Song Challenge! Part 17

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Áine
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:56 AM

That's great, Hyp! Oh, the images that your song conjured up - ROTFLMAO!! Well done!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Áine
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 06:31 PM

Well, it looks as if we've gotten all the entries for this Challenge! that we're going to get.

Just in case you haven't submitted your song yet, I'm letting all you Challenge!rs know that I'll be posting a new challenge in the morning. The Golden Cow Chip Awards will also be posted in the morning.

Thanks to those who have taken up the gauntlet on this one, and here's hoping that we've a couple more that do before tomorrow.

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Bradypus
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:08 PM

I don't know if I dare - this is a new genre for me!

The tune is 'Lulu had a Baby'. If you don't know the original, I hope this still works. I checked Digitrad for Lulu, and the best it came up with was another song described as having a similar tune to 'Lulu had a Baby'. Make of that what you will.

The song takes the advertising jingle approach - but perhaps takes it a bit too far ???

Something for the Weekend

Come to the Salon Sex Symbol
We'll not let you down
For hair styling and other things
The hottest place in town
Come and meet our stylists
The finest in the land
And if you're frustrated
They'll give you a

Handsome haircut, square across the back
Salon Sex Symbol's the place
Not a run down shack.

Come and have a haircut
And other things beside
Come and watch a film with us
Just come for the ride
Lovely girls, all of them
All polite, not rude
For a few bucks extra
They'll trim you in the

New designer fashion clothes they wear
Quite the finest show in town
When they're cutting hair.

Come and take a cabin
Come and watch them dance
Such delightful girls
We're sure they will entrance
Pay a few bucks extra
And if you're in luck
Extra services they'll give –
You can have a

Face wash, beard trim, shampoo and blow dry
Everything to make you smile, not to make you cry
Hey there! Say there! How's about a kiss
Hey there! Say there! That's the end of this!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:09 PM

*Cetchy liddle jingle*

If you need a haircut,
and your wife will not put out,
Well take right off that thimble, friend,
Sex symbol's the place to scout!

For here, we are your friends,
And here, you don't need to hiiiiide,
And here, we cut your hair,
So you feel good inside! *HEY!*

Soooooooooooooo,
If you need a haircut,
and your wife will not put out,
Well take right off that thimble, friend,
Sex symbol's the place to scout!

*V.O.* La Salon Sex Symbol, the place to be! (On the corner of fifth and main, ask for Candy and you'll be let right in!)

~Barky
(In the middle, it changes some....actually, alot..... Um... yeah... put it to whatever tune you want. It sucks...)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:27 PM

Hmmm...I'm still not too comfortable with the subject...so I'm a prude, what can I say? I have been thinking on one MAYBE, but I think it would be TOO evil to do up.

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:41 PM

Nothing could be too evil, Mbo! *Big Evil Grin*

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:43 PM

Well, I'll try my best FOR YOU, after all, it was your idea in the first place!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Áine
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 07:54 PM

That's my boys and girls! Come on down for a trim, y'all!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:15 PM

Aw shucks, Mbo! Oh, you guys'll like my choice for Wednesday night! It's "The Rose", and, although I go REALLY flat at some parts, and I just can't sing period, it's nice! I also did a second track with trumpet improv in the backround! I think you'll like it. =) (The instrument that sounds like a flute in the beginning is the trumpet)

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Áine
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:21 PM

Attagirl, Barky!! I'm so glad you didn't wimp out on us -- although I didn't think your dad would let you (hee hee). I'll be sure to be listening Wednesday night, and I hope you're ready for the all the fan mail you'll be getting!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM

Oooh... I hope so! =) Actually, I was feeling REALLY bad about the way it sounded and I was saying things like, "Oh, they wouldn't want to hear me." etc., and my daddy said, "You don't have to do this if you don't want to!", and I, being the stoic type, kept on doin' it till it wuz dun!

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Homeless
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM

Áine - is that supposed to be "for a trim" or "for some trim"?

Seriously tho, this morning on my way into work some blues lyrics on this topic attacked me. Don't know if I can get them all worked out and put down tonight tho. Are post-award entries allowed?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:30 PM

Barky:

Just explain the part about the thimble would you? And "put out"...means what to you, exactly?

Aside from these little questions I enjoyed your song very much. But I am worried about this new turn for the earthen....I fear I have brought you to a place of Bad Influence...sigh....

Dad

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Áine
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:36 PM

Dear Homeless -- The Offical Mudcat Songbook Policy On Late Submissions For Any Challenge! is . . . "We'll take anything, anytime! And don't worry about missing out on an award, either -- Some of our best entries have been the post-award ones (just ask Hyp and Bradypus)!

And as for the 'trim' thing -- I meant as in the trimming of hair on the head, and I really have no idea in the world what you could possibly have meant! . . . (yea, right!)

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Amos
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:43 PM

I love that Lulu takeoff Bradypus! Even did the tag ends beautifully! Way to go...

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 08:47 PM

Aww...you'll sound great, Barky, don't worry. Rule for Life #1--don't let ANYONE tell you that you are bad at something, and almost never believe it if you think it of yourself. Look at me! For years I had convinced myself that I couldn't sing, after years people telling me I couldn't. You've heard me...what do YOU think? I once said one thing I could NEVER do was write a tune by myself. Now look, I'm writing my own songs and tunes like it's nothing. Our minds and bodies are capable of so much moret than we give them credit for. Believe in YOURSELF and you'll always come out a winner.

Ah yes...the song. Should be done in about 20 minutes or so...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 09:30 PM

Mbo: You have an incredible voice!
Dad: OK: Thimble.. well, when people sew, they typically have thimbles on their fingers... and if that has anything sexual to it, well then.... TELL ME! *BG* And put out, well..... *ahem*... (Never thought I'd have to explain THIS to you!........ Well, when a man and a woman REALLY love each other.....

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: GUEST,Caitrin
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 09:45 PM

Man...I send my computer to get fixed, and look what I miss!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 10:25 PM

ARGHH!!!! I just lost the song! Now let me see if I can remember it!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Homeless
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 10:30 PM


The Closed-Down Beauty Salon Blues

I've always look spiffy
My clothes all on straight
My hair was so fancy
I always looked great.

But those days are over
I'll look smooth no more
Cause the ladies in town
have locked up the doors

I've got them ...
Closed-down Beauty Salon blues.

I loved all them gals
They put a smile on my face
every time I went down
to that hair cutting place

I'd just get a hair cut
and some eye candy
And then when I left there
I'uz happy and looked dandy.

I've got them ...
Closed-down Beauty Salon blues.

Them girls like to talk
Say my favorite thangs
Their words went real well
with them swivels and swangs

I ne'er even noticed
my hair being cut
My 'tention was focused
on somebody's

I've got them ...
Closed-down Beauty Salon blues.
(bridge, solo, whatever)
I've got them ...
Closed-down Beauty Salon blues.

I was always told
just to look and not touch
Them local polices
said that'd be too much

But it seems that some fellas
got carried away
They started to touchin'
So long as they paid

Now all of their wives
Said, "These antics must stop."
So they went down town and
they closed down my beauty shop.

I've got them ...
Closed-down Beauty Salon blues.

(spoken, as song fades out)
and my hair's getting shaggy
and I miss those girls
I guess I'll find a barber
to cut off my curls.
Why'd those ladies have to go and do that?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:24 PM

Ok....I know I'm never going to live this one down but...

(Tune Get a Haircut by George Thorogood)

You say your hair's too long, you look like a fool
You stare at girls all day, and you start to drool
But they ignore whatever you've got to say
Why not come and get some at our Salon today?

Le Salon Sex Symbol, yes that is our name
Just one stop at our place and you'll be glad you came
So if you need a little buzz on your knob
Come get a haircut and get a blow job

CHORUS
Come get a haircut and get a blow job
Come join our club, we make all members throb
So if you're looking for a trim or a bob
Come get a haircut and get a blowjob

If you want a crew cut, well that's ok
But five girls is the maximum, so our policies say
And if you've got something exotic in mind
Well to make our razors sharp, first we have to grind!

If you want the "the wet look" that's our specialty
You want witch hazel? We can get it on for a fee
It all ends up in a thick goopy blob
So come get a haircut and get a blow job!

CHORUS

All of our girls are very skilled with the hand
The best blow dryers in all of the land
Our favorite tune is "The Pipe on the Hob"
Come get a haircut and get a blow job!

CHORUS

Ugh....I feel so ashamed...so, so, dirty...

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: wysiwyg
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:43 PM

....no never mind, much too smutty a reaction to post.....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:53 PM

I feel I must admit it to you dad... You know that job I had? Well, *sniff* every day, *sob*, I would fly down to Argentina instead of *ack!* going to school, and, well... *Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!** *Sniff* I worked there.. *sniff* and now... I'M OUT OF A JOB!!!!!!! *waaaaaahh!!!!!!!!!!!*

~A very very sad Barky.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:53 PM

I feel I must admit it to you dad... You know that job I had? Well, *sniff* every day, *sob*, I would fly down to Argentina instead of *ack!* going to school, and, well... *Aaaaaaahhhh!!!!!!** *Sniff* I worked there.. *sniff* and now... I'M OUT OF A JOB!!!!!!! *waaaaaahh!!!!!!!!!!!*

~A very very sad Barky.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:55 PM

Hey look! Baby's first double posting! Oh, how cute!

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Mbo
Date: 20 Mar 00 - 11:59 PM

DON'T CRY FOR ME ARGENTINA! THE TRUTH IS I NEVER LEFT YOU!!

THROUGH ALL MY WILD DAYS, MY MAD EXISTENCE

I KEPT MY PROMISE, DON'T KEEP YOUR DISTANCE...

--Mbo (have I said too much, that's all I can think of to say to you...but all you have to do is look at me to know that EVERY WORD IS TRUE!)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:03 AM

Hey! We played that in the same field show! We also did King Herod's song from Jesus Christ Superstar, A melody of Phantom of the Opera songs, and something else which I don't remember.

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:12 AM

Ah....doesn't Andrew Lloyd Webber just plain RULE!? Barky, you just gotta listen to Cats! That has the best brass and woodwinds music of any musical! Well, except for THE music, Les Miserables..."Bring Him Home" on Cor Anglais....ahh..bliss..

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:06 AM

Man, Mbo! I just knew you had it in you!!! So glad to see that you're not hiding your light under a bushel any longer!!! Mister REAL LIFE MBO!!! TADAAAAAAAAA!! What a day .... what a beautiful day....

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Barky
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:09 AM

Chicago has some pretty darn good brass, tho.

~Barky

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:16 AM

FEVER!

Barky, you just gotta hear MacCavity from Cats...it'll blow you away!

--Mbo

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Hyperabid
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 04:54 AM

Well you have all been busy little beavers (no pun intended) over the pond whilst we poor Europeans have been asleep.

Well done all!

Hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Homeless
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 07:07 AM

I surprised no one has thought of this one yet... It's simplicity itself. Or maybe they've thought of it but had the good taste not to post it...

Shave and a haircut... and two tits.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Homeless
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 07:49 AM

To the tune of The Beatles' "Come Together"

Up in
Quebec, in a
town called Laval, There's a
beauty salon, that's the
stuff of fable,
All the girls who work there dress exotic,
and they do the dances of the type so erotic.

If no one touches, then its
very legal, but the
men of Laval, like to
get their feels,
And the girl working here just offered me more
Now I'm gettin' my hair cut by a good looking whore

Come together, right now, with me

Tickle my nose, with your
short and curlies, just like
Bob DeNiro, s'the scent
of you girlies,
that makes me smile and drool so much
The hell with that old rule that states that I can't touch

Can we come together, right now, just for me?

Well it
seems my girlfriend, thinks my
trust needs tested, so she
called the police, and I
got arrested,
They closed down the nicest salon today.
Since we got interuptted do I still have to pay?

Come together, right now, just for free.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 09:28 AM

I knew it, I knew it!!! I knew y'all had a couple more songs in ya! Mbo - I have to agree with Amos, you've been 'outed' as a REAL MAN by that song; so, no more whinging about how you're a 'prude' anymore. We have the goods on ya now, young man (hee hee hee). Well done, I'm so proud of you.

Homeless - you're shameless as well, aren't ya? Just what we need around here -- join the family! And no, that little shave and a . . . business does NOT qualify as an entry; besides, I doubt seriously that it hasn't been thought of before. Good job on both of your songs!

Thanks for the late entries -- I think we've 'been there, done that' on this one (well, except for Barky and Mbo, perhaps), so I'll be posting awards this morning and starting the next Challenge!. The next one is a doozy, so don't miss it -- Just to tease y'all a little bit -- We've written songs about ferrets, panties, double entendre haircuts, marital infidelity, 'hooded' weddings, munchkins, online bovines, breakfast cereal, whacked chickens, enraged moose, nude shoppers, food, and bees with antennae on their bottoms; but, what subject have we NOT touched on in the SONG CHALLENGE! series yet?????

Stay Tuned . . . , Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Hyperabid
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:11 AM

Naked custard-throwing lesbian seals on unicycles?

Hyp

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:28 AM

Gawd, but I love your twisted little mind, Hyp!!

- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:40 AM

I refuse to believe there are custard throwing seals. Custard throwing sea lions perhaps, but seals? Some things are just a bit too far fetched to believe in.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:53 AM

I'm glad to see, MM, that someone is keeping one eye on reality around here. I'm just trying to figure out who it is....:>),p>I love you guys!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Hyperabid
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 12:08 PM

Hyper <~~~~ Twisted? Moi?

LOL

Hyp ;-P

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:03 PM

OK Challenge!rs -- Here we go. Congratulations and thanks to all submitters and everyone else who just had a good laugh with us. The custard throwing seals are up next in a few minutes -- get your pens and sponges ready! And don't forget to let me know if you now qualify for the Whole Bag O' Chips award now.

-- Áine

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award:
Delilah and Sam by Áine and Dear Hubby

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster:
*Cetchy Liddle Jingle* by Barky
Come Together by Homeless
Cut And Blow Job by Kara
Get A Haircut by Mbo
Will Ye Go, Mikey? by Amos

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon:
So Needy by Hyperabid
Something For The Weekend by Bradypus

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Cleigh's Blue Fume Shield:
The Closed-Down Beauty Salon Blues by Homeless

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 22 Aug 01 - 04:23 PM

Jingle

We clip, We strip, no lip
We'll cut your hair in our underwear

Song I've Been Everywhere Recorded by Hank Snow Written by Geoff Mack

I was workin on a contract
In the little town of Laval Quebec
I was feelin kinda hairy
So I decided "What the heck?
I'll get me a little haircut
So I went looking to see what I could find
So I went to le Sex Symbol
And took my place in line
Things looked kinda crazy as I sat down in the chair
"I can see that you're real purty ma'am
But can you cut my hair?

Can you cut my hair ma'am?
Can you cut my hair ma'am?
I see you standing there ma'am
Just in your underwear ma'am
I have just one fear ma'am
Can you cut my hair?

I see rude girls, lewd girls, crude girls, nude girls
Corny girls, porny girls, horny girls and shorny girls
Nice girls, spice girls, on a bed of rice girls
Naughty girls, haughty girls, "Look what he just bought me" girls
Glad girls, bad girls, even on the pad girls
Small girls, tall girls, up against the wall girls
See girls, gee girls, keep your hands off me girls
Can you cut my Hair?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 17
From: Aidan Crossey
Date: 29 Aug 01 - 06:51 AM

Since the story occurred in Canada, I've parodied that classic, Canadee-i-o.

It's of a gallant lady, renowned for cutting hair
Who looked divine in finery, and better when all bare
To combine such talents, to sea this lass did go
To seek her fame and fortune in Canadee-i-o

Oh Canadee's the place for me, where the whale-fish they do blow
Where there's beaver and there's caribou and in winter lots of snow
And if you feel frustrated to the barbers you can go
And take a little off the top in Canadee-i-o

Sadie Smythe is young and lithe and her hair is black as coal
And you should see that lady writhe around the barber's pole
She can trim your quiff and make you stiff, she puts on quite a show
Sadie Smythe will blow you dry in Canadee-i-o

"Something for the weekend sir?" purred the lovely Kitty Day
"Or maybe you can't wait that long! I'm happy either way
I always meet the client's needs, I never answer no
We're easy come and easy go in Canadee-i-o"

You rambling boys of pleasure, make your way along with me
In search of recreation, we will sail to Canadee
Let grass grow beneath our feet? Loud comes the answer no
And we shall not let our hair grow long in Canadee-i-o