Lyr Add: parodies sung by Homer and Jethro

Subject: Lyr Add: CAMP RUNAMUCK (from Homer & Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:11 PM

Lyrics transcribed from the sound file at http://www.geocities.com/u2page5/

CAMP RUNAMUCK
(Howard Greenfield, Jack Keller)

CHORUS: Oh, Runamuck, there's summer fun
In Runamuck, but we have none
In Runamuck, 'cause in Runamuck, only couns'lors have the fun.
Oh, Runamuck, we're out o' luck
In Runamuck, 'cause we've been stuck
In Runamuck, Runamuck, Runamuck, till the summer's done.

On the lake of Wannatonka there's a camp called Runamuck,
And to our misfortune we're the campers who got stuck.
The food tastes just like poison and the pollen makes us sneeze,
While day and night, mosquitoes bite our elbows and our knees. CHORUS

All the couns'lors think we're sleepin' but we're really wide awake.
We hear them canoein' to the girls across the lake.
We would like to follow but the chance is purty slim.
What can we do? There's one canoe an' none of us can swim.

[On the final chorus, Homer sings the words shown above while Jethro sings the following lines as counterpoint:]
Oh, Runamuck! We will be true.
Though it hurts, we're gonna see it through.
Oh, we will raise your colors high,
But they forgot to tell us why.

[As recorded by Homer & Jethro on "The Old Crusty Minstrels," 1965. This is not a parody. The words and music are as written by Greenfield and Keller for the US TV sitcom "Camp Runamuck," 1964-65 (also shown on BBC1 on Saturday mornings, 1975). Only the tune without words-and not performed by H&J-was actually used on the show.]

Subject: Lyr Add: THEY LAID HIM IN THE GROUND (parody)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 12 Jan 04 - 11:51 PM

The following seems to be based on an old-time or bluegrass song, but I don't have any information about the original.

Lyrics transcribed from the sound file at http://www.geocities.com/u2page6/

THEY LAID HIM IN THE GROUND
(As sung by Homer & Jethro)

CHORUS: They laid him in the ground, boys, laid him in the ground.
One more there an' one less here. They laid him in the ground.

Once I had a Thomas cat. He could warble like Caruso.
A neighbor swung a baseball bat. Now Thomas doesn't do so. CHORUS

Now Uncle Henry learned to fly a plane up in the air.
His parachute was full o' holes, but Henry didn't care. CHORUS

A man stood on a divin' board. He made a monstrous leap.
He didn't know the water there was only one foot deep. CHORUS

Now Mr. Julius Caesar was a great man, we all allow.
The greatest man of all his day, but where is Caesar now? CHORUS

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,AF
Date: 16 Jan 04 - 01:08 PM

JIM DIXON Thank you for posting the additional songs. Turns out I didn't have any of those in my collection. My friend will be pleasantly surprised at the number of songs I was able to find and I owe it mostly to this web site and to you. Thank you again AF

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,ches
Date: 19 Jan 05 - 11:54 AM

I am looking for the words to Homer and Jethro's rendition of "Love and Marriage". Any help?

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Guest, mew
Date: 20 Jan 05 - 11:16 AM

My mother and her friends used to sing a Homer and Jethro song "She Made toothpicks of the Timber in My Heart"

She was tall and she was limber, as timber she was fine
But her heart was (something something) turpentine
Like an axeblade cuts a pole
She made sawdust of my soul
she made toothpicks of the timber in my heart

I would love to have the rest of the lyrics -- Mom doesn't think she has them all.

Subject: Toothpicks from the timber of my heart
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 09 Feb 05 - 01:08 AM

Sounds like this to me....

Fer a backwoods gal was she
And fer choppin' down a tree
She was handy with an ax and she was smart
Oh but I should have passed her by
When she waved and hollered hi
She made toothpicks of the timber of my heart

Well when whe promised to be mine
I cut ninety logs of pine
For a little cabin in our world of hearts
All our dreams were heaven bound
Till she tore that castle down
She made toothpicks of the timber of my heartx

She made toothpicks of the timber of my heart
She made toothpicks of the timber of my heart
Like a buzzsaw rips a pole
She made sawdust of my soul
She made toothpicks of the timber of my heart

She was tall and she was limber
And for timber she was fine
But her lips were poison oak and turpentine
She was cute and I was green
Yes my darlin' lumber queen
Twined me 'round her finger like a clingin' vine

Now I hang around the shack
Jist a lonesome lumberjack
Mighta knowed her heart
Was wooden from the start
When she snatched away her charms
There were splinters in my arms
She made toothpicks of the timber of my heart

She made toothpicks of the timber of my heart
She made toothpicks of the timber of my heart
When she rolled me down that hill
And she run me thru the mill
She made toothpicks of the timber of my heart

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Kaleea
Date: 09 Feb 05 - 04:06 AM

Some of my fav songs are Homer & Jethro songs. I often quote some of their jokes when I'm at the jams. Sometimes, someone there knows of what I speak. Their songs are terrific with the nursing home set.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,hye
Date: 09 Feb 05 - 04:10 AM

test

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: kendall
Date: 09 Feb 05 - 08:12 PM

..you'll never know how much it hurts to see you sit and cry,
But you could cry much better if you had your other eye... classic H&J

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: kendall
Date: 10 Feb 05 - 06:40 AM

Does anyone remember:
When we walk hand in hand her breath smells like a garbage can it's tragic,
Her hair looks like saurkraut and when she laughs he teeth fall out it's tragic...


...her teeth stuck out so far she didn't have much sense
she could eat an ear of corn right through a picket fence...


I picked her up one night to see what we could see,
That's when I met her husband, he stood 6 foot three
He had brass knuckles made to order
Now my teeth are scattered on the Tennessee border.
or

I went to your wedding although I was dreading
the thought of seeing you,
Your Father was laughing, your Mother was laughing
At last they got rid of you..

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: erinmaidin
Date: 10 Feb 05 - 07:10 AM

I remember, in the 70's, walking in to a Ramada Inn in South Bend, Indiana, to hear a band called "The Wright Brothers Overland Stage Company" who were from French Lick, IN. Out in the hallway, was a smallish man tuning up and playing some wonderful licks on a mandolin. We had marvelous conversation and went for coffee and talked some more, all the while the band was waiting for him to come up and do a guest performance! That was the night I first met Jethro Burns and he was a very warm and funny man...I'll never forget him.

Subject: Lyr Add: WATERLOO (parody from Homer and Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 20 Jul 05 - 11:01 PM

From The Record Lady's All-Time Country Favorites, Requests Page 13.

(The Record Lady also has the original-Stonewall Jackson's WATERLOO-at Real Country Page 2.)

WATERLOO
As sung by Homer and Jethro

What are you-oo gonna do-oo?

Now once a feller by the name of Jimmy Payne
Took a shotgun and blowed out all his brains.
Got a job where he needs no brains, of course.
He's a flatfoot on the local pólice force.

Waterloo, Waterloo,
Where will you meet your Waterloo?
He walks his beat unafraid
As long as it's downgrade.
Ever'body has to meet his Waterloo.

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode the trail,
Catching outlaws an' puttin' them in jail,
But the Ranger shot ol' Tonto 'cause it seems
He found out what kemo-sabe means.

Waterloo, Waterloo,
Where will you meet your Waterloo?
Oh, the ranger he did trust,
Then ol' Tonto bit the dust.
Ever'body has to meet his Waterloo.

Uncle Hobe the other day was found
In a barrel of moonshine where he drowned,
And they'll lay him in his last restin' place
Soon as they can wipe the smile off his face.

Waterloo, Waterloo,
Where will you meet your Waterloo?
Pore ol' Hobert had to goof (?)
And he wound up a hundred proof.
Ever'body has to meet his Waterloo.
Ever'body has to meet his Water-(He had to meet his H-2-O)-loo.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Kaleea
Date: 20 Jul 05 - 11:12 PM

I love the Music of Homer & Jethro! So much so, that a wonderful 'Catter once sent me a copy of my lost fav recording of the dynamic parody duo, which I still listen to. I still perform some of the old H & J songs at nursing homes, where there are big laughs. Especially the billboard song. I use some of the older than "Granpa Jones & Minnie Pearl's corns" jokes, too.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,fuzzballz
Date: 02 Aug 05 - 11:08 PM

Does anyone have the lyrics to Funny Farm on the Fractured Folksongs album? or know where I can aquire it? The country music lady's site has been shut down.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 29 Oct 05 - 10:42 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Dallas Reed
Date: 23 Nov 05 - 11:49 PM

Hi if you haven't found the last versr of Pore Ol' Koo-liger it goes Like this

Now When he sings Peter Cotton Tail The Rabbit never cheers
He takes the cotton From his tail and stuffs it in his ears
Koo-liger
He sprayes his throat to help his voice each Day
But all it does is keep the fly's away

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 24 Nov 05 - 12:20 AM

That is the 5th verse of the 6 verses I have.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Dallas Reed
Date: 26 Nov 05 - 11:36 PM

If You have any other verses of Kooliger would you mind Sharing them? Thanks Dallas Reed

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 27 Nov 05 - 06:41 AM

I got all six verses by searching this site.

Subject: Lyr Add: HART BRAKE MOTEL (Homer & Jethro)
From: GUEST,Frank in Lubbock
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 09:03 AM

I agree with you on the great parody songs of Homer and Jethro. I also perform many of their songs and the older people just love the stuff. I have been doing Heartbreak Motel for years, but not sure I have the words just right. I will post them here and let me know if there are any corrections.

HART BRAKE MOTEL
Homer & Jethro

1. Down at the Hart Brake Motel, my room it was so small,
Ever' time I tried to smile, my teeth would touch the wall,
But I'm a-stayin' and a-payin'.
I ain't got room to change my mind.

2. I picked up my telephone. The manager said, "Hello."
He said, "What's eatin' you?" I said, "That's what I'd like to know,
An' I'm a-itchin', an' a-scratchin'.
I'm wearin' out my fingernails."

3. I walked up to the room clerk. He looked at me and said,
"You can have a room, but you will have to make your bed."
I said, "That's OK, buddy. I learned that from my ma."
Then he reached out and handed me a hammer and a saw.
And I'm a-nailin' and a-wailin'
Here at the Hart Brake Motel.

4. Here at the Hart Brake Motel, I got a room with bath.
Back home, I only had a room, and it just had a path.
This outside plumbin', it's unbecomin'.
It's really out of this world.

5. The waiter in the dinin' room, he filled my heart with cheer.
He said I would enjoy it 'cause I could eat dirt cheap here,
And he was so right. That was my last night,
And now I'm checkin' out of here.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Bernie
Date: 20 Feb 06 - 01:02 PM

There's currently a link on the main page of "Mandolin Cafe";a live clip from an old tv show.....one of their well-known parodies,which also gives us a taste of what great musicians they were.....much has been made of Jethro[and rightly so],but watch Homer's effortless guitar playing.......

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro "I'm My Own Grandpa''
From: GUEST,Davilance
Date: 25 Feb 07 - 11:49 AM

We used to have a 78 RPM record of "I'm My Own Grandpa'' from the 1940s with Jerry Lewis singing it.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Joe Wills
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 03:19 PM

Anyone have the Homer & Jethro Lyrics to "SIXTEEN TONS"?
Please reply to [e-mail].

Thanks!

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Bill D
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 05:13 PM

Joe Wills....please check back HERE to see if there are answers. Many do not wish to email unknown persons,

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Stephen L. Rich
Date: 16 Apr 07 - 11:06 PM

I am My Own grandpa was done by Lonzo and Oscar

Subject: Lyr Add: JAM-BOWL-LIAR (Homer & Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 30 Jul 07 - 06:54 PM

JAM-BOWL-LIAR, is, of course, a parody of Hank Williams' JAMBALYA..

Homer & Jethro's recording appears on their album "America's Song Butchers: The Weird World of Homer & Jethro," Razor & Tie CD #2130, 1997.

It's also on YouTube, which is where I heard theses lyrics:

JAM-BOWL-LIAR
As sung by Homer & Jethro

Goodbye, ma'am. We gotta scram down the highway.
Stick out your thumb, you son-of-a-gun. Goin' my way?
I got a ride with a guy in a wagon,
In a sack in the back that he was a-draggin'.
Jam-bowl-liar, shoo-fly pie, an' bananner puddin',
'Cause tonight I'm a-gonna see ol' Sally Goodin.
Danced all night; on my feet wore a blister.
Had to sidetrack her nose when I kissed her.

On the couch side by side we was settin',
And just about the time we started a-pettin',
Some big hick throwed a brick through the winder,
Hit her side, hurt her pride, broke my finger.
Jam-bowl-liar, horse-meat pie on a push-cart,
Flipped my lid, always did love that red heart
It was rough. The meat was tough. I chewed it slow.
Almost choked when some bloke hollered "Whoa!"

Jam-bowl-liar an' a pizza pie an' a bowl o' soup beans,
Spotted ham and a can o' choc'late-coated sardines.
When we sing, it sounds just like a cat-and-dog fight,
But we don't sing for money, just for spi-ite.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,glenn
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 10:35 AM

this is from very old and tattered memory.

'wanted' lampooned the sappy perry como song of the same name and was the 'b' side to 'hernando's hide-away'.

i've asked my son -- who performed it with a buddy at a high school gala of some sort not all that long ago -- if he can help resurrect it.


wanted

wanted - the girl i trusted - who took my money and stole my car
wanted - the girl . . . and left me - mad as farr.

i can laugh now 'cause it didn't hurt a bit - the car was stolen and the money's counterfeit.
she's wanted by all the po-lice - they'll never catch her un-a-werr
because she'll lead them into the round house - and they'll ne-ver corner her therr.

[mandolin interlude]

she was last seen in her-nando's hideaway - she was wearin' one of benny's old toupees.
a jury will find her guilty, and as i see it, there ain't no hope
when she was bo-rrn her dear old mother - shoulda been arrested for smug-a-lin' dope.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Peace
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 12:38 PM

"I cocked an eye at her, she cocked an eye at me and we sat there as cock-eyed as could be."

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,glenn
Date: 16 Sep 07 - 09:29 PM

Heard back from my son, and this is pretty close to right:

WANTED

Wanted - the girl I trusted - who took my money and stole my car.
Wanted - the girl I trusted - who left me stranded - and mad as farr.

I can laugh now 'cause it didn't hurt a bit - the car was stolen and the money's counterfeit.
She’s wanted by all the po-lice - they'll never catch her un-a-werr
Because she'll lead them into the roundhouse - and they'll never corner her there.

[Mandolin interlude]

She was last seen in Hernando's hideaway - she was wearin' one of Benny’s old toupees.
A jury will find her guilty, and as I see it, there ain't no hope.
When she was born her dear old mother - should been arrested for smug-a-lin' dope.


(Incidentally, several words are spelled here like they were pronounced on the recording.)

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,"Sixteen Tons" Lyrics
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 12:47 AM

Some people say a man is made outta dirt
Bow-legged britches and a humpbacked shirt
Ev'ry man has his woman to make him tick
But only the miner has his pick

You load sixteen tons, how do you feel?
Too tired to work, too scared to steal.
Saint Peter, don't you holler for me today
'Cause I'm a-diggin' the other way

Uncle John was a miner, he was long and tall.
Chasin' after women made him end it all.
He could never catch 'em, though he tried,
So old Uncle John laid down and died

(Abbreviated chorus, just repeating the words "Sixteen tons", with sound effects)

I was born one mornin' when the sun didn't shine
I remember my mama was a-gone at the time
The doctor looked down, and he said, "Oh, my!
I wonder whether he's gonna walk or fly."

(Same abbreviated chorus. with sound effects)

Well, I've shoveled this coal 'til my back is bent.
My get-up-and-go has got up and went.
My wife ran away with my friend Jim.
I don't miss her but I do miss him.

You load sixteen tons, what do you get?
Slag in your pants and soaked with sweat.
Tennessee Ernie done made this song
But the pea-picker sung the words all wrong.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro ("He'll Have to Go" Lyrics)
From: GUEST
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 01:04 AM

(Starts with phone ringing during the musical intro, and a woman answering with a nasal voice, "Hello?")

Put your big mouth a little closer to the phone
Don't you try to tell me that you're all alone
You only go out with your friends, you told me so
But you don't have no enemies, you'll have to go

(Woman says, "Hello?" again between verses)

The tomcat said, when he kissed the skunk, "Though it's been grand,
I've enjoyed all of this that I can stand."
You said you'd stick with me through thick and thin, I know
But the longer you stick, the thinner I get. You'll have to go.

(Woman says "HEL-LO", accenting both syllables)

When your mother came to visit us,
She would knock, then knock again
You and me would always have a fuss,
'Cause I would not let her in

Oh, put your fat mouth a little closer to the phone
Don't you try to tell me that you're all alone
The man with you must be a Navy man, I know
And you can tell him the coast is clear now, you'll have to go.

(Woman's voice repeating "Hello? Hello?" as record fades)

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Amos
Date: 30 Sep 07 - 09:18 AM

The "Nashville Katz" song mentioned above was not H&J, I believe -- it was on the flip side of another Yiddish parody called " I Got a Goil, her Name is SHoily Klein".

Lyrics from memory below.


A



NASHVILLE KATZ


Nashville Katz!
He runs a kosher deliii!
Nashville Katz!
It's the only one in town!
Nashville Katz!
It's not like yer in Brooklyn!
Nashville Katz!
He's the only one around!

We;;, there are fourteen hundred and fifty three different restaurants in Nashville,
Where you can get anything from hominy grits to Chatex de Tournville.
But there's only one place for a good Jewish boy, if he really wants to eat well,
Just tell anybody to take you to Katz' -- the kosher deli in Nashville!


Nashville Katz!
He runs a kosher deliii.
Nashville Katz!
It's the only one in town.
Nashville Katz!
It's not like yer in Brooklyn!
Nashville Katz!
He's the only one around!

(This is followed by a klezmer riff fading with a rabbinical voice chanting "Hai, ducka ducka ducka, Hai! ducka ducka duca..." fade.)

Subject: Lyr Add: THE HILLBILLY HIPPIE AND MARIJANE
From: GUEST,Gene
Date: 11 Nov 07 - 06:53 PM

Ran across some 25-30 year old cassette tapes and found this jewel.

It is not on any of the many H&J LPs/CAs I have and since it has a slight mis-speak goof in it...suspect it was from a live show...


THE HILLBILLY HIPPIE AND MARIJANE
Homer & Jethro

Way down south in New Orleans
Walkin' down Bourbon Street
Saw a country cat, he wore no hat
No shoes upon his feet

As he walked along, he's puttin' ever'body on
With a pseudo southern drawl
He'd bum a dime and then he'd whine
Merci beaucoup, you all

He was a real gone turned on hillbilly hippie
And he flew jist like a plane
He could go like a jet when he smoked cigarettes
That the hippies call marijane

Well he called for his pipe and he took a puff
He took off on a trip
Didn't need a train, didn't need a plane
He could sail without a ship

And soon he'd be in Tennessee
Hong Kong and old Baghdad
He'd take a whirl around the world
And never leave his pad

He was a real gone turned on hillbilly hippie
And he flew jist like a plane
He could go like a jet when he'd smoke a cigarette
That the hippies call marijane

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,TChappell
Date: 18 Dec 07 - 12:35 PM

Home with a sick child today and found this wonderful site, have to contribute two of my favorites from H&J Go West.

"Down in the Alley" (to the tune of "Down in the Valley")

Down in the alley,
in back of a bar,
at Honest John's car lot,
I bought my first car.

She's got eight cylinders,
and that's no bunk.
four in the motor
and four in the trunk.

Twenty miles to the gallon
I get it with her.
Of course I mean waa-ter
in the ra-dee-ay-ter.

Ninety miles in a hour
she does it with ease.
Cause I'm using whisky
instead of antifreeze.

Went through a toll booth
faster than I planned
Now they've got my quarter
and also my hand.

When we pass a junkyard
her steering wheel bends.
She wants to go in there
and be with her friends.

Down in the alley,
in back of a bar,
at Honest John's car lot...
I bought my LAST car.

And their great parody of "Get Along Little Dogies".

As I was out walking one morning for pleasure,
I spied a cab driver a whizzing along.
His flag was up and his meter was a runnin,
as he run me down he was a singing this song.

Chorus
Whoop ee ti yi yo-oo, look out little people
it's your misfortune and none of my own.
My horn won't blow and my brakes ain't a workin,
you know the hospital will be your next home.

I started to jaywalk and that's when he hit me.
Straight up in the air like a rocket I went.
And when I came down they gave me a ticket
fer leavin' the scene of the accident.

Repeat Chorus

As I was out driving my Edsel one morning,
my Collier's magazine there on the seat.
My Nixon stickers were stuck on the bumper,
I was goin the wrong way on a one way street.

Whoop ee ti yi oo-oo, I hit a police car,
They took my Edsel and towed it away.
The judge looked down as he tore up my license
and said, " Well sonny...
(spoken) This just ain't been your day!"

Whoop ee ti yi oo oo.

Grew up listening to these old record of my Mom's and they will probably be some of the last things I ever forget. (much to my wife's dismay!)

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 08 Jul 08 - 12:53 PM

See MAMA FROM THE TRAIN (A KISS, A KISS) for the Patti Page original and the Homer & Jethro parody.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 27 Jul 08 - 11:43 PM

I posted CRAZY MIXED UP SONG in another thread. The chorus starts: "Be kind to your web-footed friends."

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 12:21 AM

See ON A SLOW BOAT TO CHINA for the original and the parody.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 28 Jul 08 - 01:11 AM

See WANTED for the Perry Como original and the Homer & Jethro parody.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,glenn
Date: 12 Nov 08 - 11:56 PM

[this is a great site. thanks to the folks who make it happen]

good ol' youtube:

wanted

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,glenn
Date: 13 Nov 08 - 12:00 AM

wow. i should read the most recent post before i write.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: skarpi
Date: 18 Dec 08 - 06:09 PM

hallo all , I am always last to find good music ,
is there some one who has the lyric of the song

" I´ve got tears in my ears when I am layin on my bed "

Homer and Jethro sang this song , I got the song in audio.

well all , this is a tresure for me to find something like this
now I have something to do over the holydays :>))

All the best Skarpi Iceland

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,Jim
Date: 07 Mar 09 - 07:39 PM

Anybody remember a H&J parody of Bobby Goldsboro's "Honey" called "Sugar"? I'm not sure it was H&J....after all, it was the 60s.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST,jimjo
Date: 24 May 09 - 03:13 AM

ALL THIS TIME I THOUGHT I WAS THE ONLY ONE THAT KNEW ABOUT THESE GUYS GLAD TO SEE THERE ARE STILL SOME "SANE" FOLK AROUND. WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO GUYS LIKE THAT HAS EVERYONE LOST THEIR SENSE OF HUMOR? I SURE HOPE NOT!



I'LL BE BACK FOR SURE.

Subject: Lyr Add: A SCREWBALL'S LOVE SONG (Homer & Je
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Jun 09 - 10:39 PM

This seems to be an original song, not a parody. The lyrics and songwriting credit below were transcribed by me from a YouTube video made from a 45-rpm record.

I have included some patter from a different video at YouTube, taken from The Old American Barn Dance Show in 1953:


A SCREWBALL'S LOVE SONG
Written by Boudleaux Bryant
As recorded by Homer and Jethro (RCA Victor 5099)

SPOKEN (Homer): Well, thank you. Thank you a lot for your sympathy. We just know two songs an' we always sing one of 'em first, so we'd like to do the other'n right now. We're gonna do one here called "I Miss My Wife's Cookin'—Whenever I Can."

1: Achin' hearts an' breakin hearts
An' lonely sad forsaken hearts
Have made all love songs sound the same to me,
But such corny lines, my dear,
Won't be whispered in your ear
When I croon my brand-new love song tenderly:

CHORUS: Oh, my lungs are plumb collapsin' over you,
An' I'm a-gittin' me a stomach ulcer, too.
If you ever treat me mean,
It is sure to bust my spleen,
An' my blood veins would be miserable, too.
When you smile, it fills my tonsils full o' joy.
Please don't use my adenoids for just a toy.
I'm in love from A to Izzard,
So don't trifle with my gizzard,
'Cause I've gone and lost my liver, dear, to you.

SPOKEN (Homer): Ah, come in now, Jethro.

SPOKEN (Jethro): We call this second part of this song "Git Out o' the Barn, Gran'ma. You're Too Old to Be Horsin' Around."

2: I hear silent love calls
When I gaze into your eyeballs.
My eardrums beat for you alone, it's true.
I love the way you giggle,
An' can make your little ears wiggle,
And no one else pops bubble gum like you.

CHORUS 2: I've got chronic indigestion over you,
'Cause I'm wond'rin if your fickle liver's true.
If you ever go away,
I'll have hiccups ever' day,
And my lonely sad appendix will be blue.
When you clobber me with your two lips of fire,
I can feel my toenails curlin' with desire.
All the geese on my goose pimples
Honk and quack about your dimples.
Baby doll, with all my gizzard, I love you.

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Jun 09 - 10:55 AM

I just posted RANDOLPH THE FLAT-NOSED REINDEER in the Christmas parodies thread.

Subject: Lyr Add: HOUN' DAWG (Homer and Jethro)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 01:25 PM

HOUN' DAWG
Homer & Jethro

You're a puny little hound dog. You ain't very stout. (2x)
Well, you look like an Airedale with the air let out.

Well, you said you was high-class, that you had a pedigree. (2x)
You ain't nothin' but a mongrel an' you got a million fleas.

Well, they said you was a bird-dog but you look like a goat. (2x)
But you couldn't be a bird-dog. You ain't never sung a note.

Now once I had a hound-dog, an' 'er name was Kim. (2x)
She ain't never had a puppy so I got rid o' him.

*
For comparison:
HOUND DOG - Big Mama Thornton's version
HOUND DOG - Elvis Presley's version

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 21 Sep 09 - 03:17 PM

I just posted Homer & Jethro's THE NITE AFTER CHRISTMAS in the thread Lyr Add: A Visit from St. Nicholas (Clement Moore)—so that the parody can be near its original, naturally!

Subject: RE: Homer and Jethro
From: GUEST
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 10:52 AM

Can anybody help me with the first line of "You Belong To Me" by Homer and Jethro. I sounds like "Bring me pot balls in a paper bowl".

Subject: Lyr Add: HEY SCHMO - parody of HEY JOE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 12:37 PM

The original for this one is HEY JOE, written by Boudleaux Bryant, and a hit record by Carl Smith in 1953. The lyrics are posted here.

You can hear the parody at http://78records.cdbpdx.com/ (Follow the instructions on that page to get to the "main music page.")


HEY SCHMO
As sung by Homer and Jethro, RCA Victor 20-5555

Hey, schmo!
Where'd you get this golly-whopper?
Where'd you get this gravy-sopper?
Since we met she really cooked my goose.
Hey, schmo!
When we dance and I enfold her,
Don't need you to help me hold her.
Come on, schmo, and help me turn her loose.
Now listen, schmo.
She's gotta go,
With her hair that's hangin' down her back so low.
It's a-hangin' down her back, I said,
But there ain't none a-growin' on her head.
Wish I was dead.
Hey, schmo!
Buddies we have always been,
But gang-a-rene has done set in,
So take her back and dig some other place.

Now listen, schmo:
I'm a-tellin' you
That you'd better come and get her P.D.Q.
She has got a purty figger,
But her face is just like Trigger.
That's the proof
Somebody goofed.
Hey, schmo!
I just want to get the facts.
Where'd you get this battle-axe?
I don't want her and I never will.
Give this soupy-snapper back to Eddie Hill.


[I have a couple of questions: Where'd they come up with the expression "soupy-snapper"? (Did I transcribe it correctly?) Who is/was Eddie Hill?]

Subject: Lyr Add: YOU EWE U - parody of YOU YOU YOU
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 07 Jan 10 - 01:41 PM

The original of this is YOU, YOU, YOU, written by Robert Mellín and Lotar Olias, and recorded by the Ames Brothers, RCA Victor 20-5325, 1953. Lyrics are posted here. (There are other songs with the same title.)

Homer & Jethro's parody can be heard at http://78records.cdbpdx.com/. (Follow instructions on that page to get to the "main music page.")


YOU, EWE, U
(As sung by Homer and Jethro, RCA Victor 20-5555)

I took a walk in the country, and as I wandered along,
I heard the strangest music. A sheep was singin' this song:

You, you, you,
I'm in love with you, you, you.
Your eyeballs are so blue, blue, blue,
You wooly booger you, you, you.

Then she said:
"You're nothin' but a muttonhead."
So he answered with a grin:
"Will you be my lanolin?"

He follered her over the mountains to see what he could learn,
But she disappeared in the bushes. He didn't see that U-turn.

You, you, you
Got me in a stew, stew, stew.
I could be so true, true, true
To a ewe like you, you, you.

Then he went and killed hisself because he was so blue.
He heard the radio playin' "There'll Never Be another Ewe."

So don't chase girls.
Don't be taken by their curls.
Remember this could happen to
Anyone like you — and you — and you-all.

Baa-aa-aa!