Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur

Subject: Song Chall: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 01:47 AM

http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,23987888-29277,00.html?from=public_rss


Accused teddy bear voyeur in court

July 08, 2008 01:37pm
Article from: AAP

A MAN accused of spying on his female flatmate with a camera hidden in a teddy bear made a brief appearance in court today.

Russell Christopher Hounslow, 22, was not required to plead to charges of using an optical device to record a private activity and possessing an obscene article when he appeared in Perth Magistrates Court.

Police allege that in April, Mr Hounslow's 21-year-old flatmate found a camera inside a teddy bear on her bedside table and discovered it was linked to a video cassette recorder.

Magistrate Stephen Malley renewed bail and adjourned the case to August 5 after Mr Hounslow's lawyer said he did not have a copy of the video record of his client's police interview.

~~~~~~~~~~~

If you walk round in your flat today,
Be sure you're wearing your clothes...
If your boyfriend gave you a teddy bear,
Whatever you do suppose...

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: pavane
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:20 AM

Just a suggestion:
For the definitive guitar accompaniment, Nic Jones
(on 'In search of Nic Jones', I think.)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: pavane
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 11:21 AM

Arrangement, I meant

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Bert
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 12:01 PM

"Who's been sleeping in MY bed?"

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 02:19 PM

Todays the day you might have your teddy bears 'Flick' nicked.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 09:47 PM

Bert

Actually, in this case, it's more of a case of

"who's been spying in my bedroom"...

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Artful Codger
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 02:38 AM

If you go into your room today
You'll never believe your eyes;
If you go into your room today
You're in for a big surprise!

Those toys aren't only there to adorn:
They're taping you and wired for porn;
Today's the day your boyfriend's off to the big nick.

Twenty years for teddybears,
Those cuddly teddybears, they're videotaping your affairs!
Propped up in their favorite chairs,
They have a front row seat to spy on you in your underwear.
See the sparkle in their eyes,
It's just the camera lenses trained on your sexy thighs!
At twelve o'clock, they catch every moan
As you're pleasuring yourself
Because they're lewd, creepy teddybears.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 02:44 AM

ROFL!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 06:19 PM

With apologies to Jerry Lieber and Mike Stoller (not to mention Elvis):

Teddy Bear Cam

Baby let me see -
I'm your lovin' Teddy Bear.
With this cam inside my tum,
I'll film your 'everywhere' -
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear.

Baby let me hang around you every night,
Scan your unexplored domains
And zoom in close and tight.
Just show it all
For your teddy bear.

I don't want to go on trial,
'Cause juries may be rough.
I wasn't really a lyin',
All I did was film
You in the buff.

Just let me see, I'm your Teddy Bear.
Prop me up beside your bed
So I'll watch your everywhere.
Oh let me be
Your teddy bear.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 07:42 PM

Well done...

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jul 08 - 08:57 PM

Excellent, Codger!
(Dare I surmise you have experience in such areas? *g*)

G

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Genie
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 02:38 AM

OK, Codger, you obviously nicked the most obvious parodiable [is that a word?] song for this challenge, and a great job it was.

I've tried to do my own take on The Teddy Bear's Picnic (tune from ca. 1907 and lyrics from ca. 1932), without looking back at yours, so I really have no idea how much we may have overlapped.

Here goes nothin'!

TEDDY BEARS' CHICK FLIC
(lyric molestation and mutilation by Genie)

When you uncover your goods today you're in for a big surprise,
You're lovely showing your goods todaym but somebody's in disguise.
Yes, ev'ry perv that's surfing the net
Is peeking thru your curtains, you bet!
Today's the day the teddy bears shoot their chick flic!


Chorus: 
    
Peeping time for teddy bears, 
    
The little teddy bears are filming your lovely parts today. 
    
They catch you sans your underwear,
And post the vids on You Tube and eBay!

They film you as you gad about, 
    
Record your play and shouts, 
    
And everything else you share. 
    
At six o'clock your roomie and buddies 
    
Will take them to be read, 
    
Because they're wired little teddy bears.


    

If you should pleasure your goods today, 
    
You're probably not alone. 
    
You think you're out of the woods today, 
    
Because you are safe at home.

    
But ev'ry bear up there on your shelf
Will gather footage for unto itself --
Today your roommate's shooting to please his joy stick.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Artful Codger
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 03:25 AM

Genie: Experience in writing doggerel verse? Yes, I have a little.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 05:50 AM

How much is that teddy in the window?
The one with the camera inside.
How much is that teddy in the window?
I do hope its vision is wide.
I want it to film my pretty flatmate,
As she removes her underwear.
I'll store it on a handy little video,
That me and my mates can all share.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 06:34 AM

GS - a different approach... :-)

Genie - tears in my eyes... :-)

"Today's the day the teddy bears shoot their chick flic!
Chorus: 
   
Peeping time for teddy bears, "

ROFL...

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: GUEST,Ursa minimus
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 10:26 AM

The tune's moronic enough, but I've often wondered who the hell would bother making such a god-awful set of asinine, puerile, twee, kitsch, utterly pointless set of words to go with it.

Been waiting to get that off my tits for years.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Artful Codger
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 03:53 PM

Something tells me that Ursa minimus slaughtered his children at birth, and sautéed them in a Burgundy sauce.


Genie: Does "chick flick" have a different meaning in your parts than here? In these parts, a chick flick features a relative with a terminal illness, or romance overcoming a god-awful set of asinine, puerile, twee, kitsch, utterly pointless obstacles. At Guantanamo they probably show "Terms of Endearment" and "Notting Hill" right after the waterboarding.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Genie
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 06:08 PM

No, Artful, it means the same thing here, in normal parlance.* I was just trying to put a new spin on an old term.    I mean, a "girlie movie" is one with a lot of scantily (if at all) clad young women romping about, not one designed to appeal to girls, right? And "chick" is another word for "girl" (as in calling young women "girls").   
Sue me.

(Maybe I should have said "a d_ck flic?" ) ; D

G


*Here, a "chick flick" is any movie that's mainly aimed at a female audience -- the ones women usually have to drag their hubbies and boyfriends to.   It doesn't necessarily feature overcoming "a god-awful set of asinine, puerile, twee, kitsch, utterly pointless" obstacles. ("A god-awful set of asinine, puerile, twee, kitsch, utterly pointless" lyrics describes most "children's songs" -- e.g., Teddy Bears' Picnic.)   It can be merely very mushy and romantic.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 10 Jul 08 - 06:46 PM

"chic flick" - can depend on context - but in Aus means what it sounds like with 'voyeur'... :-)

"such a god-awful set of asinine, puerile, twee, kitsch, utterly pointless set of words"

Loved it when I was 4 - never grown up I suppose... :-) one IS peurile when only 4... :-P

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Genie
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 03:19 PM

With apologies to Kenny Loggins:

THE CAM IN POOH'S NOGGIN
(based on The House At Pooh Corner, by Kenny Loggins
From the album: Sittin' In (Columbia)


Christopher Hounslow alone stalked his room-
mate with young limbs lit up by the moon.
Posing so innocently, so unaware
Of the cam'ra, she entered her room.
Yes, he ventured much further this way than he should,
Just to pick up the slack of his wee, aching wood.

Heaven help you!   You have got to get

back at your roomie and clobber his buns!

You'd be surprised at the foul deeds he's done -

Now ev'ry inch of your hide's

Gazed at by his horny eyes!

Oh, the foul ways of Christopher Hounslow and Pooh!

Winnie the Pooh, don't ya know he'll view you? -

Got a honey cam stuck in his nose.

Your flatmate used him to help with his vice

And from here who knows how far he'll go?
You should kick, curse and belt him till you make him share
How to get that damn cam from the nose of a bear! Oh,

We'll help you if we can, you've got to get

back at that lewd creepy son of a gun!

You'd be surprised at the foul deeds he's done -

Now ev'ry inch of your hide's
Viddied for his leering eyes!

Oh, the foul ways of Christopher Hounslow,
He's got to pay, that guy Christopher Hounslow,
Oh, the betrayal by Pooh!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 05:45 PM

Robin-

It's hard to resist this challenge even though I've been ignoring this thread all week:

If you go down in the bush today,
You may not realize,
Locking the door is not enough
When Teddy is streaming live;

And you'll surely feel just like a boob,
When you and your sweetie star on U-Tube --
Today's the day you'll wish you were in the library!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 15 Jul 08 - 07:26 PM

ROFL...

Just knew I'd drag in most of the 'regulars'... :-0

If yo gonna FISH, yo need GOOD BAIT... :-0

I'm thinking of assembling the best bits with a few half baked ideas of my own, when I get A ROUND TUIT...

:-)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Artful Codger
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 04:52 AM

And some of us irregulars, too. (Must be my Irritable Bovine Syndrome.)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 16 Jul 08 - 05:30 AM

or Inquisitive Bear Syndrome
??

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Teddy Bear Voyeur
From: Charley Noble
Date: 19 Jul 08 - 11:26 AM

refreshed for those who have missed or ignored this thread.

Charley Ignoble