BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: SINSULL
Date: 02 Dec 04 - 11:26 AM

A step in the right direction, Pauline. Isn't better to know that you don't want it and won't take it than to scramble to get it and be miserable. One bit of advice: In every interview, your goal has to be to get an offer or an invite back. You need the practice in closing the deal.

As to warming them up - get there early, watch how the office/lab operates, make positive comments on what you have seen. Ask about the interviewer - how long have you been here? Two weeks - why did you decide to work here? Five years - you must love it here...and let them talk. Getting there early also gives you a chance to see the office dynamics. I was on an interview for a high pressure sales job and walked in to discover the receptionist crying. Worse - every single person in the office was involved in her little snit - including the Sales Manager. How the hell could anyone make money there if the pay is commission and the receptionist won't answer the phone? SIGH.

You have experienced the latest innovation in Human Resources carried out poorly. Interviews are carefully choreographed to get the best information AND avoid law suits. Your best weapon? Ask questions. Prepare them in advance so it looks like you are thinking on your feet. Make it clear that you are so good that you feel comfortable interviewing them. It is a game. And the winner is rarely the best qualified candidate.

Put it behind you and move on.

I am half happy/half pissed. There was a job I really wanted, had FOUR interviews for, and lost to another candidate in September. Guess what? They are advertising it again this time with the home office in MA doing the interviewing. My ego won't let me re-apply - their loss and mine. They should have hired me in the first place.

SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST,bbc at work
Date: 02 Dec 04 - 11:21 AM

Sounds like the right reaction. I can't count the number of interviews I've been on, through the years. Some of them, I think, are just to get us prepared for the "right" interview. Live & learn & keep on living & learning. Don't lose heart!

best,

Barbara

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dani
Date: 02 Dec 04 - 11:00 AM

Pauline, I've printed it out, and will keep it in front of me to get through this day.

I am having a super-hard time, different than yours, but also no fun.
You probably came here to share your despair, but instead, you are sharing your hope. thank you for that.

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: MMario
Date: 02 Dec 04 - 10:57 AM

AMEN, SISTER!

Seriously - though you may *feel* sometimes like Alice when she had to run as fast as she could in order not to go backwards - you *are* moving forwards.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Pauline L
Date: 02 Dec 04 - 10:50 AM

Thank you all for your positive energy. The interview was so-so. I'm really overqualified for the job and I made my qualifications clear, but the interviewers weren't excited about me. It reminded me of playing a gig at which the audience never gets warmed up. It was one of the strangest job interviews I've ever had. The interviewers were more nervous than I. They acted like this was the first interview they've ever given, or maybe the first interview of this type. They read from a list of questions, and they were all HR-type questions ("What do you consider your greatest strength," "Describe a job situation in which you felt particularly challenged," etc.) They were both technical people and one of them would have been my supervisor, so I expected them to talk about the work. Sinsull was so right when she said that I should interview them. Maybe I should have tried harder to warm the audience up. What I did learn from them about the job, however, was not so good. The work sounded pretty boring and the pay was not particularly good. My initial reaction was that I'd like to have the job and get paid while I keep looking for another job. Now I think that it's just as well and I'll just keep looking for something better.

As I write this, I'm listening to an American Folkways recording of songs and speeches from the American civil rights movement. I just heard MLK say, "No matter what happens, keep on walking. If you can't walk, crawl, but keep on moving."

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Janie
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 03:15 PM

Waiting to hear .....;>)

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dani
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 03:10 PM

One more note: I've had some hard times lately, myself (girl, we should talk.....) and my sister sent me a card. On the front it says, "I heard you've been feeling blue.... Is it like a cotton candy blue, or more of a French blue?". It tickles me everytime I see it!

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dani
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 12:57 PM

OK! How'd it go!?

For what it's worth, I, too, remember you well from the Getaway. And it seemed to me this year that you had an aura of 'smile' about you that hadn't been there before. Maybe it was just the beautiful music you were making??

Anyway, I wish you well, and second what many have said about seeking professional help when the overwhelmed feeling doesn't go away, and talking with friends isn't enough. It's out there, even for people without the means to pay for it right now. Sometimes, therapy is the greatest gift you can give yourself, and there's no shame if YOU don't put it there.

Be well,

Dani

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: SINSULL
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 10:45 AM

Luck has nothing to do with the interview. Show them who you are and why you are the best person for the job. Show them too that you are interviewing them. Maybe it's not a good match for YOU. have fun!
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: MMario
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 08:29 AM

Best of Luck today !

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dipsodeb
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 05:34 AM

Well I was thinking of you sending huge amounts of positive thoughts!!LOL did it work? Let us know. I will log on again later and check this thread.

~Debs~xx

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Jeanie
Date: 01 Dec 04 - 03:10 AM

Good Luck for today, Pauline.
Thinking of you,
- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST,bbc at work
Date: 30 Nov 04 - 11:28 AM

You'll be on my mind & in my heart tomorrow!

bbc

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Metchosin
Date: 30 Nov 04 - 12:41 AM

Best of luck Pauline!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: jacqui.c
Date: 29 Nov 04 - 09:40 PM

We're off the the UK tomorrow but didn't want to go without wishing the best of luck for Wednesday.

We'll be signing on occasionally and will watch out for further news.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: M.Ted
Date: 29 Nov 04 - 11:54 AM

Don't let the bastards get you down, Pauline--if you have the energy--pursue the National Labor Board option that Kendall mentioned above--while it true that an employer can let you go for no reason, there are some "reasons" that are unacceptable, and can cause big legal trouble for them--even without litigation, this can translate into a useful settlement (often paid as additional severance pay), if the employer sees that are interested in pursuing it--

As to the used car thing, consider checking out Carmax in Rockville--the have a huge inventory on the lot, and, if you don't see exactly what you want(year, model, mileage and price) you can check their on-line inventory and get it from there--there cars are mechanically inspected and tested before they offer them for sale, and they say that they will not offer any cars that have been damaged in accidents, etc--they come with a warranty--also, you won't need to negotiate price--

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Linda Goodman Zebooker
Date: 28 Nov 04 - 01:26 AM

Keep playing, Pauline, your violin music has really touched a lot of people. Do something you really enjoy every day--it will help keep your spirits up, and you deserve it! Sorry I didn't join in with my good wishes earlier--I forget to "check in" with the Mudcat more frequently. I'll be thinking about you on Wednesday. Please keep us posted.

--Linda Goodman

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Pauline L
Date: 27 Nov 04 - 08:53 PM

A song can save your mortal soul. Just now, a voice spoke to me. The voice came from my radio. It was the voice of Stan Rogers. He was singing Mary Ellen Carter.

No matter what you've lost
Be it a home, a love, a friend
Like the Mary Ellen Carter
Rise again.

I forgot to mention, in my initial post to this thread, that I also lost a home during my hard times in the last three years. It was my spirit place. The IRS didn't regard it as my home because it wasn't my primary residence, but home is where the heart is, and it was my home.

I've had too many losses in too short a time, but I must rise again. Thank you, Stan.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: jacqui.c
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 04:47 PM

You've got it Pauline - hope you had a good Thanksgiving today.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Pauline L
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 02:21 PM

Thanks, Sinsull. I need a lot of positive energy from the group.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: SINSULL
Date: 25 Nov 04 - 12:54 PM

Keeping this one alive at least until after the interview.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Carly
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 01:25 PM

I just got home and found this thread. I am impressed again at the support, and good advice, to be found here in mudcat. Pauline, we'll be cheering you on; call me if you need a friendly ear.

With love,
Carly Gewirz

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dipsodeb
Date: 24 Nov 04 - 07:40 AM

Good luck Pauline We will be thinking of you and sending out positive thoughts. What times the interview?

~Debs~xx

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: jacqui.c
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 07:15 AM

Best of luck with the job interview Pauline. We'll be thinking of you on the day.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Jeanie
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 05:17 AM

That's great, Pauline ! May this be the turning point to your finding many new openings and fresh opportunities in all parts of your life. I couldn't agree more about the "doors and windows" thing. Like I said when you posted last week, for something new to come in, a gap first has to be made for it, and life has a way of creating those gaps, often (or always ?) at times when we least want or expect them. That's the way it always seems to happen to me, anyway. Hard to see it in the heat of the moment, but it is a good and positive thing. Gaps like to be welcomed by positive action, as you have seen !

My own sudden gap in translating work - my current main income source - led me last week to apply for a couple of drama jobs I wouldn't have become aware of if I'd been up to my eyes in the Deutsch as usual. (I do patchwork of freelance jobs). Strangely, this morning, some more translating has come in, plus the drama people have asked to see me this week. My feeling is that Someone Somewhere opens and closes the doors, and the Someone Somewhere is totally good. It is up to us whether we see or go through the new doors or not.

All good wishes to you Pauline, and to Bassic and everyone else on the thread who has found themselves in an unexpected gap at the moment.

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Juan P-B
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 04:00 PM

Go for it Pauline babe!

Mrs P-B is a life-long adherent to the 'one door closes another one opens' school of thought and it took me 18 years to agree.

If your new boss (to be) has any sense he will see what a gem he has in you.

After all! He's called you back after maybe realising that the person he chose over you last time was the wrong choice - The others being interviewed are, of course, also in the running so...

Best foot forward, be positive, SMILE, but most of all, relax and tell him what a diamond you are!

Good luck
Juan P-B

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: MMario
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 03:36 PM

What's that saying about doors that close and doors that open?

Best of Luck!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Janie
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 03:34 PM

There you go, girl! Sounds like you really know that keeping a positive frame of mind is not only necessary---but also requires work! And, clearly, you know how to work.

When you really get into a spiral of worry, remember, the only function of worry is to make you feel bad.

None of us can always be or feel "strong", and that is when we lean on friends, in the flesh and in virtual reality.

If you find yourself dwelling on the past or worrying excessively about the future, STOP. IMMEDIATELY. Distract yourself with some positive activity. Go help someone else who needs it (like a beginning violin player;^) Go busk on the streetcorner and watch how people appreciate your art. Meditate. Eat some ice cream. Go to Starbucks and have a latte and read National Geographic (Or National Lampoon!) Wear that wonderful hat and cloak.

Above all, APPRECIATE AND VALUE YOURSELF.

I too will keep sending good energy and prayers.

Janie

I don't know how good mass transit is in the DC area if you really need to get around, but is it possible to forego a car and its expenses at present?

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 03:33 PM

Just another gig, they're lucky to have a PhD with an onstage presence....

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Pauline L
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 03:12 PM

Oh, boy! I know I shouldn't get excited yet, but I just got a call for a job interview. It's with a company I've applied to numerous times and even interviewed with once. I'm not sure, but I think that two of the people I'm going to interview with are people I've interviewed with before. My interview is scheduled for Wed., Dec. 1. I'd really like to get this job. Wish me luck!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Nancy King
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 05:06 PM

Pauline, you're sounding much better already. Keep it up!

Good luck!

Nancy

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST,jacqui.c
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 04:45 PM

Pauline - you made a good start by reaching out to other Mudcatters. I've been thinking about you and hoping that things get turned around and it sounds as if you are starting to do just that.

This may seem rather trite but sometimes it can be just a case of looking for the doughnut, rather than seeing the hole.

Please keep us informed on how things are going.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Pauline L
Date: 21 Nov 04 - 03:26 PM

I've been rereading this thread and loving it. While it's true that my happiness has to start within me, it also helps to get positive energy from friends on and off the Internet.

I've always had trouble with self esteem and it's very, very hard to have faith in myself. Open Mike wrote on this thread that my Ph.D. says something good about me. At first I dismissed this as nonsense, because intelligence really doesn't have anything to do with hard luck. Then I remembered why I'm proud that I finished graduate school. It was my attitude. I felt weak and incompetent, but I hung tough and kept persevering, in spite of the voices inside my head and coming from my own graduate advisor's mouth telling me that I couldn't do it. Eleven people started grad school in my department at the time I did, but only five made it through to their doctorate. Incidentally, 4 of the 5 were women. Some of the people who dropped out were very intelligent and hard workers, but they didn't have the thick skin or determination or whatever it takes to hang on. We all know that a song can save your mortal soul. All through grad school, my divorce, and other difficult experiences, I've reminded myself , "Keep Your Eyes on the Prize." It helps.

Through my long (2 1/2 years) unemployment, I lost faith and hope. This time, I will try hard to keep these things alive inside me. It won't be easy. There will be setbacks and disappointments, but I will try. It will help me to get some more positive energy and good advice from the Mudcat community.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: GUEST
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 09:42 AM

buy a used car from someone you know...that way you'll be somewhat familiar with it, and if they value your friendship, they won't rip you off too badly.....

I've had good luck (with emphasis on the word luck) with buying a van off ebay. Trick here is ask lots of questions...get a vibe from the seller. Call him/her on the phone and talk talk talk. I got a van for about $2400 whose bluebook value, according to my county clerk's office, was about $7100....the county clerk didn't like that too much and made me jump through all kinds of hoops to title it in my state, because they were losing a fair amount of sales tax they could charge me (bastards, screw them)....I got the van so cheap because the guy was moving across the country and needed cold hard cash (and I was the highest bidder, of course). I drove it back 600 miles no problem. I have driven it lots since I got it home and knock wood I haven't found anything wrong with it yet.

Sometimes you can do well at auctions also. You sort of have to know what to look for though. The ones I've been to, they don't let you drive the vehicle, but if the key is in it you can start it up, put it in gear, move forward and back a few feet, etc.

Check the oil and coolant before starting up. If the oil has white filmy stuff in it, coolant is leaking into the oil galleries, and that's not a good thing. It means the motor needs major work. Check to see if the oil looks clean. Of course, the seller could've just changed it before he put it in the auction, but if it's dirty (black) it implies some negative things about the seller, like he probably doesn't take very good care of his vehicles. Look underneath and look on the ground to see if anything is leaking out.

Check coolant and see if it looks clean (lime green). If it's rusty looking, it's dirty and hasn't been changed in a while. That can mean the coolant system is corroded as well.

Turn the key to "On" without starting. Check if the idiot lights all come on (oil, battery, check engine, temp, etc). If not, it could mean that some of them were disconnected to conceal a problem.

Start car and check the exhaust for blue smoke. If so, that means car is burning oil, not good. Hold brake and put car in gear, check to see if transmission shifts smoothly or "clunks" into gear. If it clunks, drive train could need work in the neighborhood of a few hundred dollars.

Once car is running you can check to see if A/C, heater, radio, etc works.

Auctions I've been to, once you've won the bid on a car, you have about one hour to drive it around, check everything out, and if you find something majorly wrong, you can bring it to the attention of the auction manager to seek some sort of "redress of grievances." I've never had to do this so I can't comment positively or negatively on this (sometimes the engine and drivetrain will have some kind of limited warranty - 30 days perhaps - that will be included as part of the sale).

My ex bought a SUV this way. She got it for about $2k less than what it "booked" for. We drove it and I noticed a "bumping" noise. I'm thinking the rear end/axle is bad, and I go back to the auction manager and tell him about it. He drives it and says it's a defective tire, sorry...no refund or rebate or anything. Oh well, I can live with that. That was about 5 years ago. She's still driving it. (new tires fixed the problem)......

This is just a smattering of things to check for. Hope it helps. Best of luck to you.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: kendall
Date: 19 Nov 04 - 08:42 AM

I know who you are, and you might be surprised to find out how many of us know you.
The matter of losing your job; if you are sure that they let you go on some pretense that makes it look like your own fault, contact the National Labor Relations Board.
In the matter of a car; check the classified ads in your newspaper. When you find something interesting, go to your computer and bring up www.Kelley Blue Book.com and find out what it is really worth. Then go look at it. If you like it, go into the computer again and bring up www.Carfax.com. Enter the V.I.N. This will tell you if it has a history of flood or collision damage. Then hire a mechanic to road test it. These two will cost you a few bucks, but buying a lemon will cost you many more bucks, and you will be stuck with it.

Good luck to you, and remember, you are not alone.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: jacqui.c
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 07:39 PM

Hi Pauline

I enjoyed talking to you at the Getaway and look forward to seeing you again next year, hopefully having got past the present problems.

I can't really add anything more to what has already been said. I know that the caring of Mudcatters can make a difference in difficult situations, as Kendall and I have been the recipients of that caring in the past.

Trying to maintain a positive attitude can be difficult and is all a matter of one day at a time. Some days will be worse than others and it's just a matter then of recognising and accepting that this happens but that tomorrow will be a better day. You have some real positives going for you - your music and your obvious intelligence, and they will stand you in good stead through this time. You also have the support of a large 'family' some of whom you haven't met but who still care for their fellow Mudcatters.

I'll keep watching the thread and sending good thoughts your way.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: open mike
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 03:01 PM

since yu are able to achieve Phd,
that is a sign that you can meet
a challenge and excell!!

Perhaps you could gain some insight
into your skills and posible empllyment
by simply making a list of your abilites,
affinities, etc.

both music and biochemistry !
you must have a good balance
between your right brain and left.

luck and skill will combine to
your benefit. so take a deep breath
and know that it will all work out!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: grumpy al
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:39 PM

Hi again Pauline,
Please re read what you have just written, several times if necessary, as you seem to have have just given yourself the answers to your dilema.

luv an stuff
the grumps

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Pauline L
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:33 PM

Thank you all so, so much for your responses. I've found a lot of caring and wisdom here, so much, in fact, that I need time to digest it all. I intend to PM some of you in the near future, but right now I'm overwhelmed with the work of looking for a job and pulling myself together, and I have to pace myself.

As I see things, I can divide my problems into two big categories: finding a job and healing my spirit. Of course, the latter is the more difficult.

There is something I do that fits in both categories: teaching violin. I love it! I get so much positive energy from my students. I love helping people and making them happy through music. I develop some good friendships with my students, and, in the case of the kids, with their families. Besides all this, I get paid. MMario, earlier in this thread, mentioned the glow I get from music. I get it through teaching music, too.

Re job hunting: Teaching violin is my substitute for temping, being a salesgirl at Christmas, and doing other odd jobs. For a day job, I'm a scientist (Ph.D. in biochemistry, many years of experience in toxicology, regulations, writing, etc.). I live in a Maryland suburb of D.C. While I'm looking for a "real job," I want to teach more and to get some experience freelancing in scientific/medical/technical writing and editing. If anyone can help me with leads on freelance writng, I'd appreciate it greatly. I have some chronic, intermittent health problems (asthma, migraines, etc.), so it is hard for me to keep to a rigid job shcedule, and working at home is attractive. Of course, I like being my own boss and doing things the way I like, too.

I don't have a car and I need to get one. Any leads? How about advice on buying a used car?

Healing my spirit is so difficult and so important. I agree completely with the people who have written to say that happiness is really in my own head; that I need to think positive; and that I need to increase the positive energy inside me. Those who have written to me on this thread are helping tremendously with the positive energy. Thank you, thank you.

I have gotten past the acute phase of my depression and now I'm in the hard work and struggle phase. I know that I will need to face disappointment, depression, anger, and loneliness on the road ahead of me, particularly in the (damn) holiday season. Please continue to write to me, if only now and then. I can't tell you what a big help you are.

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: grumpy al
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 02:03 PM

Hi Pauline,
I was out of work for four years, a while back, I thoroughly enjoyed it! Sure money was very tight but there are always cash in hand jobs about. I know the system has tightened up now but I believe you can still go on training courses and get extra money on the job seekers allowance. So why not have some fun, learn somthing new, maybe, but try and think of a way to turn this bit of bad luck to your advantage.

Good luck and very best wishes
Grumpy

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 11:11 AM

I'm one of those currently without income and scrambling for another job, but Curmudgeon is currently employed (geez, wouldn't it be nice if we could be employed at the same time?!?) plus he just (as of last week) started collected Social Insecurity. But I've been un- and underemployed when I've been alone, too, (or worse yet, married to my alcoholic ex-husband).

You've applied for unemployment benefits? If they turn you down because you were fired "for cause," fight it. Present your case logically and you'll win.

Like Richard says, "Claim every benefit you can. Pride is for the rich." Do what you have to to keep body and soul together. It IS worth putting up with the bureaucracy and filling out steaming piles of paperwork.

Keep your spirits up!!! Do positive things! Map out your job search. I know it's a heck of a lot more tiring and time-consuming to be looking for work than actually having a job, but ya gotta do it and you've got to do it every day. Find time to learn some new skills, too, if you can. Take advantage of having a, uh, "flexible" schedule. Don't forget to keep in touch with friends. And let them buy you lunch or feed you and tell you about jobs. Let EVERYONE know you're looking.

I got laid off from my comfortable 10-year job four years ago when the economy started going to hell in a handbasket. I'm a graphic designer/digital pre-press production person, etcet etcet and my former employer felt so bad about laying me off they gave me a couple freelance clients on a platter. So I had to buy a new computer (etcet etcet) and set myself up freelance. I also got a part-time job in the industry before they dried up. In the past 4 years I've been putting together a package of part-time (not necessarily in my field or paying what I get when I'm working in my field), freelance (don't forget you have to pay self-employment taxes on this), and temp jobs either through an agency (which specializes in creative jobs, graphics & editorial) or independently hired.

Things work out for the best. Really. I was majorly disappointed in not getting an editorial gig in February with a local publisher (PLUS my major freelance client brought everything in-house). But Tom landed in the hospital in April for major heart surgery and I wouldn't have been able to hold that job and do all the stuff I had to do because he was in the hospital and because we had NO income (other than my $58 week from unemployment), no savings and no insurance. (Talk about steaming piles of paperwork.)

Shortly after Tom could drive again, etc. I got a wonderful temp job. I think both the employer and I fantasized about it becoming permanent, but after the woman I filled in for came back to work and their seasonal rush was over (after 15 weeks instead of the 6-8 they said originally), they didn't have the work to justify keeping me on. However, now they know me and like me and I can fit in seamlessly whenever they need me again.

But now I'm out of work, collected the last two payments on my last unemployment claim (from the part-time job that fired all the part-timers just before Christmas last year) and can't file again until after the first of the year. We're still getting food assistance from the local food pantry, thank goodness. There's a whole bunch of programs we're ineligible for simply because we own a house. (Despite the fact it's falling down around our ears and costs us less in mortgage/taxes/insurance than anything we could rent.)

I know it's hard to "enjoy" having the free time when you're scrambling for enough to pay the rent/phone/electric and food bills. The hardest thing I ever had to learn is not to "worry" about money -- I get "concerned" but not worried. When you need it, it comes. But if you use your time in a constructive, creative, positive way, you're a lot less likely to succumb to depression or feelings of hopelessness. Don't cut yourself off from friends.

I'm full of advice -- now I need to stop reading Mudcat and check my on-line job sources, send out a few resumes, let a few more people on the list know I'm looking again, etc. And cross some more stuff off my DAILY To-Do list (which I make up first thing in the morning, even when I'm working.)

Hope this helps.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dewey
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 09:43 AM

The following are some great books to develope your Positive Mental Attitude and Problem Solving abilities.

1. Norman Vincent Peale, "The POWER of Positive Thinking"

(Great Book which will show you how to get rid of those knots in your stomach and replace them with peace of mind)

2. Napolean Hill, "THINK and Grow Rich"

(Thoughts are THINGS when mixed with definiteness of purpose and a burning desire to succeed. i.e. your state of mind (organized positive thought suggestion in a spirit of expectancy) triggering your positive pyschic 6th sense which will guide you effortlesslhy toward your goal and the others sympahtetic to your goal. Thoughts begin with your STATE OF MIND. THIS IS A PROFOUND BOOK SECOND ONLY TO THE BIBLE WHEN PROPERLY UNDERSTOOD, THOUGH FEW ACTUAL UNDERSTAND ITS MAGIC AND WISDOM AND SEE IT ONLY AS A PUMP UP BOOK. TOO BAD BECAUSE IT IS USED AND ENDORSED BY BILLIONAIRES AND U.S. PRESIDENT'S WHO IMPLEMENT ITS SECRET FORMULA DAILY!!! (A TRULY LIFE CHANGING BOOK, NOT JUST A BEST SELLER PUMP UP!)

3. Maxwell Maltz, Psycho-cybernetics.

(People cannot change until they change the way they view themselves and heal the emotional scares within them.)

4. Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends And Influence People
(A profound book about Leadership and Spiritual maturity when dealing with others in your home, community and business. Teaches the discipline of showing appreciation, discernment and understanding to those we serve and those who serve us as well, and the value we can place in lasting and enduring friendships.)

These are ALL life changing books that will effect everything from you home and environment and yourself in a most positive way if read with serious conviction and desire to apply them.

Dewey

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Maryrrf
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 09:21 AM

Been there, done that. It can be very depressing. But in my case just when things looked very bleak a job came through - not the greatest job but the pay is decent and I'm getting back on my feet financially. You will get through this. It's hard to say "enjoy the time off" because you're worried and what money you've got you're afraid to spend - so that limits your activities). Gird yourself up and start looking for another job. You will find something. Meanwhile - know that you aren't alone - lots of us have been in your situation and have come out of it. That's why you're getting such a response to your post. Sending positive thoughts, for what it's worth!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: MMario
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 09:17 AM

Pauline - while I can't claim to know you well - I have met you. As a matter of fact - one of the "moments" for me at this year's Getaway was having you come up and greet me and swap a few words. I've seen you play - I've watched you at various workshops and performances - and I'm wishing for you that glow I've seen you get when you sink into the music.

Intellectually I'm sure you know that if the company was losing the contract it has no bearing on you or your work...hopefully you will know that in your heart as well, if not now then soon.

See you in October!

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dewey
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 08:52 AM

Pauline,

Lincoln said:

"People are about as happy as they've made up their minds to be"

Yet Lincoln's life was one tragedy after the other: deaths of loved ones, failed businesses, a decade or more of bankruptcy, depression and a never breakdown etc. He LITERALLY failed at everything he did.

But through all his turmoil, crisis and self-deprivation he went on to become the most Successful and important Presidents in U.S. history, and a giant of a leader.

The facts are, that despite his nervous breakdown and tragic life in general. he gained complete control over his mind.

Your difficulties will not go away, No one's every do. They may in fact get worse, Lincoln's certainly did for the majority of his life.

The things that separates you from you difficulties, and you ability to manage them, (or at least cope with them) is in fact YOU.

You may not choose to manage them right now, that too is YOUR choice, and is not necessarily bad or unhealthly, we all have different levels or tolerances toward the tasks we are trying to do, and the difficulties we are trying to surmount.

If I were in your situation (and based on your personal comments) I would be more concerned with controlling my happiness and well being, rather than worry about whether I was suceeding or failing at this or that, or whether someone approved or dis-approved of me or my performance.

You are you own person, in charge of your OWN happiness, you cannot rely on others to make you happy. You cannot even depend upon you employer to keep you on, should he/she see to it necessary in his/her right to replace you, (maybe it was for his/her betterment as well as your own) this too is a matter of attitude and choice, the boss's as well as yours. (i.e. the way you internalize your self talk)

Every hardship in life has a seed of an equivalent benefit. Any multi-millionaire worth his salt will tell you this absolutely true.

If your attitude is positive (and you are a happy person) you will see the benefit in the experience, which usually is ten times more perfecting than the so called difficulty you were worried about (that you saw in the problem)

I am unemployed too, just as you and for the same length of time. This is more common than you realize today! I am very poor as well.

BUT I AM HAPPY AND HAVE PERFECT PEACE OF MIND, I LEFT A BAD ENVIRONMENT BEHIND AND DECIDED I WOULD NEVER BE UNHAPPY AGAIN, DESPITE POVERTY, AND I AM STILL VERY VERY POOR! MY CIRCUMSTANCES STILL AREN'T THE GREATEST, YET I HAVEN'T HAD A BAD AND UN-HAPPY DAY SINCE LOSING MY JOB. I WILL NOT ALWAYS BE POOR, BECAUSE MY MIND IS DESTINE TO GIVE ME A BETTER LIFE SOMEDAY, I AM IN CONTROL OF MIND WHICH IS ALL THERE IS TO THE MATERIAL WORLD AROUND US, THOUGHTS ARE THINGS GOOD OR BAD!

I WOULD MAKE MY OWN ENVIRONMENT AND MY OWN HAPPINESS. DESPITE THE OBSTACLES.

3 years ago I had a decent job and bought an old trailor to start out in life in.

I thought I had it made, I worked hard, paid cash for it, Then decided since I didn't have an issue with money I would tear it up and re-model it from scratch (i.e. building materials at the time were not an issue for me)

Then like you I lost my Job, I couldn't afford to buy the materials, and I had foolishly torn the heck out of it. Destroying any of its potential value. People thought I was crazy. Looking back, I guess I was. But I did have a slow recovery and a good attitude through the re-building process.

Anyway my point is two of the worst possible things had now happened to me, both of which are now working to my benefit.

1. After tearing the place up and not having any skills to put it back together, the best sheetrocker/carpenter in the entire town, helped me put it back together at a very low cost, he even found throw away materials I needed to do the job, most were free, He only charged me for the labor which was VERY reasonable. By tearing the place up, I discovered something very destressing: water damage to the studs, I was told in a couple of years the trailor would have been condemned. This gentleman fixed that up as well, not only saving my home, from the utter destruction that I might not have even noticed, but increasing the bank value of my home in the process, AND THIS IS THE GOOD THAT CAME OUT OF THE WORST POSSIBLE SITUATION IMAGINABLE, A POSTIVE SEED OF AN EQUAVALENT BENEFIT.

2. I have been un-employed for 3 years, and the jobs in my town are impossible to sustain any form of income. THE ADAVANTAGE HERE IS THAT I HAVE HAD A LOT OF TIME TO PONDER MY SITUATION, This time is perfectly necessary and had literally forced me into finding and going in a new direction. i.e. a home-based business. And I could never have found such a business I had been working solely at my dead-end job of before. EVERYTHING HAS A PURPOSE, A NEGATIVE ONE IF WE SEE IT THAT WAY OR A POSITIVE ONE IF WE CHOOSE TO BE RESOURCEFUL AND SOLVE THE PROBLEM THAT IS IN FRONT OF US.

***I would have NEVER gotten the help on my trailor if I hadn't been un-employed, and been a hardship case. Also I wouldn't have done as well of a job had I been over-welmed with the problem and had gone it alone.

The person that was sent into my life to solve my problem was sent there because my mind was concnetrated on the things I wanted and the persons I needed to get them, not solely on the "problem" itself.

There IS such a thing as MAGIC and it will not work in a negaitve mind.

I firmly believe, that my un-employment will someday be solved, I've tried a few businesses so far, But I really didn't fail as much as I produced I result, or made a distinction to lead me forward to something feasible.

--Keep You Mind on the Things You Want, and OFF of the things you don't!
--Use your imagination and the friendly cooperation of others to get the magic going in your life that you need to move forward.
--Don't Depend on Others, or circumstances to make you happy. Just Decide to be happy instead, And learn what there is good in bad circumstances, usually they are PRICELESS OPPORTUNITIES to move forward.

You are are responsible for your own happiness,
Not you Boss!
Not this Message Board!

Live your life!
Be your own Person!
AND Be happy and positive despite life's obstacles.


Dewey

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Dipsodeb
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 08:45 AM

Oh Pauline I'm sorry to hear of your situation. I know just how you feel we are going through the same crap at the moment but the idea about the agency work may well turn out to be a good bet.
My hubby started work with an agency today. He registered 2 days ago and they rang this morning and have sent him off on a job already, god knows to where he didn't even know what he was going to be doing it was all abit vague and very surreal BUT!! it was a quick result and we know that some moneys coming in the door and foods going on the table and the dreaded direct debits will get paid.
Keep your chin up and take note of all this wonderful advice I will be. (((Big Hugs)))

~Debs~

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 06:45 AM

Sorry to hear about your job loss, i hope something decent turns up.
As someone already said try the agencies,also In big shops, Argos etc they are taking temporary staff on for xmas, even if you only get a tempoary job, it will pay a few bills, and give you something to put on your CV.
If you play an instrument, have a go at busking, you might make a few pounds/dollars etc.

good luck.

john

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Jeanie
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 06:25 AM

Wishing you well, Pauline. To all the good things people have said here, I would add that it's important to take some kind of positive action *every single day* in seeking out new work opportunities. I know, for myself, that that alone makes me feel better and helps to stop me fearing the unknowns ahead. I do "a little bit of this and a little bit of that": different jobs cobbled together in varying combinations, which has kept the wolf from the door for many years since I've been on my own with my daughter. Now, my current major source of income suddenly appears to be drying up, and if I don't do something about it, I'll soon be in deep water. It's a case of keeping eyes and ears open and recognizing opportunities. From past experience, great opportunities often come in small and totally unexpected packages.   

I agree with what people have said here: for something new to come in, space has to be made for it. Life has a way of creating those spaces, whether we want them or not ! Living in that space, until it is filled by the "something new" is inevitably a scary time, but made less so, hopefully, by trying to see it as a necessary part of the process.

Hoping you recognize new, good opportunties every day,

With Love,
- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: Bassic
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 06:07 AM

There is enough negative energy around in the world as it is........especially in your world at the moment Pauline, because of your circumstances.
That negative energy cancels out the positive energy that we all need to be sucessful. It eats up the "get up and go", the "roll your sleves up and get on with it", the creative energy. That creative energy is what we use when we are being sucessfull and feeling fulfilled. We all have varying levels of creative energy and the draws on that energy are different for us all depending on our circumstances.
In simple terms.......we get depressed when the negatives start to outway the positives. Because of your current circumstances the negatives are outwaying the positives at the moment and the feeling of depression that comes with an excess of negatives is a completely normal reaction to have, so dont think there is anything "wrong" with you. As the positives start to return, the mood will lift.

Where do we get those positives from? For some it will be from their loved ones, for others it will be from their skills and tallents, for others it will be from very deep within themselfs because of their faith, or because they have an exceptional personality, or have been lucky in their upbringing. For you at the moment, some of it is coming from here in Mudcat.
Take the possitive good thoughts here and use them to find more......do some "feel good" stuff, take the flickering of a smile that comes from the good words here, share it with someone, the bus driver, the check out girl at the store, turn it into a grin, because they will probably give you a grin in return. Thats how the positive energy that you need gets built. Work, good luck, success will return as the smile does, it just seems to work like that!

I am having to do exactly the same myself at the moment, life has just thrown me a couple of "curved balls" and so I am topping up the positive energy wherever I can at the moment. Its happened to me before and I am sure it will happen again at sometime in the future, life is like that these days, we just cant "control" everything. However, the "scared" feeling isnt there this time, because I know from the last time it happened, that it is possible to get through it and come out the other side.
I also know that the best thing I can do to help myself is to feed my positive energy as much as possible, thats what makes me employable again, makes people want to be around me, makes me successful again. Gives me back my energy for life.

So, dont put all your energy into trying to get a depressed person a job......that is never easy! Use some of your energy on you, on putting that smile back, and you have already started on that road by coming here. You have dicovered one of the secrets of the mudcat family......it actualy works! Why do you think we have so many misserable folks posting here? (I mean the ones that make being miserable an art form!) They keep coming back time after time! Its because they know they will always find a smile here somewhere!!! :-)

Best wishes from Hull (un-misserable capital of the mudcat world ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Oh, no! I'm unemployed again.
From: fat B****rd
Date: 18 Nov 04 - 06:05 AM

All the positve and loving words already sent and all the best from Charlie (fB)