BS: Sex with chimpanzees?

Subject: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,perplexed
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 01:34 PM

What's it like? Are they sensitive lovers? Can they be trusted? I never thought I'd be asking such questions, but I've gotten to know a really nice chimpanzee and things are approaching that crucial stage in our relationship. For personal reasons, I do not intend to reveal my own gender or the gender of the chimpanzee. Suffice it to say that we met through a mutual business contact. At first I was surprised to see a chimpanzee dressed like a human being and speaking excellent English with an American accent. I soon discovered that my friend is a well-payed professional, accustomed to dealing with everything that a human being deals with in our complex society. In fact, this individual is frankly more human in a number of ways that many actual humans I have known. What if this relationship should become truly serious and we form a lasting committment? Would it be possible to produce children from such a union or is that unrealistic or inadvisable? How should I approach my relatives, who are devout Baptists, about this matter? Or must our love remain a dark secret? I hate sneaking about and telling lies to people. It's always been my instinct to come out straight about things and damn the torpedoes, but this is a tough one. What if the press gets hold of it? I shudder at the thought of what could happen then, being followed about by hordes of leering paparazzi and offered obscene sums of money to "tell all" on reality TV shows!

I am so perplexed.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,Chleeta
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 01:40 PM

We can be VERY good lovers, given half a chance

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 01:54 PM

Never had any experience along that line myself, but someone who has told me that the foreplay is really good. They like to monkey around a lot.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:00 PM

I don't believe a word what you are saying!...............I believe you are that chimpanzee and you are fishing to find out the concensus of opinion on whether you and your 'owner' should have a closer relationship.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:09 PM

ah, Don...I suspect that you will soon be told "chimps are NOT monkeys!"...and then we'll know for sure who is behind this..*grin*

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Don Firth
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:14 PM

Well, perhaps they're not really monkeys, Bill, but they do occasionally go ape.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Ebbie
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:19 PM

Gotta be Chongo.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:20 PM

*grin*...so they do!

"Gorilla my dreams, I love you"

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:39 PM

Little chimps have to come from somewhere...

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: number 6
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:52 PM

They're ugly, they have no manners, wear stupid clothes ... so I can't even imagine.

If my daughter or son ever brought one home I kick him/her out the door without any hesitation or remorse.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:57 PM

Yeah, I know watcha mean. I used to feel that way about humans too...till I took the sensitivity course in inter-species relations. Maybe you oughta look into doin' the same thing, Number 6, that's what I'm thinkin'.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Big Mick
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:58 PM

I want you all to listen to me very carefully. I DID NOT have sexual relations with that CHIMPANZEE girl.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: MMario
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 02:58 PM

Koko would have killed you if you did.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: number 6
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 03:09 PM

Good Gawd ... she's ugly!! I hope you didn't mick, thought you had standards.

Chongo .... your nothin but a dirt kickin, sleazy monkey who would con his own mother to gain a looney.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 03:36 PM

OH, Little Hawk, stop fantasizing. The chimp hasn't been born who would have you willingly.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: skarpi
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 03:45 PM

animal sex hmmmmm úffff are you sure you are alright ? I hope you are haveing fun and are joking about this :>)

you want a banana..........


jesus maria

All The Best Skarpi Iceland

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Big Mick
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 03:49 PM

Yes, my friend. We are joking. PM on the way later.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: number 6
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:01 PM

I hope it's a joke !!!

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:08 PM

Yeah? I've got your number, Number 6. Yer nothin' but a scum-suckin', back alley hophead who probably makes a livin' pearl-divin' at the local hash house. You chump! When it comes to makin' some chin music I bet yer heels are so round that a feather could knock ya over, and ya know what else? I figger you inherited that characteristic from yer mother.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: number 6
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:18 PM

You hairy stinking monkey ... yer dizguzting. Look at yourself. I'd roll up my sleeves and take you on anytime ... but I wouldn't want to bother getting my crisp starched ironed sleeves of my shirt wrinkled. Especially over some low life as you.

Go find some yourself some local kids to terrorize, take their candy change a blow it on the cheap saloon which is your usual hangout.

I don't even know what LH see's in you as a friend.

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: number 6
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:23 PM

"pearl-divin' at the local hash house"

.. what the hell does that mean ??

sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,Philip Marlowe
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:31 PM

He's implying that you make a living washing dishes, that's what it means. You hafta study up on your gumshoe lingo, pal. Sounds to me like you two are striking up a beautiful friendship. Someone oughta send some flowers after you "cement" the relationship, if you know what I mean... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Amos
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:36 PM

Mebbe we oughta buy 'em both a new pair o' boots an' a overcoat, huh?

I tell yaz, Little Hawk, ya gotta quit fantasizin' like dis. Just cuz ya can't keep a girl friend is nor eason to start imaginging chimp girsfriends!! It's...it's...it's UNNATURAL, is what it is!!

Mike Hammer

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: number 6
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:37 PM

I think you better get back to your smoky walkup office Phil ... your cheap secretary/assistant informed me you have another client waiting there for you. Probably some dame wanting you to spy on her husband again.

But hey ... thanks for definition.

Jeeeesh.


sIx

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:40 PM

Come on Dudes! Its Chimps for violence,
bonobos for sex!

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:53 PM

- perplexed -

I think at this point in your potential realtionship it is extremely important that you make an absolute and irrefutable determination that you are, in fact, dealing with a chimpanzee. DNA evidence from a properly qualified medical laboratory would not be too much to ask of this associate.

Since you mentioned that your meeting was through a "business connection" there is the very real possibility that what you're dealing with is in all truth merely -

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Someone in ADVERTISING -

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

or worse yet, a MANAGER.


(Both types are known to adopt extreme disguises in order to facilitate bizarre parodies of "social acceptability" and fequently resort to "predatory" behaviour.)


John

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,Vinnie
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 04:55 PM

Aw...JEEZ!~ That is so gross.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 05:01 PM

Hell of a good point there, John. I think she (I'm assuming it's a female) should definitely check that out and verify that it really is a decent chimpanzee, and not a systems manager or worse yet, a corporate VP! These businessmen have no scruples. They'll do or say anything and impersonate anyone to have their way with some unsuspecting female. It's a jungle out there.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,The one with a big red sexy ass
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 05:01 PM

What self respecting Chimp would ever have sex with a, ewww, a human?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST, George Taylor
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 05:09 PM

"Take your stinking paws of me you damn dirty ape!"

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 06:49 PM

Why? What planet are you on pal?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: robomatic
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 07:08 PM

for a feces throwin' good time call
446-774-6283
(igo-pri-mate)

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: *daylia*
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 08:51 PM

According to Jared Diamond (noted evolutionary biologist), just trying to have sex with a chimpanzee would be, quite literally, the accomplishment of a lifetime.

"...About a week and a half ago in Los Angeles, there was a really tragic, awful event in which a couple who had brought up a pet chimpanzee went and visited their pet chimpanzee in an animal shelter with a couple of other chimpanzees that had been kept there for a long time. These were chimpanzees habituated to humans. And something went wrong. Two teenage male chimpanzees attacked the man, and the result was just awful. They pulled off his nose, and [attacked] his eyes. They chewed off every one of his fingers. They chewed out his buttocks. Okay?

... Chimpanzees are about the same size as humans, and genetically they're the species closest to humans. Despite that, there is no attested case of humans having sex with chimpanzees. It would be absolutely lethal. The man who did it would come off without his private parts!"

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,Turbo Dog
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 08:59 PM

The half breed kids are ugly as hell.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,Big Percival
Date: 07 Aug 06 - 09:28 PM

Hey, Chongo, ya cross-species little punk -- ya keep yer yap shut about dem chimp skirts down at Eddie's place, ya hear? Kuz if ya don't, Alfonso is gonna send me ta do a liddle soft-shoe on dat cowflop ya call a face, see? Alfonso LIKES dem dames, an he don't take kindly ta preverts like you mouthin off too much. So if ya don't want a mouthful of brass nuks ya better keep yer piehole shut tight. An remember, we still got de negatives of you an that blonde, ya know?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Dead Horse
Date: 08 Aug 06 - 04:30 PM

Seeing as how we are in the neighbourhood, so to speak, I just have to ask if any of you guys have had sex with an elephant?














It doesn't half make yer arse sore!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Bagpuss
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 03:35 AM

Anyone read Great Apes by Will Self?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 17 Aug 06 - 06:05 AM

Somebody mentioned Sex With Large Animals?

[Warning: the linked picture is probably not objectionable, but the site in general is unmoderated, uncensored, and full of pictures and comments by totally disreputable persons. Caution advised.]

John

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Bagpuss
Date: 18 Aug 06 - 03:44 AM

Last nights "Time Trumpet" (comedy by Armando Iannucci) featured a TV programme from the near future called "Rape an Ape"...

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 02:28 PM

New just in! It turns out it was Chongo, and "perplexed" was a receptionist in Chicago. I am not, however, authorized to reveal the intimate details of their six-month torrid affai-----OOPS!

I didn't say that. I know nothing.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 02:31 PM

Barbara Bush does it, it must be OK.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 02:35 PM

LOL!!!

Man, Chongo is gonna be ticked when he sees that. He hates people comparing chimps to George Bush.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 02:41 PM

Hey the man looks like a chimp, he walks like a chimp, and he damn well talks like a chimp.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Amos
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 02:52 PM

I think you meant Laura. If you're gonna run an interspecies illegal sex ring, it would be a good idea to learn to tell your Bushes apart.

I didn't say that. I know nothing.

Little Hawk, don't you feel better having confessed this?


A

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: TheSnail
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 02:55 PM

GUEST,perplexed, have you considered species re-alignment? Given the current popularity of gender re-alignment, it shouldn't be that difficult. I can think of a number of people who could pass for wombats with only minor adjustments.

Of course, you would have to live as a chimpanzee for a year first.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:10 PM

Tell Laura I love her.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:20 PM

When I was a young girl we discovered a great pile of books in the attic. I and the brother closest to me in age (we were around 10 years old) devoured them.

A good many of the books were W A Y above our heads in implication and nuance (for instance, I had no idea why this feuding couple emerged best friends after having taken refuge in a remote barn during a rainstorm) but some of the things I have never forgotten.

One of the books was titled 'Congo Song', I believe. The premise was that this beautiful young woman had a pet gorilla, a gorilla that eventually became so aggressive and strong that he was kept in a large cage, and that no one could control him but the young woman.

Eventually the gorilla kills her. I've never re-read the book nor come across it in later years but there is the definite implication that the gorilla was sexually attracted, if not sexually involved, with her.

Has anyone else read that book?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:32 PM

Sounds like a real page turner, Ebbie! ;-)

Yeah, I feel great, Amos! How about you?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:33 PM

Keep those posts coming in, folks, and drive that stupid "Same-Sex Marriage" thread off the page. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:39 PM

I go ape every time I see you smile
I'm a ding dong gorilla and I carry your cave man style
When you hold my hand, I'm a prehistoric man.
I GO APE!!

Neil Sedaka?


G.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: akenaton
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:42 PM

Read somewhere that snails are quite capable of having sex with themselves ...should the need arise.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:48 PM

Yes. When snails say "Go f*ck yourself!", it's a friendly remark, not an insult.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: akenaton
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:51 PM

Oh he must have thought I was another snail :0(

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: TheSnail
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:53 PM

It isn't same-sex if you're hermaphrodite.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:55 PM

Never quite the same on your own is it?
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: akenaton
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 03:56 PM

I bow to your superior knowledge, (about hermaphrodites ect)

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 04:10 PM

Snails come very slowly though...

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: TheSnail
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 06:37 PM

But it's sex with someone you love.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: akenaton
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 07:06 PM

Please go and do what snails do best...

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: akenaton
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 07:09 PM

Sorry snail, that was in the wrong thread.

I wont bother switchin' it ...Lets just keep it nice and personal..:0)

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 10:51 PM

Awright, enough with the snails! The conversation is slowing to a crawl. Let's ramp up the excitement and get chimps back in the picture.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Lepus Rex
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 11:07 PM

OK, LH. Excitement ramped.

---Lepus Rex

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 12:04 AM

I think you oughta try this cross-species stuff, Leedle Hack. It might get you a stable relationship.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Joe Offer
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 12:17 AM

Oh, I thought the thread title said "sex with chiropractors" - I do THAT all the time...

-the husband of the Good Doctor-

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 04:37 AM

Need to be with horse Amos. That is if he really wants a stable relationship.
G.

But would the horse say neigh?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: TheSnail
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 06:59 AM

perplexed is this you?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 09:50 AM

What an awful object, Snail!!

Now, I have heard of humans being "with child", but Little Hawk is the first human I have heard of being "with horse". I'd be willing to pony up for exclusive rights to the story, if true. A prize-winner, hands down.

(Of course it could be an exaggeration or distortion of the facts. Maybe Little Hawk is just "a little horse", quite a different thing. But not grounds for a stable relationship.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 09:56 AM

It's a phallusy Amos!
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 09:59 AM

I wouldn't do it for all the hay in Kansas.

Note that the idiots who did that ad for the Michael Jackson statuette called the chimp a "monkey". What is wrong with people? Chimps are not monkeys!

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 10:21 AM

See, that's your problem right there, Little Hawk. You cop a damn attitude and it prevents you from discovering the real happiness that could be yours if only you would open up a little bit. I'm telling you, you should try it. Why not ask Chongo about his sister? I understand she's quite good looking, in the chimp sort of way.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 10:28 AM

You have the gall to tell me what my problem is, Amos? LOL!!!!

Har! Har! Har! (gasp!) Omigod.   Oh, ha! ha! ha! ha!

Sheesh...man, I am wiping the tears from my eyes here...I hadda pick myself up off the floor.

Thanks for the laugh, eh? Made my day. Got any other good ones?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 12:40 PM

Jeeze,man, sorry for invading your, like, space, like, you know? I didn't realize your problem was so effin' precious to ya. I think you oughta take my advice about Chongo's sister, though. Dude!! It would be sweet!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,Candide Reporter
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 01:00 PM

There actually was a case some years ago when an American woman on Safari was abducted by a young gorilla, who was quite obviously "romantically inclined" and who kept her with him for, I think, a couple of days before she was rescued (I believe the beast was hit by a couple of tranquilliser darts, but otherwise unharmed in the rescue). Anyway, I saw her on some daytime TV Programme a coupla months after the event, and she was asked - in a roundabout sorta way - what was it like having such a liaison with an ape. She said, "It's really terrible; he never writes, never phones...."

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: 3refs
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 01:24 PM

Trunk Monkeys on youtube. It could be another option!

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: TheSnail
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 01:54 PM

Brother Gorilla

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,ibo
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 02:33 PM

Send one round,ive got a chandelier it can hang on

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 02:40 PM

Sung by the author.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: KB in Iowa
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 02:42 PM

Maybe TOM could be LH's friend.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 03:38 PM

This thread is NOT about my problem, you pathetic yobbos! It's about "perplexed" and HER problem. Get with the script.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 03:58 PM

"Perplexed" don't have a problem. It was all over between us a long time ago. It was good while it lasted, I got no regrets, and I hope she don't neither.

But I got a message for YOU, Amos, ya jerk. I don't let nobody talk about my sister like you done. You are gonna pay. You are gonna wish you hadda kept yer big mouth shut, buster. Don't think just because you are away off in California that you are beyond reach of final retribution, sucker.

I don't have no sister named "Chinga", and I know what it means. You have done it this time. There ain't gonna be enough left of you to sweep up with a wisk broom when I am done.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Amos
Date: 17 Sep 07 - 05:56 PM

Chinga te, monkey breath. You're real flexible, right? Like I need to be threatened by a pendejo imaginary playmate. Mwahahahaha.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: GUEST,TJ in San Diego
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 12:40 PM

Puts a new twist on the old line about sex from Somerset Maugham (I believe) - The cost, execrable; the position, ridiculous. Sumpthin' like that...

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Sep 07 - 12:46 PM

The position may look ridicuous from a completely uninvolved perspective, but it doesn't feel that way at all to the ones who are involved...

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Blindlemonsteve
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 01:50 AM

Rather than get involved in a serious sexual relationship with this being, i would just settle with spanking the monkey.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 02:24 AM

Sure, sure. But what if the monkey starts hitting back?

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: TheSnail
Date: 19 Sep 07 - 12:51 PM

I say, I say, I say. Caruthers has gone up river with a gorilla.

Good God! What sort of gorilla?

Female gorilla of course; nothing queer about Caruthers.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Gurney
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 04:17 AM

Perplexed, no-one but Chongo can really answer your question, but herewith a word of warning:

There was a young lass from Dundee,
who was raped by a chimpanzee.
the issue was horrid;
all balls and no forehead,
ate peanuts, and lived in a tree.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 10:01 AM

TheSnail:

That is the most abridged version of that joke I've ever heard!!

BTW, Chongo's little sister, Chinga, is on the prowl and ready for fun. So if any of you male characters care to risk having your face bitten off, Little Hawk has her phone number.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 10:10 AM

Yes, and we've got your number too Amos ;^)
G.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 02:45 PM

"Chinga" tells me that she will not be satisfied until she has ravaged Amos, bitten his nose off, ripped off his family jewels, and pinned them on her lapel as a memento. She is inquiring into the cost of a bus ride to California.

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 03:16 PM

Tell her to take a microscope.
G ¦¬]

Subject: RE: BS: Sex with chimpanzees?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 23 Sep 07 - 05:01 PM

LOL!!!!!! Ah...Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!

Funny, that had not occurred to me...