BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?

Subject: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:14 PM

The McBride family came over "on the boat" during the hard years of the Irish Potato Famine and have never looked back (well, maybe once or twice...) since. If they had looked back, they'd have seen an angry mob of creditors and disgruntled neighbours that they "borrowed" things from, plus probably a few Irish police officers.

The McBrides haled from the region around the Dingle Peninsula. They were famous in the area as drunkards, layabouts, and petty thieves blessed with an almost superhuman ability to avoid paying work and sidestep most forms of social responsibility. Due to the perenially roving eye and virtual unmarriageability of most of the McBride men, they fathered a very large number of children out of wedlock, so Shane has many relatives still living around the area of Dingle, most of whom are eager to deny any form of connection with him or his forbears and family name.

Having arrived in the new lands of North America in 1850 and settling in Nova Scotia, Shane's great grandfather decided to turn over a new leaf and started growing marijuana and selling it to the locals. At first this was a very small business which attracted little attention, so Shane's great grandfather was forced, much to his chagrin and shame, to accept normal work as a casual labourer, while abetting his meagre income with stolen horses, carriages, and light machinery. This led to an increasingly acrimonious relationship with the RCMP and the local police in Nova Scotia, eventually causing the McBride family to relocate to Blind River, Ontario. Shane's father, Sam McBride, started up a small marijuana grow-op in Blind River and eked out a precarious living by fencing stolen goods and forging checks.

Then the 60s came and all of a sudden Marijuana blossomed from being a minor cult phenomenon of a few jazz musicians to becoming a mainstream recreational drug embraced by an entire young generation!

The life of the McBride family was transformed. They could now afford takeout pizza at least 3 times a week, and the fridge was always full of Canadian beer. These were "the salad days".

It all went swimmingly until Shane's father fell asleep on the railroad tracks after an epic drinking session and got run over by a westbound train. They had to bury him in fifteen different pieces. The family was devastated.

But nothing can keep a McBride down forever. Shane and his brother Don swore on their father's grave (as well as pretty much everyplace else they went) that they would restore the "fambly fortune". This might sound difficult, but one should keep in mind that that would only require raising about $320. Within a year Shane and Don had built the marijuana business back up to the levels attained by their dad, and things were "lookin' good, eh?"

Then the cops ruined it all by busting the brothers and shutting down their grow-op! This led to a bitter vendetta between the McBride brothers and the police force which has persisted to this day, each determined to outlast the other and achieve final victory.

And there you have it. The glorious history of a proud Irish-Canadian family who have never forgotten their roots, never given up on their ideals, and never refused the challenges life has offered them.

Shane and Don McBride can be found today living in Blind River, often hanging out at the local Tim Hortons or the Iron Horse Tavern. They will sign autographs for free cigarettes or beer. They will accept friendly offers from single (or married) women with no strings attached. A book and movie deal is rumoured to be in the works as I speak, and the brothers will play themselves. Famed Hockey commentator Don Cherry will appear in a cameo role, as will a local police officer, the lovely Jennifer Dana. It's gonna be AWESOME!

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:20 PM

If The Cherry brings his dog it will be an instant success.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 06:26 PM

For sure, eh? I think the original dog died, but I trust he has gotten another to replace it.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Sep 11 - 08:08 PM

Okay, Don Cherry will perform as Officer Jennifer Dana. That'll be interesting, so say the least.

Also, my earlier research shows that Shame McBride's ancestors included the Sawney Bean family of Scotland, Messrs. Burke and Hare, and several noted coprophiliacs.

If Shame thinks he came from the Dingle Peninsula, he could be correct. I know the area reasonably well, having been there a few times visiting my wife's folks, and there is a large gallows on top of a very prominent hill still awaiting the return of any of the McBride clan. (I looked very diligently for a photo which would show that, and I'll be danged if I can find a picture! If you wish to go there I can give you directions, however. It's straight up the hill from the old family farm.) While the death penalty no longer exists in Ireland, there is an exemption in both the modern and Brehon laws for Shame's family.

Come to think of it, there was a family in the area very well known for their women being "bush-strumpets" and the men were known for their lám-chairdes -- something that I'm certain Shame practices as his ancestors did before him.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: JennieG
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 02:16 AM

Ah, thank you so much, Little Hawk! Shane is such a unique....er....he's so unique (as of course is Don) that I had been wondering from where he sprung. Does the family have only the two boys, or are there other siblings? I had heard a rumour that there was a sister or two, but perhaps that was wrong.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 03:23 AM

There have been rumors to that effect, but as far as I know there are only the 2 brothers, Shane and Don. It's always possible, I suppose, that Sam McBride might have fathered some illegitimate children here and there...McBride men tend to do that...but if so, I don't have any hard information about it, nor do Shane and Don.

There is a girl named Feral Sheryl who has a romantic interest in Shane (!). She is definitely a few beer short of a 6-pack. Shane started trying to avoid her after he realized she had matrimony in mind. Sheryl is hoping to entrap him by the oldest strategem of all, but hasn't succeeded in doing so as yet.

Shane's great dream is to marry Officer Jennifer Dana of the O.P.P. (Ontario Provincial Police). Ms Dana is an impressive young woman. She's tall, blonde, beautiful, efficient, extremely good at her job, and about as likely to marry Shane as to don a lizard suit and take up a job as a gargoyle on the parapets of Notre Dame Cathedral.

Nevertheless, she seems to feel a protective instinct where Shane is concerned, perhaps seeing a spark of decency in him that no one else has been able to detect. Although she has arrested him on various occasions when he broke the law, she has always looked out for his welfare and tried to keep him out of serious trouble both in and out of the slammer. She seems intent on reforming him or rescuing him from his depraved lifestyle.

Shane worships the ground she walks on. While he hates and detests cops in general, he adores Jennifer Dana. This amuses Don greatly, and he once attempted to make a pass at Ms Dana, but did not succeed. She put him in an armlock. When Shane found out about it later, he went berserk and broke Don's nose, while Don gave him a black eye and a couple of loose teeth in return. They didn't talk to each other for days after that.

Shane and Don are deeply attached to each other, though, because they are basically all they've got in this world, and as Shane often says, "Blood is thicker than water, eh?....Maybe even thicker than beer...or...ketchup...Well, okay, maybe not ketchup."

Matter of fact, Shane once saved Don's life from a convict named Snake when they were in jail together. Snake was a huge guy with an ugly attitude and a need to terrorize people. One day he tried to stick a knife in Don and Shane leaped on his back, whaled away on him, and choked him so hard that he lost consciousness, thus saving his big brother from an untimely demise. This was extraordinary heroism, something Shane has seldom shown, and it proves how deeply he does love his brother in the final analysis, despite periodic disagreements over women, beer, money, and other stuff like that.

Don is a pretty cool guy for a hoser. He drives a red pickup truck, works a real job at the local garage (in defiance of longstanding McBride tradition), and has had an almost endless succession of girlfriends over the years, most of them quite attractive...generally sort of working class girls with a yen for action, adventure, and a bit of risk. These are girls who are not afraid to enter a "wet T-shirt" contest at the Iron Horse Bar or drive at 120mph on backwoods logging roads. Don's success with women is so legendary, in fact, that he figured Jenny Dana would be an easy conquest, but it didn't turn out that way. He figures that she is too "stuck up" to go out with a hoser, "so flip her" (which is exactly what he had in mind).

Don's success with women is a constant annoyance to Shane. He comforts himself by drawing attention to the fact that Don is bald on top, while Shane still has all his hair...hair which, by the way, is in a mullet cut, dirty blonde hair, shaggy to just above the shoulders, and with the addition of a poorly trimmed mustache and a five o'clock shadow.

Shane figures that he is at least as cool as Johnny Depp, maybe moreso. (He's dead wrong about that.) He figures he is God's greatest gift to women. (Dead wrong again!) His greatest hero is Don Cherry, the Canadian TV hockey commentator. He hopes that Cherry will someday become Prime Minister of Canada.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 08:45 AM

Oh, c'mon, LH. You know that Shame's hair is "blonde" due to the effects of seagull droppings. His natural hair color is a sort of slimy puce. And that's not a mustache, but a fungus living on his nose drippings.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 12:35 PM

LH, is it me? I was in Canada for a week, and not one person said "eh".

The important thing about Don and Shane is not are they bald, are they shaggy, do they have 5 o'clock shadow? As far as women are concerned, the important thing is, "Does he have a twinkle in his eye?"

By the way, what's a hoser?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 12:59 PM

"Eh?" is basically an Ontario expression as far as I know, and I think it's gradually dying out, probably due to television being mostly dominated by American programming.

"Does he have a twinkle in his eye?" ????????????? THAT'S the crucial matter in attracting women?

Shit.

NOW I find out. After all these years! AAAARGGGGHHH!

(sigh)

This explains why my friend David is irresistible to women. He ALWAYS has a twinkle in his eye. I only rarely do. I tend to be seeee-rious. It may be almost too late to do anything about this, I fear...

Okay, moving on...a "hoser" is another Canadian expression. It basically means a not very smart young man, probably rural, seldom employed, rather oafish, devoted to basic carnal pursuits among which are drinking, dope smoking, casual sex, sleeping in, eating pizza and other fast food, avoiding work, and being an irresponsible layabout.

Hosers tend to think they are pretty cool people, though, and they take pride in their working class origins and knowledge of heavy metal music. They make very poor husbands and have great difficulty staying employed for long. They have a very poor relationship with the forces of law and order, but cannot be called "criminals", because they aren't really dangerous...just a bit of an annoyance. Many hosers can be found in any Canadian town, usually hanging out at local bars or just standing around on the sidewalk and having a smoke.

Shane is the epitome of hoserhood. He has it totally mastered. Don is close...only he works a real job.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 02:52 PM

""Eh?" is basically an Ontario expression as far as I know, and I think it's gradually dying out, probably due to television being mostly dominated by American programming."

Take off eh, ya hoser.

Short for hosehead. One who has a hose connected to his head for continuous beer supply directly to the brain which makes one stunned as me arse all the time.

leeneia... where in Canada?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 02:54 PM

Wiki says... Like the very similar term hosehead, the term may have referred to farmers of the Canadian prairies, who would siphon gas from farming vehicles with a hose during the Great Depression of the 1930s.[citation needed] The expression has since been converted to the verb 'to hose' as in to trick, deceive, or steal - for example: "That card-shark sure hosed me." Hosed has an additional meaning of becoming drunk - for example: "Let's go out and get hosed." Another possible origin is derived from hockey slang. Before ice resurfacers, the losing team in a hockey game would have to hose down the rink after a game. Thus the term "hoser" being synonymous with "loser".

A hoser's flannel shirt may also be referred to as a "Kenora dinner jacket". (Some regional variations of this term also exist, usually substituting a hoser-stereotyped local community's name in place of Kenora.)

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 02:59 PM

Shame's, on the other hand, is known as a "Mylunchiscomingup dinner jacket."

Shame is a hoser because he drools "like a leaky hose."

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 03:53 PM

Yeah. Well here is a Kent County Tux

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 04:04 PM

Surely you do not mean this "Dingle"" in Nova Scotia? ""although the word 'dingle' means "a small wooded valley, a shady dell, a narrow cleft between hills", here in Halifax it refers to the Sir Sandford Fleming Park, or simply, Fleming Park""


The Dingle, Halifax, Nova Scotia

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 04:06 PM

In "the Dingle" park in Halifax Nova Scotia, there lies a Frog Pond>
That would seem like a more proper place for Shane to reside in, or near

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 04:06 PM

In "the Dingle" park in Halifax Nova Scotia, there lies a Frog Pond>
That would seem like a more proper place for Shane to reside in, or near

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 04:10 PM

A hoser sounds like the guys we call rowdy or ornery (pronounced on-ree down here in Missouri.) 'Redneck' isn't quite degenerate enough.
===========
I think Fred Astaire was a good example of a guy with a twinkle in his eye. For example:

Uptight Russian secret policewoman: Are you the oppressor or the oppressed?

Fred Astaire: Oh, an oppressor. I'm sure as a fellow oppressor you agree it's much the best position.
===========

gnu, we went to the Rockies for a week.   Jasper, Yoho and Banff National Parks. The mountains were incredible, and we saw caribou and bears. Not many birds, though.

It was a wonderful trip.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 05:45 PM

leeneia... well there ya go eh? Full of tourists and yuppies. Not many Eh-typical types around sure.

But, better'n a week in the fly-infested bog country of Kent County New Brunswick wit da loikes far worse than there Shane. Even Rap wouldn't mess wit da boys up country eh.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 06:03 PM

oops... than that there Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Sep 11 - 07:50 PM

Rap doesn't "mess" with anyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 10:33 AM

Come to think of it, doesn't Shame's ancestors hold some kind of record for inbreeding? I think it was in the Guinness Book where I saw that. They were breeding for ugly, filthy, lazy, drunken, vermin attraction, stupidity and criminality, as I recall. Shame is the apogee (or perigee) of their centuries of effort.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 10:33 AM

Oh, the point was to raise the family standards.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 12:18 PM

Shane is indeed the crowning culmination of centuries, perhaps milennia of McBride selective breeding. He has achieved an awesome level of hoserhood surpassed by none. I expect that one day a monument will be erected in stone in appreciation of his unique contributions to North Ontario culture...such as it is.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 03:34 PM

Or a dump.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: BTNG
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 03:41 PM

there are rumours (or rumors, if you will) that there are members of The McBride family in Saskatchewan, at least that's what the police forces here keep saying, approach with caution is the favoured (or favored, if you will) response by the law...

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 04:31 PM

There is also a clone of Shane living out in B.C., I think maybe in Vancouver. His name is Shawn McBaird. He was the discarded first attempt by the Greys (space aliens) to clone Shane back to life after he died in a freak accident...he was crushed in a trash compactor in Sudbury while attempting to flee from the police. The Greys didn't get it quite right the first time, in terms of balancing the various elements in Shane's personality. Being desirous of not hurting any lifeform, they named that first attempt "Shawn McBaird" and beamed him over to B.C. so that it would be unlikely he'd run into Shane on the street, but he could still live a Canadian life, eh?

The Greys then successfully cloned Shane on the 2nd attempt and returned him to his normal life in North Ontario. The main change was that he got a brand new set of perfect teeth to replace the old ones. Damn good thing! The old ones were not in good shape.

There are rumours that Shawn McBaird has started up a heavy metal band in Vancouver and is busy destroying people's eardrums and inciting riots. If so, he has realized a lifelong dream of Shanes! Shane can only play air guitar. It may be that Shawn got an excess of musical tendencies programmed into him in the first cloning. But I'll have to hear the band first to be certain about that.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 06:15 PM

...or a sewage lagoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 07:34 PM

Vancouver? Maybe, Hastings Street.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: BTNG
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 08:13 PM

For the love of God! Don't mention THAT episode on Hastings Street. We had a devil of time hushing the incident up, keeping the police away and paying off the right people with, shall we say, appropriate amounts of cash. The goat will be in therapy for quite sometime yet has developed a nervous tic in its right eye and continues to mumble something about keyholes.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Sep 11 - 09:30 PM

Where's Shane?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 12:06 AM

The rumours are the RCMP has McBridewatch is the south-eastern corner of
Saskatchewan. SaskPower has reported an increase use of electricity and the recent arrival of a Tige McBride, a cousin 5-times removed, and why he was removed he will not dwell on this time, but the dog is doing okay, in Estevan, working at Boundary Dam. A new greenhouse has been build on an acreage near the dam. And new supergrass is now circulating   
that is said to cause Satan to have shakes and politcos to tell the truth. Now Tige is the first SK Public Enemy #1, and most popular person of the UofR campus.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 12:09 AM

I don't think Shane is anywhere near mean enough to do well in a place like Hastings Street in Vancouver. He'd be horrified by what's going on there. This guy, Shawn McBaird, though...he may be a different story. The question is, how many of Shane's good traits were passed on to Shawn? This would depend on how effectively the Greys calibrated and tuned the cloning device. It is also possible that some genes from a stray cat or dog got mixed in with the material they salvaged from the garbage.

The Greys have taken care to prevent Shane and Shawn from every meeting one another face to face as it might cause some kind of dimensional shift and bring about the catastrophic destruction or permanent alteration of the world as we know it...specially if they were ever to make direct physical contact!

Let's hope Shawn's band never plays in Blind River. That would not be good.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 07:12 PM

Ed... that's a very disturbing video. Sad. Shaking to the core. In the "best city in the world". Sickening. Something is wrong.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Oct 11 - 09:11 PM

...take up arms against a sea of troubles, and by opposing, end them.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 11 - 10:54 AM

To get back to the topic, I'm still not really convinced that Shame's family HAD a history. I kinda think Shame crawled out of the filth and ooze of a North Ontario cesspool and was taken in by a pitying McBride family.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 02 Oct 11 - 05:39 PM

Recently the sporadic reports of a hairy, ugly and malodorous creature with three legs in woods around near LaRonge in Northern Saskatchewan excited much discussion during July and August of this year. It was said the sight of the thing was enough cause male bears to hide and weep, along with many Sasquatches.

Well, it turned out to be none other than Tige's younger brother, Jack 'The Skunk' McBride, Regina enforcer for the family. His body odour is so notorious, just the threat of removing his jacket was enough for the Hell's Angels to pay tribute. The smell forms a force field around him so powerful that is impregnable to bullets, radiation and hell-fire.

Professors at the University of Saskatchewan have offered Jack as proof that Cro-Magnon and Neanderthal were not separate species but sub-species of Homo Sapiens. The cross-breeding usual occurred after Cro-Magnon males indulged in the drink called by Neanderthal females called red power juice. This also where the term 'coyote ugly' originated, after the males awoke and found out what had happened.

Despite the reaction males have to his odour, it is strangely attractive females, so there are now numerous children running around Regina who look like Jack.

The Investigative Bureau of Saskatchewan (IBS) has announced that Jack has promised to refrain from walking through the north woods naked, frighten old men and exciting old maids. He confine his nude rambling to his moated and walled LaRonge compound. The bear and Sasquatch populations has only recently been seen in there area.

Oh yes. The report of the third leg. That is another reason Jack is popular with the female population.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 02 Oct 11 - 05:53 PM

Sounds like Shane... just a big dick.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Oct 11 - 07:57 PM

Yeah, I was sort of wondering about the third leg. Shane yearns to have a whanger of such monstrous proportions, but the rumour is that it's pretty much average, size-wise.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Oct 11 - 09:01 PM

Actual photos taken by the OPP on various occasions shows that, like Shame, there is much less there than meets the eye.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 02 Oct 11 - 10:24 PM

The OPP dicks take pics of dicks?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 12:00 AM

Y'all have overdone it. You're beginning to sound like teenagers spreading rumors about a kid who's not cool.

I bet Shane is an okay guy who drinks beer, does a little dope, doesn't mow his lawn much because it actually contains no grass, and is the guy you would call for help if your car broke down 100 miles, I mean kilometers, from home.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: JennieG
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 01:01 AM

So if neither Shane nor Don breed, that would be the end of the McBride line? or of that particular branch, at least?

Praise the Lord for small mercies.......

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 08:28 AM

I bet if my car breaks down I'd call AAA, CAA, or AA. If Shame did show up I would call S&W.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 10:06 AM

Yeah, right. Rap, you are so tough. ;)

Every circle of acquaintance needs somebody uncool who gets invited to parties so he can put away the tables and chairs when it's over. I bet Shane is the guy.

I'm familiar with this because I'm that kind of person. My church once mounted a campaign to restore its stained-glass, and my husband and I helped a lot. At the end there was a thank-you dinner for the donors and volunteers. We were honored guests, but we also found ourselves cleaning up after it.

My husband was irritated, but I just laughed.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 10:08 AM

Yep, yep. It's an old story.

I bet he plays banjo at their parties too. And when there's a potluck, Shane brings meat and all the others bring bags of chips.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 10:10 AM

Behold the shocking evidence that Saskatchewan has indeed suffered an infestation of McBrides. An RCMP task force is said to be investigating the possibility that Sam hid out there for a spell in the Fifties.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 03:47 PM

Kinda odd that they they would attack the ambulance if they were defending their god given right to get drunk and drive their ATVs where the law says you can't. I would ask a question at this point but I'd be assailed for asking it. I think I know the answer. And, no, I won't ask it if asked to do so... I can't be strung up for what I am thinking.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 04:02 PM

There are a lotta flippin' LIES bein' told here, eh? I hardly flippin' know where to start! Whatta buncha flipheads youse peple must be!

My fambly is proud to be from Ireland, the flippin' greenest place on the face of the flippin' Eathr! When St Patrick's Day rolls around we get so flippin' wasted that you would not even believe it.

We are also real proud to be Canadian, eh? I mean those of us that, like, came here to Canada. Canada is the greatest place in the whole flippin' world, eh? Where else do you got Brador Beer, Don Cherry, and the Big Nickle? Eh? Nowheres else! That is why Canada rules!

Them peple in Saskeatchewan was dead flippin' RIGHT to attack the flippin' cops. The cops was innerferin' in privae busines like they usually do and they didn't have no bizness to do that, eh? Okay, it was goin' a bit too far to attack the ambullance...I would not of done that...but ya gotta give people some leeway when they are drinkin' cos things can get a bit outta hand, you know?

Anyways, I figger there are some proud McBrides livin' in every province of Canada by now. No fear of that, eh?

This bolthole that calls himself Shawn McBaird is a total idiot that don't have no right to be showin' his face arownd anywheres, and if I ever see him I will kick his ass! He is just a pail refleckshun of ME. Same goes for Rapparee. He is lower than a snake's coal chute. What a flippin' waste of valyable space that idiot is!

And what is this about me bein' uncool!???? I am the coolest dude within 8000 flippin' miles! Everyone knows that, eh? Women all want me. Men all wish they was me. That is all their is to it and nothin' more to be said about it.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 06:41 PM

Shane... Del tells me, after huntin season and Johnny gets off parole (you remember the insurance thing?), him and Johnny and Dale are gonna come and visit youse guys, as long as Dale stays outta jail an Daisy don't get knocked up again. She's wild when she's with eh.

They are gonna buy a comeback at the auction and drive up and sell it and rent a U-Haul and fill it with cheap beer on the way back in La Belle Province. That'll pay fer the trip and make enough money ta feed the still fer the winter, especially when they don't pay the U-Haul bill. Sounds like a plan eh?

An Del asked me how much smoke is goin fer in Uppity Canada. It's October eh? An we ain't had a frost to speak of yet so the buds are huge man. We're talkin 8 to 10 feet tall! ALL females! Gonna have turkey at Xmas this year insteada moose. Livin the high life eh. Don't get much better n that.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 03 Oct 11 - 10:17 PM

I have found that, without a doubt, Shame McBride is a carbon-based, bipedal, drooling, parasitical, non-sapient pseudo-life form resulting from the asexual division of certain as yet unidentified amino acids in the double helix (which is thought in his case to be a single helix).

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 02:28 AM

You are such a fliphead, Rapparee! You should learn to, like, talk in flippin' ENGLISH you bolthead! I know you are usin' a buncha real bad words in, like, French or Laten or some other stoopid langwage to put me down, man. You know what you can do?

You can FLIP RIGHT OFF!!!



Hey, gnu? That is real cool to hear that Del and Johnny and Dale are gonna come and visit! Any time, man, any time. Me and Don will be waitin' for youse and put aside the best flippin' stuff we got. You otta bring some of yer best too and we can, like, compaire yer Eastern weed with our North Ontario weed. I am figgerin' on a party that will be remembered arownd here for a real long flippin' time! Rock on, dudes! I can't flippin' wait for youse to get here.

- Shane

p.s. regardin' Daisy. Have ya tried the pill?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 07:44 AM

Have her try the pill before she gives birth to another Shame, the best argument there is for retrospective abortion.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 05:02 PM

There will NEVER be another ME, Rap, cos I am the only one. The day I flippin' came inta the world the mold was broke becoz it ain't possible to improve on perfeckshun! I am the ultimate flippin' eggsample of what I am and no one can ever do better at it...or match it, eh? I rule! You drool. That is alls I got to say.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 05:28 PM

As I said, the poster boy for retrospective abortion.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 05:46 PM

Daisy can't do pills. She swells up like a ballon. The water retention is like she's havin ten tuplets. And you know what THAT means. Wild and NOT preggers. THAT'S fookin WILD man! Last time she was on the pill she took one a them blue elastics the mailman uses and flattened the gas on Dale's ATV, pointed it into the trees, hit the electric start and shifted it into gear. Oh man, what a fookin tragedy... it was a slow death.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 05:47 PM

Shawn McBride visited his cousin Tige last week. During this time, two new members were added to 'The Family', during the ritual known as 'The Kissing of the Ass'. This involved the kissing of Jack's hairy ass while suppressing the urge to projectile vomit your entire digestive tract. The inductees, described as extreme masochists, only brought up their stomachs, but the doctors on hand were able to shove them back down. They described the odour as a mixture of Limburger cheese, skunk and several rotting corpses. And that is nicest anyone has described Jack's odour. All in all, it was a successful swearing in. Especially after everyone swore at everyone else. The screech flowed very freely, at both ends.

Shawn and Tige disgusted, I mean discussed, the possible use of Tige's genetically alter super-grass as a alternative fuel source. It is reported you can get a hundred miles per lid. They decided to form a company to develop it. Soon, both you and your car can get tanked at the same time. NASA has expressed interest for use on the International Space Station. A new high for everyone.

Jack has been involved in another scandal. It appears after consuming a fifth of rye, a bottle of absinthe, two dozen tankards of beer, and something green and glowing he found bubbling away at the bottom of a rusty steel barrel, he went roaming the countryside looking for sex. He was found passed out in a farmer's field surrounded by a dozen cows. They were described as being dazed and confused but very satisfied.

One cow said, "I felt the earth MOOve. I cannot stop sighing and MOOaning. Come back to me, Jackie-Boy."

One other cow said, "It was dark and all I could tell that it was something big, hairy and smelly. I thought it was Rex the Bull. Only in the morning did I see it wasn't."

Rex the Bull was so enraged at what happened that he charged at Jack at full tilt. Owing to his speed and the intensity of Jack's smell, when he got within twenty feet, he just winked out. Scienctist believe Rex is now in another demension and has become a become one of the meta-bulls also known as meta-bs. The farmer has been paid a very large sum and two hundred pounds of weed as compensation.

I was going to talk about what happened when Jack went to Winnipeg for a Jets game, but due to the gag order, I cannot. Just let me say, it is the real reason Air Canada wants to keep its personnel out of downtown, especially the stewardesses.

Well that's all for now from the Saskatchewan side of the family.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 06:10 PM

Jack has done enough breeding for the whole family, so they will be with us for many a year.

I forgot to add that I found out the brothers' full names.

Tige is Tiger Napoleon Alexander Adolf Attila Genghis Caesar Tamerlane McBride the Fourth.

Jack is Jackford Necronomicon Miskatonic Cthulhu Innsmouth Dunwich Mephistopheles McBride.

I think this really explains a lot of what is going on.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 06:24 PM

Wow! It sounds like the Saskatchewan McBrides are carrying on the "fambly" tradition in a truly grand manner.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 06:36 PM

It's said that Jack wasn't born. He was squeezed out of a moldy bar rag.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 06:53 PM

A fine bit of metaphor. Shane could relate to that.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 08:42 PM

Jack worships the ground that walks under Shane's feet. Especially if he doesn't want Don to take his .44 Magnum to him. Don uses teflon-coated bullets, the only known substance to break through Jack's odour-based force field.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: BTNG
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 09:00 PM

Aunt Felicia McBryde and Cousin Nugent McBryde, from where? and from which side of da "fambly"?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 04 Oct 11 - 09:12 PM

Reports are coming in that there might some McBrides down in North Dakota. 'Da Fambly' is expanding, like a virulent virus.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 12:18 AM

Yup. They are breaking out all over, and probably breaking out of a jail near YOU!

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 06:42 AM

Ah got mah shootin' ahrns all ready.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 01:22 PM

Despite the higher than average mortality rate of young McBride men, who seem to meet an amazing variety of untimely deaths due to alcohol, violence, and sheer stupidity, the clan has steadily grown in the last 500 years...to the point where there are now McBrides in every province of Canada and every state of the USA...and they are beginning to penetrate Latin America!

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 02:18 PM

Different than Kent County good ol boys. They never seem to die. Just the opposite. They end up with broken bones and all kinds a nasties but they always seem to live to tell an brag about it. Cept fer Buddy Boudreaux. Sniff. He went to that big beech grove in the sky some years back. But, Buddy was a show off that didn't have what it took. When yer six foot tall an ya weigh 140 pounds, ya DON'T chase an eight pointer with an ATV in a clearcut.

Oh, mabey with a Cow but not a Honda Foreman... idiot! 70 kph ain't gonna cut the biscuit when he gets pissed off. Anyway, the video gets played to the little good ol boys on the ATV safety course now as a teachin aid so's they learn bettern ta chase what's biggern em.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 07:46 PM

Penetrate, Little Hawk?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: BTNG
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 08:47 PM

Well, The McBrides and penetration are synonymous, the old tale about holding a snake straight more than likely had its roots with a McBride.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 10:16 PM

Yeah, each one learns the phrase Cervaza por los todos! Yo soy uno mericon!"

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 05 Oct 11 - 10:27 PM

You noticed, Bob! ;-) Yes, McBride men are willing and ready to penetrate just about anything...as long as they think it's female. Barnyard animals, wild animals, art objects, veterinarial staff, and "furrin" nations...all are at risk from the unsolicited attentions of Shane and his male relatives near and far.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 10:21 AM

Election day in Ontario. I wonder who Shane's gonna put his X beside?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 11:22 AM

His name. If it's a legal document he has to have his "X" witnessed.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 02:23 PM

"Barnyard animals, wild animals...."

That is positively beastly!

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: BTNG
Date: 06 Oct 11 - 02:34 PM

animals of the Serengeti perhaps......

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 07 Oct 11 - 11:10 PM

The McBrides' in North Dakota are caused by Jack on a bender in Minot. Oh the beast!

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 01:42 AM

Eccles, I am fascinated by your intimate knowledge of the McBride clan. Have you made a lengthy study of their predilections and depredations upon society?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 01:54 PM

I would, as I have posted elsewhere, like to take this opportunity to apologize to Shame McBride for all of the mean, rotten, and nasty things I have said about him in the past.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 05:42 PM

At LAST! That is a flippin' handsome offer, Rap. I axcept yer apologie. I am not one to hold a grudge when the other flipper eckstends the hand of piece, eh? This could be the start of a great flippin' friendship!

Got any smokes?

- Shane

As fer the rest of you flipheads and yer stoopid insults: FLIP OFF!

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: BTNG
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 05:47 PM

As Mr. Eccles publisher (we are not the same person, despite what the gossips and old ladies around the village pump might thing) I can reveal that in the next 6 months the first volume of a very extensive work on The McBrides will be published. More details to follow

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 06:26 PM

As I said elsewhere, I would like to apologize to Shame...but I won't.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 11 - 07:57 PM

Ahhhh... so the drugs from the op finally wore off eh Rap?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 09 Oct 11 - 02:48 AM

When Jack is in his cups, which is usually always, he insists on telling me everything when he runs over me. And that is whether I want to know or not. And I usually don't. But...............

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 Oct 11 - 08:40 AM

First he runs over you and then he gives you the news? No first aid?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 10 Oct 11 - 05:45 AM

You want mouth to mouth from (*sounds projectile puking*) Jack?????

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 Oct 11 - 09:55 AM

No,no -- you said he ran over YOU.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 22 Oct 11 - 06:01 PM

Trot on over to here:

http://www.cbc.ca/quirks/

and I betcha they used Jack as the proof!

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 22 Oct 11 - 08:56 PM

Don't be dissin' my fambly, man! You do not wanna get me mad.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 Oct 11 - 10:31 PM

Yeah, he might have rabies, considerin' his ancestry. Did you know that every day when he'd come home from missin' school his mother would run out from under the porch and bite Shame's tail?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 22 Oct 11 - 10:38 PM

His mother? That's beneath low man.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 11 - 09:54 AM

Maybe it was his sister. Anyway, I'm amazed he actually HAS a family other than Don. I was under the assumption that Shame was the result of a chance mating between a slug and Poland China.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: TheFamousEccles
Date: 23 Oct 11 - 05:30 PM

The rabies virus wouldn't dare go near the McBride family. Too worried about getting the DT's. I once saw the cold virus after being in Jack, and it claimed it was seeing pink bacteria.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 Oct 11 - 06:44 PM

You know, it's hard to dis someone who is lower than anything you can say about them.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 11 - 10:02 AM

I checked is family tree and it's scum all the way down.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Oct 11 - 12:31 PM

You are such a flippin' retread, man. It is a flippin' wonder you can even, like, remember when to flippin' breethe!

If you was my dog I would have the flippin' vet put you down, eh?

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 24 Oct 11 - 07:43 PM

Shane. C'mon man. You would NOT do that. It costs, like 35 bucks man. A 22 behind the ear is a nickel, tops, on sale at Chinese Tire. And I figger you are frugal with yer coin eh? Calm down an stop talkin thru yer ass. I know yer smarter than that. I'll lend you a 22 but I need a small deposit on accounta Rap has enough firepower to start a small revolution. Yer gonna hafta be a tad covert in yer operations eh.

BTW... ya got a FAC... or a bastard file?

Dale

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 11 - 07:47 PM

Of course he does. Shame IS a bastard file.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 Oct 11 - 08:38 PM

I misspoke. Shame is NOT a bastard file, but is birth record is.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 24 Oct 11 - 11:48 PM

You got a real good point there, gnu. The fliphead is not worth payin' $35 vet fees to rid of him. Don has some firepower here that I could flippin' use if it come to that. I know that the Bolthole From Idaho has enuff flippin' guns and stuff to stock a flippin' army. He has made it clear that he is one of them crazy redneck types that, like, live in a flippin' bunker somewhere and they are preparin' for World War 4. On account of that I would be real careful about tryin' to, like, dispose of him by violins, eh? Them types are best left flippin' ALONE and let the flippin' government come callin' and take 'em out with a flippin' swat team, some heliocoppters and a buncha them big Adams tanks they got. I bet it would be a fight that would flippin' go on for DAYS, man! And be on all the TV and Youtube, eh?

I am bidin' my time here. The Bolthole From Idaho is gonna go down one day by his own flippin stoodipity, but not by my hand. I am too smart for him, eh? I do not go rollin' around in a beer barrel alongside of a flippin' rabied wolverine. Not this boy! No sir. I got the branes. Rapoop has only got the firepower and a real buncha bad attitude. Branes will win out in the end, eh?   Trust me. That is why I already come so far in life and am a flippin' legend in my mind.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 25 Oct 11 - 05:07 AM

100

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 11 - 09:58 AM

In brief, Shame's so scared of me he'd poop his pants if we met -- except that no one could tell either from the odor OR from the previous condition of his pants.

But I will say that the boy has a lot on his side: cowardice, vainglory, hubris, gluttony, sloth, intransigence, gullibility -- everything except lust, but that's something he never has any need for.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: olddude
Date: 25 Oct 11 - 12:33 PM

Who is this person .. another fiction like chongo?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Penelope Rutledge
Date: 25 Oct 11 - 05:48 PM

Amazing, isn't it, how the innocent and untutored...even the downright dense...can somehow find their way by sheer instinct, muddle through a complex maze that would daunt the more learned mind, and uncover the hidden Easter egg that lies within it?

*PR

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 25 Oct 11 - 05:50 PM

You suggestin' I'm a mere figment, Dan? Better watch it. I might get offended.

- Chongo

p.s. Hey, Penny...how's Soho lookin' these days?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 11 - 07:15 PM

Ah, yes. "Bad Penny" Rutledge, and they used to call her, who was always coming. Hello, MADAM Penny! How are the girls these days? Still making your money the "old-fashioned way"?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 25 Oct 11 - 08:57 PM

Penny darlin dear! How nice to hear your eloquence.

Dan THE Man... which of the non-existant are you asking after when you ask, "Who is this person...

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Oct 11 - 11:08 PM

Shame McBride, who posted as BDIBR, in unreal. He exists only in his own mind, of which he has none. The philosophical implications of this are staggering, as he usually is -- not through drunkenness, but because he has a difficult time walking and breathing at the same time. He is an excellent, if not THE most excellent, argument for retrospective abortion.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 12:04 AM

Aren't you afraid of hurting his feelings by saying things like that?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 09:52 AM

I can out shoot, outfight, out knife, out talk, out swim, out drink, out eat and out love him. My daddy was a hurricane and my momma a tornado, my grandparents were earthquake, flood, plague and volcanic eruption. I can stop the movement of tectonic plates with one finger and stop the rotation of the Earth with one hand.

If poor widdle baby Shame's feelings are hurt he should have learned his potty training. Then he wouldn't have to depend on Depends (or diapers) now.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 12:29 PM

What are you trying to say? ;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 01:58 PM

Shame McBride is a big poop-head with poopy pants.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: BTNG
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 02:01 PM

Is Shame McBride related to Chongo the Chimp?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 06:51 PM

Only in the same sense that we all are, BTNG.

Chongo and Shane would despise one another, assuming their paths ever crossed. They would each consider the other beneath contempt...although Shane would probably be curious about Chongo, cos you don`t see too many talking apes in Blind River! (excluding the patrons of the Iron Horse Tavern...)

Chongo would not be curious about Shane in the least. He`s seen enough lowlife humans by now to be completely blase` about them unless they are armed and showing hostile intent...in which case he ventilates them with the tommy gun or blows em away with his handy M1911 pistol.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Bob the Postman
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 07:46 PM

"Is Shame McBride related to Chongo the Chimp?"

This is indeed the question. As yet, no one has directly addressed the hybrid-human issue raised by TheFamousEccles when he revived this important thread, although Rapparee's immediate post-revival posts hint that he is, as so often, in the know. For the benefit of those who neglected to open Famous's link, the gist of it is that scientists have recently proven that many modern humans are in fact sapiens-neanderthal crosses. Other modern humans are crosses between H. sapiens and a species known only as the Denisovans--a species known only from a little girl's finger and somebody's molar. Still other modern humans, most of them natives of Africa, are pedigree H. sapiens. So if you and I are part ape-man, isn't it well within the bounds of possibility that the McBride clan (and I mean no disrespect when I say this) are part ape? It shouldn't be too difficult to decide this interesting question one way or the other. After all, the McBride DNA is among the most intensively studied on the planet (seven times in the last three years, by the OPP alone). Granted, Chongo himself is sui generis (again, no disrespect is intended, quite the contrary actually) but troglodyte is as troglodyte does.

So there you have it. You can argue with Shane. You can argue with me. You can even argue with Richard Bridge (as many have learned, to their chagrin). But you can't argue with Science.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 08:22 PM

Waiiiiit a minute! Who says you can`t argue with science (Interrogative symbol)

Scientists often disagree over scientific matters. There have again and again been scientists who presented new theories and independent interpretations of the existing evidence and were furiously attacked by their colleagues for doing so...laughed at...jeered at...threatened in various ways...refused research funds...driven from the fold..........and yet were later proven to be RIGHT!

Thus, you most definitely CAN argue with science, if you decide to. If scientists ALREADY knew EVERYTHING there is to know about EVERYTHING, and they knew it all beyond any shadow of doubt, then you could not argue with science.

They don`t. ;-) And they won`t later either. They will continue to argue about science long after you and I have departed this mortal coil.

**** Quite aside from that, I think it rather likely that Shane`s remote forbears did indeed mate with neanderthals, apes or something else along that line. (they mated with sheep too...but that did not produce any offspring).

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Oct 11 - 09:15 PM

Shame is Jesus' little lamb
His parents made him what he am
Jesus will wash him white as snow.
What a filthy job for little Jesus.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 01:20 PM

I hearn a rumer that some fliphead out there is inpersonaitin' me on Mudcat again! When I find out who it is he is gonna DIE! Not only that. He is makin' me look like some kinda sad wimp that flippin' got "saved" by Jesus or somethin'! There ain't no fate crool enuff for somebuddy who would do that to me in my own name, eh? I got a repitation to maintane in this town. NOBODY takes my name in vane! This idiot who is pretendin' to be ME is gonna pay BIGTIME. I will hunt him down like a dog and bust his ugly face.

You now what this is? It's flippin' indemnity theft!!!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 03:15 PM

Wouldn't that be double indemnity theft?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Amos
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 03:22 PM

Mayhap, good Shame, that being saved by Jesus is a course of action thou shouldst well consider for the ultimate succour of your poor, tortured soul. Even you cannot deny that your life so far--embroiled with tumult andf adversarial posturing, echoing with the ring of hollw threats and empty braggodocio, riddled with want and unsatiated desires for the shallowest of mortal satisfactions--has not been any great success so far. (Except for that girl Debbie from the "Anchor Tavern". So you got lucky once.)
It is possible that, as a troubled but imaginary character, you should seek your own kind, and find solace among the best of all imaginary characters, the son of God his own self!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Oct 11 - 03:24 PM

Shame, for the life of me I can't understand why someone would pretend to be such a rum-sodden, dumpster-diving loser as you are. You can't even understand your own identity, much less accuse someone else of stealing it. God! Why would they?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 12:53 PM

You must be joking! Shane considers himself to be a vital male role model for the entire North Ontarian region.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 02:45 PM

Can't be true. Oh, sure, he may possibly have XY chromosones, but they were mutated. I've heard that his chromosonal chart is actually XXXXXXy and he attempts to cover up his...all--too-obvious weaknesses... by uttering loud, obnxious, incessant, and untruthful noises from one of his bodily orifices.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 02:59 PM

You should have said "from one or another of his bodily orifices".

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: gnu
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 03:07 PM

Verbal flatulence?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 03:14 PM

Oral diarrhea.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 03:25 PM

Youse people are so flippin' LAME! It makes me sad to even think abowt it, eh? I know the real story, eh? Youse are jellous! That's right, you herd me. Jellous! Youse are all so flippin' jelluos of ME that you can hardly flippin' stand it.

And you got reazon to be. I flippin' WON last night's tallent contest at the Iron Horse Tavern, eh? Yeah! I am the champ! NO ONE is my eqaul. No one else can mesher up to Shane McBride!

You wanna know how I won? Huh? I bet you do.

Maybe I won't tell you. Maybe I will just let youse all suffer by not knowin' how I won.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 03:43 PM

They have contests in Blind River for the person who can vomit in their pants pockets the most? Or was it one for the most body lice?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Oct 11 - 09:55 PM

Good heavens! I've found the explanation for Shame McBride!

Other members of the A. suum secretome are predicted to direct or evade immune responses. These peptides include a close homologue of the E/S-62 leucyl aminopeptidase of the filarioid nematode Acanthocheilonema viteae, which has been shown to inhibit B-cell, T-cell and mast cell proliferation/responses, promote an alternative activation of the host macrophages, through the inhibition of the Toll-like receptor signalling pathway, and induce a Th2 response through the inhibition of IL-12p70 production by dendritic cells. Additional, immunomodulatory molecules predicted for A. suum (BLASTp cut-off ≤10−5) include homologues of another B-cell inhibitor (that is, the B. malayi cystatin CPI-2), several TGF-β and macrophage initiation factor mimics, numerous neutrophil inhibitors, various oxidoreductases, and five close homologues of platelet anti-inflammatory factor α. Some A. suum E/S peptides are predicted to be involved in immune evasion; for instance, some mask parasite antigens by mimicking host molecules (such as several C-type lectins with close homology to vertebrate macrophage mannose or CD23 (low affinity IgE receptors).

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 12:40 AM

You got some serrious flippin' problems, man. If'n I was you I would get perfesshionla help.

Okay, I am gonna tell you how I won the tallent show, eh? It was a peece a cake. I am an expert at makin' armpit farts. I been doin' it for years, eh? You gotta trap some air in yer armpit and move yer arm against yer body real fast and you get a fart sound. I useta get in trouble at school doin' that and get sent to the flippin' principull regular, eh?

Okay. So I been practicin' till I can do it eether left handed or right handed, eh? And real loud too. And FAST! But here is my special secret. I rub bacon grease good and thick into both armpits. That works real good for makin' a good air seal so's you get FLIPPIN' LOUD fart sounds when you pump yer arms fast against yer body.

I can alternate real fast between the left arm and the right arm to get a sound like a fart machine gun or a crummy lawnmore startin' up.

I did this on stage at the Iron Horse and I was bear from the waste up so my lumberjack shirt would not cramp my amazin' style, eh? I wowed 'em. You shoulda hearn the applaws. People were hootin' and hollerin' and throwin' beer bottles and everthing. Girls were takin' there shirts off! I am the BEST, man, the flippin' BEST!

And you missed it, fliphead. Good thing. If you hadda been there, you woulda died from yer jellousy of my total awesomeness.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 29 Oct 11 - 10:52 PM

Uh-huh. Right. Sure.

Were the women taking their shirts off and fanning the breeze with them? Because I'm certain you cheated and had cabbage and bean burritos and cheap beer beforehand. Then you could flap your arms all you want and still make those sounds.

Or you could have just stood still and talked. Same thing, even to the odor.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 10:58 AM

One day, man. One day you will reelize that you can't flippin' out talk Shane McBride. Put that idea right outta yer mind, flipface, cos you are flippin' with the BEST when you flip with Shane McBride!

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 01:54 PM

The best what? Bad example? Onanist? Eonist? All three?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: GUEST,Blind DRunk in Blind River
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 07:13 PM

I do not play the flippin' organ! You want to hear the organ? Go to church. You wanna hear Ozzie and Spinal Tap? Come to our place.

- Shane

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Oct 11 - 09:46 PM

Ozzie Nelson worked with Spinal Tap? I thought he was too busy raising Ricky and what's-his-name.

That's okay, Shame. I won't tell people you want "Ozzie and Harriet" reruns.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 31 Oct 11 - 09:16 PM

I understand that Hallowe'en is the McBride family's major holiday.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 31 Oct 11 - 10:03 PM

They really like St Patrick's Day a lot too. It's a great excuse to get drunk on green beer over at the Iron Horse and celebrate their Irish ancestry as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Aug 18 - 11:52 AM

Refresh! (eh?)

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Aug 18 - 09:09 PM

Oh, look! BDIBR (a/k/a Shame McBride, the Shame of the McBrides)!

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Gutcher
Date: 02 Aug 18 - 09:24 AM

The Scottish branch of Shanes ancestors, in Galloway, were for generations famed as makers of oxter pipes....is this where the BO problems originated?

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: leeneia
Date: 02 Aug 18 - 11:28 AM

Hi, Little Hawk. Nice to have you back.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Aug 18 - 12:31 PM

Thanks! Nice to "see" you too.

Subject: RE: BS: Shane McBride's family history, eh?
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Aug 18 - 09:32 PM

Poor Shame! The Blind River town council condemned him and he's been torn down.