BS: The Criminal Mind At Work

Subject: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: GUEST,Ripley
Date: 01 Feb 03 - 10:15 PM

Stupid-Criminals Hall of Shame

From time to time we hear about criminals who achieve new levels of stupidity *while* also breaking the law.

Virginia:
Two men in a pickup truck went to a new-home site to steal a refrigerator. Banging up walls, floors, etc., they snatched a refrigerator from one of the houses, and loaded it onto the pickup. The truck promptly got stuck in the mud, so these brain surgeons decided that the refrigerator was too heavy. Banging up *more* walls, floors, etc., they put the refrigerator BACK into the house, and returned to the pickup truck, only to realize that they locked the keys in the truck--so they abandoned it.

Subject: RE: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Hrothgar
Date: 01 Feb 03 - 10:16 PM

But at least they remained cool ...

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: saulgoldie
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 09:54 AM

As entertaining as this all is, it is also tragic. The "lesser able" criminals are remanded to physical acts in which they so often get trapped by their own ineptness, while the more clever and capable ones are using loopholes in business laws and practices and electronic means to safely steal vastly greater sums with negligible risk.

As funny as some of these tales are, I also feel sad for the perps who I believe would probably be willing to work at a real job if it provided dignity and a livable wage.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 10:30 AM

Perhaps the successful ones should start an educational center.

I can see the matchbook covers now --

"You can be a BETTER criminal!!"

"My loot went from $35 a night to over $300,00 a year in LESS THAN SIX MONTHS!"

"Thanks to your training I am now fencing over $5000 a day in stolen goods with NO RISK to myself or my family! Thanks! I would recommend the Advanced College of Criminality to ANYONE!"

"ACC changed ny life!! No more stupid 7-11 heists for me!! I am making money hand over fist in white-collar jobs and have a secure future!"

Only in America....


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: leprechaun
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 12:57 PM

Most criminals don't get caught because of the schooling fish scenario. Like in my town. We have a thousand drug dealers, and only seven narcotics detectives. There's just not enough time in the day.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: *daylia*
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 06:02 PM

Amos I think the school you're imagining already exists - isn't that where all the lawyers and politicians graduate from? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 06:49 PM

Man, these kids in Virginia ain't got a lick of sense.

One kid, who had beaten the "death penalty* in Virginia wrote a letter to the Prosecutor (Commonwealtyh's Attorney) bragging of raping his victim before killing her. In Virginia, he couldn't get the death penalty for murder unless it was happened while comitting another felony. Well, his bragging got him a new trial with the letter used as evidence.

He was sentenced to death 2 weeks ago.

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 06:54 PM

Sounds like he had enough sense to follow through on his original self-destructive intent, Bobert! At least he could write.

Hope he fries nicely.


A

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Sorcha
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 06:57 PM

Ann Arbor, Michigan--Man walked into BurgerKing with a gun and demanded money. Clerk said she couldn't open the cash drawer without a food order. Man ordered onion rings. Clerk told him no onion rings on the breakfast menu. Man gave up and walked away.

Kentucky--Two men tried to break into a cash machine and couldn't. They attached a chain to the bumper of the truck and tried to pull the front off. Instead, the bumper came off. They got scared and took off. Left chain and bumper attached to cash machine. Liscense plate was still on the bumper..............

(I've got lots more)

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 07:26 PM

People have to learn, and these were pronably beginners. A spell in a university of crime should mean they come out with a better grasp of the elements of criminality. And without a student loan to repay.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: C-flat
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 07:40 PM

A fuuny one I remember from a few years back was the security camera footage of a late-night reveller in Sunderland who decided to smash his way into a store front by picking up a drain cover and throwing through the shop window.
Having successfully raised the heavy cover above his head, the master criminal took a couple of paces back to afford him the neccessary momentum to throw it.
Unfortunately for our Moriarty he fell down the very drain the cover was meant to be protecting and was laid there for some time with a broken leg untill the police arrived to arrest him.
I reckon he didn't have a leg to stand on!

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: harvey andrews
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 07:42 PM

Hope he fries nicely.

Amos.All that work on those wonderful songs about the best of humanity and you hope a fellow human being fries?
You hope it because he was a murdering rapist.So for you cold blooded murder is then okay. Others would gas them because they're Jews, fly planes into them because they're Americans, stab them because they're black, beat them to death because they're crying children....or kill them because they wouldn't consent to sex. Who draws the line on the acceptability of murder?
The fact that Europe has done away with state murder seems to me and many others like one of its great strengths. The debate on length of sentence is another matter.
I suppose it's the old arguement..do two wrongs make a right my friend?

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Melani
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 07:47 PM

From the other side: My husband once inadvertantly helped someone steal his next-door-neighbor's refrigerator. He knew the guy was moving out and didn't think anything about it when he saw two guys with a truck carrying the fridge out of the house. He said, "Hi, where's Mike?" "Oh, Mike just went to the store for a minute," one guy replied. "Can you give us a hand with this?" A few minutes after they drove off, Mike arrived, and ran over yelling, "Hey, what happened to my refrigerator?"

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 07:48 PM

Although I don't know, Harvey, I suspect that Amos's tongue was planted pretty firmly in cheek.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Brakn
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 07:51 PM

Hmmmmm.............
Today (Sunday afternoon) I was playing in Liverpool City centre and when I had finished I went to get my car and found that the driver side window had been smashed in. All that was taken was £1.50!

I had drive back to Manchester with no window and had to cancel the night gig in Bury. Just had to tell someone!

Annoyed?

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: harvey andrews
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 07:51 PM

Ah!Did I miss it Amos? It's just something I can't joke about.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Amos
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 09:01 PM

Harvey:

Ya know, I do not really want to see anyone fry, generally speaking. I abhor the notion that killing someone resoves his criminality or even that it somehow balances things. I was venting because the notion of his doing those things makes me blind angry .

But I do get this little surge of bitterness when I think of some young woman losing first her security, then her last shred of womanly dignity, and finally her last breath to this guy and it kinda makes me think I should make an exception in his case. Not state-sponsored. Just a vengeful moment of anger. We are desperate for better solutions when our feelings are outraged and assaulted by this kind of story. The guy was plainly death-bent, and ready to take others with him. You can understand how mobs get started.

A

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: GUEST,misophist
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 09:42 PM

Although in 99 44/100 per cent of the cases the death penalty is too much of a risk to apply; sometimes it isn't. Mercy is pointless unless there is first justice. If there is always mercy then you have neither. And just what IS justice? Try as I may, I can't come up with anything better than restitution or it's equivalent.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: GUEST,Uncle_DaveO
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 10:08 PM

I remember reading in the paper, MANY years ago, the following incident:

A guy comes in to rob a bank. Multiple long lines, for multiple tellers.   Stands through a long line, and slips a note, written on a withdrawal slip, to the teller: "This is a hold up! Give me all your cash!"

The teller, sweetly tells him, "Oh, that's a withdrawal! This is a deposits-only window. You need to go to the second window down."

He obediently goes to the second window down, and stands in line until the police, alerted by the first teller, come in and arrest him!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: leprechaun
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 10:56 PM

I don't work on any wonderful songs, but I'd be personally willing to fry that Virgina POS slowly. I'm just a vicious sonofabitch, I guess.

Gassing somebody because they're Jewish and frying somebody because they're a sadistic murdering rapist isn't comparable.

But I still don't understand how the prosecutor got a second shot at him without running into double jeopardy.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Sorcha
Date: 02 Feb 03 - 11:11 PM

Then there was the guy who wanted a little beer and tried to throw a cinder block through the liquor store window.........window was plexiglass. Cinder block bounced. Knocked the dude out.......set off alarm.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Gurney
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 03:51 AM

Suggest you all put "Darwin Awards' on a search engine. They collect these stories, and point out the ones where the perp paid the ferryman, thus removing him/herself from the gene pool (Darwin, OK?)
They are very funny for a while, but you'll lose some faith in the human race.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 06:48 AM

Then there was the man who threw a brick through a jewellers window, and as the security grill started to close stuck his hand in and took the first thing he touched....His brick!

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 07:26 AM

I can imagine how someone might think that judicial killing was be right and necessary in certain circumstances. I find it harder to understand how anyone could take any pleasure in the idea.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Davetnova
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 09:16 AM

For your amusement Dumb criminals

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Grab
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 12:42 PM

McGrath, Harvey: There would be no pleasure in killing the guy. However, there would be a great deal of relief in knowing that he wasn't free to rape and murder any more women. Please remember that not only did he rape and murder her, he took pleasure in doing so, and was proud of having done it.

Harvey, being a Jew/black/child is not a crime, nor does being one brutalise and kill other people. Please don't be ridiculous.

The primary purpose of criminal punishment is to keep society safe, and for some dangerous criminals who show no remorse for their actions and/or have committed such heinous crimes that they can never again be trusted to live in society, the only way to keep the rest of society safe is to ensure they are never allowed back into society. Locking up for life is one way of achieving this. Judicial murder is another way.

Personally, my only problem with judicial murder is ensuring that the person is actually guilty. There are too many cases in the past where the police have, either deliberately or accidentally, got things horribly wrong. However if the evidence is overwhelming and the criminal not only admits to doing the crime but also takes pride in it, I don't have a problem. Is it worse to kill the person cleanly than to let them suffer in some hell-hole for the next 60 years?

Graham.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Wesley S
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 01:56 PM

There was some nimrods over in Arlington Texas that removed the gas oven from the apartment they were moving out from. Of course the gas wasn't off and the theves didn't bother to crimp off the gas line so it eventually exploded. The family that suffered the most severe injuries had just moved next door the previous month from war torn Kosivo.

The lawyer for the theves defended them by saying they were too dumb to realise what they were doing was dangerous.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: harvey andrews
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 02:25 PM

Harvey: There would be no pleasure in killing the guy. However, there would be a great deal of relief in knowing that he wasn't free to rape and murder any more women. Please remember that not only did he rape and murder her, he took pleasure in doing so, and was proud of having done it.

Harvey, being a Jew/black/child is not a crime, nor does being one brutalise and kill other people. Please don't be ridiculous.

Yes, locking up for life means he is not free to do it again and can be released if subsequently found innocent.
I am not being ridiculous in pointing out that many people have justified killing in cold blood.You have just done the same. For you it is allright to strap a human being down and electrocute them or whatever at the behest of the state. That's what the guards in Buchenwald did with gas. The state said it was okay, so they did it and felt it was justified. That's what the hijackers of the planes did to the Trade Centre. They felt completely justified. In their terms they killed only criminals too.
There is just too much killing, and in a country as strongly Christain as America I find the fact that a President who constantly spouts Biblical text authorises state sponsored death massively hypocritical.
Myra Hindley died in jail. Neither I nor anyone else I know regrets that for a moment. But I am glad that as a citizen of this country I don;t have her blood on my hands as she had the blood of those tortured children
Again, two wrongs don't make a right.

Subject: RE: BS: The Criminal Mind At Work
From: Gareth
Date: 03 Feb 03 - 07:20 PM

On a lighter note ! - And this is a true story - culled from the files of the Cornhill Insurance.

Picture the scene - The High St in Reading, and a shop with a plate glass window. Down the road comes yer typical thicko, wearing his 'Doc Martins'.

Yeah ! he finks, let's kick this window in. The plate glass shatters. Down come a large, heavy, and sharp bit of glass.

First time out of Pantomine that Thames Valley Police played Prince Charming " Is this your 'Doc Martin' and foot Sir ???"

Now some of the more sensative of Mudcatters may think that I am callus - Well perhaps I am, but the moral is :-

If you persue a course of action, you must be prepared to acept the consequences of such actions !" or translated into Sarf Lundon criminal vernacular - " If you can't do the time, don't do the crime "

Gareth