Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 11 Jun 07 - 07:11 PM

Did his/her 100 post get deleted.

I'm sure I saw it earlier.

Probably got filtered out as a "Guest" only posting.

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 02:56 AM

News has come through that we will be visited at Blitherscrum this year by a bitter old journalist who walks around with head up a... and has chips on both shoulders...how true is this?..watch this space!
I feel we have been fortunate to not have any swearing on this thread as yet althouth our friend Spartiiiicus did use the c... word..hope this is not a sign on thread decay ot the "Collapse of the Blitherscrum Festival"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 05:17 AM

Breaking news Margaret Beckett is coming in her caravan and will serenade us with her version of 'Kumbayah' on her woolies nylon strung guitar

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,NFA
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 06:13 AM

As the official Blitherscum government appointed Carbon footprint monitor and mow government spokesperson (a quick promotion for those of you with keen eyes) I would just like to confirm that neither Margaret nor ANY member of the government will be attending the festival. It is our policy that allowing ministers to meet with the general public (this just about includes folkies) is dangerous and would only confuse any politician attending. Tony Blair ignored this rule and look what happened.


       As the official Blitherscum government appointed Carbon footprint monitor and now government spokesperson (a quick promotion for those of you with keen eyes) I would just like to confirm that neither Margaret nor ANY member of the government will be attending the festival. It is our policy that allowing ministers to meet with the general public (this just about includes folkies) is dangerous and would only confuse any politician attending. Tony Blair ignored this rule and look what happened.

PS.    I notice that on this communication you are spelling Blitherscum differently............... on your official "application to gather more than four people in one place at the same time" form it is spelt Blitherscum. We are now considering what action to take a punishment. A committee has been formed and we have selected John Leonard to plead your case so you are in safe hands.
   Notification of the committee's findings will be sent as soon as they have resolved the issue.

Regards

The Naked civil serpent

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,NFA
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 06:16 AM

My appologies, I seem to have developed a writing stutter!!!


As the official Blitherscum government appointed Carbon footprint monitor and now government spokesperson (a quick promotion for those of you with keen eyes) I would just like to confirm that neither Margaret nor ANY member of the government will be attending the festival. It is our policy that allowing ministers to meet with the general public (this just about includes folkies) is dangerous and would only confuse any politician attending. Tony Blair ignored this rule and look what happened.

PS.    I notice that on this communication you are spelling Blitherscum differently............... on your official "application to gather more than four people in one place at the same time" form it is spelt Blitherscum. We are now considering what action to take a punishment. A committee has been formed and we have selected John Leonard to plead your case so you are in safe hands.
   Notification of the committee's findings will be sent as soon as they have resolved the issue.

Regards

The Naked civil serpent


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 06:16 AM

Are you suffering from Thread Decay? Stop it in its tracks now with Wefts Improved Thread Restorer (By Appointment to HM Queen Barbara of Mercia).

Remove ugly shoulder chips with Murphy's Skin Tonic (By Appointment to HM King Edward).

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 06:20 AM

It looks as though we may have a "guest" appearing to give us a rendition of that all time favourite (not)Child Ballad "Young Hunting".

Will there be a session/singaround programmed in as an alternative?

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 06:42 AM

GUEST,NFA

"application to gather more than four people in one place at the same time"

I hadn't realised that this was a metaphysical festival. How many Blitherscrummers can dance on a pinhead?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 07:17 AM

"How many Blitherscrummers can dance on a pinhead?"

25

Although members of the flea circus morris team feel they could probably dance bean setting on two pins; one for the dancers and one for the musicians.

Yes, Sparticus did claim the 100th post after my invitation and stated that there were no hard feelings. A pity this was deleted. Perhaps the mudcat fairy could put it back?

Best wishes,

Peter

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 10:56 AM

Guest NFA, you are nearer the truth than you think when mentioning Blitherscum for in fact that is the name generally used by the townsfolk of Upton Ogood (a neighbouring village)to describe Blitherscrumians. This is thought to date back to the early years of the 17th Century and the Turnip "Wars". Root vegetables are a touchy subject in those parts even now.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 11:02 AM

"a touchy subject in those parts even now."

Oh my word yes!!

Touching on Roots music is dangerous too.

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 12:10 PM

That explains a lot...an old friend of mine from Blitherscrum said he was moving back home to his roots.......
Getting near to Festival now so I hope you guys are prepared for an exciting time.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 12:19 PM

"moving back home to his roots."

Yes that would auld Gaarge who came home just in time for muck spreading ( by Eddie baker? ) and turmit 'oein'.

"the vly,the vly the vly be on me turmit"

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 12:25 PM

Was auld Gaarge the one who misunderstood the rules for the amusingly shaped vegetable competition and entered because he had a willy shaped like a turnip?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 01:03 PM

"because he had a willy shaped like a turnip?"

Yes but his wife (and she should know) explained things to the judges who said they couldn't see what Gaarge had got wrong, awarded him first prize and pinned a rossette on it.

Dave
ps his eyes have stopped watering know.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 05:35 PM

Well that's a turn up for the books asa they say. As they pinned it on ...what did they say? Just a little .....!
His wife never even twigged on what he meant all those years when he said he was going to plant his turnip..........
Whilst on the subject of turnips..what happened to spartiiicus?
or is it cabbage?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 12 Jun 07 - 08:49 PM

"or is it cabbage?"

Tis curly kale,boiled parsnips a girt dish o' taters a lump of fatty bacon and MY pint of good ale.

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 02:41 AM

I hope you are going to sing that at the Festival...one of my favourites Dave. When a large contingent of folkies are together and all harmonising....great. Almost like being on this thread!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 03:28 AM

In case I don't get the opportunity to un at the Festival here be the words:-

GLORIOUS ALE

cho:
Ale, Ale, Glorious Ale
Served up in pewter it tells its own tale,
Some folks like radishes
Some curleye kale
But give I boiled parsnips
And a great dish of taters
And a lump of fatty bacon
And a pint of good ale

When I was a young man my father did say,
Zummer's a-coming tis time to make hay.
Now when hay is carted don't you never fail.
To drink gaffer's health in a pint of good ale.

Now our MP's in parliament, our safety to keep
Now we hope now we've put un there, he won't sit and sleep
But they'll all have my vote if they never fail
To keep down the price of a pint of good ale

These are the words as I remember them from the other Festival wot I goes too.

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,MC Fat
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 05:30 AM

Ale, Ale, Glorious Ale
Served up in pewter it tells its own tale,
Some folks like pottery
Some folks like glass
But give I a pint of bitter
That's served up in Plastic
And you can shove it up your ar*e

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 08:41 AM

Dave, haven't I heard you singing that song at Towelsea or was it in the Muddle Bar or maybe the Wailham Where? So many places, so much beer, so few brain cells !!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 09:07 AM

Thank'ee ver they wurds, tiz summat speshul that ther zong, speshully wen tiz zung way a Deb'mshur accent.
Ken 'ee tell as I wus born and braed een Deb'm me dears. Shure as I be a zittin' yer frunna me cumputer.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Mr Happy
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 09:30 AM

To the organisers of Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007, I wish to complain that since publicity for this event has materialised, the local Anagramaticists Association have pounced on your title and produced detrimental compositions which are seriously damaging my personal and business credibility in the area.

If you do not change the name of the event, I will be placing the matter in the hands of my solicitors.

Yours faithfully,


Oliver Truffles, Blacksmith

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:09 AM

Brilliant..love it!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 11:48 AM

Local amateur meteorologist Darnley Sokkes has predicted fine weather over the festival period after a long consultation with his seaweed and pine cones. Unfortunately he has no way of knowing in which part of the country this weather will be.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 12:20 PM

I just asked the Meteorological office where the weather will be over the Festival period and they confirmed that weather will be everywhere. The did however say that there will be wind at the Festival...as Penny Wissell is coming and there could also be thunder and lightening because two bodhran players are also attending from the Met office. They make a lot of noise and enjoy sparking off each other.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Mingulay
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 03:43 PM

"enjoy sparking off each other"

Sounds as though they're early for the Blitherscrum Erotic Fest which, of course, is not until Octember (according to the publicity leaflet I found in the bus shelter and had to carefully peel from the wall).

As a sweetener the Committee are sending two free tickets for the Saturday night Concert to Oliver Truffles and his partner Porcine O'Sercha. They have also sent some of the boys round to the Anagramatists to "tell them their future".

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 03:52 PM

By coincidence, The Anagramatists is the name of one of the ceilidh bands. They will intrigue the dancers with their unusual versions of familiar tunes. They play all the right notes, just in a different order.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 04:02 PM

The anagramatists...is that Tunc, Fynna, Cripk and Speni?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 04:09 PM

No, I think you're confusing them with BaBa. Good grief! They're not there as well are they? Remember their grate hit Portaloo?
Talking of which, what are the facilities going to be like this year?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 05:57 PM

I think the facilities were sort of covered briefly earlier in the thread.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: The Barden of England
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 06:07 PM

Ah so, those wonderful songs 'Super Pooper' and 'Will you smell tonight Elsano?' are going to rear their ugly 'Head' I see. Sure beats raw Aloe Vera!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 06:23 PM

Definitely just a 'flash in the pan' or we would all be driven 'round the bend'......we used to call a mate 'Harpic' because he was clean round the bend.....sorry I'll get my coat!
Best wishes, MIke.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 13 Jun 07 - 08:04 PM

Mingulay (Les me old pal me old beauty)

I have been present during the singing of Glorious Ale any number of times and so many festivals that you may have thought I have led the song.

However I have to confess that it is usually led by another of my Middle Bar mates and I just bellow out the chorus. I know the song but leave it to Tone to start it off.

See you at Alcester?

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Splott Man
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 03:56 AM

I'm definitely going to the ceilidh with Pooping Tim with Mike Hunt calling.
I like his version of Wives of Tony, and his Cumberland Square Sausage is a sight to behold.
But watch out for the Sarcastic Circle.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 04:37 AM

Dave, this is Pete, Les nicked my name for his CD just because he used to be a dabtoe and ship's diver on the good vessel.By the way, there is no way he can be called a beauty old or otherwise. Maybe you were thinking of Les but envisaging Carys!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Mick Tems
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 04:53 AM

Tales that a bunch of Howells' Angels were setting off from Pontypridd, astride their huge Choppers, and were intent on breaking up the festival have been dismissed as just another ugly rumour.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Splott Man
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 06:08 AM

I used to have an ugly roomer when I was in college.


I think The Anagramatists' favourite dances are Nowballs and Quare Unscrambled 8.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Mick Tems
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 06:25 AM

Excuse me, but aren't you one of that two bloody cheerful duo Leg Clamp and Cow Pat?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: TheSnail
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 06:40 AM

Wim Willips from Dresden will be there, selling his famous Inflatable fiddles. They sold so fast last year that many customers complained they couldn't get enough Saxon Violins.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 08:10 AM

Mingulay.

Sorry Pete got it wrong again.

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Waddon Pete
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 11:03 AM

Inflatable fiddles become weapons of mass destruction if you try to play "The Hen's March to the Midden".......

By the by....at the Outsbrook Folk Soiree Wim Willips was raised into the air by a sudden gust of wind and was last seen, wailing faintly, as he disappeared into the stratosphere. If you find the card from round his neck you might win a prize!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 11:43 AM

By jove, is Outsbrook still going? I was last there 1952. Left just after 8 o'clock and haven't been back since. Tempus sure does fugit at times.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Mr Happy
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 12:30 PM

Christoffel, Kimball, & Turves [Legal Eagles]

To the organisers of Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007, we are giving notice that for the reasons of distress experienced by Oliver Truffles, Blacksmith of OTT Workshops & reinforced by a recent letter from Vic Keller, Turboshaft Films; we have no option but to request that you as a body desist from using this particular combination of letters to promote your function.

Yours truly,

Kimball, Christoffel, & Turves

Cc

Vic Keller, Turboshaft Films
Oliver Truffles, Blacksmith

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 01:42 PM

I am sure this is the first ever legal action concerned with the Blitherscrum Folk Festival...although there have been an extraorinary amount of illegal ones at each Festival........ Eddie Baker has been informed and has promised to spread his own bit of good news amongst all the staff at Kimball,Christoffel & Turves.
It has been noted that Shanty Festivals are reaching their demise, so at Blitherscrum this year we will be truly honoured to have Shanty singers to carry on the tradition. It was also noted that Folk Clubs are collapsing so we have suggested starting a 'bricks and mortar' fund to replace them if they do.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Dave Earl
Date: 14 Jun 07 - 01:55 PM

"there have been an extraorinary amount of illegal ones at each Festival.."

Who was it spilt the beans?

(it made a right old mess in my tent and I want to know who to send the cleaning bill to)

Dave

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 02:49 AM

How many beans in a baked bean can?
How many beans in a can?
The answer my friend, is Blowin' in the wind,
The answer is blowin' in the wind.

Sung last year by Robbie Dylon.......colourful character who sings songs to 'dye' for.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: villandeleted
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 03:30 AM

Hot off the press

Villan will be holding a workshop for all hairy arsed, bearded morris men.

The workshop is called Cloning of Jake the peg - Rolf Harris style.

It is hoped that we can get 1 million morris dancers going out on the streets of England at the same time and all dancing Jake the peg style to get in the guinness Book Of Records.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 08:01 AM

In order to more accurately reflect the times we live in and to acknowledge current technology, the Guinness Book of Records will now be known as the Guinness Book of CD's. The trial run of the Guinness Book of Tapes just didn't measure up!

Environmentalists are up in arms about the prospect of 1 million sticks being cut for the event fearing the deforestation of some parts of the country.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival 2007
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 15 Jun 07 - 09:04 AM

That's interesting...the Blitherscrum Folk Festival site has a perimiter fence with 150 posts.......