MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: open mike
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 10:51 PM

HAS ANY ONE SEEN THE x-FILES ABOUT BIG BLUE?
AN AQUATIC MONSTER SIMILAR TO NESSIE WHO WAS
IN A LAKE IN--WHERE? GEORGIA?

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 09:01 PM

Cozy? Fit all these people into this hot tub for a dip and we'll find out what "cozy" is.

May I have my foot back when you're finished standing on it? Oh you're not standing on it? So that's not your foot? Is it somebody else's foot? Well if it's not your foot and it's not somebody else's foot what in the hell is it?

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Peg
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 08:48 PM

Thanks, MMario...it sounded nice with the English accent, anyway...

Okay, folks, it's getting a bit too cozy in here: anyone for a dip in the hot tub and then a roll in the snow???

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: MMario
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 08:37 PM

Peg - I think that is a *very* good description of your voice.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Cluin
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 06:47 PM

*making a note*

...gotta remember that one...

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Peg
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 06:40 PM

Bailey's Irish Cream is, to me, a combination of different flavors, like coffee, hazelnut, almond, etc. I am sure it is based on something specific but can't think what that is at the moment...it makes a lovely drink in coffee, with or withour whippedcream, or over ice...

One of the nicest compliments/come-ons ever: when, at a casual   song circle that happened impromptu around a campfire at the Rollrights, two days after Summer Solstice, a handsome young men with a guitar said to me, after I sang something or other, "Your voice is like Irish Cream pouring over ice."
I dunno if it was or it wasn't but he got lucky anyway!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: open mike
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 06:24 PM

what aRE SPICY PUMPKIN DRINKS/ ?
i found some pumpkin ale but it
didn't taste like squash...
here is some cat nip for the
kitties...should prove entertaining.
and how about a big crock pot of
hot spiced/mulled cider to add a
wonderful aroma to the air...
cinnamon! cloves! orange peel!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: artbrooks
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 02:17 PM

Hey! I gotta record player! {wonder where I put that crank?}

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 01:20 PM

I hate to admit it, but I've never tried Bailey's. What's it taste like, Peg? I've had enough of that pumpkin drink for now.

Sage leans back in the hot tub, listening to the silliness of Stan Boreson. She squints, rubs her eyes, and peers into the rafters.

Who's that up there with the cat? Wait! WAIT!

No Cannonballs!

Look OUT! Incoming!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Peg
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 11:14 AM

ooh, Liz thanks for that link! I did see The Price of Milk but I think he was short-haired and clean-shaven...he is much hotter as Eomer! Too bad he is all the way down in Australia!!!

(Peg begins to drown her sorrows in Bailey's)

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 11:10 AM

Whoa, Sage thinks, as she walks out of the side hallway door where the tiny tavern office is located (and where it looks like the bills were all paid on that VISA card this week, through secure internet servers) we need to have Max come take a look at this computer in here. It seems to have crashed, just like mine at home! (She is ready to turn hers on and tell it C:format and start from scratch!)

I'm not much of a performer myself, but I've brought in some old technology, if anyone has a record player around here. I brought some Stan Boreson christmas parodies and four of Ed McCurdy singing some of his Dalliance songs. Just in case no more live music happens (the hot tub is getting full, and so far no one has taken in a musical instrument).

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 05:06 AM

Peg - singing from the same hymn sheet sister!!!

Phroooaaarrrrrrrrr

Now slide on over to that bottle of Baileys and lets have a girlie moment.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Dec 03 - 12:45 AM

Give 'em to Spaw -- pheasant under gas!!!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 10:50 PM

soaking...soaking...

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 07:30 PM

By God! He's figured it out! Golden Retrievers are so called because the are specially bred to retrieve golden pheasants ! Rather pretty things, aren't they? But, what the hell! We gotta have sustenance! You dogs get off your lazy asses and go retrieve a couple dozen of 'em! Fetch 'em back an' give 'em to Mmario. Dunno if he's got any glass to put 'em under but he's an imaginative guy. He'll think of somethin'.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Cluin
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 06:18 PM

Well, I'm in the mood for some eggnog... a cup of holiday spirit, straight from the chicken's ass!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 05:57 PM

Robin wanders back "Anyone for Cheesecake"? No, no, no, the stuff you eat!

Robin

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: InOBU
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 05:47 PM

HEY! Some one pop over to Toronto and bring Heather and Rick out here!!!! Cheers Larry

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 05:34 PM

Robin can be seen playing the Comb.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 05:24 PM

Or even better, Very Tom Jones!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Peg
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 10:19 AM

Old farts with beards? Hmm, maybe in a few years! though there's a young one with a beard I like more and more: Karl Urban, who plays Eomer in Return of the King. Yummy! (I saw it on Thursday at a press screening).

Quail? I do not know the literary reference, but I would be happy to have a goat cooking the little things. My dad used to raise them in our garage. I can't remember why. He raised chinchilla for a time, too.

I think these birds would do nicely if we rub them with garlic and olive oil, crushed thyme, black pepper and coarse salt, and spit-roast them over the fire...no forks and knives allowed, hands only! very Henry the Eighth...

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Dead Horse
Date: 06 Dec 03 - 05:18 AM

Somebody mention "Old farts with beards"?
Taint no way to talk about my wife!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:21 PM

Naw! That pinup guy'll never work. You know Mudcat wimmen like old farts with beards. Well... maybe it's not so much likin' 'em as feelin' sorry for 'em. Sorta like stray Golden Retrievers. By the way, what's a Golden and why did they have to breed a special kind of dog just to retrieve 'em? Wouldn't Labrador Retrievers have worked just as well? Just get 'em to go retrieve a few Goldens after they've finished retrieving Labrador.

Somebody pass me a banjo and I'll shut up.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: moonglow
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:08 PM

-looks around to see if anyone is watching-

Moon straps herself into the harness, cautiously pushes the red button, and is flipped into the air.

Sitting in the rafters, she looks down at the party and pets a cat who happens to be up there too.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: GUEST,Ralphs
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 10:03 PM

Har! Greetings, Mudcat people! Har! In case you haven't met us, we are Ralphs. Har! Ralphs are the most annoying race of more-or-less humanoid types in the known Universe. Har! What's so annoying about Ralphs is that we say "Har!" at the end of every sentence. Har! It really starts to get on people's nerves after a while. Har! We just noticed that those stinking freds had stopped by to wish you happy holidays, so we thought we'd do the same. Har!

So... Happy Harlidays! Har! Har! Har!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: MAG
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 09:56 PM

Ah, here I am with my virtual knee braces, in my perennial search for a man who can waltz. I might look big, but I am very light on my feet. Just don't steer us anywhere near that wet floor by the hot tub.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 09:46 PM

Moonglow, slide that jar of herring over here, please! Barkeep, slide me a fork! Thanks! (And Moonglow, if your quail reference is to Bailey White, I love that essay!)

I haven't wanted to hover too much in here, though I have busied myself by throwing a lot of balls into the air. What I'm really hoping is that catsPHiddle will come by and test out that trapeze gizmo. It has real potential to be the life of the party, so to speak, if she can dance a jig. But since she's not around, maybe I can convince another sucker party-goer to test it out. Just step into the harness and tighten the lines so that it supports your weight and you can walk around the room without aid of a walking implement (like cat's stick). Just watch out for that red button by the bar. It's supposed to disengage the whole contraption, but in practice it seems to launch the harness into the rafters.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:23 PM

Ahh, that's better.. .anyone got a cigarette I can bum?

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm....

Move over, pusscat, I need the beer!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: moonglow
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:01 PM

Kicking snow off her boots, Moonglow wanders in carrying a large jar of pickled herring and a handful of birds.

Peg- Here's the quail you wanted, and sorry if you wanted the tag number, it was pretty dark when I picked them up.

Moon slides the jar onto the counter and plops down next to a cat in front of the fireplace.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 06:50 PM

So where's the guy for real women then? He looks a real action man, all flock hair and no genitals.

Give us someone like http://www.allposters.com/gallery.asp?aid=384362&item=307259 to look at....

Back in a while...

slurp

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 02:34 PM

How's the wyvern coming along, and did you say you were going to do some auroch this year, MMario?

Is that music I hear coming from outside? It's about time!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 01:17 PM

Just my face. I just peeked in and Calvin Klein took my picture. Then he puts it on some sort of alien body. Just you wait, Calvin baby, just you wait!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Cluin
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:44 PM

The guy looks a little deformed. Did somebody whack him in the gut with an axe?

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:32 PM

What, pray-tell, were you doing in the women's loo?

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:20 PM

Oh, dammit, I told Calvin Klein not to use my picture!!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:16 PM

Barkeep!

I'd like some of Rustic Rebel's pumpkin pie drink. Can you put something in for a little kick? And a slice of that quince tart, please.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 12:03 PM

Liz - can't you get NHS crutches instead??? You could use them for swatting the insects!
Quack!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 11:53 AM

Okay. And here's one for the women's loo.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 11:21 AM

I found this pin-up on the Desert Island thread - let's stick it up on the wall of the gent's bog.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: SINSULL
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 11:17 AM

soaking...soaking...what the mind of man cab conceive and believe he can achieve...hMMMMMM Isn't that what Paw and Cletus are always saying?

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 11:08 AM

Liz - Not to mention the deodorant spray and fire extinguisher as you've been drinking the Jockstrap's "Santa's Old Bollocks". I tell what - I'll polish up your merkin for you.

Geoff - why settle for Timothy Taylor's when there's Nissed Pewt's FFL on offer - just look and see how relaxed Kat is - good lord I never thought it was possible to do that with a full length pair of crutches !

I'm on my second quart and watch - I can F-l-y-y-y-y-y-y-y-y - c-r-a-s-h - Oh Shit !

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:39 AM

Glossy Merkins are still awaiting payment for the last gig they did.... them crotchless crutches cost you know! And then there's the shampoo and the insect repellant.....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:39 AM

Swans? Swans?

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:35 AM

The Duck emerges from underneath a pile of coats, where he appears to have fallen asleep during a quiet stretch. SINSULL - Did you ask for banjo tunes. I think there's some on the Juke Box.
He looks around the bar and spies the trapeze harness. Hey - is that for the cabaret? I heard that Dave Bryant was trying to book the Glossy Merkins Variety Show for a private function. Didn't realise it was for this party... Did he manage it, or are we just goint to have to put up with Gareth and the pantomime sheep again?
Is there any chance you can rustle up a pint of Timothy Taylor's Porter? Ah, nectar...
Ta.
Quack!

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: InOBU
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:16 AM

Dave your swan story reminds me of when I was chief mate on a cattle boat (excursion boat...) a wooden working boat from 1910, a ketch used for dredging oysters... but I digress. Genie and I would be awakened by someone pacing the deck at night. and in the morning there would be HUGE bird droppings. It was a big ugly brown oily Greeb, who considered the boat his own. Like you, I could live with the heavy pacing, but the bird crap was impressive, but then again, the boat, being wooden, had to be washed down several times a day anyway... but swan crap in the cockpit, I can just emagine...
wasail
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 08:05 AM

"No, no thanks, no hot tub right now. My rapier would get rusty, my boots would be first squishy and then unbendable, and it would play pure hell with the angora chaps. You do know that the "ch" sound in "chaps" is pronounced "sh", don't you? Anyway, sudden chaps shrinkage turned many a cowboy into a surprised soprano. The only preventives for catastrophic castration are either dry chaps or plate armor underwear. And the underwear can rust, positively preventing peepee and so I opt for dry chaps. I've learned all sort of Western Lore. Maybe later, thanks. Another tankard of RMPP, por favor."

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Dave Bryant
Date: 05 Dec 03 - 06:59 AM

Kat - I know that you've been drinking the FFL and that crutch and crotch sound similiar, but I really think you shouldn't do that in polite company !

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 11:25 PM

Robin wanders in with a Quince Tart

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: artbrooks
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:58 PM

Hummmm...the East India Company paper is off to a good start, and the one on politics in medieval Italian towns is starting to perk...time for a good brain flush! Did anybody bring some Arrogant Bastard Ale? Who said that Rapaire was drinking Rocky Mountain Panther Piss? Never happen! Room for me in the hot tub? I promise to leave my shorts on, out of consideration for public decency.

Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:14 PM

My thought exactly. Sounds like a good soak and some good music will put you to rights. (Me, I snuck out back and cooked a batch of homemade ravioli for my kids--they loved it and I feel great at their pleasure with the meal.) Come to think of it, I think I'll join you.

Sinsull, Tinker, and Sage pause in their conversation beside the hot tub as, in a surreal calico-Esther-Williams moment, a kitty dives from the rafters and plunges straight into the hot tub. She nearly missed the Big Pink Lad, but in the end she bonks him on the head and shoulders then slips off into the tub. Sins calmly hands off the computer and leans over to scoop what appears to be a gob of lint off of the top of the water, kind of "squeegies" her hands over the wet pussy, then places her on the floor to slink off to the kitchen where the salmon is being readied.