BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???

Subject: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Sep 10 - 10:51 PM

Okay, I was wonderin' about folks and thinkin' that maybe I ain't been pullin' my weight up their in Highbrowville so before I swear to post on any farm animals that get punched thread I thought that maybe a little poll might be in order so:

1. If you had to say how many words you post up there 'er here in Loonieville what would the percentages look like???

2. Tell us what you know about farm animals??? Blue Clickies perfectly okay...

3. And the all important question, In the words of Tom Robbins in "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" , "If a hen and half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half then how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?"...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Amos
Date: 09 Sep 10 - 11:19 PM

Me, about 20% high, 80% low. As for farm animals, I have met a few, and I know things about them their mopthers would not want me to reveal.


As for the monkey, I think it must be about 39.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Sep 10 - 11:27 PM

Damn liars, eh, Amos? :)

For me, the percentage of upper to lower level would probably wash out at 2% to 98 1/2% with some kind of margin of error. I do read a number of upper level threads but I rarely feel qualified to contribute.

Farm animals? More than about wild animals, I guess. Depends on the species. I know horses and dogs pretty well, not so much about cows and goats.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 01:03 AM

Chickens and Cows are dumb.

Goats and Pigs are smarter but not smart enough to post above the line.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 01:07 AM

I read a fair number of music threads above the line, but don't post often unless it's one of my favorite subjects or one I'm willing to do research on it to make a good contribution. And I answer lots of tech questions. I probably appear to spend most of my time below the line, though, content-wise.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 02:17 AM

I tend to use above the line for research but post if I feel I have something useful to say... below the line... mmmmm different story!!!!
With regard to animals... definitely not so much 'fowl' language above the line!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Slag
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 03:30 AM

I share the feeling Ebbie. Music I love but it remains a mysterious thing to me. My tastes are all over the map; just about anything but rap. There is a station around here in Northern California the plays native American music and chants. I love it. Classical, Rococo, Baroque, Gregorian Chants, Hard Rock, standard hymnal, Blues, folk, folk rock, jazz on and on but only certain pieces. Mahler escapes me for some reason but I understand he was a genius. OK. I've studied the subject but I've never fully understood it. And I play at the guitar, harmonica, ocarina. We wont discuss how well I play. Got pretty good on bongo drums when I was a kid. Mostly I read at the top and comment down here. The folks who hang above the line are so well-versed and intelligent (for the most part), I feel out of my league.

Now Bobert, who started this thing, I can relate to! Not a put down, Bobert but you speak my language.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: kendall
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 04:06 AM

I have no clue.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 04:23 AM

50/50

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: gnu
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 05:48 AM

Low/high on the high/low.

They're tastey.

Which leg?

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bettynh
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 07:53 AM

Bobert, as a Mac user with Safari I don't see any line at all. It took a trial run of Google Chrome to find out what the heck everyone else was talking about. That said, I read a lot of music threads, learn a lot and listen to some great music, but probably post mostly "below the line" (or is it above? BS, one way or the other.)

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 08:04 AM

I'm with SRS. I look over the 'above the line' threads, read a music one if the topic appeals, but mostly post in tech or in BS.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 10:10 AM

Whew!!! I'm feelin' a little better now... Not like a slacker... I mean, I do have a nice "blues" thread going but really not all that inclined to play in Highbrowville too much...

BTW, Cap't.... Are you clueless about all 3 questions??? I would have thought that you'd be all over #3...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 10:19 AM

I never, ever cross the line. One toke over and...oh, Sweet Jesus, you were talkin' about that other line.

I agree with Kendall.

I get along with all animals, unless they bite, sting, kick, eat, or otherwise annoy me.

42.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Becca72
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 10:41 AM

I'd say about 99.999% below the line.
I don't know much about farm animals, being a "city gal", or what qualifies as one in Maine...

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Ebbie
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 10:43 AM

Rap, three million of my greatest enemy is the no-seeum - they bite, sting, kick, eat, AND otherwise annoy me.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 11:19 AM

Sheep LIE!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: mkebenn
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 11:29 AM

80/20, much less contensious (sp?) above the line. I do read below, but my views are pretty main stream here, or I disagree so much that I figure someone is trolling. Don't have an oppinion on the monkey, and I eat most farm animals. Mike

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: ClaireBear
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 11:32 AM

1. Maybe 40% high, 60% low -- that's numbers of words, though, not numbers of posts ... I post much more down here, but song lyrics are generally loads wordier than snide quips and recipes.

2. Alpacas look even more ridiculous when they've been sheared than they do the rest of the time. (One of my neighbors raises them -- not I!)

3. A very short time, at least in geological terms.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 12:53 PM

12-15 years ago, I knew as much as 'many' posters up there^ and often answered questions. Now there are so many experts, that except for 'tech' questions about how to do something with a program, I am usually too late.

What I really know about farm animals doesn't go much beyond what I learned from "Old McDonald's Farm"


.....but I DO know that my father asked the question many years before Tom Robbins, "If a hen and half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half then how long would it take a cross-eyed grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?"...and everyone knows that grasshoppers, in general, have more chance of kicking seeds from a dill pickle, whereas a monkey would mostly just make a mess of the pickle!

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 05:27 PM

If we started talking about horses, wouldn't that mean the thread would be moved up above the line as soon as anyone mentioned their propensity to sing?

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 05:33 PM

Is that yer final answer, Amos???

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bill D
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 05:41 PM

It may be HIS final answer, but the sheep may say "baaahhhh"...

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Alice
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 05:50 PM

Before we had the BS section, I posted 100% above the line ;-)

I can see that my first mudcat postings are lost, but the first one still on record was in July 1997. There was no above or below then.
When did we start the BS section, in 2000?


Alice

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 06:30 PM

I think it might have been more like '02??? All I know is that when I came here in '01 there was no line...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Paul Burke
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 06:40 PM

(1) 100%, 100%
(2) Moo, baa, oink, cluck, quack, la la la.
(3) 1 acre farthing per month

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 11:21 PM

Bettynh: Go to your "Membership" page and near the bottom of the page you will see an option: "Mix Music & Non-music () Yes () No."

Do you see a different box checked when you use Safari than when you use Google Chrome? That's the only way I could understand you seeing the forum differently with different browsers.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: LadyJean
Date: 10 Sep 10 - 11:55 PM

I don't know that much about music, except that I have a good memory for song lyrics. Well, I have a good memory.

Now, as to farm animals; I know a guernsey from a holstein and a holstein from an angus and an angus from a brown swiss. (They're all cows.) My cousin John Caldwell rased champion brown swiss, no small feat for a man who couldn't see. So, I know that their milk has a richer fat content than other breeds'. I also know that as the spring comes and the snow melts, the Swiss drive their cattle higher up the mountains. (Right past the tourist hotel. They do not miss a trick.) I know that brown swiss fight each other, to choose an alpha cow.

I know, from visiting my sister's farm, that guinea fowl are the noisiest, stupidest, ugliest birds on the planet. That if you have more than one rooster they crow all day. That goats are aromatic, and very intelligent. If you neuter the male goats they will smell better, but not much better. I know that you can buy hatching eggs on ebay. But then you can find just about anything on ebay.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Slag
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 01:13 AM

Why would a sheep lie Amos?

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bettynh
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 04:38 AM

Jim, you're right! I think I'll leave them mixed, though. Maybe I'm just contrary. When I first got a computer (Apple IIGS, with a mouse!) it didn't have any directiions and it seemed wrong to leave that wire sticking out in front. So I first learned to use a mouse with mirror movements. Not a problem after a few games of brickout.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 07:13 AM

1. If you had to say how many words you post up there 'er here in Loonieville what would the percentages look like??? - about this much.

2. Tell us what you know about farm animals??? Blue Clickies perfectly okay... - Cows fart. Pigs don't sweat. Goats will eat anything, including washing off the line and small pieces of jewellery. They also smell. They smell BAAAAD. Actually, sheep say Baa, goats say Maa. Llamas spit and are grumpy bastards. Alpacas and Guanacos are sweeter tempered. Donkeys are intelligent and sweet and bloody minded, 'onery sumsabitches. Gorillas build nests every night to sleep in.

3. And the all important question, In the words of Tom Robbins in "Even Cowgirls Get the Blues" , "If a hen and half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half then how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?"... - is this before or after the pickle is a) taken out of the jar and b) eaten?

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Rapparee
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 10:22 AM

Iffen it helps, Bobert, I've been "below the salt" my whole life.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: GUEST,Lizzie Cornish
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 10:58 AM

I go above the line very rarely these days, for I've worked out it's where an awrful lot of wild animals live..Some of them may be from a Traditional Farm too I think, retroanimals with the manners of the pigshed.

It's much nicer down here and way more interesting. :0)

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 02:00 PM

Guinea fowl, because of their noisy habits, are often used as watch 'dogs'. They let no one in unannounced.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 02:22 PM

My ex wife said her grandmother had Guinea fowl, and that their prime characteristic was that they were so dumb, you had to watch them in bad weather, as they would stay out in rain & cold and freeze or drown if not protected.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 08:58 PM

Hey, ya'll, I am real disappointed by the answers to question #3... I mean, the other two questions I think people are doing real well with but, I donno about #3???

I ain't heard any good answers yet...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 09:36 PM

OK, I'll address it. Question #3: "If a hen and half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half then how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?"

It isn't phrased correctly. Besides, you don't say what kind of monk (I've had three of them). Makes a BIG difference.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: artbrooks
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 09:39 PM

Franciscan or Dominican?

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bobert
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 09:46 PM

Stallin' tactic, Eb... You know darned well that it don't much matter which kinda monky it is... Given that Congo's cousin has only one real leg then, hey??? No matter which monkey ya' got in the seed kickin' race, don't much matter 'cause accordin' to Dr. Rupert L. Limpon of the Minnesota Monkey Research Institute it would appear that all monkeys with wooden legs are fully capable of kickin' the lovin' crud outta kickin' seeds outta pickles... Eevn sweet pickles...

I mean, that's the way I see it, anyway...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: ragdall
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 09:46 PM

Bobert,

1. I post mainly below the line because I'm too ignorant to be able to participate in the music threads but, hey, anyone can have an opinion about BS, right?

2. I know nothing about farm animals except what I learned from singing "Old MacDonald Had a Farm". Wild animals, now, we've got lots of those around this neck of the woods. I know if it ain't still steaming, the bear ain't close enough to be a problem, unless it's a Grizzly. There's a way to tell black bear poop from Grizzly poop. Black bear poop has lots of berries and leaves in it, Grizzly poop has bells in it and smells like pepper.

3. About that monkey with the wooden leg trying to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle, we need more information. What time of day will the seed removal be attempted? What kind of wood is the leg made from?   Is the monkey good at balancing on the peg leg? When he starts kicking pepper seeds he won't have a leg to stand on.

Thanks,
rags

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: LadyJean
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 10:48 PM

My sister's guinea fowl will scream bllue murder if there's a full moon.

And I would say it would depend on the size of the monkey and the size of the dill pickle.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Sep 10 - 11:04 PM

"Dr. Rupert L. Limpon" Bobert
Ha! You didn't even spell his name right. It's "LIMPsome".

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Slag
Date: 12 Sep 10 - 03:59 AM

Is that a cold cured pickle or a cooked one?

Sorry I missed the Farm Animal question on the first go around. Must have been late or early or something. For all I know about Farm Animules see my recent thread "Squealing Pete and Lying Grunion". You'll be thankful if you missed it. And the question still stands Amos: Why would sheep lie?

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 12 Sep 10 - 04:42 AM

I post above the line, when I see something of interest or I can help.
I post below when I am either in a bad mood, protest strongly with something gone wrong in the world or when I see amusing threads.
One day it could be 100% above and another day it could be 100% below or it could be 50/50. even 25/75 or75/25 or even ..............

What do I know about farm animals. They are a vital part of our survival. However, they stink, have bad breath and bad manners, like peeing and crapping where ever they feel (why can't they be trained to use a toilet). They set a bad example by having a shag whenever they feel like it, right there in front of the children and leave the parents to explain what they are up to. They dont teach children about safe sex. How many farm animals ever wear a condom?

Have you seen the size of the monkeys nuts?

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 12 Sep 10 - 05:07 AM

Just a thought. If animals don't wear condoms, are they Catholic?

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Slag
Date: 12 Sep 10 - 04:31 PM

...universally!

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Gurney
Date: 13 Sep 10 - 02:08 AM

Like everyone, above the line if I can add something, but in that broad-spectrum territory, frequented by the well-informed, I'm often out-gunned.
Down here in bullshit territory, well, I feel more at home.


Farm animals, I've no experience.   Oh, except the ewe that was telling me about Amos.....

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 13 Sep 10 - 07:10 AM

>I share the feeling Ebbie. Music I love but it remains a mysterious thing to me. My tastes are all over the map; just about anything but rap. There is a station around here in Northern California the plays native American music and chants. I love it. Classical, Rococo, Baroque, Gregorian Chants, Hard Rock, standard hymnal, Blues, folk, folk rock, jazz on and on but only certain pieces. Mahler escapes me for some reason but I understand he was a genius. OK. I've studied the subject but I've never fully understood it. And I play at the guitar, harmonica, ocarina. We wont discuss how well I play. Got pretty good on bongo drums when I was a kid. Mostly I read at the top and comment down here. The folks who hang above the line are so well-versed and intelligent (for the most part), I feel out of my league.<

This is me too word for word even about Mahler nice to hear someone else saying the same, my boyfriend made me listen to it for a whole evening, eeek. I watched a film about it once and still didn't get it, mind you it was a Ken Russell film! But I don't play any instruments I really admire anyone that can do that wish I could. I have played the odd recorder, bongo drums and tamborine as you do in school but I am keener to dance to music.

Now and again I flirt above the line but I am not well-versed enough to make a regular visit, although I do read it all with interest.

I have an great effinity with animals we get along fine apart from goats. Tried my hand at milking one I took the advice to hold the teats firm she stamped a bit and I could see it in her eyes that she really did not trust or like me at all so I wasn't going to push it.

When I was small a neighbour started to keep chickens and when it came to killing one for the pot my dad who had been brought up on a farm offered to do the deed. I don't remember too much apart from my dad and the neighbour chasing this chicken around I did have dreams however about a headless chicken running around being chased by my dad. Is this possible or was it just a dream?

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Sep 10 - 09:50 AM

1. Whether I spend my time above or below the line depends entirely on what's being served for breakfast in each place. If it's Cream of Wheat above and Denver omelets below, I'm staying below.

2. Farm animals are noisy. I don't currently own any (though I used to own a pot-bellied pig), but plenty of people who live within hearing distance of my place do. If you wanna hear chickens, geese, guineas, peafowl, turkeys, goats, horses, donkeys, cattle and the occasional squealing pig, just drop in and sit on the front porch for an hour or so.

3. You can't kick the seeds out of a dill pickle. Kicking only angers them and makes them hold on more tightly. The best way to get seeds out of a dill pickle is to put the pickle in front of a stereo speaker and turn on some Barry Manilow. The seeds will leave of their own free will after about ten seconds. A one-legged monkey with a wooden leg can be trained to do the job in about an hour.

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Sep 10 - 09:59 AM

I TOLD ya'!! It was a grasshopper, not a monkey!

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 13 Sep 10 - 12:17 PM

A one-legged monkey with a wooden leg can be trained to do the job in about an hour.

To clarify: The job the monkey can be trained to do is choosing a Barry Manilow CD, inserting it into the CD player, and turning up the volume.

Due to the comparative sizes of CDs and grasshoppers, it should be apparent that this is not a job for which most grasshoppers are qualified. However, if he really wants to try out for the job....

Subject: RE: BS: Below-the-liners Questionaire???
From: Bill D
Date: 13 Sep 10 - 12:39 PM

Grasshoppers are for kicking dill pickles, not CR wrangling...