BS: A short way with trolls

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 07:05 PM

This sniphilis is hanging on. Luckily, I don't feel that bad. Moat of me, anyway. The nose, sinuses and ears are another story.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: ClaireBear
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:53 PM

I can hardly credit it -- someone besides me has a copy of "The Northern Cookbook"? (I should say "had"; sadly I gave mine away a few years back, but I continue to remember it fondly.)

I used to leave recipes from the "Arctic cuisine" chapter of that cookbook as outgoing messages on my answering machine. I called them "Stirring recitations." They were short enough to fit in the 20 seconds allowed for outgoing messages, and they tended to go something like this:

Porcupine

Drop porcupine in fire to burn off quills. Put in pot of water. Boil until soft. This is good to eat with muktuk.

Ah, those were the days!

Claire

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:48 PM

Jaysus, Jeri, you still not well?

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:33 PM

Especially in my house... where chocolate of any variety is endangered, if not positively threatened!


LTS

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 06:20 PM

I just thought I'd remind everybody:

The chocolate mousse is an endangered species.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Jeri
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 05:23 PM

I'm trying to get over a 12 day (so far) 'cold' involving copious amounts of snot (not to mention a blocked up ear). You people are making me sick(er).

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Peace
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 04:59 PM

"Jellied Moose Nose"

Don't know about the jellied part, but the roasted nose is really good.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: GUEST,lox
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 04:00 PM

Just thought I'd do a spot of trolling ...

... grrrr ....

... looks like its time for another recipe ...


(yum)

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 02:28 PM

An excellent anytime snack, guaranteed to lift your spirits.

Take two slices of whole wheat or nine-grain bread and toast in toaster or toaster oven.

Coat one slice of toast with a generous portion of peanut butter (chunky or smooth as you prefer, or soy butter makes an interesting substitute, but it has a somewhat milder flavor than peanut butter).

Spread lavish amounts of King Kelly orange marmalade on the other slice of toast. Place the two slices of toast together with the marmalade and the peanut or soy butter sides facing each other.

Eat with merry smile.

Yum!!

Wipe marmalade carefully off shirt front (very sticky, and if you don't get it off immediately, you'll eventually find it dripping from the ceiling).

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 02:04 PM

3 1/4-pound boneless pork shoulder, also known as…Boston butt!

4 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil, divided

2 large onions, chopped

2 large carrots, chunked

1 1/2 cups dried cherries

1/2 cup golden raisins

2 tablespoons sugar

1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

2 cups Guwerztraminer

2 cups low-salt chicken broth

5 Sprigs fresh Thyme

Preheat oven to 325°F. Sprinkle pork with salt and pepper. Heat 2 tablespoons oil in heavy large ovenproof pot over medium-high heat. Add pork to pot and cook until browned on all sides, about 13 minutes total. Transfer pork to plate; discard fat in pot. Heat remaining 2 tablespoons oil in same pot over medium heat. Add onions and carrots; sauté until onions are golden, stirring occasionally, about 3 minutes. Add sugar; sauté 30 seconds. Add vinegar; bring mixture to boil and cook until slightly reduced, about 3 minutes. Add broth and wine, thyme, dried fruits, and pork with juices from plate. Bring to boil. Cover pot and transfer to oven. Braise pork 1 hour. Using tongs, turn pork over and continue braising until meat is very tender, about 45 minutes longer. Using slotted spoon, transfer pork to platter; tent with foil.

Remove herb sprigs from pot. Boil cooking liquid over high heat until thickened, about 7 minutes. Season sauce with salt and pepper. Pour over pork and serve.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Don Firth
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 01:54 PM

Seagull or fish duck tend to taste very fishy in a most unpleasant way. But there is a way of getting a meal out of these fowl.

Dig a fire pit and line it with rocks. Build a good roaring fire in the pit. While the rocks are heating, take two medium size seagulls. You don't need to go to the trouble of cleaning the birds or even plucking the feathers for reasons that will become clear shortly.

Coat the birds heavily with thick mud.

When the rocks in the pit are heated practically to the glowing point, clean out the ashes and debris from the fire and place the two mud coated birds in the pit on the rocks. Bury the birds in the pit, then build another fire on top.

Since it will take several hours to cook them properly, it is a good idea to make these preparations the evening before. Once the birds are buried in the pit and the fire on top is well under way, you can then crawl into your tent for a good night's sleep.

In the morning, scrape the fire debris away and dig up the birds. You will note that the fire has turned the mud coating the birds into hard clay.

Crack the clay by slamming the birds on a large rock. Pull the clay away from the birds.

You will note that, as you remove the clay, it takes all the feathers with it (Neat, eh?).

Throw away the clay.

Throw away the birds.

Eat your tent.

Don Firth

P. S.   Garnish with a roll of Tums for GUEST,irritated, and those of similar ilk.

P. P. S. I live not too far from this troll:   CLICKY #1.   A troll in the larval stage:   CLICKY #2.   Everyone who surfs the internet needs this:   CLICKY #3.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Ebbie
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 10:42 AM

Mosquito Stew

Recipe is found in 'The Road Less Travelled'. I assure you it is tasty.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: GUEST,AR
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 07:26 AM

McGrath of Harlow, the name troll seems to be given to anyone who doesn't agree with you or other members of the "Inner Circle" here. Get a life mate.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: bobad
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 07:16 AM

Actually moose nose contains collagen, a connective tissue protein present in animal bones, skin, tendon, cartilage, ligaments etc. The collagen is denatured into gelatin by boiling.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: semi-submersible
Date: 24 Feb 09 - 03:50 AM

Yes, cartilage seems to dissolve into gelatin. The same technique makes other traditional dishes like calf's head jelly. Grandma made excellent head cheese once from some large salmon heads, but only the once because it was so big a job to pick all the tid-bits of meat from the bones. (I've often had salmon juice set up in a pan overnight. I suspect proteins from the skin also contribute.)

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 06:19 PM

Moose nose could contain gelatin, as calve's feet do. It could "set up" without any more help.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 01:38 PM

I think the Mudcatters should take over the US Air Force.

That's a great post Poppa, it's got me laughing insatiably! :0)

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: PoppaGator
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 12:53 PM

The recipe provided so very long ago for "Jellied Moose Nose" seems not to include any gelatin or pectin, etc. I sat and wondered: How can this be?

The Shambles' post just above (which effectively killed this thread for a couple of years) may have provided the answer in its first line, "Hot snot and bogey pir..."

I suppose you just need to make sure that the moose-nose comes with its own built-in supply of moose-snot. That'll make the final product "set"!

By the way, back in 2006 all this talk of cooking moose would not have inspired any thoughts of a certain Alaskan governor. Not so today!

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Bill D
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 11:29 AM

Oh, wonderful! Bureaucratic instructions for coping with trolls.

Maybe the idea is that, after you have analyzed all the relevant options and worked out the proper tone, you will have forgotten why you wanted to reply!

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jan 09 - 11:11 AM

How to Deal With Tricky Posts, by the US Air Force

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: The Shambles
Date: 04 Oct 06 - 12:38 PM

Hot snot and bogey pie
All mixed-up with a dead dog's eye
Lay it on a bit o bread, nice and thick
And wash it down with a cup of cold sick.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 01:02 PM

Just try the recipe technique. It actually seems to work sometimes.

(As for harvesting recipes scattered in this way, the search engine provides exellent ways of doing that.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: bobad
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 11:22 AM

The definition of planning ahead for a Canuck is buying 2 two-fours.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 11:14 AM

I see - so that is what is known down-under as a "slab". Do you think a slab of Coopers Sparkling Ale would do at a pinch? I might need several slabs if I decide to try this one for my next dinner party - takes 6 weeks all up:

Elephant Stew
           
1 Elephant
200 c Water
700 ts Salt
Pepper, to taste
650 (10 oz.) cans brown gravy
2 Rabbits (optional)

Remove tusks; wash well; cut into chunks - takes about 2 weeks.

Place meat in large kettles; season with salt and pepper. Cover with water and gravy. Cook over kerosene fire at 455 degrees for about 4 weeks, or until tender.

This amount should serve 3,800 people; however, if more guests are expected, you may add 2 rabbits the last hour of cooking, but do so only if necessary because most people do not like to find hare in their stew.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: bobad
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 10:58 AM

A two-four is a case of 24 brews eh!

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Tannywheeler
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 10:47 AM

Emma B, I went to the clicky place you gave for the barbq moose recipe & now you need to answer a question. The recipe specifies "3 two-fours of fine Canadian beer". What's a "two-four"??? As the purpose of the beer is for the nourishment of the one supervising the 9-day(!!!?) cooking of the critter, is it, like,um, a double truckload? Or what? Have met some fine Canadian persons, but this is not a phrase I've heard uttered or explained. Yet.    Tw

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: GUEST,irritated
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 10:38 AM

But its still irritating for mudcat members who dont share
your little circle of friends 'recipe' for selfishly indulging in your food based sense of humour
in other threads;

which although possibly authored initially by trolls,
do have potential to be developed into interesting deabates
for regular mudcat members.

At worst this particular self-appointed anti-troll campaign
is embarassing lame humour being perpertrated
by embarassing lame 'humourists'.

And anyway, it appears to be an idea that you've all just copied from another forum.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 10:20 AM

Well should anyone be looking for such recipes - they are most unlikely to look for them on a thread with this title.

Ah but Roger, as you know, these little excursions into the unexpected are part of the charm of Mudcat. As you yourself said here:

"Subject: RE: BS: Thread race!
From: The Shambles - PM
Date: 24 Sep 06 - 09:35 PM

I would argue that irrelevant cybermadness with no redeeming social value is not the purpose of the Cat.

You may argue this - but others may argue that such arguments are not the purpose of the Cat. They may well be right too:

THE POINT OF THIS WEB SITE IS HAPPINESS."

or here:

"Subject: RE: BS: Closed threads & deleted posts.
From: The Shambles - PM
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 12:53 PM

Our forum remains a very pleasant place to hang-out and it is pretty obviously still a place to goof off or have a good discussion."

Anyway, if you read the first post to this thread, I think you will find I am right on topic.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 07:32 AM

Years back there was a bloke lived somewhere near Sheffield, England, known as Brian "the Potty Poet". He self published small booklets which he sold for the price of a pint and gave any profits to charity, sending disabled children on trips to Lourdes.
One of Brian's books contained recipes which JennyO would probably approve of.
The only recipe I can recall (as I cannot locate my copy) was for "Chuck Berry Pie".
The recipe went something like-
Make a pie.
Chuck berries in it.
Bake it...

Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: The Shambles
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 06:11 AM

Well should anyone be looking for such recipes - they are most unlikely to look for them on a thread with this title.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 06:00 AM

But Roger, you aren't gonna find these recipes over on that thread. They may be jolly good, but where else on Mudcat will you find a recipe for these?


Frog Croquettes
        
A whole mess of frogs
1 package of stuffing mix
Several cups of bread crumbs

Slit frogs from butt to chin and remove entrails; wash and pat dry. Mix stuffing mix and bread crumbs with water; stuff frog cavities. Place on platter under broiler for 15 minutes or until golden brown. Serve on bed of lily pads. Should be eaten like hors d'oeuvres.

A Chablis is most appropriate.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: The Shambles
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 05:35 AM

Jolly good recipes

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: The Shambles
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 05:32 AM

Experts may be able to fight real fires with fire.

It has been clearly shown that no matter how much fun it may seem - fighting online rubbish with rubbish - only buries us all under more rubbish.

There remains only one way - but then you can't be seen to be making any judgements and it just isn't anywhere near so much fun.

The very best judgement is to be seen to completely ignore anything you may judge as attempts to intentionally disrupt, divert and prevent discussion.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: JennyO
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 03:57 AM

Speak for yourself GUEST(S?) I find it very funny and entertaining myself. Irritated trolls are funny too.

Here's one I prepared earlier:


SPIDER SALAD

Steam your spiders live, as this is a safe method of both asphyxiating them and keeping them crisp and fresh. You'll want to chop the legs off the larger spiders and quarter them. Prepare a bed of romaine lettuce, parsley, Portobello mushrooms in season (chopped), radishes, and scallions. Toss in approximately 1 cup chopped spiders, much as you would in a seafood salad, then a generous amount of olive oil, vinegar, lemon juice, and fresh ground pepper. Bon appetit!

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: GUEST,neither troll nor immature old bloke
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 12:29 AM

no.. it realy aint..

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 12:18 AM

Soooooo... an irritated anonymous wanker complains about anti-troll tactics on a thread specifically dedicated to pissing off trolls...


.... he MUST be a TROLL! :-)


"and it aint funny or entertaining for other members here either."

Oh, but it is...

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: GUEST,irritated
Date: 03 Oct 06 - 12:09 AM

You guys writing recipes all over mudcat
are acting like a bunch of self indulgent wankers with over inflated egos..

it dont stop trolls

and it aint funny or entertaining for other members here either.

Please stop wasting mudcat bandwidth with all this crap
you are congesting threads with.

At the moment you are more sad and irritating than any trolls.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Tootler
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:02 PM

Easy way to deal with trolls.

Hire the three Billy Goats Gruff!

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: gnu
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 02:22 PM

EB! Love that moose recipe! Might have to alter it a slight bit for the one my buddy got Saturday.... 1200#, 58 inch boards.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 08:22 AM

Nonsense! Take old cheese (preferably Limburger or some other stinky type), the older the better, and thoroughly squeeze it into and through raw liver (beef, pork, sheep, whatever -- it doesn't matter as long as it's fairly fresh and nicely bloody). When you've worked the cheese it, add a bit of flour to firm it all up somewhat and put it somewhere to age (the best place is under your brother's bed). When the odor is such that your mother opens all the windows and complains about your dead socks, the catfish bait is ready. Mix in a little more flour if you must, and mold treble hoooks into the middle of it.

Fish it on the bottom. Guarenteed to take Big Blues and Muds.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: skipy
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:57 AM

Chuckle!
Skipy

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 06:43 AM

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: The Shambles
Date: 02 Oct 06 - 04:31 AM

The only way is of course for posters to be encouraged by example - to simply ignore them.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: frogprince
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 05:38 PM

ONE DAY ON THE TROLLWAY

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Emma B
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 05:01 PM

recipe for catching those pesky guests?

"Grab Your Wife's.... Pantyhose! I go fishing rain or shine. So I was thinking to myself what stinks real bad (catfish are attracted to smell) so cat poo is really smelly (we all know that) and you take cat poo and mix it with a can of tuna put a little cheese in and put it all in a food processor (make sure you don't use the one you prepare food in) and you mix it all up. Add garlic if necessary and put outside for 2 to 3 hours. Grab some pantyhose out of your wife's drawer and put the mixture in it and cast out in deep water. Once they smell it you better watch out - I caught a 43 pounder so try it!"

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 04:50 PM

The thing is, many the trolls on Mudcat are members with names. The fact that they post under a name doesn't change that, Bert.

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Bert
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 03:08 PM

How could you be so cruel?

Don't you realise that the usual suspects would starve if they couldn't have their feeding frenzy every couple of days?

*HEE HEE*

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Emma B
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 02:27 PM

A rich, sweet and nourishing broth

1, 5"-6" piece of Kelp
1 medium onion, chopped
1 medium winter squash, cubed (about 1 quart)
1/3 cup parsley, chopped
Miso to taste
Lightly rinse Kelp, check for tiny shells.
In a soup pot, cover kelp with water and simmer 10 minutes.
Remove, cut into small pieces.
Return to pot with the onion and squash, add water to cover.
5. Simmer until squash is soft, 20 -30 minutes, or pressure cook 5-10 minutes.
Puree miso with broth, add to pot. Garnish with parsley.
Suggestion: Omit parsley, add broccoli flowers and /or kale, cook until bright green.

Option: If, for appearance sake, you wish to have no Kelp pieces in the finished soup, do not return the cooked kelp to the pot. Most of the nutrition will remain in the stock

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Don Firth
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 02:20 PM

The last time I went trolling, I dragged this piece of bait around the water for a couple of hours and all I caught was 84 pounds of kelp.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: A short way with trolls
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Oct 06 - 12:50 PM

GARLIC? Huh!

Trolls serve no useful function or useful food................