BS: Talking to some people is like

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: olddude
Date: 14 Jul 12 - 09:32 PM

She normally does very well Ebbie, she and my mom are elderly but both are as sharp as a tack mentally. I think they both believe they are still 40 I really do. It is only when aunt G wants to help that things seem to get bass ackwards. Tonight's conversation:

Hey Mom how is aunt G .. " Oh she is fine, her and I are watching Tv and eating marshmellows ... Aunt G has an ice pack on her goose egg"

Tomorrow she said she is going to make her meatloaf..

Aunt G wants to cook tomorrow?
Yes she is a great cook
Mom I know but "sweet Jesus, I don't need any fires"
"I will tell her that"

I was serious, they may not think I was but yea

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Jul 12 - 05:36 PM

hhhhahhahaha. What has your Auntie's life been like to this point?

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 14 Jul 12 - 05:11 PM

ya gotta remember Ebbie, she went down to "help mom" LOL
so far in one week, she crashed up their car, broke her wrist, and today took a header down the stairs ... I told my brother yesterday . wow no more drama all week maybe it has settled down. He said "wait Dan, the weekend ain't here yet" He must have a crystal ball

OH Boy ..

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 14 Jul 12 - 04:51 PM

for sure. aunt G is back from the ER room, has a goose egg on her head but nothing more (Thank God)

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Jul 12 - 02:02 PM

You're going to have to write the book!

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: olddude
Date: 14 Jul 12 - 12:10 PM

so this morning I am talking to my sister on the phone and I get
"OH MY GOD, Aunt G just rolled down the steps again"

They took her to the hospital to get check out, wacked her head

Shoot me now!!

Ya couldn't make this stuff up, no one would believe ya

%$#@%*&

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: meself
Date: 12 Jul 12 - 02:09 AM

My bro told his kids that they shouldn't hesitate to tell him if he reaches the point where they think he shouldn't be driving. Now he lives in fear that any day they're going to tell him just that ....

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Ebbie
Date: 11 Jul 12 - 03:31 PM

Any news from the homefront, olddude?

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 07:04 PM

"My aunt laughed and said I guess your right, even though I am a year younger than you its time to hang it up ..."

Some people can tell the cat to stop scratching? lol

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 06:06 PM

Talking to some people is like, them having to listen to me!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 04:54 PM

I'm glad. She probably still wants to hear that she's not considered a nut case. I've heard old people say, "They took away his car keys..." in a voice that means "This is the beginning of the end."

Last November we took away my father-in-law's keys. He felt angry and absolutely terrible. In January he died of sudden-onset Alzheimer's.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 04:50 PM

asked her what she was doing, "Oh me and your aunt are sitting on the porch drinking coffee watching the cars go by and complaining about aches and pains"

the two of them are a comedy act ... no kidding, I bust a gut laughing when they are together ... they are two of a kind" both totally nuts

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 04:40 PM

LOL, my mom in her most tackful voice "gimme your drivers license you blind old woman, your not driving anymore" My aunt laughed and said I guess your right, even though I am a year younger than you its time to hang it up ...

Thank God , I am smiling

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 01:36 PM

Naw, she was laughing when I said that, she has my mom's sense of humor. burst out laughing when I said rolled down the stairs like a sausage ...

she liked it and laughed.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,Guest from Sanity
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 12:20 PM

olldude: "Trying to tell a cat they can't cover up a turd on the sidewalk ...grrrrrr"

...That's why they have 'talking points', and corrupt political parties!
Excuse makers, with an eager audience!!!

Hey, Warmest Regards to You!!

GfS

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 10:02 AM

Old dude, c'mon! I know you're stressed, buy try a little tact and persuation.

As in:

"Of course you're not dead yet, and your mind is perfectly fine. But your eyes are letting you down. You're 82, and the eye doctor says you can't see as well as you used to. And your nerves are letting you down some, too. Your reaction time is getting slower. Meanwhile, today's kids drive so wild, some of them on their cell phones so they don't even have their cars under control.

We don't want you getting hurt."
=============
Keep in mind that when "they" take an old person's keys away, "they" seem to be saying "You are a useless, senile piece of junk!" Don't seem to be doing that yourself.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: olddude
Date: 10 Jul 12 - 09:32 AM

This morning conversation with my aunt.

"Just called Aunt G to see how you are doing"
"Oh I am fine, gee Dan I sure hope they don't take my license"
"Well I sure hope they do, and if they don't I am taking it"
"What do you mean, I can drive"
"You can drive just find Aunt G, it is the stopping part that is kinda rough"
"What do you mean"
"Well you hit a PARKED CAR while driving, does that tell you anything"
"maybe you are right, see how it goes in my drivers test"
"I sure hope the cop that rides with you at the test has good insurance"


Now don't try to go upstairs ok, the last time you came down to "help mom you rolled down the steps like a sausage and spent a week in the hospital"

"OH I can still do steps, I ain't dead yet"

Note: hear that sound, it is the cat still scratching the cement

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 10:05 PM

Old dude, you are certainly living in interesting times, fortunately you have strength & a sense of humour!

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 09:47 PM

We don't know that the punk stole the money and the credit card. Sometimes old people hide things and forget where they put them. If she is afraid of the punk (and why wouldn't she be?) she may have done that. A friend of mine had a grandmother who did it regularly, then accused the staff of stealing her things.

But on the bad side, if he took the money and card, did he also take her keys, esp. house key? Has that been checked?

Old dude, I didn't realize you were four hours away.

I have had experience with druggies who use their little kids to manipulate the older generation. It's a serious problem nobody wants to talk about. You have my sympathy, Dan.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Janie
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 09:24 PM

You may just have to accept you can't control the situation then decide how much responsibility you are willing to take to sort things out for your Mom when it all goes to hell in a handbasket.

There aren't right or wrong answers for you - only choices.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 09:22 PM

tried to get mom to stay with me but NOOOOOOOOO have to go home to my sister and the baby ...

anyway ... that is that,    thanks for letting me vent my friends
I love you all
Dan

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 08:25 PM

You should have seen the time they took my mom credit card and racked up 20K in charges ... I had to sort that one out for mom ... I know they did it ... Losers .. my sisters grand daughter and boyfriend don't work .. on welfare ... go figure. I had to bail the young girl out one time because my mom was crying so I did and wished I didn't. Their little 2yr old boy is adorable and they just drop him off with my sister and mom and disappear for a week or two getting high. They got some gene but it wasn't from my mom or dad that's for sure. We all worked our ass off our entire life ...

ya can pick your nose but ya can't pick family huh

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 07:42 PM

Wow, Dan, looks like I seriously misunderestimated the situation.

Maybe time to take away car keys and show the creep your iron.

Just a thought.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Bobert
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 07:21 PM

Listen to me, Ol'ster... I ain't Carlos Castaneda but here's a nugget for you: people, like cats, ain't right...

You're welcome...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Leadfingers
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 07:20 PM

Families can be a REAL Pain mate ! All we can do is sympathise from 3000 miles away .

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Crowhugger
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 07:02 PM

Family can be such a nightmare! I'm feeling for you, olddude.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 06:20 PM

my sister Sins is the problem she has been the source of this unending drama most of my life. Oh and I keep saying her daughter, it is her granddaughter with the 2 year old. She and her tattooed loser creep sperm donator. They don't deserve a beautiful little boy like that, they don't take care of him, they steal, do drugs .. but my mom lives to see that baby. I am about 4 hours away from them, I just get to sort out the daily mess they get into.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 06:14 PM

Oh Dan, I am sorry. I thought maybe she didn't like to take her meds during her favorite soap opera.

Sounds like your sister is the problem not your mother.
Any chance of venting on her and her daughter? Or is maintaining the peace a better alternative?

Bastard robs from his girlfriend's sick grandmother. Has anyone called the police? And you did cancel the card, right?
SINS, been there. It ain't pretty.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 06:12 PM

I've been washing dishes and thinking, Dan. Consider this:

I bet one thing your mother really needs right now is sleep. Lots and lots of good sleep in a darkened, familiar room. Tell the relatives that you called the doctor, and he said so. Move in for a while, and keep all those people away from her.   Tell them they can phone or visit at 4 pm each day.

Keep those babies away. Little kids are germ reservoirs.

A friend of mine spent a long stretch in a rehab place. (ankle, knee). She has diabetes, and the staff woke her up once or twice every night to check her blood sugar. Every one of them turned on the brilliant fluorescent lights every time, thus destroying her rest.

When she finally got home, she had the first real night's sleep she had had in six months.

Between being sick and being in the hospital and being visited, how much sleep has your mother had? Sleeplessness keeps people from thinking clearly.

It's probably not the answer, but it could help.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,999
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 06:00 PM

Ya sound busy, Dan. I'll give you a shout in a day or two. Just to shoot the breeze. Hang tough. If you saw this on a Keystone Cops reel you'd think it's a comedy. The answer is, of course, to relax, have a good belch and then one of those farts where ya make like a football player who just walked into the end zone thus bringing his team one point ahead of the opposition before the conversion attempt. Wearing bicycle clips is a good way to ensure nothin' rolls down yer pant legs or something like that and out onto a good rug or something like that when ya do something like that or something like that.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 05:47 PM

Note to Sister:
so you let a half blind 87 year old aunt drive your car huh ...
NOW we got two old ladies to care for ... DUMBASS !!

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 05:39 PM

I am laughing also Ebbie, no one would believe me that they are like this but they are ...

MOM if you don't drink water or some fluids doc says you will be in the hospital again in a day .. (I don't like drinking water) ok, well how about the billion gallons of grape juice coupons I gave you have my sister get you a bunch of it... or lemon aid ...

well I drink coffee instead ... $#$%$#

when is your docs appt. I missed it, I wanted to play with the baby instead #$#@$&^

I am the first one to call when a problem occurs anywhere but never one to listen to ..

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Ebbie
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 05:20 PM

NO aunt G you cannot drive to the store, my sister will get you anything you need, you can't see

1 hour later.   OMG Dan aunt G crashed the car and broke her wrist, - she is now on the couch next to my mom


2) NO mom don't even think about picking up that baby .. doc said stay down ...   

1 hour later OMG Dan mom tore her stitches out and broke the bag picking up the baby ..


3) NO sis, you daugher can visit mom but her no good loser tattooed creep criminal boyfriend is not to go near the house

1 hour later after he was in visiting also

OMG Dan someone took cash out of mom's purse and her credit card is gone ..

I know that it's not really funny, Dan, but LOL!

With genes like that, it makes me wonder what YOU will be like when your turn comes... :)

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 05:06 PM

Olddude, sounds like people are double-dealing with you. They don't listen to you, but when something goes wrong, they call you up and want you to fix it. You are the unofficial dad - but only when something goes wrong.

(I seem to have the same role in my family. I don't even get Christmas cards, but when there's trouble, my phone is ringing.)

Next time, tell sis to get the credit card cancelled and deal with the punk.

Tell baby's parent to take Mom to doc to get stitches fixed. It's the parent who allowed the old lady to pick up the baby.

When mom and aunt complain, quietly leave the room. (pretend you need the rest room) They chose to hurt themselves.

In the meantime, hide the car keys.

Keep in mind that your mother may not simply be defiant. It may be that she doesn't understand things or cannot remember. The brain can be a very odd thing sometimes. I only hope she gets better as she recovers.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 04:58 PM

Sounds like you've been living a nightmare, Dan.

My mother had a old so-called "friend" who stole a whole lot of valuable jewelry from her about a month and a half before she died...this despite my having most strongly advised her for at least the last decade to stay away from this phony "friend" whose whole life is based on ripping off people. This was an older woman, by the way, a woman in her 50s. It's not just young male creeps with tattoos who menace society....though I will readily admit that they certainly pose a higher risk statistically than 55 year old women do!

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: olddude
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 04:38 PM

took care of it Jack, One could not make this stuff up, no one would believe ya ... I just gotta laugh .. cause I will scream if I don't. At least mom and aunt G are ok ... now both are complaining about their aches and pains.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 04:34 PM

Sounds rough. Credit card cancelled, new one coming and a report to the police?

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: olddude
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 04:15 PM

So here was my phone conversations yesterday.
1) to my 87 year old aunt visiting my mom

NO aunt G you cannot drive to the store, my sister will get you anything you need, you can't see

1 hour later.   OMG Dan aunt G crashed the car and broke her wrist, - she is now on the couch next to my mom


2) NO mom don't even think about picking up that baby .. doc said stay down ...   

1 hour later OMG Dan mom tore her stitches out and broke the bag picking up the baby ..


3) NO sis, you daugher can visit mom but her no good loser tattooed creep criminal boyfriend is not to go near the house

1 hour later after he was in visiting also

OMG Dan someone took cash out of mom's purse and her credit card is gone ..


Here that sound, it is the shit cannon going off

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 03:51 PM

Speaking as a mother...OK...what is it she is NOT doing that she should or doing that she shouldn't and does it matter a rat's ass?
Love you, Son.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 03:37 PM

I've thought about doing exactly that, Spaw. ;-) But I don't know where to contact Him. Can you advise what my next step should be?



(Now, there's a great straight line.......! Don't disappoint me.)

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: gnu
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 03:36 PM

Rough stuff, Dan. I deal with it on a daily basis. AND, two out of the three major prblems are easily resolved (with physio and with hearing aids). Well, four, actually. The biggest one is that she refuses to see a doc in the first place.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 03:22 PM

Not much to worry about then in your case Hawk..........Nobody gives a weak shit one way or the other! Not too late though......Turn your life over to The Great Hat and all will be well...........


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 03:17 PM

Yup. I understand that, all right, Megan. It definitely depends which side of the mirror one is looking at. I don't relish the thought of becoming weaker and more dependent on others as I age...being a burden on them, etc. I don't have children, though, so it'll be a question of dealing with friends and professionals rather than immediate family, I expect.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Megan L
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 03:08 PM

the trouble is which side of the mirror you are looking at.

The families side - elderly parent needs helpso lets get them help.

Elders side(depending on what they lived through) - I am becoming less of the person I was I always had to be strong for them I cannot let them see me being week. This will cost money will I have enough left to pay for my funeral. I dont want to be a burden on my family. I lived through the meanstest i dont want my family to go through that.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:51 PM

Absolutely! Truer words were never spoken. What's more important, though...how do they behave toward the people who disagree with them?

"Eventually the cat will realize the futility and stop digging."

Well, yeah, you'd think so...but not always. My mother kept right on with her habitual forms of futility and self-defeating behaviour right to the moment of her death. Refused medical assistance. Refused home care assistance. Was generally completely obstructive, and in a way that didn't help her one bit, but cost her dearly. But....she DID get her way!

Olddude, you are not alone.

(Amos does have a valid point, though.) The main reason my mother behaved as she did, I think, was that she was deeply insecure about herself...living in fear...and that caused her to act quite irrationally. Compassion and forgiveness is probably the best way to deal with a person like that, because you won't change them by fighting with them about it, that's for sure. They just get more fearful if you do.

Given that, it wasn't easy. She passed away last November, and the last year was very tough indeed.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:38 PM

Everybody pays attention to people who agree with them.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: GUEST,Peter
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:37 PM

she won't listen to anything the docs or anyone else tells her and my sister doesn't make it any better.

Sounds just like my late mother.
She won't listen to you, her "little boy" clearly isn't going to know better than mum. Elderly parents will pay attention to grandchildren or neighbours but not children or health professionals.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:35 PM

Eventually the cat will realize the futility and stop digging.

Or she will be distracted by a bird.

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Wolfhound person
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:19 PM

....standing in the middle of a Spanish bull run, trying to issue detailed street directions?

Paws

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: Amos
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 02:10 PM

Dan, Dan...the lesson in life is that it's never the question or comment, it's the feeling behind it that needs to be addressed. Instead of talking to the muzzle of a shit cannon, try finding the artillery officer and find out what's on his/her mind...



A

Subject: RE: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: olddude
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 01:47 PM

took her home july 4, she won't listen to anything the docs or anyone else tells her and my sister doesn't make it any better.

I sometimes feel like I am standing in front of a shit cannon in this life

grrrrrrr

Subject: BS: Talking to some people is like
From: olddude
Date: 09 Jul 12 - 01:36 PM

Trying to tell a cat they can't cover up a turd on the sidewalk ..
grrrrrr .... mothers ... geesh