 sj |
||
|
||
MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
|
|
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: artbrooks Date: 11 Dec 03 - 11:50 AM Rapaire! In the interests of common decency, at least put on a pair of shorts...I'd suggest the ones with the smiley faces or the ones with the big red hearts. The ladies will thank you-after all, spasms of uncontrollable laughter interferes with serious drinking. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 11 Dec 03 - 11:34 AM Because, Guest, when you're wearing angora chaps, thigh-high trooper boots, a decent hat and carrying a rapier you don't want to wear anything outrageous and undignified, that's why. Still, trousers would be handy in the cold.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 11 Dec 03 - 11:27 AM Christ that squid must have hollow tentacles. Thank god it's not drinking the Jockstrap's "Old Santa's Bollocks" - oh no it's changed barrels and that beer won the Greenpeace award for renewable energy sources development (Spaw only managed to come second). I wonder what happens when something that size has flatulence. Help - I think we're going to find out. Good lord I've never seen so many bubbles in a jacuzzi and the water's now over everyone's head - why aren't they floating ? Oh I remember that thread about methane sinking ships . . . . . |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST Date: 11 Dec 03 - 09:17 AM rapaire - with the boots and chaps - why not a pair of full hose/hosen? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 11 Dec 03 - 08:58 AM Must get some trousers, he thinks. Wearing just the boots and chaps allows for a backdraft (so to speak). Even trowsers. Or trews. Or breeches or breeks or even a pair of pants. Thinks I'll do that right after the next drink. "I'm in the mood for something potent. A double, please -- one glass of nitrobenzene and one of RFNA." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 11 Dec 03 - 08:28 AM *pulls dusty box out from under the bar* I *think* this is the box of ornaments that arrived to late to fit on last years tree. *opens box* yup! Sure looks like it! *starts pulling out numberous objects - all with little hooks for suspending from the branches of the beautiful silver fir* Veg peelers, guitar picks, crocheted snowflakes, little christmas possums, more snowflakes... Who's gonna decorate the sucker? I've got to carve the wyvern. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 11 Dec 03 - 07:38 AM What's happened to the morris men this year - and where are the sheep ? - all we've had so far is a visit from a very decrepit dead horse. There's no problem about the PEL - it covers just about everything including hrmm... animal husbandry. Oi - who gave the giant squid Kat's crutch - the rate that it's sucking down that Nissed Pewt FFL we'll be running out soon. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: MAG Date: 11 Dec 03 - 01:32 AM So you are up there on purpose, Moonglow? I thought it was an accident ... More of that cider, please; or I can help myself. Hmmm: needs more brandy ... Guess I'll wander outside and see if they want to hear the Legend of St. Christopher ... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: moonglow Date: 11 Dec 03 - 12:12 AM suddenly gets an idea begins fiddling with the straps of the harness, and fastens them around the trunk of the Christmas tree Remember the cathedral ceiling? Well, whoever cut this Christmas tree must have kept it in mind- it's a biiiiig one this year. begins pulling on straps of the trapeze harness, and the 20 foot silver fir begins to lift into the air... pushing the tree (along with several bystanding mudcatters) into the vicinity of the tree stand, lowers it down onto the base and leaves the harness on just to make sure it doesn't fall over |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 11 Dec 03 - 12:02 AM You look sooooo familiar. . .Sage's stretch marks begin to ache Naw, couldn't be. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Amos Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:30 PM It must have been Moooonglow! Way up in the bluuuuuuuuue....! It must have been Moonglow! That made the place look like new!! (Waltzes off stage right, acting silly). |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,moonglow Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:11 PM That's because I have been here all year- you'll notice the extra charges on Bert's Gold Card... notices the bare Christmas tree propped up against the wall in the corner and wonders why nobody has bothered to set it up yet... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dani Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:48 PM Yeah! Nice crackling fire. Sparks flying, and it's awfully warm. Pull up a chair. I've got some long sticks, and toasted marshmallows would be just right! Won't they cause a terrible hangover with whiskey, though? Where's Joe Offer? He's a good one for a campfire tune. Maybe Kendall will stop by and tell us a story! Dani |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: artbrooks Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:44 PM Dani? Did you get the fire going? I have marshmallows and some cheap chocolate...if somebody brought the Graham crackers we can make smores. Is the coffee ready yet? Jamaica Blue Mountain? That'll do...mix mine half and half with brandy, please...no, no, not the Martel VSOP-the good stuff! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: MMario Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:33 PM I *wondered who had cleaned the place up! the Hot Spiced Cider is ready - anyone ready for a mazer or two? Fresh pressed Baldwin Apple Cider, mulled with cinnamon sticks, cloves, ginger and just a hint of maple sugar... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 10 Dec 03 - 09:58 PM You're awfully quiet over there, Moonglow. Those cats sure like you, and I think I see a duck snuggled in there. Have you been waiting here all year for everyone to come back? I found this as the very last plaintive little entry at last year's Mudcat Tavern. You look familiar. . .I've seen you somewhere before. . . it'll come back to me. . . |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:34 PM Is this a Duck I see before me, it's beak towards my hand? Sod off, it's MY beer! LTS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:24 PM Chowder....???? Hmmm.... Chowder....???? Hmmm.... Chowder....???? Oh!!!! Chowder!!!! The stuff that Nawth'ners make 'cause nobody ever taught 'em how to make gumbo!!!! (The severely outnumbered Southerners duck and run out the southern Tavern door, wondering just how far south they'll need to run to escape. I hear Key West is nice in the Winter. Wait a minute! Don't they make conch chowder in Key West?) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 10 Dec 03 - 12:00 PM your attention please! e-hem....is this thingON! Whoops! SORRY. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:34 AM I've always wanted to try cooking a Monopoly - but I hear they have a hard shell that is next to impossible to crack open so as to spread the meat around. And of course (according to the 'cookbook of mythological beasts' no one is really sure if they are fish.fowl or flesh, vegetable or mineral) It seems they just spring up overnight - and each one is unique. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 10 Dec 03 - 11:18 AM Will you be cooking a Monopoly - it's a game board - or have I lost the threaD AGAIN? qUACK! gEOFF THE cAPSLOCK cHALLENGED dUCK... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:57 AM Dave - that stuff will all come in handy as soon as the Wyvern is ready (only a bit more in the smoker/sauna!) remember? it tastes like game bird. Duck is a game bird! Viola! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:54 AM You never can trust a duck - now what am I going to do with all this plum sauce, cucumber, spring onions, and all these mandarin pancakes ? - no it wouldn't make a good suppository. Still at least I had a raincoat on when the dog shook itself - mind you I'm a bit damp becaus this mac is rather duff. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:36 AM You calling me an alien? Chocolate Bread Pudding after the Wyvern ? or do you think a Cranberry-Molasses Steamed Pudding ? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Amos Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:27 AM Did some alien just pop in here and ruin the whole evenng, or what? A |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 10 Dec 03 - 10:02 AM Luckily the Bearmat Demon has an aversion to Squid - so as long as Big Ol' Calimari is relaxing in the hot tub the Bearmat should stay away. Anyone seen my potato ricer? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 10 Dec 03 - 09:54 AM Thanks, Dani. Sorry, but my banjo Christmas carol repertoire is really limited - like zero. How about a nice version of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow"? Who's keeping an eye on the Bearmat Demon up there in the rafters? I'm tellin' ya, the little bastard's tricky.... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dani Date: 10 Dec 03 - 08:15 AM Sheesh, I was hoping for a nice peaceful soak. Animals. Guess I'll head around the back and find a quiet spot to get a bonfire going. Come back in a little while and drag some rockers off the porch, will you? I brought some woolly blankets to wrap up in. We can rock and look at the stars while we toast our toes. A mugful of Jack Daniel's, or Jameson's if there be any left, will do just fine. Bee, you're welcome to my banjo, if you'll pick out a nice quiet carol or two for us to sing along. "Said the night wind to the shepherd boy..." Dani |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 10 Dec 03 - 07:57 AM Can I suggest that you do a turkey impression - take your orange and stick it up your... At this point the doors of the tavern swing open and an icy blast and a large dalmation dog rushes over to the Duck and Bryant. He shakes himself violently and showers half the occupants of the bar with icicles, a particularly large one impaling MMario's left hand, making him drop the martlet he is attempting to thread onto a skewer. Perhaps a case of sauce for the gander? With one voice, the shivering patronage roar "Out, Out Damned Spot!" |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 10 Dec 03 - 05:21 AM Actually I think that this would suit a duck much better than rum - it's a drink made from Grande Marnier, Cointreau, and Citronge. I've made up about a litre of it. Just so that you're really feeling comfortable, why not soak yourself in this nice warm bath - until you |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 10 Dec 03 - 04:25 AM Sory for echoing... They keep telling me that Ducks don't echo! I think I need a Pusser's Rum to calm my nerves... Quack! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 09 Dec 03 - 03:05 PM . . . er, I heard it, did anyone else? It said "It's Behind You"The duck wasn't really that startled! It's just the echo in here, now that Moonglow and the cats and ducks are down out of the rafters. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 09 Dec 03 - 05:42 AM Banquo's ghostly shape drifts across the floor of the Tavern and all the regulars at the bar shout . The duck wakes with a start! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 09 Dec 03 - 05:39 AM The Duck waddles up to the bar, gets a bottle of Young's Christmas Ale, and shuffles off close to the fire, fluffing his feathers out to dry them... He eyes the Jacuzzi suspiciously, not at all happy about the prospect of Giant Squid, but reckons that there are tastier morsels for it than a bedraggled duck. Soon he settles back into a reverie, dreaming of his script for "Macbeth the Pantomime". Every now and then we hear mutterings such as "Is this a dagger I see before me? OH NO IT ISN'T..." or "Tell me children - if you see Birnam Wood move, just shout out It's Moving..." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Amos Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:50 PM Aww, Jeeze. I missed the original. Man, I hate it when that happens. GImme a single malt. It has been a long weekend, a longer week. But I wish I coulda had some words with Blake, there...man, I sure do. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,B.M. Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:40 PM Blake stumbles in, self-absorbed and vaguely aware of his surroundings. He functions only at an elemental level, surmising no further than that the familiar objects - tables, chairs, barstools, wall of liquor - must mean he is in a bar. The stale, musty smell he brings with him is a constant companion, a harbinger of Death if not Death proper. "Seems once I was at a Crossroads," he mumbles to himself. Blake catches a glimpse of the barkeep hunched over a book with the lettersHTML on the cover. Instinctively he saunters in that direction. "I must be at a Crossroads again." "Four Fingers -no, wait," says Blake, correcting himself, "Four Roses, I mean." But I shouldn't have to tell you that, he whispers to himself. "Four fingers of Four Roses, barkeep, if you please." The barkeep looks long at his strange customer. Blake undulates like some sort of billowy shadow and he can't be sure there's a face underneath the brim of the worn fedora. He begins to pour. From nowhere comes the hauntingly familiar strains of the instrumental version of 'The Shadow Of Your Smile.' "Surprised to see me?" says Blake. The barkeep searches the hollows of his eyes. A wry grin creeps across Blake's face. "You should be. How many characters come back to confront their creators? Not many, let me tell you. Disney would short circuit his cryogenic machine if Mickey tapped on his door. Wish I could write a book for you like Kilgore Trout did for his creator, but…." He lifts his drink to his lips and ponders the barkeep through the glass. "I'm your ghost of Mudcat past,"he says with solemn gravity. "You can't act like you don't know me -hell, you know me better than I know myself. You knew what I was going to do even before I did it. And now, I can say you made me what I am today. Which is, nothing...." Blake's demeanor becomes pensive and nostalgic. "I lived, man." 'Peter Gunn' fades up as Blake relives the glory days. "I breathed, I ate, I drank, I womanized." His gaze wanders past the barkeep to a point of limelight in the past, and Blake laughs appreciatively. "Back then, these threads were trembling with my escapades."He downs the remainder of his bourbon and pushes the glass towards the barkeep for a refill. Blake winks. "All because of you, my friend." The bourbon seems to invigorate Blake a little. He turns and takes a few confident steps into the bar's dining area. He looks around expansively and holds his glass high, as if toasting the esteemed patrons, past and present, who graced these hallowed walls with their presence. "'The more things change…'" Blake begins, then trails off. Something catches his attention. "I don't recall the belly dancer being here before. Nice touch. Adds class to the place. Much classier than the lime jello thing." He drops his eyes to the floor and once again seems to be lost in thoughts of the past. He turns and walks hesitantly back to the bar, softly gesturing to give form to a conclusion in his mind that had eluded him before, his footsteps echoing as if the place were empty. The music from nowhere stops. "See, you don't get it, man," Blake began, with a twisted smile. As he continued, he became more animated and fervent, gaining momentum with every revelation he hurled at the barkeep. "You don't realize. You put these things out here not knowing how people are gonna take them. People get dependent on these things, almost as dependent on them as I am on Four Roses. There's an obligation there, a responsibility. You introduce these things into peoples' lives, breathe life into them, nurture them, bring them along lovingly, and they become part of people, like I became part of this one guy, see, who was going through a difficult period, a messy divorce and a suicide attempt and the loss of the love of his life and his job and family and himself, everything, and he sort of, he sort of adopts me, see, 'cause my life is so much more exciting and purposeful than his, see, and he wants my life to be real and his to be some kind of bad dream that he'll wake up from eventually and I live in his head and he sort of becomes me, in a way, thinking 'What would Blake do in this situation?' at times, and then and then… What the hell happened man? I thought you loved me, I was your child you were my God, I the creation You the Creator, but you let me go, let me play the 'My God why hast thou forsaken me' theme, just let me languish out there on them cold threads like old clothes are discarded, you know, like there's no one to wear them anymore so what the hell? and so this guy he sort of goes too, I'm gone he's gone sort of thing. But I'm not really gone, see, I'm just out there in the ether sort of, waiting for someone to revive me, to give me a reprieve from this tortuous limbo, but…."Blake sighs deeply, exhausted of all his energy. The stanzas of an old country tune, the one with the line about 'one more for the road,' fade up as he finishes his drink and motions for the barkeep to pour him just a wee dram more. Blake smiles calmly. "But in the grand scheme of things, it don't mean squat." He downs his drink in one definitive gulp and sets the glass on the bar. Blake prepares to leave. A guest who had been eavesdropping on the tail end of Blake's tirade stops Blake as he turns to go. "Wait," he says, "What about the guy?" "Guy?" says Blake, puzzled. "What guy?" 'Oh Lonesome Me' fades up from nowhere as the barkeep clears the glass away. For the first time this evening the barkeep locks gazes with Blake. He notices Blake's eyes are old and gray, but there's something of a sad smile in them, the kind of smile engendered from the calm and almost welcome acceptance of an inescapably tragic fate. "And barkeep," he says, pushing his fedora back, "a Merry Christmas to ye as well." Blake wraps his trench coat a little tighter around his waist, pulls his hat down over his eyes, and opens the door. There's a brief inrush of cold air and a flurry of snow before 'Thanks For The Memories' fades away. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 08 Dec 03 - 10:20 PM He sees it, first as a whisp of the ghost of an image and then clearly. A tentacle. In the hot tub. Amidst the girlish laughter and masculine guffaws, a tentacle. Ah, well, he thinks, the giant squid deserves a break as well at the holidays. And who knows? Maybe some real thrills and chills for some. "Landlord," he says, holding out his ten-gallon mug, "fill 'er up with some of that Monogahela Red you keep for yourself." |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 08 Dec 03 - 09:25 PM As the three soggy, steaming Mudcatters climb out of the snowbank and move back toward the door, they see the hot tub, with at least a dozen people in it, begin to churn, rather like a chaldron. Laughter erupts, then a woman lets out an unearthly squeal and shouts Turn down the Jacuzzi! I'd like a cup of that cider, please says Sage as she wraps up in her heavy robe and steps into sandals then moves toward the fire. This isn't the cold shower after the sauna routine she hoped to experience. The tub is beginning to look like a little Mudcat Maelstrom. The cats are beginning to move to the edges of the room, the swan hasn't been seen for a couple of hours, and the ducks are supiciously quiet high in the rafters. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Dirty Old Git in the Corner Date: 08 Dec 03 - 07:09 PM I've still got my crutches somewhere, but I wore the knobs off them.... I'll bet that's not the only thing she's worn the knob off of. Heeyuck, heeyuck! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: MMario Date: 08 Dec 03 - 06:57 PM A salty young sailor just in from the sea With a beard that made him look older In his hand, tightly clenched was 5 pound, 50 p And he looked for a wench, for to hold her Chorus: Singin' how do you want it, and what do you like? I've been far out to sea for a hundred one nights A lovely young wench will soon be my delight But I fear that I can't hold it back for much longer C'mon everyone! join the chorus the next verse! The salty young sailor went into a pub His excitement had made him grow bolder But the only girl there looked a bit like his Mom So he left for she was so much older |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 08 Dec 03 - 05:19 PM I've still got my crutches somewhere, but I wore the knobs off them.... Perhaps if Limpit has finished playing with them, we can fix them up as extra drinking aids.... LTS |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Loooooooooooooooooooong John Sliver Date: 08 Dec 03 - 05:13 PM Whaal! Blow me down an' call me a lubber if it ain't me old shipmates! Whaal, no it's not, and if ye call me a lubber I'll drive me cutlass inta yer guts and use them to string me mandolele. Ye've not heard tell of a mandolele before, and if ye fill me glass with the best New England rum I'll tell ye about it. Thankee. The things outside do make a man thirsty, and getting the things inside does make a man. We was sailin' the Sea of Storms, we were, off Pizzen Head and we had a good and fair wind for the Langerhans Islands when the Captain espied a mighty flipper just three points off to larboard. We luffed a bit but managed to turn 'er when WHAT in the name of the Great Horn Knife Fork and Spoon is that thing out there that's full o' steamin' wimmen? Landlord, gimme a bottle and git outa me way!!! I've been seven years at sea and this ghost is gonna give 'em an ectoplasmic tickle! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Geoff the Duck Date: 08 Dec 03 - 03:35 PM Welcome oh crutched one! We're really starting to boil. Join us in some of the South Yorkshire Carols. Pull up a pew and CLICK HERE. Brings back memories , doesn't it (Mind you it was only about 30 hours ago... Quack! GtD. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage Date: 08 Dec 03 - 03:31 PM Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!How'd I end up out here in the snowbank? There was an explosion of some sort. . .last thing I remember hearing was the description of Bailey's Irish Cream, and thinking it might be time to start drinking coffee. . . Two more bodies stir from within the snow bank, and an arm emerges from the white powder gripping a bottle by the neck. "It's safe, the booze is still safe!" groans Geoff the Duck. In his other hand is gripped the rubber ferrel from catsPHiddle's crutch. |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,catsphiddle Date: 08 Dec 03 - 11:22 AM Grand Dave!!!!! Now Dave.....Im not the one using my crutches as a sex aid but hey I won't tell if you wont!!!!!! The group of catters carol singing by the fire is growing...I might hop over there and join them....with my beer of course! |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 08 Dec 03 - 10:14 AM Kat - I think that after the crutches, you'd find that pin-up guy inadequate ! - thank God they've got that handle thing on them sticking out at the top or you might lose them - but where have the rubber things that are supposed to be on the bottom ends gone ? There's plenty of the FFL left - it's a whole hogshead (54 gallons) - should see us for the next half hour or so - hang on Kat - here's a 60 pint pressure vessel. Now lets fill it up, hang it from the beam here, now let me have one of those crutches (better give it a wipe first) now if I attach this end to the tap with duct tape and tape over the other holes, you can put the other end in your mouth (for a change). Right - I'll turn on the tap - is that about the right rate of flow ? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,the bleary-eyed MMario Date: 08 Dec 03 - 08:42 AM What year is it? Did I manage to get mack from 1842? only 17 shopping days shopping days left for Christmas! (Sixteen shopping days left before the first day of Hannakah!) |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,catsphiddle Date: 08 Dec 03 - 08:25 AM sorry it has taken me so long to come out of the toilet but I was lost in a fantasy with the pin-up guy!!!! Before you drink the barrel dry Liz fill up my tankard please.....or could I borrow your 4 pinter......I don't have to top up as often!!! Arhhh Dave I do believe you are jealeous about what I can do with crotch/crutch.....does it make you feel inadequette??......... |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: MAG Date: 08 Dec 03 - 02:37 AM Er, there's a crockpot of hot cider "with" floating around already somewhere -- it was in a nice brown bowl but the crock pot kept it hotter. So, Mr. Bearmat, can you waltz? |
|
Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Bee-dubya-ell Date: 07 Dec 03 - 11:42 PM Suddenly the hot tub erupts into a froth of foaming water, beer and human bodies as something leaps from its depths, grabs a rafter, swings up onto it and grins down at the stunned hot-tubbers. "Oh my God!" they shout in unison, "It's... The Bearmat Demon!!! "So what in the hell is The Bearmat Demon?" you ask. Okay, here's the ten-cent answer so you won't have to go back and read all of last year's Christmas Tavern thread... About this time last year John From Hull was auctioning an autographed beer coaster through the Mudcat auction. In proper Hullese an autographed beer coaster is a "Singed Bearmat". That would be a "Signed Beermat" to those of us who spell normally. Anyway, somehow, the "Singed Bearmat" got loose from the auction and found its way into the Tavern where a tankard of some remarkably potent brew someone had cooked up got spilled on it, transforming it from a humble Bearmat into the dreaded "Bearmat Demon". It has apparently been hiding out in the hot-tub since last Christmas and it is angry, hungry and horny. Ignore it at your peril!!! |
| Share Thread: |
