Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Cruiser
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 12:40 PM

What Time Do You Have to Be Back to Heaven Razzy Bailey

You've Got that Leavin' Look in Your Eyes

Must You Throw Dirt In My Face Charlie Louvin

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 12:32 PM

Warren Zevon has the line "Granpa's pissed his pants again" and The Crash Test Dummies "Someday I'll have a disappearing hairline, someday I'll wear pyjamas in the daytime"

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Cruiser
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 11:48 AM

I Just Don't Like This Kind of Livin'   Ole Hank

I'll Never Get Out of This World Alive! Hank

Slip Slidin' Away   Paul Simon

Slippin' Into Darkness

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 11:38 AM

I was waiting my turn in the doctor's office when in "walked" an elderly man with one leg. He was accomapnied by a very concerned son and daughter-in-law.

I have learned to recognize mischief in a man's eyes so I started chatting with him. Poor circulation and diabetes had claimed his leg. He was very frustrated at relying on other people to get around.

"On the other hand" I said "now you can be a pirate." His family looked at me as if I was insane as I crooned "You can't be a pirate with all of your parts." As expected, the "invalid' cracked up laughing.

Might not work in every venue but...

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Scoville
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 11:37 AM

We actually got a REQUEST at a nursing home for "Streets of Laredo". The guy said he was celebrating that he'd lived long enough to avoid dying young.



Swing Low, Sweet Chariot

The old woman's lament (life is a toil and life is a trouble/beauty will fade and riches will flee...)

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Cruiser
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 11:32 AM

Knockin' On Heaven's Door (at least better than the alternative)

The Devil Went Down to Georgia

Tomorrow Never Comes Slim Whitman

Beyond on Sunset Hank Williams (actually a beautiful song to sing)

I Just Told Mama Goodbye Hank Williams

Long Black Limousine

Little Rosewood Casket

Streets of Laredo (Dyin' Cowboy)

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 11:15 AM

One that actually would probably go over very well in many assisted living and independent retirement residences - but that I wouldn't do in a "Memory care" facility - is the parody of Tom Paxton's "Last Thing On My Mind" written as a tribute to him for his 60th birthday: I Can't Recall What Was The Last Thing On My Mind.

I'm not sure I'd do "If I Only Had A Brain," though. ;-D

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 09:19 AM

I've recently done two short concerts, one for Age Concern, and one for a local hospice.

Most enjoyed songs?

"Hypochondria" and "I'm Awfully Well for the Shape That I'm In".

They laughed and laughed.

Don T.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,ibo
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 08:27 AM

If tomorrow never comes    I remember you      litle boxes

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Splott Man
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 07:37 AM

I used to do a lot of geriatric wards and old peopples homes. One of my staples used to be I Gotta Woman With One Leg (by Wizz Jones & Alan Tunbridge I believe). I'd just got to the very funny verse about a glass eye, when in walked the warden, and guess what? she had one.

I didn't get a return booking.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 07:28 AM

An entertainer using a karaoke machine recently visited the nursing home where I work and sang the pop song "Sexbomb". What a choice!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Mooh
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 07:22 AM

Who was that anyway, Engelbert Humperdinck?

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Mooh
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 07:20 AM

Predecease me, let me go...

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: pavane
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:57 AM

Mrs Pavane avoids "Killing me softly"

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 04:16 AM

there is this line in one version of Knees Up Mother Brown, which contains the line, "I'll saw your legs right orf!"

Not one for the amputee ward.......I have found!

Also in George Formby there are things in Cleaning Windows about spying on old ladies undressing..." more like 80 than eighteen.and theres another verse bout an old maid.......

Okay til you get an audience full of octogenearians. the two verses together....hm. I think not. One at least has to go.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 09:40 PM

It's Later Than You Think!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 21 Jan 03 - 09:00 PM

True story: I once phoned a Life Insurance company regarding cause of death: while they investigated my enquiry and put the phone on"hold", the unmistakable strains of Queen's "Another One Bites the Dust"!!
TB

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 21 Jan 03 - 08:55 AM

I had some friends who were about to start singing 'Lord of the Dance' at a concert for paraplegics. Stopped themselves just in time...

Slight twist on a comment above - Anything by Robert Zimmerframe;-)

On a serious note one of the best songs about getting old is 'Growing old with Naome' by Ralph McTell. Another good one to find, dunno who it is by, is 'Bonny belle of Broughton'.

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 20 Jan 03 - 02:00 PM

That "Papa's Getting Old Mama's Getting Hot" sounds like a good 'un. I'd like to hear it.

Genie

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Jan 03 - 01:45 PM

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 15 Dec 02 - 06:56 AM

Do you mean am I being my own Secret Santa, Nathan? Nah.

But here's another of those song titles that takes on new meaning in nursing homes:

"He'll Have To go"

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Amergin
Date: 14 Dec 02 - 12:14 PM

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie - PM
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 09:43 PM

and be your own Secret Santa, too!



is that what you're doing, Genie? bg

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 14 Dec 02 - 12:08 PM

Just thought of another one:

"Try to remember"

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Jenny O
Date: 07 Dec 02 - 03:55 AM

" Everybody's talking at me....I don't hear a word they sayin'...only the echoes of my mind...."

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Genie's Secret Santa
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 01:01 AM

      0
     / \
    /   \
   [|||||]
     0j0
   { <-> ) ---Ho Ho Ho (Heh Heh Heh) .....
    (   )
     (_)
  

Oh! Christmas time is coming, Christmast time is coming, It's my busiest time of year!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 05 Dec 02 - 12:28 AM

Santa, you already posted to this thread? That'd narrow it down a bit, now, wouldn't it?

BTW,
"That's My Weakness Now" is a perfect one for this thread!

Genie

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Genie's Secret Santa
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 11:43 PM

Ah Ah ! there you go trying to sneak some clues out of unsuspecting 'catters, like poor old DougR. I'm not DougR , or M.Ted. I'm just me. Anyhow, they both play much better than I do.

Here's some more songs to what I have already posted:

Feed Your Frined with a Long Handled Spoon.
Grandpa's getting younger every day (a song to sing)
It must be swell to be laying out dead
Let the Zoomers Drool
Long As You've Got Your Health
Never Let Your Left Hand Know What Your Right Hand Is Doing
Papa's Getting Old Mama's Getting Hot.
Please Don't Talk About Me When I'm Gone.
Frank Crumit's "Prune Song"
Shaking the Blues Away
That Chick's Too Young Too Fry
That's My Weakness Now (oi)
Unloved and Unclaimed

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 09:43 PM

and be your own Secret Santa, too!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: kendall
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 09:12 PM

Doug, you can also hide your own Easter eggs.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Spreznib
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 07:54 PM

either best or worst, depending on the particular nursing home. Harry Nilsson got a british senior citizen's choir to sing along with him (on the album Son of Schmilsson) "I'd rather be dead, than wet my bed.....I'll tie my tie, till the day I die, but if I have to be fed, then I'd rather be dead...."

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Coyote Breath
Date: 04 Dec 02 - 07:46 PM

Oh Death

CB

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Argenine
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 10:32 PM

Yeah, Doug, and you get to hear new jokes every day, too!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: DougR
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 01:52 PM

"I'll be glad when you're dead you rascal you!"

Someone told me Alzheimers isn't so bad. You meet a lot nice new people every day!

DougR

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: vectis
Date: 03 Dec 02 - 11:24 AM

"In heaven there is no beer"
That's why we drink it here

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: khandu
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 10:49 PM

Dem Bones, dem bones ,dem dry bones...

My Farewell Party

Oh, That Smell, can you smell that smell, the smell of death's around you. (What is the name of that Lynryd Skynyrd song?)

Just Enough to Keep me Hanging On

"Feel Like I'm Fixin' to Die" Rag

k

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 10:36 PM

Jenny O, that's the idea!

And in psychiatric units, never sing:

"Do You Hear What I Hear?"

Genie

Strupag, I always heard that song with a lot more than only two in the bed (usually it started out with about eight and it finally gets down to two).

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Strupag
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 09:20 PM

How about
There were two in the bed and the little one said;
Roll over!

Andy

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 07:32 PM

So that the Parkinsons people don't feel left out, there was a song in the 60's called "Shaking all over", not to mention "Shake, rattle and roll".

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: X
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 06:28 PM

We once did "Sam Stone" at a VA hospital.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Bill
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 03:50 PM

Get up and go by Pete Seager might just provoke a reaction.
Bill (the sound)

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 03:34 PM

Marion, everybody, THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE A SILLY THREAD!

I'm not really looking for songs that are inappropriate for nursing homes -- just song titles or phrases that have at least a double entendre in that setting (at least to the staff and many residents)!

If you gave the activity director (or nursing staff) a playlist for an Alzheimer's unit that inlcluded
"Urge For Goin'"
"Don't Fence Me In"
"The Wanderer"
"Headin' For The Last Roundup"
and
"Try To Remember"
they might have to stifle a chuckle.

That's what the thread was about (sort of a sister thread to the one about changing song titles for an aging population).

Genie

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Marion
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:53 PM

Genie, I sing "Don't Fence Me In" all the time, and people seem to like it.

Also, I often sing "The Gambler" which people also seem to enjoy, but I'm a little uncomfortable singing the line, "The best that you can hope for is to die in your sleep..."

Marion

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Scabby Douglas
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 01:24 PM

Definitely not Shel Silverstein's "Still Gonna Die"



Cheers


Steven

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,JennyO
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:52 PM

What about "Me 'usband's got no courage in 'im",
and there was a line in a song which went "I never knew what day it was----"

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:50 PM

In the movie Ishtar, which the critics hated but I absolutely loved, Dustin Hoffman's character wrote a song for some regular patrons at the restaurant where he played: I'm Leaving Some Love in My Will.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GutBucketeer
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:46 PM

Old and in the Way
See That My Grave is Kept Clean - Blind Lemon Jefferson
Fixin' To Die - Dylan
My Back Pages - Dylan
I Want A Good Man (And I Want Him Bad) - Annette Hanshaw
Get Away Old Man Get Away - Frank Crumit

More later

JAB

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:32 PM

Never sing "I Can't Help But Wonder Where I'm Bound" -- or, for that matter, "I Can't Help But Wonder Why I'm Bound" in the "locked unit."

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: Genie
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 12:30 PM

Declan, lots of times the nursing home and retirement home residents are the first ones to make jokes about Alzheimer's, arthritis, and even death. I can sometimes join them in the joke, since many of these folks are my parents' age, so I'm not far behind. But if I were a 20- or 30-something telling arthritis jokes, it'd be kinda like a honkie telling black ghetto jokes, I think.

Genie

Good one, Kendall! LOL!
(That's the kind of song title I'm looking for!

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: kendall
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 08:40 AM

I'm Heading for the last roundup.

Subject: RE: Songs NOT to sing in nursing homes!
From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git
Date: 02 Dec 02 - 07:35 AM

I'm not allowed to sing any songs in this bloomin' nursing 'ome any more. As soon as I starts, one of the nurses blows the whistle an' they all jumps on me - Big Bertha usually sits on my kisser - which I'd enjoy if it wernt for her flatulence wot knocked me out cold last time. I woz only singing the one abaht "The 'airs on her dicky-dido 'ang dahn to 'er knees". Mindyer, Big Bertha's start well below 'er knees and go all the way upwards and when matron 'asn't shaved for a week, 'er beard goes right down 'er neck.

If any of yer poncey folk clubs wants some real songs - why don't yer give me a go. That also goes for any of you young birds like that Liz the Squeak (I used to 'ave a bird wot sqeaked - but a bit of vaseline used to cure that) or that there Mrs Duck (I like girls wot ducks down) an also that PussyPiddle or whatever she calls 'erself - they all sound like real young go-ers.