Subject: Lyr Add: Budgie Smugglers
From:
GUEST,Kiwi the Parakeet
Date: 15 May 25 - 12:51 AM
BUDGIE SMUGGLERS
By Kiwi the parakeet
Translated from the Budgerigar by Holly Tannen
Tune: Waltzing Matilda (Words probably by ‘Banjo’ Paterson, 1894, to the tune of 'The Bold Fusilier.')
Once I was a lab tech, cataloguing arthropods
With Dr. Bruce down in Wooloomooloo.
Counting the legs upon a female millipede
I fell asleep at a thousand and two.
So I bid g’day to Eumillipes persephone
Farewell to Bruce and Wooloomooloo U.
But I dream I feel them crawling in my underwear
How many legs? I don’t care, do you?
Oh I drove through the bush and came upon a billabong
Under the shade of a coolibah tree.
There in his Speedos was Sir David Attenborough
Training a crew from the BBC.
Filming the budgies, filming the budgies
Who’ll come a-filming the budgies with me?
And he gave me a camera and a can of Cooper’s Pale
Will you come filming the budgies with me?
Hundreds of budgies, thousands of budgies
Millions of budgies will be on TV.
But I said, bloody hell, it’s hot and I would rather go
Swim on the beaches of Waikiki.
We found the budgies, genus Melopscittacus,
Flying along with a kangaroo
Smuggling’s not forbidden in Leviticus
Who’s going to mind if I nab a few?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wyfCMrqitWI
With the cash and the camera I stole from David Attenborough
I bought a ticket to NYC.
And I sang as I boiled my raggle-taggle underwear
Who’ll come a-smuggling budgies with me?
Smuggling budgies, smuggling budgies
Who’ll come a-smuggling budgies with me?
And I sang as I crossed the outback in my underwear
Who’ll come a-smuggling budgies with me?
Up come a swagman, says I’m sick o’ shearin’ sheep
And after work, bugger-all to do
Cuts on me hands and earwigs in me underwear
I’ll come a-smuggling budgies with you.
We drove up and netted the budgerigars
They came along without a peep
Then we put ‘em in the van, covered cages with our underwear
So that the budgies could go to sleep.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fRvlBczUDXs
Smuggling budgies, smuggling budgies
Who’ll come a-smuggling budgies with me?
And we sang as we crossed the outback in our underwear
Who’ll come a-smuggling budgies with me?
Back home in Sydney, Sulphur-crested cockatoos
Opening trash cans as we drove by
Glad we’re not smuggling sulphur-crested cockatoos
They’re bloody-minded, I don’t know why.
Chartered an aeroplane, touching down at JFK
Driving to pet shops 1,2, 3
And we sang as we counted
Piles of 20 dollar bills
Who’ll come a-smuggling budgies with me
In New York we met a lovely Barnard girl
She wanted budgies, one and two.
So she said, I’ll help you sell all your budgerigars
I’ll come a-smuggling budgies with you.
Smuggling budgies, smuggling budgies
I’ll come a-smuggling budgies with you
And she sang as she played with twenty-four budgerigars
I’ll come a-smuggling budgies with you.
Oy, says the swagman, Mardi Gras in New Orleans
Then on to Frisco and West LA.
We sold the budgies, and they all had babies ex-
‘Cept for a few that I think were gay.
On to Hawaii, for a little r – and – r
Two leapin’ larrikins on a spree
And we sang as we danced with sheilas in their underwear
Who’ll come a-smuggling budgies with me.
Smuggling budgies, smuggling budgies
Who’ll come a-smuggling budgies with me
And we sing as we cuddle sheilas in their underwear
Who’ll come a-smuggling budgies with me
The millipede Eumillipes persephone was discovered in a bore-hole 200 feet below the surface in western Australia. It is colorless, eyeless, and less than half an inch wide. Though the males have no more than 818 legs, one female was found to have 1,306 legs. Textbooks stating that no millipede has as many as a thousand legs will have to be re-written. https://news.vt.edu/articles/2022/02/first-true-millipede.html
Scientists speculate that E.persephone spends most of its time eating fungus.
Sulphur-Crested Cockatoos learn to open trash bins from one another.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8NOR1L1-sg
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sj
