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MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Tinker Date: 04 Dec 03 - 09:59 PM SINS... just who are you working for???? That's the line they started us with back when I learnt to sell dictionaries !!!! Course I did end up meeting my husband out of that deal.... Come on girl lets just get you slid into the hot tub and bring all of that energy to a place of dissipation.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: SINSULL Date: 04 Dec 03 - 09:27 PM Carefully crawling throught the tiny hole in the northern corner comes SINSULL, hair coiffed, silk vested suit and high heels. She appears slightly disoriented and almost drops the deep dish pizza she is juggling along with a lap top, a calculator, and a pocket protector. "Help me" she mumbles. "Please help me." They are making me jump up and down chanting "I feel healthy! I feel happy! I feel terrific!" Actually, I think I am going to puke... She skulks over to a dark table in a darker corner and grabs a double JD on the rocks along the way. F**Kin' sales seminars! Just a moment's peace without the motivational noise track. Please. Just one moment's peace. And maybe a banjo tune??? Before they take me back... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: My guru always said Date: 04 Dec 03 - 08:08 PM Poor old Camo, things won't be the same around here.... What a Ride, wondered what all those tassles did! Now, how do I get down from here? That smoked Salmon has my name on it & I didn't get to finish that Steak Tartare either. This calls for a cunning plan.... Any handy firefighters in the house wanna rescue a poor stray kitty? Meeoowwww..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Liz the Squeak Date: 04 Dec 03 - 07:34 PM Hmmm, bar snacks....yummy, I love angelica and fresh cranberries. Those angelica strands, they were a bit.... well, piney.... and the cranberries were well, not so much tart as bloody sharp. Hang on, what's this in my teeth? Bloody tinsel? Get me back to that barrel and sod the quenciquonces! Mind you, if anyone wants the balloons blowing up, see me in about 6 pints time. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 04:31 PM Here is a little one you can put on the end of the bar. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Donuel Date: 04 Dec 03 - 04:17 PM Here's your virtual tree http://www.angelfire.com/md2/customviolins/Fir8.jpg |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Kim C Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:54 PM Mister's been brewing some double chocolate stout.... it should be ready by Christmas. It's mine mine mine but if y'all are really sweet, I might be convinced to share. Bring on the zils. I have an extra set if anyone needs some. :-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:48 PM Pecans? Walnuts? If walnuts, English or black? Roasted or un? Inquiring minds want to know! And don't forget the dried fruits and caramel and nougat and.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:30 PM Stout is in the second beer case from the back, third door to the left after you go behind the bar. Don't trip over the cat. White chocolate, milk, dark, or bitter? cashews,almonds, brazil nuts, or pistachios in those turtles? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: TheBigPinkLad Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:16 PM Well chocloate ones of course. You look disappointed Sage ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:15 PM What kind of turtles? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: TheBigPinkLad Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:13 PM Hi. I brought Turtles to go with the stout. Where's the stout? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 02:49 PM One of the cats is boosted up to a beam near the ceiling and cleverly bats at the leather traces to dislodge the harness from the spot where it landed. Better reset that trapeze harness--catsPHiddle hasn't even had a chance to try it on yet. We don't want her to see this tangle and fear testing it. I'm sure that her body weight is enough to prevent this little mishap from happening again. . .
The cat curls up on the intersection of a couple of beams and peers down at the gathering crowd. The smells of spicy pumpkin drinks and smoked meats, fish, and tofu drift up to the rafters. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,freds Date: 04 Dec 03 - 01:23 PM Thank you! We were not aware that you had Intergalactic Transponder Alarms! There's one over there, that little red button by the bar. Here, we'll push it and help will come and before you know it What? It's does what???? Oh, my. We're so very, very sorry. We simply haven't been the same since we inadvertently consumed Khandu. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 01:11 PM Copper River, of course! And I included a few steelhead from up the Stillaguamish River (naturally!) KimC, I think your idea with the zils (those finger cymbols used in belly dancing) was a good idea. The swan was annoyed enough by the high-pitched ringing that it has moved outside again, and seems to be hovering around by the back door. I think someone tossed some sultanas out onto the snow for it. The tub must have felt a bit too much like a stew pot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:57 PM "Amber," says the chap in the chaps. "Alaskan Amber." And he holds out his mug. "Or Fat Tire. Or Black Butte. Or Firehouse. Or Polygamy. Or Provo Girl. Or Sierra Nevada. Actually, 'most anything except B*******r or C***s or S*****z or P****t or M*****s." He looks around and sees the smoked salmon. "Hot damn! Copper River or Bristol Bay?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Kim C no cookie Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:47 PM Well, c'mon then Stilly, put on yer jingle bells and let's shimmy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:38 PM There used to be a swan who would come on board my boat every morning and bash on the cabin door with it's bill until I fed it. It wasn't the feeding that was the problem, it was the fact that it crapped all over the cockpit ! - I don't have a soft spot for swans at all. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Peg Date: 04 Dec 03 - 11:33 AM Oh Dave, those geese never did anything to you! I prefer to eat critters raised for slaughter or hunted by locals...but heck, any way to cut down the population is okay, I guess. That venison did not wander in from the farm, that's for sure... maybe some late arrivals will bring in some roadkill, a pheasant or two, maybe a wild turkey? I have always thought yam was a better name for an animal than a tuber.. MMario, nice architecture on that gingerbread! But how many times must I tell you, Crisco really does make the best mortar for the chimney...save that fois gras for the hors d'oeuvres! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:52 AM I don't think it's a swan from the Thames, so I suggest we catch it, wring it's neck, pluck it, and give it to MMario to cook. Hold on - I said P-L-U-C-K it - wait until the Welsh and Antipodean contingents arrive - I'm sure they'll bring some sheep. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:51 AM Welcome, Prince of Lir! Have you come to share our feast? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:38 AM Flutter Flap SwoopEr, Mike, you left that door open. Now look what has happened--I believe that's a mute swan and it headed straight for the tub. Better get those popcorn strings going if you're going to lure that big guy back out of there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:34 AM They like Calypso in Alaska, right? I think there is a steel drum band in one of the back rooms. They were practicing 'Little Drummer Boy last I knew...steel drum and glockenspeil. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Alaska Mike Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:31 AM Alaska Mike appears at the door in sandals, bermuda shorts and his brightest Aloha shirt. "Hi gang. It sure is nice to travel south where its warm. Can I leave this door open?" He places the large platter of smoked salmon on the serving table, taps the keg of homebrewed Porter and quickly wishes all Mudcatters the happiest of holidays. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Peg Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:30 AM hmm, I know the geese HERE are saying "Wha happen?" with this sudden drop in temperature. Some winters it's so warm they have plenty to eat; some years (like last year and perhaps this one) they face lots of snow and cold. Confusing for them, and many stay in Boston year round because of milder winters in recent years. Let's put some corn and bread and cranberries out for them, shall we? Maybe we could even get some of those lazy gits by the faire to make cranberry-popcorn strings for the trees outside? Easy enough to do even after a half-barrel of ale... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:30 AM Peg - can I apprentice to you? Sorry about the Living magazine - it was supposed to go back behind the bushes for the 'possum. Can a 1/25 reproduction of Mont St. Michel qualify as a gingerbread house? We were thinking of doing Schloss Stolzenfels but decided that would be a bit much. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:20 AM Sounds great, Peg! I heard tell of that gingerbread house, a super-duper two-storey one. But make the openings small or the cats will try to visit the inside. Honk honk Oh oh. Sounds like Canadian geese. Or were those distant calls Trumpeter Swans? Did someone leave that north door open? Birds that big could really take up an awful lot of room in the tub. Better shut the door, someone. . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Peg Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:14 AM well, the truffles got scarfed (shame on you catters, eating your sweets before your savories!) so I'm off to the kitchen to help those that are rustling up some grub. Erm, I think I'll just finish off this whiskey so it doesn't, ah, gather dust...thank ye Amos. Must think of another song while I'm in the kitchen..maybe the Wexford Carol with those spiffy new lyrics from Renbourne...one for the quiet moments 'round the fire later. Wow. The kitchen is remarkably clean considering there's some hot necking going on in the pantry, and several people at the counter, scratching their heads standing round an old copy of Martha Stewart's Living and several boxes of confectioner's sugar, a bag of gumdrops, and a jar of silver candy balls...wait, is that a gingerbread house you're bulding?!? Okay, good luck, you guys. How about (a few of my specialties): Cream of mushroom soup with champagne and tarragon? Venison medallions, soaked in a Guinness-Worcestershire marinade and fried in butter? Broiled salmon steaks, drizzled with a honey-lemon-garlic-cumin-red pepper glaze? Red potatoes done with butter and fresh parsley? and for dessert...spicy, clovy gingerbread, still warm from the oven, with real whipped cream. Oh, and later, I can make some real hot chocolate with Peppermint Schnapps...mmm... all this dairy wreaks havoc with the singing voice! But what the hell, it's the holidays. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:09 AM Larry, you call that little eye patch and dixie cups on a string a bathing suit? Where did Genie do her shopping?! I noticed the small print on the side of the tub--it said "suggested seating--16 really really big adults--may hold up to 24 of the more standard size adults". And cannonballs are forbidden! catsPHiddle, did you notice the trapeze harness hanging from the ceiling? If you look up into the rafters (since we have a nice cathedral ceiling in here) you'll see a couple of pipes and a pully system. Just fasten yourself into the harness and adjust the tension on the line so it keeps you upright and you can walk around the room without the stick. Just don't get tangled in the tree, and for god's sake, no one push that little red button beside the bar while she's wearing it! I hate to think of what could happen. . . |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 04 Dec 03 - 10:07 AM Shame about the jello pit. It got three stars in last year's Festive Season issue of Female Nude Mudwrestler's Monthly (I buy it for the crossword). Now look at all the notices above the hot tub: "No nudity, no drinking, no farting, no cavorting." No fun. Just let me get the liquid paper and cover up all those nos RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: InOBU Date: 04 Dec 03 - 09:47 AM I read my post to Genie, before she left for work, have to tell you all her reaction... contented grin as she puttered about saying, yes yes yes, forgetfull mudcatters... forgot their bathing suits, lets see, big shoping bag of bathing suits for all... Cheers Larry |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MMario Date: 04 Dec 03 - 08:25 AM I was thinking something - maybe Tandoori Wyvern? Yes - tastes a lot like chicken - but the Wyvern I got was a "free-flight" wyvern - so the meat tends to be darker - just a touch of gamyness - maybe it takes more like quail then chicken? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: The Fooles Troupe Date: 04 Dec 03 - 07:50 AM A strange looking person, wearing the front half of a Panto horse, shambles in and starts to pester people to by tickets for The Mudcat Christmas Panto 2003 ... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,catsphiddle! Date: 04 Dec 03 - 07:36 AM Just coz Im on sticks doesn't mean I can't dance!!! Sorry Dave for hogging the barrel.....are you sure you want it now I've had my mouth round the tap??!!!!!!!...well it was worth a try to keep it all to myself!! mmmmmm chilli sounds good!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: InOBU Date: 04 Dec 03 - 07:29 AM Well, it is Carabou and Yorkshire Pud from Genie and me, glazed with Dejon mustard, splash of cream sherry spikes of garlic, and hopefully Kev McGraw will show up and accompany me and me ould Uilleann Pipes to play Engine 33 to remember Friends not here, and then some Xmas music... Genie offers bathing suits to those in the clothing optional hot tub... Mmmmm time to pour the pudding into the hot drippings.... Cheers Larry |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Dave Bryant Date: 04 Dec 03 - 07:00 AM Liz & Kat - stop hogging those barrels and let me see what real ale we've got on this year. This looks interesting, we seem to have Jockstrap's "Santa's Old Bollocks" (7.3% abv) and "Full Frontal Lobotomy" (8.8% abv) from the Nissed Pewt Brewery company. Well there's no point in drinking the weak stuff, so I'll fill my quart tankard with the FFL. What's that funny smell ? - oh Liz, are drinking the Jockstrap's ? - someone should have warned you about the flatulence problem with their beers. According to the CAMRA magazine, the brewery chairman is a great supporter of alternative energy sources and developed his ales accordingly. All the brewery vehicles (including the directors' Rolls Royces) are methane powered. Can anyone find an suitable "No Naked Lights" sign to stick on the LtS derriere ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 04 Dec 03 - 03:48 AM Are you sure the cats are gone? I just stepped in something just outside the door. I think it's shinola. You know me I can't tell.... I've finished my last bottle of 3-star Metaxas at home so I've come here for a small drop, before I start on the seven-star and the Cypriot brandy. Herself wanted to use it in the Xmas puddings, but I checked the fire insurance and it's an excluded risk. How do we get a space in the hot tub? Is it by lots, or first come first served. (Waddya mean no-one is to "come" in the hot tub?? Keep it clean, it is Xmas.) RtS |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: open mike Date: 04 Dec 03 - 02:34 AM Sorcha has a great recipe for home made "W" sauce (Wor-ches-ter-shire, not Wyvern) perhaps she would like to snuggle up in a big chair with a blankie by the fire and relax and sit a spell & if she is feeling like eating we can serve her up some munchies and she won't have to cook or clean, just relax. hey look the grey hound bus just pulled up and here comes maid marion fiddle in hand and guitar too. vegetarian food only please. though smoked salmon might be considered o.k.!! i brought some hickory, alder and apple weood for the smoker is that what the puffs of smoke out back are coming from or is there something else goin on out there?? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:52 AM Wor-chester-shire. Maybe it would be easier just to get some A-1. :) |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage Date: 04 Dec 03 - 12:50 AM
MMario, are you talking about some of this? Does it taste like chicken? Should I see if there is some soy sauce or Worchester sauce out in the back of the pickup? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:58 PM and taking a seat behind the bar, he rubs his head in consternation and studies a book called Common Mistakes in HTML and How to Fix Them |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Lonesome EJ Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:56 PM LEJ enters, unloops the long muffler from around his throat, knocks the snow off his top hat, removes his wool mittens and rubs his hands in the warmth of the fire. Greeting the crowd in the Tavern, he pours himself a mug of mulled wine, lights two candles on a shelf behind the bar, and ties a rather dingy apron around his middle Aye, not a fit night out for man, beast, nor Mudcatter. On such a night, how fine it is to feel the warmth of the fire, hear the music of the harp and dulcimer, drink deep of the spirit of the season pauses here to tip up his mug and enjoy the company of convivial friends. A Merry Christmas to all of ye! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,freds Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:42 PM Merry Joyous Season, Good Friends! We have come to make merry with you, and to observe another of your festive celebrations. Do you mind if we drink some of these lentils? Thank you. If you wish, we play a mean escolutane and would be happy to perform, if you have a 1711.67 volt DC outlet for the pramplifire. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:34 PM "A peavey?" asks the Raggy Man. "Wait one, I think I've got one in my truck." A minute later he returns, instrument in hand. "Sorry," he says, "no peavey. Will this cant hook work instead?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,MAG at work Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:31 PM Aha, for the season we need a very very large wooden bowl -- like the one under my arm -- filled with mulled cider -- like in this jug -- and in true wassail fashion throw in whatever you got -- in my case, a pint of Hennessey. Band? pick-up band? well, I just happen to have my band book, my guitar cum pickup, and my new peavey solo amp (this season's present to myself) with. Angelina Baker anybody? Who's calling? |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:28 PM |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rapparee Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:13 PM And at the door stands a raggy man, begrimed, bewhiskered, and benighted, the very picture of poverty. "Wouldst help a poor, yet educated, fellow who just bought a house and is now amongst the downtrodden of the Earth?" he asks, tentatively holding out a ten-gallon mug. "I've just moved from the Effete East to the Wild West, and this is the smallest drinking vessel that fit. Just fill it up with that Johnny Walker Blue for a starter, like a good human being." There is some whispering, as the Raggy Man is dressed in angora chaps, thigh-high riding boots, and a swept-hilted rapier. And, except for his glasses, nothing else. He suddenly realizes that his costume leaves something to be desired and in embarassment rushes out the door. Within a micromoment he is back, dressed as before, but now wearing a black 10X Stetson with a PRCA crease and roll and sporting a rattlesnake hatband. "Gentlemen ALWAYS wear the correct headgear," he says, taking a sip from his mighty mug. |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: open mike Date: 03 Dec 03 - 10:09 PM clothing optional tub would be the best way.. and hopefully all who want are able to get in. should we have a ramp or a diving board for entree! no splashing on the instruments, though. here is a yule log to put on the fire... to bring warmth and cheer to all. did you say bailey's? yes, please! |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: Rustic Rebel Date: 03 Dec 03 - 09:59 PM I walk in through the northern door shaking off the cold and snow. I had a hell of a time getting here tonight, the roads are slicker than snot out there. Hey all! Happy Christmas! I thought I would turn you all on to my pumpkin pie drink this year. A little something I created awhile back. I brought enough fixings to put an auroch on his knees. I forgot to add this to the 'Whiskey before breakfast' cookbook, but all I do is mix up pumpkin, spices, cream and rum and blend it with ice, top it with whipped cream and here's to you. I'll start blending some up and passing out some shots if I have any takers. I see we have felines in the bar again this year. Please kitty stay away from me. After last year and the cat attack to my boobs I'm still leaking. (where do you think I got the cream for the drinks?!) MMario- Is there a blender in the kitchen?... |
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Subject: RE: BS: MUDCAT Christmas Tavern 2003 From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage Date: 03 Dec 03 - 09:31 PM Since Bert's card is still good, see if there's a nice cabernet savignon back there. I have been swamped all week myself and could stand a glass before contemplating the entertainment possibilities. I studied belly dancing myself MANY years ago, and have, after two children, cultivated a bit of a belly for it (while still managing to fit into a US size 8). Hmm, I didn't bring any apparel for the hot tub--would anyone mind if I climbed in in my underwear? (Victoria's Secret, of course!) |
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