BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Nov 03 - 11:56 AM

Damn! I missed the dance. Fond memories of Mrs. Weird, with her ruler, thrusting herself between me and my dance partner as she shouts "Make room for the Holy Ghost!"

Just a thought: Mickie, my dear, have you searched through the gorilla suit for my ring? Maybe it is entwined in the fur or caught in the thong. DO NOT! I REPEAT, DO NOT even think about buying one of those pieces of crap that Walmart is promoting as fine jewelry for the holidays. I have my pride, you know.

And just why shouldn't Walmart pay 30 - 50% less than the going rate? Illegal aliens are happy to work for that much! Bastards! I hope someone goes to jail in time for the holidays. I have not and will not set foot in a Walmart! They could give away their merchandise and I would still stay away.

"I ought to think myself a lucky girl, I know
Cause I'm engaged...but still somehow I don't think so..."
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 08 Nov 03 - 10:01 AM

Amos: "Improving", from whose point of view? The chaperones or the kids?

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Amos
Date: 08 Nov 03 - 08:42 AM

Which I suppose means that things are improving??? :>}

A

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Tinker
Date: 08 Nov 03 - 06:54 AM

No measuring skirt lengths anymore....amount of midriff does concern the good sisters though... and we were told that they are not allowed to dance laying on the floor ... and that two girls dirty dancing to arouse the boys was to be reported to the goods sisters...My hour in the gym was uneventlful, except for the young man who pulled the plug on the light in the cornor...My hour of ladies room duty was also quiet, no window climbers, obvious intoxicants or other issues. My daughter and her friends report it as the worst and most boring Mount dance ever...

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: mg
Date: 07 Nov 03 - 10:25 PM

as long as there are only girls there...they don't let them dance with boys these days do they? I would hate to do the nun thing and go around with a ruler measuring distances between them, skirt lengths etc....not enough nuns to go around so lay people have to do chores like that...darn...too bad I am a thousand miles away. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Amos
Date: 07 Nov 03 - 10:18 PM

Tinker -- I think you answered your own question! :>) Location, motivation, and let your gal appoint the leading man -- that'll keep her out of trouble!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Tinker
Date: 07 Nov 03 - 05:48 PM

Work with me here people!!!   We need location... we need motivation... who can locate the leading man???

I've got to go chaparone several hundred Catholic School girls at a high school dance tonite... Mary want to come along??? I'll be looking for appropriate scenes... All inappropriate scenes better not invovle my daughter.

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 09:42 PM

More, more! Mudcatshead Revisted! LOve it!!

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Dave Swan
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 08:31 PM

Jeri, Amos, 'spaw...Just my thoughts. In fact, check yer PM's 'spaw. It does feel like the familiar old fun. Good to know we've still got a few shots in us.

E.S.

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Jeri
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 08:12 PM

Spaw, I thought something like that, but without hearing voices. I felt a bit bad about the degeneration of this thread into self-indulgent insanity and kept trying to get myself to stop being silly. Then I realized that that was exactly what used to happen. It was FUN not to worry about pissing people off.

As to silliness, I actually thought about how funny it would be if a few of us could just show up and surprise him in for real. Hell, it's only an 18-hour drive for me! How far are you from Ft. Wayne, Spaw? (Frankly, I think Mick's getting smarter. Didn't give us the name of the hotel this time!) Oh well, they always send him on these trips and then, for some reason, they make him work.

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 08:02 PM

Hear ya 4 by 4, good buddy!! :>)

I did kinda think it was deja vue all over again -- isn't this the point where Garg starts to go bad???

A

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 07:53 PM

Am I the only one reading and posting to this turkey who keeps hearing the old line from "The Lone Ranger" intro to the series......

"Return with us now to those thrilling days of yesteryear...."

Yeah.......Been a long time.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: alison
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 07:44 PM

I resent the comment from Susan Atahualpa Ohooroombalalaroobalalasisboomba

I am not an "Australian hussie"... I am an "Irish hussie" who just happens to live in Australia!!

and personally I'd like to see Dave Swan in fishnet stockings!!

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 07:19 PM

down the garden path, we hope!?

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Jeri
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 05:15 PM

Pigtails too?
I think you'll be OK as long as you leave the nun costume and stilts at home. You'd scare the poor man out of his next 3 lives...oops - wrong religion.

Peter, you're a friggin' genius. (I honestly believe Janie wasn't really trying to encourage us though.)

If Mick doesn't check in here soon, who knows where this will lead...

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: mg
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 03:42 PM

if I wore my Catholic schoolgirl costume oops uniform would I gain his affections? White oxford shoes et al....mg

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 03:14 PM

All the quals you need! :~)

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Tinker
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 02:42 PM

Sorry, I work at Church camp...

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 02:17 PM

... this project desperately needs the opposing foil of the truly nice girl....

Well, that lets me out, but even I would not have mentioned beat*it*fication! !Mi hermana, La Tinker, aqui es una chica muy mala!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Tinker
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 01:57 PM

Directors Notes:

"an unexpected parade of bizarre images and characters (and scantily clad women)..." yes, definitely need to review Fellini's techniques...

Woody Allen, Mel Brookes.... yes, there are possibilities in their techniques...

Hmmm style should grow from one's personal experiences and those of the leading cast members....

Invite Koko and Ms. Atahualpa Ohooroombalalaroobalalasisboomba to a screening of Jungle Fever. Review Spike Lee's style.


~S~ I hate to disappoint you, but if Mick decides on beat*it*fication in the presence of all these women nothing short of a miracle will keep me behind the camera and filming. Besides I don't feel the world is ready quite yet.

Mary please join us, this project desperately needs the opposing foil of the truly nice girl.

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: wysiwyg
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 12:26 PM

Mick still is, after all, mortal.

But it sounds like he has at least a fighting chance to make it to beatification! At least a true test of his Layabout status!

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 09:13 AM

Holy Simoleon, Batman!! Who'd a' thunk there was so much love in the world! It's a wonder we aren't all stuck together like stale raisins in a lunchbox, inseparable and bonded for all time!!


***bfg***


A

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Peter T.
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 09:02 AM

This is all a tissue of lies (hand me a tissue of lies, darling). How can I forbear to bare all, as is my wont when wanted, but love will out, even without the very important transfer of funds awaiting only the sayso of a gentleman. My late husband, El Snuffi, as he was known to the travelling marachi band that he travelled throughout our extensive kingdom with, to the delight of many and the envy of others, met (can the next words pass my lips without a shudder of delight) Big Mick, when he was merely So-So Mick, during the initial phase of Lane, Fielding, Patterson, and Swan, when they were working on their circus acts, culminating, as has accurately been portrayed by Monsieur Patterson (revealing certain trade secrets which by rights he should be horsewhipped or at least meringued for) in the famous El Swanno dive, which in the earlier days was much less, how can one put it, Baroque. The potato thong was an outgrowth (ingrowth?) of experiments in daring, but that was long after my initial exposure to the charms of those lissome heroes. Anyway, among the desires of this group of semi-desperados, there arose a clamour for a gorilla. Detractors have suggested that the need for a gorilla was to jack up the IQ and manners of the performing quartet, but fie to that, I say, who knew them when. Now it is one of the perks of Sierra Leopardi that gorillas abound, indeed they abound all over the place, it is hard to keep them still. As the consort of El Snuffi, and a woman through whom ancient Inca blood still courses, I took it upon myself to assist these trepid adventurers, and advised them to snare a gorilla through temptation, i.e. to dress up in gorilla costumes and "woo the simian" (a phrase my beloved Snuffi used to use in the unlamented days before people went over viagra in a barrel). So clothed, the foursome moved out into the jungle that abuts the capitol of Sierra Leopardi, in search of gorillas. Through a series of accidents, which only a substantial committment to the bank transfer would force me to divulge, one of the party of four (Designate him Gorilloid #1, i.e. Swan) in a moment of confusion, fell deeply in love with Gorilloid #2 (i.e. So-so Mick), assuming said Gorilloid #2 was in fact the gorilla his dreams. This is a Superglue bond that they have been fighting ever since, as have I, since -- in spite of Australian hussies without gold bullion certificates in a trust account awaiting the proper guaranteeds -- I too bonded on that occasion with Gorilloid #2, and have been holding a suppurating heart ever since.

yours naked before the world,

Susan Atahualpa Ohooroombalalaroobalalasisboomba.

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Tinker
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 06:50 AM

Sellin' Nuts... Hot nuts...... I ccan hear the vendors now...

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 06:36 AM

Whoa up here a minute and let's REALLY get the Gorilla Suit thing right!

If you don't know, "The Great El Swanno" ascends a 90 foot tower wearing fishnet stockings and a half of a gorilla suit. Standing high above the crowd, or at least the 7 or 8 people who show up, Dave rips a massive fart, launches himself into the air, first in the pike position, where he flicks a Zippo and ignites the assgas. At this point he assumes the classic Swan Dive position and rockets down, landing into a fire helmet filled with lime jello. I guess it's a living........

Half a Gorilla Suit or no, things don't always go right. The other night, another in a series of accidents has caused me to wonder if it's worth it, but I suppose to each his own and this dumsumbitch seems to enjoy it. It seems a matronly lady had been seated in the first row and was expecting something more along the lines of Greg Louganis instead of some weird Rocky the Flaming Squirrel routine. Upon seeing Dave, ass belching flame and hurtling towards her, she sprang from her chair inadvertently flinging her mink neckpiece off as she did so. As El Swanno rocketed past, the mink was in mid-air also and thus set on fire as it came in line with his fiery bumcheeks. He landed in the fire helmet and the lime jello successfully but as he arose to take his bows he saw the flaming mink lying on the ground. This was when the problem occurred.

Dave mistakenly thought something had gone horribly awry and the burning hair was the remnants of his "Firefighter's Handlebar 'Stache," one of those things worn by many in the profession which frankly look more like something that would be growing around the ball sack of an aging yak instead of on a person's upper lip. He started to hop out of the fire helmet to save his 'stache, but his rotting fishnets caught on a helmet strap and he fell hard, twisting his ankle. The woman is suing for her mink and damages to her mental health, but although his ankle is hurting, his yak nut moustache is intact.........for better or for worse.

As for Mick, I saw an article in the Fort Wayne News saying that a man had been arrested for parading around in a potato stuffed thong singing some butchered words to an old Do-Wop song sounding like, "Shimmee, Shimmee, Koko Puff" ..............I'm sure this was Mick as the report also said the guy had stuffed the potato in the back of the thong instead of the front thus making it appear he was taking a dump.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Hrothgar
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 04:01 AM

Remember what happened to poor McKittery, Mick!

Run!

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Amos
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 12:33 AM

Uhoh, Mick!! The Fayre One is batting her eyelashes!!

LOL!!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Nov 03 - 12:24 AM

Classic!! Love it Peter/Susan and can these Udder Mudders plan or what!? I've got the purple pasties with the black tassles my ex-pseudo daughter-in-law gave me for Christmas. Shall I bring those? OH, and I've got some great veils to go with them, as well as the tinkly belled ankle bracelets, bangles, spangles, rings, etc. And, No, the won't fit you, Kokodarlin', but me dad, the welder, might be able to fashion you a pretty or two.

Mick, it'd be worth giving Homeless a shout. I don't know how close he is to Ft, Wayne, but the State's the same.:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: alison
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 11:42 PM

so when you're finishsed gallivanting all around the US being chased by a gorilla and various mudcat females.... any chance of coming over here to organise something?

slainte

alison

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Dave Swan
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 11:05 PM

Let's get this whole gorilla suit thing straight.

As I said here years ago, I wear a gorilla suit and fishnet stockings when listening to Rick Fielding's radio show.

KoKo is a sovereign entity, a long lost lover of Mick's from his days upon the high seas. She seems to think that as a partner in Lane Fielding Patterson and Swan, Layabouts for Hire, I've got some juice to get her a date with Mick. She posts on my cookie, 'cause there's no way I'm telling a five hundred pound gorilla that she can't use my keyboard. But..and make no mistake about this...KoKo is NOT me in a gorilla suit.

Got it?

D

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Noreen
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 10:52 PM

Am I too late?

:0)

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: mg
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 09:49 PM

I gave up on the big mick but Tinker you sound way more my style. Can you get me in pictures in Hollywood???? Nice ones of course. mg

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Tinker
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 09:06 PM

Okay, no heels...but my directors jacket is leather and carries memories of a affable irish con man who paid us in worthless stock and this great Hollywood style jacket with multicolor leather applique. I should have been more specific.
As for control, that crowd will need my teacher of severe special needs skills more than anything else. I've wanted to meet Koko for awhile now....

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Janie
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 07:27 PM

Uh...guys and girls? The bad writing contest is an entirely separate thread:-)

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 06:27 PM

Poor Mick...
Every 'visit' needs a camera-weilding, black leather wearing directoratrix! We must, however, try to remember that Mick still is, after all, mortal.

I hope Dave_O still wants to meet you. You can drive down, he can drive up, and you both can hang out in Kokomo. (I lived there for 3 years. I know where all the fleshpots are...70 miles south in Indianapolis.) You can meet Koko in Kokomo. You can tour the Chrysler plant. You can visit all the nice cornfields and watch all the kids make sacrifices to whassisface. In any case, don't let the growing horde of females (and cross-species-dressing males) scare you off!

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Tinker
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 05:15 PM

Jeri, if he is involved in solving the labor dispute in this thread it might consitute a conflict of interest in his decision making process.

Tinker


P.S. I have a few sheer things you might want to add to your packing. They might be a little short though... Thought I might do the director/camera thing in black leather and heels to try and keep a modicum of control over the crowd. What do you think??

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Amos
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 04:27 PM

I'd love to come but I am afraid I'd have a chilling effect on the whole process of selection, especiallyw ithout a gorilla suit!! LOL!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Tinker
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 04:12 PM

Jeri, you get this one organized and I'll come document it on video...We could turn it into one of those "real world" shows and let mudcat vote on his choices...LOL

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: mg
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 03:43 PM

no..I have my pride...mg

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Jeri
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 03:03 PM

Mary, don't be shy!
He's travelling at the moment, so we have time to plan this. I say Dave puts on the gorilla suit, Peter/Susan Atahualpa Oobiedoobieramalamdingdong, gets his/her collection of shoes and a gorilla suit, Alison gets a body-paint job, and you and I just pack some lacy things and we all just show up at his hotel room. Let HIM figure it out. (Hey, if noting else, he can organize us.) Anybody else?

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: mg
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 02:21 PM

OK I give up. It is bad enough that you have (a) a wife and (b) a fancy for the The Fair One in pretty color, but I'll be darned if I will compete with a gorilla. ;mg

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Peter T.
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 01:12 PM

(Sob). Do I take it then that you are laughing at me, after my sincere proposal of what my late husband Snuffi used to refer to, during our courting days along the Niger, as "ramping up to matrimony"? Why can I not be your "laptop on the road"? -- I can well recall Snuffi's demands as we drove in chauffered luxury through the streets of our beloved capital, which I draw a veil over here, but which would be unveiled, if indeed, as I outlined in my earlier missive, a Fort Waynean tryst were to be arranged, not forgetting the 1$ billion slush fund which needs to be transferred as soon as possible, awaiting your reply.

I cannot wait for continental drift to bring us together: Air Leopardi schedules its flights somewhat haphazardly, but.....

enamelled and enamoured,

Susan Atahualpa Ohooroombalalaroobalalasisboomba.

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 11:48 AM

After I suggested (above) that Mick and I meet, I discovered it was a really bad weekend, at least for evening meetings. Saturday was my 73rd birthday, and my Beautiful Wife and I had theater tickets, to be followed by a wonderful birthday dinner. Sunday night was dinner at my daughter's house (in honor of the same occasion). And Monday was scheduled for a couple of hours in the recording studio, working on my forthcoming CD.

And then I gather that Mick was kept chasing his tail all through the period with the union matters he was trying to deal with here in Indianapolis.

Well, I look forward to another time, Mick.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Big Mick
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 09:32 AM

There is now, and ever will be, only one Peter T....ROFLMAO. Thanks for a good laugh, makes the day start right.


Right then, off to join the fray.. I will check in using the laptop from the road.

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 09:15 AM

You might catch John Hardly on the way, depending how you go. Say hi to the place for me, I lived there as a child.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Peter T.
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 09:15 AM

You will be surprised to receive this letter, but I am the ex-wife of the president of Sierra Leopardi, the Right Honourable Snuffi Ohooroombalalaroombalalasisboomba, and while that gorilla loves you merely for your booty, I love you for your soul. I am also willing to wear a gorilla suit if that is what is required to win your heart and other appurtanences. I also have a hot bankaccount which only requires a somewhat complicated transaction involving an offshore account that was for some reason left in my care following the butchering of most of our people by the beloved leader, S. Ohooroombalalaroobalalasisboomba. If you would be willing to open a bank account in Fort Wayne, I would fly to you on the wings of Amour and Air Leopardi. Pay no attention to other offers from other continents, particularly Australia,

your inamorata in whatever suits you,

Susan Atahualpa Ohooroombalalaroobalalasisboomba.

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Amos
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 08:55 AM

Too far a drive for me, Mick-me-lad!! Good luck in the scrap though!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Fort Wayne
From: Big Mick
Date: 05 Nov 03 - 07:33 AM

Swan, you mug. I loved that.

Didn't get to hook up with Dave O in Indy. I am really disappointed in that. I will be back there and we will meet.

I came home and wasn't even in the driveway when the phone went off. I have to turn around and head for Ft. Wayne for 10 days. Any Mudcatters in the area?

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Dave Swan
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 03:42 PM

OH MicKEY,

YOuu ina hotl Roomm, allALone? I wil come to Indeanaopla r iiiight now. I will wer my teddy for My Slimmed dwon jngle loverr.

Luve..Your Koko

Subject: RE: BS: Big Mick to Indianapolis
From: Alaska Mike
Date: 01 Nov 03 - 07:15 AM

Hey Mick, I wish I could meet up with you in Indianapolis, but we just got back to Anchorage and my lovely wife don't want me to go anywhere right now. Give them chisling employers a little hell for me while you are there.

Best wishes to you my friend,
Mike