BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 03:25 PM

Harry (alias ad infinitum) ... methinks you doth protest too much.

I would phrase that differently, but I think Spaw may do so and I am not one to steal thunder.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 02:50 PM

Still no apology? Very well, you asked for it, Catspaw49. Here is another rude bit of verbal abuse from you, directed toward someone called Icky.

It gives me great pleasure to say that I never read anything suggested to me by a total asshole and thus have never gone to any of your websites! Like I said before Limpdick, you're just another nutjob trying to be a "someone."   Take it on the arches Icky!

Spaw

(sic) (there are 2 commas missing in the above excerpt)

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: quokka
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 10:12 AM

lol to all of the above! gotta love that ol' mudhumour, keep it up folks...oh wait - maybe that last statement was in bad taste ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 06:27 AM

What's wrong with my tits? They're lovely and have been quite busy this year.

Which reminds me, I must replenish their fat balls.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: gnu
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 05:13 AM

I thought the pics established the "Queen" thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 03:23 AM

I think by "we" he means the greater human community of which we all are a part. Either that or he's using the "royal" we... a la the Queen.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: mousethief
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 02:19 AM

What are we going to do about it?

Who's this "we"? Are you a member here?

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,sluefoot sue
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 12:53 AM

J** ....that is G****!

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Aug 10 - 12:32 AM

You're sure his name is really Critchwright? The i is next to u on the keyboard, you know.

If a wheelwright makes wheels and a shipwright makes ships, what is the origin of Harry's name? Does he come from a long line of those who make critches?

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 11:40 PM

Oh, Harry, for goodness' sake. Surely you have better things to do -- dress up in drag and go batting your eyelashes at random sailors, for example. Or cruising the Strip for the kind of guy who understands "the look"! Really!! This is a don't ask, don't tell place, but it is also "don't lie after you've been caught" sorta place. And, as Rapaire so judiciously sketches, you have been caught.


Maybe you could move to Mexico and change your name?

Just trying to be helpful.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 11:18 PM

I know of a cook in the Army who had "relationships" with chickens. I hardly thought Mr. Crotchrot was that sort of fellow, though. Still, one can never really tell about a person. I have never known anyone before who -- shall we say? -- goosed a goose.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 11:11 PM

I would like to point out that urine can be used to prevent or cure athlete's foot fungus. Bobert may be collecting it for that purpose.

On the other hand, maybe he's just crazy... ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 09:57 PM

I see that I underestimated the sheer perfidy and moral degradation of many of the members of this so-called folk and blues forum. I would be aghast and speechless by now were I not made of stern stuff. Very stern stuff, I assure you. I have had occasion to work professionally with poultry. Chickens, as you may or may not know, can be extremely independent and assertive birds. Turkeys can be even worse. Geese are the limit! If you want to earn their respect and get them to obey you, you must be prepared to lay down the law and "take no guff", if I may use a rather quaint homespun expression. No chicken OR turkey or any other form of agricultural fowl has proven to be strong-willed enough to resist my unbending authority once I laid down the law and made the conditions of our relationship absolutely clear. That should tell you something. You are not dealing with a mere namby-pamby pushover here. Oh, no.

So...."mamalucca", you say? Another stupid slang word! Where do you people get these moronic expressions? What gutter have you been crawling in?   Hmmm?

And what is all this nonsense about collecting cups of urine? For what purpose?

Now let's make one thing perfectly clear: I am not leaving here nor giving an inch until I get a full apology from everyone here who has offended me. At this point that would be:

Catspaw49

Amos

and Rapaire

Then there are those who are on probation and had better watch it or they will also be asked for an apology.

At this point that would be....hmm...

Q

and gnu

I don't really know how to classify Bobert's semi-coherent remarks so I won't even try.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 09:04 PM

I, too, have seen the pictures to which Amos refers. I don't see anything morally or ethically wrong with Mr. Crotchrot wearing a garter belt and fishnet stockings (although what appears to be a considerable abdominal overhang rather spoils the effect I'm sure he was looking for). Nor is it wrong for him to appear on his knees, handcuffed and gagged, while someone weating what appears to be high-heeled boots and carrying a buggy whip stands above him.

I am quite certain that Catspaw49, the original broke-dick mamalucca and adherent of Ohio State University sports, feels the same way.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 08:53 PM

Oh, Harry, you are so far out of your depth, even your scarlet lace-trimmed panties from Victoria's Secret won't buy your way out. (Save your breath, I've seen the photos on Ellen's Flickr account. You shoulda paid up when due, mate!)

You just wot not into what you have stepped, you pissant mammaluca. As for Catspaw skulking, well, you can't be serious. He is the most UNSKULKING person around here, and that is saying some.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 07:45 PM

Sorry ya'll but I've run outta pee cups but...

...carry on until I get back witha fresh supply...

(Yo, Boberdz... You really won't need that many... I think there's only 2 or 3 real folks here and you know that Ebbie ain't gonna come up dirty and Amos, bless his heart, says he's been clean since 1867 which alone means he's gonna have to contribute a sample... As for the rest of 'um, I think one cup will do fine...)

Heck, in that case, here ya' go, critcher... You know the drill...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 07:29 PM

Ellen, you have no right barging in here and issuing threats, idle or otherwise. Kindly remove yourself from this discussion. Our private business is not the whole world's business, you know.

So, Catspaw49, I see you have at last had the nerve to come skulking forth out of the shadows, but you haven't had the decency to offer a retraction or an apology! Very well. I shall hunt up even more of your scurrilous, obscene postings and repost them here in an effort to shame you into contrition! Everyone has a limit to suffering shame beyond which they cannot endure, and I intend to find yours. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,The former Mrs. Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 07:17 PM

For heaven's sake, Harry. Stop whining!

You have brought this upon yourself. I told you what I would with those pictures if you were late with the alimony payments. And as you well know, I never make idle threats.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 07:07 PM

I am pleased to see a thread of "Spaw's Greatest Hits.".......................I am also pleased to see my work has not been in vain. I know I am successful when I read "broke-dick" in Ebbie's post above.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 07:01 PM

"Eschew Obfuscation!"

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 06:49 PM

Amos???? Obfuscate????

Without obfuscation, would Amos be Amos?

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 06:35 PM

Living in southwest Ohio? Or (shudder) in Columbus??

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: artbrooks
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 06:09 PM

Ya know, yuns guys are getting pretty creative in your abuse of Catspew. I can't honestly say that any of it is really wrong, but what punishment could you possibly come up with? The poor bastard already lives in southeast Ohio - what could top that!?

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Don Firth
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 05:50 PM

". . . broke-dick. . . ."

Hmm! Maybe that's what the cucumber is all about.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 05:31 PM

Perhaps a subcutaneous injection?

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 05:28 PM

The OED, under critch, refers one to cratch, which is defined thus:
"Some cutaneous disease attended with itching"

Critchwright might refer to a producer (carrier!) of itch, which in the short hairs of the pubic region could be caused by crabs, obtained from some doxy at Wapping Stairs.

Avoid contact with this geezer!

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:57 PM

You seem to have a personal problem of some sort with me, Amos. If so, please state what it is. Enlighten us. If not, go away and stop obfuscating the main purposes of this thread.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:54 PM

I think he must be insane. What is all this stuff about Cheech Marin and who is the Great Hat? Why has this individual not been institutionalized or given therapy? What must his neighbours think?

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:53 PM

Well, it's clear that, at least for the purposes of this forum, your are not only NOT out, Harry, but you're still in Egyptian Scuba mode (deep in da Nile).

I think you're just jealous of Mister Spaw's free-wheeling, passionate and colorful use of language, whose virtuosity in his hands puts you and most of your chilly brethren to shame. Yes, SHAME!! As inheritors of the Bard and the Great Boswell, of Eliot and heirs to the great rivers of Welsh and Irish phrase, you should be miles ahead of some greasy-handed plebe from Ohio, but he leaves you in his linguistic dust!!





A

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:49 PM

You think that was bad, Harry? Have a look at THIS one.

Now HAWK, you Ignominious Asshole.............

There is no way that a lowlife such as yourself can possibly be taken seriously. Why would anyone value the opinion of some jadrool who worships Winona Ryder and cannot understand the zen teachings and subtle poetry and balance that is learned from the Study of Cheech. Even the Great Hat hisself has spoken out against the putrid and repugnant "Space Oddity" as being a tale of utter ignorance!

You may think you know shit but it is in fact Shinola. I had thought there might be hope for you when you sent me that pussy but alas, you are sadly just another dick......not even a hard on..................just a limp tiny dick...................I'd say you were a jagov but you probably can't.........

What's needed here is more than a mere apology, in my opinion. I'm thinking more along the lines of taking this miscreant, stripping him naked, flaying him alive, executing him by all means possible, and then tossing his carcass into a pit full of half-starved wharf rats. For a start, I mean.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:31 PM

Now let's return to the real subject of this thread, shall we? Peruse this comment from the rude poster if you dare:

I hope you can return as the true Hawk and live high above the Crazy Horse carving where you can shit daily on the web's most exciting webcam.

I understand that the late Major Tom was trapped in the identity of a rug worn by William Shatner and pissed on by the great Wizard, his own self, Cheech. Cheech had to stop by and evacuate his bladder after nailing Winona Ryder.

In the above excerpt this individual outdoes himself! He uses foul language to a friend of mine, insults 3 well known Hollywood actors, and fantasizes all sorts of utter nonsense about them. His verbal assault on Winona Ryder, for instance, is off the wall and completely vile in both expression and intent. To my knowledge, she has never had any romantic relationship with Cheech Marin.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Severn
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:30 PM

I thought "Jah'd Rule!" was something out of some Reggae somg.....

So part of the complaint is merely about "cumbersome" language?

With anybody else, I'd think Real friend first and Imaginary friend second, but with LH, one never knows. Some folks already seem to think "Ongoing charactor", given the source. Some of these people sound like they'd like to check out your driver's liscence......

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:22 PM

I have no idea what you are alluding to, Amos. I have nothing to hide. My predilections are entirely above board, whereas yours appear to be questionable, to say the least.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:21 PM

Bless you, Little Hawk, for your compassion and your efforts to bring justice and simple decency back into the broke-dick world we live in.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:18 PM

Oh, I am sorry, Harry!! Did I unmask your predilections? I didn't mean to "out" you.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 04:00 PM

My surname derives from the proud profession of crutch-making. The spelling has changed a bit over the centuries, but that's where it comes from. We Critchwrights have always been inclined toward service to the injured and afflicted. We seek a world where the wounded are healed, where mercy and tolerance are the order of the day, and where people are not allowed to post offensive, hurtful things such as...

Go to a mirror, look at the reflection, say "Broke-dick Jadrool"

At least we now have a clue. "Jadrool" is apparently an Italian-American term, so the miscreant is probably Italian-American himself, but that's no excuse for his behaviour which goes beyond the pale.

Amos, you are not helping. I am offended by your comments. You have caused me emotional distress. Do I make myself clear?

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:49 PM

jadrool

I didn't know what it was, either. I think it might have something to do with buttfucking....

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Bobert
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:48 PM

Yo, Harry... What is a "critchwright"??? I mean, I understand the "writght" part but "critch"??? Maybe I wasn't in school that day, I donno...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Amos
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:46 PM

Oh, say!! Harry!! Are you REALLY out of the closet now?? Heard it on the grapevine.

As for your question, let us engrave the immortal meanderings of the brain-fevered Catspaw in slabs of marble black as ink, and highlight them with gold dust, that they may inspire generations of folkies for years to come and motivate them to resist all the moralistic anal-retentive jadrool obsessions of broke-dick Grundyites and limp-wristed Comstockians (such as your honorable self) forevermore!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:45 PM

Looking back through the poster's history, I also find this bizarre statement:

We have some folks around here who are proof that Chimps buttfucked water buffalo........

What is wrong with this person? He must be a very sick and misinformed individual. He has now insulted 2 innocent species of animals and stated something for which there can be no scientific evidence.

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:42 PM

I dunno, Harry. Some of us consider it an art form...

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: GUEST,Harry Critchwright
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:32 PM

Thank you, thank you.

Well, I hardly know where to start. I guess it all began when I noticed a thread in the music section called "When will Mudcat clean up its act?" I was gratified by the fact that the possessive word "its" had been spelt properly for once!...no apostrophe...and I began to read with heightened expectations of an urbane and intelligent discussion which would challenge me intellectually and stimulate my interest with cogent observations on morality and public behaviour.

Imagine my shock and chagrin when I came across this ill-mannered post! (I place the text below in italics...and apologize in advance for any offence it may cause...but I must make clear what the problem IS.)

I would also propose that besides Dick, we remove Peter and John as well. Then of course there is pussy, cock, gay, jig, pork, screw, hump, suck, ball, bone, tits, booby, trim.........................

Can we all just move on now from the moronic, broke-dick, jadrool, that started this thread and allow him the privacy to go fuck himself?

What can I say? The cretinous individual who posted the above rude comments has offended me on so many levels that I could hardly even list them all. I want something done about it. Who would even use crazy terms like "broke-dick" and "jadrool"? What does jadrool even mean? I know it doesn't mean anything good. How can this individual be persuaded to mend his aberrant ways? Will a simple demand for an apology be enough to get him to face up to the unacceptable nature of what he has done?

To demonstrate just how awful this person is, I will paste in another comment he made on another thread.

He often goes walkabout ever since he had the clap after that affair with the cross-dressing, homosexual, transvestite, pig farmer from White Horse where Hawk was studying at the foot of the Great Hat, Cheech. Despondent over his inability to know any shit let alone jack shit, he picked up the pig farmer that he took to be a farmer's daughter. This all affected his already weak brain and his virtually non-existent balls as well.

The past several years he has searched for new gonads to no avail while his gray matter has turned a whiter shade of pale. He generally returns from these wandering totally worn out and so spends the next few weeks being butt-fucked by Chongo and watching Shane throw up.

There. Shocking, isn't it? Well? What are we going to do about it?

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:32 PM

I'm deeply offended by this cat poster...

Subject: RE: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: gnu
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:21 PM

Yer sure that's not Harry Crotch, right?

Subject: BS: Friend deeply offended by 'Cat poster!!!
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Aug 10 - 03:19 PM

Yes! I have a friend who came visiting here out of an innocent interest in folk music and was shocked and deeply offended by the posts of a certain terribly rude individual on this forum. And he wants something done about it. Being a bit shy, he has asked me to introduce the subject by launching this thread for him, thus giving him a platform, so to speak, from which he may express his sincere views and opinions, and hopefully arrive at a resolution which will be satisfying to all and will assist in preventing such grievous offenses from occurring in the future.

And with no further ado....I shall yield the floor to Harry Critchwright, that he may unburden his injured feelings and seek to resolve them.