BS: Mudcat Christmas-WELCOME 2012 - Tavern

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Severn
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 07:58 PM

Sorry, the "he" who turns colors and grabs Nurse Ratched is, of course, the Squid. Please pardon my sentance structure.....

The holiday nurse's hat that fell off of Nurse Ratched is actually pretty cute and not the type of thing I associate with her. Surrounding the large Red Cross, it says, "I'm good for wassailing you".
But make no mistake she's a black belt with a sadistic streak, and after all these years, still doesn't really know the meaning of mercy. Ol' Squiddy's got his tentacles full, and ten may not be enough.

The alligator, still tending bar, tells the tart of a waitress that she should've taken that board for the man and planked the salmon. She doesn't realixe that Santa's closest neighbors are from Canuckistan and that he delivers them first and us second. We should hope that Santa doesn't forsake us.

Severn will probably be in the mood for a tart later, but curious about SINSULL's blue pills, he goes and sits in a corner where there is a plate with few uneaten cream puffs instead. He sticks in his thumb and pulls out one, wipes the pill off, slugs it down with a can of Hansons Diet Pomegranate, and says, "What a good boy am I!" (at least from a diabetic stand, or in this case, sit-point). He then hands the puff to a swooping bat.

Gnu the Canadian seems to only want a Yank for her yanks, without a word of thanks. Of course, there's no use offering SINS his heart. She's already seen it.....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 07:56 PM

& the hungry & thirsty roos, freda, the wombette & sandra pushed open the Australian door & entered the Tavern. Well, the wombatte wasn't particularly thirsty as she wombled thru the door, trying to avoid all the feet & hooves & walk in her usual straight line ...

"Has anyone cooked the garlic prawns?" said sandra

"No carrots for us" sez the roos, "we want traditional christmas snacks - cake & beer & Purina Reindeer Chow & mince pies & egg nog & mulled wine & ...

freda was too busy smiling at everyone & greeting friends ...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: JennieG
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 07:40 PM

As the little wombette snuggled under the parcels on the big sleigh she heard a tinkle...and another.....then another.....then all was silent again. Rousing herself (not an easy thing to do you know, she was up very early this morning) she gently tore a hole in the paper wrapping.

"Ooooohhh, bubbles!" she said....."my favourite fruit" she said.

With her sharp little teeth (usually more at home nibbling grass than opening wine, but a wombat has to do what a wombat has to do, right?) she managed to get the top off, and tipped up the bottle so some of the gently fizzing liquid ran down her throat.

A very nice drop, she thought to herself. It made her feel quite mellow.

As the sleigh flew onwards through the dark night the little wombette was singing to herself every Christmas song she had ever heard, and then some - even the one about blokes and their wife's undies. However being well brought up and having led a sheltered life, she didn't know what it meant.

Just as the last drop drained into the little wombette's throat there was a screech of tails and feet, and the sleigh came to a stop.

"Where are we?" wondered the little wondering wombette as she peeked over the side.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 07:09 PM

Am I inside or out? For years I have wished some young lady would grab my nether regions but not quite like that. Not that I am complaining, but could you give them a few more yanks, SINS? I haven't quite learned my lesson.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Bert
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 06:39 PM

And meanwhile gnu is sitting in the corner sipping a Glenfiddich and repeatedly muttering 'and he to keep the cold side outside put the outside fur side inside, he to keep the warm side inside put the inside skin side outside'

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 03:26 PM

After sitting down at the rustic table, the bearded man asked for "a Christmas Donair, extra sauce on the side, and a triple Black Navy Rum on the rocks. I don't care what brand rum", he said to the freckled and red haired tavern tart.

"I don't know what a donair is", she quipped back, "let alone what a Christmas one is?" You'll have to stick to the menu, it's on the wall, written out on the blackboard. I'll return with your drink and give you more time sorting out what you want to eat"".

On returning, she passed him his drink, which he shot back quickly. "Do you have Newfie fries, or PEI fries with the works", he asked, in a gravelly voice, and a slight cough from the rum.

""No sir, she said, in frustration. We onty have what's on the blackboard.""

So, you don't have real tavern grub, just uppiddy crap like nachos, chicken wings and other bird parts, he quizzed? And, why don't you have Christmas donairs?""

""Like I said, we only what's written on the menu board"", she shortly replied back to the patron. ""Do you need more time to look over the menu?""

He reached into his bag, pulled out a full salmon, which seemed to be about five pounds, and slapped it onto the table. "Can you ask the cook to fry this up for me," he asked?

Startled, she said, ""no sir, please take it off the table and put it back into your sack. Do you have an order to make from the board?""

"Ok, he said, I get the message, I'll take my business down the street, where they know good tavern food and treat folks with respect. And, you call this a tavern, he said, as he walked out the door.""

Shortly after he left snorts and jingles were heard. They looked out, and the bearded gentleman was flying through the air sleigh, deer and all.

Imagine that, Santa eats donairs (and, not gyros) Cdn Maritimes donairs

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 02:35 PM

Rusty, the cat reminds Severn that he didn't sign the last thread.

"Thank you! Another bottle of Hanson's for me and some catnip tea for my friend!'

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 02:23 PM

Severn, non-smelly skunkskin hat on head from out of his car, walks in petting the scared cat.
"Aren't you Rusty?", he coos to the snuggling cat.
"No, just a little out of practice, is all", the feline replied.
"I know how you feel, li'l buddy", says Severn soothingly.
"My kind of cat!", he thinks to himself.
The hat was a gift from when Crockett himself visited the tavern.

It's great news to see good old gnu as good as new, the way the gnu of old was known to us all.
"How do you feel?"

Nurse Ratched wanders too close to the Jell-o pit and after eating several tentacles-full of drug-spiked creampuffs and now continuously turning more colors than just green and red and feeling rejected by Liz, he grabs her and pulls her into an embrace in his cranberry red lair. Her nurse's torture bag falls far out of reach, somewhere poolside.....

- - - Sev, the forgetful

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Ed T
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 02:17 PM

Eat what you want:

World's Unhealthiest Cookbook

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 11:38 AM

Once the tree is in place and decorated with LED light strings and many antique glass ornaments, Sage's gaze travels around the room, then moves back to Psychomorris. That's a large, stunning hat - but it just blinked at her. "Erm . . . MGAS . . . you may need to retrieve your "hat" before Psychomorris tries to throw it up on the moose antlers in the rafters."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 10:39 AM

'another barrel, and put it on everyone else's tab!' he roars and continues to drink the place dry.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Psychomorris
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 09:07 AM

Unfortunately the nice bearded old gent having had a few stiff ones, had forgotten his allergy to felines. He gave an enormous sneeze that rattled the windows shook the peace out of all there. Poor old rusty snapped out of the topor and drooling, shot up and through the open kitchen door. handy thought Severn ''I,m not looking for animals to cook'', 'but hey' !''meat on the run should liven up any pot.''Severn looked proud, as he swaggered into the bar with his new Davy Crocket black and white styled hat. and so...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 08:57 AM

Gnu. I learned this trick from Captain Kendall. Run towards me and DON'T STOP> Rtached is after you with a pair of tongs.

As gnu runs headlong into Auntie SINS she thrusts her hand down his throat, gullet and nether regions. With a quick snap she turns and changes directions while gnu, with a painful roar, turns himself right side out.


DASHER! Don't lick Auntie SINS arm.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: My guru always said
Date: 22 Dec 11 - 03:11 AM

Sniffing through the cat-flap, Rusty, the black&white cat, is drooling at the thought of roasted Aurochs meat. Ears twitching at the strange sounds coming from within, she thought, 'sounds like quite a party going on, think I'll just creep inside'.

Keeping out of the way of all the feet, and watching out for tentacles sliding around near the Jello pit, Rusty investigates the room. Though she'd like to go into the kitchen to check on the quality of the cooking and find out what was smelling so good, she opts for cosying up. Spotting a handy lap belonging to a nice-looking Gent, she jumps up and snuggles down.

The nice Gent absently strokes the tired, hungry Cat, teasing the seeds and twigs that she's picked up on the road out of her fur.

'MMmmm', she purrs contentedly. 'I can wait for something to eat, but I wonder if anyone has a drop of Baileys to spare?'

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 09:54 PM

'drink us dry,' he hears.

well, okay. best get started then, and downs a keg of nut brown ale, paying on the nail so he doesn't go to jail. indeed, lest bacchus' daughters and sons be dismayed he says, 'join with me, each jovial blade, drink and sing and lend your aid to pay for this spree of glory.'

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Bert
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 09:04 PM

...gives a big yank...

Now don't bring Big Mick into this or he'll drink us dry.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 07:34 PM

Ahem! More glue re-gnus! Now... where's that breaky? I gotta a carrot ta pick wit er. Ninja my ass.

Well, yeah, but not this time. I'm packin a jovial blade.

Instead of spa, we'll drink brown ale
And pay the reckoning on the nail;
No man for debt shall go to jail
From Gorryowen in glory.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Severn
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 07:17 PM

Meanwhile, a pipe band strikes up the "Gory-Owen"....

Pray for his re-gnu-al. Bring back the old gnu!....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Severn
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 07:00 PM

I kinda liked Megan in a Selkie nightgown. That look was just the Christmas seal of approval....

I wasn't looking for animals to cook, I was just trying to keep up with the plot and the whereabouts of all the beings involved.

Inuit? I knew it!

Do we now call Sage "Stihl-ly"

Sage hums "Stihlly Nacht" as she trims the tree. The Silver Fir is perfect!

Granny, with the help of her whistling son, gives a big yank and the carrot is safely removed. However, in the process, gnu gets turned inside out, which is NOT a pretty sight. What can we do for him, other than to call him "ung" for the time being? SINS, where did you stash the wand? Is there a Doctor in the house?
As if on cue, in walks Nurse Ratched with a full-to-bulging medical bag and the most fiendish grin you'll ever hope not to see......

"No, Dasher!" shouts SINS. "Don't eat that carrot!"

But Nurse Ratched, in the name of revised Republican Health Care, doesn't seem to carrot all.

All the King's Horses and Men stand in reserve. Poor, poor ung......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 06:13 PM

I knew it!
One less Giant Sequoia to worry about...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Bert
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 04:51 PM

Watching Severn casting a keen eye around for more animals to cook, Megan the Selkie (Not realizing that the Selkie door was installed just for her) hastily transform back into her human shape.

She heads to the bar and orders a pint of the vile black stuff, while keeping a close watch on the Inuit in the corner eating deep fried butter sticks. And thinking, 'I'd better not change back into a seal while he is still around.'

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 04:38 PM

What was that thud? Oh dear, it was the duck. Duck muck stew, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 03:47 PM

Sage, astride Dasher's back, hangs a right at the ocean and heads for her native Pacific Northwest. Since native trees growing in healthy plantations are stately with widely spaced branches, she and Dasher head for a tree farm near Shelton, Washington, and slinking along the fenceline, pick a large pruned pyramid shaped silver fir (Abies amabilis). Vroom! vroom! the blade leaps to life then slices through the tree base like a hot knife through butter. Before it has had time to fall Dasher steps close, butts his head into the lower branches, flinging the tree across his back.

The return trip is rather difficult as Sage has to climb aboard and into the tree to cling to boughs to stabilize the tree on the bid deer's back. Dasher briefly staggers as he struggles to see where he was going then off they go, heading back over the bottom end of Puget Sound, passing the Columbia River, past the Rockies, and back to the tavern.

"Easiest way to get that tree in there, Dasher, is to drop in down through the existing hole in the roof." The two landed on the highest point of the tavern's roof and after Sage slips off his back, Dasher leans forward to dislodge the tree into the hole. As the very tall pyramid shaped tree slides through the hole, voices are suddenly heard below, and then there is a "thud."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Megan L
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 03:38 PM

Granny approaches Gnu with a very long pair of tongs "Don't worry lad just open your mouth and granny will remove thet carrot"

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 03:23 PM

Chain saw? Nevermind that! I got a carrot up my ass. Where's the can? And that little deer better be able to dodge like that kung foo guy when I get back.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 01:38 PM

Has anyone warned Sage about the door system here? She just wandered out among the Great Sequioas with a chain saw. I think it's illegal even in this universe.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 01:19 PM

Now, what's Olive doing waving that can of Bud at me? She's pointing at the carrot. Hmmm... deer or beer? I'll go for the beer.

HOLY %^$%$%(*)&!!! Where's the can? I gotta a carrot... WHERE'S THE CAN?!

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Megan L
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 12:27 PM

Olive eyes up the big man holding out a carrot to her. But being a lassie sundear shes no daft and smells the cookpot. she eases closer thinking the poor shmuck wont know what hit him he obviously doesn't know i am Olive the intrepid ninja reindeer.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Frogprince in Wisconsin
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 11:50 AM

Frogprince also then notices that he left his cookie at home in Michigan.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 11:48 AM

Frogprince keeps a wary eye on Tonto (is that actually Jay Silverheels?), and hopes that kiss from Liz doesn't wear off while he's still prowling around with that tomahawk. If only Brace Beamer (the real Lone Ranger) would show up and get him out of here and back on the trail of justice in the old west or something.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 11:12 AM

knowing that, although grievously hurt there is still work to do, he gets to his feet and again unsheaths his blade. people back away, in fearaand loathing as if this were las vegas, but he executes a proper grand salute and re-sheathes. thousands of tiny diamond clear lights have appeared on [in?] the walls, rafters, ceiling -- on any surface -- backed in deepest blue and tracing accurately the sky of a moonless night as seen from the home of each of the lookers.

'that'll cause some navigational errors,' he thinks as he drifts back to his meds and his tubes.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 09:40 AM

Those aren't Santa hats, Sage responds, they're holiday themed tea cozies. But you may wear them as hats if you wish.

Despite the unusual mix of livestock, Sage thinks fondly back to the days when there were christmas trees hanging from the rafters, swinging with riotous results and providing safe harbor for ducks. A tree . . . that's what we need. She heads out the back door and is followed by Dasher who grows large once he steps outside the tavern. She reaches into the garden shed behind the dumpsters and pulls out a Stihl chain saw and heads into the wooded area behind the tavern. "Let's the two of us deliver a tree to the tavern for the holidays."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 09:05 AM

No Liz in the loo. I think she is caught in an alternate reality called Facebook. Doesn't require Bert's credit card apparently.
SINS sits alone at the bar sipping her JD and humming Christmas carols.

Dasher got run over by a wombat
Walking home from our house Christmas Eve
You may think there's really no Australia
But as for me and Dasher - we believe.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Severn
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 06:45 AM

Too bad you couldn't stay, Patsy. It's a lot of fun here, but it's no Brigadoon. You don't get trapped here for life. You come and go as you want to, and you may get addicted for life. We'll still be here when you need us when we open on holidays and Getaway time. We'll be here til New Years this time. You may not be telling a soul of what you saw, but you ain't seen nothin' yet. Come back when you can.

If you're the Patsy who sings with Elmo, bring him too.

The boy finally brings me my tea, and I find out that he can't talk and can only comunicate by whistling. I could never whistle, so I ask for a lesson. Fine tea.....

Someone's put a Santa hat on Mr. Bell and after a few drinks, he's eenjoying playing the part. Be careful which whitebearded guy you talk to. It looks like Stilly's passing out Santa hats all around.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 04:43 AM

Well I had this crazy dream about flying kangaroos, wombats and Santa all at the Christmas Tavern, the one at the bottom of the lane in Gloucester. So I thought I would take another walk just to satisfy my curiousity that I hadn't imagined it and sure enough there it was all glowing and welcoming so in I went. Inside was the same portly bewhiskered barman flushed and clearly stressed out surrounded by hopping flying kangaroos and the most gorgeous wombette all fluffy wearing a pink sparkly collar. 'Yes you guessed it he said I am Santa and I thought I would deliver presents for children with an Antipodean theme this year and give poor old Rudolph a rest.' He served me a tot of whiskey when I finished my drink I rummaged around in my pocket to pay him and instead of money somehow it had changed to a pocket full of carrots. 'This is all I have' I said. 'That would be perfect for them all, especially Wombetta wombat who is only young and has been fretting. Pre-Christmas nerves, you know!' He sighed with relief. Each animal was satisfied and ready to get into some sort of flying order and Wombetta who had pride of place in the front of the sleigh alongside Santa. 'Just one thing, you must promise never to tell a soul what you have seen or the magic won't happen' Reluctantly I promised and went on my way. I turned again to see if the Tavern was still there but just as the last time it was gone.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: freda underhill
Date: 21 Dec 11 - 03:40 AM

Meanwhile, back at the South Pole, Sandra and Freda were wandering about, a little dazed. Were they imagining things, or was that a giant wombat on the back of the sleigh?

"Freda, you're imagining things," said Sandra.

The kangaroos were taking a break, and were lying back by a snow-filled billy-bong, having a smoko.

"A billy-bong?" said Bobert.

"It's a sort of an Antipodean pipe", said Freda, "It's a two-in-one and has a billy underneath it for the tea."

Meanwhile, the roos were getting ready to roll, and Sandra and Freda leapt into the sleigh - "Turn left and go straight ahead" cried Sandra, while Freda called out, "let the roo see the rabbit". It was on for one and all, but would they make the Mudcat Christmas tavern in time?

"I still think it's a giant wombat" said Freda.

Past melting glaciers, past water-bound poilar bears, past sunburnt penguins they flew (were these FLYING kangaroos then?) coasting across clouds, skidding through the sunset and ....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 10:07 AM

Alexander Grahm Bell sits fascinated, playing with Severn's cell phone, learning all the tricks, taking photos (but not as many as wincing devil. NOBODY takes more photos than wincing devil),texting and playing games, all the while muttering to himself, "Now why didn't I think of that?".....

Dasher, having consumed a blue pill in his cream puff and feeling no pain, decides to go flying and is now swooping around with the bats.....

Where are the Australians? Tonto, go find them!....

What IS in the stew at the moment? I lost track.....

Where's the Old Lady's whistling son with my Jasmine Tea?....

Sev is a little under the weather, he forgot to sign his name. . . --mudelf sneaks back into hiding in the recovery ward closet

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 09:11 AM

rapparee, being diabetic, has done the math and now has two hoses into his mouth -- one insulin and the other 25 year old single malt irish whisky. being injured,he just lays back and sucks it all in.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Severn, very much ON his meds
Date: 20 Dec 11 - 05:45 AM

Severn, being diabetic, is forbidden to partake of the creme de puffe, but is free to feed the pastries that he saw SINSULL spike to all the hungry animals, as he gives one to a swooping bat.

'How could my friend SINSULL dessert me like this after all these years?", he laments to himself.

"Hey squid, stick your hands out! These are better than butter!"

I can't give one to Dasher without distracting SINS. Hmmm.....
"Hey, SINS, how would you like a peacock for your fowl stew?"

"Maybe I should give one to the......DUCK!"...And he does...

SINSULL, you have no idea the corucopea of meds that I DO take for the burn pain. No blue ones at the moment, though. Ironically, the doc took me off those blue iron pills when I stuck to the office refridgerator. What WERE they?

The (still) long line at the bathroom door are now chanting in unison, "Loo-eee, Loo-eee, whoa, baby, we gotta go, yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah". They refrain from singing any verses, 'cause no two of them would sing them the same.....

It turns out that the "four coleen birds" are female Irish Green Linnets.....

A drugged bat flies headfirst into a rafter and falls, stunned, into the net.
"Are you feeling under the weather?", asks another bat.
No, just feeling a bit under the radar.", his semi-conscious buddy replies....

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 10:09 PM

"Hmmmm." Sage watches the YouTube video on a laptop behind the bar. "All of those rockers are sitting down for that performance. Rockers ready for rockers."

That reindeer seems to have shrunk coming indoors. He was much much larger outside. Must be part of Santa's magic.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 09:24 PM

'say it's net so,' he murmurs in a incoherently and lower-caseidly.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 09:09 PM

SHIT! I know they are around here somewhere....where's that bottle of little blue pills? Sev is off his meds again and apt to piss off the squid, Liz, eight tiny reindeer, most of Russia and Iraq as well as me.
We will tuck a few into the cream puffs and he'll never know the difference.
And if anyone tries to add Dasher to the stew, they will have me to deal with. Poor little guy has had enough drama for one day.
SINS kneels in the spruce branches, pats old Dasher's furry head and slips a carrot to him so that the squid can't see.
Now where's that DUCK?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 08:13 PM

They look like they're getting as old as we are! How'd THAT happen?

My second guess on the couple by the stove would've been "Ma & Son Kettle". Still waiting on that tea.....

The bats have rigged up a net they found somewhere out in the big storage barn outside while they unsuccessfully try to teach young Cousin Wombatty how to hang upside down from the tavern rafters. Wombatty keeps jumping back up there to try it again.
Severn examines the net and reads the inscription 'Property Of The Flying Wallendas' from back before they became known as the Falling Wallendas. "So THAT's what became of it! They'd been looking all over creation for that thing!", he thought. "One should never work without a net. Look what happened to The Mickey Mouse Club. One man's net loss is another's net gain, I guess."......

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 07:47 PM

No sugar?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 07:36 PM

What? The one whose son is on the other side of the stove whistling along with the teakettle? She doesn't look like Jaqui, that's for sure.

Hey, boy, cozy up to that kettle and please bring me a cup of Jasmine. No sugar....

The invisible pookah walks up to the bar and asks the aligator, who's making himself useful so as not to be stew meat, to make him a Wollbanger. The gator looks around to see where the voice came from in vain, but sees money fall on the bar and a glass seemingly banging the bartop all by itself, so he shruga and fulfills and fills full the request. The pookah tells him to keep the change....

"Where's the Ranger?", Eb asks Tonto.
"He out on loan tonight." replies the Faithfull Indian Companion.. "But with Ranger 1, Chantyranger and others, you seem to havum no shortage of them here."

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 07:13 PM

Yo, Sev... who's that senior knitizen over by the stove in the rocker with the shawl on the go?

As fer the seafood, I'd rather lobst er than be octipied.

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 07:00 PM

As for the stew, are we willing to get into the habit? We must appoint a Habbit Foreman to be in charge of the stew.
"The best I could find is a rabid horse", says gnu. "And I don't want to sacrifice my rabbit chasing hound, 'cause he's the dog of the hare that bit me. Luckily, I've had my rabbies shots. Can we substitute this pookah, instead.
What pookah? I don't see a pookah", asks the crowd

A little late, but still just in time, the aligator, as usual, comes in through the alley gate at a lumbering gait, muttering alley-gations to himself, and towing two Radio Flyer wagon-loads of Cajun food and spices, compliments of famed New Orleans chef Michael Rodeboadicheaux.

One of The Godess's bats flies down to Wombatty and says, "Hey, Cousin, why don't you hang up in the rafters with the rest of us. We don't want you to become Cousin Cuisine. I remember some French movie about that. They're rounding up the animals faster than Noah."

Hmmmm.....Frogprints! Frog passum this way not long ago, Chemo Sabe", Tonto says to Severn. Legs tastum like chicken." Tonto goes on the hunt.

The Doves, which it turns out are only Mock Turtle, withdraw into thier shells, and the voice of the turtle shall not be heard in the land tonight.


Gnu might be angry over being one for whom the Bell over-tolls, but Severn's in a friendly mood.
"Alexander Bell," says Severn, extending a hand (the right one, where the arm extends all the way). "The name rings a Gram. Pleased to finally meet you," he says as he backs up a few steps to take a picture of the visiting celebrity with his cell phone. Alexander, qiute confused, just looks at him and the phone quizically.

Hmmmm.....Frogprints! Frog passum this way not long ago, Chemo Sabe", Tonto says to Severn. Legs tastum like chicken." Tonto goes on the hunt.

Looks like one frog better be careful or he might make the annual Christmas Party Hop. "Quick, he cries, somebody kiss me!" Liz rushes out of the loo and obliges and the frogprince now looks like just another Catter.
"Whew, that was close!", says FP.
"Wanna get closer?" asks Liz, while the line for the lone loo at last gets longer with those who'd been circling on an endless holding pattern in lieu of an open loo.
The Squid, seeing his beloved Liz in the arms of another, seethes red with rage and green with envy. He looks very seasonal, actually...

What's the seafood dish this year, "Cala-a-la-Mmario"?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: gnu
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 04:45 PM

You stew. I am firin up Bambi. KEEP... a round of Pepsi and Screech fer the lot! If yer all good little boys and girls, I'll break out some bo'les a mooze and saute some spuds and onions fer a scoff. I'd treat ya ta some deer steaks and pancakes with maple slurpup but it's a TINY reindeer, eh?

No worries, Santa still has 8 a them with Rudy on strength... well, 9 if count Olive. Hmmm... he only has reins for 8. Olllive... ya want a nice carrot... here ya go... come and get the carrot dear little deer...

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: frogprince
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 04:30 PM

Has everyone but me heard about that stew? :) Or is it an obvious reference, and I'm being brain dead?

Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat Christmas Tavern 2011
From: GUEST, Eb
Date: 19 Dec 11 - 02:40 PM

Not to bring political thinking into this but this year could we possibly have an intriguing new stew that I've recently heard of? Consists of equal parts horse and rabbit. One horse, one rabbit.