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BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update...
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Subject: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 10 - 07:44 PM Well, well, well... I forgot that I had owed everyone the final chapter of Jerry "The Gun Nut" Gray so here it is... Last I recall I had gone to court, which was a farce... The judge, who just happens to sing in the Community Choir with the P-Vine, is a nice enough guy but not the brightest bulb in the shop... So we went to trial and it ended up a bigass mess with me all but gettin' arrested for contempt for yellin' at the judge "If you dismiss this then Jerry is gonna turn my farm into his private war zone!" at the top of my lungs... So the judge continued the case for 6months to see if me and Jerry could work things out... Yeah right??? Work things out, my butt!!! So that was the trial and then a week or so later I sees a van out in front of Jerry's shack and they are laoding stuff up so I run into Ron Wilson who has the farm next to me and is the Clark of the Court and also seems to know everything that is happening... So I tell Ron about the trial which he says he had allready heard about.... I must have left an impression with alot of folks in that court room... So Ron says that Jerry moved out!!! Hooray!!! Seems that Jerry was livin' in his wife's mama's house and his wife also had had enough of the gun-stuff and she had moved out and then mama stepped in and threw Jerry out as well... So there, ya'll... Bobert's gun-nut is now someone elses gun-nut... Yo, Jer... Don't let the door hit yer gun-nut self on the way out!!! Bye-dee-bye... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bill D Date: 05 Feb 10 - 07:47 PM Maybe Jerry moved to Detroit....he'll never be noticed there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: artbrooks Date: 05 Feb 10 - 07:55 PM Congrats, Bobert |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: olddude Date: 05 Feb 10 - 07:58 PM Last I heard my buddie Spaw was gettin a new neighbor ... hmmmmmm |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Amos Date: 05 Feb 10 - 08:27 PM Well, I guess its just as wel you didn't hafta shoot it out with him, Bobez. You'd a lost a lot of sleep if you'd shot him up... A |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 10 - 08:27 PM Spaw could get the Reg Boys after Jerry an' in Ohio no one would care if Jerry just disappeared... Like no one!!! Hey, it's Ohio... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 10 - 08:30 PM The only sleep I woulda lost, Amos ol' bud, is from that hard matress in the county jail... Not shootin' Jerry up... Rememebr, I wanted to shoot him up but ya'll talked me outta it... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Donuel Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:05 PM I might know this Gunnute. Lt. Major Gunnute is a highly respected officer in the Marine Corps. He believes that war games are essential for training and the defense of our nation. He also believes that war games should be held on military reserves and not on residential land except in a time of war. A high school teacher in Vestal NY would bring his rifle into class and teach 7th graders that what he held in his hands in front of the class was not a GUN! It was a weapon. I told him he was holding a gun. He got pissed. Later he told me that he would write damaging information into my permanent record if I disrespected his weapon again. I told him that I still thought his rifle was a gun. His radical remarks regarding a certain traitorous attitude is in fact still there to this day. Gun nuts like to pull triggers even if they aren't attached to a gun. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Don Firth Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:17 PM Excellent, Bobert! Then there's the old military chant: This is my rifle And this is my gun. This is for shooting, And this is for fun! So mature (the military will make a man out of you, they keep saying.). Don Firth |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: wysiwyg Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:19 PM Iz he smart enuf to Google hissef into yore thrayud, Boberdz? ~SA~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Donuel Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:21 PM knock knock whos there? Bang Its Gun nut. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:21 PM Been there, Don... Massanutten Military Academy- Class of '65... Man, them drill sargeants were the real deal... Very messed up people, I might add... b~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Amos Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:29 PM Well, it messes folks up to be in an acute fight or die survival problem place, ya know? THose who dedicate their lives to being in one permanently end up kinda permanently messed up at some level unless they are very very smart indeed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:37 PM Well, yeah, Amos... I reckon you could say that... Maybe you didn't know Sgt. Haney... He was the mentalist of the mental cases I have met in my life and ya' gotta remember that I spent 15 years in social work working mostly with mental health clients... Sgt. Haney was severely messed up individual... Severely... He told us once that if he was ordered to shoot his mother, his sisters and father he would do it without hesitation and never look back... I mean, back then militray schools were filled with psychopaths... I swear it... No wonder that so many of my classmaters couldn't wait to go to Nam... Sgt Haney had brainwashed them... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Ebbie Date: 05 Feb 10 - 09:56 PM Excellent outcome, Bobert! But woe to his new neighbors wherever he lands... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Rapparee Date: 05 Feb 10 - 10:36 PM With luck he'll land next door to a cop. God alone can help him if he moves out here; folks out here take guns seriously and don't put with the same crap folks back East do. The neighbors would have a little talk with him, then the cops would, and then the neighbors would shoot back -- and folks out here can shoot straight. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: SINSULL Date: 05 Feb 10 - 10:41 PM Bad news, Mr. Bobbie. The Gun Nut has moved out but the Mudcat Womenz has moved in. And we has a cuppple of fewds to settul with yew... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: wysiwyg Date: 05 Feb 10 - 11:09 PM Belay that. No one speaks for the MudWomenz. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 05 Feb 10 - 11:57 PM I'm happy to hear the news, Bobert. And who knows? Maybe right now your former neighbor is saying to himself, "I've lost my wife and my home. Maybe I shouldn't have listened to all the guys at the bar who told me that a real man does whatever he wants" Could happen... How's the hotel coming along? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: gnu Date: 06 Feb 10 - 08:54 AM Stroke of luck... besides the fact that you did the right thing the right way... good on ya! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 06 Feb 10 - 09:17 AM The hotel is a sore subject right now... Seems that the bank that said it would be with us for the entire project has changed it's mind and so I've just had to shut the project down for now... Makes me wanta turn into a gun nut!!! B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: jacqui.c Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:32 AM SINSULL - get that right - it's the EVIL SISTERHOOD that are moving in - the fact that they are all MudWomenz is beside the point. Bobert - be afraid............. Sorry to hear about the hotel though, we were also looking forward to moving in there. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,Kendall Date: 06 Feb 10 - 12:40 PM There are differences in nomenclature regarding firearms. A cannon is a large bore piece in a shore battery. That same piece aboard a ship is a Gun. A hand held piece is a Pistol. (From the Italian meaning pipe) A smooth bore long piece is either a fowling piece, (For shooting birds) or a musket for shooting other people. A rifle is a long piece with rifling in the bore to make the bullet spin. These are much more accurate than a musket. During the revolution the British soldiers carried muskets which were good for about 50 yards. The colonists had Kentucky rifles, (actually made in Pennsylvania) which were accurate to two hundred yards or more. We all know who won that difference of opinion. Anyway, I digress, that teacher was not dead right, what he had was a rifle. It is only a weapon if he shoots someone, or means to. Rant over. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: SINSULL Date: 06 Feb 10 - 01:15 PM Given that P-Vine is a charter member of the Evil Sisterhood and Bobert's post to Miss Lily was so beautiful, and we want to eventually set up the House Of The Setting Sun in his hotel, I guess ole Bo is safe. Can't you just see him railing away at that judge? I would have loved to have been a fly on the wall. Glad you're rid of the pest, bobert. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Amergin Date: 06 Feb 10 - 01:16 PM Back home people would have been shooting back.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,crazy little woman Date: 06 Feb 10 - 06:07 PM Where I'm from, Dad would have hooked the tractor to all the derelict cars and trucks and lined em up along the property line as a backstop. Used mattresses can provide tasteful reinforcement. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: olddude Date: 06 Feb 10 - 08:27 PM bobster a gun nut well let me know what ya need i will make ya a 50 cal sniper rifle |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: ClaireBear Date: 06 Feb 10 - 08:40 PM Closure is a beautiful thing. Thank you, Bobert. And good riddance to bad rubbish. So, the P-Vine is in the sisterhood? Now I'm curious: Just how many sisters have I got that I haven't met? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Rapparee Date: 06 Feb 10 - 08:58 PM The P-Vine should be in the sisterhood, and have the Medal of Honor, and probably Sainthood, considering. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Amergin Date: 06 Feb 10 - 09:31 PM She should have that just for being in the same room as bobert.... ;) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: jacqui.c Date: 07 Feb 10 - 09:28 AM Claire - the sisterhood just seems to have grown, from Kendall calling Mary and me the 'Evil Twins' to finding out how many likeminded ladies we had come to know, on line, as well as in the real world. Just look for the ones with a really wicked (sick) sense of humour and you'll probably be right in thinking that they belong. Mostly they also have shawls......... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 07 Feb 10 - 10:47 AM HEY! What the flip? Some flippin' moron has moved into the house acrost from me and Don's place and the guy is, like, a total idiot, eh? Cos of he has all these flippin' guns and shit like that, eh? Last night he was blastin' off rounds at somethin' in the backyard. Some kinda targets or somethin', and then he starts shootin' in the general direchshun of all the barking dogs in town. Don finally yells, "SHUT THE FLIP UP OVER THERE!!!" and what does the idiot do? He puts a flippin' round right through the little porch window that is over our front door. Jeezuz FLIP! I don't flippin' beleeve this crap. We ain't never had no insane looser like this fliphead in Blind River before, eh? He CANNOT be Canadian! Don says he is a flippin' Yank from down South somewhere's, like maybe Floribama. You can tell by the flippin' accent, eh? I say we should call the cops and have this flipper arrested. I would not mormally do that...but this is a flippin' extreme case of public dnager, eh? Don says it ain't necessary to do that becoz he is goin' to sneak up on the prick when he ain't lookin' and rap a tire iron around his head, then take all his flippin' guns and dump 'em in the river, and then dump the fliphead in after 'em. - Shane |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Lizzie Cornish 1 Date: 07 Feb 10 - 10:56 AM :0) Wonderful thread! :0) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Rapparee Date: 07 Feb 10 - 11:00 AM Hey, Shame...he gives you a case of beer for each bullet hole. If he puts it in YOU, well, it'll either let all you hot air out or bounce off your head, assuming in both cases that it can penetrate all the dirt. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: VirginiaTam Date: 07 Feb 10 - 11:43 AM to bad you didn't have one of these in your back yard Bobert BBQ six shooter |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: olddude Date: 07 Feb 10 - 12:16 PM VTam I remember when Spaw built that for Bobster, dang mail system, see it ended up across the pond |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 07 Feb 10 - 12:55 PM Yeah, Tam... I was ready to fire that bad boy up but then folks here said that if I did I was gonna go to jail... So I left it in the garage... Maybe the next gun-nut... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Rapparee Date: 07 Feb 10 - 03:22 PM Well, Bobert, given where you live you'll have another chance. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 07 Feb 10 - 08:40 PM I see that Blind River has so many bears it has to have a "Bear Wise" page on its website. Here's what you do. Buy a few bottles of the cheapest jam there is. When your neighbor is out (or passed out), make a trail of jelly leading from the woods into the kitchen. Then go home and wait. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Donuel Date: 07 Feb 10 - 08:46 PM Bobert I am surprised that you could decipher that post I wrote without rewritting to correct for dyslexic tendancies. I'm gonna find and post a picture I made titled Smoking Gun. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 08 Feb 10 - 08:03 AM Lexdexia is one thing I do underastand, Donuel... Might of fact, if I could write I would "write the book" on it... But nevermind twisted thinkin' an' all that... Jus' glad to have the nut gone... Now if I could get rid of this friggin' snow all would be at peace... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Rapparee Date: 08 Feb 10 - 08:50 AM Bobert, next comes the flooding. You know that. Keep your powder dry. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 08 Feb 10 - 10:01 PM Leenia! That is a flippin' GREAT idea! They got lotsa real cheap jam at the corner store. We will do it! This is gonna be great! - Shane |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 10 - 08:36 AM We live at 1700 ft. above sea level, Rap, so I ain't all that concerned about keepin' my powder dry... Might of fact, if my powder gets wet from floodin', I really don't think I'll be needin' it anyway... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Charmion Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:14 AM And after the flood comes freeze-up, and you can enjoy the feeling only loss of friction can give. Or perhaps you're in Egyptian-type plague country, and you should be looking out for swarms of locusts or frogs falling from the sky. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:23 AM It turns out all the flippin' bears are hiburnatin' right now! I had fergot about that. Too flippin' bad, eh? Well, we are gonna try the jam trick anyways and see what happens. If it don't work, we will go back to Plan 1: Don clobbers the fliphead when he ain't lookin' and throws the flippin' arsinal in the river. It may not be easy, cos this flipper is paranoid as hell. He probally thinks the hole rest of the world is as mentally flipped as he is! - Shane |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Rapparee Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:26 AM Just go pay him a nice neighborly visit, Shame...no, that probably won't work. He's probably got gas masks. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: 3refs Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:28 AM Now that I legally own 5, does that make me "A Gun Nut"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:31 AM I ain't worried about no flippin' bears... Bears is scareder than 'fraidy cats... An' there's a reason why the always walkin' toward the sun... They sacred of their own shadows... You don't need no dry powder fir them wusses... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Rapparee Date: 09 Feb 10 - 09:46 AM How about them wild pigs? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 10 - 10:11 AM Well, yeah, Rap... Yer right... Better find a good place for the powder... Nuthin' worse than gettin bit by a pig... Reminds me of goin' out to Mr. Athey's Hog Farm... Mr. Athey asked if I wanted to the "Big Boy" and I said "yeah"... So we walked out to hog field but before opening the gate Mr. Athey walked into his barn, strapped on a leather holster with a 9 mm in it and grabbed a 4 foot long 2X4 with a carved handle... Hmmmmmm??? "That be okay, Mr. Athey", I said, "I really don't need to see Big Boy all that bad..." B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Ron Davies Date: 09 Feb 10 - 10:26 AM Gun-nut's wife and her mother also probably didn't like Mr. Nut going to court--and making a laughingstock of the family. After all, what was his argument? Right to bear arms and shoot them off in any direction he chose? So it was a good idea to take him to court--especially since you (Bobert) did manage to avoid contempt of court. It does pay to do research and to arrange for your opposition to have the meltdown. Congratulations on his changing venues for his show. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Little Hawk Date: 09 Feb 10 - 12:22 PM Getting hit on by a pig can be quite disconcerting too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 09 Feb 10 - 01:43 PM Yeah, Ron... I'm not sure I woulda gotten away with my outragious behavior if my wife and the judge weren't in the same choir... The Commonwealth's Attorney was a joke... I kept tellin' him what to say and he was just brushin' me off... So someone had to stand up and tell it like it is... I'm really surprised I got away with it but one thing is for sure and that is the the judge knew that I was seriously pissed off at being shot at... I think the "If you dismiss this charge you're going to turn my farm into Jerry's one man war zone" was the kicker... Yo, LH... I don't go to places like that... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 10 Feb 10 - 10:46 AM Bobert, the bear discussion is for the people in Blind River, Canada. ======== Blind River, it is true that bears are hibernating at present, but the gun-nut is probably hibernating too. This gives you till spring to save up for the jam. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,heric Date: 10 Feb 10 - 12:11 PM Damned nice work to be proud of B. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 10 Feb 10 - 01:19 PM Well, yeah... Any time you don't get busted for contempt of court *and* get rid of a gun-nut is a good thing... Funny thing... Even though my wife is takin' a year off from the chior she was at some event where the judge was and he made a point of askin' her how things were goin' and she told him all about Jerry's wife movin' out an' his ma-in-law bookin' him outta the house and the judge seemed very pleased that things had turned out that way... He all but apologized to her fir not convictin' the sumabich... The court case is still continues until April 15th (Tax Day)... I don't have to go but I might go anyway just to see if there is anyway to keep the case continues incase Jerry and his wife get back together an' he's back in the house an' up to his ol' tricks... B~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,heric Date: 10 Feb 10 - 10:29 PM and even if you never get a judge's autograph saying "Bobert wins" nobody got hurt. A lot of people (most??) would have screwed that situation up fierce. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,leeneia Date: 11 Feb 10 - 01:31 PM Yes, Bobert, I believe you should go on April 15th to show that you are genuinely concerned. As you say, the guy could come back. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Feb 10 - 01:44 PM Not if Shane and Don find "the final solution"... ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,crazy little woman Date: 11 Feb 10 - 03:45 PM Listen, Shane. About that bear idea - it's brilliant except for one thing. What if there is some innocent bystander (dog, male prostitute) in the house and the bear goes for the wrong target? Somebody could get hurt and you'd get in trouble. Here's what you do. Get with the neighbors and arrange to play loud music that'll drive him out. (Play it when you're not home yourselves.) I've been thinking of good music for this. 1. the Carpenters - anything 2. John Denver's Greatest Hits (remember that album? Only one selection was actually a hit. The rest were 3-note message songs.) 3. early Barbra Streisand (before she got breath control) 4. Annette Funicello: Teenage Years 5. Paul Anka- anything 5. Melanie (I guess she didn't have a last name.) It might cost something to locate the recordings and get them in the right format, but you could probably get grant money for improving the neighborhood. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River Date: 11 Feb 10 - 06:55 PM That is not a bad flippin' idea, crazy little woman. Most of that music would flippin' drive away almost anyone, eh? But specially this flippin' idiot with all the guns! Don and me would hafta go somewheres else while the music is playin' cos it would drive us totally nuts! I gotta nuther idea too. What if we was to put on classical flippin' music, but REAL LOUD!!!!!!! Holy flip, would that ever be flippin' AWFUL! I bet not only the gun nut looser would leave, but so would everyone on the hole flippin' street. People around here HATE that classical crap...like Bait-Hoven, Moatsart, Shoe Bert, and all them other flipheads from back in, like, whenever it was...the 1500s? Whatever. I am gonna see if we can get some at the Liberry. - Shane p.s. Today the idiot was blastin' away at somethin' in his basement for hours. We could hear it plain as day. I think he is busy preparin' for World War 3 or somethin'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 11 Feb 10 - 07:32 PM Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey" is the one honey that bears hate... Turn it up real loud!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: frogprince Date: 11 Feb 10 - 08:24 PM Alternate "Honey" with "Teddy Bear" byt Red Sovine |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Bobert Date: 11 Feb 10 - 08:39 PM Yeah, f-prince... He won't be able to *bear* that combination... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: Little Hawk Date: 11 Feb 10 - 09:03 PM Those two songs would probably drive Shane to commit some violent act of property destruction...if not several such acts. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Bobert's Gun-nut: Major Update... From: GUEST,crazy little woman Date: 12 Feb 10 - 09:44 AM Please note that I specified that the music is to be blasted out when Shane and the neighbors are not home. Anyhow, I love the suggestions. That sappy song 'Honey' for example. How about 'Feelings, woh oh oh feelings.." Shane, I don't share your views about classical music, but if it works.... You could play the works of Arnold Schoenberg, but you might get PETA on your back for being cruel to the local wildlife. |
