Seeking Travel Companion

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:16 AM

"cereal killer"

ROFLMAO!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:20 AM

you think is funny, but this thinfg happens, there is plenty bad people about, and we all have to be care full.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:26 AM

especiully as he is guest, i been to plenty mudcat people houses, and loads of mudcart people been here, [to my house], and they never have no prlobem, ie i didn't eat them, and they didnte eat me.
but he is guest, you have to be very carefull noewadays, as some crazy people about, i saw it on telly, it says=2be carefull with interney people, or they might eat you2, they is some really carzy people abourt nowadays, waht not really intrested n music, they just wabnt to eat you for there dinner, .
thats the ones you haf to watch out for.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:27 AM

Would a "Cereal Killer" Song be "The Revenge of John Barleycorn"?

Robin

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:30 AM

and wehn you join mudcat=you have to put your name and a dress, but guest doesent have to, so just be carefull, thats all i;m saying, he might not eat you, but you dont know, you cant be sure.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:31 AM

i just warning you, thats all, dont blame me, if he eats you, not my fault, we told you, serbes you right.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:03 AM

Maybe soon we'll have a thread "Seeking Companion for Dinner"...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,Diva
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:20 AM

John from Hull is, of course, quite right about the need to be careful on the Internet. Well I don't understand it, Guest Gadabout never got back in touch, can't think why LOL. Mind you, at least he didn't say he had a GSOH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:29 AM

Gently stir and flame the fire,
Lay the lady down to roast,
Dress her quickly, I desire,
In the dripping put a toast,
That my hunger may remove --
woman is the meat I love.
On the dresser see her lie;
Skin so charming, lips so red;
Finer meat ne'er met the eye,
On the sweetest fruit she fed:
Let the spit go swiftly round,
Let me have her nice and brown'd.
On the table spread her legs,
Let the knives be sharp and clean,
Pickles, salad and some eggs,
Let her thighs be fresh and lean.
With small beer, good ale and wine,
Oh ye gods! how I shall dine.

(with apologies to) Jonathan Swift + GUEST

fred

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Mooh
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 07:34 AM

If this ain't some joke,
I feel sorry for the bloke.

Arrogantly advertising for a whore on Christmas day. What a looser, a real self-made man! My guess is that his attitude came before his loneliness, if ya know what I mean. Besides, if he's as rich as he pretends, he should use his money for less selfish ends. I heard of a toy drive which fell short in the 9-12 age bracket, and a food bank which was getting low this season...

Now, if it is a joke, which one of us started it? Wish I'd thought of it first!

Love, honour, obey, and LMAO.

Peace, and Merry Christmas, Mooh.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: jimmyt
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 08:13 AM

I guess a seriel killer just kills you and eats you, whereas a cereal killer also puts milk and sugar on you before he eats you.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Bassic
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 08:43 AM

Whereas a sureal killer doesnt have breakfast

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,posterchild
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 09:53 AM

I am not a guest but cannot seem to "reset" my cookie and have not posted in a while. Maybe gadabout could "reset" my cookie, think so? Old rich lonely European men arrange with mistresses and give them everything even their fortunes when they die. It is very common-place in France and even Germany. I was a poor farmgirl with a pretty face and body and I was approached by an intermediary who asked if I would care to be a "friend" to a Nobleman who had observed me in the marketplace with my mother. I agreed to his proposal and in my youthful days he treated me very well and paid for all my travel and educated me and set me up in a nice country house and enough annual allowance to live nicely when he died. We were lovers and good friends for many years. I read many books to him. If I had married as my mother did my life would have been like hers and I saw enough of her poor misery. I have enjoyed my life immensely even though most of you staid settled lot may disapprove.

Marie

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,moony
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 10:06 AM

Mooh, if your toy drives are bust and the food bank is low, why not kindly ask your president to loan you a little Eye-rack money to boost these saggers. But, HEY, what does this have to do with ol' gadabout's dilema.

cereal killer? have you heard about these new cereals???

Whore-E-Os?    they don't snap or crackle or pop, they just lay there.

Queer-E-Os?    eat them before they eat you.

Pros-Ti-Tuties? "box" cost $500.00.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 10:09 AM

I think it had to be a joke and the guitar inventory and name-dropping should reveal the jokester.

In another vein, however, I have to point out that were tragedy to take Hardi from me, leaving me single again, I would have much higher requirements than this gent and could never consider an offer such as his. The fella would have to be rich, AND have an indoor pool AND play nyckelharpa! (I mean, whoa, guitarist, I'm so impressed-- hey, they're a dime a dozen!) Real women want a man who can delicately stroke a nice, refined nyckelharpa in the drawing room and beat the bejesus on my bodhran in the bedroom!!

~Susan

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,stroker
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 10:28 AM

Susan, are your nyckelharpa and bodhran located between your legs? Can we beat them and blow my penny whistle at the same time? Can we perhaps "thrash" this all out? I am getting frisky! Gadabout, old lout, can ye afford two trollops so they we can trip together?

TougueLasher

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Cluin
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 11:37 AM

You: Beautiful, extremely rich, slightly dim but extremely horny young woman with three pubs in Ireland, a tubal ligation, a penchant for extravagant travel and willingness to pay all the bills.

Me: Nuff said. (but I'll add that I hold no murderous grudges against breakfast foods of any stripe)

Let's get together and spend your money.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Hollowfox
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 11:38 AM

I dunno, I'd like to see the responses he gets from the ads in the major newspapers. I mean, when you have bragging rights to being part of an opening act for a Peter Paul and Mary college gig more than thirty five years ago. Wow, now there's a real draw for the non-folkie crowd.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Mooh
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:00 PM

Guest,moony...I don't have a president, and what's with the prejudice?

Susan...I think you're right...again! Kinda like charades, ain't it?

Over and out. Mooh.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: CarolC
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:17 PM

I haven't read all of the responses, so I'm sorry if I'm repeating what anyone else has posted...

Wanted: Nonencumbered straight (but very liberal) female travel companion. Non smoker, social drinker, caucasian, 35-55, attractive, weight according to height, current passport, educated, bi-lingual English-French (preferred), EXTROVERT!, comfortable in any social setting (usabashed), complete physical mandatory, extensive background check WILL be performed by an agency NO criminal record. Excellent salary, all expenses (medical, travel, accomodations, etc), wardrobe furnished, free time, world travel

Sounds like "Seeking Portable Prostitute" would have been a better heading for this thread.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:36 PM

Whore e ohs, that's clever!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: greg stephens
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 01:57 PM

Undoubtedly a joke. Probably perpetrated by JOhn from Hull in order to slip in the "cereal killer" and"put on a dress" lines.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 02:20 PM

Well, this thread is not at all funny! I could have ended up in surgery! Bloody good thing I didn't rush into an operation based on a hasty decision. I feel so cheap and sleezy. Filthy lucre.

Then there is Prostituties: They don't snap, crackle or pop; they just lay in the bottom of the bowl and bang.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Bill D
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 03:23 PM

very old joke:

girl sitting at a bar...a flashy guy with a leer sits down beside her.

"hey, pretty lady....would you go come with me to Acupulco for a week and sleep with me for $50,000?"
she looks at him, astounded..."hmmmm...you know, I just think I might do that!"

"Well", he says, "How about a quickie in the alley for 20 bucks?"
"WHAT?" she sputters, "What kind of girl do you think I am?"
"Oh". he says, "we've settled that...now we're just haggling over prices."

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:13 PM

Bill... that was exquisite!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: wysiwyg
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:29 PM

Bill, if he had a Lear it might be different.

~S~

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,heric
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 04:33 PM

It's all fun and games until someone gets surgically castrated.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:24 PM

OTOH... The marketplace is barren when the customers have Love...

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 05:41 PM

excerpts...
FRY! BASTARD! FRY! For the dastardly things you've done
But before you die We should all have some good ole fun
We should strip and whip you And beat you into a bloody mess
Then what I think we should do And happily, I must confess
We'll let you suffer for awhile Before we begin to castrate you
We'll sit back, relax and smile And think of what else we can do
And when it is all over and done We could all enjoy a good ole egg fry
I would love to participate in all of this I don't find it at all that unusually cruel
Sadly though, it is something I will miss I'll be teaching 'forgiveness' at bible school

Reverend Lester P. Tibble

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:18 PM

freda underhill... OK... I'm disgusted... Happy Holidays.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Peace
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:22 PM

Ditto that, freda. (Would you write s'more?)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,moony
Date: 26 Dec 03 - 06:34 PM

brucie - heh.heh.heh. is this yer true name ol' sod? Thankee for correcting my "cereal" tale. C'mon, Gaddie me boy, pick up a brace of quim and take yer poor ol' Moony to a better place.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 02:25 PM

Actually, I may have a position for a "Centerboard cook" next summer.
If you don't know what that is, you are not a sailor.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,sandy creek
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:19 PM

True Story. Honest! My uncle had a friend in his late 40's who was a general contractor in the early seventies and did quite well and made lots of money. The ol' boy had a series of health problems related to a car crash and required 24 hour care. His wife hired nurses to help her out. The wife died a few years later and one of the nurses (drop dead lovely, perfect rack, blonde, legs up to her...AND bent over A LOT to reveal a most lovely sight!) ended up on top of the heap and nursed yhe ol' boy back to some semblance of health. Musta been the massages. Anyhoooooooooow, when he died the nurse was left most of the money, a nearly new Lincoln and a house on the beach near Wilmington NC. The last time I saw her she told me that was her plan all along. Now...what would you call HER? Are her motives any different than our old pal Gadabout?

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:41 PM

See them gayly gadabout,
They love to play and shout
They never have any cares...
At six O'clock their lo vely nurses will take them home to bed
Because they're tired little teddy bears

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Leadfingers
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:42 PM

Having read Marions busking tour thread I was actually thinking about doing something on the same lines,but preferably WITH another singer
come musician both for travelling company and to make the busking more pleasurable, if slightly less lucrative.Perhaps I might be in the process of reviewing the situation.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Melani
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 03:45 PM

Kendall--try our local rag "Latitude 38." Lots of ads similar to Gadabout's, except they've all got boats.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Charley Noble
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:14 PM

Well, it's turned out to be a worthwhile thread after all.

Wat a nice poem, Freda!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,Jules
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 04:37 PM

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep you mouth shut.
-Ernest Hemingway.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Oaklet
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 07:35 PM

To the originator of the thread. I have little to offer except my love of seafood and possession of a Morris Traveller. And my winning ways with cows. How long is the trip and do you expect any sex? You great git.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 07:40 PM

No, No! Me, ME ME!!
The kids are all raised and gone from home, I am only 52, love to travel, (if you are paying) have all my own teeth (so I can't do gum work...), Mr. wouldn't mind, really, if it pays well.....

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 07:48 PM

Forgot to say, I'm a little bit of a thing...only 102/7 stone...you could bench press me if you want....BONUS QUALIFICATION--!! I play a mean fiddle!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 08:03 PM

Sorch, yer leavin' yerself wide open, so to speak -- let's hope Spaw doesn't open this thread... LOL!!


A

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: freda underhill
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 08:19 PM

be careful bruce and charlie you'll encourage me...

ROAST! GADABOUT! ROAST! For the business ripoffs things you've done
But before you sizzle and pop a bit
We should all have some good ole fun
We'll baste and poach and syrup you And whip you into a fluffy mess
Then what I think we should do as well is put you in a dress
We'll wax and pluck and electrolysize you Before we emotionally castrate you
then we'll put you in a beauty contest and verbally humiliate you
we'll send you as a travelling companion
for freda charlie and bruce
while they are riding in the merc
you'll be thrown about in the boot
when we waltz into the airport lounge
you'll carry the bags in your teeth
and when we're having cocktails in byron bay
you'll be chained to the table beneath
I look forward to participating in all of this and I don't find it unusually cruel
Sadly though, it is something I will miss I'll be teaching "183 knot techniques" at S&M school..

Reverend Gloria Sarmpits and her assistants Looseasabruce and
charmlessbutarmless

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,harp
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:12 PM

I bet what this guy really needs is a nurse and a purse!

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:20 PM

Hey, I shaved my legs last week! (don't ask about the pits....)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: GUEST,rumpromper
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:25 PM

My friends and I are a group (7) of artists and designers who advise several well known New York department stores how to display and advertise for the not so "straight" crowd. Something like "Queer eye for the"...well you know! We have come up with a sinfully delicious vacation roadtrip from NYC to San Francisco. We are going to invite straight couples to go with us all expenses paid and we are going to try to entice the boys away from the girls. They can play too, ooooooohhhhhhh what a threesome, like a triple decker. Ride 'em cowpoke! Yipee-tie-yaaaaaaaa! It is warm in here! AND we are musicians, we all play flutes, snicker, snicker. Any of you mud people want to take a walk on the wild side? How about some "ladies"
to take care of the "girls". Oh, the juices are flowing!

Sad note: Three of my friends are in jail for assaulting an old lady. Two of them held her down while the third one fixed her hair.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: kendall
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:43 PM

Jeeze Sorcha, at first glance, I thought you said you weighed 102 STONE! No, I will not touch that "bench press" remark.

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:49 PM

Oh my no, Cap'n...102 POUNDS or 7 stone....go ahead, give it a shot...Bubba Luke did today, getting me off the Rollback wrecker....LOL! I have a hard time staying stiff for bench presses, tho.........(hee hee hee)

Subject: RE: Seeking Travel Companion
From: Sorcha
Date: 27 Dec 03 - 09:58 PM

(i soooo bad.....)