BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....

Subject: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 06:11 PM

Well, I'll kee[p- it short 'cuase I have to... I've been having back problems and went to a massauge therapist who seriously messed me up by putting pressure in my right armpit which set off a series of spasams down my right side, my right arm and has left mje with numbness in two fingers...

I'm now on muscle relaxers, heavy duty anti-imflamatories, hot and cold compresses five times a day, electrical stimulation to the affected muscles and physical theerapy a couple times a week...

I should have listened to the P-Vine and just gone to PT to begin with... I hate it when women is right...

Well, that's all the pudder time I can stand...

Back to the heat pad...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 06:17 PM

Oh man, Bobert you done gone got your self in a mess now boy. Don't rightly know if I should put my opinion of most chiropractors in writing, but I do know the pukka Physio, trains a lot longer for the job, so knows their way around best.
Anyway, I hope you get some ease for that spasm, and try drinking from smaller glasses to reduce the strain on your back.
Hoping you get better quick.
Giok

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Teribus
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 06:33 PM

Snap Bobert same thing happened to me today, I went see the bone man and he tugged me about for a bit, it was my left hip that causing the trouble, got to go back to see him again tomorrow, says its going to be a long fight - but as you know I'm used to those - wish you well with yours its not a thing you'd wish on your worst enemy.

By the bye Bobert heard your CD the other day - you're one hell of a good performer.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: wysiwyg
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 06:37 PM

Here's from another woman you seldom heed: AQUATIC REHAB.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 06:37 PM

Now looky here -- I might be comin' to deecee to git an award (it'll be a while, tho) and iffen yer still messed up an' we can't git together I'll be right disappointed.

Now you git yer act together or I'm gonna go over LUray way an' whack you upsida yer head!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Megan L
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 06:41 PM

Hey Rapaire if yer gaun ower there tae gie the glaikit gomeral a skelp on the lug gie him wan on the ither side fur me an save Granny the air fare.

Mind oan Bobert ony fool kin poke a bear wie a stick but if ye want tae survive leave the pokin tae someone whit kens whit a bear luks like.

Translations can be got via LtS

Meg :p

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 06:41 PM

I'm so sorry to hear that Bobert. I'm having PT now for a knee which was injured when I plunged into a hole in a Presbyterian parking lot. (It was dark and the hole was in the shadow of the curb.)


Isnt it a drag? The exercises are so-o-o boring. But when I'm at the clinic, I relieve that some by starting conversations with the others.
Maybe you can do the same.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 06:50 PM

Here ya go, Bobert. This'll cheer ya up.

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Amid a discussion of trade in 1973, Chairman Mao Zedong made what Secretary of State Henry A. Kissinger called a novel proposition: sending tens of thousands, even 10 million, Chinese women to the United States.

"You know, China is a very poor country," Mao said, according to a document released by the State Department's historian office. "We don't have much. What we have in excess is women. So if you want them we can give a few of those to you, some tens of thousands."

A few minutes later, Mao circled back to the offer. "Do you want our Chinese women?" he asked. "We can give you 10 million."

After Kissinger noted Mao was "improving his offer," the chairman said, "We have too many women ... They give birth to children and our children are too many."

"It is such a novel proposition," Kissinger replied in his discussion with Mao in Beijing. "We will have to study it."

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bill D
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 07:10 PM

We should have sent them 20 Billion birth control pills.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 07:14 PM

Sorry to hear about your problem, Bobert!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Severn
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 07:17 PM

We told you to go to a masseuse, not a mysoginist!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Amos
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 07:40 PM

Aw, Bobert, I yam sorry you are hurt; but you are a young srat and still rubbery, to a degree, so heal fast brother.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 08:06 PM

Well, thankee all fir the support... And advice even if half o' it don't make a lick o' sense... I don't need a million Chinese women... I need better drugs... Anyone have any extra oxicotin they ain't got plans for???

Sheet fire... I gotta gig a week from this Saturday... The PT lady thinks I'm 50/50 fir it... I'd take 20/80... Man, I ain't been this messed up since I thought that I'd impress this certin 13 y6ear old girl by jumping of my parents roof into a wading pool with 6 inches of water in it...

That was along time ago but I still remember the pain...

Ouch... That's my limit...

Sheet... All this political stuff goin' down and I'm done fir the night...

You, T... Hope you get mended up, bud... We is gettin' behind in our wrestlin'...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Ebbie
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:00 PM

(((((((Beaubear)))))) gently.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Sorcha
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:05 PM

Been there, done that, twice. It's NO fun at all.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bee
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:17 PM

Massaged into spasms, Bobert? What kinda Masseuse were you seein'?

Really, I felt sympathetic twinges all across my lower back reading about your problem, having spent three weeks flat on my back from a muscle spasm once, followed by half a year of not picking up anything weighing more than five kilos.

Do everything the physio people tell you. Good luck. ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:27 PM

Bobert, you're going to meet a whole bunch of nice people. They have names like Olga, The Lash, and Madame Shackles. Do what they tell you. In fact, you will have no choice BUT to do as they tell you. I've had PT several times and it's not to bad after you get used to the pain, the handcuffs, the whips, the gags, the blindfolds, and people in leather underwear and high-heeled boots.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Leadfingers
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:36 PM

to the pain, the handcuffs, the whips, the gags, the blindfolds, and people in leather underwear and high-heeled boots.

ME NEXT !!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Leadfingers
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:38 PM

Seriously Bobert - If I turn up at Getaway and there ISNT a Blues Session I will Sue !!!!!!! GET SORTED !!!    NOW !!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Janie
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 09:52 PM

Awww, Bobert - And it's almost plantin' time! Take care friend, and be well soon.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: GUEST,dianavan
Date: 14 Feb 08 - 10:07 PM

I know its uncomfortable but use those cold compresses!

They will stop the muscles spasms and let your body slide back into shape.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Skivee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:04 AM

Hell, Bobert. In all the time you was campig-nin, I kept telling you not to wave so hard to your supporters. They could see where you was standing, so what's the point?????
The best thing ta do is not shovel any of that ice and snow off your tractor, and have the P-vine do all yer chores. You just be careful while you are practicing them blusey minor seventh chords. They can be tough.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bert
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:34 AM

Things your quack won't tell you.

Lay off the caffeine, the last thing you need is something that is going to wake up those nerves.

If you take pain killers of any kind, go to bed and stay there. If you move around while you are on pain killers you will only make matters worse 'cos you wont be able to feel that you are straining things more.

Don't keep your wallet in your back pants pocket 'cos that will skew your spine (actually a chiropractor did tell me that one).

Find a small pillow or cushion to put in the small of your back when you are sitting. Especially in the car.

WHen you are picking something up, bend your knees, don't bend at the waist. This takes practice but it is worth it.

Relax and get well soon.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 02:20 AM

I feel for ya' Bobertz 'cause amongst the various other surgeries I've had is back surgery. Now while what you got may be different and with a different solution and all than what I had, may I humbly make an outlandish suggestion? I mean this may not be the popular thing to do but have you considered going to see a real fuckin' doctor? No, not a urologist specializing in sexual perfomance, I mean a real honest to gawd person with a specialty in maybe, say, orthopedics?

Ya' know, muscles are controlled by nerves and all and both muscle and nerve have more than a passing acquaintance with bone............spasms might be more than muscle related and all................

Real doctor.............wow, what a concept......................

Just a thought...................

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 08:55 AM

Ya know, Bobert, Spaw might be on ta something there. I mean about seeing a boner. I'm going to make an appointment with one as soon as I can cuz my left knee is giving me fits and starts. You should also start having the neighbors bring the 'shine to ya instead of walkin' up into the hills, dodgin' revenoors and all. Down were you live you should be able to put the quart jars on the back porch each night and pick up full ones in the mornin' in time for breakfast.

Ain't nothin' like Lucky Charms and 'shine for breakfast. Builds ya up strong.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:16 AM

If you want to take Spaw's advice one step further and get some of the moves of the chiro-quacker without the pain, find a DO. Doctor of Osteopathy. They turned out a lot of them here in Fort Worth. They are medical doctors with the extra hands-on training. I hurt my back one time (it hurts just to remember crawling to the phone with only a two-year-old in the house with me) and we didn't have a regular doctor yet. I remarked to the now-ex on our way to the emergency room that too bad we didn't have someone local to see first. On impulse we stopped at the neighborhood minor emergency clinic, run by DOs. Amazing--the doctor said "I don't get a chance to do this very often," turned me on my side, put a hand on my shoulder and on my hip and did this twist - Pop! went something in my spine. Had me roll to the other side, hands on shoulder and hip again, and Pop! Pop! and it was instant relief! I took motrin for a few days, no bed rest and muscle relaxants, just taking it easy. The back was tender, but back in position. The relief was instantaneous.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: PoppaGator
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:19 AM

Hang in there buddy; sorry to hear about this. I'm sure you'll get over it and be back to your old self soon enough.

Sorry I didn't notice this yesterday, but here's my git-well greeting today, better late than never.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Big Mick
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 10:50 AM

My father has been disabled for years as a result of a chiro quack adjusting his spine when he had a ruptured disk. At least a DO is a medical doctor. But I am with Spaw on this. Go to a real, honest to Skippy, specialist.

Mick

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: PoppaGator
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:49 AM

I got the impression from the opening post that Bobert has seen an MD, at least since the incident with the message therapist:

"I'm now on muscle relaxers, heavy duty anti-imflamatories, hot and cold compresses five times a day, electrical stimulation to the affected muscles and physical therapy a couple times a week..."

The first two things he mentions would seem to be prescription medications, no? They'd only be available (well, only be legally available) through a licensed medical doctor, or at least a nurse-practitioner working within the recognized medical establishment.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:51 AM

Got nothing against DOs -- they do good work. As for chiros...well...they fly south in the winter.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: john f weldon
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:57 AM

Years ago I had a back problem & went to a therapist. I did the exercises & it got worse, then I stopped the exercises and it suddenly went away.

I have no good advice to give other than reading H L Mencken's wonderful essay "On Chiropractic".

Good luck....

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: peregrina
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 11:58 AM

go for anything that stops the muscle spasms now and then find an Alexander technique teacher--you will feel (temporarily) weightless after a lesson, you won't have had your bones crunched or your muscles mauled, and eventually you'll learn to keep the problems away yourself. I swear by it. Good luck recovering.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: gnu
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:36 PM

Hey. Maybe some a them Chinese women might know the accupuncture? My Bro told me last night he is gonna go fer it on accounta he has a bad back and my ex told him that her friend's husband went fer the needlin fer the same problem and now he is fine.

I told Bro to go fer the PT on accounta it worked for me when I had the same problem and I didn't have no needles stuck in me nor eat no ground up bear gall bladder ner nuthin like that. Told him I got as much faith in them needles as I do in them gyroprackteers what twist ya all around. He hung up before I could comment on the ex.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: john f weldon
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:51 PM

Qi is a great word for scrabble, but for backs it's probably buncombe.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 01:53 PM

Yeah, folks, I beenm to the real doctor... Right after going to the massauge therapist who screwed, ahhhhh, messed me up... The real doctor is the one who is havin' me go thru the PT... I think I have improved a little since yesterday... Maybe not... I was able to get in and drive the car this mornin' to fetch materials for a guy who is sanding the hardwood floors in the house I've built... No, I made the guy at the paint place load 'um into the car...

Right now I can't quite get my right arm around the front of a geetar so there ain't no geetar pickin' 'round here...

Well, I have reached my pudder time limit...

Back (ha) to the ice...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 03:07 PM

Ice is for drinks (if you want it), not backs.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Feb 08 - 03:24 PM

And you say P-Vine suggested you skip the massage for a PT? But you didn't, right?


Well, I hope you feel better anyway.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 07:35 AM

My back is not what it once was - but after I damaged it by being optimistic (resulting in a nastly little man with red-hot pliers who lived in my left buttock) I saw a respected sports therapist who achieved nothing, a series of doctors culminating is a full-body imaging job in Harley street (insured!) who found a little bit of disc damage but achieved nothing, several osteopaths and finally a chiropractor who suggested losing weight and getting fit, which I did (all gone back to where it was now). Lots of clunking metal about in gymns and I was fine. Must have been about 30 years ago.

I just have to be a bit careful about how I lift things, but not how much I lift.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 08:46 AM

Get outta spaz quick Bobertz. Work on getting your chi back on track. You have somehow short circuited yoreself and disrupted the natchal flow obv life flow electrons and tripped the breaker. Try not to mix concrete or dig drainfield ditches while in this condition. You keep forgettin' that you're 3 or 7 hundred years old so go hire immigrants from yore local Home Depot parking lot to do that stuff. They are the hardest working people on the planet and will be glad to do it.

Aslo, the ice is your friend while in extreme spaz. Heat is the enemy and only enlarges blood vessels in the muscles allowing more pressure to form around your spazzed out sections and will produce even more swelling. Feels good for a while but will make you worse in the end. I recommend finding a frozen pond and laying out in the middle til just before spring thaw.

Love you brother and get well soon. I know it ain't no fun being stove up.

Yores,
Tweed

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 09:09 AM

Hmmmmmm, Tweezer... My pond is froze up purdy good... Think I'll just mozy on down there...

Man, I juts don't know about the heat and ice arguments... The PT lady says that if the heat is a wet heat that's good as ice but you have made some purdy intersecting observations here so, okay, I'll try the pond... Maybe take my heat pad down there with me so I can alternate 'tween 'um... Maybe a couple Chinese womenz and a six pack of Iron City... Hmmmmmm??? Maybe I can get the P-Vine to unroll the 200 foot tension cord and take my little TV down there, too... And a couple old issues of Mad magazine... And, and...

Okay, that's 'bout my Mudville limit... I can onhly do about 5 minutes before the stove gets on me...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Tweed
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 09:18 AM

ahh hmmmmm....heat pad on the frozen pond???!!??

Okay, sounds good to me Old Hoss, but don't go to sleep out there for very long or yore troubles will habv just begun.

Tell the Peavine to poke you with a stick from a safe distance every once in a while or put a line around your ankles and drag you to some fresh ice with the Kubota. It'll be good for both of you. Keep you from drowning in ice water and Peavine'll enjoy pokin' you with a stick anyhow and give the old gal a chance to get back at you.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 11:29 AM

First off all, Twwezer, me and the P-Vine gotta a deal... She stays off my Kubuta and I stay the heck off her treadmill... As fir drownin' in the pond... The sumabich is only 'bout 3 feet deep at the deepest so if I plan on drownin' in it I better take along my rather worn book entitled "How To Drown Yerself In a Bath Tub" by Anna Easee...

Headin' down to pond now...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Skivee
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 12:34 PM

Well, Bobert, ol' buddy, here I was just thinkin' o' ways to mock your pain last night. Next thing I know, I up and sneeze and pull a muscle in my ribs. I sneeze a fair amount, but now it's just no fun. Every time I do, it feels like Chongo is pokin' me in the ribs with one of those stubby monkey thumbs of his. Do you know if he has one of those invisable cloak deals from the movies?
I thought think kinda thing would slack off after I got outta politics.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Rapparee
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 12:48 PM

Well that's it then Bobert. Iffen you'd git outa politics this wouldnta happened. See, Big Dick Cheney is inside that mountain hideout of his'n and he's sending P-waves (that's P for Pain) at you cuz you badmouth him and W alla time. You get offen his back and he'll leave yers alone for a while. He's doin' this cuz W told him that he was gittin' bad vibes from you since you were also badmouthin' W. These here P-waves are a new secret weapon that Big Dick just thoght up and yer the first person he's tried 'em on.

Git outa politics and you'll be okay, or at least as okay as you ever are.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 01:48 PM

P-waves, Rap???

Well, humppppfff!!!

Time to go stick another pin in my Dick Cheney voodoo doll... Sumabich put p-waves on this ol' hillbilly he better have packed his lunch...

Ahhhh, sorry Skivz 'bout yer perdicermint but right now I'm about a couple or three sneeezes away from intensive care... Last time I was this soved in was back when I was six years old in the polio ward...

Keep away from pepper...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 01:53 PM

You shoulda kept Chongo on security, Bobert. This would not have happened.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Amos
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 02:03 PM

Well, could Chongo, packing the appropriate heat, gumshoe down to where Mister Dick is, and exercise some extreme prejudice on his situation? Make like erasers and rub him out?

Hmmmmm?


It would help Bobert 'cuz the voodoo would stop...



A

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Skivee
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 02:15 PM

Well, Used-to-be-candidate-fer-preserdent Bobert, I don't want you worrying about my perdicermint. That part's just fine. It's my ribs that's hurt.
Anyway, I know a lot of folks whose diet is salt-free for they health.
I guess we'll be the first folks on a salt and pepper free diet for a time. We'll be like the cutting edge of medicine.
Well, I can't stay here jawin' and moanin'. I gotta get back to the job. It's "1/2 off Saturday" at the second hand store, and I gotta stand by the road and wear that big sign ta let folks know how cheap they can get black and white TVs for today. I sure miss my great job working fer you.
You stop sneezin' too, okay. We'll be on the road ta good health together.

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: Bobert
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 02:27 PM

Them black 'n whites in comin' back, Skivz, so don't give 'um away... Yeah, folks wishing for the good ol' days is getting purdy sick and ired of what's happenin' on the color TV's and thinkin' how good things always were in black and white so don't let 'um go too cheap...

Tell ya' what... If McWar gets elected them balck 'n whites will be worth a small fortune...

Sho nuff will..

Heck, I'd even get me one so I could watch happt TV...

Too bad I didn't put "Happy TVz in Every Living Room" as my campaign slogan...

Maybe next time???

Oh yeah, LH... If Chongz would like to go by and say "Hey" to Dickhead Cheney, that'd be jus' fine...

Subject: RE: BS: Bobert Seriously Messed Up....
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 Feb 08 - 02:27 PM

Sticking a pin in your Dick, would certainly take your mind off the pain in your back bro.
G