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BS: oh Canada!!!
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Subject: oh Canada!!! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 19 Apr 01 - 04:41 PM Canada Rules!!! So, what do Canadians have to be proud of? 1. Smarties 2. Crispy Crunch & Coffee Crisp 3. The greater length of our footballs fields and one less down to get across it in 4. Baseball is Canadian 5. Lacrosse is Canadian 6. Hockey is Canadian 7. Basketball is Canadian 8. Apple pie is Canadian 9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass 10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass 11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back... past their 'White House'. Then we burned it... and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied. 12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany. 13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere. 14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour. 15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing...but showed up just in time to get caught. 16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on. 17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company. 18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. 19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo. 20. We don't marry our kin-folk. (except in Dubreilville and Timmins, hence Shania Twain) 21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year. 22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it. BUT MOST IMPORTANT! 23. ....the handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOOoohhhhh Canada!!... Oh yeah, and our elections only take one day. ;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: CarolC Date: 19 Apr 01 - 04:55 PM Not bad, eh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Lepus Rex Date: 19 Apr 01 - 04:58 PM 24. Mullets. ---Lepus Rex |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 04:59 PM hahahahahahahahaha !!!! Thanks. I take back everything I ever thought about you, but was afraid to ask !! |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Bert Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:02 PM Not that you don't have a right to be proud, 'course you do, Canada is a great country, but don't diminish your argument by claiming what is know to have originated elsewhere. 4. Baseball is derived from, and is recognizable as, an old game called rounders that was played in England long before there was a Canada. 8. Apple pie? Thought that was English. 11. Canadians actually are the only people in the world who know anything about the war of 1812. No one else knows who started it, who won it or even what it was fought for. 21.Penicillin was known in England for many hundreds of years. Trouble is that many doctors who used it were burned as witches. It was known, and I should imagine it was also used, in France as it is what gives Roquefort Cheese it's blue veining. 23. But when are you going to learn to brew a beer that's worth carrying home? |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: mousethief Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:03 PM Baseball is Canadian? This is like that thing where the Soviets claimed to invent everything before the West, right? Guess that game the boys were playing during the recent unplesantness between the States wasn't baseball. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Little Hawk Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:07 PM ROTFLMAO!!!! Clinton, you should get the Order of Canada for posting that list! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Clinton Hammond Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:07 PM We brew the best beer in north america, that's fer sure! LOL!! How do you know yer too tighly wound?? You find yourself correcting a bit of fun like this!!! *sigh* |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: GUEST,Rob O. Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:13 PM "So, what do Canadians have to be proud of?" That Clinton Hammond's rudeness, always rationalized as "telling it like it is" is NOT a national characteristic. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Bert Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:14 PM Aw! we gotta have some fun with you too you know. Tell us about that beer. I used to think that US beer was awful 'till we started getting micro breweries. Now we can buy really good beer. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Bert Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:18 PM OK. Rob O. He wasn't being rude with this post - He's just having fun. And despite his *sigh*, this thread is calling for response. Feel free to join in the fun. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: George Seto - af221@chebucto.ns.ca Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:27 PM Bert, a lot of Americans take home MORE than the legal limit of Keith's Beer, every year. Does that count? |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:31 PM Alex, on July 4, 1838, in Beachville, Ontario, the first game of modern rules baseball was played, nearly a year before Abner Doubleday was credited with inventing the game of baseball. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: GUEST Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:35 PM Clinton, one of your points is: "12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany." If you actually know your Canadian history, you'll recall that during World War II, much of the French Canadian leadership in both the provincial government of Quebec and the then-all-powerful Catholic Church, were highly supportive of France's Vichy Regime of Nazi puppets, and, in some cases, the Nazis themselves. French Canadians also violently rioted against the conscription (draft) of French Canadians into the army to fight the Nazis during WWII. If German forces had actually made it across the ocean, there would have been no need for surrender, they would have been welcomed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:35 PM Bert, magic mushrooms will get you witches and blue veins, too, but to fight infection, medicinal penicillin works better. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Mr Red Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:41 PM bert Canada mill (make) some pretty creditable ciders particularly In Quebec. As for Beer - I'm no expert but I do remember even exiled Brits rating "Upper Canada Ale". & doesn't an ex member of Lindisfarne brew real ale in T'ronto? Or Scarbro'? I think he calls it the Lake brewery. Bottoms up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: flattop Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:43 PM 19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo. We don't want to know what you're doing with that part of the buffalo, Clinton. 20. We don't marry our kin-folk. (except in Dubreilville and Timmins, hence Shania Twain) Not when you got a good buffalo. 18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes. How long does it take full grown human to devour a dog sled team? |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:45 PM Depends on how much further you got to go. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Bert Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:47 PM George, I've never heard of Keith's Beer. Next time I visit Dad I'll look out for it. gnu, ...first game of modern rules baseball... Does this mean that every time someone updates the rules they can claim credit for inventing the game. That would make the history of soccer quite interesting;-) and...medicinal penicillin works better... maybe, but in the dark ages, when mouldy bread was all you had that's what you used, even if the penicillin content was not always consistent. And where are those magic mushrooms - gimme some;-) |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:48 PM flattop... as a cdn, didn't you have to read "When The Sparrow Falls" in grade school ? Certainly you wouldn't use the whole team, would you ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Bert Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:49 PM Mr. Red, I'll be on the lookout for those too. I'd better get Tree used to the idea of having to drive home. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: flattop Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:52 PM Never read "When The Sparrow Falls," gnu. Can you give us a synopsis? |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: mousethief Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:54 PM Well I'll be hornswaggled. Score one for the 'Nuckers. Of course writing down the rules isn't quite the same thing as inventing the thing -- and nobody ever really believed that Doubleday invented it. I'd be interested in seeing the pre-1838 history of the game to see where it really arose. So what was wrong with you Canucks that you couldn't develop a professional league before we did? Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:56 PM bert... no, just the first time. As for the shrooms, I understand they are big in BC and PEI. I saw shrooms when I attended UNB in Fredericton, NB. I recall the lads making a spaghetti sauce with PEI shrooms and watching them about two hours later, tripping to no end. UNB has a lovely campus. They each climbed a tree in front of the "Old Arts Building" and were just sitting up in the trees laughing. Twas good for a lark perhaps, but I spent one whole night trying to convince one of my best friends that his ID picture was actually him - bad stuff !!! Give me a few ales and a session anyday. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Bert Date: 19 Apr 01 - 05:58 PM History of rounders - very brief. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: mousethief Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:02 PM Okay, so "rounders" existed in 1828 in England, and "baseball" (I'm taking your word for it that the rules promulgated by your pre-Doubleday Canadian dude make it baseball more than just in name) in Canada in 1838. This leaves a lot of history to be made up, and not just 10 years! Fascinated to learn all this stuff, Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:13 PM flattop... re Sparrow... all hands are starving... Nanook goes after the Caribou with the Raven as spiritual guide... he breaks through the ice and gets wet in 75 below weather... he kills a sled dog, cuts him open and warms his frost bitten hands... gets the Bou so near death he slits it's throat and drinks the blood with nanoseconds to spare before he blacks out and dies from starvation. A real literary classic. Pretty gross for most young kids and many adults, too. Alex, you are right. Leave it to the yanks to capitalize on a good business idea, even if the sport of it was cdn. But don't forget that in 1876 and 1877, the London Tecumsehs beat the Chicago White Stockings and the International Association's champion team from Pittsburgh, so the Blue Jays are just copycats !
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: mousethief Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:15 PM You go Tecumsehs! Is there still a team with that name? Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Mrs.Duck Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:16 PM If I drink Keith's beer he gets upset! |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: mousethief Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:17 PM In London, ON, I mean. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Bert Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:18 PM Alex, according to that site, the first reference was 1744. I'm sure there's many more informative sites out there. Personally I don't care too much for the game. That round bat always stikes me as being a particularly stupid device, I never could hit the bloody ball with it. Perhaps one day someone will have enough common sense to invent a bat that has flat area that is suitable for hitting a ball. And when I was growing up in England it was considered a girl's game, so I only got to play it when coerced by my sisters. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:21 PM bert... it's called a sqush raquet. or a tennis raquet, if you're a sissy. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: mousethief Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:21 PM That round bat always stikes me as being a particularly stupid device, I never could hit the bloody ball with it. Ah. Anything you can't do isn't worth doing, eh? Seems thousands -- nay, millions of Americans (USA-ians) can hit the ball with the round bat, as softball, which uses a round bat, has millions of amateur adherents in the USofA. So it can't be all THAT hard. How many thumbs do you have, Bert? Now if you can't hit a ball with a CRICKET bat, which is designed for limeys with a poor feel for dynamic physics, then you're REALLY a klutz. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:23 PM Oops ! SquAsh raquet. squAsh... the ultimate game. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Bert Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:25 PM No I'm a designer who can recognize a poorly designed tool. Just because millions of people use it, doesn't make it good. Look at Microsoft Word for rice cake. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: mousethief Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:31 PM Can it be that making it challenging to use is not a design flaw, but a design target? Sports shouldn't be TOO easy. I mean if all that mattered were hitting the damned ball, you could use something really HUGE. Part of the idea is to make it more difficult to hit the ball. Not understanding the specs, how can you criticize the outcome of the design process? Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:36 PM Gee, I wonder how a flat tipper would sound on my new Hran.... sorry, Bodhran. Kinda brushy, maybe ? |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: mousethief Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:38 PM Further, a round bat creates two outcomes much less likely with a flatter bat: 1. the ground ball, and 2. the pop fly. these make fielding the ball easier, and make the game go a lot quicker. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 19 Apr 01 - 06:39 PM 26. We got a load of fresh water. Although you have to use an ice pick to get at most of it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Kelticgrasshopper Date: 19 Apr 01 - 07:29 PM Okey, The best Beer.. Shreddies, PEI, BUT what about music... Lets say Natalie MacMaster, Gordie Sampson, Richard Wood, J.P. Cormier, The Chaisson Family, Anne Murray, and on and on.. O Canada.. You are the best of the best |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Rick Fielding Date: 19 Apr 01 - 08:53 PM HEY! That Lindesfarne Brewery Guy is right across the street from us! We've had a few bottles of the home made stuff from his establishment. He has these Gold records up on the wall, but I don't think very many customers know what Lindesfarne was. Their loss. Rick |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: GUEST,elg Date: 19 Apr 01 - 09:04 PM In the spirit of bi-national bipartisanship, one might well note the MANY things that Canada and the U.S. have done TOGETHER. From the profoundly important (taking 3 of the 5 invasion beaches in the Normandy Invasion of 1944, the first definitive assault on the obscene evil of Nazi Germany) to the recreational (co-inventing North American football; the first game being a Harvard-McGill match in the spring of 1874, using new game rules distinguishably distinct from those of soccer or rugby) to the trivial (the new U.S. golden dollar coin being pretty much a copy of the "loonie") to the indispensible (the North American power grid, which feeds electricity back and forth to meet power demands on both sides of the border). |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: flattop Date: 19 Apr 01 - 09:29 PM Yes we almost forgot, elg. McGill, the only portable toilet company with its own university. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: Bert Date: 20 Apr 01 - 12:11 AM ...make the game go a lot quicker... Ah! so THAT's why a good game of cricket takes 3 days! And I know I'm gonna take some flack for this, but I LIKE Gordon Lightfoot. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: catspaw49 Date: 20 Apr 01 - 01:22 AM Far out Clinton............ So, what do Canadians have to be proud of?
1. Smarties
2. Crispy Crunch & Coffee Crisp
3. The greater length of our footballs fields and one less down to get across it in
4. Baseball is Canadian
5. Lacrosse is Canadian
6. Hockey is Canadian
7. Basketball is Canadian
8. Apple pie is Canadian
9. Mr. Dress-up kicks Mr. Rogers ass
10. Tim Hortons kicks Dunkin' Donuts ass
11. In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back... past their 'White House'. Then we burned it... and most of Washington, under the command of William Lyon McKenzie who was insane and hammered all the time. We got bored because they ran away, so we came home and partied.
12. Canada has the largest French population that never surrendered to Germany.
13. We have the largest English population that never ever surrendered or withdrew during any war to anyone, anywhere.
14. Our civil war was a bar fight that lasted a little over an hour.
15. The only person who was arrested in our civil war was an American mercenary, who slept in and missed the whole thing...but showed up just in time to get caught.
16. We knew plaid was cool far before Seattle caught on.
17. The Hudsons Bay Company once owned over 10% of the earth's surface and is still around as the world's oldest company.
18. The average dog sled team can kill and devour a full grown human in under 3 minutes.
19. We still know what to do with all the parts of a buffalo.
20. We don't marry our kin-folk. (except in Dubreilville and Timmins, hence Shania Twain)
21. We invented ski-doos, jet-skis, velcro, zippers, insulin, penicillin, zambonis, the telephone and short wave radios that save countless lives each year.
22. We ALL have frozen our tongues to something metal and lived to tell about it. BUT MOST IMPORTANT!
23. ....the handles on our beer cases are big enough to fit your hands with mitts on. OOOOoohhhhh Canada!!...
Oh yeah, and our elections only take one day. Spaw
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: CarolC Date: 20 Apr 01 - 02:23 AM I'd like to know what Crispy Crunch & Coffee Crisp is/are. They sound good... |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: mousethief Date: 20 Apr 01 - 05:11 AM In the war of 1812, started by America, Canadians pushed the Americans back.. Did Canada exist in 1812? I thought y'all didn't win your independence until the 1970's. Oh you mean Citizens of the United Kingdom pushed the Americans back? Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: GUEST,skarpi at work Date: 20 Apr 01 - 06:55 AM Halló all, hey you forgot you a hole lot of Icelandic people In Canada. just had to add this on the thread. all the best skarpi Iceland. |
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 20 Apr 01 - 07:43 AM Spaw.. #4 - got to keep some cleaning rags and Windex on my desk to wipe my tea off the screen. ROTFLMAO. #15 - Actually, there is a statue of Brock looking "south" and pointing to where the Yanks were driven back. Unfortunately, as I recall a tour guide saying, the pointing finger, weighing four ( ? ) tons, cracked and fell off some ( 40, 50, more ? ) years ago. I think it killed an American tourist. Anyone near Brockville know the story ? perhaps I dreamt it ? twas about thirty years ago that I was there.
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Subject: RE: BS: oh Canada!!! From: gnu Date: 20 Apr 01 - 07:54 AM Guest,elg said...In the spirit of bi-national bipartisanship, one might well note the MANY things that Canada and the U.S. have done TOGETHER. From the profoundly important (taking 3 of the 5 invasion beaches in the Normandy Invasion of 1944, the first definitive assault on the obscene evil of Nazi Germany)... Right on. Sounds like a great idea for a thread. Re Normandy in '44.... let's not forget the Canadians who died at Dieppe in August of '42 so that Normandy could succeed. For those who don't recall the Dieppe Raid, try this.... http://198.103.134.2/general/sub.cfm?source=history/secondwar/dieppe |