Punch the Horse May Thread

Subject: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 11:39 AM

It is believed that Punch the Horse may thread, please be warned of this impending action. It could result in serious injury for those unwary enough to approach too closely. Treat this threading with extreme caution.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: MMario
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 11:40 AM

I know you are in an earlier time zone, but you're rushing it a bit, aren't you?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 11:53 AM

Damn you, Raggy, u beat me to it!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 Apr 03 - 07:11 PM

erm May what?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Apr 03 - 01:45 AM

Then, on the other hand, is there not the distinct possibility the Punch the Horse may NOT thread???? And what will be the fate of this thread if PTH decides not to thread????

Of course, you could just start another thread called "Refusal to Thread in The British Folk Movement".


Bruce (aka Smart-Assed Yank Bastard)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 30 Apr 03 - 07:34 PM

So where can we see and hear the Girl and Boys in May then?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 01 May 03 - 04:29 AM

Dunno Smallpiper. We appear to be undecided as to wether or not we are, in fact, going to thread.

I await further instruction.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 01 May 03 - 06:01 AM

I can tell you, however, that my session at the Sun Inn, Beverley, will be taking place from 2pm till 6pm this coming Sunday, 4th May.

Although numbers may be slightly down due to some people being in Whitby, that means the rest of us get a better go!! It does seem that quite a few of my regulars will still be in attendance, and a jolly afternoon is likely to be the order of the day. Even if the dastardly idea of sitting in a pub all afternoon does mean that I won't be able to go out on my shiny new Triumph motorcycle!

Pah!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 01 May 03 - 07:19 AM

May the forth be with you

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 02 May 03 - 04:42 AM

One will be celebrating one's birthday this evening in Butlers Beer Boutique (amongst other salubrious establishments) Please consider oneself invited for cocktails

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 05 May 03 - 04:42 AM

Thanks for the invite Raggy. Have just got back from the ow'ld sod.Not to late however for Oakleys/Deanys session at the sun in the bev bev.

Smallpliers, we are strutting our collective stuff at the " Durty Nellies" in Hull, Fridasy night,featuring the dashing Oaktree.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 05 May 03 - 07:24 AM

Not Fridasy night 'Oss, it is Saturdasy night. Get a grip of yourself, man.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 05 May 03 - 08:02 AM

hEloo, bank holiday me arse! its a big rip off! i just beeen to the the sandwidge ship on chants ave and it was shut, so i came home and eat beens on toste, and if any show off cleber basturd likes to complane about my spellin, then just rember that this is music site, not spelling site, and im in a bad mood anyway , because i was lucking forwards to buying a sandwidge, so just get lost.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Linda Kelly
Date: 05 May 03 - 04:07 PM

thankyou John -so how is your PMT?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 06 May 03 - 02:35 AM

Hellooooooooooooooooooo !! John.
I have told you a million times, get of that fence and say what you mean.Oh,and it is worth mentioning that Jacksons could have accomadated your hunger pangs,they seem to be open most of the time.Failing that you could have come to my hase and we could have amused ourselves for an hour or two with several bottles of rum - only I wasnt there.

Thanks for that Oakiepoos,of course you are right,again. Will you be there on Saturday?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 06 May 03 - 03:45 AM

John9, please post no further on other PTH threads. Am trying to keep it down to a single thread per month. And this is it!

Thanks to all attendees of the Sun Session on Sunday. It was a fairly quiet one due to several regular singists being away in Whitby (and the USA) but we had a luverly time nonetheless. I got quite tiddly, went home and promptly fell asleep, so I think it was a success!

Saturday 10th May, just to clear things up, PTH will be gracing the hallowed turf at Durty Nellies, with Brother Oakley in the driving seat. Hope to see the usual rabble there.

Cheers, Pete.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 May 03 - 07:23 PM

Sounds bloody marvelous to me. Pity that Hull is across the Atlantic Ocean or I'd be sure to be there with bells on.

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 07 May 03 - 02:16 AM

George, sorry for being a pedant but Hull is not across the Atlantic - it is across the Humber.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 07 May 03 - 04:39 AM

Just a little tiddly? I don't think that is quite the truth peter. You was pissed, admitt it!!!

sf x

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:23 AM

THIS INVOLVES ACTUALLY PUNCHING A HORSE.
For all you Britts who love animals (all Britts BE ADVISWED that the horse got the better end of this confrontation.

When I was 16 years old (1945), stood 5' 3" tall and weighed 106 lb (7 stone 7) I sometimes taught little rich kids to post to the trot at a stable run by a guy named Kennedy. I don't know his first name, except, "Mr."
He had a strikingly handsome Irish thorobred named, "Sligo". Sligo was a whole horse, (as opposed to a gelding) about 4 years old, and my choice of mount. I struck up, so I thought, a friendship involving mutual respect, and a lot of apples.
Sligo would whinny when I came into the barn, because he knew I had a couple of apples for him.
Kennedy had advised me, when I first began riding Sligo, to use a check rein as Sligo was very high spirited and somewhat rambunctious.
This was fine for about six months, until one day, (yes here it comes)I was sure that Sligo was my buddy and would not betray my confidence in his friendship. (Yup, slight mistake) So, I decided to take him out with a single straight bit.
This was, by the way, in Brooklyn New York, and the "taking out" involved a nice ride around the Prospect Park bridle path, including the half mile straightaway with a dead end known as the "Flatbush Avenue Extension" One usually let the horses go ful;l out along this straightaway, pulling the horse to a stop before one reached the iron picket fence, five and one half feet high, on the other side of which was the intersection of Flatush Avenue and Empire Boulevard.
I suppose that most of you who are familiar ewith thorobred horses and their reputation for "being trustworthy" are anticipating what transpired as I left the main bridal path, tickling Sligo's sides with my cavalry spurs to urge him into a full gallop. This part proceeded perfectly according to my plans. However, when we reached the point at which we started to slow our mounts into a canter and then stop., Sligo ignored my efforts, which became more and more frantic as we approached the end of the extension, with the bit firmly in his teeth, and hit the fence at a full gallop, thereby tumbling slightly up the hill ar one side and throwing me bodily out into the intersection of Flatbush avenue and Empire Boulevard, whilst at the samee time knocking himself silly when his head hit the fence or a tree or something. I'm not quite sure, nor does it matter.
Luckily for me, there was no traffic in the intersection at the time. Gasoline (petrol) was still rationed and there was seldom any motor traffic at all. This does not happen any more. I climbed back over the fence, and soothed poor Sligo's trembling. I got back on, and we walked and trotted back down the extension. At the point where the main bridle path and the extension intersect, there is a footpath which arches over the bridle path, made of brick and concrete. Wherepon, my trusty steed slammed his flank against one wall of the underpass,. cracking my ankle nd knocking my foot out of the right stirrup.
He then decided to chew on his bit some more, and once again took off at a dead gallup.
I hung on to the pommel of which there is very little on the Maclelland saddle (cavalry) with only one foot in a stirrup. he charged out and around the bridle path wuith people scattering before us as I screamed out a warning. then he left the bridle path and proceeded down Ocean Parkway which has a pilon type traffic light in the middle of each intersection along the way. My trusty pal slalomed down Ocean parkway, working himself into a lovely foamy lather. Around one on the right, and the next on the left, et. etc. etc. With me hanging on for dear life.   About three blcocks from the stable, he slowed to a walk and calmly walked past Mr. Kennedy, and into the barn.
"Did you take him into the lake, Joseph"? Inquired Kennedy.

No says I, he did everything else, but.

"Well said Kenned, you'd better walk him to cool him off before you put him away" Kennedy's remarks were in a fine "County Cork" accent, sort of like Barry Fitzgerals withou the smirk.

Now I must tell you that I was wearing a pair of cavalry boots that I had purchased with a month's pay, for the first time. I had the reins over my shoulder as I limped along with my cracked ankle. As I turned, for the last time, Sligo the treacherous bastard that he was, stepped on my foot, neatly slicing the toe of one boot, clean down to the sole, and missing my big toe by a scant millimeter.

AT THIS POINT i YANKED SLIGO'S HEAD DOWN TO MY LEVERL HAULED OFF AND PUNCHED HIM IN THE NOSE AS HARD AS i COULD. HE SAT DOWN AND Kennedy fired me.

I MUCH PREFER MULES TO HORSES (except for pure bred Arabians, which are trustworthy)


wherepon, my trusty steed

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 08 May 03 - 04:53 AM

Well. What can one say to that????

And Sweetfire, if you think I was drunk on Sunday, pray you never see me after Whisky. I lose the ability to string a sentence together. Johnny boy will testify to that, I have no doubt.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 08 May 03 - 06:37 AM

The man speaks the truth!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 May 03 - 08:15 AM

Cranky - this is why I feel justified in being the only girl in the school (and incidentaly, the only one whose background actually involved working horses) who hated the nasty things. I've never liked horses - I've met several thousand and only one of them I ever liked. He was a bloody big Shire called Prince who at one point was the biggest horse in the county and he lived at the bottom of my road. He was a working turned show horse, and no-one except his owner rode him.

How anything stuffed with hay can be so uncomfortable I shall never know.

LTS

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 08 May 03 - 09:01 AM

arabs.....trustworthy.....you obviously don't know my horse. who is an unpredictable bitch and hates juat about everyone! (except me of course)

i will take your word for it pete

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 08 May 03 - 09:21 AM

i love her

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: CRANKY YANKEE
Date: 08 May 03 - 09:44 AM

Ah, Sweetfire, old boy,(or girl, whatever the case may be) Pure bred Arabian horses form a solid bond with one or two people. They will actually fight for their "frined" and if the rider falls off, unlike every other breed, they will stand there and wait for the fallen rider to get back on.

You said, "unpredictable bitch and hates just about everyone(except me, of course)

Well, pal, the "except me" is what I'm talking about. And, they have to be 100% pure bred Arabs. O.K.?


I still, on occasion, ride horses,but, I don't completely trust them.

By the way, Mules are trustworthy and a hell of a lot more intelligent and resourceful than horses. They don't lie3. If they like you, they'll let you know right away and you can depend on their trustworthiness. If they don't like you, they will likewise let you know right aweay and then , forget about riding it.
Mules will not work to exhaustion, as horses will. When they get tired, no power on earth can get them to work any more until they are rested. A horse will work itself to death.

Contrary to the way stagecoaches are portrayed in the movies, they always used mules,
The type mule you get depends entirely on the breed of the mare that mothered it. A mule from a thorobred mare will perform like a thorobred, except, of course, for their truswtworthiness and superior intelligence.

SToo bad that they are true, sterile hybrids

Jody Gibson, (like a mule) cranky but trustworthy

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:02 AM

Ride bloody on!!!!!!! this thread is putting years on me.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:10 AM

tell me about it! Prefer the iron steed, myself!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:23 AM

Sod bloody Horses, lets have some of the usual nonsense about drinking and music, sorry Crazy Yankee but to coin an American phrase
BUTT OUT BUDDY

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:28 AM

You leave him alone, Raggytash you varmint. I really enjoyed it. This is a natural place for Cranky Yankee and he should be encouraged. So there9.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 08 May 03 - 11:37 AM

Heloo mick, jacksons are a big rip of and there sandwidges are crap, at the sandwidge ship near the bike ship, you can get stake sandwidges 9really nice!).john
ps i got some out of date walnut cakes from the little TEscos on Wiberlly road, they was only 10p each, i got 5, 3 of them went bad, so i was going to throw them at the birds, but i decide agains it, this is why=I did that before, i gave them some bread, and they shit allover my car, i was going to make a sign =PLEESE DO NOT SHIT ON MY CAR! , but i cant find my marker pen, so i just put the mouldy cakes in the bin., you can get some good barhains from that little tescos, i got some pure orange jooce as well for 10p.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:00 PM

John it's no good putting a sign on your car, the birds can't read Ull spelling!

LTS

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:34 PM

Sorry, Raggy, but I gots ta tell my mule story.

My friend Phil had several horses and one mule. The mule kept getting out of the fenced field, but none of the horses ever did. So, Phil got some taller fence posts and put another strand of barbed wire around the field. The mule still got out. So, Phil put a strand of electric fence wire around the field. The mule still got out. Finally, Phil gaught the mule in the act. The mule was getting down on all fours and crawling under the fence. A horse would never be smart enough to crawl under a fence unless someone taught him how to do it. A strand of barbed wire placed about six inches from the ground solved the problem.

Now, carry on with the usual Hullstuff.

Bruce

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 08 May 03 - 03:44 PM

Crazy Yankee, after reading John from Hull's contribution come back all is forgiven !!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 08 May 03 - 07:33 PM

C'mon Oakleaf you can top our American cousins tell 'em how you used to ride Friesians on Reads Island

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 08 May 03 - 08:22 PM

I think I should inform all of you that your presence is sorely missed on a thread which you would no doubt enjoy immensely: "The Mother of all BS Threads"

John from Hull would love it. So would ossonflags, the Deanmeister and Raggytash, I'm sure. I think Oakley could spare some time for it too...and his presence would give it some much-needed elan and style.

Don't let the Americans have it all to themselves, chaps! Log on and show them just how silly we British can be when we put our minds to it!

* PR

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 09 May 03 - 08:41 AM

actually my mare managed to get under an electric fence. the grass wasn't greener on the other side she just prefered to be with the geldings aka the big boys

yes CY i am a girl
no my horse is only part bred arab, the rest welsh

p.s sorry to everyone who is not horsey....i'll stop now

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 09 May 03 - 09:20 AM

Nothing against horsiness,............ tight jodpurs, contoured pink jacket, well turned fellocks on a filly, tightly gripping her riding crop ................

Gad ......... better go for a shower!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 09 May 03 - 09:47 AM

pink contoured jacket????
never worn one of those before!!!
and yes i think you better had!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 09 May 03 - 11:52 AM

Hello Ms Penelope Rutledge.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 10 May 03 - 07:53 AM

Tonight's fiddle noises at Durty Nelly's will be brought to you by Nik Nak, as me chalfonts are waxing and I need access to the hydraulic pillow and medicated wipes. Have a good 'un people, and don't let Ossonflags sing too much.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 10 May 03 - 01:48 PM

any body got a dictionary.....?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 10 May 03 - 07:28 PM

heLoo, i hust neen to seee them, it was really nice,nowe i am drinking sume vbottle of rum, so if any body livkes to moaninfg about my spelliing, then thet y can just get lost and kiss my fat arse.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 11 May 03 - 12:29 AM

Hello, Oakley! I trust you are enjoying the fine Spring weather as much as we are here in Twillingsgate? Various gossipping tongues have been trying to embarrass me (and you) lately by spreading fanciful stories, but I pay them little mind. Regardless of that, I hope to make another trip to Hull shortly and hear you play the fiddle again...always a real delight!

Winston has joined a shooting club and is attempting to pass himself off as a ruthless and dangerous man, making idle remarks about "potting wogs" and so on. He really is a dreadful braggart, but I've seen worse. It's a flaw among the overly rich and idle, I'm afraid.

The pervert "poet", Malcolm Buggeroll, still has half the women in this town swooning over his dreadful doggerel. I could fix his wicket permanently by letting slip certain revelations, but I'd rather let the cad hang himself on his own rope, as I expect he will shortly. His audacity knows no bounds. I believe he would make advances to a Barbary Ape if he could find one around here.

This town has its share of odd characters, I can tell you. But that's England, isn't it? We value our eccentricities here.

* Penelope

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Tweed
Date: 11 May 03 - 12:50 AM

Khnandoo! Still parading around az the fictitshus Mz.Penelope Rutledge are you? HAW! You fool nobobby wif that ridicuolus wig and bonnet.
Yerz,
Tweed

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 11 May 03 - 01:33 AM

Tweed, you are obviously drunk. My advice is, sleep it off, and then turn over a new leaf and consider the merits of abstinence.

* PR

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 11 May 03 - 07:07 AM

Methinks Tweed has turned over an "Oakleaf"

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 11 May 03 - 03:06 PM

I have nearly finished my sculpture of Ms Penelope Rutledge in my pig sty, a bit like the blind bird on Lionel Richie's Hello video but with the sexes reversed and without the blindness. And in a pig sty. The face is more beautiful than can be imagined, with a faint hint of a moustache.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Tweed
Date: 11 May 03 - 10:13 PM

I yam certain thet it wil be farely evervesent thet she habz a rather prodijus Adam's Apple az well, Oakerz.

The shameless harpy kin be found hovering over that cow pie ob BS khnown az the Mother of All BS Threads and should be collected posthayste before the armadilloes are unleashed on her angular ass!! I will soon be taking delibery obv several cubic yards ob the armored liddle lepers and will nod be held defensible for thar actions.

I will leeve now before the clonepeeple find me here and send this thread into the snakepit below whar it belongs. I congratulate you all in beeng able to deseive them and remain in the wolrd obv sunlight and open air for az long az you habve Mum's the word, so Happy Mother's Day to all you English Mums and the Scotlandish and Irish, Welsh and Yorkish ones oslo.

Yerz,
Tweed

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 12 May 03 - 04:44 AM

I see the drivel fest has recommenced in ernest! Saturday was fun, in case anyone's interested.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 12 May 03 - 04:58 AM

A father bought his two sons two horses. The boys were very pleased with the gift and amicably chose one each. But they thought how to tell the difference.
One boy thought I know we will cut the mane on mine that will do it. And for some time it worked until the mane grew back.

The other boy thought I will cut the tail of mine and agin it worked until it grew back.

After days and days of thinking it over they decided to measure the horses. And it worked the black horse was one hand bigger than the brown one.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 12 May 03 - 05:32 AM

I had a cat like that but it was blacker.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 May 03 - 05:36 AM

Classic thread.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 12 May 03 - 05:52 AM

Congratulations Deanie bhouy! I hear that your string breaking drought is over!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Concerned of Huddersfield
Date: 12 May 03 - 07:02 AM

My white cat is blacker than that cat of yours

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 12 May 03 - 09:03 AM

hi john s'p

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 12 May 03 - 10:21 AM

HI Sweetfire - got the shoes and hand bag to go with the frock yet?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 12 May 03 - 10:27 AM

Dear Concerned,

My black cat could have been blacker than that white one of yours, but on reflection decided to be whiter.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Concerned of Huddersfield
Date: 12 May 03 - 10:32 AM

Whiter than White ...............typical response from Hull

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 12 May 03 - 10:51 AM

It was last thurs!!!Thanx for asking tho.
Yeah got the shoes, they weren't on for much of the night tho...they killed when you walked. But hey, they looked bloody gorgeous!!! Should of seen what colour my feet where afterwards, a sort of black/brown! Lovely!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Concerned of Huddersfield
Date: 12 May 03 - 11:31 AM

Bet my feet were Blacker/browner than yours

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 12 May 03 - 11:34 AM

But what size are they?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 12 May 03 - 12:12 PM

No,just whiter than black, nowt typical about dear old 'ull.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 12 May 03 - 12:49 PM

Isn't it just typical that there's nowt typical about Hull tut!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 12 May 03 - 01:28 PM

heloo, tonight is the grand final of the Tap on Wood competition at the Tap & Spile, spring bank, hull, it starts at 9.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 12 May 03 - 01:42 PM

The statue is complete. She now stands in Isopon slendour, 5'4", clad in a shell suit with driving gloves (I am no good at hands). The Venus de Mile End, as she is known, is as fitting a tribute to my love for Ms Penelope Ruttledge as is humanly possible to sculpt. The area in the pig sty where she stands, next to the spare Massey Furgusson centre-housing and fertiliser bags is now a shrine. I really could cut my bloody ear off, I really could.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Tweed
Date: 12 May 03 - 09:06 PM

Dere Oakum,

Whad iz this flexation wif the Harpy Penny Rutabaga? I habv witnessed this in another thread that I will leebv uncalled, by a flesh crazed Canadian this very day and am amazed by her (Pene Rankbott's) cathetre-like charms and hypnotic wiles.

Now it iz ominous to me that you habv oslo fallen ill and depraved and busy yoreself wif setting up graven images ov this demonnesz from Hell or Bainbridge or Nutting-on-the-Moors. Iz thar bad haguss in yore local markets or posonby some other dyspepsik reason to become mad and behabve in this loonish manner?

I trust you will recover soon and laugh with much pudendus at your folly someday.

Yerz,
Tweed

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 13 May 03 - 03:53 AM

Tweed
We thank you for your concern over dear old oaklet but I'm afraid his obsession with Nurse Penny is incurable. We've tried both electric and meathaine shock treatment but sadly to no availe. We even sent him on a cruse on a Russian Icebreaker but the enforced isolation made him worse (and it would seem the owner of said ice breaker - somthing to do with a card game at a rediculus drunken hour and the russian captain deciding that he would be beter off giving oaklet the ship and going to live in siberia - the details arn't too clear). We have tried all the conventional drug treatments and even Mrs Drinkall's famous cure all. I'm afraid its a hopeless case we are at a loss. So we have decided to allow him to run with his fantasies but have provided Nurse Penny with a 24 hour armed guard so there is no need to worry about her.

Yours
Dr SP

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 13 May 03 - 04:16 AM

I have so missed the Twillingsgate Saga. It would appear that the sordid life of the small country town is escalating beyond all control. Oakleaf, come down off your wooden fence and take control of the place at once, before total anarchy sets in!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatollah
Date: 13 May 03 - 10:28 AM

Brigg Beer Festival 16th & 17th provides various libations for infidels such as Oaklet and Skippy the Dunnock after their exhibitionisms (dictionary def. "Compulsion to display one's genitals in public") at Brigg Fiddle Fest. Allah (peas be upon him) does not permit me to inbibe, but as a multi instrumentalist, I shall be performing on my Rebec, Sarod, Sabra Wadi and Quakker - provided I'm not incapacitated by secondary alcholismm.

PS Venue changed to somewhere near - don't know exactly where.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatollah
Date: 13 May 03 - 10:41 AM

Was I on the right thread? There was nothing about horses and even some info. Please forgive me Oaklet.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 13 May 03 - 11:23 AM

Ossencart, you in Whitby over the bank holiday?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 May 03 - 11:37 AM

Ayatollah, may I remind you that this is a music site for musicians and those interested in music in order that they can swap musical ideas and musical resources. It is not a suitable place to drivel on about your genitals. Nor, Raggytash, is it a dating service. If you don't desist I have no option but to report you all so help me.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 13 May 03 - 11:46 AM

My enquiry to Ossenwells is positively based in music, cos if he's in Whitby we may well make music together ..............Aye and possibly sing a song or two in Butlers Beer Boutique and the Equine Negris

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 13 May 03 - 01:50 PM

Might sound a tad picky oaklet, butI thought it was your genitals he was drivelling on.

You leave our dating agency alone. AFter this week we are thinking we might extend it to personal services, such as painless pile and earwax removal.You could maybe use the by products for more sculptures of the lovely penelope?

Hang on Raggy, just checking the old diary!!

I shall be manipulating the old tonsils - on the Saturday night 31st May, at the "Rose and Crown" in Hornsea.
However, that does leave the Sunday and Monday to make a mess of oneself dont it?

Yes, I could be up for fun, japes and sume bear9hoi and song .

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 13 May 03 - 02:21 PM

it's like stepping into a twilight zone
haha, quess what pete, i've got blonde in my hair now, sorry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 13 May 03 - 02:41 PM

No one, not even a bloke with a limp, ever gets away with drivelling on my genitals.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 13 May 03 - 02:57 PM

A limp what pray tell?

Ossen-by-the-sea The bank holiday is the preceding weekend 24/25/26th

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 13 May 03 - 03:19 PM

Drat !! I am busy that weekend.playing Friday at the "Hope and Anchor" and Sunday at the "Sun Inn" Beverley.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 14 May 03 - 03:41 AM

What are these threads actually for??? Was there at some point a reason for 'May Punch...' starting? Or do they just come about and then people just talk BS?
Don't mean anything to the creator of this, i'm just wondering
you'll see I do alot of it

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 May 03 - 04:42 AM

A lot of wondering or BS??

Historically the bhouys from PtH had dozens of threads going all at once (I hasten to add they were not responsible for creating them all)full of BS and useful information about whats happening who is playing where and of course the occasional drinking challenge. Inorder not to take up so much time and space for those not interested in our peculiarities it was decided to limit our ramblings to one thread a munf. Hence this thread and next munf will be the PtH June thread etc. That answer your question Sweetfire?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 14 May 03 - 04:46 AM

S'fire, the meaning of the thread is deep and spiritual, and totally inexplicable in words of less than 2000. Pay attention, and you may come to understand in the fullness of time.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 May 03 - 05:01 AM

You forgot to say "Grasshoper" tut tut tut!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 14 May 03 - 05:29 AM

What BS?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 14 May 03 - 05:33 AM

Would some nice person please tell me what BS stands for...................................................................................................................................................... or am I correct in thinking Bull Shit

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 14 May 03 - 05:37 AM

Bloody stunning (conversation)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 14 May 03 - 06:54 AM

BS is based on the American Educational System. There are three degrees, Bs, Ms, and PHd

They stand for

Bull Shit

More Shit


Piled High and Deep.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 14 May 03 - 10:40 AM

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 14 May 03 - 10:44 AM

Shit, what happened there? just lost me thread.

well said noddy !!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 14 May 03 - 11:11 AM

Ok, would some nice kind person tell me what BS stands for on this media IE Mudact

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 14 May 03 - 02:21 PM

Ok Raggy old bean !! Never one to let a mate down.
Up strides the kindly ossonflags with his serious head on to give you the true -if slightly boring - explanation of "BS"

It means "Breeze shooting" as in:

" A bunch of the boys were stood around the old cracker barrel in Zekes store,telling tall tales, scratching their balls and whittling.When in minced the Revr'nd Mcgillucuddy who lisped "Hi Guys you shooting the breeze?" I know, I know!! it is American granted, but we all know it is a euphonism for "BULLSHIT!!!!!"

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: MMario
Date: 14 May 03 - 02:24 PM

actually - on this forum it means whatever you want it to mean - but most commonly BS = Not music, not technical.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST
Date: 14 May 03 - 07:55 PM

Scratching their balls and whittling??? I thought the driveling part was alarming.
I was however sincerely hoping someone was going to explain what Punch the Horse means.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 15 May 03 - 04:03 AM

I would explain but I fear you may be alarmed.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 15 May 03 - 04:46 AM

Scratching their balls and whittling .........

Hmmm one hand scratching, one hand whittling


............one handed whittling


.............could be dangerous

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 15 May 03 - 05:21 AM

An american cowboy once told me he could roll a cigarette one handed.He also told me his black horse was blacker than my cat.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 May 03 - 07:22 AM

i think abit of both small piper!! And yeah thanx for that, what you said made sence.

But pete, deep and spiritual....yerr riiight!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 May 03 - 09:20 AM

Since males seem to predominate this thread does that mean i'm antonyms?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 15 May 03 - 09:31 AM

What do you mean, you're a word that means the opposite of what other word.
Kindly write a dissertation to explain the fundamental basis of your theory, 10000 words should do it.

That'll keep her busy boys, then we'll sneak a new thread in |June

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 15 May 03 - 09:35 AM

That dosn't make sense! How can you be a WORD of contrary meaning to another? Duh!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 15 May 03 - 09:36 AM

Drivel is solely propagated by the male of the species.

Discuss.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 May 03 - 09:57 AM

hahahaha
predominate - overshadow, riegn, rule
antonyms - inferior/unimportant.

'since males seem to rule this thread, does that mean whatever i say is unimportant' can u understand that????   of course one word means the opposite to the other, it definately wouldn't make sence if the two words above where the same. doh!

i was just being daft u idiot. god!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:06 AM

God ... Now your talking to God! Girl make your mind up!

If you feel that what ever you say is unimportant then get some help you can't go around with this inferiority complex.

Check your dictionary

An Antonym is a word that is opposite in meaning to another word i.e. Good / Evil etc. Here endeth the lesson...

Now what where we saying.......................

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:19 AM

Sweetfire,
Antonyms does not mean inferior or unimportant and neither do you.

Your drivel is as good as any other drivel on this thread and I speak as an expert driveller, almost international class (but not in the same class as Oakleaf, that boy is in a class of his own, should be a padded cell really)

An antonym is a word that means the opposite of another - good/bad that sort of thing

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:31 AM

no no no
right i got a dictionary...here's what it says
Antonyms - inferior, minor, secondary, unimportant
you lot seen to be saying antonym, i'm saying antonymS. There seems to be a difference in spelling, hence the difference in meaning.
i was being stupid, i just noticed there seem to be very few female entries that's all. i need to stop talking bs

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 15 May 03 - 10:54 AM

Sweetfire, you are being given the antonyms to the word you looked up first, presumably 'predominate'.

You are using a synonyms/antonyms dictionary, not an ordinary one which just gives definitions. You'll notice that all words will have an 'antonyms-' bit after them?

Great what you learn from these 'drivel' threads, innit?!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:01 AM

thank god there is a sensible one

which is so clearly not me

sorry boys, u where both right, my bad.

man i feel stupid, oh my, what a dumbass mistake, i blame the dictionary

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:10 AM

the pm before noreen i was just trying to give some kind of a reason, the differecnce in spelling was all i could think of. I'm sure the colour in my cheeks will go soon.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:27 AM

Chill, sweetfire. Blame the dictionary, it won't mind :0)

I can unfortunately remember only too well writing things on Mudcat that I still blush about now... and no, I won't give you a link to them!

Some contributors to these thread should be blushing at some of the stuff they write....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:38 AM

I did!!i was going to throw it across the room but it's a huge Collins one, so not much point, it wouldn't go very far!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 15 May 03 - 11:49 AM

I have just put on my scented rutting goggles.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 15 May 03 - 01:06 PM

I hope Mrs Drinkall at no. 21 is aware that rutting season has begun.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 15 May 03 - 01:24 PM

Ah back to the quality drivel Oakers old chap. They broke the mould when they made you. Actually they broke the mould just before they made you.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Bassic
Date: 15 May 03 - 01:35 PM

Oh Oakley and Les, you have no idea how much I needed the smile that you have just put on my face! Thanks buddies :-)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 15 May 03 - 01:46 PM

Heloo, I am full up now, i just had fish and chips twice! I bought a fish and chips for my imaginary frend, but when i got home he wasn't hungry, so i ate them both myself.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 15 May 03 - 02:25 PM

Oakleaf
Take care with those googles, you know how ladies make passes at men with glasses, don the feathered helmet and stained glass groin guard

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 15 May 03 - 02:28 PM

?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 15 May 03 - 02:33 PM

ow ow ow my sides are hurting from laughing!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 15 May 03 - 03:01 PM

Just as well I didn't mention the ribbed singlet and snap-on fungus turret.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 May 03 - 03:15 PM

i'm guessing this is guy talk...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 15 May 03 - 03:58 PM

Oh the snap on fungus turret, you still have the one adorned with blanc and bistre champignon de Paris. Glorious piece of craftmanship.
Take care however the clasps can become wedged which proves inordinately inconvenient at those moments.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 15 May 03 - 04:44 PM

or the cardigan oaklet don't for get the cardigan!

Don't feel left out sweetfire I'm sure you can come up with some contributions to this drivel

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 15 May 03 - 04:49 PM

oh no it's quite amusing reading what u loada loons are writing, im enjoying it....please do continue....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 15 May 03 - 04:56 PM

Isn't a Loon some kind of small flappy thing of the Gull family?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 15 May 03 - 07:16 PM

No No No, Smallpiper you have been mislead by this band of Vagabonds that regale under the name "Dowk the donkey"
A loon is a rogue, a scamp or a idler or when applied to the "fairer" sex a STRUMPET no less.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 16 May 03 - 02:05 AM

A rogue, a scamp or an idler I can understand but a musical instrument of the Brass family when applied to the fairer sex confuses me! Oh you mean brazen Brash and Loud! I see

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 16 May 03 - 04:33 AM

If any one is interested, Punch The Horse is playing at the "Nelthorpe Arms" South Ferriby this Saturday night -17th May.- 9pm start.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 May 03 - 05:00 AM

Can I come?

Are they the £19.99 pair or the deluxe model, David?

Also, I am awaiting production deadline for the Absorbant helmet/funicular Mushroom production booth sex in the city nitrogen inspection harness. As your European Sales Director, this is urgently required information. The punters are lining up as I type.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:15 AM

Did they put something in your coffee this morning pete?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:58 AM

just need to know....anybody heard of a film called 'No sex, please - we are British'???? it was out in the 70's....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatollah
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:05 AM

Kleines piper ist korrekt. Allah hat mir die Informationen geschickt. Das Loons sind Arten der Tauchen Vo(with umlaut)gel. Es gibt rote Throated Taucher, schwarze Throated Taucher und Grosse Nordtaucher - nichts, mit den Oaklets Genitals zu tun.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:16 AM

This thread has really taken off. I don't have any delivery information regarding the availability of Absorbant helmet/funicular Mushroom production booth sex in the city nitrogen inspection harnesses, but I do have a quantity of upholsterers' yeast and some ex Canadian Airforce surveveyors Owl Nuts to get shut of. The Caving Jelly capsules sold within 4 hours! My other company, Legumes du Bain sa is selling Relaxing Bath Sprouts for £3.99 each. Have a look at www.legumesdubain.fr

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:16 AM

Sweetfire: yes.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:21 AM

Oh dear, Oaklet darling, www.legumesdubain.fr is a forbidden site on my library computer- is it at all suggestive?

I so liked the thought of Relaxing Bath Sprouts. Please let me have a snail mail address for your company.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 16 May 03 - 07:41 AM

I thought it started life as a stage play

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,noddy
Date: 16 May 03 - 08:28 AM

I thought loons were baggy trousers.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 16 May 03 - 08:38 AM

Saw this & thought of you guys!!!

"Equine Prosthetics, Inc. is a unique company that makes equine orthopedic devices based on tested and successful designs currently used in human medicine. We use contemporary techniques and superior materials to reduce the bulk and increase effectiveness, and because they are custom-made, they greatly reduce the chance of rubs or sores.
By utilizing these methods and materials we can advance animal support systems to a new level of innovative care, comfort and efficacy.
Toll-free number: (866) Peg-Legs. {866-734-5347].

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:26 AM

I have just been insulted. By a Bap. Where would the world be without Oakley Enterprises Inc.?

Equine Prosthetics, Karen.....??? Have heard it all now! Fabulous entry for this lunatic thread! Will we be seeing you at the Nelthorpe Arms tomorrow night?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:41 AM

Karen, and anyone who is anybody, will be camping out under the cooling towers of Selby this glorious sunshiny weekend.

Be there, or don't.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 16 May 03 - 09:49 AM

I could have a use for one of these equine prosethics, do they do Donkeys?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 03 - 10:17 AM

The loon is a charming water bird found throughout the Ontario, Canada northland. It has a very distinctive and haunting cry, often heard lilting across quiet lakes in the early dawn. Nothing else on Earth sounds like it. It's very beautiful looking too (exquisite patterns of black and white feathers, graceful form, long neck), and it's a marvelous swimmer. You more often see them swimming and diving than flying.

It may also be found on the Canadian one-dollar coin, which has been popularly dubbed "the Loonie".

I know it sounds odd, but it's true. This is Canada, eh?

"Totally decent, man...Canada ROCKS!!!" (to quote BDiBR)

I don't know where the expression "crazy as a loon" came from, but it must have been inspired by the bird's cry, I would think, which would sound crazy coming from a human being. The only thing in nature which resembles it much is a hyena's laugh. It's spooky.

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 16 May 03 - 12:11 PM

They don't do Donkeys I'm afraid but they do Dog prosthetics as well, oh hum.
Sorry we'll be missing the Nelthorpe gig Dean, er Jack, er Walter, oh yes I've got it Pete!!!! But as the lovely Noreen says we'll be at the Yorkshire Gathering although I'm not sure now if we will be camping as Colin poor boy has had a nasty cold & it has got on his chest. If I rub 'im down with enough liniment he might just feel up to it but I'm not sure the sturdy souls of the gathering could cope with the prospect of Colin hacking up bits of lung tissue on Sun. morning...catch my drift!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 16 May 03 - 12:16 PM

Loons were also a kind of hipster trouser usually of very bright material with huge flares and embrodary up the side very popular in the late 60's early 70's I believe. God they were awful I hope they don't bring em back ooops to late!

The equine prothsetics are competing with Deaf Shepherd and the selby bashthen mmmm choices!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 16 May 03 - 02:06 PM

Is the film any good noreen? I was researching a guy involved in the making of films, and just noticed his works included that film...
what are prothsetics?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Willa
Date: 16 May 03 - 03:47 PM

No Sex, Please, We're British (1973, Ronnie Corbett, Beryl Reid, Arthur Lowe et al)
prosthetic; an artificial part of the body. Is a donkey with a wooden leg a wonkey donkey?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:32 PM

A lovely thread, this.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:40 PM

Heloo, they eat donkeys in france, i know this because Dodgy Derek told me, he went there for holidays with his girlfrend called Angela, and he should it was shite, all the food was foreigen and the weather was crap, so he id notgoing there anymore.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:42 PM

ps, i think they eat slugs there as well, i never been to france, and i am never going, it sounds crap.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 16 May 03 - 06:52 PM

and frogs.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 17 May 03 - 05:12 AM

Didn't they used to call condoms prosthetics?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 17 May 03 - 05:34 AM

Silly me it's prophylactic!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 17 May 03 - 01:14 PM

no it's not a wonkey donkey because that wouldn't happen, it would just get shot if it needed any limbs replacing...oh yeah im so in a good mood

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 17 May 03 - 01:42 PM

p.s
yes john the french do eat horses (stupid bastards), snails and frogs and the chinese eat dogs. or at least they used to...which is also stupid. but hey, people from india probably think we are wrong to eat cows...and that we should just let them stand in the middle of reoads and shit everywhere. I think we have the right idea...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 17 May 03 - 06:28 PM

Heloo, i was just about to starta thread "BS:Are french people rubbish?, but somebody did that recently and itgot delted, anyway, if a cow shit in the middle of one of my records i would be pissed off, but i got no records anyway 9only cds), and anoither anyway, i domt think a cow would fit threw my front door.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 18 May 03 - 05:53 AM

But french people make really good wine, and it goes really well with all them cows that we eat. Therefore they can't be all that bad, and after a bottle or two I tend to think they are wonderful.
(yes... both the French and the cows).

ENOUGH about cows and french people what I and the rest of the world want to know is.... What has Oakley invented today???????????????

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 18 May 03 - 06:31 AM

Will he please work on an automated snooker cue for me that will produce breaks of 50+

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 18 May 03 - 07:58 AM

Small more piper is correct. Allah sent the information to me. The Loons are kinds dipping birds. There is red Throated diver, black Throated diver and large north divers - nothing to do with the Oaklets Genitals.
   This translation function is mystical. It is decreed that you don't come back to what you started with.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,A bored observer.
Date: 18 May 03 - 10:03 AM

no comment.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 18 May 03 - 11:49 AM

"no comment" is clearly a comment. So come on A bored observer, say what you really mean!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 18 May 03 - 11:57 AM

10576

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 18 May 03 - 12:10 PM

oh yea i totally know what you mean john hullian!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 May 03 - 01:21 PM

You people are really missing out by not contributing your particular brand of drivel on a daily basis to The MOTHER OF ALL BS THREADS<\b>. It won't last forever, you know. Heed the words of the wise and get in there before it's too late.

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 18 May 03 - 02:25 PM

Equine Prosthetics Patients.
Oakley is a 116-year-old, 16 hand, Thoroughbred gelding (so I really don't know why he's drivelling on about genitals!) with a right leg prosthetic, also a left leg; right arm; left arm; torso; & neck. The majority of his head is present, although completely non-functional from the forehead down.

Pete is a 21-year-old stallion with a full right prosthesis for five years now. Which is why he can't walk in a straight line. His stump terminates at mid-cannon, although he does not have any mobility in his hock anymore!!!!!! His prosthetic was rebuilt to improve upon the gait pattern.

Forgive me I've just returned from the Yorkshire gathering!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 18 May 03 - 03:25 PM

Hey I know those two.

Some of us have contributed to the Mother thread Little Hawk.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 19 May 03 - 08:27 AM

Hey raggy, are you still on for this saterdaty at the whitters?

Am coming up on the sat morn going back on the sun afternoon to play at the sun bev.Hope to see you for sume Bear9Hoi and song and that !

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 May 03 - 08:43 AM

I have just received the lastest batch of Arbitration Kebabs.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 19 May 03 - 08:51 AM

Oh Yes Leider Ossen I shall be in the fair town on Wednesday, still using last years holiday up. Tony, he with the Mandolin and talent will also be there this weekend, so we should be in for another good one.
Tell Oak leaf until he has eaten Braised Ducks Feet he has never truly lived

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 19 May 03 - 10:35 AM

David, the Calming, Soothing, Relaxing Lizard Helmet Putty is proving a little hard to shift at £5 per scoop. I feel that is may be wise to realign your pricing structure to suit the Usbekistan economic situation. I think three scoops for a tenner might just get things moving in the right direction.

Do the Flood Prevention Anal Poppies come in packs of ten? £2.99 seems a little steep for just one.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:02 AM

After reading the information brought to us by KJ.....i think there should be more Yorkshire Gatherings!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:38 AM

Oak's more like a Gelderlander...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:46 AM

And where were you, sweetfire dear? :)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:48 AM

where was i when???

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 19 May 03 - 11:53 AM

Tuesday will be on wensday next week, see thread "Day change at the Sun".

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 19 May 03 - 12:00 PM

Why weren't you at the Yorkshire gathering, sweetfire? Was fun!
But there again, Horse Punchers were notable by their absence, despite promises to the contrary- apart from the lovely Nik Nak.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 19 May 03 - 02:50 PM

I sincerely hope that the Flood Prevention Anal Poppies are rigorously tested. Do they have a recognised product certification mark? Do they come with your personal guarantee? I really feel that these prducts should be investigated by the Trading Standards people.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 19 May 03 - 05:13 PM

Sweetfire has got her GCSE's so she WILL have been revising Noreen.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 19 May 03 - 06:16 PM

Dunno Demister, but I have got me hands on a beautiful traction engine cosy from the war. £130 ovno.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 19 May 03 - 06:27 PM

A quilted one?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 20 May 03 - 03:39 AM

Ummm, mor likely to be velcro methinks, given Oakley's tastes.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 20 May 03 - 06:05 AM

This particular pugilist was busy mixing cement and laying a Patio, when not strutting his stallionesque prowess at the Nelthorpe Arms. Sorry, couldn't make it, guys. By the renewed vigour of the drivel on this wonderful thread, it would seem that you all had a wonderful time...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 20 May 03 - 06:11 AM

Raggylad, Is it the same Tony with the lovely autoharp playing partner?

I will be thereon parade saturday morning ish - after I have finished my last batch of chitterlings, (only available at donny market)They also sell cow heel and black and white tripe - real Yorkshire soul food.If you can get them in the Huddersfield please let me know.

Dont remember promising to attend Noreen,else i would have been there.Anyway, Nikki will have kept our end up if she played as well as she did at the Saturday nights Nelthorpe Arms gig.

I was told in strictest confidence that Oakley only wears velcro next to the skin.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatollah
Date: 20 May 03 - 06:32 AM

Allah has intimated to me that the "bored observer" is a female who is tired of living. However, He tells me that she has no idea of how to cope with the 40 virgins promised when she shuffles off. I am prepared to bestow a dispensation whereby she can give them to Oaklet who, by the way, has donned his summer transparent jeans. Smallpiper, who has a greater stomach for such things than I will take a look and diseminate to us all the knowledge of what groin abnormality or worn underpant tight painfullness mandates his playing swift passages on his violin whilst stood on one leg.

Allah hat intimated zu mir, daß der "gebohrte Beobachter" eine Frau ist, die vom Leben müde ist. Jedoch hat sie keine Idee von, wie man mit den 40 Jungfrauen fertig wird, daß sie zu erlaubt werden kann, wenn sie weg shuffles. Ich werde vorbereitet, eine Zuteilung zu schenken, hingegen sie sie Oaklet geben kann, das übrigens seine transparenten Sommerjeans angezogen hat. _ Smallpiper, einen ein groß Magen für solch Sache als i haben, werden nehmen zu uns einen ein Blick und ein diseminate das ganz d knowlege von was LeisteAbweichung oder tragen underpant fest painfullness unterstellen sein spielen schnell Durchgang auf sein Violine während stehen auf ein Bein.

Allah has intimated to me that the "bored observer" is a woman, who is tired from the life. However it does not have an idea of, how one becomes finished with the 40 virgins that she can be too permitted, if her away shuffles. I will prepared to give a dispatching to give however her her Oaklet can, that by the way its transparent Sommerjeans tightened _ Smallpiper, largely a stomach for such thing as i to have, become to take us a view and diseminate that completely D knowlege from which border deviation or carries painfullness to subordinate underpant firmly its to play fast passage on its violin during to stand on a leg.

(this translation function breaths new life into folk)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 20 May 03 - 07:15 AM

Ossen Venger, Yes tis the same, the young lady with the Autoharp is named Angela. Tony is the damned fine Mandolin player, I'm looking forward to playing along with him again.
However my little Wombat too is now the proud owner of one Autoharp, she fancied playing Angela's, who sadly wouldn't part with it for love nor money, so I purchased one for her. She's coming on nicely considering she's never played a stringed instrument before.

As for eating offal ............ you are very welcome to consume my share, a sentiment echoed by Wombat and the son and hairy

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 20 May 03 - 07:30 AM

Hey ayaltollah me owld mucka I have it from Alla his sen that I don't have to do such stuff anymore. He gave me special dispensation for being a good lad! However in the interests of science I will ak the man but I refuse to look!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 20 May 03 - 07:56 AM

Smallpiper if you could possibly gather the courage to look at Oakley's crotch,I have various implements that may be of use.Such as a microscope!! (ha ha that was to be expected)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 20 May 03 - 08:02 AM

I start to make pants for Oakleaf. They have to be camel. And soft and strong. And they have to have big pockets so he can Keep a lot of
things. Marbles and string and pennies and rocks. And they have to be washable and they have to fit closer round the leg ... so he can run if he needs to escape . And they have to be something he can lay back in when he holds Mrs Drinkall of No.21 in front of the fire. And ...
I dream and dream and dream and dream and dream and dream and dream...... over Oakleaf's pants. And cut and sew. And finish them. And send them off.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 20 May 03 - 09:41 AM

KJ I thought you were more discerning than to go panting over Oakleaf, desist at once, you may well live to regret it if you follow this wayward course.
Alternatively you too may end up with twenty virgins, get another four and go to Inverness

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 20 May 03 - 12:10 PM

Raggylad,very very very sad to hear you dont like eating the finer things of life. I thought you lot round Huddersfield were reared on the stuff.So it will be no good me fetching some crubeens for you at weekend - capital drinking fodder!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 20 May 03 - 12:56 PM

Ah Raggytash I cannot deny my passion for Oakleaf's fungoid form,but alas I cannot go to Inverness for I do not have the requisite qualification...that of being a virgin. Unfortunately my maidenhead was mislaid more years ago than I care to remember. Woe is me, I shall go forth immediately, book in at the nearest psychiatric unit & sing love songs to the walls of my padded cell whilst I muse upon my beloved.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 20 May 03 - 01:35 PM

I'll join you in some crubeens, OssonF my dear- my dad's favourite! (I was brung up right, obviously.)

Of course I didn't mean to imply that the Equine Pugilists were unreliable in any shape or form- particularly the gorgeous Oakley who is totally predictable in his inconsitency.

Anyway, it sounds as though KJ would have been totally overwhelmed by Oakley's proximity... he is the stuff that dreams are made on...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 20 May 03 - 01:43 PM

Mick-its a pity i didnt know you liked offal, when i was working near York, i could have got you a big bag of turkey guts every day.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 20 May 03 - 03:49 PM

Go on then I'll have to ask, What on earth are Crubeens, and incidentlally OsseyChops I hail from God's County The County Paletine of Lancashire ............I reside in Yorkshire purely so I can carry out my missionary work

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 20 May 03 - 04:50 PM

trotters!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 20 May 03 - 07:01 PM

Noreen! it was a civilised question from a comer-in, I thought you too hailed fron the fairest county

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: mandomad
Date: 20 May 03 - 07:24 PM

Heyup!
      Can I join this strange thread, to just say, I too am an offal fan, I could be found scoffin' a large plate of mixed tripe in Barnsley market on Saturday last!   My good lady (of the autoharp)absolutely detests the stuff, so I have to sneak offt to consume it in the privacy of my own pants.
      Thanks for the compliments Raggytash, Yes I'm looking forward to Saturday in the Endeavour especially as you and Ossoneffs will be there.   The Butler's won't be...I think they're at a Wedding.
       I hereby promise not to bring any Tripe, brawn, black pudding or cowheel with me.    Under protest, of course.
         

                           mandomad

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 20 May 03 - 07:30 PM

Indeed, a Lassie from Lancashire, of Irish ancestry, speaking only the truth :0)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 20 May 03 - 08:06 PM

I'm always overwhelmed by Oakley's proximity Noreen, so overwhelmed I have to rush for the prozac....sigh....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 21 May 03 - 03:41 AM

Now Black Pudding I can cope with verily, and white puddding, in fact I'll bring some with me for breakfast

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 21 May 03 - 07:30 AM

smallpiper was right noreen, very gutted i couldn't go.

oh, what is offal? this is a very strange thread, indeed...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 21 May 03 - 07:38 AM

It's the bits of an animal that you shouldn't eat, but that some people do anyway.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 21 May 03 - 07:42 AM

what 'bits' are we talking about???

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 21 May 03 - 07:50 AM

Most of the inside bits and extremities, feet, ears, throat, liver, kidneys, stomach and other bits that your too young to know about.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 21 May 03 - 07:56 AM

oh you mean the good bits.....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 21 May 03 - 08:11 AM

Fantastic!!! We made 200 posts on the thread! Les, u win the prize for the bicentennial entry. I shall present it at the next first Sunday session. Any suggestions as to what it should be, guys? And, with another 10 days to go, reckon we can make it 300?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 21 May 03 - 08:14 AM

Thanks to this thread, Sweetfire now knows what an antonym is, and can speak with confidence about offal. I hope you're proud of yourselves! S'fire, stick with us, kiddo. The GCSE's will be a cinch.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 21 May 03 - 09:43 AM

Placenta,some people fry it, some boil it, I've heard of it made into a curry & some people have placenta parties! However, all nutritional value is lost unless it's eaten raw.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 21 May 03 - 10:00 AM

hahaha

don't worry im sure my constant BS can help aswell as others, to get this thread to 300!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 21 May 03 - 10:10 AM

Dead on Noreen and Mandomad !! Crubeens or the pigus trottus are indeed the things dreams are made of.However, turkey guts vindaloo is food of the gods, John. Maybe Deany could present a selection box of them to Les as the prize for his two hundreth post?

And of course I stand corrected - again - Raggy.Had I known about your Trans Pennine ancestory I would have said staple diet, not reared.When I was travelling building the Iron road, I had experiance of diggings in Manchester and other parts of the Lancashire , were the landladys served little else.But your credibillity is saved - your liking for the Black and White pudding (also kippers) has done that.

Did you know that in County Cork they sell a type of black pudding called "Drisheen"? this is square shaped and is excellant.

looking forward to seeing you on Saturday.

Oh bye the bye did i mention that "Punch the Horse will be appearing at "Hope and Anchor"South Ferriby on friday night and the "Sun" Bev. Sunday?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 21 May 03 - 10:20 AM

Kindly keep to the heart of the thread, these diversions about who is playing wher when only serve to confuse the issue

I've just bought some white pud, so if you're on Stoupe Cross on Sunday morning perhaps we could breakfast together

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 21 May 03 - 11:56 AM

Offal for breakfast....? The thought makes me a tad poorly. I can only face bacon and eggs myself.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 21 May 03 - 11:59 AM

I can't face the new day without a plateful of Byelaw Enforcement Noodles.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 21 May 03 - 01:14 PM

With lashings of Legislation sauce yummmmmmeeeeeeeeeeee!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 21 May 03 - 01:22 PM

Aaaaah Oakers me boy,remember faggots & paze?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 21 May 03 - 01:24 PM

& gray farters!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Nemesis
Date: 21 May 03 - 08:34 PM

'ere lads, never mind all this .. do you do gigs outside 9Hull? Need a band in Oxfordshire on 21st June!!! Help?? It pays BTW .. PM me or just express interest here?
Cheers
Hille

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 22 May 03 - 03:48 AM

Hille, firstly, I doubt we would travel that far, but more importantly, 21st June falls smack in the middle of the Beverley and East Riding Folk Festival. Not a chance mate. But thanks for the offer!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 22 May 03 - 04:18 AM

I reckon there is some kind of favouritism going on here ossonflags, you are awarding all the top prizes to your old mate Les! Didn't he win a dead spider about this time last year for guessing your name or summat? Les wil be happy now, first a dead spider, now a big bag of turkey guts!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 22 May 03 - 07:59 AM

I so wanted to win the dead spider but Les beat me to it as usual

Gerry

BTW is a dead spider not classed as offal

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 22 May 03 - 08:07 AM

put your hand up if your sure you passed your i.t test this morning!!!

mmmmmm, dead spider....i think i'll pass on that

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 22 May 03 - 08:14 AM

what time does do you boys start playin on sunday?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Wombat (Raggytash's Mrs)
Date: 22 May 03 - 08:58 AM

Hi Sweetfire

Son of Raggytash is putting his hand halfway up 'cos he thinks he might have passed his IT GCSE -
Raggytash is away sunning himself and eating white pudding in whitters are the moment, so I logged on to this crazy thread on his behalf.
I will be there Saturday complete with new autoharp - trouble is I can only play a couple of things as yet, but I'm getting there! Watch this space.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 22 May 03 - 11:28 AM

8.30, s'fire

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 22 May 03 - 11:32 AM

right well, time to have some fun on sunday night then...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 22 May 03 - 01:21 PM

Is the lovely Nik Nak or Oakers playing with PTH on Fri?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 May 03 - 02:02 AM

Me, KJ.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 23 May 03 - 03:31 AM

anybody else wonder where summer is???

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 23 May 03 - 04:59 AM

It's where the living is easy S'fire which is most definately not bloody here!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 23 May 03 - 05:01 AM

By the way Oakley, as a black country lad you never said if you'd partaken of aforementioned 'Gray Farters'

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 23 May 03 - 05:03 AM

I spotted it last week, it was heading down the Humber in a bright blue canoe, and was paddling like somthing narsty was afta it!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 23 May 03 - 05:18 AM

Karen, I do believe the oakiepumps exists on a pure diet of grey farters -likewise green,red,pink etc,that is of course, when he isnt grazing on damp grass.

God,I had nearly forgotten about the magical faggots and peas.Heron foods are doing the ever popular "Brains"brand faggots on special offer, I have just been to bunker up on them for the weekend.

raggy, I may be trying the new camp site this weekend -the one bottom of green lane,but will hopefully take up your kind offer of the brekkies.

Be lovely to see you sweetfire on the sunday night-8.30 prompt start

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 23 May 03 - 05:31 AM

Get it grip John!!!! It was no dead spider, but a small bulb of garlic that has growm somewhat and I will present to him at Oakleys - sorry - petes session session on the first sunday at the sun bev.

Punch the Horse of course, will be playing at the "Sun" Beverley this sun night.Oh, and at "Hope and Anchor" South Ferriby tonight,with the dashing part time Grazier Oakley.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 23 May 03 - 05:32 AM

Hey guys, sorry to intrude but there's a load of excitement here! A chemical factory has exploded off Swinemoor Lane in Bev. About half a mile from my office. Its well exciting....!! Hope nobody was killed. There's police, fire engines,sirens blasting, knobhead spectators all over the place. Who said nothing exciting happens in Beverley??

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 23 May 03 - 07:26 AM

That wasn't a chemical factory, that was Oakley exploding.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatollah
Date: 23 May 03 - 07:34 AM

This translation function is crap. It won't let me in. Ho hum what else can we do?

Hey guys, sorry to intrude but there's a load of excitement here! A chemical factory has exploded off Swinemoor Lane in Bev. About half a mile from my office. Its well exciting....!! Hope nobody was killed. There's police, fire engines,sirens blasting, knobhead spectators all over the place. Who said nothing exciting happens in Beverley??

Try another way......This thread will go long beyond the 300 mark God willing.

   becomes.......Dieses Gewinde geht über dem Gottwillen mit 300 Markierungen hinaus lang.

   or even......Este hilo de rosca irá largo más allá de querer del dios de 300 marcas.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatolla
Date: 23 May 03 - 07:40 AM

Back to .....This thread of spiral will go long beyond wanting of the God of 300 marks.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 23 May 03 - 09:01 AM

The spiral turneth ever round.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatollah
Date: 23 May 03 - 09:37 AM

KJ will soon burst into song over Oaklet's fungus.
I'm off on my yearly Hajj. All the best for the 300.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 23 May 03 - 09:44 AM

The bark of the South American pau d'arco tree kills all fungal infections stone dead. It probably kills the host as well so I wouldn't try that one Oakley! Enjoy your Hajj Ayatollah. If you come back with anything nasty, let me know & I'll see if I can cure it!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,Ayatollah
Date: 23 May 03 - 09:47 AM

BLOCKED SITE ALERT

The Web Site you are trying to access is restricted

The Web Site you have tried to access has been blocked of its content as it contravenes the North Lincolnshire Libraries and Information Services Policy on acceptable use of the Internet.

You must NOT attempt to access this, or other similar sites, again using any library public Internet terminals

Your request to access this site has been reported to the System Administrator and has been logged

If you persistently try and access restricted web sites, you may be refused access to the Internet via the library service.

If it is essential that you have access to this site for legitimate reasons please contact a member of the library staff who will be pleased to assist you.

Restricted by North Lincolnshire Council, Corporate Affairs IT

Follow this link to view North Lincolnshire Libraries and Information Services' Acceptable use Policy for Internet Access http://



                     Oops.......

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 23 May 03 - 11:26 AM

"Sluts with Nuts" is not suitable viewing for a bloke with a limp in a library.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 23 May 03 - 12:53 PM

Tut, tut Mr Oakley. Casting aspersions on the character of our own Ayatollah!Ive seen the bloke with the limp in our local reading establishment & I can vouch for the fact that he only goes on the most
edifying sites.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 23 May 03 - 01:25 PM

thanx osson, it will be lovely to see you too!!!

well something exciting happened at stables today....a pigeon was attacked by a cat. there was blood all over it.we managed to get hold of the bird though and it is now in a safe place. hopefully it will get better if the rats dont eat it, or the dog gets it like last time. but i got told off for laughing, oops!! its not my fault i have a sick and twisted mind!!

s'fire

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 24 May 03 - 10:51 AM

Good gog last night lads. Thankyou once again Ossonflags for doing my favourite.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 24 May 03 - 03:51 PM

is nik nak playin on sunday?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 25 May 03 - 07:53 PM

Nope She's in Italy with the Liverpool University Syphony but will be dashing back in time to play next saturday at where ever slap the Herse are on at....


I turn my back for a minute and look what happens to this thread... just 'cos I spent friday and saturday night completely stocious in Liverpool has nowt to do with anything mutter muter muter mutter mutter

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 25 May 03 - 10:16 PM

Heloo, waht does stocious mean?, i dont know why people like to using big werds that not many people knoe waht they mean,problyjust showing off!, anyway, i gettong drinked now, 9i drinking some rum, i had it ages, i offerrred some ti mick/ossonflags last time, but he he said 2no tanks john , i goy to be up for werking early in the morning, ) s, so i drink it myself, i got rum and coke, i niked the coke from work, its easy , you just put in your'e poket wehen the boss not their., anyway, i was going to say something else but i fogot, 9i remememberd, i am eating a big meat pie, it is one of themn tin ones you put in the oven with thr cripsy top, they really nice, you get pissed off f with curry everyday,, and i like to eating englidh food as wel somrtimes., anyway, i jutst put the telly on, waht a lowad of shit, just adverts and thast leaning zone stuff, foreiegn language stuuff, rubbish, i mithg complain, is that hoew yout spell complain? or is ir complanbe? not sure reaaly.john

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 25 May 03 - 10:27 PM

anywat, ponch them horse was in beberlwt tonight , and i aslk my boss for night off or going early , so i can see them , buy he said no "no, we are to bisy for night off, and not manage and cistomer copmlane etc", blar blar blar, and give me big headake, , i told him important i go, as it id traditionla irish and english culture etc, but he not listen, i said him waht musuc you like them , 9 he said he likees hoose music! huose music is big load of shit, he played his cd, and said 2this is my house museic favourite music2, but bbom boom boom etc, big load og shot, then we had a big argue, he is an arseole, i think i will bust his face one day, and it serve him write.jphn

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 26 May 03 - 04:14 AM

jOhn to be stocious is to be completely blathered, or pissed as a fart. From your last two posts you could well have been stocious yourself but then again maybe you were on your way to being stocious. I think its a nice word and is very descriptive of the condition.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 26 May 03 - 09:37 AM

Stocious does it for me every time smallpliers, also "to have drink taken" is a favourite one of mine - having been/done both.

Anytime Karen, I loved doing it.

We shall be at the "Rose and Crown " Hornsea,Saturday night,with the lovely and talented Nikki on thow'ld fiddle.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 26 May 03 - 10:15 AM

Love stocious.'Blootered' is another good one or 'boiled as an owl'.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 26 May 03 - 12:52 PM

is nikki going to university this year? please ask her to stay, don't want her to leave us.... :(

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 26 May 03 - 01:05 PM

oh, and i know what 'rutting' means. dad told me.....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,KJ
Date: 26 May 03 - 01:37 PM

S'fire why on earth is a nice young lady like you interested in asphalt pavements; to quote 'The phenomenon that mixtures move to transverse direction is called rutting. Ruttings are generated at wheel path of carriageway in the cases of warmer climate areas, heavily trafficked roads, approaches to intersection, climbing lanes. Ruttings are generated not only at the mixtures of surface course but also at the mixtures of binder course. Therefore, when milling and overlay is planned, it is necessary to investigate the extent of rutting influence prior to decide the depth of milling'.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 26 May 03 - 02:46 PM

Hedon Road in Hull was very badly rutted - or well-rutted, depends on which way you look at it! I've never seen so much rutting as there was on Hedon Road.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 26 May 03 - 07:19 PM

No sweetfire I won't ask her to stay. She's going to Newcastle to study for a degree in Folk and Traditional Music and it will be the making of her. So we all have to let her go (no matter how hard that will be)

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 27 May 03 - 06:14 AM

Hear, hear, John. Though we shall miss the little bugger!

If anybody's interested we had an ace night on Sunday!! And my patio's nearly finished. I now swear like a trooper, sport sunburned shoulders and a builder's bum, have sprouted muscles and have an uncontrollable urge to wolf-whistle at passers by, no matter how ugly they are. Karen, I need help! What's your diagnosis, and is the prognosis good?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 27 May 03 - 09:44 AM

ok, so i have now come to the conclusion that there is more than one definition to the term 'rutting'. no im not saying what version of it i know, lets just say my dad told me it.
   i was just sayin KJ because your dear oakley was on about 'scented rutting goggles' many days ago.
   builders bum, oh god how awful!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 27 May 03 - 11:51 AM

Gives you somewhere to park your bike though!

Scented Rutting Goggles - that would be for your definition of rutting then!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 27 May 03 - 02:23 PM

Pete I fear you may have developed the exceedingly rare 'Patio Complex' (Patitious Complexio to use the more formal term).This generally occurs in males that are going through the male senna pod (or male menopause). During this period the male has conflicting emotions.He worries about the loss of his virility, wanting to shag everything that moves whilst at the same time is relieved he doesn't have to' (or can't in some cases) put too much effort into it any more. He lusts after tight jeans but is really quite happy with a pair of comfy flannel trousers. He wishes he could be dynamic & exciting but is quite content watching Coronation Street and drinking barley water and so on and so on. Of course he is most worried about developing fungal infections (see Oakley 2003). To sublimate these conflicting emotions he has to build a patio, a beatiful, well-ordered, spacious, clean patio. Whereupon he will place THINGS. He will go into the room where they keep the bright shiny things, the bright shiny sharp things.......oooops sorry getting sidetracked, where was I? Oh yes, the problem with patios is they are the mental equivalent to castration therefore to prove he isn't a castrati the male must do macho things like whistle at people, wear trousers that show off his manly bum cleavage, in fact all the things you've described Pete. The prognosis is good on the whole, you should grow out of it. But if you start building a conservatory I personally would be seriously worried.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 27 May 03 - 02:27 PM

To be serious now. We'll miss Nikki too but if she doesn't take her chance & go to the far flung north, the wider folk world will have missed a stunning performer.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 27 May 03 - 02:49 PM

You actually need the Scented Rutting Goggles to enter Rutting Mean Data onto your computer. They help to prevent eye strain and the calming aromatherapy scent helps to relax and soothe the nerves. Exactly what one needs when entering rutting mean data, I know I've done it!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 27 May 03 - 04:02 PM

KJ - too late he's already got a conservatory! Is there no hope for Deanie bhouy? Will a cure ever be found? I can't stand the tension!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 May 03 - 02:32 AM

I don't think this thread will reach the 300 mark!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 28 May 03 - 05:59 AM

I may be saved by the fact that I didn't actually build it myself, John? If I had, I fear it would no longer be standing! My prowess as a builder extraordinaire has only recently been honed.

Reckon the throbbing bike is another symptom of the senna pod, KJ? Perhaps I'm doomed after all....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 May 03 - 06:49 AM

No I recon there could be hope however.............. You havn't plugged your session on Sunday at the Sun Inn in Beverley starting at 2.00pm have you? Tut tut tut!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 28 May 03 - 10:32 AM

Oh, by the way, did mention that Punch the Horse will be appearing, in all their glory, at the Rose and Crown in Hornsea on Saturday night...? The delightfuly talented Nicola Williamson will be appearing, in person, to delight the aural senses of the good people of Holderness, fresh from her successful tour of Italy.

In addition, all are invited to play, sing, drink beer, and generally have fun at the Sun Inn this Sunday from 2pm till about 6 (ish) at my long standing first Sunday of the month session. I hope to see all the usual reprobates...! Skipjack, u out there?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 28 May 03 - 10:48 AM

Can I come? I did mention it earlier.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 28 May 03 - 11:04 AM

No. Thought we might do it on our own.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 28 May 03 - 11:12 AM

I have just returned from the Ribble.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,its only me
Date: 28 May 03 - 12:01 PM

did it hurt?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 May 03 - 12:40 PM

You people are a silly lot, aren't you?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 28 May 03 - 01:09 PM

Did you wear scented rutting googles whilst Ribbling or are there other accourtrements.

Incidentally are you aware that a Rutter was a Cavalry soldier, (especially German) sometimes refered to as a Gay Cavalier or a dashing gallant ..........is someones secret out of the bag at last.
Is Penelope a drag queen ??

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 28 May 03 - 01:10 PM

That should ensure 300

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 28 May 03 - 01:11 PM

My dear Pete I note the use of the word Throbbing! Anyone going to Goxhill tonight?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 28 May 03 - 01:25 PM

I only ask because CM & BW intimated they might be going last night & there's safety in numbers.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 28 May 03 - 01:28 PM

Yo Raggy. did you enjoy the rest of last Whitby weekend.Didn't we do sterling service on that Sat arternoon with Filey Bob?

Since Mr.Dean has informed me I am surplus to requirements I might go up again this weekend.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 28 May 03 - 01:46 PM

Saturday night as you know was a bit of a muddle, these thing happen. Like you indicated it was just too noisy with drinkers at the front of the room with limited space to boot.
After you decamped I went to the Black Horse and left some time and lots of Guinness later.
Sunday night with the Marske Fishermens Choir was wonderful, truly wonderful, they and The Endeavour Essemble made for great times.
Monday afternoon saw a prolonged solo performance by yours truly cos the booked artistes didn't materialise except for a brief (10 mins)by the Endeavour Shanty men who sang about 3 songs and hopped off!!
Charming.
Won't be there next weekend but after that it's Robin Hoods Bay, cracking little gathering

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 28 May 03 - 02:02 PM

Of course Maggie and I will attend Sunday's combined Session and Prizegiving.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Oaklet
Date: 28 May 03 - 03:02 PM

Goxhill tonight with resident familial accordion and fiddle combo. See you there.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 28 May 03 - 03:07 PM

Help!!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 May 03 - 05:10 PM

A Rutter is also an awld name for a collection of sea charts. They have an impressive collection in Hull Uni Library called Rutters of the German Sea. Yawn!

Oh please don't tell me they've made it to Goxhill again!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 28 May 03 - 09:07 PM

heloo, i will go as well on sunday if i wake up, i havent been for ages, i think i only ben twice since they mooved it from neillies.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 04:18 AM

The Gay Cavalier thing did't seem to take off, Raggy. Nice try though!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 04:42 AM

I think this sunday may see the first public airing of "My Enormous Penis", should anybody be interested.

There, that ought to do it, Raggy.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:12 AM

My dear Pete I really don't think airing an enormous penis is a good idea. Enormous peni flourish best when they are kept in dark moist conditions & given a regular mulching with added tackifier.Having reached the correct proportions the penis should then be maintained by rigorous pruning. Of course proper pruning techniques should be employed, many enormous peni have been weakened or deformed by incorrect pruning techniques.The skilled pruner first removes all dead, broken, diseased or problem areas by cutting them at the point of origin. Removal of this material opens the canopy sufficiently so that no further pruning is necessary.
Enormous peni can also be trained to develop the required shape but that is for another day. I repeat DO NOT AIR this wonderful organ it will only cause major damage & may result in irreversible withering!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:21 AM

PS. If aforementioned enormous penis is to be used for rutting purposes it must be strengthened by the judicious use of elastomeric polymer modified binders. Do you really think we'll reach 300?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:40 AM

No KJ you've got it wrong (well okay you've got it right but not in Pete's case). It's next years UK entry for the Eurovision song contest! Working along the lines that if Fr Ted and Fr Dougle can do it with "My Lovely Horse" then "My enormous penis" should be a wow right accross europe.

Sometimes the borer between this reality and other realities becomes just a little bit fuzzy especially in Pete's case and I'm not even going to mention Oakly!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:50 AM

Sadly I cannot contest this one, however I believe pruning should only be carried out by the gentle application of Molars Grips and incisors anyway. The type of pruning you describe KJ would lead to permanent damage

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 29 May 03 - 06:17 AM

You may be right Raggy, only the most delicate & precise instruments should be used for the pruning process & of course one has to be careful that one does not damage too many brain cells. Hormone rooting powder could be of use but Pete probably has too many hormones floating round his body anyway!
I must admit smallpiper I did take Petes announcement in it's literal sense. As a theme for a song it has its merits but I think it may well clash with the Yugoslavian female shot-putters chorus 'My Beautiful Moustache'. As for Oakley I think he is rather preoccupied with his plumbing. By the way Smallpiper the little problem at Goxhill was superbly handled by Greg who used diversionary techniques!!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 May 03 - 06:31 AM

What he took them outside and soundly thrashed them???????

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 29 May 03 - 07:03 AM

Oh Pete, are you absolutely sure it's ready for public scrutiny? Wouldn't it be best just to keep it between ourselves for a while longer?

You wouldn't want to risk public ridicule by premature exposure...

♥ Noreen

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 29 May 03 - 08:50 AM

I am sure that regular attendees of the Sunday Session have already experienced Maggie's Beautiful Muff!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 08:54 AM

Little problem at Goxhill.....?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:18 AM

Haven't we all sampled Maggies Beautiful muff? I know I have and jolly good is was too!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:19 AM

Pete ........that might make 350 !!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:55 AM

And who's gonna be the winner for a second spot prize on Sunday....?

I believe I have been treated to the Muff myself, but as I'm usually a bit tiddly at Sessions, I suspect I wouldn't have appreciated it fully. Perhaps Maggie may treat me to a repeat on Sunday? I shall stay sober in order to keep My Enormous Penis in good order.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 09:57 AM

Looking back on this, it's a good job I know what we're on about. This is starting to look pornographic!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:13 AM

...well when ever i am this site my mum always wonders why i close the door...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:30 AM

My Mum wonders that too and I'm forty e...........................!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:31 AM

Here you go 300 it is

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 29 May 03 - 10:35 AM

Incidently pete...is this twin the good one or the bad one outta the family? Cos i don't think beverly could handle a naughtier version of you....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 29 May 03 - 11:20 AM

And Raggy takes the prize!!!! But as he's not here on Sunday (are ya?) he'll have to wait till Festival for it.

And S'fire, don't tell me you've met him already...???

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 29 May 03 - 12:22 PM

well, it was dark...

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 29 May 03 - 12:26 PM

A mutual friend directed me to this forum and suggested that I read this thread. Well, I plowed my way through a fair bit of it. All I can say is you people are seriously in need of something to do. I suggest raising horses. For God's sake GET A LIFE before it's too late!!!

And check out my TekWar series. It's great. So is my recent autobiography...it's called "Get A Life". Like I said...

Your friend,

Bill Shatner

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 29 May 03 - 12:33 PM

Well actually Bill, i already do 'raise' horses.....so now what do you suggest i do...???

I know there is a festival in Beverly at the end of this month, but is there something happening in Bev in June? If so what?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,William Shatner
Date: 29 May 03 - 12:43 PM

You're on the right track, Sweetfire. Interesting name. Do you submit photos? Maybe we could get together and compare notes on equine breeding. I'll see what's coming up on my itinerary for next year in the UK. Ah well, off to the back porch. There's a steak I have to attend to...

Bill

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Les from Hull
Date: 29 May 03 - 04:34 PM

We don't need no steenking horse raisers. All the 'osses round here are high enough already, thanks to Oakley's Patent Horse Elevators, available in quantity at your local discount hardware store. Some people misleading call them bricks.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:41 PM

Dear Bill
Our darling little Sweetfire is under age so I would be very very very carefull of being suggestive in any way, shape or form. Tend to your steak and be quiet.

Darling Sweetfire

There is Pete the Deanies session on sunday and after that I'm sure Roger is having a sesh before the Beverley Fringe Festival kicks off (of which the Beverley and East yorks festival is mearly a side how). Ho Hum.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 May 03 - 05:46 PM

Hello SM the forum Lurker - I really enjoyed your company today and so did KJ. I hope that we may meet again after your time in the Roman provence
xx

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 30 May 03 - 02:20 AM

Hi Bill Shatner I liked the one with the tribbles. Now tribble raising would be more interesting than horse-raising. By the way I have got a life in fact several lives & enjoy each one to the full.....so there.Pete I don't think this prize-giving for No.300 is fair 'cos you have to be at your computer waiting for 299 instead of carousing the afternoon away like smallpiper, my darling husband & us! did yesterday. By the way did you know that the last bus back to Barton on a weekday is 21.25!!! Had a great laugh SP, must do it again.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 30 May 03 - 05:29 AM

What is a 'Fringe' festival?

Thankyou for that Smallpiper...i wasn't too sure on what the nicest way to say what i wanted was... SP AND KJ are you attending deanies sess. on sun? I will be sat in the corner equiped with a revision guide!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 May 03 - 05:43 AM

This is getting silly....reckon it's time for the June edition...?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: smallpiper
Date: 30 May 03 - 06:33 AM

Fringe Festival = unofficial and usually free bit.

I may be attending the Bhouys session (probably but the sky might fall on my head - you never know!)

Please Note Bhouys and Girls of Punch The Horse we (K & C and me) were in Durty Nellies for most of yesterday quaffing and otherwise enjoying worsels, and were you aware that the said pub play a lot of your music (every other track in fact) are you getting royalties??????

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 May 03 - 06:59 AM

I was in there last week at lunchtime when a particularly awful rendition of The Fields of Athenry came on. I cringed at Chris, the gaffer, and he smiled back and confirmed that this was indeed Punch The Horse! Oh well....

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 30 May 03 - 08:33 AM

i have an sunburnt belly,and it looks really ridiulous, jst thort i would tell ya!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 May 03 - 09:37 AM

Anyone having a bet today? I reckon Mr Dettori will win the 3.15 at Newmarket on Barolo.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: sweetfire
Date: 30 May 03 - 10:04 AM

I want to be his wife!!!

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 May 03 - 11:05 AM

Who? Frankie?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Noreen
Date: 30 May 03 - 11:25 AM

Did he win?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: ossonflags
Date: 30 May 03 - 11:45 AM

Lord bless us and save us Axeman!!!!!

This thread has put more years on me than I care to mention, what with all this swanking and posing about the size of your hampton.

Now you have the temerity to tell me (and the world) that you do not recognise your own guitar playing? And Horror of Horrors!! the voice -awful rendition or no- of the coooooooooooooolist singer around,the fellow you have accompanied for nearly five years!!!!!!

You should have been drubbing the royallties out of the man,not raising your eyebrows at my performance!!

For the love of Arthur,get a grip man!!!.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 May 03 - 12:06 PM

Who is Arthur?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 30 May 03 - 02:00 PM

where is he?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 May 03 - 04:27 PM

And why?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: Banjo-Flower
Date: 30 May 03 - 05:57 PM

is that Arthur Mo,Arthur Crown or Arthur Nower?

Gerry

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 30 May 03 - 06:55 PM

No.

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 31 May 03 - 06:50 AM

Yo,Raggy.

I will be going to the bay next Friday -teatime ish - meet up with you for sume bear and song mayhap? Only staying the one night, alas.

What hostelry wil you be gracing with your presence?

Subject: RE: Punch the Horse May Thread
From: KJ
Date: 31 May 03 - 09:05 AM

S'fire. Stop getting sunburnt on your belly! It's not good for you at all you know. You'll end up with a withered & wrinkly belly while the rest of you is still young & vibrant.Oh & never have any kids either 'cos they have the same effect.
I have just been sent home from work 'cos I have a poorly knee, my knees have always looked poorly which is why no-one ever sees them, but this knee feels poorly & I'm wandering about like some arthritic duck. But this unfortunate occurence means that we shall be attending the Sun sess on sun. SP do you want a lift? We will be going early though 'cos we want to eat prior to the proceedings. PTH we thoroughly enjoyed! hearing you in Nellies on Thurs, we also thoroughly enjoyed SP's company, lots of bear9hoi (is that right?) & lots of vodka. They sell Black Death in Durty Nellies, good innit!!