BS: Am I turning girly?

Subject: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 05:53 PM

Dear Aunty Clare

I am a red blooded English male with a wife of 31 years and a family of 5. Trouble is I have just realised I have been enjoying Coronation Street (See 'Fight the Ban' thread). What's more I was lay on the sofa, with a cusion and a piece of chocolate cake! My only saving grace was that I also had a glass of whisky and I am dying from a cold.

What do you think? Am I turning girly? Do you think I am becoming gay? Whay should I do to regain my stature...

Yours despondantly

Dave the Gnome

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 05:57 PM

Don't bother. Girly guys are better...

Coronation Street, however..tsk, tsk!

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 05:58 PM

DtG, there's just no doubt about it. It is how it begins. Sad. :~)

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Once Famous
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 05:59 PM

DTG

Please don't tell me that you are starting to sit down when you pee.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: freda underhill
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:01 PM

if you're lucky, you are..

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:02 PM

Hehehe - Only if I think I am going to fall over, Martin.

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: CarolC
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:03 PM

Who is Auntie Clare?

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:03 PM

Maybe some of that radical aversion therapy they tried in Clockwork Orange, o my brother and vredded droog? Have your rassoodock cheested.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:05 PM

Oh, if you are turning girly...remember, always wipe from front to back!

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:10 PM

Eeeeeucchhhh - BI - Too much information!

Aunty Clare is a generic agony aunt.

I will only go for that Kubrick therapy if it involves brides in their undergarments...

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Metchosin
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:11 PM

Oh hell, I'm a red blooded Canadian woman with a husband of 32 years and a family of two and I've got a sinus headache, had to assist putting down a horse last week, watched Touching the Void on TV last night, dismantled the packing crate on a damaged lift of roofing material with a crow bar this morning and it still hasn't made a man of me. Chin up.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: GUEST,John O'Lennaine
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:21 PM

Maybe Metchosin and Dave could do a swap for a while?

Find our how the other half lives?

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:26 PM

Whereabouts in Canada, Metchosin? Son £3 is in St Stephen, New Brunswick at the mo.

D.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Blissfully Ignorant
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:38 PM

One can never be to informed about genital hygeine...:0)

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Sorcha
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:41 PM

LOL! Good Bliss!

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Clinton Hammond
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:45 PM

"Am I turning girly? Do you think I am becoming gay?"

The two are NOT the same thing...

But if you have to ask, then the answer is likely 'Yes'....

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Metchosin
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:45 PM

About as far away from New Brunswick as you can get and still be in Canada, Dave, I'm on Vancouver Island in BC.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:48 PM

Ahhh- OK, Met. Clinton - I hate you! I am even more confused now!

:D

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: George Papavgeris
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 06:52 PM

DTG, just pop your clothes on the chair behind the screen, and I'll be round in a minute to examine you....

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 07:08 PM

Eeeek - We all know what you Greeks are like!

(Scene in 'Spitting Image' years ago. Queen and prince Philip in bed.

You need to draw some attention away from the Children, Philip.

What! Are you mad, woman? How do I do that?

Well... You could say you are gay.

Gay! I'm not gay1 Why would I say that?

Well. You are Greek and they invented it....)

Cheers

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Ebbie
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 07:56 PM

Sidesweep... Metchosin, was that the one about the mountain climbers? I saw the last half or so. Riveting. But it made me cry.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Alba
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 08:30 PM

Not answering for you Metchosin...but I am...lol
Yes Ebbie, Touching the Void is the Film about the Climbers. Grim Tale that you want to stop watching but can't... astounding story. I cried too.
DtG...
I couldn't say if your turning Girly....but you really must be sick......Coronation Street....next it will be Eastenders then you REALLY have a problem:>)
Blissy...good advice there...
Blessings
Jude

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: GUEST
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 08:57 PM

Run the f.g up the pole and see if you salute.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 08:57 PM

I get the impression from my Radio Times that right now Coronation Street is in the middle of some high-octane plot with people burning down houses over other people's head and all that stuff. A Flame War in fact.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Mudlark
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 09:14 PM

Oh, DtG, you have no idea how lucky you are to be ABLE to get Cor(o)nation St. It was on TV here in the US for a while several years ago, then disappeared and life...at least life at 8-9PM has not been the same since. I think you should come to Calfornia, and consult with our governor....who has the last word on girly men, one of his favorite epithets (oh, the shame of it!). Fess up to The Terminator, let him decide, then....go for it! (Whatever it is...)

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 10:09 PM

Time to ask yourself some hard questions, mate.


Will I give up control of the TV remote?

Will I admit when I'm lost?

Will I ask for directions?

Do I think the Three Stooges are completely unfunny?

Do I put the toilet seat back down in the dead of night?

When I take the car to the garage, will I stay in the waiting room?

Will I choose Ferraro Roche over fish & chips?

Would you drink through a straw?




Answer yes to any 2 of those and you might officially begin to worry.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Peace
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 10:10 PM

DtG: I don't think so, but are you busy this Friday night?

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 10:15 PM

DtG,

As long as you don't pee when you sit down.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Peace
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 10:45 PM

Jaysus, Rap. Don't place that condition on it all. I have hit the age where I pee when I sit, stand, walk, run, sleep, eat, think--well, I won't go on. DtG, don't worry about the pee thing. So, about Friday . . . .

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 10:52 PM

One from Red Green:


"I'm at the age where taking a pee is like watching the fireworks on Canada Day... It seems to take forever to start, then there's lot of ooh-ing and ah-ing, and then you're never quite sure when it's finished."

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Metchosin
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 10:52 PM

LOL!

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: MAG
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 11:05 PM

Who is laboring (labouring) under the delusion that wimen get to loll around watching delightful TV (tube) shows eating chocolate cake?

It sounds lovely but it hasn't been my life.

MAG (spent the day off shredding leaves, fixing the shredder, shredding leaves, fixing the shredder ...)

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Peace
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 11:09 PM

A man would just shred the leaves. When the shredder broke, he'd get a beer and consider the situation. Then get another beer, then another then another. OK, so it's five minutes later and now he's drunk. The leaves will keep. That's a fact.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: GUEST,Aunty Clare
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 11:10 PM

Dear Dave,
To regain your stature? Dear God boy, get off your bottom and your sofa. Do some push-ups. Mate your mate. Above all, stop that chocolate whiskey high your on. It's making you sound girly and gay.

                                        With fond wishes,
                                             Aunty Clare

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Metchosin
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 11:32 PM

Dear Aunty Clare,

I've grown a few whiskers on my chin, recounted a few hunting tails...er ...tales, pissed standing up, knocked back quite a few beers and still failed to be recognized as a man. Am I doing something wrong too?

Yours, alas, half a man,
Metchosin

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Cluin
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 11:51 PM

Metchosin, I think we got drunk together at a corn roast in 1980. Were you in the Forestry program at Lakehead U.?

Sorry about leaving you with my roommate. But I really tought you were both too far gone to notice and besides, YOUR roommate was really cute.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Peace
Date: 22 Nov 04 - 11:53 PM

Spoken like a true Canadian.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Metchosin
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 12:13 AM

aw Cluin, so sorry to disappoint, but it wasn't me that night, because if it was, it would have been before I sprouted whiskers and I doubt you'd have ever abandoned me to a room mate, drunk or no.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Peace
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 12:19 AM

Spoken like another true Canadian.

God, I love this country.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 12:20 AM

Damn, still have step 8 to get through. Thought I could cross her off the list. Oh well... the search goes on.

At least that night I did SOMEthing good. I stopped a buddy's guitar from being thrown on the bonfire, cas and all.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: GUEST,Aunty Clare
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 12:28 AM

Dear Metchosin,
You are woman, hear yourself roar? My dear you are a fine woman and you must know, it is the men of this world that have taken from women, the right to stand and pee. So knock back those beers my dear and start a new day by pissing in the wind with the boys.
As for your sinus headache-sniff peppermint oil and the whiskers on your chin are noble and deserve their righteous place exactly where they are.

                                    With fond wishes,
                                        Aunty Clare

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Metchosin
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 12:50 AM

And that, drunk or no Cluin I would have applauded. There are sometimes priorities in life on a par with sex and at least as memorable.

Thank you so much Aunty Clare for the reaffirmation and someday maybe I will have the courage or the outright indifference not to pluck.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 12:55 AM

I just wish I didn't have to jump in the fire to do it. It was about a month before the burns on my left hand healed enough to play my own guitar again. I missed it a lot, especially leading up to midterms.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Metchosin
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 01:09 AM

oooo.....its amazing what some will go through to rescue a good guitar.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Cluin
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 01:19 AM

I must be twisted or something. I dunno if I'd have jumped in the flames for the girl. I didn't get lucky with her anyway; she was in Nursing and ended up washing and wrapping my fingers. If that wasn't an ice-breaker nothing was.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: MBSLynne
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 02:48 AM

"I'm a lumberjack and I'm ok...."

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Davetnova
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 03:42 AM

Anybody can piss standing up. But after a heavy session by the campfire it can be useful to be able to pee lying down.

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: GUEST,Boab
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 03:56 AM

---regain yer stature? Jeeze Dave---ye maun be gey wee if ye're a Gnome tae start wi'!!!:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 04:43 AM

As I think I've said on here before, I remember 3 chemically enhanced girls at a party way back when, have a peeing standing up competition. A bit dribbly but uproariously funny, mind you we were all under the influence.
Like BI says direction of wiping is important, unless you like peeing boiling water laced with razor blades.
Stay away from East Enders if you are prone to depression, and you like decent acting.

Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Am I turning girly?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Nov 04 - 09:26 AM

Now, back in me college days, when I was wild and free and could drink anyone anywhere under the table, I remember when Trudy and Gretch and Mary and...and...who was that?...anyway, these four girls got ahold of some...that stuff we used to smoke...you know...it wasn't tobacco...anyway, they decided that they'd challenge the guys to a contest to see who could...oh, yeah, piss over a fence, that was it...it was back in the '60s, as I remember, maybe around '65 or '66 or it could have been '67...so anyway, they won but the guys said that they cheated and...oh, DAMN those nights, they've taken 'way my brain...anyway, the girls won and beat the guys in the pissing over the church...no, it was a fence, wasn't it?...contest...but last time I talked to him Steve still said they cheated but I said that they won fair and square.