BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 03:58 PM

I might be bein' cut, Bobert ol' buddy. This here knee of mine got a shot of cortisone and lidocaine on Tuesday and the swelling went down but it still hurts. Sometimes when I walk it feels like...well, make your hands into fists and then rub the knuckles together: it feels kinda like that. I think there's a buncha crap in there that should come out, maybe some repairs gotta be done too.

See, I wasn't made to put up with pain. Pain don't do anything for me at all. Yeah, I know, you might be one of those who like to tied up and have Things done to ya, but it ain't my bag.

Besides, wouldn't you really rather play yer gitter?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Amos
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 04:22 PM

Make them show you the pictures ahead of time to prove the need, Bobert, and before you leave make them give you any parts they took out to prove they done it.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 04:23 PM

And make sure they use official parts, and none of your generic cheap replacements.
G

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Sorcha
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 04:29 PM

Bobert, what you have been doing isn't working. It's time to do something else......possibly EVEN cutting on you!!!! Now, jes do it. You is a Big Brave Boy. P-Vine will even hold your hand.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 04:38 PM

Hey, wait jus' a dog-gone minute here, y'all... Jus' 'cause the drugs and the PT ain't worked don't mean that I need no cuttin' on...

Maybe just a cortizone shot 'er two and I be back to my ol' self in a couple days...

The MRI oughtta tell us what's what...

I mean, I ain't like some overwieght couch potato, 'er nuthin'... Them folks is the ones they gotta cut up on to get 'um mobile 'nuff to make it to the frigabater... That ain't me... I'z a skinny guy... Too skinny even to cut on...

That's me story fir now...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 04:42 PM

Your ol' self, surely you want to improve Bobert?

G ;)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 05:16 PM

You callin' me OH-bees?? There ain't nothin' fat about me 'ceptin' what's between ma ears -- and my wife told me that so it's gotta be true. She ain't hardly ever lied ta me that I caught her at.

Seriously, if the MRIs show the need for cuttin', you can get a second opinion. But if the docs agree, let 'em whittle away.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 06:26 PM

Shoot, Rap... I din't call you fat... Okay, maybe yer wife did and maybe she's knows ya' better than me...

An' yeah, anybody wanta cut me up gonna have to get the P=Vine's approval first and that ain't gonna be easy... She ainh't afraid of doctors 'cause her daddy was a doctor his ownself... And the P-Vine goes to my appointments just to keep them doctors walkin' the straight and narrow...

Yeah, first one that threatens to cut on me is gonna find himself on the floor wonderin' jus' how a 130 pound woman can hit so hard... That's almost be worth havin one say, "Well, Bobert, I gotta cut on you..."

Yazzir... Think I'd enjoy watching that little situation unfold...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 06:32 PM

Good for her (P-Vine). I am highly suspicious about the prevalence of a lot of unnecessary surgery in this society, Bobert, so I'm on your side when it comes to this one. Follow your own best instincts. Surgery is the LAST option, as far as I'm concerned. Human bodies can usually repair themselves over a period of time, given the right encouragement.

Yes, there are some exceptions, of course, so if anyone wishes to remind me of that too...hey...I already know it.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:11 PM

Now, that's odd. My wife went to the doctor with me when I went in to have my knee looked at. She wanted to keep him on the S&N herself -- and not only has she had a LOT of very necessary surgery (cancer at 17, or 47 years ago), she's a lawyer.

Do you know how afeared doctors are of lawyers???

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: bobad
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:28 PM

Don't ya just love the expertise of Mudcatters, hell the next time some know nothing surgeon tells me I need surgery I'm gonna tell him/her to hold on, I'm getting a second opinion from Mudcat.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:39 PM

Everybody's afeared of lawyers, Rap. ;-)

And why do I see a bunch of uninvolved third parties trying to persuade Bobert to have surgery when he clearly doesn't want it, bobad? And when they aren't experiencing what he is experiencing, and therefore aren't in a position to make his decisions FOR him? That's what I'm objecting to here, not doctors.

It isn't a doctor that's trying to persuade Bobert to get surgery here...it's some non-doctors on a frikkin' internet forum!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Sorcha
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:48 PM

Actually, I just said that whatever he HAS been doing is obviously not working, and it's time to do something else, and that MIGHT include a surgery....he shouldn't just dismiss it out of hand.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 07:59 PM

Right. I'll agree with that, Sorcha. So far, he doesn't seem very positive about the idea of surgery, but as you say, it might be an option. So might a number of other things.

I've had a shoulder bothering me for, oh, a couple of months at least. Irritated rotator cuff. The chiropractor gave me some stretches to do each day, and I'm gradually easing it out and getting those irritated muscles to relax and settle down. As they relax more, they stop hurting. It's getting better steadily.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 08:08 PM

Heck, Sorch, yer right...

If I need surgery I'll juist tell the doc that I'm fonna either do it myself 'er have Rap do it... Heck, he even provides the bullet to chomp down on... Can't beat that, can ya'...

But right now, cuttin' would be my last resort... I been thru lotta stuff in my life, including 6 months in a polio ward, and I ain't been cut on yet...

Okay, if after I have done absolutely everything else, includin' chiroprators, acupunctureres, cannibus, medictation, PT, thi chi, and bowin' down to Mecca and I'z still messed up then I'll get Rap here to assist or supervise 'er whatever..

BTW, this little electrical tinglin' in my right hand is starting to grow on me... The pain sucks but the tinglin' is kinda different... I could live with it... Kinda like havin' ones fingers in a light socket... Nop, it ain't cool but it's different...

Gotta go lie down now...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 08:17 PM

No advice here, Bobert. Go with your instincts. Meantime I keep you in my thoughts and prayers.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Feb 08 - 09:07 PM

Surgery should ALWAYS be a last resort. Hell, they're gonna cut into your body and probably cut something out of it! But don't reject it out of hand. It might be the only way.

By the way, the cancer my wife had is rarely treated by surgery these days. It certainly wouldn't be treated as hers was, with a radical dissection of the neck. But that was then and this is now and she's alive and I'm danged glad she is.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Skivee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 12:34 AM

Bobert, I think you're right about not needing them doctors to treat you.
I looked up your symtoms in my "Big Picture Book Of Medical Stuff" and I think I know what's going on. It's either a touch of Nile River Lung Worm, or you have Schistosomiasis Bilhartsia of the rotator cuff.
It's not real clear, but you mighta got one or t'other from eating uncooked bear meat from Egypt.
I'm sure the rest of my Muddoctor collegues will back me up.
Now that we cleared that up, just send a check for whatever you think is fair.
Here's hopin' you feel better soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:15 AM

Well, gol danged, Skivz... No wonder that bear looked so wored out when I shot him... I'd be wored out, too, if I had just swam all the way from Egypt...

Weren't much meat on the sumabich either... But what there was was mighty tastey...

B;~)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:28 AM

Bilhartsia is a water borne infection, so stick to the shine, and avoid drinking water Bobert.

G

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 08:46 AM

What exactly is this "water" thing yer talkin' about, G??? You don't mean that stuff that the toilet, do ya??? Folks drenk that stuff???
Wow...

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Tweed
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 09:05 AM

It's the right arm Bobert?? The one you hold the 30/06 up against while shooting bears, bottles and other critters??

Bad Karma bro and this needs Reverse Karmic Reconsolidation Maneuvers.

First, remove the wood stocks from all your rifles and shotguns and burn them along with any of the bear's bones. Use a seal blubber accelerant to make sure everything is consumed and apply a liberal coat of the ash/blubber remains to your whole body, then string all the barrels and metal hardware into windchimes and on breezy nights, dance nekkid in the moonlight to the tunes it makes. This won't heal yore right arm but will keep anything from screwing with the left one.

As for surgury, I can't tell you nothin' as I am not keen on that either. Hope you gets better before you have to think seriously about that. I do know three of the local redneck hunters that I work with who've had to do rotor cuff surgury and I think it's got somethin' to do with recoil slamming into their armpits. I don't shoot, and I ain't had it and I've done the same work as they do for 28 years. Yas, yas, not very scientific but sorta makes sense in a motherwit way.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 10:09 AM

I appreciate that cure ya' got there Tweezer... I was thinkin' somethin' along them lines...

But, yeah, it's my right arm but I've always shot left handed 'cause my right eye don't see right... I also used to bat left handed when I thought I was gonna one day be a New York Yankee but I can bat rightie, too... Just can't hit nuthin' rightie either battin' or shootin'...

Thing that pisses me off the most is that I can't play no gitfiddle at all... Might az well burn them sumabiches with the seal blubber, right???

Nevermind...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Tweed
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 10:29 AM

Well nevermind my long range diagnosis then but try the wind chime cure anyway.

And being as politically correct as I am, I think you should not burn your guitars but think GREEN and recycle them by sending them all down here to the sandbar. I will play them until my shoulder falls off like yores has and nurture them as if they was mine own. You can hang on to the Regal Reso though, as I have one with a serial number not far off from yores.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 06:56 PM

Be looking fir 'um any day now, Tweezer... I'll have someone take the Regal down to the scrap yard... Maybe they can melt it down and make a new Chevette 'er somethin'...

Been readin' up on this stuff here in the innernet and looks like after the MRI Iz gonna get me a shot 'er two... Heck, if I had the cortizone I'd do it myeslf right here and now...

Where's my ice pack???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Mar 08 - 10:56 PM

See, Bobert, I done had the shot. Man shot my knee with some freeze stuff to cool it down so's I wouldn't feel the needle much (and I didn't) and filled the knee joint up with a mixture of cortisone and lidocaine. Stuff looked like skim milk in the hypo. Felt like the joint was all full of liquid, which it was. Kinda like if you was a water balloon. Didn't really hurt any and he even put a bandaid on it. If you was nice you could probably git a Square Bob Spongepants bandaid or one of them kinds.

The shot took down the swelling and helped with the pain the swelling caused, but I still got trouble. Now in a week or so I gotta call him and arrange for an MRI and maybe surgery, if things don't git better instead.

Like I told Amos over in the MOAB, this has fixed it so I can't play my trumpet. That's cause I play the trumpet with my toes.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 09:17 AM

Sheeet fire, Rap...

Sounds like you ain't gonna be up to operatin' on me either...

Knees is differenter than what I think I got... I think I juts got some nerves twistercated up in my armpit... Maybe got tangled up with a tenden 'er muscle 'er somethin'... But then again the P-Vine thinks I might have a buldgng disc in my back...

I'll know soemthin' this week...

You take care of that knee, ya' hear???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:10 PM

Got to, Bobert. Ain't nobody else gonna, 'cepting Pat, and she's threatened to plumb kill me dead if I don't. But I could operate on you while I was sittin' down, see. Or the P-Vine could use the knife and I could tell her what to cut. Shucks, I could do that over the phone, no sweat.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:16 PM

The P-Vine an' Pat been talkin', Rap... Hide the ammunition... The P-Vine just today threatened to shoot me...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 08:38 PM

Bobert, Pat's got her daddy's .45 Colt's revolver AND bullets. Worse yet, her daddy taught her to shoot and he was on the US Army's DC area pistol team. I really, really don't want to piss her off. Best I kin do is duck and cover and hide -- can't run worth nothin' right now.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 10:17 PM

Geez, Bobert! She threatened to shoot you? Is she going for the "horse with the broken leg" remedy? Seems kind of like overdoing it to me.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Janie
Date: 02 Mar 08 - 10:32 PM

Either that, or her man in pain is gettin' so cantankerous he has about wore out her last nerve.

Hey guys, if either or both of you do go in for surgery and need any replacement parts, let me know. I got a big old 4WD 1979 Ford F250 sittin' out in the back yard that I'll be glad to strip for any parts you might need.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:20 AM

Bobert prob'ly needs a new rear end and a new Universal Joint.

Especially the latter.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:33 AM

How about his big end?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 04:16 PM

Well, I don't know what's going on... The P-Vine called Mr. Clifford this morning and tolt him that she'd seen what she thought my be a rabied fox and for him to bring his gun up... He's outside right now with it???

Danged....

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 05:10 PM

The fox? Or the gun?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Janie
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 05:34 PM

And you believed her?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 06:01 PM

Bobert! Bobert! You okay? Bobert? Bobert??

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 06:05 PM

Yeah, I also noticed that she had my life insurance file out 'cuase she failed to put it back in the file cabinet...

Hmmmmmm??? I don't think she can collect if she has Mr. Clifford shoot me, can she???

I mean, that kinda stuff oughtta be against the law... But I ain't no lawyer...

Okay, now fir the latest, as if anyone really gives a flyin'....

(Man, doncha just hate old people... All they do is talk about their ailments...)

Okay, Thursday is the MRI and then Friday it's off to see a specialist in Winchester at the "Spine Center"... Think we'll ask Mr. Clifford to come along and bring his gun in case this specialist is a specialist in cuttin' folks when they don't need to be cut...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Mar 08 - 09:38 PM

Iffen you don't need no cuttin', just do what they tell ya.

Iffen they say you need cuttin', ask 'em why and git a second opinion. A good doctor won't care.

Iffen some guy says you need cuttin' cuz of what you did to his daughter, git outa there any way you can. Specially iffen he's got two er three big sons with him. Don't worry 'bout fightin' dirty, neither.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Mar 08 - 04:24 PM

Bobert, duz this mean you ain't gonna play at my weddin'?

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 05 Mar 08 - 09:32 AM

Rap,

If yer lady wants to make an honest man outta ya, then I'll play... It hurts a little but I can play the geetar on my lap just fine and still play two drums and a high-hat with my feet...

When's the weddin' an, speakin' of guns, hope there ain't a Rap-to-be in the oven... Them weddin's can get right down nasty affairs, indeed...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 09:19 AM

The wedding is the next time October 6, 1973 comes around. Be glad to have you.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 11:30 AM

Today is the day for the MRI. I love those things- they are painless and detailed to the nth degree. Today you will get some answers. OK?

(fingers crossed for ya)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: SINSULL
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 11:36 AM

Good thoughts going your way, Bobert. And I will light a candle for P-Vine, the Patient.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 11:53 AM

hahhaha "P-Vine, the Patient" I love it.

My brother had a hip replacement last month and by phone to me he reports great progress. Not much pain, working hard at physical therapy, great plans for getting back to tournament horseshoe pitching.

Then I talked with his wife, and the story shades a little differently. She's been sleep deprived for two weeks because she's up with him every couple of hours, he gets huffy that "she just doesn't care", he doesn't understand why he has to remind her that it's time for his pain medication...

lol

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 12:29 PM

Dang it all Ebbie! You never have told us how the baby is.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 03:32 PM

The babe didn't need a hip replacement, Rap. I love good news, don't you? :)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 06:10 PM

Well, well, well...

The MRI was a no-go... I couldn't get my head down as far as they wanted without #10 pain shootin' down my right arm...

So, tomorrow it's off to Winchester Hospital where, if I understand it right, some sumabich is gonna whop me upside the head with a Louiseville Slugger and then stuff me in the MRI...

Anyway, tomorrow oughtta be fun... Gonna see the specialist after I wake up and then at least I finally, fater 6 weeks of this crap, what it is that has me "seriously messed up"...

BTW, the P-Vine ain't all that patient... She's real steamed at my primary care doctor for lettin' this get this far along with no progress... I believe that if she were to see him crossin' the street in front of her that she'd floor it...

Sorry to have missed the last weddin', Rap... I own you one...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Sorcha
Date: 06 Mar 08 - 06:13 PM

Bobert...tell P vine that a divorce is cheaper than vehicular homicide even if it IS a Doc. Good luck, buddy. Hang in there. ONE more lousy day.