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Lyr Req: That Old Tattooed Lady

DigiTrad:
LYDIA, THE TATTOOED LADY
ONLY SEVENTEEN


Related threads:
Lyr Req: Tattooed Lady (36)
Lydia the Tatooed Lady-info (21)
Tune Req: Lydia, The Tattooed Lady (12)
Lyr Req: Lydia, the Tattooed Lady (62)
Lyr/Tune/Chords Req: Lydia the Tattooed Lady (12)
Sorta BS: Tattoos & Piercings (142) (closed)
Lyr/Chords Req: Tattooed Lady (14)


GUEST,Caney-Creek 11 Jul 00 - 01:44 AM
katlaughing 11 Jul 00 - 04:10 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 11 Jul 00 - 05:56 AM
Joe Offer 11 Jul 00 - 01:22 PM
GUEST 11 Jul 00 - 11:38 PM
Joe Offer 12 Jul 00 - 03:56 AM
GUEST,Roger the skiffler 12 Jul 00 - 05:24 AM
Fortunato 12 Jul 00 - 10:43 AM
GUEST,Mrr 12 Jul 00 - 11:52 AM
Don Firth 21 Feb 01 - 02:00 PM
GUEST,Roll&Go-C 21 Feb 01 - 02:49 PM
GUEST,Roll&Go-c 21 Feb 01 - 04:23 PM
Snuffy 21 Feb 01 - 07:06 PM
GUEST,CBJames 21 Feb 01 - 11:23 PM
katlaughing 21 Feb 01 - 11:28 PM
Charley Noble 02 Mar 03 - 08:53 PM
Nigel Parsons 02 Mar 03 - 09:13 PM
GUEST,Q 02 Mar 03 - 09:23 PM
GUEST,Q 02 Mar 03 - 09:43 PM
Charley Noble 03 Mar 03 - 08:30 AM
Gurney 06 Mar 03 - 04:10 AM
GUEST,Bystander 06 Mar 03 - 07:07 AM
GUEST,Woody Thomas 03 Feb 08 - 09:16 PM
GUEST,EDH Band, Eric P. 29 Aug 09 - 02:18 PM
Jack Campin 29 Aug 09 - 02:49 PM
Charley Noble 29 Aug 09 - 04:46 PM
dick greenhaus 29 Aug 09 - 05:32 PM
Gurney 29 Aug 09 - 10:56 PM
GUEST 21 Jul 10 - 11:19 AM
SINSULL 21 Jul 10 - 11:37 AM
SINSULL 21 Jul 10 - 11:38 AM
dick greenhaus 24 Jul 10 - 11:32 AM
GUEST,Scott 03 Oct 10 - 11:31 PM
voyager 04 Oct 10 - 03:04 PM
Jim Dixon 06 Oct 10 - 10:19 AM
Jim Dixon 06 Oct 10 - 12:07 PM
Jim Dixon 06 Oct 10 - 02:58 PM
GUEST,Smokey Miles 14 Dec 10 - 01:37 PM
GUEST 14 Dec 10 - 03:49 PM
Charley Noble 15 Dec 10 - 09:04 AM
GUEST 04 Jan 11 - 05:26 AM
Jim Dixon 05 Jan 11 - 03:10 PM
GUEST,Chris Lavis 19 Feb 22 - 08:31 AM
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Subject: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Caney-Creek
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 01:44 AM

I am looking for the lyrics, or even the correct name, of an Australian song about a tattooed lady (no, it's not Lydia). I believe an American folk group recorded it last in the early 1960s. Any ideas? Thanks.

Click for related thread


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE TATTOOED LADY (from Kingston Trio)
From: katlaughing
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 04:10 AM

I think this must be the one you are looking for. My sisters and I have sung it for years. Most recently, I've done it solo in the virtual song circles we have here, at the Mudcat. Just look for any "HeaarMe" thread and you will see what I am talking about. If you'd like to join in, just ask; one of us will be happy to help you. Also, if you need the tune for this, let me know. KNowing my oldest sister, who still teaches the music, I would suspect it was the Kingston Trio that did this one in teh 60's.

THE TATTOOED LADY

We went to town to see
That old tattooed lady
She was a sight to see
Tattooed from head to knee.

My Uncle Ned was there
He came to gape and stare
I never he declared
Seen such a freak so fair.

And on her jaw was the Royal Flying Corp.
And on her back was the Union Jack
Now could you ask for more?

All up and down her spine
Was the Queen's own Guard in line
While all around her hips
Sailed a fleet of battleships

And over her left kidney
Was a bird's eye view of Sydney
But what we liked best
Was upon her chest,
A little home in Wai-ki-ki.

(Spoken) What did you say? (Repeat)

Welcome to the Mudcat Cafe,

katlaughing


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 05:56 AM

Yes, definitely the Kingston Trio,kat, probably originally someone like Ukulele Ike? Possibly more recently by Leon Redbone? (sorry, having a few "senior moments" here, I'm at work, my records are at home!).
RtS


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Subject: RE: The Tattooed Lady
From: Joe Offer
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 01:22 PM

My Kingston Trio songbook says "The Tattooed Lady" was written by Jack Splittard, ©1959, Highridge Music Co. The lyrics Kat typed are almost exactly the same as in my songbook. I'd say the tune is more-or-less the same as "Ta-Ra-Ra-Boom-Di-Ay."
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST
Date: 11 Jul 00 - 11:38 PM

Does anyone have the lyrics to

SKEETS McDONALD's version of TATTOOED LADY?

It is TOTALLY different than any I have seen posted!


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Joe Offer
Date: 12 Jul 00 - 03:56 AM

Hi, Guest - I know about Lydia, the Tattooed Lady (click), who appeared to be a friend of Burl Ives. Don't know of any who associated with Skeets McDonald. Can you tell us what you remember of the lyrics?
-Joe Offer-


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 12 Jul 00 - 05:24 AM

I think the Ukulele Ike song I was thinking of was the Lydia one Joe mentioned,not the KT3 one.
RtS


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Fortunato
Date: 12 Jul 00 - 10:43 AM

"But she tatooed my poor face, in a most peculiar place, now whenever she sits down she sits on me, Oh yes, whenever she sits down she sits on me."

(hee hee) Fortunato


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Mrr
Date: 12 Jul 00 - 11:52 AM

For the tenth time, dear Daphnis, said Chloe / You have told me my bosom is snowy / You have written fine verse on / Each part of my person / Now DO something! There's a good bo-y!


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Don Firth
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 02:00 PM

kat, Mudcat serendipity strikes again!

I remember Walt Robertson singing a thing called The Scotch Tattooed Lady, which starts out

I paid a bob to see
A Scotch tattooed lad-ee
She was a sight to see
Tattooed from head to knee

and winds up with

. . . But what I like best
Was right across her chest:
My home in Tennessee!

Obviously the same song, with "folk processed" differences. Walt had a couple more verses, detailing illustrations on other portions of the lady's anatomy, but I can't call them to mind right now. What you posted above may give me enough to reconstruct the way Walt sang it. This was one of many songs I wanted, but never got around to swiping from him. I suspect that some of the others might be floating around out there, too!

Thank you!

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-C
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 02:49 PM

Anyone know how to join these two threads?


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Subject: Lyr/Chords Add: TATTOOED LADY (from Rudy Vallee)
From: GUEST,Roll&Go-c
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 04:23 PM

Here's the Rudy Vallee "Tattooed Lady" song as remembered by my mother from an old record in the 1940s; sorry, I don't do tunes:

(C)Oh, I have a very sad (G)tale to relate,
'Tis the harrowing tale (G7)of a (C)man and his mate,
A story of pas-(C7)sion, of (F)love and of hate,
Of (C)virtue cor-(G)rupted by (C)vice;
(C)Mother Eve in the Garden of Eden (of Eden)
Met a serpent the same as this (G)lass,
And she too (Am)might have turned from temptation
Except for that horrible snake in the (G)grass – (G7)Oh!

Chorus:

(C)Shame on the man that pur-sued (G)her,
That (G7)villain who viciously wooed (C)her;
She fell in a (c7)faint, he (F)pulled out his paint,
And the (G)next thing she knew he tat-(G7)tooed (C)her!

Her downfall began as an innocent thing,
Her husband went off to go fishing one spring,
So she and her girlfriends went off on a fling,
They all went to bathe at the beach;
When this artist came up with his paint pot (paint pot),
And started to toy with her calf,
She allowed him to tinker, he painted a fiend
Who was sawing a women in half – Oh (CHO)

This girl wasn't bright and the fellow was smart,
And now that he'd made such a favorable start,
He let her believe she was helping his art,
They met every day at the beach;
Never once did she think that he loved her (loved her)
Nor think that he'd do her some harm,
Till the day he tattooed in red, white and blue,
"I Love You!" on her arm – Oh (CHO)

Her husband returned and the moment they kissed,
His eyes read the writing from elbow to wrist,
He foamed at the month and in fury he hissed,
His rage drove him utterly nuts;
She was hurt by his attitude deeply (deeply)
And hysterically started to laugh (ha, ha, haaaah)
Then she rolled up her stocking and showed him the fiend
Who was sawing a woman in half – Oh (CHO)

He threw her out in the wind and the rain,
Saying, "Never dampen my bath mat again!"
Now she gets tattooed whenever she can,
She works in the circus for pay;
And her fair epidermis is painted (painted)
With pictures of sailors and such,
And if you have a needle, you too can tattoo
On the skin that they all love to touch– Oh (CHO)

Enjoy!


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Snuffy
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 07:06 PM

The last verse of RAWTENSTALL ANNUAL FAIR in th DT is also about a tattooed lady


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,CBJames
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 11:23 PM

Oh My What a Fair Rendering!

Long (Long? years!) ago I discussed this topic with my friend Lash. He assured me there were in fact Three (count 'em) Tattooed Lady songs - including the one of Kingston Trio fame (and upon her back was a Union Jack), the one Kermit the Frog made famous ("Lydia, Lydia, Have you seen Lydia? - I thought he said Porter wrote it but I am delighted to discover it's a Yip Harburg lyric) and then there was the third he mentioned -

"What was that? " I codgered for the longest time. Since Lash & I only get together about once a decade (& I'd forgotten to ask at the last time) I was flummoxed. But I figure it must have been the Rudy Vallee (sp?) version.

And now we learn there are more! Saints preserve us!

I could use a little home in Waikiki right about now, the snow is growing.

cbjas


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Feb 01 - 11:28 PM

Roll&GoC, which two threads do you mean? Sorry...

Don! That is too kewl about Walt and you now finding it here! I'll bet you'll find more as things go on. Thanks to wdyat12 for asking in the other (OH! you mean THAT one, ROoll&GoC?) thread. **BG**

kat


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE TATTOOED LADY (from Rudy Vallee)
From: Charley Noble
Date: 02 Mar 03 - 08:53 PM

Think I'll post the Rudy Vallee version in again to get the chords in correctly (copy and paste into Word/Times/12):


THE TATTOOED LADY

(Sung by Rudy Vallee in the 1940's as recalled by Dahlov Ipcar, 1977
Key: D (C/2))

C----------------------G
Oh, I have a very sad tale to relate,
----------------------G7-------C
'Tis the harrowing tale of a man and his mate,
------------C7---------F
A story of passion, of love and of hate,
--C----------G----------C
Of virtue cor-rupted by vice;
C
Mother Eve in the Garden of Eden (of Eden)
-----------------------------------G
Met a serpent the same as this lass,
----------Am
And she too might have turned from temptation
------------------C-----------------------G------G7
Except for that horrible snake in the grass – Oh!

Chorus:

C-------------------------------G
Shame on the man that pur-sued her,
-----G7----------------------C
That villain who viciously wooed her;
--------------C7-------F
She fell in a faint, he pulled out his paint,
--------G----------------G7----------C
And the next thing she knew he tat-tooed her!


Her downfall began as an innocent thing,
Her husband went off to go fishing one spring,
So she and her girlfriends went off on a fling,
They all went to bathe at the beach;
When this artist came up with his paint pot (paint pot),
And started to toy with her calf,
She allowed him to tinker, he painted a fiend
Who was sawing a women in half – (CHO)

This girl wasn't bright and the fellow was smart,
And now that he'd made such a favorable start,
He let her believe she was helping his art,
They met every day at the beach;
Never once did she think that he loved her (loved her)
Nor think that he'd do her some harm,
Till the day he tattooed in red, white and blue,
"I Love You!" on her arm – (CHO)

Her husband returned and the moment they kissed,
His eyes read the writing from elbow to wrist,
He foamed at the month and in fury he hissed,
His rage drove him utterly nuts;
She was hurt by his attitude deeply (deeply)
And hysterically started to laugh (ha, ha, haaaah)
Then she rolled up her stocking and showed him the fiend
Who was sawing a woman in half – (CHO)

He threw her out in the wind and the rain,
Saying, "Never dampen my bath mat again!"
Now she gets tattooed whenever she can,
She works in the circus for pay;
And her fair epidermis is painted (painted)
With pictures of sailors and such,
And if you have a needle, you too can tattoo
On the skin that they all love to touch– (CHO)

Cheerily,
Charley Noble, formerly known as Guest Roll & Go-C


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE TATTOOED LADY (Paddy Roberts)
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 02 Mar 03 - 09:13 PM

Not previously marked as 'Harvested', so I'll re-post it here. The version recorded by Paddy Roberts.

THE TATTOOED LADY
PADDY ROBERTS

Well I was a bit of a lad I admit,
My past was a trifle shady.
Until in the end I went right round the bend
And married a tattooed lady.
I immediately saw there were pictures galore,
On ev'ry available corner
As I studied her frame, very soon I became
An expert in flora and fauna
On one of her feet, you were liable to meet
A Master of Hounds in his habit.
While right round her waist, in impeccable taste,
Was a python devouring a rabbit.
On the back of each knee was a small chimpanzee,
On her thigh was a Knight of The Garter
And just for a laugh they had put on her calf
Eight bars of the Moonlight Sonata

One evening I found as I ambled around
I was feeling an absolute Charlie
'Cos I couldn't be sure if the sketch on her jaw
Was Picasso or Salvador Dali
I loved all the ships on one side of her hips
The view in Peru on the other.
But I was struck dumb when I found on her tum
A caricature of her mother
Well this was much more than a man can endure,
Though I made the most earnest endeavour.
So I scuttled away, and I'm happy to say
It was Ta ta tattoo for ever,
Ta ta tattoo for ever,
Ta ta tattoo (2 bar run) for ever

Paddy Roberts' "Tattooed Lady" (from memory)
cf. Groucho Marx "Lydia the Tattooed Lady"

NP


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Q
Date: 02 Mar 03 - 09:23 PM

Please! Rudy Vallee!


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Q
Date: 02 Mar 03 - 09:43 PM

Someone called Charley Noble posted a Rudy Vallee version in thread 6928, back in two thousand and ought one: Tattooed Lady-Vallee


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Charley Noble
Date: 03 Mar 03 - 08:30 AM

Never too many posting of such songs! BG

And, yes, I'll correct Rudy's last name in my database. Thanks!

I do like the Paddy Roberts version as well. Be nice to hear it sung.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Gurney
Date: 06 Mar 03 - 04:10 AM

Charlie, If you can't get it anywhere else, I'll try to fileshare at some time in the future, when I learn how!
It is on 'Paddy Roberts Tries Again' 1960. Decca LK 4358. Good record, but a child of it's time musically.
He is/was more nightclub than folkclub.
The first song I ever sang in public was his 'The Belle of Barking Creek' also on the LP.


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Bystander
Date: 06 Mar 03 - 07:07 AM

A Royal Navy version of 'The Tattooed Lady' c.1960 goes

I went to gay par-ee'
And paid five francs to see
A bloody great French cherie
Tattooed from head to knee
And on her lower jaw
Was a British man-o-war
And across her back was a union jack
so I paid five francs more
to see her lilly white tits
And a map of the rising sun (up her bum)
And all along her spine
Were the andrew crew in line
And tattooed on her fanny
Was Al Jolson - singing mammy
But I love her
Yes I love her
That bloody great French cherie


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Subject: RE:That Old Tattooed Lady, aka Scotch Tattoed Lady
From: GUEST,Woody Thomas
Date: 03 Feb 08 - 09:16 PM

On 21 Feb 01, Don Firth wrote:

I remember Walt Robertson singing a thing called The Scotch Tattooed Lady, which starts out

I paid a bob to see
A Scotch tattooed lad-ee
She was a sight to see
Tattooed from head to knee

and winds up with

. . . But what I like best
Was right across her chest:
My home in Tennessee!


I have a recording of this song sung by Walt Robertson at a Swarthmore College folk festival in the late 1940s. It has three verses, but unfortunately, Walt bobbled a line in the third verse, and I have been trying to find the lyrics off and on for a number of years to learn what the word he messed up is upposed to be.

The line with the lost word runs,
"She was good to see
You can take it from me,
Both for like? minds and for _______s."

The last word is slurred or mumbled or something. I think he forgot what he was supposed to sing at that moment. I'm not sure that the questioned word was "like" -- it might have been "light" or something else.

The first verse might have gone something like this (many of the lines are interchangeable from one verse to another):

"I gave (or paid) a bob to see
A Scotch tattooed la-dee.
She was a sight to see,
Tottooed from head to knee.
And all that she wore
Was the flag of Singapore,
While around her thighs
Hung the Bridge of Sighs,
Neath the Royal Flying Corps.
And runnin round her neck
Was a bobby or two, by heck,
And painted on her nose
Was two big Hindu toes,
And over her liver
Was a bottle of Green River,
But what I liked best,
Right across her chest
Was my home in Tennessee.

The second verse, as Walt sang it, began,
"I'd give 10 pounds to see
Once more that Scotch la-dee.
Tattooed from head to knee,
She was a sight to see."

The third verse began,
"Now wouldn't you like to see
That Scotch tattoed la-dee.
She was a sight to see,
Tattooed from head to knee."

The other two penultimate lines are
"Over her tummy was an old Egyptiam mummy."
and
"Over her kidney was a birdeseye view of Sydney."

I found this site in one more attempt to solve the problem of the missing word, but so far no success.

If anyone has an answer, I can be reached at Merriwood@aol.com


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,EDH Band, Eric P.
Date: 29 Aug 09 - 02:18 PM

Several of these lyrics are close to the way we sang THE SCOTCH TATOOED LADY in the late 1940s at U.C. Berleley. Note the time. this was in the late 1940s. We sang:

I'd give a bob to see, the Scotch Tatooed lady. She's covered from head to knee and quite a sight to see. Right up and down her spine is the King's own guardian line and right across her hips is a fleet of battle ships. Right over her kidney is a birds eye view of Sidney, but what I like best, right across her chest is my home in Tennessee. (alternately...."are the hills of Tennessee.")


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Aug 09 - 02:49 PM

No songs about Scottish women with piercings?

Elaine Davidson

I saw her a couple of weeks ago and she's added a lot more to her collection.


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Charley Noble
Date: 29 Aug 09 - 04:46 PM

EDH-

"King's own guardian line" seems folk-processed from "King's Horse Guard in line."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 29 Aug 09 - 05:32 PM

almost a half-century from the Sixties, isn't time someone wrote a song about the old hippie whose tattoos were fading away?


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Gurney
Date: 29 Aug 09 - 10:56 PM

The Rudy Vallee song is on 'The World of Peter Skellern' CD.


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST
Date: 21 Jul 10 - 11:19 AM

Here is the Skeets McDonald lyrics (My father has sung this song to me for over 45 years!) Catchy little tune....

Once I married a tattooed lady
Twas on one dark and windy day
And tattooed all around her body
Was a map of the good ol' USA
And every night before I'd go to sleep
I'd jerk back the covers and I'd take a peek:
(whatya see Skeet?) {spoken}
Upon her leg was Minnesota,
On her knee was Tennessee,
And tattooed on her back
Was good old Rackensack
The place where I long to be.
And on her (wolf whistle) was West Virginia
Those hills I love to roam;
But when I saw the moonlight on her Mississippi
That's when I recognized my home sweet home.


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Jul 10 - 11:37 AM

Lydia, Lydia
That encyclopedia.
Lydia, the tattooed lady...

Groucho Marx, not sure who wrote it.


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Subject: Lyr Add: LYDIA THE TATTOOED LADY (Harburg/Arlen)
From: SINSULL
Date: 21 Jul 10 - 11:38 AM

Lyrics to "Lydia, the Tattooed Lady"
Music by Harold Arlen and Lyrics by E.Y. Harburg
Hear a clip of Virginia Weidler singing this song (a 267KB .WAV file).

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia The Tattooed Lady.
She has eyes that folks adore so,
and a torso even more so.
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia The Queen of Tattoo.
On her back is The Battle of Waterloo.
Beside it, The Wreck of the Hesperus too.
And proudly above waves the red, white, and blue.
You can learn a lot from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

When her robe is unfurled she will show you the world,
if you step up and tell her where.
For a dime you can see Kankakee or Paree,
or Washington crossing The Delaware.

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

Oh Lydia, oh Lydia, say, have you met Lydia?
Lydia The Tattooed Lady.
When her muscles start relaxin',
up the hill comes Andrew Jackson.
Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia The Queen of them all.
For two bits she will do a mazurka in jazz,
with a view of Niagara that nobody has.
And on a clear day you can see Alcatraz.
You can learn a lot from Lydia!

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

Come along and see Buffalo Bill with his lasso.
Just a little classic by Mendel Picasso.
Here is Captain Spaulding exploring the Amazon.
Here's Godiva, but with her pajamas on.

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

Here is Grover Whelan unveilin' The Trilon.
Over on the west coast we have Treasure Isle-on.
Here's Nijinsky a-doin' the rhumba.
Here's her social security numba.

La-la-la...la-la-la.
La-la-la...la-la-la.

Lydia, oh Lydia, that encyclo-pidia.
Oh Lydia The Champ of them all.
She once swept an Admiral clear off his feet.
The ships on her hips made his heart skip a beat.
And now the old boy's in command of the fleet,
for he went and married Lydia!

I said Lydia...
(He said Lydia...)
They said Lydia...
We said Lydia, la, la!


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: dick greenhaus
Date: 24 Jul 10 - 11:32 AM

On her back she has tattooed a map of Ireland
And when she takes a bath on Saturday
She rubs the Sunshine soap across Killarney
Just to see the suds run down past Galway Bay


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Scott
Date: 03 Oct 10 - 11:31 PM

A charming version of Tattooed Lady was performed at the Living Room theatre restaurant in Brisbane Australia somewhere in the '70s, to the tune of "Around the World" - concluding with "between her thighs was Surfers Paradise and that is where I long to be". Wish I knew all of it.


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Subject: RE: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: voyager
Date: 04 Oct 10 - 03:04 PM

Another gem from Yip Harburg (who gets my vote for the #1 20th Century Songwriter - of which there are dozens)! BTW - didn't Flatt & Scruggs deliver a rendition of this tune?

voyager


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Subject: Lyr Add: THE TATTOOED LADY (Skeets McDonald)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 10:19 AM

You can hear this version at YouTube:


THE TATTOOED LADY
(McDonald)
Johnny White and his Rhythm Riders with Skeets McDonald

VERSE: Once I married a tattooed lady. (Well, tell me 'bout 'er, Skeets!)
It was on a cold and winter day,
And tattooed all around her body, (What was that?)
Was the map of the good ol' USA;
And ev'ry night before I'd go to sleep, (Wha'dja do?)
I'd jerk down the quilt and I'd take a peep.

SPOKEN: Good gracious alive!

CHORUS: Upon her leg was Minnesota,
On her shoulder, Tennessee,
And tattooed on her back
Was good old Rackensack*,
The place where I long to be.
Upon her [WOLF WHISTLE] was West Virginny.
Through them hills I just love to roam;
But when the moon begin to shine down on her Wabash,
That's when I recognized my Indiana home.

REPEAT CHORUS.


[* He pronounces it "Rackumsack." Rackensack is an old name for Arkansas.]


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Subject: Lyr Add: SHE SITS ON ME / TATTOOED LADY
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 12:07 PM

You can hear this version at YouTube:

SHE SITS ON ME a.k.a. TATTOOED LADY
As sung by Mighty Sparrow

INTRO: Now listen to my story, boys. I need your sympathy.
The big fat tattooed gal in the circus, she fell in love with me,
And to prove her love was sweet as sugarcane toddy,
She had my picture tattooed on her body.

1. She had the landing of the Pilgrims on her shoulder,
And on her back she had the sunset of the west,
And right beside her bowlegged knees,
Two apple trees,
While the pyramids look lovely on her chest.

2. When she decided that she'd like to add my picture,
She simply couldn't find a vacant spot, you see.
So she tattooed my poor face
In the most peculiar place,
And now whenever she sits down, she sits down on me.

[Note: Mighty Sparrow doesn't sing verses 3 and 4 in the video, but they are found many places online.]

3. She has a small gardenia tattooed on her elbow,
And on her hips she has the lovely Queen of May,
And right beneath her shapely spine,
If you saw that, pal of mine,
You would see the famous road to Mandalay.

4. She has a rusty hinge that's tattooed on her kneecap.
It looks so real it squeaks each time she bends her knee,
But she filled me with disgrace
When she tattooed my poor face,
And now whenever she sits down, she sits on me.

5. Do you wonder why I look so sad and worried?
Do you wonder why I'm feeling mighty low?
I would like to take a chance,
And give her one swift kick in the pants,
But if I do I'll only kick myself, I know.

6. The only time that anyone can see my picture
Is when the tattooed lady takes a bath, oh gee!
I get black and blue of course,
Anytime she rides a horse,
For whenever she sits down she sits on me.
Whenever she sits down she sits down on me.


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Subject: Lyr Add: TATTOOED LADY (Smokey Miles)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 06 Oct 10 - 02:58 PM

Here's a mediocre video of an excellent song sung by "Smokey Miles from Luckenbach, Texas." I tried looking up more information about this singer, but it got confusing; I think there might be more than one performer named Smokey (or Smoky) Miles. Does anybody know of him?

Also notice that there are several gaps in my transcription, including a very annoying one in the chorus. I would appreciate any help fixing these.


TATTOOED LADY

1. I met a girl in New Orleans;
  she was waitin' on tables there.
I told her that I loved her smile
  and her pretty head o' hair.

2. She invited me back to her place
  and who could ask for more?
She said, "You're gonna see somethin', friend,
  you ain't never seen before."

3. We went up to her apartment.
  She kicked off her platform shoes,
Said, "Come on, honey. Sit by my side
  'n' I'll show you my tattoos."

4. She had battleships upon her hips,
  anchors on her thighs
The seventh fleet was on her feet,
  wearin' red bowties.

5. She had tattooed eggs upon her legs,
  trees upon her knees,
Colored lakes(?) and rattlesnakes
  and even bumblebees.

6. She had the merchant marine on the side of her spleen,
  mom and dad on her right arm.
On her chest right above her breast
  was a picture of the family farm.

CHORUS: My tattooed lady, she's so fine.
Tattooed lady, gonna make her mine.
Tattooed lady, she' a real museum.
... all the boys just to see 'em

7. I told her I liked what I saw,
  I mean, I really dig the view.
You know finally she said out loud
  "I'm the queen of the rose tattoo."

8. She grabbed a needle and a bottle o' ink
  and gave me a little smile.
I jumped up apprehensively.
  I said, "Honey, that ain't my style."

9. She laughed and grinned. "This ain't for you.
  I don't have that in mind.
How'd you like to make a motorbike
  on the bottom of my behind?"

10. She had a strange insect(?) just below her neck,
  four crabs on her calves,
Two chandeliers behind her ears,
  and a light bulb just for laughs.

11. She had the moon and the sun just for fun
  under each of her armpits,
And the Dodger scores from ninety-four,
  in errors, runs, and hits.

12. She had a dog and a cat on the small of her back
  with a jumbo jet airplane,
And to remind her, was her favorite diner
  and an old-time railroad train.

CHORUS

13. ... when she was a girl,
  she had a very interesting life.
She'd been around the world forty times or more.
  She never made no man a wife.

14. She don't go to movies or buy fancy clothes;
  ain't concerned with her own health.
All she wants to do is show her tattoos
  and paint pictures on herself.

15. She had the sign of the cross and a big ol' hoss
  'tween her first and second ribs,
A clenched fist on her left wrist;
  on her right, a Star of David.

16. She had a cowboy hat and a Siamese cat
  in the crook of each of her knees.
On one elbow was a garden hoe,
  and on the other was a set of keys.

17. She had country singers on each of her fingers,
  billiard balls on her knuckles,
An ... on the back of her heel;
  On her waist was ... buckle.

CHORUS

18. There was a map of the world on the rump of that girl,
  made by an expert painter.
And through the night from this dazzlin' sight,
  her vision was growin' plainer.

19. She pointed to her face, the last virgin place,
  said, "It's time to begin."
Scratched a lobster on her jaw, said there should be more(?),
  put a red rose on her chin

20. She had a fleur-de-lis on her right knee,
  little babies 'tween her toes,
A county jail and a waterin' pail
  to make sure her garden grows.

21. She had some tuna fish next to ...
  twin angels on her toes.
In one ear was a bottle o' beer,
  an' in the other was a Tootsie-Roll.

22. ... back of her neck,
  Marlon Brando 'bove her heart,
James Dean, Martin Sheen, and Mister Clean
  and a naked cupid with a bow and a dart.

CHORUS


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Subject: Lyr Add: TATTOOED LADY (Smokey Miles)
From: GUEST,Smokey Miles
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 01:37 PM

You did an excellent job of catching the words, with a few minor glitches, so here's my lyric sheet.

I've been doing the song since the 70's and get many requests for it, but I've never actually released it. Some people say it's their favorite song.


TATTOOED LADY
(Words & Music by Smokey Miles)

I met a girl in New Orleans. She was waiting on tables there.
I told her that I loved her smile and her pretty head of hair.
She invited me back to her place and who could ask for more?
She said, "You're gonna see something, friend, you ain't never seen before!"
We went up to her apartment. She kicked off her platform shoes
Said, "Come on, honey. Sit by my side and I'll show you my tattoos!"

She had battleships upon her hips, anchors on her thighs.
The Seventh Fleet was on her feet wearing red bowties.
She had tattooed eggs upon her legs, trees upon her knees,
Colored lakes and rattlesnakes and even bumblebees.
She had the merchant marine on the site of her spleen, Mom and Dad on her right arm.
And on her chest right above her breast was a picture of the family farm.

CHORUS: Tattooed lady, she's so fine.
Tattooed lady, gonna make her mine.
Tattooed lady, she's a real museum.
Invites up all the boys just to see 'em.

I told her I liked what I saw. I mean, I really dig the view.
You know she bowed and she said out loud, "I'm the Queen of the Rose Tattoo!"
She grabbed a needle and a bottle of ink and gave me a little smile.
I jumped up apprehensively. I said, "Honey, that ain't my style."
She laughed and grinned, "This ain't for you. I don't have that in mind
But how'd you like to make a motor bike on the bottom of my behind?"

There was a strange insect just below her neck, four crabs on her calves,
Two chandeliers behind her ears, and a light bulb just for laughs.
She had the moon and the sun just for fun under each of her armpits,
And the Dodgers scores from '94 in errors, runs, and hits.
There was a dog and a cat in the small of her back with a jumbo jet airplane,
And to remind her was her favorite diner and an old-time railroad train.

CHORUS

She joined the Navy when she was a girl. She had a very interesting life.
She's been around the world forty times or more. She never made no man a wife.
She don't go to movies or wear fancy clothes. She ain't concerned about her health.
All she wants to do is show her tattoos and paint pictures on herself.

She had the sign of the cross and a pinto horse 'tween her first and second rib,
A clenched fist on her left wrist; on the right was a Star of David.
She had a cowboy hat and a Siamese cat in the crook of each of her knees.
On one elbow was a garden hoe and on the other was a set of keys.
She had country singers on each of her fingers, billiard balls on her knuckles,
An eel and a seal on the back of her heel and on her waist was a tattooed buckle.

INSTRUMENTAL.

There was a map of the world on the rump of that girl made by an expert painter,
And through the night from this dazzling sight, my vision was growing fainter.
She pointed to her face, the last virgin place, said, "It's time to begin!"
Scratched a lobster on her jaw, said, "There should be more!" put a red rose on her chin.

She had a fleur-de-lis on her right knee, little daisies 'tween her toes,
A county jail and a watering pail to make sure that her garden grows.
She had some tuna fish next to her pubis, twin angels on her soles.
In one ear was a bottle of beer and in the other was a Tootsie-Roll.
She had Gregory Peck on the back of her neck, Marlon Brando above her heart,
James Dean, Steve McQueen*, and Mister Clean and a naked cupid with a bow and a dart.

CHORUS: Tattooed lady, she's so fine.
Tattooed lady, gonna make her mine.
Tattooed lady, she's a real museum,
Invites up all the boys just to see 'em.
Invites up all the boys just to see 'em.
Invites up all the boys just to see her amazing—
From her head down to the bottom of her toes—
Tattoos!


* or Martin Sheen or Charlie Sheen can be substituted depends on the audience and my mood!

© 1974 Meson Music BMI smokula@yahoo.com

I've got an album out "Waiting for the Hurricane". It doesn't have "Tattooed Lady" on it, but could clear up confusion on who I am.

http://www.amazon.com/Waiting-For-The-Hurricane/dp/B003NMI2G6/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&s=dmusic&qid=1292351549&sr=8-2-catcorr

Sometimes I'm also known as Count Smokula.

Smokey Miles


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Dec 10 - 03:49 PM

Well, I heard 1 ONCE & can't remember artist or rhymes, but the story went:
Female person had married her true love, & found that, with passage of time, passion became less passionate, fun&games less frequent. What to do??? She went & had a row of buttons tattooed from the low point of her collarbone down past her navel. Problem solved: lover now had an obsession to fumble with her buttons!!

God bless Groucho Marx forever, & the 1 about the Aussie/British Navy has always been fun, too.

Recently watching TV with my BabyBoy(now 39) & we saw a full-length MarxBros movie. He'd never seen them before, only heard about them. At 1st there was this look of stunned disbelief on his face, & I said, "These are the jokes, son. It's what killed vaudeville." He started roaring. Feels good to give your child something wonderful...Tw


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Charley Noble
Date: 15 Dec 10 - 09:04 AM

Smokey-

Just amazing!

There's not much left for the imagination to ponder or prick.

Cheerily,
Charley Noble


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Jan 11 - 05:26 AM

tattooed lady tattooed from head to knee on her left shoulder was a birds eye view of dover around the corner the jonny horner was my home in gay paree    does anyone know where i can get this version


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 05 Jan 11 - 03:10 PM

GUEST: Your song sounds like a variant of the Kingston Trio's song THE TATTOOED LADY. It has this verse:

And over her left kidney,
Was a bird's-eye view of Sydney,
But what we liked best
Was upon her chest,
My little home in Waikiki.


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Subject: RE: Lyr Req: That Old Tattooed Lady
From: GUEST,Chris Lavis
Date: 19 Feb 22 - 08:31 AM

Has anyone heard a version that goes. . .

I paid my entrance fee, to see that tattooed she

She had Sir Hubert Tree tattooed upon her knee

She had a great big Uniom Jack tattooed across her back

And down below on her big toe Jack Johnson done in black

She had a battleship tattooed upon her hip

And where I could not see, a map of Germany

She had a picture of Harry Lauder right across where she gets broader

And as a mixture, she had a picture of her home in Tennessee.


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