Song Challenge! - Part 79

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Áine
Date: 06 Jan 02 - 04:27 PM

Here we go again, my darlin's! Dig out your ear muffs, binochs and red caps, cuz' we're going badger bonkin' - er, I mean badger watchin':

Naughty Naturalists Nabbed in Night-Vision Nasty -- A couple at a lakeland holiday park were caught naked on cameras meant to monitor the movements of badgers.

The pair ventured into the snowy woods at the Oasis Village, near Penrith in Cumbria.

Their romp was beamed into every hotel bedroom on a special channel trained on the badger set.

The night-vision camera caught the couple in the early hours of the morning. The woman kept her bobble hat on, reports the News of the World.

The pair stopped when they heard a sound and quickly put their clothes on before being chased by a security guard with a torch.

The identity of the couple has not been revealed.


Go for it, Challenge!rs -- just remember, you can keep your hat on! ;-)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 06 Jan 02 - 04:36 PM

Badgers! we don need no steenking badgers!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 06 Jan 02 - 04:53 PM

Badger (Muskrat) Love

Badger, badger, Late night stroll.
Then they lay down and they start to roll
In the evenin'
It's pretty pleasin'

Badger woman, Badger man
Do the nasty out on the badger cam.
As they shiver
Down by the river

And they humped and they pumped and she gobbled
All the while wearin her bobble
Acting like two badgers in heat
before they're retreat

Getting the service up in their suites
Hotel guests see to much heat
They call the front desk
Saw what the hell's this

Now they're running away
with the snow tween their toes
Pretty soon they'll be blowing their nose
But the flash light, caused them to take flight

And they humped and they pumped and she gobbled
All the while wearin her bobble
Wishing they were wearing their gloves
Looks like Badger love

La da da da da ...

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Áine
Date: 06 Jan 02 - 05:05 PM

Oh Jack, Willis Alan would be so proud!! ;-) Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for starting things off with a 'gobble' with:

And they humped and they pumped and she gobbled
All the while wearin her bobble
Wishing they were wearing their gloves
Looks like Badger love

Great! -- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Amos
Date: 06 Jan 02 - 05:20 PM

LOL, Jack!! Man, what some folks won't do to get on a camera!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 06 Jan 02 - 05:33 PM

The Skydome baseball stadium in Toronto has a hotel in one end. Well one day one couple got more interested in each other than the game, left the lights on a shades open. Got themselves on the Jumbotron!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Clifton53
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 01:40 AM

Is that a burnin' bush abob of it's bobbletop???

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Genie
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 03:16 AM

I can't remember all the words to the song Maria Muldaur sang, so my parody may be off a little (just like certain hotel guests' clothes). Genie

Midnight At The Oasis
Parody lyrics - Genie

Midnight At The Oasis
Tourists lyin' in bed
While the badger cam traces
Penelope and Ned.

They see our gal's got a suntan
With no tan lines at all,
It's nifty how Ned is bending,
Presenting
His rump and his c**k and balls.

Zoom in, camera's rollin' on!
Roll on,
badger's gone,
But beaver's on the lawn!

Infra-
red light at The Oasis
Was for critter lovers to peek,
But Ned and Pen now have red faces--
Four sets of blushing cheeks!!!

Well, Lakeland's hardly a Sodom,
It's geared to "the family,"
But when they stolled out bare-bottomed,
The cam caught 'em
For closed-circuit TV.

Tune in, it's nature in the raw
Tune in,
it's bare skin
Best travelogue I ever saw!

Midnight At The Oasis,
Watching Penny and Ned.
They've been rolling in sand dunes,
Flashing moons
To all the guests in bed.
(Best show the motel's had!)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 05:05 AM

To the tune of that oul' come-all-ye "Navvy Boots".

WITH ME BOBBLE-HATON
I'm a Cumbrian lassie, I hail from Carlisle
I'll tell you my story, and raise you a smile
I have me a boyfriend, his name it is John
And he fancies me mad with me bobble-hat on

Oh he first had his supper and then had a shave
For courtin' myself he highly prepared
The oul' stars in the sky as the moon it shone down
And I slept in my bed with my bobble-hat on

He knocked at my window, his knock I did know
And out of my slumber I wakened so slow
He knocked there again and I said "Is that John?"
He said "It is I. Get your bobble-hat on!"

I opened my window; he gave me a kiss
And we slipped away to the woods at Penrith
He says "Me boul' Nancy, you're turnin' me on
Get out of your kit, but keep your hat on!"

I stripped like Salome removing her veils
And shimmied and flashed and waggled my tail
'Neath the moon's slivery beams I was white as a swan
All except for me noggin, with me bobble-hat on

And then to our business we two did attend
The clothes from his body like a fiend I did rend
Then sank to the ground and I moaned "Take me, John"
Says he "Then I will … with your bobble-hat on"

But we were disturbed when our business was done
By the flash of a light and away we did run
We fled from the scene, with the wind we were gone
Buck-naked except for me bobble-hat on

Oh then six months being over and seven at the last
I began to grow stout and grow thick round the waist
Eight months being over and nine came along
I gave him a child with a bobble-hat on

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 07:29 AM

Whoops ... I added a note in the wrong place!!

The entry should have read as follows.

(No doubt some kinf mudelf will do the needful)

Apart from "Navvy Boots", the other song that appeared to me to be ripe for parodying in this Challenge! was Billie Jo Spears' "Blanket On The Ground". So here goes

WET BLANKET(On the ground)

We were walking through the wild wood
That big ol' moon was shinin' down
I said to hub' "Don't that remind you
Of the blanket on the ground?"
Are those days just a distant memory
Now we're middle-aged and grey?
Let's give an outdoor shag a whirl, love
Think about it, what d'you say?"

CHORUS
I'll get the blanket from the bedroom
And we'll go walking once again
To that spot near the Oasis
Where our sweet live first began
Just because we are married
Don't mean we can't fool around
So let's do it in the moonlight
On a blanket on the ground

Do you remember how excited
We used to get when love was young
I was pert and lithe and buxom
You were snake-hipped and well hung
Now we've both begun to wrinkle
And we've put on the odd pound
Doesn't mean that we can't do it
On a blanket on the ground

CHORUS

Ouch! A dirty great big pine-cone
Is digging in my twat
And the night air is so freezing
I must wear a bobble-hat
You are knobbly where I'm flabby
Where you're skinny, I am round
Wish I'd never heard you mention
That ol' blanket on the ground

CHORUS

"Hurry up and get it over!
I am miserable as sin"
"This cold breeze is a distraction
Don't think I can get it in!"
"Let's go home to our warm bedroom
And the mattress we can pound
I'm sure we look pathetic
On the blanket on the ground"

duplicate message deleted by mudelf ;-)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 07:30 AM

Áine, mo chroí, if this meets with your favour, then do I get THE BIG ONE?

SEVEN DRUNKEN MUDCAT NIGHTS
I came home on a Monday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I spied my missus lying down
Beneath a spreading tree
And on her head a bobble-hat
And she's yelling out in glee
"If I wasn't drunk, I might have thunk
You were cuckolding me!"
Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool
And still you cannot see
I'm only taking a midnight stroll
In innocent company
Well it's many's the day I've wandered
A hundred miles or more
But an innocent stroll in the nude, me boys
I never saw before

(78) I came home on a Tuesday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I spied an ashtray beside the bed
Where my oul' ashtray should be
I's about to stub my feg in there
Till my wife she yells at me
"Get out of that, you stupid prat
Let my sister's ashes be"
Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool
And still you cannot see
That's my sister's ashes that Wal-Mart delivered to me
Well it's many's the day I've wandered
A hundred miles or more
But a cigar-butt in a cremation urn
I never saw before

(18) And I came home on Wednesday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I caught a whiff of sulphur
And it put the wind up me
So I called my wife and I said to her
"Would you kindly let me know
Are we victims of possession
By the boyos down below"
"Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool
And still you cannot see
That's a brand-new IBM that my sister gave to me"
Well it's many's the day I've wandered
A hundred miles or more
But oul' Nick to reside in a 40-gig drive
I never saw before

(22) And I came home on Thursday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a headless chicken
Run up the path to me
So I called my wife and I said to her
"Would you kindly tell to me
A chick, no head, but not yet dead
How can this come to be?"
"Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool
And still you cannot see
It's just a plain ol' rooster of a new variety "
Well it's many's the day I've wandered
A hundred miles or more
But a cock with a funnel instead of beak
I never saw before

(32) And I came home on Friday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a mermaid on the rocks
A-beckoning to me
So I called my wife and I said to her
"It's late home I will be
For I am on a promise
With a siren of the sea"
"Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool
And still you cannot see
It's just a topless woman from the tourist industry "
Well it's many's the day I've wandered
A hundred miles or more
But a model with a fish's tail
I never saw before

(55) And I came home on Saturday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw a lanky cowboy
And he's motioning to me
He's got a scalpel in his hand
And he charges a high fee
So I ask my wife If she can tell
How this strange sight can be
"Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool
And still you cannot see
That's a medical doctor, with a surgical specialty "
Well it's many's the day I've wandered
A hundred miles or more
But a doctor waring chaps and spurs
Sure I never saw before

(68) And I came home on Sunday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I saw an upright tiger
And he flashed a smile at me
So I called my wife and I said to her
"Would you kindly tell to me
Tigers walking on two legs
How can this come to be?"
"Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool
And still you cannot see
It's just a man who had a plan for some skin artistry "
Well it's many's the day I've wandered
A hundred miles or more
But I've never heard a tattoed man
Let out such a hideous roar

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 08:58 AM

Holy moly!! Derrymacash is on a roll!! That job of his is sure comfy!! LOL!!

I gotta say he sweeps the field, win place and show on this one!!

Once again, he's golden!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 09:17 AM

A wee toss off for the grace of the Goddess. Derry's just blown the doors off this one. Now you gotta remember that thumping rhythm that Marvin puts out when he hears itythrough the grapevine...

I Saw It On The Badger Line

(Tune: I Heard it On The Grapevine -- Marvin Gaye)

Ooh, I bet you're wondering how I knew
What it was you left our room to do
When you said you had to see a man
To discuss a business plan,
I sat down, it kinda got my goat
So I picked up the remote, and...

I saw it on the badger line
And it showed me how you'd been lyin'
Oh I saw it on the badger line
You've been serving double-time!
Honey, honey, yeah

Dunno why you gotta do me like that
With some hussy in a bobble-hat
Just a two-bit local skank
With a birthmark on her flank
You can say it wasn't you
But you've got a birthmark, too, and...

I saw it on the badger line
And it showed me how  you'd been lyin'
Oh I saw it on the badger line
You've been serving double-time!
Honey, honey, yeah

You can say that I shouldn't cry
But I am, and here's the reason why
I walked out in an awful burn
But Oasis Village won't make no returns
Even though...
 

I saw it on the badger line
And it  how showed me how you'd been lyin'
Oh I saw it on the badger line
You've been serving double-time!
Honey, honey, yeah

 
 
 

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Paul from Hull
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 09:31 AM

*ROFLMBO*....to EVERYTHING.....

Yer all bl**dy daft!

*GRINS*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 10:07 AM

I'm not goin' to pursue this one … it's just too silly … another verse or two might be gilding the lily! It is, of course, a parody of that genteel nursery song "The Teddy-Bears' Picnic".

If you go down in the woods today
You'd better go in disguise
If you go down in the woods today
You're in for a big surprise
For bobbly-hats are all we will don
Apart from our hats we'll have nothing on
Today's the day our Teddy will bare his prick, Nick

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Áine
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 10:10 AM

A Aidan, naire ort! ;-)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 10:15 AM

I'll take that as a compliment, Áine!

As the poet said "Mór mo naire ..."

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 10:56 AM

A parody of "Courtin' In The Kitchen"

Come single belle and beau
And to me pay attention
Don't ever fall in love
It's the devil's own invention
For once I fell in love
With a maiden so bewitching
The denouement thereof
Was screened on television
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

I met her in the woods
Out back of the Oasis
Her eyes shone like the sun
She had one of those faces
To melt a poor boy's heart
To drive him to distraction
Determined not to part
I spurred myself to action
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

Good evening miss I said
Although I am a stranger
I wonder if you'd care
For an escort, case of danger
For I would hate to see
A maiden so delightful
Encounter any fate
That might be considered frightful
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

Oh I will walk with you
You are possessed of char-am
I would welcome kindly
Protection from all har-am
I am, as you can see,
But lithe and slim and bonny
No match for any foe
Who might set his sights upon me
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

As night began to fall
I felt it getting chilly
To maintain a naked head
It really is quite silly
Please my fair young maid
My hat that has a bobble
I'll gladly lend to you
It causes me no trouble
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

Why thank you for your gift
It is much appreciated
For your courtesy and kindness
You will soon be compensated
She took hold of my arm
And paced it round her waist, sir
And dragged me to the ground
With much indecent haste, sir
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

And so we soon undressed
But for the hat I loaned her
And as we did the deed
She sighed and screamed and moaned sir
And we were so enrapt
In our lustin' and our passion
We didn't realise
That the hotel nearby was watchin'
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

Things came to a head
She scratched me with her claws, sir
When from the near hotel
We heard some wild applause, sir
The manager exclaimed
You gave my guests a treat, sir
And as a just reward
Please accept the bridal suite. Sir
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: MMario
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 11:21 AM

Badgers
(Tune:Feelings of Love)

Badgers!
Nothin' on but Badgers!
On the TV set,
of our budget hotel!

Badgers!
Fillin' every channel
I can't believe I'm that dull
That I'm watchin' this show!

Badgers!
Whoa!
Wait! THATisn't
Badgers.
I think that it may be…
NO!
I don't believe it's true….

Not
Badgers!
That's a couple
"dancin'"
"Dancin'" horizontal.
She's still got her hat on!
Wow, this is getting' good.

Camaras
Trackin' every movement
Wonder if they know that…?
Here comes the guard!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 12:02 PM

To the tune of "Jamie Raeburn's Farewell"

BROCK'S FAREWELL
Oh me name is Brock the badger and me tale begins forthwith
I've dug myself a bonny sett in the woods nearby Penrith
But the human being's antics have driven me awa'
Far from the hills and lakes and woods of dear ol' Cumbria

It's not the TV cameras that I abhor per se
It's not the TV lighting crew have sent me far away
But my poor wee suckling badgereens must not witness such a show
And so alas, with heavy heart from Cumbria I'll go

It was of a winter's evening the stars fair filled the sky
When a pair of human beings passed my home nearby
And rested for a moment, and then, sad to relate
Before my very eyes this pair began to copulate

On TV shows you humans sometimes see we badgers mate
"Life On Earth" and "Nature Watch" and others just as great
But the thing about we badgers is we tend to be discreet
We don't just waste our vital juice on any brock we meet

But this pair at my entrance put on a mighty show
With "God!" and "Yes!" and "Please!" and "Jesus Christ!" and "Ah!" and "No!"
To find out what was going on, the brockeens they were keen
All I could do to keep them from witnessing the scene

Oh me name is Brock the badger and me tale is at an end
I'm on the move this very night, God knows where my journey'll wend
But the human being's antics have driven me awa'
Far from the hills and lakes and woods of dear ol' Cumbria

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Amos
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 12:40 PM

Jesus, derry, don't you have a day job anymore?? I am rolling on the floor. If I didn't have a separate office I'd be highly suspect of Internet abuse!!

A.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Matthew Edwards
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 02:03 PM

Well I guess derrymacash has hit the jackpot here. Loved the "Navvy Boots" one, and "Blanket on the Ground" - and now "Brock's Farewell" - brilliant.

Anyway it all just goes to prove that as Paddy Tunney sang:

When a man's in love he feels no cold...

Still here are a couple of attempts:

Twas in the Month of January

Twas in the month of January when the frost was all around,
The winter snows were falling fast, and lay thick on the ground,
I watched the TV in my room to find a wondrous sight,
To see the badgers sport and play within the woods at night.

But the wonder that my eyes beheld was an unexpected sort,
For a naked man and his lady bare so merrily did sport,
She only wore her bobble hat upon the ground as hard as iron,
But harder was the young man's power as they courted without tirin'.

He clasped his hands about her as the moon it shone so clear,
And so sweet were the loving words he whispered in her ear,
Whe a flashlight it disturbed them, and she said "I think they've copped us,
I think we're going to have to practice coitus interruptus."

Now I love nature in the raw whatever the reception,
But a bobble hat's no use at all as a form of contraception,
So remember when you're courting to wear a condom please,
Or you'll recall the badger's sett with a baby on your knees!

She wore a Yellow Bobble

Upon her head she wore a yellow bobble,
She wore in in the winter in the woodlands so they say,
And if you asked her why the heck she wore it;
She wore it for her lover who was badgering away.

Below her neck she hadn't got a stitch on,
All in the woods at midnight amid the winter snow,
And if you asked her how the heck she bore it;
She bared it for her lover who was badgering below.

Upon her breast her nipples they were swollen,
Her gentle eyes were rolling, as an oath she loudly cried,
And if you asked her why the heck she swore it;
She swore it for her lover who was badgering inside.

Between her legs she felt a lovely gushing,
As she had a Big O in the Great Outdoors,
And when he asked her, "How was that for you dear?"
She said "Ohhhh that was lovely, now badger me some more."

But sad to tell, this maiden and her true love,
Were spotted by a search patrol, and he fled just like a wimp.
Now if you ask her why the heck she's left him;
"I care not for my lover now his badger has gone limp."

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Deda
Date: 07 Jan 02 - 11:51 PM

Blue Movies
Tune = Foggy, Foggy Dew

At a motel for bachelors I stayed by myself
I settled in with the remote
And the only only thing I could find on TV
Was a boring nature show
They showed badgers in the summer time
And in the winter, too
When suddenly a couple, not badgers at all
Were on screen in the nude.

"He isn't a bachelor!" I thought to myself
"His wife is with him, too"
And the only, only thing she was wearing at all
Was a bobble hat, it's true
They courted in the wintertime
Though they were turning blue
And the only, only stitch that the two of them wore
Was a bobble hat, it's true

Now policemen with whistles and flashlights and dogs
Came plunging through the wood
And the lovers exposed, standing naked as frogs
Weren't feeling very good
He grabbed her hat to hide himself
She tried to do the same
But the only only thing they could do in the end
Was to run away in shame

At the motel for bachelors I room by myself
But I taped the badger show
And every single time that I answer the phone
I sell a video
They sold out in the wintertime
And in the summer, too
So the only only copies I have that are left
I'll be glad to sell to you!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Genie
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 01:48 AM

I won't comment on you other folks' entries yet, because I really don't like to read them until I post mine, lest I start plagiarizing them. I have glanced at the titles, though, to avoid choosing the same songs, and several of them seem hilarious just from that little bit!
This well may be my last entry in this challenge, because, I've read enough to know that Derrymacash is, as usual, burning up the literary road. (Besides, I do have a day job. My employer (i.e., me) lets me take off time, but she doesn't pay me for my days off.)

Genie

Bare Moon Rising
Parody lyrics by Genie
With apologies to Creedence Clearwater Revival

I see a bare moon a-rising,
I see a bobble hat to boot.
I'm seeing things that shake--it's fright'ning--
Two tourists in their birthday suits.

[Chorus:]
Don't touch that dial,
Th' cam's bound to make you smile
There's a bare moon on tonight. (Repeat)

I hear her panting and her blowing,
See his rear end a-flappin free.
I fear there's 'way too much a-showing!
Wonder if they know they're on TV!

[Chorus:]
Don't touch that dial,
The cam's bound to make you smile
There's a bare moon on tonight. (Repeat)

Quickly they get themselves together--
Night guard is not a party guy!
Aw, shucks! We're back to watchin' badgers--
Porn cam is over for tonight!

[Chorus:]
Don't touch that dial,
Badger cam might make you smile!
Could be a bare moon on tonight. (Repeat)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Clifton53
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 02:30 AM

What a bunch of harny divils.

Bush League Boffin'
Tune is Third Rate Romance

Checked into a nice hotel with a naturalistic bent
I came to see the badgers mate
Just turn on your T.V. and wait
That's what I was told
Watchin' the screen I think my eyes turned green
When I saw them come by
They settled down in the grass
But something about her ass
Told me she wasn't shy
I said " they don't look like badgers but I guess they'll do"
Bush League Boffin', these folks are gonna screw
She had a bobble top hat and a huge pair of hooters too
Bush League Boffin', what am I to do?

Well they got it on like fish in spawn and I watched them of course
She was lanky, supple and loose
He seemed a little bit boozed
But was hung like a horse

The grass and the lake seemed a little bit fake as they rutted like deer
The finish line was in sight
Slammin' her with all his might
As I reached for a beer
I said " this hotel can be a mighty entertainin' do"
Bush League Boffin', and nice room service too
I almost whipped my skippy but I said," that's crude"
Bush League Boffin', animals get lewd
Bush League Boffin, badgers in the nude
Bush League Boffin', check it out young dude

Clifton

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 02:53 AM

They Fill Up Our Lenses
Lyrics: Sonja W. Oates
Tune: Annie's song

They fill up our lenses
With their romp through the forest,
Like the jaybirds in springtime,
Undressed and untamed!
Naked forms on closed circuit
For the sleepy hotel guests.
As they feel up each other
They're feelin' no pain!

"Come let me show you
What they've got on TV, Hugh!
You'll be drowning in laughter
At their bare, flabby forms!
See the critters beside them--
Who knew badgers were voyeurs??--
Come take a look, kids!
Ya won't see this at home!"

They filled up our lenses
Till the night watchman caught 'em.
Toward the mountains they sprang then
From their roll in the snow!
"Now the forms on the TV
For us sleepy-eyed tourists
Is jest badgers and lynxes
And ol' horny toads!"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 02:58 AM

Some titles that sprang to my mind to parody for this one:
"You Oughta Be In Pictures"
"Draft Dodger Blues" (Bad Badger Blues?)
"How Can I Keep From Singing?" ("How Could We Keep Our Clothes On?")
"Piney Wood Hills"
"The Candidate's A Dodger" (The Camera's for the Badger)

Sonja

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 06:03 AM

A parody of "(The Dealin' Men From Crossmaglen Put) The Whiskey In Me Tay" as sung definitively by Tommy Makem.

THE STITCHIN' ON ME BOBBLE-HAt
My husband has a hobby, which leaves me rather coul'
He's a lover of the wildlife, insects, fish and fowl
Otters, deer and foxes, moles and voles and stoats
But the shy, nocturnal badger really gets my husband's goat
One evening late, he and his mates went on an overnight
With cameras and microphones, infra-red nightlights
In every hotel bedroom, before they hit the hay
Snug and warm and safe from harm they could watch the badgers play

The frost it wouldn't nip them, the wind their hides won't flay
Snug and warm and safe from harm they could watch the badgers play

And me being wild and reckless and hubby out of sight
I got on the phone to me fancy-man and I asked him "Are you right
For a bit of how's-your-father?" And he says "You dirty mare!
I wouldn't mind a bit of a ride out in the open-air"
I felt the blood rush to my cheeks as I began to blush
I 'magined the tease from a bit of breeze that's ticklin' my bush
"Oh" says I "go on, I'll give you one, I'll give you a time that's good
I'll just slip into my anorak and I'll meet you in the woods"

"All your saucy banter has put me in the mood
I'll just slip into my anorak and I'll meet you in the woods"

I wasn't to know the spot we chose was in the line of view
Of the infrareds and microphones and all that how-d'ye-do
And glued to their TV screens, the brock-watchers were in awe
The main attraction of the night was more than they bargained for
But the picture was quite grainy and the definition poor
I might not have been recognised but for the hat I wore
I'll regret I wore that headgear until my dying day
Cos the stitchin' on me bobble-hat gave me game away

It wasn't me facial features or tattoos I'm sad to say
But the stitchin' on me bobble-hat that gave me game away

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 07:17 AM

Derrymacash, Yeh dorty git, what`ll yer people say when thon stuff is printed out in next Sundays bulletin at the `Cash Chapel. Fair play to yeh, verse No 78 in Seven drunken nights, is No 1 and a sart for yer excommunacation. Slan Ard Mhacha.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 07:29 AM

ard mhacha, you're a cat man for puttin' the wine up me like thon! Still, I wouldn't be the first good one that the boys in the frocks had excommunicated! (Mind you, I don't think there's much danger of any stuff I write getting Maynooth's (or Newry's) imprimatur.)

I've one more up my sleeve for this wee go-round but then I think I'll dridge my bake!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 08:08 AM

And here is that one more! A parody of "The Gentleman Soldier" as recorded by - amongst others – the Dubliners and the Pogues. The tale has a twist which differs from the original.

THE JOLLY WOODSMAN
It's of a jolly woodsman as he's strolling through a glade
He cast his eyes about him and espied a pretty maid
Her cheeks were red as roses, her breasts were pert and fat
And on her head the maiden wore a woollen bobble-hat

"Hello my jolly woodsman" the maiden then did say
"Where are you in a hurry on this fine, warm summer's day"
He said "I'm for the tavern. But kindly tell me what
Possesses you in summertime to wear a bobble-hat?"

"This bobble-hat you mention has come across the sea.
My aunt who lives in Holland has knitted it for me.
I wear it in all seasons, to prohibit a mishap
For this yoke you call a bobble-hat is in fact a fine Dutch cap!"

"I fear you are mistaken" the woodsman then did say
"For though I am no expert, I would bet a full week's pay
That the object you are wearing upon your curly pow
Would not prevent conception, be it used no matter how"

"Well, then, me jolly woodsman, shall we put it to the test"
Boldly spoke the maiden and she started to divest
Off came skirt and petticoat, the latter dyed blood-red
But the maiden's woollen bobble-hat remained upon her head

All night they tossed and tumbled till the morning did appear
And the woodsman rose, put on his clothes and said "Farewell my dear
I have well enjoyed your favours" and he gave her arse a pat
"And I'm sure you won't get pregnant since you wore your bobble-hat"

When nine months had been and gone the maiden she was shamed
She bore a little woodsman and she didn't know his name
She cried "I've learnt the hard way, I've learnt the lesson that
You cannot make a Dutch cap from a woollen bobble-hat"

And woe and lamentation and misery and pain!
I'll never know a single day of happiness again
For I have been deserted and cruelly betrayed
By a jolly woodsman who wandered through my glade

Then striding through the clearing, the woodsman did appear
And swept the maiden off her feet and said "My sweetheart dear
You think that I've deserted, that I've been a dirty rat
But I wouldn't leave the girl I love in her woollen bobble-hat!"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Áine
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 10:03 AM

Geez! Keeping up with y'all and your creative output is getting to be a full-time job!! ;-)

Here are the cumulative Silver B.L.O.B.s for the offerings so far:

To Genie for this nifty naughty verse:

Infra-
red light at The Oasis
Was for critter lovers to peek,
But Ned and Pen now have red faces--
Four sets of blushing cheeks!!!

AND for this image interruptus:

Quickly they get themselves together--
Night guard is not a party guy!
Aw, shucks! We're back to watchin' badgers--
Porn cam is over for tonight!

To derrymacash for his bounty of badger bootie bits:

I stripped like Salome removing her veils
And shimmied and flashed and waggled my tail
'Neath the moon's slivery beams I was white as a swan
All except for me noggin, with me bobble-hat on

Ouch! A dirty great big pine-cone
Is digging in my twat
And the night air is so freezing
I must wear a bobble-hat
You are knobbly where I'm flabby
Where you're skinny, I am round
Wish I'd never heard you mention
That ol' blanket on the ground

I came home on a Monday night
As drunk as drunk could be
I spied my missus lying down
Beneath a spreading tree
And on her head a bobble-hat
And she's yelling out in glee
"If I wasn't drunk, I might have thunk
You were cuckolding me!"
Oh you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly oul' fool
And still you cannot see
I'm only taking a midnight stroll
In innocent company
Well it's many's the day I've wandered
A hundred miles or more
But an innocent stroll in the nude, me boys
I never saw before

Things came to a head
She scratched me with her claws, sir
When from the near hotel
We heard some wild applause, sir
The manager exclaimed
You gave my guests a treat, sir
And as a just reward
Please accept the bridal suite. Sir
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy
With me too-ra-loo-ra-laa
And me too-ra-loo-ra-laddy

But this pair at my entrance put on a mighty show
With "God!" and "Yes!" and "Please!" and "Jesus Christ!" and "Ah!" and "No!"
To find out what was going on, the brockeens they were keen
All I could do to keep them from witnessing the scene

I wasn't to know the spot we chose was in the line of view
Of the infrareds and microphones and all that how-d'ye-do
And glued to their TV screens, the brock-watchers were in awe
The main attraction of the night was more than they bargained for
But the picture was quite grainy and the definition poor
I might not have been recognised but for the hat I wore
I'll regret I wore that headgear until my dying day
Cos the stitchin' on me bobble-hat gave me game away

It wasn't me facial features or tattoos I'm sad to say
But the stitchin' on me bobble-hat that gave me game away

When nine months had been and gone the maiden she was shamed
She bore a little woodsman and she didn't know his name
She cried "I've learnt the hard way, I've learnt the lesson that
You cannot make a Dutch cap from a woollen bobble-hat"

To Amos for this delightful dab of a ditty:

Dunno why you gotta do me like that
With some hussy in a bobble-hat
Just a two-bit local skank
With a birthmark on her flank
You can say it wasn't you
But you've got a birthmark, too, and...

To MMario for this torrid tidbit of terpsichorean turpitude:

Not
Badgers!
That's a couple
"dancin'"
"Dancin'" horizontal.
She's still got her hat on!
Wow, this is getting' good.

To Matthew Edwards for these two lovely lyrics of love:

Now I love nature in the raw whatever the reception,
But a bobble hat's no use at all as a form of contraception,
So remember when you're courting to wear a condom please,
Or you'll recall the badger's sett with a baby on your knees!

Upon her head she wore a yellow bobble,
She wore in in the winter in the woodlands so they say,
And if you asked her why the heck she wore it;
She wore it for her lover who was badgering away.

To Deda for her consumate consumerism with:

At the motel for bachelors I room by myself
But I taped the badger show
And every single time that I answer the phone
I sell a video
They sold out in the wintertime
And in the summer, too
So the only only copies I have that are left
I'll be glad to sell to you!

To Clifton53 for this inciting section of, uhm, badger-watching:

The grass and the lake seemed a little bit fake as they rutted like deer
The finish line was in sight
Slammin' her with all his might
As I reached for a beer
I said " this hotel can be a mighty entertainin' do"
Bush League Boffin', and nice room service too
I almost whipped my skippy but I said," that's crude"
Bush League Boffin', animals get lewd
Bush League Boffin, badgers in the nude
Bush League Boffin', check it out young dude

To Sonja, for this bit of denver digging:

"Come let me show you
What they've got on TV, Hugh!
You'll be drowning in laughter
At their bare, flabby forms!
See the critters beside them--
Who knew badgers were voyeurs??--
Come take a look, kids!
Ya won't see this at home!"

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 11:25 AM

Jaysus … I can hardly tear myself away from this particular challenge! Hopefully this will be the last one … though no doubt some ribald parody will suggest itself when I'm least expecting.

To the tune of "(Take Her Up To) Monto"

BACK OF THE OASIS
I'm going to the wood-o
The crack it will be good-o
I'm really in the mood-o
Pull my pud!
I'm standing to attention
At the very mention
Of the main intention
Drain the spuds!

CHORUS
Back of the Oasis
Cover faces
Don't leave any traces
Langeroo … to you

It''ll be a hoolie
Nancy in her wollies
Really fills my goolies
Pump, pump, pump
I would even rather
She wore a balaclava
Gets me in a lather
Hump, hump, hump

CHORUS

Don't reveal your vadge or
Liberate your tadger
In front of the badgers
Or a TV crew
You'll hear some muffled snickers
As you drop your knickers
And then they'll show the pictures
On the evening news

CHORUS

Nancy's in position
Favoured by the Mission
And the breeze is swishing
Around my rear
Shall we do a swap, love?
Me to go on top, love?
C'mon, up you hop, love
Sit on here!

CHORUS

As they watch a replay
I hear some oul' glipe say
"Look at the arse on him, hey!
The big, fat whale"
Which causes me to stammer
"You dirty oul' back stabber
It takes a quare big hammer
To drive a big nail!"

CHORUS

To finish off my ditty
A flash of Nancy's titty
And then – oh what a pity!
We'll wander home
And so concludes the peep show
Meatshow, freakshow
If you want another treatshow
Grow your own!

CHORUS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Genie
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 06:03 PM

Now that I finally got all the words, I'm posting this to replace my original entry.
Genie

Midnight At The Oasis Village

Midnight At The Oasis,
Tourists lyin' in bed
While the badger cam traces, cases
Penelope and Ned.

Cam'ra's catching a full moon
Shining just for us.
While they're throwin' those snowballs,
Takin' pratfalls,
They work up a lotta lust!

Zoom in, camera's rollin' on!
Rats!  The rat's in the way!
Roll on, badger's good and gone,
But beaver's on the lawn!

They ain't wearin' no pants, sir!
Through th' snowy woods they streak!
He's a bare pot-bellied dancer,
midnight prancer,
Wearin' nothin' but a Sheik!

Seems our gal's got a suntan
With no tan lines at all,
It's nifty how Ned is bendin',
Presentin'
His rump and his c**k and balls.

Oh boy!  Critter cam is where it's at!
It all points to foreplay.
Oh, joy!  The chick with the bobble hat
Just tripped on an old bobcat!

The Inn don't need no Hustler channel
With hotel guests like these!
Oh, no!  They're bein' busted, dammit!
The guard just hollered "Freeze!"

Midnight At The Oasis,
Tourists go back to bed.
There's nothin' on but the critters,
Aw, sh*t, there's
No more Penelope and Ned.

(It's too badger not on the telly any more, kids!)

Here's the original song for reference.

 Midnight at the oasis

Midnight at the oasis,Send your camel to bed
Shadows painting our faces,Traces of romance in our heads

Heaven's holding a half moonShining just for us
Let's slip off to a sand dune,real soon, Kick up a little dust

Oh, Cactus is our friend. He'll point out the way
Come on 'til the evening ends, 'Til the evening ends

You don't have to answer, There's no need to speak
I'll be your belly dancer, [romancer] And you can be my sheik

I know your daddy's a sultan, A nomad known to all
With fifty girls to attend him, they all send him, Jump at his beck and call

Oh, Cactus is our friend, He'll point out the way
Come on 'til the evening ends, 'til the evening ends

But we don't need no harem, honey When I'm by your side
And you won't need no camel, oh no When I take you for a ride

repeat first verse

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: MMario
Date: 08 Jan 02 - 10:07 PM

good job!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Clifton53
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 02:52 AM

The Bad News Badgers
( D Day Dodgers)

I am a badger expert, I watch them work and play
I write for nature magazines, I go, I write, they pay
They sent me up to Penrith town
I brought some film, I needed none
For these are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

I checked into my hotel, the room was neat and clean
And there set in the armoire, a CCTV screen
Unpacked me bags, turned on the set
But I ain't seen, no badgers yet
For these are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

The lake was dark and pretty, the snow a picture card
The trees with heavy branches, beautified the yard
When what does my wonderin' eye behold
Two naked badgers, out in the cold
They are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

"Wait one bloody minute, this falls outside the regs
Tis plain to see these badgers,only have two legs"
I thought this pair a wee bit odd
But WOW the female, what a bod!
They are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

They seemed to like each other,if I may understate
I rubbed me eyes in wonder, as I watched them mate
Grumblin' and growlin', they did rut
The lady had one lovely butt
They are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

Then all of a sudden, their nest was all lit up
A classic case I thought, of Coitus Interrupt
Off they did go, into the night
I've never seen a more bouncy sight
For they are The Bad News Badgers In wintry Cumbria
They are The Bad News Badgers
In wintry Cumbria

Clifton

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 05:08 AM

(Mudself, when I posted this, I left out the verse that won me a Silver B.L.O.B!    Here's the "Midnight" parody with that verse included.  Can you delete the one previous one?)

Now that I finally got all the words, I'm posting this to replace my original entry.
Genie

Midnight At The Oasis Village
parody lyrics:  Genie

Midnight At The Oasis,
Tourists lyin' in bed
While the badger cam traces, cases
Penelope and Ned.

Cam'ra's catching a full moon
Flashing just for us.
While they're throwin' those snowballs,
Takin' pratfalls,
They work up a lotta lust!

Zoom in, camera's rollin' on!
Rats!  The rat's in the way!
Roll on, badger's good and gone,
But beaver's on the lawn!

They ain't wearin' no pants, sir!
Through th' snowy woods they streak!
He's a bare pot-bellied dancer,
Midnight prancer,
Wearin' nothin' but a Sheik!

Seems our gal's got a suntan
With no tan lines at all,
It's nifty how Ned is bendin',
Presentin'
His rump and his c**k and balls.

Oh boy!  Critter cam is where it's at!
It all points to foreplay.
Oh, joy!  The chick with the bobble hat
Just tripped on an old bobcat!

The Inn don't need no Hustler channel
With hotel guests like these!
Oh, no!  They're bein' busted, dammit!
The guard just hollered "Freeze!"

Infra-
red light at The Oasis
Was for critter lovers to peek,
But Ned and Pen now have red faces--
Four sets of blushing cheeks!!!

Midnight At The Oasis,
Guess we'll go back to bed.
There's nothin' on but the critters,
Aw, sh*t!  There's
No more Penelope and Ned.

(It's too badger not on the telly any more, kids!)

----------------------
BTW, here's the original song for reference.

Midnight at the oasis
Midnight at the oasis, Send your camel to bed
Shadows painting our faces,Traces of romance in our heads
Heaven's holding a half moonShining just for us
Let's slip off to a sand dune,real soon, Kick up a little dust
Oh, Cactus is our friend. He'll point out the way
Come on 'til the evening ends, 'Til the evening ends
You don't have to answer, There's no need to speak
I'll be your belly dancer, [romancer] And you can be my sheik
I know your daddy's a sultan, A nomad known to all
With fifty girls to attend him, they all send him, Jump at his beck and call
Oh, Cactus is our friend, He'll point out the way
Come on 'til the evening ends, 'til the evening ends
But we don't need no harem, honey When I'm by your side
And you won't need no camel, oh no When I take you for a ride
(repeat first verse)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Genie
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 05:12 AM

Derry, I loved your first bobble-hat ballad!
And your "blanket on the ground," takes me back to ... , well, never mind.
As for your "seven nights drunk," you pretty well covered the ground with that one! Mahvelous!!
Wonderful take-off on teddy bear's picnic; wish I'd thought of it first!
And I was gonna write one from the badger's point of view (based on something like "The Boxer" or "Wichita Lineman" ["I am a badger from ol' Cumbria"]), but you kinda said it all with "Brock's Farewell!" Bravo!

Matthew, I'm LOL at yours (songs, that is -- especially "She Wore A Yellow Bobble")! Such wordsmanship!!

Deda, your foggy, foggy dew story (especially the last verse) had me ROTFLMAO!

And Derry, your "stitchin' on me bobble hat" gave me a lesson or two in the idiom our cross-the-pond cousins, as well as a few belly laughs! And, bless ya, Derry, you had the bugger come back to the lass with his child in your last one!! Awwww......

Actually, folks, they're all hilarious! Keep it up!

Genie

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 06:27 AM

Many thanks for the kind words … I'm amazed that people read these ditties so carefully!

As for the lessons in idiom … have a wee gawk at Pay The Reckoning's Rants and Raves – article on "Montiaghisms". This lists a few of the dialect words used in the rural area around the southern shores of Lough Neagh where I grew up. (Of course some of the words and phrases are used elsewhere in Northern Ireland … the good folks of the Seven Derries wouldn't claim them exclusively as their own!)

Anyway … I had determined to l'ave this wee yoke alone for the time bein', but since yous nice people are good-mouthin' me, here's a wee skit on the oul' favourite "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night" as given a slindge by Planxty on their album of the same name.

Aidan Crossey
known in these here quarters as derrymacash
known elsewhere on the web as the editor of "Pay The Reckoning"


ME BOBBLE-HAT'S FROZEN TO ME HEAD
Me bobble hat's frozen to me head
Me outer clothes are long since shed
And I have lost me maidenhead
To a laddie that won me favour

CHORUS
Let me come in, the young man cried
Cold blow and the rainy night
Let me come in, the young man cried
I'll never come back again-o

Me father is working down the street
Me mother the bedroom key does keep
But down the stairs I'll shortly creep
And off we'll go together

CHORUS

When at last the woods they gained
She kissed his ruby lips and chin
And then began an act of sin
And the laddie he won her favour

CHORUS

Now you've had your way with me
Laddie won't you marry me
No me love that never can be
So fare thee well forever

CHORUS

And lying naked on the soil
This poor young maiden felt despoiled
And all the lad could do was smile
At the thought of the gift he gave her

CHORUS

But unbeknownst the pair were viewed
By a badger-watching multitude
They found the laddie's manners rude
And found in the lassie's favour

CHORUS

An angry mob surprised the lad
One of them called him a dirty cad
And one of them said that it made him mad
And called him a depraver

CHORUS

And so they put it to a vote
That they would hang him from a rope
Unless there was the slightest hope
That the laddie he would wed her

CHORUS

So the laddie gave consent
And to the church the couple went
The witnesses to the event
Said it was a match to savour

CHORUS

And shortly after they were wed
The lassie's taken to her bed
And bore a child whose hair was red
And the laddie's in a fervour

CHORUS

My hair's black and yours is too
Some other sweep has cleaned your flue
And I've been tricked into wedding you
So fare thee well forever

CHORUS

And so the lassie she did weep
That light was shone on her deceit
And wondered how she'd make ends meet
For herself and her little babe-o

CHORUS

Her father cursed, her mother swore
They beat her thirty-three times o'er
And said she should have thought before
She'd given of her favour

CHORUS

But when they saw the little whelp
Their hearts with joy did quickly melt
And they offered fifty sorts of help
To the daughter and her babe-o

CHORUS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 09:26 AM

Derrymacash yer a wonder,Cold blow, blown away it will never be the same again. They get better this is way up with the best. Your ever lovin` agent. Ard Mhacha.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 09:35 AM

Seconded fervently, Derry. You've a tongue o' pure gold.

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 10:02 AM

Go raibh mile maith agaibh, a h-Amos agus a h-ard mhacha.

(There's many's the cold blow roun' the bay shore or Kinnego Lough or Castors Bay, eh ard mhacha?)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Jan 02 - 01:25 PM

All of you versifiers are worthy people, I only give the `Cashman a wee bit of a boost to keep him at it. So keep them coming all of you Song Challengers, I can take a wet seat. Ard Mhacha.

duplicate message deleted by mudelf ;-)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 03:44 AM

Well, Derrymacash's already got the gold, silver, and bronze, but here goes, anyway (just so folks know he's not the only nut around here).
Sonja

On Badger TV
Parody lyrics: Sonja W. Oates
music (and some lyrics): Rose Of Tralee,The C. Mordaunt Spencer & Charles Glover

The pale moon was rising above the white mountain,
The sun was declining beneath the blue sea,
When I stray'd with my love thru the woods for some mountin',
Where we ended up naked on Badger TV:

She was lovely unclad as she offered a hummer, Yet 'twas not her beautiful bod that won me.
Oh no! 'Twas that bobble hat made me succumb there. It made me love Mary on Badger TV.

The white snows of winter their mantle were spreading,
And badgers sought shelter (much wiser than we!).
As we romped thro' the valley, our clothes we were shedding, not knowing we two were on Badger TV!

Then the guard flashed his torch on us both--what a bummer! Says he, "We've a dress code for guests here, you see!"
Says I, "Twas that bobble hat made me succumb here. It made me love Mary on Badger TV."

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: GUEST,Sonja
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 04:52 AM

Well, I thought I was done with this Challenge!, like Derrymacash, but, like him, I can't quit.
Sonja

Alexander's Ragtime Band
lyrics: Sonja W. Oates
music: Alexander's Ragtime Band (Irving Berlin) 1910

Come on and see, come on and see what they got on Badger Cam!
Come here, Marie! Come on and see--back in Penrith it'd be banned!

It's a display the Oasis has never aired before--
They're au naturel and they're goin' pretty far!
Fast thrusts to beat the band, Bam! Bam!
On the Badger Cam!

Well, I swan! They're runnin' on, their undies flappin' in their hands--
Here come da man, here come da man with the flashlight in his hand!
And all at once it's bobble hatted, red-faced, bare-assed jog time!
See how they run! It's lots of fun with the Oasis Badger Cam!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:26 AM

Genie …

Good parody (and of a song which, in my humble opinion, is fit only for parodying!).

Here's a pisstake of yet another song from "Cold Blowe And The Rainy Night"


B STANDS FOR BOBBLE, I SUPPOSE
As I went out one May morning
To take a pleasant walk
I hid myself in a badger's hole
To hear to lovers talk
To hear what they might say, my love
To hear what they might say
That I might know a little more about love
Before I went away

CHORUS O B stands for bobble I suppose
And H it stands for hat
If you think that yopu're goin' to have your wicked way with me
Get away out of that
Oh get away out of that my dear
Oh get away out of that
Cos I hear that you've done the dirty on me
And behaving like a prat

"Come lie you down beside me love
Together on the green
Cos it's a long three-quarters of year or more
Since together we have been"
"Oh, I'll not lie with you my love
I'll not give you a ride
For you've been courtin' another pretty maid
And your heart's no longer mine"

CHORUS
"Oh I will climb the tall tall tree
And I'll rob the wild bird's nest
If I can't get inside the pants
Of the girl that I love best"
"If I thought you loved me best my love
Then gladly I'd undress
But you can keep your sweet-talk going all night
You'll meet with no success"

CHORUS

But the canny boy with soothing tongue
He charmed the maiden fair
And soon he had her on her back
With her legs up in the air
Her naked derriere my love
Her naked derriere
He patted her bum and like a bodhran drum
The rhythm filled the air

CHORUS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:28 AM

Ooops ... some of my line breaks went a wee bit aglae. Ignore the above!

Genie …

Good parody (and of a song which, in my humble opinion, is fit only for parodying!).

Here's a pisstake of yet another song from "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night"


B STANDS FOR BOBBLE, I SUPPOSE
As I went out one May morning
To take a pleasant walk
I hid myself in a badger's hole
To hear to lovers talk
To hear what they might say, my love
To hear what they might say
That I might know a little more about love
Before I went away

CHORUS
O B stands for bobble I suppose
And H it stands for hat
If you think that you're goin' to have your wicked way with me
Get away out of that
Oh get away out of that my dear
Oh get away out of that
Cos I hear that you've done the dirty on me
And behaving like a prat

"Come lie you down beside me love
Together on the green
Cos it's a long three-quarters of year or more
Since together we have been"
"Oh, I'll not lie with you my love
I'll not give you a ride
For you've been courtin' another pretty maid
And your heart's no longer mine"

CHORUS

"Oh I will climb the tall tall tree
And I'll rob the wild bird's nest
If I can't get inside the pants
Of the girl that I love best"
"If I thought you loved me best my love
Then gladly I'd undress
But you can keep your sweet-talk going all night
You'll meet with no success"

CHORUS

But the canny boy with soothing tongue
He charmed the maiden fair
And soon he had her on her back
With her legs up in the air
Her naked derriere my love
Her naked derriere
He patted her bum and like a bodhran drum
The rhythm filled the air

CHORUS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 05:36 AM

Mudself, I goofed on the second line of this song, so I'm reposting it, with the correction. Can you please delete the first post? Thanks,

Sonja


Well, Derrymacash's already got the gold, silver, and bronze, but here goes, anyway (just so folks know he's not the only nut around here).

Sonja

On Badger TV
Parody lyrics: Sonja W. Oates
music (and some lyrics): Rose Of Tralee,The C. Mordaunt Spencer & Charles Glover

The pale moon was rising above the white mountain,
The guest were reclining to watch their TV's,
When I stray'd with my love thru the woods for some mountin',
Where we ended up naked on Badger TV:

She was lovely unclad as she offered a hummer, Yet 'twas not her beautiful bod that won me.
Oh no! 'Twas that bobble hat made me succumb there. It made me love Mary on Badger TV.

The white snows of winter their mantle were spreading,
And badgers sought shelter (much wiser than we!).
As we romped thro' the valley, our clothes we were shedding, not knowing we two were on Badger TV!

Then the guard flashed his torch on us both--what a bummer! Says he, "We've a dress code for guests here, you see!"
Says I, "Twas that bobble hat made me succumb here. It made me love Mary on Badger TV."

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 06:45 AM

Bollocks! I still hadn't managed to clean up the errors to the extent that I'd have liked.

Ignore both posts above!

Sonja …

Good parody (and of a song which, in my humble opinion, is fit only for parodying!).

Here's a piss-take of yet another song from "Cold Blow And The Rainy Night"


B STANDS FOR BOBBLE, I SUPPOSE
As I went out one May morning
To take a pleasant walk
I hid myself in a badger's hole
To hear to lovers talk
To hear what they might say, my love
To hear what they might say
That I might know a little more about love
Before I went away

CHORUS
O B stands for bobble I suppose
And H it stands for hat
If you think that you're goin' to have your wicked way with me
Get away out of that
Oh get away out of that my dear
Oh get away out of that
Cos I hear that you've done the dirty on me
And behaving like a prat

"Come lie you down beside me love
Together on the green
Cos it's a long three-quarters of year or more
Since together we have been"
"Oh, I'll not lie with you my love
I'll not give you a ride
For you've been courtin' another pretty maid
And your heart's no longer mine"

CHORUS

"Oh I will climb the tall tall tree
And I'll rob the wild bird's nest
If I can't get inside the pants
Of the girl that I love best"
"If I thought you loved me best my love
Then gladly I'd undress
But you can keep your sweet-talk going all night
You'll meet with no success"

CHORUS

But the canny boy with soothing tongue
He charmed the maiden fair
And soon he had her on her back
With her legs up in the air
Her naked derriere my love
Her naked derriere
He patted her bum and like a bodhran drum
The rhythm filled the air

CHORUS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 79
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Jan 02 - 09:12 AM

Sonja and Derrymacash, a Boul of Badger Broth to the pair of youse, a laugh a line, great stuff. Ard Mhacha.