BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Amos
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 03:24 PM

Hawkster conveniently left out the last verse in a fit of misplaced pride:

The answers are simple though some find them hard to confront!
The myths and imagined events -- if you'll let me be blunt --
Are simply phantasms of someone's wild dreaming
Psychosis let run on the loose.
One wild-eyed fanatic was the singer. the pig and the goose!!

Way, up! Santa Ana we squabble and squawk,
Though the rest of Texas may talk.
You can blame it on Little Hawk!

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 03:54 PM

Ho! Ho! ;-)

I've never heard of Poland China hogs before, Spaw, but I've probably eaten back bacon from more than a few of them by now. I feel inestimably richer for having been informed by you of their existence. Can I get one sent up here on an exchange program? I have an ass which I can trade for it.

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 04:25 PM

Did Catspeare say something about shakers..?!

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 04:41 PM

"goose is too damn greasy."

No way, Goose is the best! You're just not cooking it right Spaw. You need to prick the skin properly to let the excess fat out (then drain the lot off, once or twice while cooking), and when cooked it tastes like a sublime mix of duck and lamb. Too damn good for you common old Turkey loving colonials anyway! No hot stuffed greased birds? You'll be telling us next you can't handle hard-core blue, or hot-spiced red! Pass the nut crackers someone...

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Crow Sister (off with the fairies)
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 04:53 PM

I should add that me & Mr.C have creamy mature Stilton with spiced mulled wine every Christmas eve (while I roll the Christmas Tart & baste the Pork.)

Apologies, had a random spasm..

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 05:04 PM

Mulled wine with carols - yum!

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Dec 09 - 11:27 PM

Yes indeed! And hot apple cider is good this time of year too. I'm just about to have some.

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 04:30 AM

(Never tried that, L.H. - I'll have to ask at a local.)

Sorry to put a dampner on things but, with the U.N. Climate Change Conference starting in Copenhagen tomorrow, I just have to post this poem again, because what the world needs most, I'm afraid, is birth- and immigration-control; over 50 million IS too many for the area of land called England e.g., and over 6 billion IS too many for the area of land called Earth...

Poem 102 of 230: CONGESTION

The waxing view;
And the taboo:

Increasingly now, for congestion,
Leaders make this sort of suggestion -

Nationalisation,
    Remuneration,
Standardisation,
    Cooperation,
Integration;

Fine...but (through dread of accusation -
    "They don't care about our children" -
And of losing the next election)
    Most politicians never mention -
Promote a lower population.

I do care for the lives of children,
And think birth-control mends congestion -

Curb the birth queue
And influx, too.

From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book)
Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll)
(C) David Franks 2003

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: mandotim
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 07:30 AM

But WAV...if the birth rate falls, who will pay for your unemployment benefit? Where will your unearned old-age pension come from?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 10:18 AM

And basically the world needs you to shut the fuck up WavyFWBR. Then I have to also agree with Tim. As Dean Wormer says, "Fat, drunk, and stupid, is no way to go through life son," but I can see you're trying to make it work.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Amos
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 11:11 AM

Spaw, be genteel, sir. John Wayne says, "Life is tough; it's tougher if you're stupid".


I think WAV has a point; we need to control the immigration to Earth from other planets. It is getting out of hand, and most of them are here illegally.


A

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 11:35 AM

Good point Amos.......Are you suggesting WavyFWBR himelf perhaps?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 01:29 PM

what the world needs most, I'm afraid, is birth- and immigration-control; over 50 million IS too many for the area of land called England

I wonder how many are folkies though? And by what peculiar alchemy you conclude that Folk Music is somehow Our Own Good Culture when the vast majority of said 50 Million English Citizens couldn't give a shit about it - and rightly so in my opinion. Otherwise, even round here I can quite happily wander for three hours or more without encountering a single soul. Maybe you might provide some seriously Hard Evidence why you harbour such a drearily misanthropic overview which has given rise your noxious opinions in which you hint rather alarmingly at ethnic cleansing & eugenics - other than you are at heart a dreary misanthropist, of course, which I don't believe for one minute as every time we've met you've been so genuinely jovial and radiantly positive even about my resolutely non-folky take on your beloved E. trads. So what gives, WAV?

That said, I am rather a fan of The Groundhogs' Earth is not Room Enough. Listen to that keening mellotron - now that's what I call Our Own Good English Culture!

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 02:08 PM

What the hell does FWBR stand for? I know I sound like a dumbass asking that...but one shouldn't let fear of looking like a dumbass stand in the way of gaining further knowledge, should one?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 04:35 PM

Here, here, LH...or is it hear, hear?!

And, S., believe it or not, I did say "I do care about the lives of children" in that poem; and the Optimum Populatin Trust are saying similar things.

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 04:57 PM

How to implement such Draconian measures, WAV?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: s&r
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 06:16 PM

1984 rears its head

Stu

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Dec 09 - 07:10 PM

While others just give it................

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 04:14 AM

Not "Draconian measures," S., but one fork, of course, is EDUCATION: e.g., travelling through India in the late 80s I noticed sign-posts saying "Have one or two, And that will do"; or, in the early 80s, at high school, we heard about "Getting off before Central" - Central Station in Sydney, i.e. And lets hope this issue is not "taboo" (above) in the climate summit which has just started in wonderful Copenhagen.

Poem 229 of 230: JOYS OF LIFE

Leightons, and other great art;
    Plumes of fireworks at night;
The vivid reds of sunrise -
    Repeated at day's last light.

The beats through us of a drum;
    Winter's sun felt through closed glass;
Handing in the last exam;
    Awakenings – alarmless!

The ball, off thee, whacks their net;
    When, to palms, leather has stuck;
Orange juice during half-time;
    A warm bath to wash the muck.

Viewing set-over cricket;
    A golf ball, for once, well struck;
Viewing velodrome cycling;
    From net-chord, levelling luck!

Sticks, chants, didgeridoo,
    Haunting harps, and all bagpipes;
Clog, flamenco, tamure,
    Hula, and other dance types.

Out, by a cast, being told;
    In - taking tea and T.V.;
Highland views that command rest;
    The buildings of Italy.

Thrifty plant-propagation;
    By a wave one's body hit;
Upstream of camp - with paddle;
    By a fire - strongly lit.

Forest spent-leaves under foot;
    Tasting a host-nation's fare;
Alcedo atthis at work;
    Just-bills being brought to bear.

Allegros when feeling low;
    An andante to wind down;
Spoken French and chorused song;
    The quiet when out of town.

A stroll through a kept garden,
    Before Sunday's roast dinner;
A pub game, drink and meal;
    One's team a comeback winner.

From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book)
Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll)
(C) David Franks 2003

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 08:19 AM

Poets, grammar teachers, anyone with any knowledge of the English language, complete and total fucking morons, are all left in shock after reading that dismal and demented disaster which you have posted many times before on the 'Cat. Ya' know WavyFWBR, no one I know can destroy the written word with greater skill than you. This crap must be a fuckin' joke, right? I mean nobody would write something as gawdawful as that and try to seriously pass it off as something other than a joke.

The beats through us of a drum;
    Winter's sun felt through closed glass;
Handing in the last exam;
    Awakenings – alarmless!

Let me tell you that if the exam was in Language Arts, your fuckin' ass flunked. The thing is senseless to boot. What the hell are you talking about?

The ball, off thee, whacks their net;
    When, to palms, leather has stuck;
Orange juice during half-time;
    A warm bath to wash the muck.

Gawdamn! That one just defies analysis on any level. It is this verse that leads me to believe all of your crap is simply a bad joke.

Viewing set-over cricket;
    A golf ball, for once, well struck;
Viewing velodrome cycling;
    From net-chord, levelling luck!

WHAT THE FUCK????????

Christ, I can't go on.....laughing too hard to type!


SPaw

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: s&r
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 09:07 AM

Google shows 292 copy pastes of this poem taking 30 pages of Google search.

WAV you must paste as much spam as do the Nigerian money scammers

Love your turn of phrase Spaw: you say it better than I ever could

Stu

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Amos
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 11:37 AM

The quality is such that it cannot be sold profitably; but never mind. He'll make it up on volume.


A

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:21 PM

Come on, guys! It actually sounds quite a bit like some of the poetic stuff Sarah Palin has come up with in moments of great inspiration, and she's a celebrity. You may be missing the point entirely. If so, think of the embarrassment you will suffer (during the upcoming Palin 8-year presidency) when this new style of free ranging poetry gains wide acceptance and becomes the norm.

Now...umm...FWBR?

Fucked with brown rats?
Flying while bouncing radically?
Feline weight balancing ratios?

What does it mean???

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 01:29 PM

Speaking of acronyms, LH, did you hear about your TGORF award?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 02:12 PM

Ha! HA! HA! ha! ha! ha!

Thanks! I didn't know about it. Man, I was rolling on the floor here for awhile before I could type a response.

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Will Fly
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 02:25 PM

Good try, Spaw, I once spent a whole thread giving a line-by-line critique of WAV's shite verse. To no avail. He will keep reproducing this crap - this unpoetic, dumpy, ungrammatical crap and dubious philosophy until the cows come home. He will never answer a reasoned criticism directly. He will never give a cogent, reasoned response to any serious question. He merely repeats the stuff he drew a line under many years ago.

And you know what? If y'all criticise him, other dear sweet 'Catters will accuse you of being horrid to David, of ganging up on him, of ignoring the good parts of his poesy.

But good try, Spaw. You may have more success in poking your head up your ass - just make sure you get the stubble in... So - HAIL WAV! Spaw and I will now sing your signature tune: "I'm The King Of The Spammers..."

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 02:26 PM

They laughed at Harry Lee Wigley too, Will...

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Will Fly
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 02:42 PM

Geez, LH - if'n I'da known that WAV was like Harry Lee Wigley, then I'da washed ma mouth out wit' soap'n water

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 02:49 PM

You are forgiven, Will... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: catspaw49
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 02:53 PM

" If y'all criticise him, other dear sweet 'Catters will accuse you of being horrid to David, of ganging up on him, of ignoring the good parts of his poesy."

Yeah Will.......Been there, done that, AND got the t-shirt! The stuff has some meaning I guess to others or they just think I'm bullying and assulting his character. I remember your attempts Will and you had far more patience than I and were actually quite diligent and helpful had your advice been taken. I am now simply commenting on his "life's work." Its trash.

No matter how bad though, once or even twice here was fine. This is now at the level of "Ludicrous" having past "Ridiculous" some ways back.

WavyFWBR.........Give it a break...............



Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 03:21 PM

Fly while braiding ringlets?

Four wingnuts blocking (the) road?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 04:50 PM

Not "Fair Well BRethren," I'm afraid!...another day, another ditty..?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 07 Dec 09 - 04:52 PM

Or "Fare Well", even.

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 04:55 AM

Staying with abbreviations...

Poem 224 of 230: THE NATIVITY

Vis-à-vis S.C.,
    I prefer to see
Christian children's glee
    When they play-out the
Coming of J.C. -
    The Nativity.

From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book)
Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll)
(C) David Franks 2003

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 06:36 AM

Hey, I've got a reply for this one! Here it is cut & pasted in true WAV style from the original Walkaboutsverse thread from December 2007 where I posted it under the name Walker-Boots-Vorse (which only makes sense in a Tyneside accent). Anyway...

A NORTHUMBRIAN MIDDLE-SCHOOL EPIPHANY (To be Sung to a Gelinaeu Psalm-Tone)

When I was nine in 1970,
I played Melchior in the school nativity;
I banged a big frame-drum from Bethlehem,
brought back from a Holy Land holiday by Miss Morrison,
who showed me some choice cyclic Arabic rhythms,
that have been with me ever since.

Miss Morrison played upon a shawm,
because she played the English Horn;
though that is only what the Yanks, in their funny way,
call the instrument we Brits know as the Cor Anglais.

From: Walkaboutsverse (Mudcat Thread)
(C) Brian Sedane 2007

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 08 Dec 09 - 08:10 AM

I'd forgotten, frankly, and I thought it was Sean: but, surely, someone can't be blamed for that - God (and perhaps S.) knows how many nicknames there have been! I do recall, on another thread, a certain "TalkAboutWorse."

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: GUEST,Suibhne Astray (and Cookieless)
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 03:01 AM

I see D. Attenborough's doing a Horizon on BBC2 tonight entitled How Many People Can Live on Planet Earth? - right up your street I would imagine, WAV! I think I'll go with Anthony Graham-Dixon's Art of Russia on BBC4 - we have the option of recording, but I've noticed recorded documentaries never get watched. Sit-coms are a different matter of course & if you really want some choice English Classic TV, go with Rising Damp on ITV (Freeview #10) at 7.25, one of my all time favourites. For another slant on the England of the 1970s try On the Buses at 6.50, but only by way of contrast and comparison...

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 05:41 AM

Yes, S., D.A. is one of those prepared to speak out on that touchy, but very important, issue. I used to watch "On the Buses" as a kid, in Sydney; now, close to your place of upbringing:

This is on my myspace player (link below) if anyone would like to hear me recite it...

Poem 187 of 230: A SOUTH SHIELDS WALKABOUT - AUTUMN 2001

Out of the museum-and-gallery
    (Wiser on Cookson and the local way),
Down Ocean Road with, to the right of me,
    Its eateries and, left, neat places to stay;
Before, on either side, Marine Parks -
    The southern-one a most beautiful place,
Teeming with moorhens, swans, grebes and mallards,
    In a small lake at a scenic-hill's base.

Then (holding chips from the parade's cafe
    And, thus, a flock of gulls squawking above)
Onto the South Pier I made my way:
    Seeing seaweed over rocks - like a glove -
And high-and-dry sands held from transgression
    By growth of grass and the weaving of wood,
Plus, in the dim light of a sleepy sun,
    Fishing boats returning to Tynemouth's hood.

From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book)
Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll)
(C) David Franks 2003

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 07:24 AM

I reckon those fishing boats would have been returning to the fish quay at North Shields, WAV - though you used to get the odd coble in Prior's Haven. I was born in North Shields, Preston Hospital, long demolished, and raised between Shiremoor & Blyth. Never a big fan of South Shields myself, a lot of my childhood friends hailed from the Yemeni community - established in the 1890s. Nice walks down to Soutar lighthouse & still-picturesque Whitburn - and Marsden Rock & Grotto is always worth a visit...

Hope you're still getting out & about anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 09 Dec 09 - 04:17 PM

Watching that Horizon programme, "How Many People Can Live On Planet Earth?" (BBC 2), David Attenborough is a supporter of the abovementioned Optimum Population Trust.

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 04:34 AM

The Pre-Budget Report yesterday, from London, reminded me of this...

Poem 82 of 230: ON ACTS 4:32-35

Believers were all one in heart and mind -
    They shared their excesses, giving in kind.
No-one claimed any possessions one's own -
    Yes, it was socialism on the throne.

So not long were there desperate folk -
    Fair distribution was the tongue they spoke.
And wealthy owners would sell part their deed -
    Funds, via apostles, to those in need.

Yet today, all round our troubled earth,
    Some Christians, safe at their own snug hearth,
Vote for their electorate's Right-Wing party -
    That's hypocritical, it seems to me.

From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book)
Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll)
(C) David Franks 2003

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 02:27 PM

Fermenting wallabies bring rain?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 03:03 PM

Ah yes, LH - back to Spaws cryptic cross words: "FWBR"..?

Fair Weather Before Rain..?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 03:28 PM

Fling Wildly Before Retiring?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 10 Dec 09 - 05:16 PM

Fasten Well Before Riding?

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 11 Dec 09 - 06:04 AM

Poem 144 of 230: LINGOLF

(TUNE:

Eb G G G A A
A Bb C' C' C' Bb
Eb F G A A A
F A Bb G G G)

Your honour, Your Honour.
    Watch out - he's a burglar.
I'm to school on your putt.
    That's one heck of a cut!

It's my bread and butter -
    A left-to-right cutter.
That's where elephants die.
    That's a grave - not a lie.

I'm in the old plumb-duff;
    Tough - I'm on the cut-stuff.
The hooks with my driver,
    And fades with my putter.

There's a goalie in there.
    Trees are some nine-tenths air.
I have a soldier's plight -
    Always left, right, left, right.

Everything was fine -
    Apart from weight and line.
It took a member's bounce.
    A rare bird to announce.

An unlucky horseshoe.
    Had a look - liked the view.
Poetry in motion.
    Read with blind devotion.

He's just hit a cracker.
    I'm only a hacker.
I wish I'd missed the well.
    A fried-egg where it fell.

A crop of a divot.
    It was speed that killed it.
Your wedges land so neat -
    Butterflies with sore feet.

Like pitching in pudding.
    Never up, never in.
Drive for show, put for dough.
    Can't beat bad luck, you know.

He's just missed a gimme.
    That, then, would be dormy.
It went in the side-door.
    A Bradman of a score.

Just spoiled a good walk.
    Can't play, but can he talk!
'Twas daylight robbery.   
    Not "how" but "how many."

The nineteenth's not too far -
Have a jar at the bar..?

From http://blogs.myspace.com/walkaboutsverse (e-book)
Or http://walkaboutsverse.sitegoz.com (e-scroll)
(C) David Franks 2003

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 11 Dec 09 - 10:55 AM

Can I just say that I despise golf & regard golf courses as a worse blight on the countryside than wind-farms? Not that it matters one mashie niblick what I think of course. If ever you get a chance to watch Dead of Night (1945) pay special attention to the Golfing Story, which is by one H.G.Wells. Or you might watch it on YouTube:

DoN Golfing Story Part One: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KNcrpKBlOUQ

DoN Golfing Story Part Two: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UAdrJ59ufDI

Crichton's cinematography is particular stunning on a big screen as I found out some years ago when there was a showing at The Tyneside. In fact, it's rather reminiscent of that 1929 Morris Dancing footage - chance or design? Judge for yourself:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CuqhEix8lGY

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Jack Blandiver
Date: 11 Dec 09 - 10:58 AM

Oops.

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 11 Dec 09 - 12:38 PM

There has been quite a lot of controversy over course construction - especially in areas of low rainfall where a lot of this scarce resource is needed. But, when they do go ahead, I think it's definitely good to grow as many natives as possible in the rough - for the benefit of native fauna, i.e.

And, for similar "green" reasons, I support wind-farm construction - in most cases.

Subject: RE: BS: WalkaboutsVerse Anew
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 09 - 12:51 PM

Forthrightness Will Bring Results?