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CATSPAW, we beseech thee
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: alison Date: 28 Jun 01 - 09:47 PM great to have you back 'Spaw...... kisses and big hugs from down under....
love alison |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:02 PM oh yeah......right al.........NOW I get hugs from"down under" and I'm a bit sore there since they hook the heart/lung machine into the aorta just above the femoral brachia (for those of you less skilled in anatomy, that'd be just above my balls). Joe Smackers is very displeased over this BTW. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Jande Date: 28 Jun 01 - 11:17 PM Hey, Spaw! So GLAD your back and well on your way to being fitter than a fiddle. Bless you , and bless that gol-durned newfangled machine, too! {{{{{{hugs}}}}}} ~ Jande |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Helen Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:21 AM Pseudolus/Frank - ROFLMAO! 'Spaw, I knew you'd be back sooner rather than later. Biggest air-kisses (to save you from the bear-hugs) from over here, i.e. from afar, i.e. you can't get much more "afar" than over here & downunder - so once again the Aussies have scooped the pool on the perfect place to be. Just have to worry about global winds, that's all. And doesn't the ceremony consist of 'Spaw filling up innumerable hot-air balloons to release into the atmosphere, to sell as religious relics, to send to cult-followers around the world (for a price), and to use as whoopee cushions with a special extra benefit: the genuine smell to match the noise?? Helen |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:33 AM Well Helen, I thought of that but the damn things keep exploding and all so, uh............. If you didn't know, you can hear the valve outside, but luckily due to some strange manner of acoustics, I CAN'T !!! Now Karen and Connie say it's music to their ears, but I think I may have a future as the Crocodile in Peter Pan. But I gotta' tell ya'........I'm getting real fearful of the idea of showing up at the airport metal detectors. See, the staples from the bypass mean that I set the damn things off and although I tell them what the problem is, I still have to open my shirt and let them wave the wand gizmo over my chest. NOW>>>>........I can just see it........I open my shirt and the guy HEARS this ticking...... HE'S A CRAZED TERRORIST!!!! HE SWALLOWED A BOMB!!!! .........weapons are drawn and the bomb squad shows up and stuff me in one of those containers causing me to fart which then explodes and blows my ass to Kingdom Come....................just not a pretty picture is it? Graphic though............... Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: CarolC Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:36 AM Welcome back, Spaw. Glad to hear things went so well for you. Carol |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Escamillo Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:11 AM These are the best news I received in a long time, Spaw. Not only recovering, but five times better ! Then that couple of beers will be ten, Spaw. Be prepared. Un gran abrazo - Andrés |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Liz the Squeak Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:48 AM If you really want to gross out the metal detectors and security at airports, get yourself a few piercings!! A friend of mine travels a lot, and has multiple piercings including a 'Prince Albert'..... they get very worried when he has to put THAT on the tray....... His wife is ..... similarly pierced. She just gets waved through when he explains..... you don't want to mess with a guy who voluntarily had THAT done to his ooHOOhoo.. LTS |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:54 AM I'm not real choked up over meeting up with the guy who DID that to this dude's "ooHOOhoo" either now that you mention it................ Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Ebbie Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:55 AM Like everyone else, I'm just SO pleased that you're already feeling better than you did pre-op. I can just imagine the color of health on your face- it's a remarkable change, isn't it! Welcome back- we've missed you. Ebbie |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Mudlark Date: 29 Jun 01 - 02:27 AM Spaw speaks!!!! Now that's more like it.... Welcome back! nancy |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Chip2447 Date: 29 Jun 01 - 02:36 AM Welcome back and good health to ya Spaw... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 29 Jun 01 - 03:11 AM Welcome back Spaw, take it easy and all the best Ella |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Stewie Date: 29 Jun 01 - 03:24 AM Welcome back, Spaw. All good things. --Stewie. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Llanfair Date: 29 Jun 01 - 03:34 AM It's good to read your posts again, 'Spaw, welcome home!! Bron. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Liz the Squeak Date: 29 Jun 01 - 08:49 AM What's the matter Spaw? - I thought you like having holes made in you!! Take it easy mate, and what ever you do, don't sneeze! LTS |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Big Mick Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:05 AM Huh..........Spaw's out of the joint and back............just a minute.........sound of screen door opening..........AWWWWRRIIIGGGGGGHHHHTTTTTEEEEEEEE THEN...........ALL YOU LITTLE BEGGARS CAN EXTINGUISH THE BIC'S, DIG A HOLE AND THROW THE USED ONES IN AND BURY THEM........YOU, .....YEAH YOU, THE CLETIS LOOK ALIKE....SEE IF YOU CAN GET THE GROCERY STORE TO TAKE BACK THE REST OF THE CASE OF BIC'S..........HUH?........geeziz, keep your voice down,.........of course you will all be paid for the time spent keeping that bic lit, just like we promised............... yeah, yeah, just send us a bill..........where?.........Just send it to Patterson, Fielding, Swan and Lane, layabouts at large and for hire...............Oh yeah, kid, the check will be in the mail.....don't sweat it.........OK..........ALL YOU LITTLE RUGRATS,.........THE TOAST AND VEGEMITE ARE ON US..........ONLY ONE RULE..........YOU ALL MUST STAY DOWNWIND........... Welcome back, buddy. Mick |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bert Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:22 AM Wotcha Mush! 'owyergettinonorrite? Oh and be careful of that "Gran Abrazo" that Andrés is sending you, don't let it escape now it might eat that big floopy dog of yours. I'll just send yer a hug instead. Luvyaguy. Bert. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bert Date: 29 Jun 01 - 10:25 AM Actually floopy was a typo for floppy, but I let it stand because it seems to more adequately describe a Weimaraner. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: wysiwyg Date: 29 Jun 01 - 11:20 AM Floopy. Good word. Here's a big sloopy snoog from your Pennsyltucky Prayer Patootie. ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: KathWestra Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:25 PM Pat, Tears in my eyes and a heart full of gratitude for YOUR newly fortified heart -- and for all those who helped see you through this enormous and life-changing time. Thanks be for surgeons, friends, family, lifesaving new technology, and for your own spirit and determination that this was going to work. Enjoy your life, my friend, every minute of it! Love, Kathy |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 29 Jun 01 - 12:49 PM Great to see you back. Thanks to St. Jude for favours received. I'm sure that, with all the preying that went on, he was there in the OR personally. Wouldn't leave someone as important as you to just a guardian angel. You should talk to him about the hospital food, though. Pureed pork chops.... eeeewwwww ! |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,little john cameron Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:15 PM Welcome back auld yin.Whit's the story oan the aortic aneurysm noo?Are ye able tae go for a hurl oan the bike?Ah wis jist lookin at a 1973 Bonnie,$3000 bit unfortunately ah cannae wangle the money.The wife wants tae squander the money oan groceries an' ither useless items.Ah weel ah can aye dream.Did ye lose oney weight?Ye could dae wi' losin a few pounds could ye no'?Ye did great.Ah wis in the ICU for twa monthe an then anither month oan the ward.Complications ye know.Great tae be health again for anither while. ljc |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:25 PM Damn! I HATE me-too postings. But me too! Welcome back. It's been awfully tame without you! Dave Oesterreich |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Big Mick Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:42 PM AWRIGHT, Little John, you skirt wearin' gobshite!!!! What the hell is this aboot bein' in the feckin' Hospital and not telling anyfeckinbody?? Sweet Jazus, man, do ya not know that you have friends here?????????? I love you friggin Scots, even have some in my background..........but you are a thickheaded lot..........LOL. OH.....yeah......and I am very happy that you are OK, as well. All the best, Mick |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: RichM Date: 29 Jun 01 - 01:59 PM Welcome back, Catspaw. By the way, did they do anything about the flatulence? What would be the opposite of flatulence-- sharpulence?? :) Rich McCarthy |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: McGrath of Harlow Date: 29 Jun 01 - 02:02 PM "Already my energy level is easily 5 times greater"
Good Grief... |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: SDShad Date: 29 Jun 01 - 02:45 PM Damn, Pat. Just this--"I can breathe better than I have done in years"--is the best news this heah place has had in a month o' Sundays. 'Cause there are a lot of folks here that want you to keep doin' just that--breathin'--for a long time to come. Even if'n we can't breathe around you after you've had Vegemite.... Chris |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: wysiwyg Date: 29 Jun 01 - 04:58 PM RichM, that would make them accidentals. Don't cut him that much slack; when he cuts something there is neither slack nor anything accidental about it, either. *G* ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Lin in Kansas Date: 29 Jun 01 - 06:53 PM Yeeeeeee-hawwwwwwwww! Good to "see" you, Pat, and wecome home!!! Lin and John |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 29 Jun 01 - 07:57 PM Thanks so much to all of you.........Still one helluva' place ain't it? But Now.............. I just went down and picked up the mail from the Post Office that they were holding and I ran across this strange letter on a vaguely familiar letterhead and, uh.................... DEAR MICK BRO.......WE NEED TO TALK!!!!!!! So what's going on anyway. Evidently some of my partners in the firm of Patterson, Fielding, Swan, and Lane were expecting some different result here as I found this letter with a return addy of "Fielding, Swan, and Lane, Lay-Abouts At Large and For Hire"........I couldn't help but notice that "Patterson" was missing. So I open the envelope and read the letter on the matching letterhead I might add. Obviously you've been using the services of some typist at that phoney-baloney union you work for and she's obviously not the sharpest knife in the drawer because I don't think I was supposed to get a copy of this particlar missive. The text reads: ************************************************** Hey There Fellow Layabouts! First, let me ask you.....Ain't this new stationary cool looking? Spaw never wanted to change from that shite color brown and now we can do it! Nice and professional looking huh? The printer ran me some for approval so I thought I'd use it here. Well El Swanno, I think that based on your medical expertise and Brother Fielding, your read of Pat's general mood, we can start to make some changes around here. Dave, I do want to make sure that your medical terms mean what I think they do. You state that Spaw's condition is "MUH/PBS" which I take to mean, "Messed Up Heart/Pretty Bad Shape" and the possible outcomes for the operation are a stroke resulting in C-CFCCP, meaning "Coo-Coo For CoCoa Puffs" but since he is PCL (pre-code looking?) we can figure the actual probability to be CTD/ART which I assume is "Circling The Drain/Assuming Room Temperature." If I'm right here, then we can mark him off the books soon as NLPR (No Longer Playing Records). So then Brothers......How do we divide the loot? None of us are well off and neither was he (see how easy we can move to past tense?....or should that be "passed" tense....LOL) but there are the guitars and mandos and dulcimers and such....PLUS, we can't let his copy of the Secret Ritual Code Book get into the wrong hands. God knows that feckin' gob-shite had the thing down to an art, but we can't allow anyone else to know that his, and our, lovability is a complete sham! How that guy could shite all over people and still be loved! Like I say, an art form, but our lovability quotients at Mudcat are threatened until we get that damn book back! Think on it and hope for the best! Are either of you free for the funeral? Let me know and I'll try to make it too. Might be an opp for getting back the book, not to mention selling those 'Catters on our honor, sensitivity and all that shite. I know I'd prefer to be fishing, but what are you gonna' do? Best Wishes....LOL, Big Mick *************************************************** Now lookit here Mick......I admire your greed and that Michigan Wolverine "going for the jugular" thing, but wait until I belly up man!!! Come to think of it though, maybe we need to add a chapter on this kind of thing in the Ritual Manual..................Anyway, cancel the order at the printers unless you want to pay for the stuff yourself. Have Nice Evening.
Brother Spaw
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:00 AM Just remembered this one..........Gnu my man, you may have a point when you said, Thanks to St. Jude for favours received. I'm sure that, with all the praying that went on, he was there in the OR personally. Wouldn't leave someone as important as you to just a guardian angel. The artificial valve they put in which is ticking away so happily is a very tried and true piece called a "St. Jude's Valve," named for it's place of invention at St. Jude's Hospital and Research Center. Don't try to read too much into it my friend, let's just go have a Turkey Turd Beer together! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Bugsy Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:36 AM Welcome back mate. Cheers
Bugsy |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: roopoo Date: 30 Jun 01 - 03:17 AM And as we all know, Jude is the patron saint of hopeless cases! (D'ya think that he could work on the flatulence too, or would that be expecting too much of him?) Welcome back Spaw. Hope the soreness eases soon. If you don't overdo things it will probably get better a lot faster. Let's face it, your innards have taken a severe battering. Love Andrea |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: gnu Date: 30 Jun 01 - 06:01 AM "St. Jude's Valve" ? So, all those Novenas were a waste of time, given the fact that he would have been there anyway, collecting royalties. mouldy... hopeless cases... LOL |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 30 Jun 01 - 12:28 PM Well, there are some hpoeless cases gnu, and Mouldy is right......flatulence in my case is one. Water gives me gas fer crissakes! Interesting though that St.Jude CAUSED another hopeless situation which I may as well own up to here and now............ As you know, the robot only required two pencil sized holes to enter my chest and those are on the right side, opposite the heart. When they decided the valve could not be repaired and selected the St.Jude, they put a two inch incision below my right breast and between the ribs to sort of "hand it to the robot" now inside. The little hands and arms moved it across and did all the cutting and suturing to install it in the heart. All well and good so far huh? Okay, so let's remember that these guys are cardio surgeons and cosmetics aren't high on their list of priorities. When it came to closing the "window" they simply pulled some skin down and tied it up with some steri-strips. This results in a "push-up" style look to my right tit, BUT ALSO meant that the nipple, instead of pointing forward, now points down!! funniest looking damn thing you ever saw!!!! The sites have almost healed already and in another 6 weeks when I am allowed, I can't wait to go swimming somewhere and wait for the stares and comments! I need some good "story" though like male breast reduction gone bad or something..............I just ran into a friend and showed him and he couldn't believe the robot story or based on how good I looked that I'd just had heart surgery so I figure a well crafted lie will be more easily believed than the amazing truth. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Rich(bodhránai gan ciall) Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:38 PM Spaw, great to see you back. It's just not been right at all here while you were away! Glad everything went alright. Rich PS: How is hospital Vegemite? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: katlaughing Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:49 PM I guess this means we can't change Rick's auction item to the MEMORIAL pressing of etc.?!LOL Nice to see you back in fine form, funny-pointing nipple and all. luvyakat |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST Date: 30 Jun 01 - 01:51 PM The flatulant one has returned, Time to give a loud HUZZAH indeed. Sledge |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: roopoo Date: 01 Jul 01 - 03:20 AM Should we now be offering suggestions for Spaw's cover story on the nipple that's heading south? - New style organic fully portable compass? Well his head's north, his descended nipple is south, the other could perhaps be east (pointing horizontally one presumes, but not having actually met the guy...), and of course the protrusion on the rear could indicate west, being from where round here the prevailing wind comes! Daft, I know, but it just suddenly came to mind. Andrea |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Ferrara Date: 01 Jul 01 - 09:38 AM Oh, God, let me tell you, never read a thread about Catspaw and try to take a drink of water at the same time. I started laughing (again) towards the middle of the thread and nearly choked on my water. Spaw, you have some really weird and warped friends, in addition to your many other excellent qualities. Just can't tell you what a joy it is, that you have come through this so well. Hope you're over most of the discomfort really soon. BTW you're right about the lack of aesthetic sensibility on the part of cardiac surgeons! Mine just pulled the skin together and stapled, any which way, and I had a three or four inch stripe of very tender puffy scarring, about a quarter inch across, where they caught too much skin in the staples. (The whole scar is about 6 or 7 inches long, but they didn't botch all of it.) It looked like a mole had tunneled under the skin, and hurt like the devil. It's still a lump, but at least it eventually stopped hurting. Takes time, though. Even the safest, most non-invasive heart surgery is going to guarantee you a few "interesting" experiences! You said all along that you felt pretty optimistic about this. Looks like you were right. This is one time we're all glad to hear someone say, "I told you so...." All the best, Rita |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: GUEST,little john cameron Date: 01 Jul 01 - 06:50 PM Rita,glad you are ok, but 6inches |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Jul 01 - 08:16 PM Thanks everyone and to you Rita for realizing that I have some incredibly warped friends around here, especially since I count Bill as one of them.....and very high up the list at that!! My back surgery had a fantastically beautiful result; the quad by-pass was pretty good, just a "hair" off; the belly cut for the bowel resection was really pretty bad; this one for the valve looks AWFUL!!!............I'm really going downhill here so I need to cancel any more surgeries.............oh, please......let's not do anymore...........oy.............. Rita....One other thing, I DO think we need a short parody song on replacement parts and modern medicine for you, Barry, and myself to sing at the Getaway!! Spaw |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: mooman Date: 02 Jul 01 - 09:54 AM Dear 'Spaw, Since you requested it personally, I am happy to start the ball rolling over here Best regards, mooman |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: LR Mole Date: 02 Jul 01 - 03:55 PM Welcome back, and enough of the clicky thing blues. |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 03 Jul 01 - 01:53 PM What's a Prince Albert? |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: MMario Date: 03 Jul 01 - 02:22 PM I was hoping no one would ask |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Kim C Date: 03 Jul 01 - 04:03 PM And y'all thought I was crazy for having tattoos. No offense to anyone who is pierced that way... but that's just plain weird. I don't think I'd want to hokey pokey with a ringy dingy... Back to our regular programme. (ps I don't believe the story about Prince Albert or the dressing ring. If anyone can produce actual documentation of such, I might consider changing my mind.) |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Liz the Squeak Date: 03 Jul 01 - 06:01 PM Can't produce documentation, but have it on museum authority that it is true... there is one of the chains in store (like THAT will ever see the light of day) in one of the palaces...... LTS |
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Subject: RE: CATSPAW, we beseech thee From: Banjer Date: 03 Jul 01 - 07:46 PM The most horrid thought just crossed the vast wasteland that for me passes as a mind!!! With his mechanical clicking heart valve does he now join the ranks of Steve Austin? You know the Bionic Man...? I can just hear his Doctors now... Hell, Larry, we can put him back together again... Ya really think so, Moe?... Well Soitenly.... Where's Dr Curley when you need him...? |
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