How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 11:35 PM

BB=Blessed Be and that is what our Sorcha is, so no more of this self-deprecrating crap, womon!

And, now, shall we discuss flattop's pedigree?**BG**

kat

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: SINSULL
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 11:38 PM

flattop has papers? I'll be damned!

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Sorcha
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 11:40 PM

Thanks, Sissie sooz! But I think I is still a not very nice bitch, when push comes to shove. I have very little patience with ignorance (which is so easily fixed), my "Bullshit Quotient" is fairly low, and I am NASTY with telemarketers.......and the Jefe de Policia, if it comes to that. I tell him things he would really rather not know.....but he ignores them because he is an Ostrich King...

Ms Sorcha can and may be addressed as Sorcha the Bitch..and I will know what is really meant! (grin)

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: flattop
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 11:40 PM

You ain't patted a horses ass with a pedigree like mine, kat and I would guess that you've patted a lot of horses asses.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Sorcha
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 11:57 PM

ooo waah, now, flattop, doan you go picikin on kat there! I personally, have patted a LOT of horses asses, and on of 'em was a Derby contendah!!! (He lost, but WTF, right? My sister owned half of him......)

It's not self depracating, kat, it's just the truth the way I see it.......and this thread is not really about me, anyway.

(i wanna see flattop's papers.......)

StB

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: katlaughing
Date: 23 Feb 01 - 11:58 PM

Ummm, flattop...have you looked at your ears lately..a little long aren't they...think you meant "donkey's" ass like yours? And, I ain't nevah touched a donkey's ass!

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 12:01 AM

Sorcha - did you pet the half your sister owned????

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Sorcha
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 12:01 AM

(whhooo, ooo waahh, trying not to blow spit into the keyboard here,,,,,,,,good one, kat!)

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 12:01 AM

You'll get very bored if you insist on seeing flattop's papers. All they say is Genu-wine Nice Guy. If you want real fun, you have to talk with him on the phone. He has the most adorable and VERY MANLY giggle! I know that sounds like somewhat of a contradiction-- and that, he most assuredly is. An individual's individual, and a very nice man. (He's not really Orillian.)

BesBud, bitch you be, and unreconstructed, which is why youse so damn lovable.

~Sisty Ugler

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: flattop
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 12:05 AM

So what part of the donkey did you touch, kat?

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Sorcha
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 12:13 AM

UNRECONSTRUCTED!! I love it!! That's me, the unreconstruced Rebel bitch......oooo spitting more beer on the keyboard, here!!

flattop, if I know the kat, she touched the very best part...........soft, smooth muzzle, long soft ears......there are lots of nice parts to any critter. Where are yours, you Orillian, you? (*grin*)

Are Orillians from Planet Earth? I thought maybe they were from the CropCirclePlanet.........3rd and 1/2 from Sol..........

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: flattop
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 12:20 AM

Cheeky, Sorcha.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 12:46 AM

Ya got that right, Sorcha, the soft muzzle, a scratch behind the ears, gaze into those big brown eyes and a big hug around the neck..all the donkeys I ever knew were very kindl and didn't know anything about crop circles or Orillians...btw are they any relation to Mork, the Orkian? I don't recall Mork ever saying anything about outdoor potties with dummies inside though...maybe just a coincidence...

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Sorcha
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 01:02 AM

I doubt they were related to Mork, kat. Mork was from Ork, not Orilliork........and don't call me "cheeky", flattop, even if I did call you "hon". "Cheeky" doestn't even start to cut it once I get started. Cheeky is the least of my virtues............

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: flattop
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 01:08 AM

Speaking of pedigree, I can't send you papers but you can find a link. Two daughters of a woman named Millie, Lois and Beryl, talked my mother into giving me my stupid bible name. I thought that Lois and Beryl were simply religious busy bodies until I followed a link off one of Lloyd MacDonald's messages from the Cape Breton politics listserver and found their picture along with my aunt Kit's picture. When I asked my father, I was told that Lois and Beryl were distant relatives.

Lois and Beryl

Kit

More distant relative links at the bottom of this page - related through my great grandmother's second cousin from North River or someone like that.

You will note that one of my distant relatives was Gaint Mac Askill. Although far from a giant, I still like to think that I inherited a few of the giant genes.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: wysiwyg
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 03:10 AM

Yes, of course, that would be how your heart got so big... and your ears, nice and roomy for listening.... yup. Of course *G*G*G* those would be the only body parts I can testify about PERSONALLY.

Ooops then there's the size of your musical talent. BIG.

~S~

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: katlaughing
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 03:22 AM

Uh-oh, this could get scary...my Great-granddad Crawford was a very large man from Nova Scotia....he left a bunch of relatives behind, as did my Great-grandmother...according to the charts I have, we go way back to a bunch of different surnames...no MacDonalds that I've found, but ya never know....**BG**

Nice links, flattop...I wish I did have more info on my relatives from there and distant ones who still are there. Got any Fountains, Ralstons, Gordons, Sutherlands anywhere in your lines?

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: sledge
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 03:24 AM

A very painful subject this, I divorced 8 years ago, there were no children invovled, which was in my view a blessing. The emotional mess that I and my ex ended up in was pitiful but thankfully short term. We are now pretty good friends, some of the other posters have mentioned this as happening to them. We both now have a friend we can talk to about anything as we both know each other warts and all. Short term grief, long term gain.

And watch those bloody lawyers, I didn't always think strait and went along with everything they said, cost me an arm and a leg.

Stuart

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Naemanson
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 06:31 AM

So, have we decided that Milly is just a troll? Or not real?

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Wotcha
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 09:37 AM

Milly,
Let me strongly suggest a program called "Divorce Care." It is being used as a sort of group therapy program in many Churches -- you can check out the program on the web (plug in DivorceCare on a search engine). Even if you're not religious, this program covers lots of ground -- depression, finances, kids, anger management, and ... reconciliation.
Believe me, this program is a must see. Call around your local area, and you'll find a program lurking about ... (it was free at the parish I attended) it helps you articulate what you are going through.
Divorce is the same as death, so be prepared for the usual emotional responses ... you need to recognize that you should not get into another relationship for some time. While people are different, the program reckons it'll take about 5 years to recover from a 20 year relationship

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Wotcha
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 09:43 AM

Here's the web site address:

Site has a locator for groups in the US and Canada.
Take care,
Brian

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Wotcha
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 09:44 AM

whoops, the thing evaporated:
http://www.divorcecare.com/
Brian

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Wotcha
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 09:51 AM

Divorce Care Homepage

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 10:08 AM

Well RATS!!!!!! RAT BASTARDS!!! RAT BASTARD BITCHES!!!

Of all the nights for my server to take a dump!!!!! I really missed it and y'all were having sooo much fun.................nuts.........................

BTW, I do have it on good authority that flattop does have papers. They are still trying to get him to use them and he's doing pretty good, just the occasional accident on the carpet.

Spaw

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Katcina
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 10:25 AM

I wondered what happened to you sweetie.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From:
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 12:50 PM

I hope you guys are right. mg

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: SINSULL
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 01:12 PM

Spaw - we missed you. Wondered where you were off to. you missed the naughty catfish thread. too late. It's been done to death.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: GUEST
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 03:47 PM

Hey Milly, Just let him catch you in bed with someone else....maybe a couple other someones. Then you won't have to worry about it.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: hesperis
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 07:35 PM

Yeah, that's also a way to be in deep, dangerous trouble if the guy's violent.

Sheesh!

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Naemanson
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 11:23 PM

The last, worst, way to break it off with someone is to leave him/her for another partner. A break up is already hard on the self esteem. Seeing yourself as being not as good as another man or woman is driving home the point with a sledge hammer.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: GUEST,Milly
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 05:33 AM

Sorry I have not been able to reply to your questions, I did not think it wise to access at home. I have two children 9 and 14. The others have left home. He is a very good dad, and his main problem is that he wants to be in control of all I do. He cannot understand why I go to festivals. Why I want to listen to folk music. He is not a "bad person" I think he would have liked to have kept me barefoot and pregnant. I have never changed - he knew what he was getting when we were married. I had no idea how possesive he was. Or perhaps I have changed - I can't put up with it anymore. Many thanks for your offers of support. I will see what the counselling does first. Please do not take my absense as anything other that it is - I do not have unlimited access to the internet and have to make the most of it when I can.
Mils

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 07:50 AM

Regardless of what you decide to do, here's hoping you play an instrument, or have some other activity in which to immerse yourself. You'll need it to counteract all the heavy vibes. If it weren't for the guitar during my divorce, I would probably be in jail, committed, or dead. People who have absolutely nothing or no one to fall back on during traumatic times have a much harder time. Best of luck.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Naemanson
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 08:04 AM

I had my guitar and my cat. The guitar helped me cry and the cat made me laugh.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 08:42 AM

Milly, Why do you keep changing your name?

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 08:59 AM

Good question and "I have two children" followed by the "others" left home? "He's not a bad person" but would like to have kept you "barefoot and pregnant?!" That's a little over the top there, Mil, filled up your wellies and then some, imo. Clever explanation as to why we may never see more bait from you, tho...he's in control, no access, etc...

well, like Sorcha said, we've made lemonade from a lemon and there is good info here for people who are real and may need it.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: GUEST,milly
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 09:26 AM

I am called milly, but my friends call me mils - sorry. I have 6 children, the eldest 4 are no longer at home 3 at university and one in permanent work. 6 children over 16 years - you spend alot of at time pregnant. Kat - I don't know what you mean by "Mil, filled up your wellies and then some, imo" Infact I find what you have said very hurtful. I am a real person - what do you want me to do - leave my name address and phone number then you can ring my husband and find out for yourself what his social skills are! I still protest that he is not a bad person - if his six children love him that says something. Milly - OK!

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 09:43 AM

Then go get some professional help. I believe you are having an ugly laugh at the expense of some very good, decent, caring people.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: GUEST,Milly
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 09:54 AM

I don't understand what there is to laugh at? What do you mean. I am in a rough spot just now, and I turned to those people that I have seen help so many in the past. I am trully upset that you think this about me. I honestly have very little access to the internet at weekends. I wouy not dream of using this forum for anything other than honest inquiry.
I have made an appointment to see a counsellor, unfortunately there is a waiting list of about three months. I will be fine, I have mananged for long enough. I thank those who have offered me support. I am a bit soft and get upset easily, so I can only think that thoose of you who have thought bad things about me will know in their hearts that they are wrong.
love mils xx>BR> PS I will try to let you know what happens in three months time.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 10:18 AM

Please do Milly

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: flattop
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 10:29 AM

Just because Milly's writing is the shambles doesn't mean I'm not bald?

How about we pretend that Milly is real and treat her problem as if it was real?

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: GUEST,Milly
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 10:38 AM

Sorry about my bad typing. I have found some good womans forums in my local town. If they are working for me I will no longer ask here, althuogh I must again thank you all.
Milly

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 11:23 AM

Geez there are some cynical people here- you surprise me! There is so much in what Milly has said that has parrallels with my situation, and it takes a great deal of courage to share personal details as she has. Spaw chooses to make a joke of it and you jump on the bandwagon?

Just glad I didn't go undercover as a guest to ask for help when I was in that vulnerable position...

Milly/ Mils, send me a PM (you may need to become a member first) if you want to talk.

Noreen

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Naemanson
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 12:25 PM

Milly, I for one am willing to "pretend" you are a real person with a real problem. Everything I said above stands. This is a difficult decision.

I see your insistance that he is a good person as being a self deception. Sure the kids may love him but that does not validate your belief that he is a good person. Consider that your sons are learning how to treat women from him and you have not (apparently) disagreed with that training. (i.e., you've been kept barefoot and pregnant for the last 16 years. Well, pregnant at least.) If you don't take a stand you will be able to watch your sons make the same mistakes he has made. And there is the possibility that your daughters, learning from their mother, will subconsciously look for a man who will treat them as your husband has treated you.

I know I have extrapolated a great deal from the little information provided but I can guarantee that kids learn behavior patterns from their parents. I have seen it over and over in other families and to some extent I see it in my own. Fortunately the kids' peers will have some impact on their development. And you can talk to them to make sure they understand why you were unhappy in your marriage.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 01:03 PM

I pretended in the beginning...hope it helped. I agree with Sinsull..I think we've been wound up.

Noreen, the point is different, as I see it..you never felt the need to be undercover because you know us and have a certain level of trust in us, as we do you. Either M is new, a drop-in, or an old saw having a go..hard to tell when someone doesn't identify themselves as a Mudcatter. I went undercover as a GUEST a couple of months ago but made sure people knew I was a member.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 01:49 PM

I'd rather give her the benefit of the doubt.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: mousethief
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 02:53 PM

You guys must think you're a bunch of farking mind-readers. Why not give someone the benefit of the doubt? Even if the person starting a particular thread is a phoney, the question is a good one, and maybe others will benefit from honest discussion of such a difficult issue.

For myself I am unable to determine who is phoney and who is real, so I assume somebody is very real until they tip their hand so completely that I can't continue the assumption. I don't see that Milly has done that.

Alex

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Naemanson
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 04:36 PM

I made up everything but the facts...

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: SINSULL
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 04:49 PM

Brett,
I respect your honesty and admire the strength of character it took for you, Kendall, Steve, et al to speak so openly and frankly about what had to have been a traumatic, painful experience. At the risk of being trite: Thank you for being who you are. That includes you too flattop. Though I need an explanation about flattop being a bibilical name.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: flattop
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 05:20 PM

Looks like I'll have to crack open my concordance and make something up.

Subject: RE: How do I tell My SO I want a divorce?
From: Matt_R
Date: 26 Feb 01 - 05:30 PM

Wasn't flattop like Baal's other name?