no fool
Now its cold and Ive got cramp

After lunch it did get drier
Each dance we jumped a little higher
Back came the crowd to shout aloud
as Potter they do admire!

Out came the fiddle later in the day
to play a bit of Shepherds Hey
Not played well but what the hell
So we danced to Stop the Cavalry!

Then in the pub that evening
Our squire Francis songs did sing
Out came my box (melodeon that is) and eliza did fox
by playing melodies quite baffling!

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Joseph P
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 05:06 AM

I might make this poetry an hourly affair, helps me through the day. Rhyming therapy.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 05:21 AM

You forgot to mention Reg and Tony's double jig. That was quite something - though I'm not sure what.


God, it pissed down.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Joseph P
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 05:28 AM

Good old Reg, to most people a well respected researcher in folk music, to us, the legend who turns up and gets pissed every year!

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Gervase
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 06:00 AM

Maybe we're being a little harsh on WAV's versification. As was once said of Baldrick's poetry, "It started badly, it tailed off a little in the middle and the less said about the end the better, but apart from that it was excellent."
Here's the complete works as an inspiration:

The German Guns
Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom,
Boom, Boom, Boom,
Boom, Boom, Boom, Boom,
Boom, Boom, Boom

Untitled Second Poem
Hear the words I sing,
War's a horrid thing,
So I sing sing sing...ding-a-ling-a-ling.

I reckon Wor Davey could learn a lot from those.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Joseph P
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 06:24 AM

The poems are especially good when read by Baldrick, he has a real, how do you put it in French 'I dont know'? Genius.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Joseph P
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 06:31 AM

And not to hijack the thread anymore, but this is a gem I just have to publish, and the respnse I got is pure magic.

Oh, Sara Lee For you I write this poetry
I love your cakes and buns so sticky
I eat so many I oft feel sicky
I trust your cooking to the highest degree
My serene Goddess, Sara Lee
I notice other brands of yours
To save our hands from many chores
Like the fantastically smooth Senseo coffee
Thought up by the faultless Sara Lee
I really savour your cheesecake bites
I tend to consume them every night
Food of the greatest quality
My divine provider, Sara Lee
Cakes and pies and things so lovely
Prepared so well by you, my Sara Lee

(and their reply)

Dear Joe, Thank you for getting in touch,
We're so glad to hear you like our products so much,
From Coffee to Pastries and shower gels too
Sara Lee's mission is "To Simply Delight You....."
Not just for tomorrow, last week or today
Every day's what we aim for and we mean what we say.
So, we hope that with each Sara Lee product you buy
You'll continue to love everything that you try!

Best regards

Lois Sharma
Consumer Relations Co-ordinator
Sara Lee UK

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 06:39 AM

Wavy has a tiny English dick
And no English lass will give it a lick
"Poor me!" he wails, "It makes me sick,"
"To know I'm just an English prick."

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 08:42 AM

"WAV's retired from verse,
thank God; it's quite grim.
But I honestly think
verse retired from him." (Stigweard)...many a true word said in jest - apart from the Weeklies and the postings of WAVoholics herein (and CATNIPoholics), there is more-and-more free "verse" out there these days...

Poem 148 of 230: AUDIENCE LOST

I returned, again,
    To what they pen -
The free-verse poets:
    Deep prose in sets...
I could read, again,
    Of Mice and Men.

From walkaboutsverse.741.com

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Joseph P
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 08:55 AM

So you were the sole bastion of structured verse poetry? Without you poetry will fall into crazy free verse styles?

What about my poems? I like to think they rhyme, from time to time.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Stu
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 09:22 AM

With characteristic hubris
WAV calls us his WAVoholics,
when all we're trying to point out
his poetry is bollix*




*I make no claims to having any poetic ability myself.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 09:28 AM

Steinbeck's estate will be suing you for even mentioning his work in one of your horrendous pieces of tripe. Now go ask mummy to give you that tongue-in-bung thing you like so much as soon as she's done blowing the yak. Be nice now.....Your mummy works very hard.

Spaw

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Ruth Archer
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 02:28 PM

Joe, please tell me that was some sort of competition, and not simply composed in a Nigella-like food rapture...

Love the response!

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 02:58 PM

Of Mice and Men
The truth just sqeaks
Its mortal grasp in peril
As poets write
All through the night
And mourn the Edmund Fitzgerald
While down the hall the bugler drools
His winding tale untold
And there are no tales inside the Gates of Eden

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 03:08 PM

But there are tails...

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: GUEST,Joseph P
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 03:32 PM

I'm afraid my poem was the result of hours of boredom at work. I was delighted at the response, it was most serendipitous!

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: s&r
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 06:36 PM

Bet it gets PUBLISHED in their house magaZine...

Stu

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Oct 08 - 06:45 PM

The loath but lithesome
Lounger stands
His dagger in his hand
Accosting Vestal Virgins
Whom his words cannot command
His lonely voice it echoes
Like a harpstring in the rain
And there are no words inside the Gates of Eden

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 07:16 AM

"Bet it gets PUBLISHED in their house magaZine..."(Stu)..and/or why not look out for the like of a poetry slam or even a "Bare Knuckle Poetry Slam", like the one I'm participating in tonight - see myspace, if you like.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: s&r
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 07:17 PM

in case you didn't know folks

"Slamming is funky
Slamming is fun
Slamming is for everyone
Slam poetry combines writing with drama, presentation and public speaking, to make poetry dynamic, accessible and fun.
The skills developed by writing and performing poetry are valuable communication techniques, essential in all areas of life - building confidence and self esteem."

Says it all


Stu

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 07:42 PM

Damn! If I was Wavylimpet, I'd stay away for sure. He recites his crap and someone whacks him up side the head with 2x4.....



Spaw

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 07:56 PM

Down nameless streets
The midnight crew
Loads rifles in the rain
Beside some faded ingenue
Now pale, who still remains
To testify with a solemn sigh
"I'd be glad to share your pain"
You'll find no pain inside the Gates of Eden.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Don Firth
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 09:27 PM

Okay, it's a slow day here at the skunk works, so why don't I give it a shot?

It's better to belch
And bear the shame
Than not to belch
And bear the pain!

Or how about

WAV had the ring,
He had the flat,
But she read his poems,
And that was that!

Don Firth (bowing like Henry Gibson on "Laugh In").

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Oct 08 - 11:44 PM

Wav's poems are crap
His thoughts are vile
The scansion is pathetic
Critique upon them
Is best done
When on a diuretic
When read aloud, one's head is bowed
His poems a strong emetic
They're just more shit
Behind the Gates of Eden


Spaw

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Oct 08 - 12:07 AM

Not bad, Spaw. A little crass and vulgar perhaps...but still not bad. ;-)

I think the Gates of Eden makes a marvelous framework for creating random new verses, don't you? I pity people who don't know that song, I really do. They're missing out badly.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Gervase
Date: 17 Oct 08 - 02:51 AM

A "bare knuckle poetry slam". Wow, that sounds so, like, edgy! Sure knocks the spots of extreme ironing and pro-celebrity macrame.
It needs the skills of a John Cooper-Clarke to really rip the pretentious tits off such an absurd concept.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Gervase
Date: 17 Oct 08 - 02:55 AM

From the bard of Salford I offer some real English poetry:

Like a Night Club in the morning, you're the bitter end.
Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you're clean round the bend.
You give me the horrors
too bad to be true
All of my tomorrow's
are lousy coz of you.
You put the Shat in Shatter
Put the Pain in Spain
Your germs are splattered about
Your face is just a stain

You're certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.
Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.

You're like a dose of scabies,
I've got you under my skin.
You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.
I'd consider killing you if I thought you were alive.
You've got this slippery quality,
it makes me think of phlegm,
and a dual personality
I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.
Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.
Like a death a birthday party,
you ruin all the fun.
Like a sucked and spat our smartie,
you're no use to anyone.
Like the shadow of the guillotine
on a dead consumptive's face.
Speaking as an outsider,
what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.
He recommended suicide...
before scratching your bad name off his list,
and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.
You're heading for a breakdown,
better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.
Your attitudes are platitudes,
just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you
Was is some kind of bat
They can't find a good word for you,
but I can...
TWAT.

Or there's:
make a date with the brassy brides of britain
the altogether ruder readers' wives
who put down their needles and their knitting
at the doorway to our dismal daily lives
the fablon top scenarios of passion
nipples peep through holes in leatherette
they seem to be saying in their fashion
'I'm freezing charlie - haven't ya finished yet?'

cold flesh the colour of potatoes
in an instamatic living room of sin
all the required apparatus
too bad they couldn't fit her head in

in latex pyjamas with bananas going ape
their identities are cunningly disguised
by a six-inch strip of insulation tape
strategically stuck across their eyes

wives from inverness to inner london
prettiness and pimples co-exist
pictorially wife-swapping with someone
who's happily married to his wrist

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: Gervase
Date: 17 Oct 08 - 03:03 AM

Or there's this, to puncture WAV's love for his favourite newspaper:

I've seen the poison letters of the horrible hacks
about the yellow peril and the reds and the blacks
and the tuc and its treacherous acts
kremlin money – all right jack
I've seen how democracy is under duress
but I've never seen a nipple in the Daily Express

I've seen the suede jack boot the verbal cosh
whitehouse whitelaw whitewash
blood uptown where the vandals rule
classroom mafia scandal school
they accuse – I confess
I've never seen a nipple in the Daily Express

Angry colums scream in pain
love in vain domestic strain
divorce disease it eats away
the family structure day by day
in the grim pursuit of happiness
I've never seen a nipple in the Daily Express

You want a dissection of Englishness, WAV? You're not fit to hold a candle to JCC.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: GUEST,His Brother's Brother
Date: 17 Oct 08 - 05:51 AM

#6 Sweet Dreams

Last night I had the strangest dream, I do not lie, e.g.,
Whilst my English helix a-watering,
All immigrants took up the battle-cry-
FROM NOW ON, e.g., and moved back home,
To practise their Own Good Culture
And leave my Morris to such as I.

I do not dance it, myself,
But others should,
For when lost is culture good,
Society surely suffereth.

And, further, in my dream,
My very own Good English Dream,
Mr. Carthy, Martin, sending his guitar to Spain,
An English Cittern did accquire,
Musicians, followed suit, never did they tire,
To Greece bouzoukis went, a significant cultural gain,
And little organs sounded on England's Fair and Pleasent Green,
Again.

"Our roast is our boast; not foreign curree,"
Said our Own Good English delegate, echoing me.
Against capitalist migration, the UN did decree,
Which prospect filled my own good self with glee.

'Multiculturalism is fallen, is fallen, is fallen,'
The bells (all closely associated with England) did toll,
'Multiculturalism is fallen, to rise no more.'
Women gave up tennis, put the kettle on,
For tea, naturally,
And none cared for to sing in harmonee.

I woke up,
Much the sadder,
   On pottage did sup,
Then my heart turned gladder,
                  For I now knew,
                   That the way forward,
                              For humanity,
                                 Nothing could stop.

Subject: RE: The Weekly Walkabout (part 2.)
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 17 Oct 08 - 06:24 AM

"Slamming is funky
Slamming is fun
Slamming is for everyone
Slam poetry combines writing with drama, presentation and public speaking, to make poetry dynamic, accessible and fun." (Stu)
'A "bare knuckle poetry slam". Wow, that sounds so, like, edgy! Sure knocks the spots of extreme ironing and pro-celebrity macrame.
It needs the skills of a John Cooper-Clarke to really rip the pretentious tits off such an absurd concept.' (Gervase)...yes - I think he was mentioned and the winner - with material something like your's - was passionate, animated, modern-Americanish, and swore like a bullocky, as Stu's quote (from someone?) suggests.
And the night was minus any such time-honoured toast as - "the roast is our boast" (Brother)!...but, having been knocked-out, 7 votes to 3, by quite an attractive Rasta and her poem of lllllllove, will WAV turn up to suchlike again, and give readings of poems such as "A Bayswater Bedsit" (43) and "Global Regulationism" (105), yes...