Folk Sucks

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 02 Apr 11 - 01:07 AM

Rapparee: "You mean our Guest could be a vacuum cleaner?"

In his dreams!..but then, he might have a overly inflated opinion of himself!

GfS

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Apr 11 - 10:22 AM

You mean our Guest could be a vacuum cleaner?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 01 Apr 11 - 10:19 AM

I wouldn't argue with 'GUEST,folk smells of poo'.....he might just be an expert on sucking!

GfS

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Mar 11 - 10:45 AM

It only now occurred to ma, but aren't "Folk Sucks" some sort of candy?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 11 - 02:51 PM

Yes, Grasshopper. Embrace the silliness, for that is the essence of Folk. Well, that and maybe booze. And bodhrans. And maybe banjos.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 29 Mar 11 - 07:09 PM

LH... hahahahaha.

Childish? Yeah. So? Made me laugh. I embrace the silliness as much as possible.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Mar 11 - 06:35 PM

Sometimes he does. Other times, he's in the pink.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Mar 11 - 06:26 PM

Does Kermit the Frog ever get the greens?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 29 Mar 11 - 04:53 PM

"The old tin sandwich". I had a lady friend who sucked on the downbeat when she was doin the blues. She was a great harpy.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 29 Mar 11 - 04:06 PM

You would do - the secret is to take the tuna out of the can before making the sandwich.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Les from Hull
Date: 29 Mar 11 - 02:58 PM

As an exponent of the old tin sandwich, on blues numbers I find I suck more than I blow.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Stringsinger
Date: 29 Mar 11 - 12:39 PM

One interesting point that this trolling engenders is that folk music is a part of scatology and prurience.

Sucking noises maybe the subject of some folk songs.

Much folk music emanates from this humble development.

Check schoolyard rhymes and dirty limericks.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 05:43 PM

I wish to congralute the Reichstatspolizei on their belated capture and execution of your Uncle Charley, Rap. Damn shame they could not have caught up with him sooner, isn't it? ;-)

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 04:54 PM

Hmmmm.. that sounds kinda... you know. Or maybe it's just me.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 04:51 PM

Was he known as Dichter Unbekannt before he left Germany?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 04:03 PM

Nah, just at typical example of my ancestors. You should have heard about my Uncle Charley Windhorst, who immigrated to the States back about 1862 by way of San Fransisco (there were excellent reasons he took the long way). THERE was a true folk musician. He was a virtuoso on the bodhran,the bagpipes, the banjo, and every other instrument beginning with "B" (he was a bit of a compulsive sort). He wrote thousands of songs under the pen name "A. Nony Mous" and never received a cent in royalties as a result. He wandered from town to town and gold camp to city, cadging drinks, cheating at faro, seducing young women, bumming cigars, running out on bills. And all the time writing such great songs as "Roll Me Over In The Clover," "Knees Up, Mother Brown," "Ach, du Lieber Augustine," and "The Bastard King of England." Uncle Charley was finally tracked down by the Reichstatspolizei and executed for "bad mouthing Otto von Bismarck's ugly daughter"; this happened in Roy, Wyoming. At least, that's what Uncle Charley's diary says happened and he should know.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 11:16 AM

filth! pure filth!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 10:07 AM

Lewd's the shorter of the two by a couple of inches.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 05:56 AM

LOL, Al

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 28 Mar 11 - 04:17 AM

Is he the one with septic nipple? or the other one hiding his erection behind a long coat, and trying not to look shifty?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 11 - 10:18 PM

Monkey-boy, why don't you just go swing from trees by your tail? Oh, yeah, you ain't got one.

But I gotta post this 'cause it's so very cool to find a picture of my ancestor, Ludwig (we called him "Lewd") Windhorst with...FRANKENSTEIN!!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Mar 11 - 09:42 PM

You must be dumber than I thought if you think I'm gonna go paradin' around out on the western plains makin' a long distance target of myself for yer benefit, Jocko. I mostly work in the inner city areas. Cramped territory. A lotta stuff in the way of a clear shot. For an environment like that, you gotta have a relatively short range weapon that lays down a heavy volume of fire. I woulda thought you would know that, but maybe I am dealin' with an amateur here, huh? My advice is, think it over long and hard before you come to play in my neighborhood, Horsefeathers.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 11 - 08:51 PM

Shucks, monkey-boy, you won't even see me. I'll nail you from a kilometer (better than half-a-mile) away). Don't bother to run, you'll only die tired.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: olddude
Date: 27 Mar 11 - 06:23 PM

Here is some Folks that really do suck for a living
sucks-a-lot

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 27 Mar 11 - 05:17 PM

Indeed Donuel... caught em on Leno or Letterman last week... great stuff! And Steve is just as funny in the pre-gig interview as ever.
Their acapella comedy was OTT! Bluegrass extrordinaire!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Donuel
Date: 27 Mar 11 - 11:36 AM

The Steve Martin and new city ramblers are great.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 27 Mar 11 - 11:14 AM

Yeah? I got a friend who makes your "friend" look like a little piece of milquetoast......Jocko.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Mar 11 - 10:31 AM

You call me "Jocko", punk? Yeah, you did. How'd you like me to do to you what they did to O'Bannion, huh? Or ol' Jimmie H.? I got a new friend through whom I can send you a present....

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 11:32 PM

And if it IS yer boot...then find the jerk who pissed in it, punch his lights out, and pour it out over his head while he is layin' unconscious on the ground.

That's what Tura Satana and her gal pals would do. Straight to the point with a stilleto heel. That's how I like 'em.



- Chongo

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 11:22 PM

If it ain't your boot, why worry about it, Jocko?

- Chongo

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 11:19 PM

Folk IS jazz IS blues IS R&B IS hand jive IS gospel. Screw them 1954 dudes, they don't know enough to pour piss outa a boot with the directions on the heel.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 11:14 PM

Folk ain't totally without merit. But it'll never be jazz.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 09:14 PM

Don't ya just hate it when they go to the pledge breaks and ya already sent yer coin in a while back and they drone on and on and they're just talkin about shit and tryin ta fill in time kinda like I am doin now? I hate that. Not as much as the fact that I can't just give MPBN a few bucks and get a hat... I don't need a fuckin tote bag or a set of DVDs of whatever or whatever but most of us old guys need a hat on accounta it's cold in the winter and it's sunny in the summer on our bald heads. Jaysus H eh? How can I send money to MPBN when they don't even know old guys are often bald fer Chrissakes? They can't do the math?

I should apply fer a job in their marketing department. First day... "Hey, you got any hats? No? Yer fired!"

And, yeah, I have asked about Mudcat Café hats many times. Apparently, there are no bald 'Catters.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Don Firth
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 08:34 PM

Yeah, Bill, I saw that one also. Same pledge break. I agree. Kind of insipid.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 08:19 PM

Yep.. I saw that a couple of years ago. Very nice program.

(On the other hand, MY local station aired something called "John Sebastian hosts a 60's folk retrospective".... which consisted of brief clips of 'some' stuff from the 60s, then someone else doing the same songs. yuck! If that was all I had ever seen of 'folk', I'd agree it sucked. It was the most insipid bunch of...... whatever...)

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Don Firth
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 06:48 PM

Which reminds me—    My local PBS affiliate has aired a two-hour special a couple of times in the current (seemingly perpetual) pledge break.

"The Weavers : Wasn't That a Time?"

Most enjoyable.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 04:53 PM

Noreen... darn!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 04:46 PM

Folk Socks.
Indeed.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 01:16 PM

Well, I should have known Firefox would have 'something' similar.

They have "CoolPreviews", which gives a preview box of ANY link, not just an image. It is slower than the Opera add-on, though...(a little icon appears, and you hover that).
Firefox may even have others...

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 01:12 PM

Thanks for pointing out that extension, Bill. I use Opera but hadn't found that item. It works.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 11:45 AM

I can show you all the next best thing to actually having pics posted in the threads.

The link above, that Rap just posted..... all I did was hover my cursor over it for a second, and voila! The image appeared! (464X383 pixels). I didn't even need DOCumentation.

How?I use a newish Opera browser (version 11) with an 'extension' added..[image preview popup](yes...similar to Firefox extensions. I have no idea if Firefox has one similar)

I often post links to pics that get no response, and I am sure that many just don't want to bother, or are wary of going to some unknown site. This trick shows ONLY the image, and only as long as you hover over it..... it's hard NOT to glance at it.

Try it....you'll like it!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 11:41 AM

Are we sure that the OP is not called Mr (or Mrs) Solk and has not just made an inadvertant Spoonerism?

As to the smell - Well, other posters on here refer to the folk poo-lice often enough. Maybe it is just the pungent aroma of mouldy old folkies sat in their damp cellars trying to stop everyone having fun?

:D (eG)

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 11 - 07:30 AM

You want a picture? As Holmes says, make a link to it Watson.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: olddude
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 09:56 PM

images, terrible idea, Max is absolutely correct. Someone posts a copyrighted image and the Poo hits the folk fan ... for sure

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 09:47 PM

Max... "mudcat.org is a permanent idea for me, it must always adhere to a functionality that survives the flux that is the rest of the internet."

15 years... gosh. Just think. What you created will go on forever as that permanent idea as long as the people who inherit this site from you adhere to your committment to free speech with the one simple "BUT".

Sorry to sound sappy, and for the slight thread drift (alignment?) in support of your posts, but like you said, this thread reminds me of the old days and why they were important in making this community what it is today and will be in the future.

Dunno if that makes any sense to anybody else but I never really cared too much about that.

Thanks Max... and thanks poo.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Max
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 08:28 PM

All are making valid points about the images. It's a big ball of wax really.

Just think, if we allowed the display of images hosted elsewhere from our start 15 years ago, how many of those images do you think would still be there?

mudcat.org is a permanent idea for me, it must always adhere to a functionality that survives the flux that is the rest of the internet.

Jeri is right too, accessibility is important to me. Accessibility in that the site works with old browsers and low bandwidth and also the accessibility for the handicapped. As a publisher in the United States, I have a civil obligation to make sure that my site is accessible to e-readers that are used for the blind. In fact, late last year my employer, Penn State University, got in some hot water over this very issue. Images make it a lot more complex.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 08:17 PM

Just say "link"!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 08:16 PM

It 'could' be handled by having folks turn off image loading and just manually loading them......


nawwww... 68.417% couldn't deal with it. (I remember when we DID do it 15 years ago, and if a bad link (like a deleted pic) was posted, it stalled the entire system.)

What I'd love to see is allowing each 'member' space for 2-3 pics of 'X' size, and the ability to change them... so there'd be no waiting. I suppose that would require a lot of programming, and lead to other hassles.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Jeri
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 07:03 PM

The explanation in the past is that displaying links to large files (photos, music) on other websites increases the time it takes to load a thread, and Max is all about accessibility. We have some people here who have problems with long threads even when they use the features that only show them 50 posts at a time. One really big image, and they're screwed.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 06:50 PM

As a former System Administrator, Vic, I can say that the problem snowballs. Not only does it include increased use of bandwidth, but also increased storage capacity on the servers and the problems of copyrighted material being (probably inadvertently) used without regard to royalties.

Max is right on this one. Besides, it's his ball.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 02:48 PM

Vic, have you seen some of the subjects that get talked about on Mudcat....??? LOL

I mean, gee whizz, just imagine it......with pictures!!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Vic Smith
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 02:05 PM

Max wrote:-
"Our current policy is that whoever pays the bandwidth bill gets to post images."

Good answer - and as I would not want to pay for (what must be pretty large) bandwith - so I can certainly live with that.

Now, just a theoretical enquiry; I know it is not going to happen. If you were to allow links to other photos on the web via the img and /img HTML instructions, would it actually increase your bandwidth substantially? Just asking out of interest.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 12:24 PM

I don't believe that spaw has a hundred of 'em. Maybe 99 or 101, but not exactly 100.

But then, with spaw you never know for sure. He might not be wearing deodorant.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,999
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 12:19 PM

Spaw, Jeri says you have a hundred of 'em. May I ask how you would respond to that?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Jeri
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 12:15 PM

100

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 12:05 PM

......And I have a lovely hemp strap too!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,999
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 12:02 PM

I'm chuckling at the notion of a musician being asked, 'What wood is your guitar, etc, made from?'

'Tulipwood.' Tell THAT to the Customs people!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bill D
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 11:56 AM

well, very strong and pungent roses. The only Rosewood that smells like flowers is Brazilian Tulipwood

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 10:59 AM

Some folks are of the opinion that while Brazilian Rosewood actually smells like roses, East Indian Rosewood smells more like dog poo. While I agree that IER doesn't smell the least bit like roses, I've never noticed a similarity to dog poo. One of my IER guitars did smell like cat poo for a while, but that was entirely because a cat shit in its case .

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 10:43 AM

Anyone for a poo-tenanny?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: olddude
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 10:07 AM

Sniffed my guitar, it really does smell like poo .. Oh wait
that is my shoe ... dang wiener dogs ... bad dog bad dog

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Will Fly
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 09:06 AM

The House At Poo Corner is in the village of Hartfield in the Ashdown Forest (UK).

Just a little way from there is Poo Sticks Bridge, where you can play Poo Sticks.

To play Poo Sticks, you stick your bum over the bridge rail and...

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 08:53 AM

The guest should be easy to find since he, she, or it obviously lives in The House At Poo Corners and there is a hunny bucket in the living room.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,VaTam_blowing in
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 08:52 AM

But have you seen how small the Werthers are now. Hardly "werth" the effort, for the little gratification you get.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 08:28 AM

Werthers are very good for folk who like to suck...

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 08:21 AM

Well I think that if folk sucked they'd be more popular, at least with the suckees.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 08:04 AM

Sticky out tongue smiley!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 07:58 AM

False modesty as always.....stop fishing!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 07:55 AM

"Oh Lizzie! so young and beautiful and so bitter....."

Sadly, I have to answer "Nope!" to all three of those...although I don't mind answering "Nope!" to the last one. ;0)

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Wesley S
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 07:47 AM

Folk sucks? And I always thought Folk blows.

Or maybe folk is like a harmonica. You get the best results when you suck AND blow......

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 06:08 AM

Oh Lizzie! so young and beautiful and so bitter.....


Still I can remember feeling the same sense of betrayal when Eric Clapton left The Yardbirds. Its the way the world turns, dear. None of us are to blame - its life itself that sucks - folk suckers are just part of the rich pageant.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 05:09 AM

Is a Folk Suck what happens when you see a mind-blowing folk musician or band on stage..and you suck in your cheeks to give them a really loud whistle of appreciation at the end of their song?

Maybe it's the expression on my face when I read a cErtain mEssageboard or cErtain pOsters on here who make me go "Oooh! You so and so!"

OR......perhaps Folk Sucks are bands who betray their long time fans when they feel they no longer need 'em...and they go sucking up pAstures nEw..

Who knows?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 04:52 AM

Folk Sucks from Round the World
Folk Sucks Round the Campfire
Folk Sucks for Children
The Folk Sucks of Our Fathers

What can one say when the cap fits so well...?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 04:04 AM

Suck! suck, GUEST,folk smells of poo, Blow is just an expression!!

GfS

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 03:44 AM

Mebbe Guest folk smells of poo, can't find his / her way back here. Mebbe wandering lost in other threads on the forum. Buried under a load of other folk and non folk related poo.

This is so sad.   Can we use the dachshund to sniff out poor old poo for us?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Joe Offer
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 03:42 AM

Hey, is the An Anthology of American Folk Sucks available for download anywhere?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Don Firth
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 12:50 AM

Shucks! We ain't had this much fun since Uncle Billy-Bob went out to take a crap and got et up by the hawgs!!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 12:43 AM

Now, I am truly saddened by all this.

Don't you see what we've done? We've scared away our little pet Troll, our Grand Poo-bah of Poop. We have, perhaps unintentionally, cried "Scat" and he has done just that - robbing us of the pleasure of a little intellectual give-and-take. (Or, as we used to refer to it in days of yore, "Shooting the shit.")

Alas...

I shall repair to my lair (to quote George Carlin), work on my guitar's Dropped Poo tuning, and sing "Poo Hoo" to ease my tortured mind... ;-)

Jay

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: LadyJean
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 12:15 AM

I own a book of knitting patterns called "Folk Socks From Around The World". It has so much information on sock knitting that I call it, Everything You've Always Wanted To Know About Socks*

*But Were Afraid To Ask

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: J-boy
Date: 25 Mar 11 - 12:10 AM

I've always found folks that suck to be good people in general.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 11:57 PM

We need MORE from Guest.folk smells of poo. Who else has reaped a whirlwind like this, lately?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 11:06 PM

I can see how that might work out.

Great Irish Folk Sucks
Folk Sucks of the British Isles
An Anthology of American Folk Sucks
Folk Sucks   - Learned at My Mother's Knee
Traditional Folk Sucks
Contemporary Folk Sucks
Folk Sucks for Guitar
Folk Sucks for Banjo
Roger Whittaker - singing his Favourite Folk Sucks
An introduction to Folk Sucks
The English Folk Dance and Song Sucks
Val Doonican - Singer of Folk Sucks

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bobert
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:46 PM

Hmmmmmmm??? Cheaters callin' the cheaters "cheaters"... Don't get much better than this, folks...

Meanwhile my VCU Rams is all just tough kids from the school yards and they are cleanin' ya'll's clocks???

Go figure???

B~

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Max
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:40 PM

Now may not be the best time to talk smack Spaw, ya'll are a bunch of cheaters after all. We don't pay our players here, so maybe it ain't quite a fair fight. We believe in more than W's here at Old State.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 09:35 PM

This thread is very sad. There's Hawk who confuses sperm and semen. Sperm are tiny, microscopic, and virtually colorless, whereas semen comes (so to speak) in a wad and is normally off-white. Some seaman are blue in the winter.

Then there's Max. Have pity on poor Max folks. The young man has recently been assigned new jobs at Penn State and one of them is to find a sport where they might have a chance of doing well. Right now its Tiddly-Winks so you can see how tough it is on the lad.


Spaw

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 09:17 PM

Actually, Bill, I don't think the Great Dane even knew the Yorkie was there. Really sad.

Close, Mike, very close.

Well, lemme see, now. My great grandfather came from the Orkneys, rounded the Horn, and went to work in the San Juan Islands in Puget Sound for the Hudson's Bay Company. He was the First Firth in these parts. He settled there, returned to Orkney to bring his sweetheart back to the San Juans with him. Among their nine children was my grandfather. He was the Second Firth. Then my father. Third. Then I came along. The Firth of Fourth.

Somebody once said that the reason my great grandfather like the San Juan Islands so well was because it reminded him of the Orkneys. But with trees.

The story has it that the Orkneys are practically bereft of trees because of the constant winds off the North Atlantic. Those who've grown up on the Islands are constantly compensating for the perpetual wind. So much so that whenever they leave the islands for someplace without the constant wind, they habitually tend to lean to the West.

One (at least one) of our Mucatters is from Orkney. I asked her if this was true about having to compensate for the wind, and she allowed as how it really was.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 09:07 PM

'"...he was forever trying to "romance" the Great Dane."

Surely she wouldn't stoop so low!'


Ahem! Think hillsides

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:54 PM

It is a little-known fact that Don also fenced foil (and was pretty danged good at it, too). At a match, his bottle was called the Fifth of the foil-fencing Fourth of Firth.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:32 PM

Wait till you meet his FOLKS, he may have a point!...but then the apple ususally doesn't fall far from the tree!!!

Me,
GfS

P.S. Don't mess with my Mudcat buds!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:24 PM

Don was actually the last of a set of quadruplets. Yes, he really IS the Fourth of Firth! Back in his drinking days, his bottle was known as the Fifth of the Fourth of Firth.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 07:54 PM

Save up some of that plaid sperm and freeze it, Don! You may get your name written up in the science papers yet.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 07:23 PM

VT... "Keep to the topic folks. This is important stuff. Do you want to disappoint the troll?"

Ahhhh.... yeah.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: frogprince
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 07:18 PM

Wesley, that sounds kinda like the one from:

    "Before we cut off his tail and painted him yellow, he was an alligator"

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Wesley S
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 06:27 PM

One of the ugliest dogs I ever saw was an obvious cross between a long haired Dachshund and a Dalmatian. I'm not sure which parent was what. Long haired and spotted with a Dachshund body and the head of a Dalmatian.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 06:25 PM

You mean it's NOT all plaid!??

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 06:00 PM

Sperm isn't white. It's sort of creamy coloured.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Gurney
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 05:53 PM

Tam, it seems to me that we were all waiting for something interesting to be posted, and this is it! When was the last thread that Max contributed two posts to? Tech excepted, naturally.

I have trouble believing that I read my way down to here.

Fred, "W****r." You missed an asterisk, and I spent time trying to work out which word you meant.

BBP, that reminds me of an old joke.
'Why is sperm white, but excreta brown?'

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 05:46 PM

"...he was forever trying to "romance" the Great Dane."

Surely she wouldn't stoop so low!

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 05:24 PM

serious thread drift...

Keep to the topic folks. This is important stuff. Do you want to disappoint the troll?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 05:07 PM

Hmmm... maybe the Dachshund is also actually Chongo and Penny and... hmmmm... maybe actually LH. Maybe the Dachy is actually one of those alien life forms he himslef in the persona of LH defends as real thereby executing the ultimate ruse upon mere humans. Of course, Kirk will eventually pull that fire plug on him so he can't piss on it anymore. Unless Kirk is actually... oh dear... we are doomed.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 05:06 PM

On the other hand, I had a friend with a female Great Dane. A woman friend of his had a male Yorkshire terrier. The Yorkie was the horniest critter on four legs and he was forever trying to "romance" the Great Dane.

Some relationships seem doomed from the start. Sad.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 05:04 PM

Well now, I can see the candlelight dinners and the kinky sex working okay, but I'm trying to visualize your Dachshund and the attractive young woman managing the romantic hand-holding during long moonlight walks on the beach. Looks like either she's going to have to walk in a real low squat or he's going to have to spend a lot of time dangling.

Tricky!

Don Firth

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Little Hawk
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 04:38 PM

My Dachshund has been getting away with that for years, Don. ;-) He has a whole bunch of people online convinced that he's an attractive 20-something law school grad living in Connecticut and seeking a "meaningful relationship" with a similarly attractive 20-something woman who's into long walks on the beach, candle-lit dinners, and kinky sex.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 03:52 PM

It becomes more obvious all the time that—CLICKY.

Don (ARF!!) Firth

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 03:06 PM

When I consider how my life was spent
making music that some said, was like excrement
I called it folk, and it kept me poor
But it wasn't defined in 1954.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 02:50 PM

Hahahahahahaaaaaa... good one Max.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Max
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 02:31 PM

Our current policy is that whoever pays the bandwidth bill gets to post images. All are welcome to participate. (now I'm trolling) Fun.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 02:27 PM

It's not the entirety of folk that smells like poo, just the instrument cases that cats have mistaken for litter boxes.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 01:35 PM

Doesn't he get extra credit for calling you a "moderator"?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Max
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 01:23 PM

Excellent trolling Vic, I think you got it.

"greedily"... nice.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Vic Smith
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 01:16 PM

Wouldn't Mudcat be a more interesting place if the moderators allowed all members to post illustrations and photos along with their posts, rather than greedily keeping it to themselves as they do at present?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: olddude
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 01:00 PM

Leave it to Max to say something we have to look up

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Lighter
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:58 PM

Thanks. Moar at
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Moar

So, as usual, it's worse than I thought.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:44 PM

"Lurk Moar" at Encyclopedia Dramatica. Miz Pelling iz kyoot.

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:39 PM

We don't say "so-and-so sucks" in the UK. We're far more likely to say "so-and-so is shite, or a whole host of other disparaging terms. But "sucks"? Nah, not one of ours - strictly USA-ian, and Ozzie soaps (Oz becoming the 51st state of the USA, seemingly).

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:37 PM

Well, yes it does. Let's be honest with ourselves: if folk didn't suck, how would you get stuff up the straws you use to drink your beer?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Lighter
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:33 PM

In the cartoon (clearly created from experience), what the hell is "moar"?

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:30 PM

Seems to me somebody should start a social wetnorking site for trollery and call it "Twatter".

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: GUEST,BBP at work
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:07 PM

No Max, Pee is yellow, poo is brown!

And I love the cartoon :-)

BBP

Subject: RE: Folk Sucks
From: Max
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 12:02 PM

Jeri, you think too much. It's just yellow text on a yellow background. :)

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 11:34 AM

The OT sounds as if he were posting from the flushing loo on an airplane. You'll find both "suck" AND "poo" there.

Who brings their laptops into the air crapper anyway? Does an aiplane's WiFi even work in there? Could you text your friend if you discovered no TP? Would there be a whole phenomenon involving loo-netting? Sending poo-mail or pee-texting (most likely not a guy, unless he's got hand's free something)?

So many questions...

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Lighter
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 11:26 AM

We say, "Does it suck, or what?"

That means, "I can't imagine it doing anything else!"

Is the OP about fourteen years old, or what?

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: GUEST,d
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 11:22 AM

No, no and what in the US, at least as far as I know.

We could make a list of poo songs

Over The Hills To The Poo House (Flatt & Scruggs, Back in the Auld Outhouse Days)

Could't make a list without Poo Folks (Bill Anderson)"Everybody Said We Was Poo Folks."


Well, there's bound to be more, but that's a start, poo though it may be.

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: topical tom
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:52 AM

Ah ha ha ha! What a great joke thread! But seriously, GUESTfolk smells of poo, you need to sit down before you fall. BTW, what planet do you hail from?

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: GUEST,VaTam_Yo
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:50 AM

Naah, we got "poo" in America too

But in the US they don't say "and what"

That is typical chav speak, innit?

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:38 AM

Max, I tried looking at the website from whence that image comes and got trojan horse warnings, but you probably knew that.

The secret to trolling is leaving words out so people have to talk about whatever it was you said? It's like, the negative space, man. It's like the void in the swirling, cacophonous chaos that draws the out the hot howling breath of mad minds and spins it into the congealing core of an inspired and inspirational IDEA.

...or not-- who knows?

I mean, really: WHO KNOWS?

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: PHJim
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:33 AM

Although I`m not offended by this thread and I think I have a pretty good sense of humour, I haven`t laughed at anything here. I`ve seen a lot of Mudcat threads that made me laugh, but this one doesn`t even raise a smile. What am I missing?

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: GUEST,VaTam_smelling of gruff goats
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:29 AM

Maybe OP is really making a comment on Mudcat Cafe folk and not the music genre.

Which is why I always wash and liberally apply TrollBeGone rollon before I log in.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6kD4ksA16as

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:23 AM

SPAWWWWWWWWW - get yer buns in here, need ya

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:22 AM

Hey, I get it... it's one of those leave-the-sentence-unfinished-and-pass-it-on games. So:

hahahah it sucks and what

our smelly guest doesn't know is that he's standing right under a great big...

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: gnu
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:22 AM

No need to poo-poo any responses. Max said it reminds him of the old days. That was my first thought after I read a few posts... reminds me of the Eminem thread, among others. Ahhh, those were the days.

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Will Fly
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:21 AM

I find now the need to go sniff my guitar to see if it has any poo odor

Dan, in the days before smoking was banned in public areas in the UK, I used to play in a Memphis/New Orleans-style funk band in a bar in Brighton called The Lion & Lobster. I didn't smoke - haven't smoked for over 40 years - but I used to wake up the next day and take my guitar out of its case. It reeked of tobacco!

I think poo is probably better for you... particularly folk poo... :-)

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: olddude
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:14 AM

Thank you, that was priceless I needed a laugh in the worst way. And thanks to whoever started the thread. I take it as just poking fun nothing more. Did make me laugh. I find now the need to go sniff my guitar to see if it has any poo odor LOL

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Bernard
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:12 AM

Consider... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off!

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 10:10 AM

Could "sucks" be a misspelling of "socks"? If so, do you ever wash yours and if not, are you now a solo act without an audience?

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 09:57 AM

Rabbit Season...

Duck Season...

Troll Season...

FIRE!!

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Max
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 09:51 AM

Do not delete this thread. I like it. Reminds me of the old days.

Subject: RE: FOLK SUCKS
From: Lox
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 09:38 AM

I agree ...

... folks inevitably sucks you in ...

.... like the poor OP ...

Quick run while you can before you are ensnared into the vortex!

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 09:31 AM

This thread could have been deleted, but obviously, quite a lot of you think it's worth responding to.

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: Lighter
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 09:04 AM

Naah, we got "poo" in America too.

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: Will Fly
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:40 AM

Sorry - that should read "War And Piss".

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: Will Fly
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:38 AM

The correct tuning is actually "Pooh" tuning - as in Winnie-The-, but lower-class trolls drop their aitches. Bolkonsky serenaded his sweetheart Natasha with this tuning on his balalaika in "War And Pooh".

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: GUEST,glueman
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:35 AM

Interesting post. 'Sucks' has American overtones, while 'poo' suggests British juvenilia. Either way he got a bite.

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: bobad
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:35 AM

Perhaps the OP meant to say FOLKS SUCK.

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:29 AM

Please folk, go easy on the poor, unenlightened Troll. He (?) has given us the gift of laughter, and I've discovered "dropped poo" tuning - something, I'm sure, previously unknown in the world of music.

First song up: The Old Dun(g) Cow...

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: Fred McCormick
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:25 AM

The f***ing w***r.

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: GUEST,999
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:23 AM

The OP has a limited vocabulary. If you people respond with two-or-more syllable words, he's gonna get all screwed up.

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: johncharles
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:18 AM

guest has obviously come across this song
I wish my love was a ripe turd
And smoking down in yon dykeside
And I myself was a shitten flea
I'd suck her up before she dried

of which the normally unfastidious Lloyd confesses, in the note to his recording, "Rather to my own surprise I find myself too prudish to sing it, though I'm impressed by its intensity." (Dallas, Wars 170f)

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:09 AM

I am currently removing three strings from my guitar and will immediately experiment with this new "dropped poo" tuning.

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:06 AM

Does this help define folk music? Is "poo" a new tuning?

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:03 AM

Well at least he didn't post SOLK .....

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: GUEST,Alan Whittle
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 08:00 AM

Yes but its the 1954 defintion of poo......

Subject: RE: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: BrooklynJay
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 07:51 AM

Ahhh... Nothing like a Troll with my morning coffee to help me start the day.

Best laugh I've had all week!

Jay

Subject: Folklore: FOLK SUCKS
From: GUEST,folk smells of poo
Date: 24 Mar 11 - 07:45 AM

hahahah it sucks and what