Crying before class

Subject: Crying before class
From: GUEST,Spaceman
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 07:12 AM

Why 6 years old children cry before they come to class? Do I do something wrong? When I did observing another early childhood class of another teacher some chldren also cried and wanted their mothers. But the children there were too young perhaps 3 to 5 years olds. So what is happening with my students? One of my students who was six years old dropped from the class. When we were doing classes he was crying and wanted his mother desperately. Another student yesterday came with red eyes and when I asked him he admitted that he was crying before he came to class. I am afraid of loosing this student too. The children in my class seem enthusiastic and they contribute a lot to the class. So what is wrong then?

My six years old piano student also complained that she was getting upset every time she has piano lessons with me. I guess this is totally another issue because this particular student does not study enough and her mother is very uninterested and does not care to help her daughter make progress. Can a six year old child study by herself without the help of her mother? And can I say to her that she is doing fine in case she is not doing any progress at all? I invited her mother to come to listen to her daughter's lessons so that she can help her but what else can I do?

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: GUEST,Spaceman
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 07:18 AM

Isn't it a six years old piano student to play hands together harmonics 2nds with the right hand and melody with her left hand or vice versa? I a doing with my six years old student Prep Course B of Alfred's Basic Piano Library.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Morticia
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 07:30 AM

have you tried asking them.....quietly and on a 1:1 basis? Could be something at home, another student has upset them, could be anything.....doesn't seem likely to me that it's personal because you obviously care a great deal and that's what generally makes a good teacher.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: kendall
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 08:57 AM

If the child doesn't want to do the lessons, and the mother is not interested, you are pissing against the wind.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 09:11 AM

You know the old story?
Johnny in tears "I don't want to go to school"
Mother "You've got to go"
This continues for some time with Johnny getting more and more upset, screaming, lying on the floor and kicking his legs in the air.
Finally his mother says firmly:
"Johnny, you HAVE to go."
Johnny "Why?"
Mother "because you're the headmaster"
RtS (every one a little-if old- gem)

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 09:51 AM

Sorry Spaceman, but could it be that you are being a litte tough on them? 6 years old is a tad young for a set/strict type of music class, IMO. Not meaning to make assumptions here, just trying to help out.

My brother was that kind of private piano teacher, which was okay for the really serious students, but others, including his own sisters, weren't ready for that level of perfection and demand.

My sister has been teaching elementary music for umpteen years. I'll ask her to drop in and see what she can come up with; I know she's dealt with a lot of crying children who just plain don't want to be there, in school.

kat

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: RichM
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 10:13 AM

Is another student bullying your student? Kids are reluctant to admit this. I know, because I was bullied as a school kid.

I think you get the idea; the answers to your question, so far, seem to all suggest to find out what the pupil is feeling.

Rich

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Peter T.
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 10:37 AM

I cried all the time before going to classes when I was a kid (six, seven). I used to cry in the car before going to my first piano lessons (this may be why I never learned piano), simply because I was going to a strange person's house. It is a fear of the unknown and the different. Also a piano is a very big instrument, you are propped up high, it is very scary, all those white teeth. I sometimes believed that I would never see my mother again, and that I would be left with this teacher. Winnicott, in his great book Playing and Reality talks about this -- the moment when your mother can leave you playing in a room, and you can accept that she will come back. Some children never fully get that confidence. Some people are just born with a few layers of skin too few. What always worked for me was food. It is hard to cry and eat at the same time.

yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 11:53 AM

another thought here...personal story:

My twin boys went to kindergarten in Alabama. They had wonderful, loving, warm teachers who hugged a lot. During one Christmas break a substitute teacher was brought in, a German lady who spoke with a strong German accent. She was warm and loving, but the accent upset one of the boys so much he started stuttering. (The other boy was in love with her.)

I don't know a lot about child development, but it seems that at that age they are very susceptible to change. I had to spend almost a year of nonverbal play before all traces of stuttering left.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Bert
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 12:12 PM

Hi Spaceman, we talked about you on Mudcat Radio last night. It's great to find a teacher who really cares about the kids and tries to improve the learning experience for them.

You know, katlaughing may have a point - in your enthusiasm, you might be pushing them a little too much.

Try to let them just drift for a lesson now and then, sit them around the piano and you play and sing for them.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: GUEST,Spaceman
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 12:40 PM

What exactly did you say on the radio about me? What kind of radio is that?

How can I be less strict?

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Bert
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 12:44 PM

Mudcat Radio is a net broadcast by us guys here at Mudcat. It happens every Tuesday night. We said that you were a great guy for trying to improve your teaching.

You can be less strict. Most kids don't learn 'anything' about music in school, so if your 6 year olds learn just a little then you're doing a great job.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 12:48 PM

Hey Guys........This is a send up. if it ain't I'll eat my hard drive.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Bert
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 12:58 PM

Figgured it might be Spaw. But like the congenital liars you meet occasionally, I just take them at face value. If they're lying then it's their problem only.

They're the ones who have to live with themselves and go to bed every night with the certain knowledge that they are fools.

Bert.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 01:11 PM

I've been trying to Bert, but the crap is wearing pretty thin anymore. Hell, maybe its just something in the air and I'll get over it. Maybe its an offshoot of the CRS.................

Spaw

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: kendall
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 01:15 PM

Cant eat and cry at the same time? you never had my first wife's cooking.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Peter T.
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 01:49 PM

kendall, you are a card. yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 02:06 PM

Yeah, I kinda' think of him as the Queen of Clubs...............

Spaw

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: katlaughing
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 03:11 PM

I thought it might be, too, Spaw, but decided on Bert's appraoch, this time. It is wearing thin, you're not the only one to thnk so.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Pinetop Slim
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 03:40 PM

Spaw, I'm not positive it's a sendup. I'm on my third dulcimer teacher now. The first two cried every time I showed up for class.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Helen
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 05:23 PM

Hi Spaceman,

Are you doing some fun activities, and playing some music which is just for fun?

When I was young I lived next to a family and the father played the violin for amateur musical productions. His fther played the piano, and we used to love listening to the times when the two of them would get together and have jam sessions.

The children of that family had to learn the piano. They had to do serious lessons and to practise every day. They practised because they *had* to and not because they enjoyed playing music. Now that they are adults - 35 years later - as far as I know they don't play music at all. They could never see the fun in music, only the serious side.

On the other hand, my sister and I learned to play a plstic whistle in late primary/elementary school. OUr class had a band and we really had a lot of fun. BY having fun we learned that music was a worthwhile way to sepnd our time. We both went on to playing other instruments and now we play together for fun as well as for the occasional wedding or concert.

So, I am not saying that it should only be for fun and enjoyment all the time, but if you can help your students to see why playing music is worthwhile then maybe they will be more motivated to study, and they will be happier coming to class.

Can you get them to play Chopsticks or Heart & Soul duets? Can you show them some of the benefits of learning music?

Helen (a trainer by trade)

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: Sandy Paton
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 11:36 PM

Does anyone besides this old codger read the comics? If so, do you read "For Better or For Worse," the wonderful daily from the Canadian woman (Lynn Johnston, is it)? Well, the little girl, April, has been learning the guitar from her grandfather. He is teaching her to play by ear. The mother, worried a bit about that, arranges for her to take "real" music lessons from a teacher who starts teaching her to play scales, etc., by note. The grandfather is a little hurt by this, since he feels his contribution is being disapproved of, somehow.

Well, the grandfather has a mild heart attack and is in the hospital. The family comes to visit and April has brought her guitar. "Would you like to hear me play?" "Sure," they tell her. She plays. Her mother says, "That's beautiful! Is that something you learned from your music teacher?" "No," says April, "I learned that one from grandpa." "Oh," the mother observes, "Then you learned that one by ear?"

"No," April replies. "I learned that one by HEART!"

'Nuff said.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Feb 01 - 11:48 PM

Great story Sandy, from a fine strip.

This thread may be a sendup, but your post made it worthwhile.

And yes, I still read the comics. I was lucky enough to learn to read at an early age and some great memories are sitting on my grandfather's lap and reading the Sunday comics after church. Pop and I would sit and read "Price Valiant," "Gasoline Alley," the "Katzemjammer Kidz," "Pogo," "Blondie," "Dondi," "Terry and the Pirates," "Steve Canyon," "Barney Google and Snuffy Smith,"...........great times, and I still enjoy them today.

Spaw

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 12:31 AM

Thanks, Sandy! That is one of my favorites and I missed that one! I think it has been just ebautiful the way she has shown the juxtaposition of learnign from grandpa dn teh teacher. Another good one was when she wanted to know why she just couldn't play the way she heard it, rather than the way the music said.

Prince Valiant is sitll one of my favs, too.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: mkebenn
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 07:50 AM

Not to add to thread creep(a lie), but I love "For Better or Worse", great heart touching stuff. If you have access, "Funky Winkerbeam" is sometimes funny, sometimes way too close to home, always leaves you thinking..not bad for the "funny papers" Mike

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 08:07 AM

Spaceman has been asking some other specifics about teaching six-yr olds on some other threads, so this may be legit. I'm afraid the little ones are trying to take in too much info too fast, and it's overwhelming. This age wants so much to please the adults in their lives, and they assume it's their fault if they don't understand, or if too much information is coming their way. They need lots and lots of repetition on each new concept, lots of games and activities to reinforce their new knowledge, before moving on to the next step. Hang in there, Spacie, and just keep letting the littles know that you care for them and that you love music and you just know they will love it, too!

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 08:09 AM

Here is Spaceman's other thread on six-year olds in music class.

Subject: RE: Crying before class
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Feb 01 - 08:38 AM

Actually there are FOUR Animaterra. Perhaps they are legit, but awhile back we had a couple of sincere requests like this and they got some heat from a guest. These are written in the same style and it may be our guest sending up the original. Interestingly enough, the other two "Spaceman" let drop as soon as I called him on it.

If it is legit, then he's gotten some good info!

Spaw