Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 09:17 AM

The Cloakroom for those who wish to leave items of over clothing will be manned this year again by our two Asian friends Mahatma Coat and Mayum Brela

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 08:55 AM

Maureen Myjobsworth is a good person to have on the door for any event... except, of course, that she makes it a rule never to let people get in.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 08:01 AM

Kika Mout doesn't take any nonsense and might be available.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:59 AM

or cod pieces?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:55 AM

does that mean the chippie won't be serving pollock either?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:35 AM

Anyway, to get back to the serious business of the Festival.... The fish and chip shop will not be serving peas this year as the word 'peas' is no longer PC..... It sounds too much like pees.
We are still looking for Stewards for this years event.... so far we have only three only...Jo King Will Guidum... and E Jectum........ Jo King has been around the Blitherscrum Festival for a number of years and always gets a good laugh.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:28 AM

Aren't THE ALBUMEN BAND reforming too

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 07:06 AM

Apparently the fringe is featuring the Spanners' tribute group "Steeleye Spanner"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 06:55 AM

Don't you just love traditional jokes!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 06:17 AM

Wasn't that the same nutters who killed two people at Blitherscrum TESCOs. Apparantly he was a hitman called Artie and he would top off people for a quid. This Blitherscrum resident wanted his wife bumped off so he shows Artie a photo of her and says she does the weekly shop every Thursday at TESCO. Artie follows her round and every time he tries to choke her there's someone around eventually she has nearly finished her shop so he just goes for it a throttles her but a till girl has noticed so as he flees he strangles her too the headline that time was ARTIE CHOKES TWO FOR A POUND AT TESCO

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 05:43 AM

These comments just reminded me of what happened at Blitherscrum about four months ago.... A patient from the 'Special Unit' at the local Mental Hospital escaped, went into Blitherscrum Laundrette, raped three women and ran off. The headlines in the following days Blitherscrum Guardian were "Nut screws washers and bolts"!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 05:26 AM

Love the spanners do the Irish washer woman, though not sure is suitable for a mixed gathering.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: MC Fat
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 02:57 AM

David's wife Monkey will possibly be a guest member in the support group Jock's Trap

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Jul 10 - 02:11 AM

I agree... some nut always seems to screw things up a bit.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 07:23 PM

Let's keep this British I find American threads tend to be awkward.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 02:06 PM

I think David is actually in a home at the moment... having trouble getting a grip on life I heard.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 01:17 PM

Is it true that the Welsh singer David Wrench is the support act on the Spanners' concert?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 01:12 PM

I really hope that the Spanners do reform for Blitherscrum. I love their version of "Turn, Turn Again".

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 12:59 PM

Jack, one of the Old Folks Home Sword team. sings "Zimmer time, and the Living is Easy" whilst they perform... gotta be worth a watch.
Also one of the residents.. a woman rides a motorcycle... a Vincent I think. She suffers highly from Blood Pressure so they nicknamed her 'Red Molly'

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 07:38 AM

The SAGA Mobility Scooter Morris Side are also thinking of performing. Along with The Blitherscrum Old Folks Home Zimmer Sword Team just how they intertwine those zimmers without falling over is amazing.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 07:34 AM

I heard that they are a great turn!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 07:08 AM

Rumour has it that the Spanners are to reform for the event

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 06:58 AM

The committee have informed me that Willam McTell... (the Folk singer who shoots apples off his sons head with bow and arrow) will be performing for us... at Blitherscrum this year.   It has been decided that see through tents,,, such as that used by that gorgeous blonde last year are to be banned this year as the noise from some of the men watching her get ready for bed kept their wives awake.
Still open to suggestions for a few more performers and anything we can do to make it a happier festival... It has become better each year so far, let's keep it up!.. if you pardon the expression!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 06:57 AM

Breaking News that Stanley Knives are sponsoring the Bodhran Championships. The Pick Your Own Bodhran service will be sponsored by Moor and Coast who will have two new lines on the menu Goat Curry and Kebabs

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 10:40 PM

Football?
WasssSaaAaaat?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 01:06 PM

Oh No don't talk about football.. I put my England shirt to dry on the outside line last night... and this morning I found the pegs had been stolen!!!!
Not only that... I expected that heavy fall of rain last night... I heard that a right shower was coming from Africa.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 10:25 AM

That's a harmonious blend of 4/4/2 and 4/3/3 of course. Or it may just have been a typing error.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 10:16 AM

Damn, everyone knows we are better at 4/4/3

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 10:07 AM

All trad football chants/songs to be in 4/2 time or 4/1

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 09:36 AM

Latest news just in.... Fabio Capello phoned the head of the committee and asked "Can you manage"?... The head replied "No way!! It's your mess get yourself out of it!!!"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 08:37 AM

I hear his next CD will include those old favourites "Blow the Nan down " and "Bring us a Bhalti"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 08:33 AM

though I quite liked "All around my Chaat"!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 08:24 AM

and I didn't much care for "Paperback Raitha"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 08:22 AM

Hope he won't need Keema therapy!
Not sure I was enamoured of the track "Sagaloo..loo...loo"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 07:56 AM

I had heard he had just invented a new curry dish called a Tarka it's sort of like a Tikka but a little 'otter

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 07:43 AM

Sorry but Gerupta was rushed unconscious to hospital last night.. he had been injecting liquified curry powder.... Latest news suggests "He's still in a Korma'

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 07:19 AM

...and a bonus track, Korma Chameleon

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 06:59 AM

The famous Indian Bollywood star GERUPTA SINGH may make an appearance promoting his new album Curry-Oke Favourites. There all there: Tears on My Pillau, Chapati's Over, Papadom Preach, Dhansak On The Ceiling, I Love a Lhassie, Roti to Hell, Don't Karai For Me Argentina, You Can Keep Your Chat On, Mama We're All Jalfrezi Now, You Can't Curry Love..........

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 06:55 AM

Sorry!
Is his Nan performing too?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 06:54 AM

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 06:30 AM

Blitherscrum welcomes Johnny Adams who is going to be performing with his father..... Pop Adam

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 04:04 AM

ROFLOL @ McFat... that had me roaring.. "The Curries and Chapati Bell" so funny!!!!

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: MC Fat
Date: 29 Jun 10 - 03:15 AM

Have you managed to get Chapati Bell as well

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Vic Smith
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 04:20 PM

"The Curries"? Aren't they the ones that sing that song about the Travellers going to the Blairgowrie fruit fields to pick the berry-anis.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 01:22 PM

Apparently we have succeeded in getting the Scottish Asian group "The Curries" to head the final concert...... Also those madheads the Muck Almonds in support.

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,MC Fat (at work)
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 07:00 AM

I thought they were called the Roarin Fairies Geoff

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 06:07 AM

How about booking that great harmony group
"The Cook Boys and Simpsons" or the equally talented "Martin ,Wind and Reed" or the shanty singing cowboys "The Young Guns" or that drunken bundh of Northerners "Jim McGin and the Keel overs"
I could always put in a word for "The Farting Roaries"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,old git
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 05:54 AM

Gail
You could take away the celebratory CD as a memento. It contains such songs as "Sound of Silence", "Silent Night" , "All things are quite silent.." "The(un)quiet grave" , "Silence is golden", ...and..as they say...many others. There may even be a special rendition of Tom Lehrer's "Silent E"

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: GUEST,Gail
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 05:47 AM

Sorry, me again. You'll have guessed by now that my main interest is in cack-handed dexterity (improvers level).

Just one last question before I order my tickets. Where does the committee stand on sitting down? Can we lie around on picnic blankets or do we have to perch naked on other people's shoulders?

Subject: RE: Blitherscrum Folk Festival are GO!
From: Tim Leaning
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 05:05 AM

I prefer the whole goat method.
you just fasten a goat to a wooden frame and beat it wiv a stick...